Kuetsar Posted November 14, 2013 Share Posted November 14, 2013 DALLAS—Responding to increased media attention in the wake of allegations of improper, hostile conduct within the Miami Dolphins organization, several NFL players across the league today expressed concerns that the heightened scrutiny could potentially disrupt professional football’s vibrant locker room BDSM culture. “There’s a very delicate team dynamic that exists in the locker room when we all strap on our restraints and engage in hardcore bondage play, and it needs to stay out of the public eye,” a harness-clad DeMarcus Ware told reporters through the unzipped mouth slot of his leather face mask, saying that the presence of reporters and photographers would throw off the natural environment of submission, discipline, nipple torture, and sexually charged abuse that currently thrives in all 32 NFL locker rooms. “After the game ends and we return to the locker room to hook ourselves up to the ceiling, the absolute last thing we need is some nosy journalist hanging around watching us drip hot candle wax on each other’s moaning bodies. That’s just how this sport has always been, and the media needs to respect that and keep their distance.” Ware added that any journalists attempting to access the locker room while the players are participating in their usual sadomasochistic activities would have to be taught a lesson. please tell me that's the Onion. . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raziel Posted November 14, 2013 Share Posted November 14, 2013 C'mon, you needed to ask. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kuetsar Posted November 14, 2013 Share Posted November 14, 2013 C'mon, you needed to ask. You know, with how crazy the world has gotten, sometimes I really wonder. . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raziel Posted November 14, 2013 Share Posted November 14, 2013 Point. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fat Spanish Waiter Posted November 14, 2013 Share Posted November 14, 2013 Demarcus Ware is unimpeachable IMO, so that was a silly question Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dolfan in NYC Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 Richie Incognito has filed a grievance with the NFLPA regarding his suspension. Essentially he wants to get paid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kuetsar Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 Richie Incognito has filed a grievance with the NFLPA regarding his suspension. Essentially he wants to get paid. It begins. . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ryan Posted November 15, 2013 Author Share Posted November 15, 2013 That bat would probably run the ball better than what you have. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kuetsar Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 That bat would probably run the ball better than what you have. Now your just sounding silly. . . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ryan Posted November 15, 2013 Author Share Posted November 15, 2013 ::Looks at Dolphins rushing stats::Not really. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kuetsar Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 That bat would probably run the ball better than what you have. Now your just sounding silly. . . . I'm a Bills fan. . . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vincey Greene Posted November 16, 2013 Share Posted November 16, 2013 That bat would probably run the ball better than what you have. Now your just sounding silly. . . . I'm a Bills fan. . . . Hmm, let me check Spiller's fantasy stats.... yup, still applies. Not that I'm bitter because I didn't trust my instincts and wound up drafting him. Nope not at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fat Spanish Waiter Posted November 16, 2013 Share Posted November 16, 2013 But they played teams off a bye week! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kuetsar Posted November 16, 2013 Share Posted November 16, 2013 That bat would probably run the ball better than what you have. Now your just sounding silly. . . . I'm a Bills fan. . . . Hmm, let me check Spiller's fantasy stats.... yup, still applies. Not that I'm bitter because I didn't trust my instincts and wound up drafting him. Nope not at all. Well that your fault, as long as Freddy's there, they'll split time CJ would still start for 80 percent of the league. . . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vincey Greene Posted November 16, 2013 Share Posted November 16, 2013 That bat would probably run the ball better than what you have. Now your just sounding silly. . . . I'm a Bills fan. . . . Hmm, let me check Spiller's fantasy stats.... yup, still applies. Not that I'm bitter because I didn't trust my instincts and wound up drafting him. Nope not at all. Well that your fault, as long as Freddy's there, they'll split time CJ would still start for 80 percent of the league. . . . And be disappointing for 100% of them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jrag Posted November 16, 2013 Share Posted November 16, 2013 That bat would probably run the ball better than what you have. Now your just sounding silly. . . . I'm a Bills fan. . . . Hmm, let me check Spiller's fantasy stats.... yup, still applies. Not that I'm bitter because I didn't trust my instincts and wound up drafting him. Nope not at all. Well that your fault, as long as Freddy's there, they'll split time CJ would still start for 80 percent of the league. . . . He wouldn't crack a starting lineup in the NFC North. That's 12.5% right there. It was sort of admirable when you were arguing that the Bills would be 8-8, but this is just outright lunacy. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fat Spanish Waiter Posted November 16, 2013 Share Posted November 16, 2013 The Wrecking Krue showed up! Bah Gawd! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kuetsar Posted November 16, 2013 Share Posted November 16, 2013 That bat would probably run the ball better than what you have. Now your just sounding silly. . . . I'm a Bills fan. . . . Hmm, let me check Spiller's fantasy stats.... yup, still applies. Not that I'm bitter because I didn't trust my instincts and wound up drafting him. Nope not at all. Well that your fault, as long as Freddy's there, they'll split time CJ would still start for 80 percent of the league. . . . He wouldn't crack a starting lineup in the NFC North. That's 12.5% right there. It was sort of admirable when you were arguing that the Bills would be 8-8, but this is just outright lunacy. He starts for Green Bay and Detroit. . . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kuetsar Posted November 16, 2013 Share Posted November 16, 2013 I'm not saying he's been great this year, I'm not a mad man, but being banged up and not having a starting QB hasn't helped much. . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fat Spanish Waiter Posted November 16, 2013 Share Posted November 16, 2013 He doesn't replace Bush, Bush has been monstrous. Spiller is a bust. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jrag Posted November 16, 2013 Share Posted November 16, 2013 You're telling me a guy who can't catch or block well enough to beat out OLD FRED JACKSON is a starter for teams with actual QB's? Hard to believe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elizium Posted November 16, 2013 Share Posted November 16, 2013 He starts for Green Bay and Detroit. . . . I'm not sure he starts over Eddie Lacy. At best, he splits carries like he's already doing in Buffalo. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dogwelder Posted November 16, 2013 Share Posted November 16, 2013 Ok, 80% of 32 is 25.6. So let's round that up to 26. Here's 7 teams off the top of my head that Spiller wouldn't start for: Washington Philadelphia Minnesota Seattle San Francisco Denver Kansas City Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jrag Posted November 16, 2013 Share Posted November 16, 2013 This is fun. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fat Spanish Waiter Posted November 16, 2013 Share Posted November 16, 2013 But they played teams coming off a bye! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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