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Still blue. Still recuperating. Still too lazy to go into the basement. Still sad that wrestling companies want to keep making shows in Pandemika. A real gov't would be leading, not making things potentially worse. Ah, well...


Bought me some Zubaz

but took the coward's way out:

Black-on-black zebra.


Lawler liked monsters

and comics and Elvis, too.

He booked to his strengths.


It all comes down to

thee Hot Tag - The kids don't know.

Watch some Mid-South tapes.


My fave Rick Rude sell

was the sore buttocks dance from

an Atomic Drop.



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We are rolling now, cats.


Wrestling Machine -

new category to nerd on.

Thank you, Mr. Dean.


French Catch?!? Sacre bleu!

Where has this been all my life?

Vive le frog graps!


Jerry Graham ruined

it for the kids, with the blade.

MSG riot.


There once was a Sudani named Abbie,

who may appear to be a bit flabby,

but give him a fork

and some jobber dork,

and soon we will all see him get stabby.



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(To the tune of a song by our greatest poet, William Joel.) 

Eric Bischoff’s dyed hair

Number 3 not fair to Flair

Toots Mondt, Akbar

Dunn’s dad’s burning car 

King Race’s headbutt

Disco Inferno weight cut

Chief Jay Strongbow chop

Gorilla asking Brain to stop 

Champ retains in a tie 

There’s lust in Hogan’s eyes


Dave Taylor was The Squire 

He tagged with Steve Regal

That move can’t be legal

Dave’s nosering pulled with pliers

That gold must weigh ten pounds 

Keep Lawler out of playgrounds 







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It ain't

the Dog's fault. 

His mother was carryin' him

through the desert 




and left him


to die.

He crawled the 


burning sands

and the she-wolf 





It's not 

the Dog's 



It's okay it's okay it's okay


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Tully Blanchard knew

where the ropes were at all times.

Shrewd ring general.


Lawler's back yard was

Kamala's debut jungle,

then he served hot dogs.


Arcane carny lore

whispered drunkenly to me:

"it's freaks, geeks, and sheiks".


Jeff Hardy

Girls love mall punk look,

sacrificial ring lamb boy.

Walker by fifty?


"Big Van Vader how

do you fit on the toilet" -

a 9 year old's sign.


(circa 2004)


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Mr, Referee,

you have a midget biting

your rump. High antics!


Grand Wizard performed

his morning ablutions:

stretch smoke shave tea laugh.


The Jock's eyes bugged out

and a warm stain spread out from

his crotch: sugar hold.



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Xanta Klaus climbed up

his black sleigh and flew Northward.

Bags of broken toys.


Old wrestling program,

winners circled, subs noted.

2 bucks on eBay.


Ian Rotten had

me glue his cuts shut because

I wasn't (as) drunk.



The order of skull

hardness was an archaic

construct, so unwoke.



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Mr.Fuji bows,

inscrutably smiling.

Salt inside waistband.


"U.S.A.!" chants give

energy to the baby

(from Canada - HA!).


The squared circle

is not a place for cowards

or mollycoddles'


(for Phil Irwin) (2004)


The dignity of

Sailor Art Thomas, the voice

of Ladd: fuck the man!


Ox Baker's false teeth

were a better gimmick than

DX, for me (true).





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