DEAN Posted May 30, 2014 Share Posted May 30, 2014 DRIVERETTE 5302014 DVDVR172 is set to launch any minute now. I don't if this will be in 172 or 173. Either way, BEHOLD, THE PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING! @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@SINGLES ##############################GOING $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$STEADY ------------------------------------- $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ WORLD WRESTLING CONCIL- TERRY FUNK vs RICK MARTEL- 9/20/2014: This match is awesome for the simple reason that it is every single example of goofball schtickt that Terry funk does in the body of his matches- but all in one place. It starts with Funk getting his hat stomped on by Martel- a variation on my all time favorite Funk Hat Bits where Lee Scott grabs Funk's hat, puts it on and does a hillbilly dance- thus allowing Funk a REASON to to just beat the hell out of Lee Scott. Here. it's more to get Martel over with the PR rubes. And it works. The body of the match is a lot like the body of the Barry Windham match from a year earlier- Funk flailing around and spazzing out to everything. Funk sells to the back of the building to the near-comical punches by Martel and goes even broader with the head pounding into the top turn buckle. He flops around, gets his branding iron, yells at the crowd- it's really just elaborate stalling. It's a quarter way through when they finally lock up- Funk goes on the offensive and body slams Martel to allow Funk to go to the top turnbuckle, lose his balance and crush his testicles on the toprope. Terry Funk is kinda like Eddie Van Halen running up and down the stage doing "Eruption"- except replacing the hammer ons and pull-offs with crazy ass Terry Funk wrestling spots. Funk spends a minute walking around and dealing with his fractured junk and Martel REALLY could have stayed in Montreal for this match- hell, he mights as well have been the Italian Stallion for the amount of time he gets in this match. Funk solves his groin crisis, throws chairs into the stands! (luckily there is a net there to protect wrestler and crowd, but for a minute there you assume that Terry Funk has totally fucking lost his mind.), gets into a shoving match with someone at ringside. Yeah, Terry Funk is fucking crazy. Martel pops back up into the match as they run the ropes, Martel slinks out of the match as Terry Funk gets his stomach stuck on the toprope and thus allows Martel to yank his paunts down, exposing the Funkster's shiny white hiney to the world. Funk, not the most subtle of pro wrestlers, opts to continue with his buttocks exposed. Funk unexposed his hinder so can gets up into the grill of more people in the audience- and I await Funk to set some chairs on fire and throw them at the ringside crowd. Jesus, what did the talk about when they got to the ring. MARTEL: We'll just do a regular wrest... FUNK: Rick MARTEL. I'm just gonna do everything they don't let me do in America! RICK MARTEL. I'm gonna do everything they don't let me do in JAPAN! RICK MARTEL! I am feeling like doing something SPECIAL TONIGHT. MARTEL: Oh Jesus... 11 minutes in, Funk is doing clean breaks as I'm loving him wildly bucking to get out of the headlock. Funk makes up for the two cleans breaks by crushing Martel's man marbles while headlocking him. He then Piledrives him on the infield of the stadium and stomps him in the dirt- thus going from one crazy form of Funkism to a much more violent form of Funkism. Martel is just kinda standing, waiting for the wrestling to be applied to him- as he realizes that Funk is the weird ass Terry Funk Match Zone. Funk takes it back to the ring and applies a sleeper. Martel goes way big is selling the escape and really starts chewing the scenery- because why the fuck not, Terry Funk is going for the wrestling goofball Oscar in this match- when Funk starts choking him with tape. Martel gets the tape from Funk and starts choking his and Funk goes total fucking Liza Minelli In Cabaret big in selling it. Funk escapes a sleeper by send both of them over the toprope. Funk does the Funk Wearing Of A Chair and Martel FUCKING PILEDRIVES HIM WHILE FUNK IS WEARING THE CHAIR! Terry Funk is FUCKING CRAZY. Funk tries to get in the ring, chair draped around his head. Martel realizes this is the only chance he has to make a dent in this match and starts laying it in on Funk. They run the ropes a little and Martel hits a Sunset Flip and Funk cheats to win by holding on to the ropes. Funk taunts Martel and the crowd as they all look for batteries and dirty diapers to pelt Funk with. Terry Funk is wrestlings version of Marlon Brando- a uncontrollable force of nature that is so brilliant when brilliant that you can't really believe it. This match is up in there somewhere underneath these kind of matches that have all this plus a lot of blood and fire. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2QrKiEbMdRo @@@@@@@@@@@@@ LA LUTTE PROFESSIONNELLE- RENE BEN CHEMOUL/ GILBER CESCA vs THE BLACK DIAMONDS- 2/28/1965: Schneider said I should watch this and Schneider is a man who knows what I like. So to speak. So here we go. I tried do the RESEARCH~! on this but all I could come up with was that Rene Ben Chemoul died at age 85 in 2010 after a long bout with dementia. He started wrestling in 1947 for his father's promotion . His dad was a famous French wrestler also. Or that is what the google translation lead me to believe. TIGRE DE LA LUTTE~!(1) The rest is in the ring.(2) (Man, you can REALLY lose a few hours if you go to the Wikipedia Catcheur page.) I took 90 years of French in high school and college (note that I was a Flock of Seagulls live in high school and I saw Sonic Youth live on the EVOL tour in college) and pretty much the only thing I remember is "tranche du jambon"(3), thus I'm don't really know what our suave announcer is saying. The Black Diamonds are AWESOME- they don't just look evil, they don't just look carney evil- they look Euro-Carney Evil. If I was told they were roustabouts by day and wrestlers by night, that would make my week. They remind me of the evil strong man in the movie FREAKS.(4) They need a slutty valet- someone that one of them will throws knives at while blind folded. Cesca is hairless and is your early Richard Mortone as the Black Diamonds cheat like total motherfuckers in between the strikingly beautiful Snakepit-Cum-Negro Navarro Lucha Libre/Lutte Libre matwork. Your very fat, all-white beclad ref is very easily distracted. Our suave announcer is magnifique being delighted at the befuddlement of the Black Diamond as he flails off the toprope to the mat- as Cesca kicks the ropes to put an end of the series of Black Diamonds vaulting down to Cesca's stomach, foot-first, off the top. MAN! This is QUALITY EVIL by the Black Diamonds- but they cannot stop le Tigre de la lutte! Rene Ben Chamoul sports near enough body hair to be nicknames Le Dirty Dutch de la Lutte! Though not on his back. Though he could be manscaping in 1965- hell, this is a straight up Southern tag match in France in 1965. London was swinging but the FUTURE was Paris! Chamoul is awesome with the World Of Sport joint holds- as if Jim Breaks accidentally used Rogaine instead of tanning oil- with the awesome Hammerlock sequence substituting where 70s wrestlers would do a five minute You Cannot Escape My Headlock sequence. Chamoul stretches the Black Diamond's hamstring in assorted ways until Cesca comes off the top and crushes the knee of the Black Diamond. The crowd is enchanted as double team the Black Diamond- ce qui est bon pour l'un est bon pour l'autre! then the other Black Diamond dives in and your babyfaces tangle their legs together- like two Johnny Saints that don't put mayonnaise and vinegar on all their organ-boiled food. Cesca- French, smooth-skinned, debonair- does super-Jim Breaks rolling knee things and to not love him is to not love life. Your Black Daimonds try to TRANSITION~! to l'offence by cheating like total motherfuckers but the ref finally notices something, allowing Cesca to tag in Chamoul. Our sophisticated announcer is thoroughly amused by the Tiger of Wrestling catapulting one Black Diamond into the stomach of the other Black Diamond- and you are delighted also, mon petit chou. A Black Diamond sinks in a sleeper and they do EVERY heel tagteam move the Midnight Express ever did in every Rock and Roll Express match just short a Divorce Court. Cesca is awesome being enraged on the apron. Cesca is also awesome being beaten to death by the immensely evil Black Diamonds. They do the unseen tag and the Black Diamonds beat the fuck out of Cesca as the ref tries to clear Chamoul out of the ring! This is fucking awesome. One Black Diamond has Cesca in a 3/4 Mexican Ceiling Hold while the other Black Diamond crushes Cesca's face with European uppercuts. This match would work anywhere on earth- as this is basically a Nightmares match with better matwork. Chamoul and Cesca transition to offence by double teaming a Black Diamond's evil beard- with Cesca crashing down on it from the toprope while Chamoul held the beard in place- sort of a Beauty School Doomsday Device. The Black Diamonds top this by procuring the TWO MAN CRAVATE and bouncing Chamoul all over the ring with it. This wrestling came from outer space. Then it's knees and uppercuts and back to the Two Man Cravate until Cesca and Chamoul counter with their own Two Man Cravate. Then they run the ropes and the babyfaces hit assorted dropkicks and we have a roll-up for the first fall. All that Chamoul and Cesca need are cut up Poison t-shirts and video montage of them hanging out in a hayloft and they could the first Midsouth tag champs. Second fall, it's a babyface offense bonanza- as Chamoul goes dropkick crazy after countering out of double keylock. Chamoul tags out but still assists as Cesca hits a 1965 Missile Dropkick. A Black Diamond counter this highspot bonanza by bashing Cesca's skull into the knee of the other Black Diamond. They try it agina but THINGS GO WRONG. So they cheat to get back on offense and then it goes all Malenko with leg tangling nearfalls- so they opt to stand up and beat le merd out of each other. Man, Cesca will fucking lay it in. Chamoul tags in and goes totally Ric Flair. He stand and spins on a Black Diamond's face and then starts crossfacing him while he is on his knees and hits a Atomic Elbow and THEN a 4/4 legit senton. The Black Diamond tags out like a little bitch and the other Black Diamond takes a senton and nobody in evil black trunks is happy. Cesca gets caught by a black Diamond and they double team on the Boston Crab- kicking him in the head like cheating motherfuckers as the ref scolds Chamoul for something across the ring. Cesca spins and rolls and jumps to escape and Chamoul tags in and does an elaborate set up for a Mule Kick and then does a very unelaborate 5/4 legit European Uppercut. Then Cesca hits a 6/4 Legit upper cut. Then Cesca just starts fuckin beating on him LIKE A DOG! Yeah, it would suck to wrestle Gilber Cesca. The Black Diamonds finally corral him and beat him down a little and then start pummeling Chamoul with with these great looking forearms to set up a Black Diamond victory roll to take the second fall. This match has everything so far. I reminds me of Steamboat/ Youngblood vs Flair/ Valentine when I was a kid. The third fall is the Black Diamonds taking giant back bumps of monkey flips. Chamoul goes totally Midsouth with the Mr Wrestling 2 knee lift. The Black Diamonds respond with the same finish as the second fall BUT Cesca walks over to the other side of the ring and I wonder if we will actually see and Doomsady Device TWENTY YEARS BEFORE THE ROAD WARRIORS- en lieu, Chamoul hits a dropkick to the back of the Black Diamond and Cesca gets the roll-up for the pinfall. That match was a HOOT. I assume there are World Of Sport matches with the Black Diamonds. I should search for those. Watch all this. This fucking ruled. -------------------- END NOTES: 1. http://www.lemonde.fr/sport/article/2010/09/17/le-catcheur-rene-ben-chemoul-est-mort_1412706_3242.html . he also has a stub: http://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ren%C3%A9_Ben_Chemoul 2. Though if you go to the Catcheur page a French Wikipedia, there is a link to the Lee Benaka's article on Religious imagery in pro wrestling- AHEM which we host. DVDVR is bad, DVDVR is nation-wide... http://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catcheur 3. Slice of ham. 4. The Black Diamonds were British. According to wrestlingdata.com, Abe Ginsberg was born 12/21/1936 somewhere in the UK. All we know about Eric Kendall is that he was born in York, North Yorkshire, England. http://wrestlingdata.com/index.php?befehl=tagteams&team=54600 TOMORROW: Saturday! DVDVR 172 will probably come out at some point this week-end. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt D Posted May 30, 2014 Share Posted May 30, 2014 That Funk vs Martel match is the most beautiful thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RIPPA Posted May 30, 2014 Share Posted May 30, 2014 TOMORROW: Saturday! DVDVR 172 will probably come out at some point this week-end. HA! Not when Tim Livingston is requesting entire shitty NWA/WCW PPVs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nate Posted May 30, 2014 Share Posted May 30, 2014 The date on Funk/Martel just can't be right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimLivingston Posted May 30, 2014 Share Posted May 30, 2014 I guess it's not a DVDVR issue if a fan request holds it up. You're welcome, readers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RIPPA Posted May 30, 2014 Share Posted May 30, 2014 The date on Funk/Martel just can't be right. It's from sometime in 1986. Dean is a boob Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DEAN Posted May 31, 2014 Author Share Posted May 31, 2014 The date is correct. The year is wrong. HA! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Schneider Posted May 31, 2014 Share Posted May 31, 2014 That match was the least of the French Catch I have reviewed, so you will be jazzed for the rest of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lazlo Woodbine Posted May 31, 2014 Share Posted May 31, 2014 Where has all the French stuff suddenly come from? Not that I'm complaining, I hope more shows up. I was looking for Grand Vladimir matches and it led to all these fantastic wrestlers I'd never heard of. God bless Youtube. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Curt McGirt Posted May 31, 2014 Share Posted May 31, 2014 MARTEL: We'll just do a regular wrest... FUNK: Rick MARTEL. I'm just gonna do everything they don't let me do in America! RICK MARTEL. I'm gonna do everything they don't let me do in JAPAN! RICK MARTEL! I am feeling like doing something SPECIAL TONIGHT. MARTEL: Oh Jesus... Reading that with Terry's voice saying it in your head is the best thing in the history of ever. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Kennedy Posted May 31, 2014 Share Posted May 31, 2014 that Terry Funk match is just everything that is right about pro-wrestling Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alan4L Posted June 1, 2014 Share Posted June 1, 2014 Dean, that Gargano/Walter match that I was raving about was posted on youtube by wXw this week as part of the latest Shotgun. Just watched it there, it definitely holds up from the live experience. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alan4L Posted June 1, 2014 Share Posted June 1, 2014 Funk appears to have a confrontation with Lionel Richie during that match. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DEAN Posted June 1, 2014 Author Share Posted June 1, 2014 Dean, that Gargano/Walter match that I was raving about was posted on youtube by wXw this week as part of the latest Shotgun. Just watched it there, it definitely holds up from the live experience. Oh yeah, that showed up in my subscriptions list. I'm reviewing that Monday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now