J.T.

The All Things HORROR thread~!

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Scary shit goes here!

 

Mike Diva does it again.  Here is the best C'thulu short story that Lovecraft forgot to write.

 

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Asian horror is not dead.

 

 

 

There's lots of good shit at Doghouse73's channel.  It is the best Youtube horror stuff not named BlackboxTV Presents.

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The best thing I saw at the 2013 After Dark Horrrorfest was barely over ten minutes long.

 

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I watched 2002 Japanese horror movie Suicide Club for the first time.

 

This film may have one of the best openings of any horror I've ever seen. Holy crap.

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The Babadook and A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night are both streaming on netflix instant right now. I think they are two of the more well regarded horror movies in the past few years, so they are worth checking out even if they turn out to not be your thing. 

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I just watched The Babadook yesterday and while I must admit I found the main characters abrasive at the start, by the end I was rooting for both of them to survive.

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I remember seeing that movie and thinking the child actor was terrific. The mom too.

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I believe this got posted in the Halloween Horror thread, but here's Oculus Chapter 3

 

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Might as well stick this here: how was Deliver Us From Evil? My asst. manager brought it up tonight (his question being "do you like scary movies?" which was hilarious to me) and he explained the trailer, with the owl doll. After watching it I think it might be an exorcism movie I could get into.

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It was really disappointing.  Sorry, I watched it so long ago that I can't remember specifics, just that it was definitely not good.  It strays from the "true story" as well, as the cop in the movie is not religious at all and converts after the exorcism.  In the book, he's super duper religious and stays a cop while pursuing "the work" on the side.

 

On a side not, I started to read the book that this film is based on and just had to put it down.  There were three possible conclusions to be made from this guy's tales and none of them were favorable.  Either:

 

Ghosts, demons, etc are all real and this is a 100% true account (unlikely)

 

or

 

This guy and every single person whose homes he exorcised are all insane

 

or

 

This whole book is a work

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Whoa, check this out. From the makers of Found. SUPER DUPER NSFW

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The Babadook is fucking awesome.  Anyone who hasn't seen it yet should be ASHAMED~!

 

All of you also need to check out Afflicted.  It is the best possible pastiche of Chronicle, Highlander, and Dracula, Prince of Darkness that you could hope for.

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I was really, really, really disappointed when I first watched The Babadook. I had heard nothing but amazing things about it, how it was the best horror movie in decades etc. Going in with that mindset was the most terrible thing I could have done. I just absolutely hated it -- because I expected a blood-curdling horror movie. I understood the story and whatnot, but I was fixed in the horror mindset, so I just hated it.

 

Second viewing, without that obstacle, and I loved it. Absolutely loved it.

 

Of course, that still leaves the gaping hole in my soul that's craving for trouser-shitting, ass-spraying-mayhem horror.

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Of course, that still leaves the gaping hole in my soul that's craving for trouser-shitting, ass-spraying-mayhem horror.

 

There are attempts, but there's nothing that will trump Texas Chainsaw or Alien. As a horror nut I have accepted that and moved on to whatever is new and good because movies don't scare and rarely disturb me anymore. In fact there are more disturbing dramas than horror films these days...

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The Babadook is strong psychological horror.  And when thinking about the ending, it makes me sad and fearful:

 

The Babadook represents Amelia's feelings for her dead husband and blaming Samuel's birth for that tragedy.  So it's no surprise the the creature takes on the form of the husband in the final act. 

 

What's scary is that Amelia's feelings aren't gone--they're merely buried deep in the basement/her mind.  That feelings of blame toward Samuel are still there.  And when those repressed feelings erupt again--and they surely will--Samuel may not be so lucky. We can almost be certain that it will end badly the next time. It has a very Edgar Allan Poe/Fall of the House of Usher quality in where an outside factor represents a fraying mind.  But instead of a sister buried alive, we have a mother who will likely kill her young child.

 

That's a terrifying thought.

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Whoa, check this out. From the makers of Found. SUPER DUPER NSFW

 

I bought this from the crew who made it.....saw them set up at a horror convention. 

 

I don't want to talk bad about it overall because they were SUPER nice people and really happy to be getting this film out there. 

 

But it's basically a loose plot that's secondary to repeated scenes of extreme gore and disturbing moments.  And that's fine if you're into that.  I'm not AGAINST that myself.   I just hoped for more of a movie rather than just disturbing gore over and over.  I didn't hate it, but I watched it, and can't imagine sitting down and putting it back in to watch it again.  It just isn't interesting enough for repeated viewings, for my taste. 

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Did it at least have an ending? Even if not I don't really care though, if I'm drunk enough it'll be a fine watch. And since I bet you've seen Found how was that?

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BLACULA IS ON RIGHT NOW! I still haven't seen it, though I loved Scream Blacula Scream. Missed the first 15 minutes of this but I'll do a little review in real time, what the hell. This will probably only be interesting to anyone who has seen the film but I don't care.

 

Okay, I don't understand why two corpses go to the coroner, don't get embalmed or have an autopsy with deaths under circumstances that a doctor decides to investigate himself, and are shuffled off to the funeral home immediately. Maybe because it was an interracial gay couple? Nice subtext if so. Poor William H. Marshall played Othello on the stage and now he's... Blacula. The tough female cab driver is great and I'm surprised she didn't pull a straight razor out of her boot on Blacula. Not that it would have done any good! Oh man there's Elijah Cook Jr. in the late phase of his alcoholism, his face looking like a ripe tomato. Well, I guess the subtext was correct, pretty cool. Obligatory Blaxploitation Club/Dance Scene #164. Blacula wears his cape to the club and that isn't as absurd as what most others are wearing... and then some pimp ass dude sits down and both drinks his champagne and says he wants to sport the cape! I'm starting to enjoy this. "You ain't gettin this nigga in no graveyard, not tonight"... yeah no shit, try to get a black woman (shit, anyone) to do that in real life! I like the psychology of not being invited into the relationship being the parallel of not being invited into the home in vampire lore. There is also the first instance of actual vampire sex ever. And we have Obligatory Blaxploitation Club/Dance Scene #165! Oh man the sleazy dude's name is BIG SKILLET. That's the best. "No Mamawalde please don't hurt him!" is way better than "Hammer please don't hurt 'em!" Jesus the cops just said "all fags look alike". It was a different era, sadly. They go down to the warehouse and it's like, you guys can't find the fuckin lightswitch? Of course the whole vampire crew is down there and attack en masse and they're like zombies that can leap at you. The resulting scene after the Zombi 2 firebomb ending is any abused friend's best male and female friend cornering them about their shithead boyfriend  Afterwards though Blacula cuts that similarity with his love for his woman coming down to making her a vampire while dying from being shot and telling the cops that this is their "imperious tomb" in Marshall's perfect Shakespearean diction. They have to hold the sister back watching hers die and her reaction is spot on. Then Blacula straight up COMMITS SUICIDE by walking into the sunlight. It might be one of the shittiest vampire disintegrations ever but what the hell, the film was pretty good all said. I like the sequel better for its more insane and baroque qualities (and Pam Grier of course), but this was solid in my book with some things that were innovative in '72 and Marshall just being the man.

 

Okay well that was long. Understood if you don't want to read it, but if you do, it's best if you've seen it before or after, and if you're feeling froggy during. It's playing again tomorrow on (of course) Encore Black late afternoon if you wanna watch or DVR it. 

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The best thing about Blacula is that despite black people's superior common sense when it comes to monsters.  WE STILL DECIDE THE BEST TIME TO KILL A VAMPIRE IS AT NIGHT~!

 

The worst thing about Blacula is that you can probably blame us for the Twilight saga since this is one of the first times a vampire is presented as a misunderstood and sympathetic creature..  Blacula takes a lot of cues from Shakespeare and you can probably thank William Marshall's classical acting background for that.. 

 

Mamuwalde is a very tragic figure; he gives up his humanity in exchange for the power to defend his subjects from slavers and loses the love of his life twice. 

 

A great character lost in the haze of blaxploitation.  The mind boggles at what a horror classic that Blacula could really have been if they'd kept the story, changed the name, and played the vampire angle straight instead of going for the campy Dracula references.

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 despite black people's superior common sense when it comes to monsters. 

 

"Yeah, I'm a man and shit...I tried to change the channels, shit didn't work, I got the fuck out."

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I honestly believe the whole Black People Die First In Horror Movies meme came as a result of Hollywood's retaliation at Eddie Murphy for that bit.

 

Crimson Peak is going to rule.

 

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Black people simply don't mess around when it comes to ghosts, monsters, and haunted houses.  Curiosity killed the cat, but it didn't kill basic deductive skills. Get up and leave is the name of that game.  No black person worth their membership card is going to die like that.

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There is no haunted house problem that can't be solved with arson.

 

And there is always U-Haul.. 

 

Black people and our timely, "Fuck it.  We're leaving" reflex forced Hollywood to come up with all of that THE EVIL FOLLOWS YOU bullshit we've seen in recent horror movies like Paranormal Activity and The Conjuring.

 

Finally, some director asked himself Eddie Murphy's immortal question: "Yeah, why do white people stay when there is a ghost in the house?"

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My copy of The Borderlands comes in on Sunday.

 

 

Reviews once I have a suitable place to watch it in the new crib.

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Finally got around to watching Unfriended after I needed a little me time yesterday afternoon after the GF and I had a small spat over some bullshit (Never fear, we made up this morning before I came to work.).

 

While I like the idea of a horror film with Millennial angst built in, The Den is a slightly more satisfying terror tech hybrid than this movie.  i can recommend Unfriended with slight reservations. 

 

Oh, and get your ass to a theater and go see Ex Machina right this minute.  INSTANT CLASSIC~!

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