Grand Theft Auto V Talk.

[jstout]

I have never given a fully modded Turismo an honest drive. I just knew it was sorta compariable to the Entity for a lot less money, but I had an Entity, so what did I need a Turismo for? I thought it would be a great option for a starting player saving up for their first Super car. 

 

I think the Zentorno handles better than the Entity, which I have because it handles better than the Adder. Does the Turismo handle better than the Entity? Then it becomes more of a pissing contest over which is faster.

 

Also, on a semi-related but yet related tangent: I had to go out, so I stopped by a Game Stop to get another headset. There's nothing really between the $20 price range and the $50 price range, so I got a $20 headset. I don't wanna spend $50 on a headset. I sure as hell ain't spending $200 on a headset, which you can do.

 

My observation, and please tell me if this is nationwide, or regional:

 

I don't go in GameStop much at all. I actually have very few games. But here's what I notice when I go in: 

 

The dudes who are working there are the biggest dorks in the history of civilization, and the chicks are always uncommonly, exotically, coolly hot. I would've ate ground glass for the chick who sold me my headset today if she'd asked - she was tremendous.

 

So if the dudes are always dorks, why are the chicks always hot? Shouldn't the chicks be dorks, too?

[J.T.]

Moongirl just sent me a message.  She thinks the Bullpup Rifle has a bug.  She's downloaded High Life, bought the Bullpup Rifle, and has been in two gang attacks. 

 

She's not sure but she thinks that the NPC kills in the Gang Attacks iarecouinting as player kills contributing to her Assault Rifle medal (Looking Down the Barrel). 

 

It doesn't look like the NPC kills are contributing to total player kills (The Widow Maker) or your overall K/D ratio.

 

Can you lucky bastards that are gaming right now confirm this?

[melraz09]

I actually just turned it back on jt. If I don't get to shootin at lil white and red dots I'll check.

[The Man Known as Dan]

The only time a crate has dropped in my game ever - was a crew only session.

 

But there were like 8 people in it and it dropped right at Dolfan's feet

 

So what you're saying that if a special crate drops in our closed crew session, I can count on having to shoot either Dan or Dolfan or both of them if I want to get to the crate because it will turn into a competition.

Yeah, no.

 

I'm the cat, you're the dog.   My crate.

 

I have a Rhino and a Buzzard just like you so if that is how it is then,

 

As someone with none of those, but with a total lack of an ability to give a fuck, I welcome all challengers.

[J.T.]

The dudes who are working there are the biggest dorks in the history of civilization, and the chicks are always uncommonly, exotically, coolly hot. I would've ate ground glass for the chick who sold me my headset today if she'd asked - she was tremendous.

 

So if the dudes are always dorks, why are the chicks always hot? Shouldn't the chicks be dorks, too?

 

This is a new phenomenon.  I used to work at a Gamestop and while I am a nerd, I am not a socially awkward dork.

 

Gamestop used to hire gamers who could talk about games, but quickly discovered that gamers could not always talk shop about the various tech support questions you get asked on the sales floor, so they switched to tech nerds as the preferable salespeson profile.

 

A blessing and a curse because true power dorks are far more socially clubfooted than the typical gamer.

 

The women I have worked with at Gamestop have not always been hot, but nerds and dorks have have remarkably low standards.   Gamstop likes to focus on having tech-savvy staff and not to sound racist, but I have noticed that were a lot of Asian women on the payroll, (I include the Indian sub-continent in there when I say Asia) and we all know that a dork will trip the fuck out over a woman with exotic looks...

 

Not every girl from an exotic local is attractive though.  I have seen many ugly Japanese girls in my day.

 

Anwaym, we used to have this chubby redhead girl (Irish / Scottish, I think.  Excellent personal skills and sales ability and a very sweet person in general.) working for us that wasn't exactly a looker, but she was cute enough to not make you regret the decision to go hoggin' so to speak.

 

She would get asked out for dates at least five times in a six hour shift.  I am baffled, yet not baffled as to why this happened.

[melraz09]

Ah hell never mind I've already maxed that one out. But they aren't countin in k/d ratio.

[J.T.]

 

 

 

 

The only time a crate has dropped in my game ever - was a crew only session.

 

But there were like 8 people in it and it dropped right at Dolfan's feet

 

So what you're saying that if a special crate drops in our closed crew session, I can count on having to shoot either Dan or Dolfan or both of them if I want to get to the crate because it will turn into a competition.

Yeah, no.

 

I'm the cat, you're the dog.   My crate.

 

I have a Rhino and a Buzzard just like you so if that is how it is then,

 

As someone with none of those, but with a total lack of an ability to give a fuck, I welcome all challengers.

 

 

I'm sure you do.  I am not looking forward to being an adversary, but I will prove to be a worthy one.  I'm not going to be an ass about it, though.

 

If anyone wants the Crate that bad, I'm inclined to let you go get it.

 

No game data is worth friction with crew.

[odessasteps]

A subgenre of "sports hot" "nerd hot" etc?

I notices when playing in the party that the echoing was back. Not sure who was reaponsible. I think before it was phil.

[RIPPA]

Yeah - I had no problems when it was just us or me, you and JT.

 

It sometimes shows up with Chris - depending on if his Kinect is acting up.

 

It also sometimes shows up when mis is in the room but that is usually a sign his connection is about to crap out

[J.T.]

A subgenre of "sports hot" "nerd hot" etc?

 

Nerd hot means hearbeat and functioning brain activity, man.  DARPA guys are just happy to have contact with the opposite sex during working hours in a professional setting. 

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gw-Amu4IGW4

 

A date couuld be overwhelming. 

 

You don't want to see DARPA guys who have been served by a cute waitress figure out how much of a tip to leave.   The computation schema becomes mindboggling.

[Robert C]

 

A subgenre of "sports hot" "nerd hot" etc?

 

Nerd hot means hearbeat and functioning brain activity, man.  DARPA guys are just happy to have contact with the opposite sex during working hours in a professional setting. 

 

A date couuld be overwhelming. 

 

You don't want to see DARPA guys who have been served by a cute waitress figure out how much of a tip to leave.   The computation schema becomes mindboggling.

 

 

Presumably they didn't do anything except study in college, and there ain't usually exactly a bunch of hot women in engineering/physics classes.  For some reason, there weren't a lot of sorority girls in my Fourier Optics or Linear Transform Theory classes.

[melraz09]

When this crew fight takes place I wanna sit in the apartment watch it on tv and give commentary.

[melraz09]

Me and Chris whipped all day except for the span in which he was just whippin ass against me on the tennis court. Mizz joined and the ass whippin continued. Did a few of the new missions. For some reason they aint under my job list to start but mizz can. Oh well glad I gotta try a few. But the one thing I'm glad of is my armor can still be full without physically wearin the armor. Hopefully will be back on tonight of work don't call. Aahhhhh the joys of bein back on call. I've had my phone on silent most of last week for vacation. If it wasn't for work I doubt I'd even have a cell phone.

[misanthrope304]

The echo could most definitely be me.  Sometimes I forget to turn the volume down on the tv and my turtle beach's broadcast it.

[J.T.]

I now have a minigun.

 

Ho.  Ho.  Ho..

 

Street combat with the Night Shift got me within two XP blocks of getting my next rank and a quick round of Golf this morning (One Eagle and another near Hole In One on Six) while watching 24 on Fox OnDemand pushed me over to 120.

 

I got a bonus 800 RP from the Buy Every Gun platinum medal, so you don't have to have every firearm in your inventory to get it as reported in the GTA forums:  you just have to have bought every available gun over the course of your criminal career.

 

Nice to see that I wasn't screwed out of the medal because I never bought the Gusenberg Sweeper.

 

Also, WE ARE NOT ROLE MODELS~!

 

Had some kid named TrainingSkate bogart his way into our chat session after being shot by DVDR crew memebers a number of times.   We declared him off limits for a while, but then his screeching became unbearable and RUkered booted him from our chat.

 

Heel turns went down and the DVDR Iron Legion was mobilized after some player named SugarlessComb decided to bring in a Rhino.  It was not pretty.  I think I blew up TraningSkate at least four times in my own tank in the course of going after SugarlessComb. At one point we had four tanks patrolling the beach.

 

I'll give Training Skate this though.  Little dude knew how to handle a fighter jet.

 

We had to abandon the session because no one would come to fight us.  Players were either in Passive Mode, leaving the server, or waiting in their apartments for the explosions to stop. 

 

My Unsporting% is now at a record high 44%.

 

Mental state is currently Unstable but it was as high as Deranged during the height of the culling.

[AxB]

So first the Undertaker's streak ends. And then Arsenal win something. But in between the far more impressive streak of me never losing in Paintball ended (It was 1 vs 1 vs 1; The third guy left fearing for his K/D ratio; Cris won by being a lucky coward).

 

But then last night, I was doing it again with randoms, locked and pickups. Me (231) and a level 60 vs a level 80 and a level 19. I bet big. My partner goes 0-4, I say 'Bloody hell my partner sucks' and he rage quits. So now it's 2 vs 1 against me, and we're in the hole 2-6. And I can catch up to make it 9-9, and they get a lucky spawn and I'm behind. We go kill for kill a bit, then I get a good position and get ahead 13-12, and they get a lucky spawn and a couple of double teams. They get to 20-18, five minutes left and first to 25 wins. Tie it up at 21-21. They get up to 24-22. One minute left. I shoot at nothing to give away my location, one takes the bate and moves in, 24-23. Thirty second left, blips visible. I move out of cover and advance. One pops up and catches a bullet to the brain. 24-24. The other comes out of cover and we exchange, I roll, he doesn't. 25-24. "YES! YES! FUCKING HAVE THAT YOU BITCHES! DEATHMATCH LEGEEEEEEND!!".

[J.T.]

I also paid the price of arrogance last night.  We ran Rippa's race and I took a jump with impunity knowing that the "surprise" did not explode.

 

The ammo boxes near the "surprise" however, were filled with live ammo and did indeed explode. 

 

Fuck.

 

I did not die but the resulting damage to my car cost me two spots.  By the time I respawned, I had to fight just to get third place.

 

Also,  I think Rippa has fallen in love with his Heavy Sniper rifle.  He may give it a name..

[RIPPA]

This works well enough

 

[J.T.]

Last night's crazy shit with the DVDR Iron Legion made me remember another song to put on Jstout's unofficial GTA Online soundtrack.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZbF3yCB6WXQ

 

So far the track listings:

 

Hand On The Pump - Cypress Hill

Tank - LSD

When The Man Comes Around - Johnny Cash

[J.T.]

This works well enough

 

 

Yeah, I cannot allow you or Mis to get any range on me in deathmatches.  Assault Shotgun at close range it is.

 

Speaking of Deathmatches, I spawned outside of the Golf Course alot on Mark's map.  That didn't happen that much before.  Maybe because I used to die by the clubhouse so much...

[odessasteps]

I spawned outside the fence three times during the deathmatch. You can still shoot or be shot through the fence. I think 2 of JT's 9 kills on me were through the fence.

[J.T.]

I spawned outside the fence three times during the deathmatch. You can still shoot or be shot through the fence. I think 2 of JT's 9 kills on me were through the fence.

 

This is a true statement.  Chris also got me from Hole 9 when I was outside of the fence.

[jstout]

The carnage continued with the night shift. Mel, Robert and I killed one poor dude who was in there with three other crew members who weren't rushing to their boy's aid at all. He finally grabbed a tank in a fit of butthurt and THEN all of his buddies came around and started complicating our lives as we were trying to take the tank out. His tank eventually got blown up and all of his buddies abandoned him again. Robert offered him a Simeon i/e motorcycle in the most blatant setup in the game's history and he STILL took it.

 

If a guy who's killed you about 23 times drives up to you slowly in a Simeon motorcycle and offers no resistance as you shoot him, wouldn't you think everything isn't quite on the level?

 

At one point, we were hunkered down and killin' everything that made a run on us - it was like we were kings of the mountain and no one was pushing us off the hill. Guy in a car to the left? Gone. Guy coming up behind us? Gone. 

 

Then Mel leaves, half the server leaves and it's me and Robert against some dude who begs off the fight and heads south. So there's a guy WAY up north near that tip-top pay and spray. So I go to the hospital and find LE BUZZ-ARD~! and head his way. I'm flying over him and he goes in the pay and spray. This should've been clue 1 that this wasn't exactly Seasoned GTA gamer. He comes out in his lil' Speed Buggy and eats an RPG.

 

I then proceed to just bat him around with my Heavy Sniper until he goes into passive. By this time, Fireman Robert's hit the scene, and this dude has problems aplenty. We must have killed him 20 times in passive before he FINALLY gave up and left. At one point, he got in a Buzzard with Robert (so Robert stopped in front of me and I sniped the dude) and a car with me (so I cooked us with a grenade).

 

Robert, at one point, managed to land a fire truck upside down on a train, and then got it off the train when it stopped. By the end, he was driving around on two tires. The cops were far from pleased with our behavior.

 

The dude needed to learn the No. 1 lesson of GTA Online: Our server, dammit. You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here. It's loser leave town, and you're the loser. Don't bother putting on a mask and coming back as the Midnight Rider.

[Robert C]

Guys, GTA is hard when you've only got one arm, and everybody is picking on you.

 

melraz, Stout, and I ran into one of the dumbest players ever to disgrace GTA last night after I got back on.  It was the three of us and one other guy in a server when a Simeon motorcycle popped up.  I grabbed it, applied the traditional ignition bomb surprise, and drove it right over to the guy.  We'd been killing him up and down the map, and I was absolutely certain he wouldn't fall for my little surprise.  I was wrong though.  He hopped right on the bike after shooting me.

[J.T.]

The carnage continued with the night shift. Mel, Robert and I killed one poor dude who was in there with three other crew members who weren't rushing to their boy's aid at all. He finally grabbed a tank in a fit of butthurt and THEN all of his buddies came around and started complicating our lives as we were trying to take the tank out. His tank eventually got blown up and all of his buddies abandoned him again. Robert offered him a Simeon i/e motorcycle in the most blatant setup in the game's history and he STILL took it.

 

If a guy who's killed you about 23 times drives up to you slowly in a Simeon motorcycle and offers no resistance as you shoot him, wouldn't you think everything isn't quite on the level?

 

Melraz and I pulled this out of the bag of tricks on some poor kid at the airport.  I drove up in a booby trapped Simeon I/E Vehicle (An Ocelot 620!) and parked it right in front of him. 

 

Why doesn't it occur to this guy that the reason we have ceased fire is because we want him to try to drive off in the car bomb?

 

[Mandarin voice]

 

Some people call us terrorists.  We consider ourselves to be teachers.

 

Lesson One: Never accept anything the enemy offers you.

 

[/Mandarin voice]

 

That shit is Sun Tzu / Art of War 101.

 

Guys, GTA is hard when you've only got one arm, and everybody is picking on you.

 

Oh, shit.  I forgot about poor TrainingSkate's announcement that he had hand surgery.

 

Me:  Melraz, why are you attacking the poor kid?  He only has one working hand.

 

Melraz:  Shit, how was I supposed to know that?  Fuck that kid.