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The All Things HORROR thread~!

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Ex Machina is now playing at the Art in town so I'm gonna support my local co-op when it comes out there instead of going to the IMAX theater it's playing at right now. Maybe inconvenient in timing, but screw it, I gotta go with my peoples!

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Blood Games - Click is a pretty good short:

 

 

Still Life is predictable, but rather good too:

 

 

And finally, The Separation:

 

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This looks shockingly graphic for MTV.

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There is no haunted house problem that can't be solved with arson.

 

And there is always U-Haul.. 

 

Black people and our timely, "Fuck it.  We're leaving" reflex forced Hollywood to come up with all of that THE EVIL FOLLOWS YOU bullshit we've seen in recent horror movies like Paranormal Activity and The Conjuring.

 

Finally, some director asked himself Eddie Murphy's immortal question: "Yeah, why do white people stay when there is a ghost in the house?"

 

Partly why I liked Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones  was that the lead Hispanic guy was essentially the opposite of all the idiotic suburbanites we've seen so far in this franchise.

 

"Hey, maybe we should go down there (the scary apartment) and explore?"

 

"Explore!? What are we, Sherlock Holmes?"

 

Hector knew not to mess with that shit from the get go.

 

Oh, and we finally get someone in these movies doing some real damage to this evil witch coven by smartly recruiting some gun-toting gang members before heading out to confront them.

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I enjoyed Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones. 

 

Or as I call it, The Mexorcist.

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I thought I was the only one that called it that.

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I forgot about the part where the guy says, "What are we, Sherlock Holmes?" and he pronounces "holmes" cholo style.  Laughed my ass off at that.

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One of the only times in my life I ever damn near burst into applause in a movie theatre was when the gang member started shooting all those coven members with his shotgun and blowing them to hell.

 

Yes: after all these movies of the protagonists doing damn near nothing to stop the bad guys  finally someone was fighting back.

 

Ofifcial petition to bring back Hector and Arturo. They're the modern day Ash from Evil Dead.

 

And it was left kind of ambigious so it IS possible....

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Wow, I find I have shockingly strong feelings about Hector being the lead babyface of the Paranormal Acitvity series.

 

He's the horror movie version of Daniel Bryan.

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Thanks to you, Reed, I feel like I need to check out that movie.

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Good. Rejoice in the awesomeness that is HECTOR~!, goofy Hispanic teen that just wanted to hang out with his friend and lust after hot naked chicks and didn't expect all these witches and ghosts and demons to come into his life.

 

But yet is still smart enough to know you need a bunch of bad ass gang members with guns when you are going after an all-powerful, evil coven who are secretly planning world domination.

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Hadn't heard about this before just now.  It's playing in one theatre here.  Reviews indicate it's skippable though.

 

 

The trailer for Sinister 2 doesn't look great either.  A little too much pulling back the curtain on the mythology for me.

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This is getting called "horror" though it seems more horror in the way Shaun of the Dead is considered horror

 

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Hadn't heard about this before just now.  It's playing in one theatre here.  Reviews indicate it's skippable though.

 

 

We will never get a decent Slender Man movie.  Mike Diva's "Proxy" is the closest we'll get.

 

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We Are Still Here should see a wide US release starting June 5th.

 

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Clown finally got a wide release trailer.

 

 

Normally, Eli Roth's self indulgence is a deal breaker for me, but I find myself needing to check this out.

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Cary Fukunaga's adaptation of Stephen King's "IT!" has been shitcanned.

 

This makes me sad.  Fukunaga was going in the right direction. If this ever sees the light of day in theaters, we'll get a version that is under two hours for the ADHD crowd and it will be crap.

 

Netflix or Amazon needs to pick up the two-parter project.

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My copy of The Borderlands comes in on Sunday.

 

 

Reviews once I have a suitable place to watch it in the new crib.

 

The Borderlands was pretty fucking good.   The ending has to be seen to be believed.  What a great concept!

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Saw IT FOLLOWS at the Byrd "Ow! My heinie!" Theater Saturday night with the 15 year old.  Scared the crud out of us.  It was great.

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Saw IT FOLLOWS at the Byrd "Ow! My heinie!" Theater Saturday night with the 15 year old.  Scared the crud out of us.  It was great.

 

I saw this during the limited release and really enjoyed it.  US finally cracked the code on what made J-Horror angry ghost movies so awesome and tailored the formula to western culture.

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Saw IT FOLLOWS at the Byrd "Ow! My heinie!" Theater Saturday night with the 15 year old.  Scared the crud out of us.  It was great.

 

I saw this during the limited release and really enjoyed it.  US finally cracked the code on what made J-Horror angry ghost movies so awesome and tailored the formula to western culture.

 

The giantest plot hole was the gal not instantly shooting the guy who gave her curse when they finally found him.

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The biggest plot hole for me was the couple in peril using Wile E Coyote tactics to combat the entity.  The use of mundane means to kill a supernatural being left me scratching my head.

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Saw a back to back screening of the original Poltergeist that was followed by the remake at Alamo Drafthouse. Seeing the remake right after the original did not do it any favors...

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The biggest plot hole for me was the couple in peril using Wile E Coyote tactics to combat the entity.  The use of mundane means to kill a supernatural being left me scratching my head.

Oh there were a bunch but then I stopped dwelling on them and dug the moody horror.  I'm trying to find a good moment to throw a rubber ball against a window that my daughter is walking by. 

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Saw a back to back screening of the original Poltergeist that was followed by the remake at Alamo Drafthouse. Seeing the remake right after the original did not do it any favors...

 

It really does strike me as a shot for shot remake with modern bits thrown in to combat the 80's cultural references.

 

it also does not help that scary para-psychologist dude in the trailer has to pretty much spell what the ghosts are capable of in as dramatic of a voice as he can muster up in order for audiences to appreciate what is coming..  

 

The thing that made the original such a masterpiece is that you had no fucking clue what was going to happen and no one felt the need to explain what was going on.  It was better that way.

 

When I saw this in the theaters:

 

poltergeist2.jpg

 

I nearly shit my pants.

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