Grand Theft Auto V Talk.

[J.T.]

34 / 50 Stunt Jumps..

• 16 / 16 Miscellaneous at 25 Stunt Jumps!  I am one step closer to 100% Completion!
• Even though I am traveling all over the map to get to these things, at least I'm able to do them with either a motorcycle or a car.  It's not like GTA4 where you had to pray that the right boat would spawn at the right place so that you could do the water jumps on the river.
• You can literally burn an entire night's gaming hunting these damn things down.
• Only ran into two really nightmarish jumps last night:  the one where you jump into oncoming traffic from the northbound side of the Del Perro Freeway without skragging the underpass, and some crazy jump near Port of LS and Buccaneer Way where you had make some insane right turn to hit a ramp that was essentially a mound of dirt and hurdle all of the flyway lanes and land safely near the parking lot of the Port of LS.  I flipped enough cars out of pure bull headedness to figure out that I should use a fast motorcycle instead. .Franklin's garage is near by in Strawberry so it was no problem to go get the Vindicator... and make the jump on the first attempt with the new vehicle... Grrr....
• That jump over the abandoned motel in Sandy Shores can eat a bag of dicks.
• Did the stunt jump from the top of the parking garage near the tow truck yard.  Hit a police cruiser and killed a pedestrian when I landed.  That will get you two stars for sure..
• Thank God again for phones and quick saves done at stunt jump starting points.  Makes life a little easier.
• I have run into a couple of weird glitches now.  Sometimes when I reload a save with Franklin inside of a vehicle, he will spawn on foot and will immediately draw whatever weapon he has in the Machine Gun slot, which sucks when you're reloading to hit a jump located in the middle of nowhere.  I've also had Franklin's Special bar degrade back to Story Mode game start settings two times now.  No biggie since I can re-level it back to full in two or three stunt jumps, but it is pretty annoying.
• Most flips done in a vehicle.  Michael: 1.  Trevor: 3.  Frankin:  12.
• Most spins done in a vehicle.  Michael: 0.  Trevor: 2.  Frankling: 5..
• Highest jump performed in a vehicle:  Michael: 43.85 feet.   Trevor:  83.27 feet.  Franklin:  125.92 feet.
• Aw, I got Tanisha's phone call about her wedding while Franklin was evading the law.  I also go Davey's phone call after switching to Michael to finish leveling up his Driving skill in a fit of completionism.  GTA sure does love its epilogue material.

Mrs. Phillips is DONE!

• No wonder Trevor is fucked up.
• Not even a hint for where on this huge map the fucking van is located?  Seriously?  After 15 minutes of real life, I had to cheat and use the internets.
• If you switch back to Trevor after mission complete and the game auto switches you to Franklin, Trevor is still crying... and smoking meth....
• Fuck, The game could at least let me keep the van full of illegal meds for Trevor's garage.
• Yeah.  Maybe it would be a bad idea for Trevor to buy Hookies...

I'm at 96% Complete and three achievements away from platinum; remaining Heist DLC achievements not withstanding.

[RIPPA]

Real Talk - when Robert gets back in, if there is that large of a group again I will finally rebuy the game.

Someone tell Melraz to stop working so hard and get his ass back too

[Technico Support]

I played through this whole game when it came out without realizing there is a working set of huffing chemicals just outside Trevor's door.

[J.T.]

1 hour ago, Technico Support said:

I played through this whole game when it came out without realizing there is a working set of huffing chemicals just outside Trevor's door.

Yep, that is well documented...

I've hit that a few times as Trevor.  I was bummed that he didn't encounter anymore clowns.

Also, I have totally used the Big O orange to kill people..   It destroys unsuspecting trail bikers if you can get it rolling down the right path.

I don't send Michael to get high off of Jimmy's bong anymore.  The self-loathing is depressing.

[J.T.]

15 hours ago, AxB said:

Unless you're PetrolCB, who completed all the Stunt Jumps online. Show off.

I completed just enough stunt jumps in GTA Online to unlock the paint jobs at LSC and then I quit.  I enjoy being the getaway driver in missions because I'm fairly good at it, but some stunt jumps are infuriating without magical powers..

[AxB]

There was an old glitch where you could do Downtown Underground solo, and keeping going round in circles and doing the stunt jump that is part of that course over and over again, and it would count each one as a new stunt jump completion. I think that got taken out pretty quickly though.

[Cristobal]

18 hours ago, AxB said:

Some of those jumps down at the docks are nightmarish - there's on in particular which is basically impossible if you're not Franklin because you need a long run-up, but there's no straight run because there's a building in the way. So you need to make an exact turn at the exact right split second or you miss, and without Franklin's ability to slow down time, you're fucked.

Unless you're PetrolCB, who completed all the Stunt Jumps online. Show off.

I'm not certain because I give no fucks about trophies or completion, but my guess would be the newer cars on the newer gen consoles aid in that. The T20 is super-composed in turns, and accelerates rapidly out of them.

[jstout]

Ah, it's fun to fuck with people sometimes.

Rule 1 of this crew, whether it's one or seven of us: Do not go AFK without going into passive. Bad error.

I caught someone AFK and sent him from the pay and spray by the beach to the beach itself, whereabouts a large Beach Sniper Party (copyright the DVDR) broke out until he went into passive.

Later I was scrapping with some dude and here came his buddy in a jet. He was a VIP, so he activated some game where he went off the radar. Shot him anyway, then got killed by his buddy and threw it into passive. He sends me the generic taunting message, so I remind him that it was 2 on 1, buddy in a jet, him off radar. I somehow didn't think that was much of a fair fight, and as such, I had no reason to wage it. He seemed to be of the impression that I should just stand around and let them get their little jollies out? Pass.

[Robert C]

When I do finally get back to playing this, AFK players are probably gonna be the only ones I can handle.  Freemode is gonna be all level 3's Mary Louing me and pistol whipping me in the face.

To make things worse, I think I'm down to like $15K, so I can barely afford explosives.

[jstout]

We'll knock out a daily objective. That's $25,000, then sell some of your Sentinel XL stash for $14/$16,000. Hopefully you won't be like Dragon and not be able to pay your power bill.

I think it's a room thing. Every room I was in today was strangely docile. Earlier, one guy kept messaging me "team up," so I did and as soon as I went running after someone, he stayed behind. That's when I got into that 1 vs. 2 situation. I so wanted to see about 5 crew guys pile in to administer a deluxe asswhipping, but I settled for passive so he and his buddy couldn't get their little jollies.

 

[PetrolCB]

So, my friend Darwin ends up in Bad Sport yesterday morning. He stays in his current lobby, which means he's got a warrant on him until he lags out or he's done playing. Ends up summoning myself and Cristobal's "best friend" Skynet, wondering what to do. Somehow we're able to start a party chat and tunnel through the prison wall.

Turns out, spending thirty minutes of commending/baking a cake with a file in it breaks him out of the clink. Pretty awesome loophole in the Bad Sport sentence. Best of all, he got to keep his hat, which I never knew was different than the one on myself, being that it's spelled out. 

[AxB]

Apparently Rockstar are taking every GTA5 glitch tutorial off of youtube (not videos that show glitches happening, just videos that show how to do them). So maybe the game is going to get a bit more fair soon. 

[PetrolCB]

Good. I doubt that'll have an effect on those in the awful YouTube community. Although I couldn't care less about those dopes. Anyone who spends hours and hours to respawn a shitty car to fill up their garage, only to "dupe" a slightly less resellable car is an idiot. You can make it back killing bounties or doing other things like races, missions, heists and freeroam activities. 

All the power to them though. 

Those who are savvy enough to figure out these things and want to do them know that you can find out anything, sans-YouTube, from certain forums. Like 7Sins and (not often, because it's thankfully policed) GTA Forums. So, the glitches and whatnot will be around, but in a more forthright manner. For instance, that creator mode glitch I had mentioned a couple of pages ago. You didn't need a video for it. Figure out the strange mechanics and you can use it for personal gain and to be a dick. I did both, mostly the latter. 

In more positive news, this new Stunt Creator mode has birthed a great number of good Grand Prix style road courses. No bullshit, just straight races. You just have to narrow your picks to those that were made by actual racing crews, like NODO etc. 

[J.T.]

41 / 50 Stunt Jumps.

• Those Elysian Island trailer jumps can kiss my ass.  Go too slow, you fail.  Go too fast, you fail.  Don't thread the needle, you smash in the front of your car and fucking windshield cannon yourself into the Pacific or into the side of a building.
• The penchant for cars to twist the wrong way in mid-air at the worst possible time roasts my nuts..
• But you can't use a motorcycle for two or three of these jumps because they don't accelerate fast enough to hit the target space after a jump..
• However, there is one jump in the middle of that sequence that definitely requires a fast motorcycle since motorcycles are less likely to flip or spin after a ramp launch.
• I tapped out due to strikes after completing the last jump on Elysian Island.  The Charlie Murphy episode of UnSung Hollywood and Mr. Robot were contributing factors to me deciding to watch television instead of forging on.
• Quick Save definitely helps for these jumps as you are likely to total your stunt car even if you make the jump, or land in the water if you fuck up.
• Franklin is parked in front of LSA and ready for the next set of jumps.  Hopefully the machine gun / no-car glitch does not occur again.
• According to the Prima guide, I should be at 40 jumps, but my Stats say I've done 41.  I probably completed one of the jumps during a story mission eons ago and can't remember which one it was.  Oh well.
• EDIT:  Looking at the YouTube cheat video that shows the jumps completed in the order that they appear in the Prima strategy guide, I think I've done #44 (Palomino Avenue) before, and I think I did it when I used that route to escape from the cops after robbing the armored van that spawns in front of that shopping mall as a random event.
• Tonight is the last good opportunity for me to play for the week.  I have to pack when I get back to MD on Friday night because I am headed up to NYC early Saturday morning.for a friend's birthday weekend, and I won't get back in town until late Sunday evening.  When I get home, I'll crash early and have to get up at the crack of dawn on Monday morning for the weekly commute to the 804.  I'll start the assassination missions / stock market rigging stuff on Monday evening..

 

[J.T.]

I am old and nearsighted and dyslexic and pissed off. 

When I saw the Rockstar Newswire announcement for The Lab, I thought, "OH SHIT, A RADIO STATION WITH THE CHEMICAL BROTHERS AS DJ'S~!"

And then I saw that it just said The Chemical Bro....  Fuck...

Anyway, it is not an entirely horrible station, but it ain't no Vinewood Blvd. Radio, Radio Mirror Park, or Radio Los Santos..

[AxB]

 

[jstout]

I'm watching going "come on, man," when it occurs to me that not everyone has spent the better part of 3 years playing one got-dang vidja game.

I won't spoil it, but there's one part of the video (at about 7 minutes or so in) that made me laugh harder than I have in weeks.

[Robert C]

23 hours ago, PetrolCB said:

So, my friend Darwin ends up in Bad Sport yesterday morning. He stays in his current lobby, which means he's got a warrant on him until he lags out or he's done playing. Ends up summoning myself and Cristobal's "best friend" Skynet, wondering what to do. Somehow we're able to start a party chat and tunnel through the prison wall.

Turns out, spending thirty minutes of commending/baking a cake with a file in it breaks him out of the clink. Pretty awesome loophole in the Bad Sport sentence. Best of all, he got to keep his hat, which I never knew was different than the one on myself, being that it's spelled out. 

Weird.  I had to go back through this thread to find a picture of me with the dunce cap.  I only got a D as well.

[PetrolCB]

I guess they have different gender-based versions now. 

[J.T.]

I AM A SHOW OFF!

• I could've taken the over the freeway stunt jump during the Trevor S&E mission where he kidnaps Al Di Napoli with the old British couple, but one of the medal stips is to incur minimal damage to Nigel's car so I chose to stay in hot pursuit and not smash up the ride while chasing that asshole down.  It has been three years since I did that mission and I totally forgot about that stunt jump.
• It took three tries to do that jump.  Fucking low ass on-ramp.
• Yep, I had already done the Palomino Road jump.  It has always been my go to escape route for when I compulsively rob the armored car that spawns there every time it shows up.
• What have we learned?  If the ramp you have to use is a mound of dirt, use a motorcycle.  There are some jumps that you cannot fit a car through like The Jetty, so use a motorcycle.
• I made the two LSA jumps on the first attempts.  Color me surprised.
• The El Burro Heights jump is right by the Car Scrapyard so I bought the business and then completed the jump.  It was only $220K and I had $33 Million on me.
• I killed a pedestrian while doing the #47 Rockford Hills jump.  Poor lady.   She was on her phone when my bike was in decent and my wheels were at head level with her.  I only got a one star wanted level for the vehicular manslaughter.

Now it is time to profit from homicide.  I'll tackle that next Monday as I will be partying in NYC over the weekend. 

I'm glad I already got the Solid Gold achievement so that I don't have to worry about trying too hard to beat these last missions.  I just need to remember to invest my cash with every character BEFORE I go off to get my murder on.

[J.T.]

On ‎8‎/‎3‎/‎2016 at 11:41 AM, AxB said:

There was an old glitch where you could do Downtown Underground solo, and keeping going round in circles and doing the stunt jump that is part of that course over and over again, and it would count each one as a new stunt jump completion. I think that got taken out pretty quickly though.

That glitch worked for all of the stunt jumps until it got patched and forced you to find the other unique stunt jump locations in order for a completion to register..

I did the easy Rockford Hills galleria jump five times straight to unlock the last paint job before the patch hit.

[J.T.]

11 hours ago, AxB said:

 

LMS is pretty tough.  I think it was the only deathmatch mode where I was fairly decent and consistently in the Top 3 killer slots. 

I was very streaky in the other modes:  I'd have a run of good matches and then I'd have to claw my way out of the cellar.

[PetrolCB]

I soooo want to run into Woods and his friends in a lobby one day. 

[J.T.]

I can't imagine he goes into general pop all that often.  Maybe once or twice for episodes sake and then back to crew only, friend only, or invite only lobbies.

There are way too many griefers out there.... like us... for him to mess around too much in free mode.

[jstout]

Watching him deal with griefers is half the fun.

One guy was like an amateur griefer - I would've stuck his shiny supercar so far up his ass surgery would've been required - but Woods would've at least needed heat-seeking missiles to take the guy down a peg. I think if Woods and his gang actually got semi-good at online, it would take away all of the fun of them flailing around.