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May 2014 Football thread.


The Natural

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Giggs has retired too.

 

I couldn't give a shit about his personal life. For me, he was one of the great Premier League players, and to continue playing until 40 was actually amazing to see. Also made me feel incredibly old, as I was 10-11 years old when he first broke in.

 

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Guest The Magnificent 7

Yaya Toure's agent wins bawbag of the year, and it's only May. 

 

Grown men don't sweat their fucking birthdays like a girl's sweet 16. 

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Quit my job today cause my boss forgot my hamster's birthday. Fuck 'em, it's the principle.

 

Summer should be pretty bonkers, Man United are linked with, bar Didier Baptiste (Liverpool are signing him), every bloody player in Europe in the shithouse red tops every day cos some journalist heard it from a guy in a pub who heard it from a guy who follows some guy on Twitter who knows the guy who cuts Toni Kroos' granny's hair. That or they just make the stories up. Overall, I can't see them signing more than 5 players with Shaw the only probable shoo-in at this point. 

 

Man United fan here by the way. Come at me, you reasoned, respectful, jovial swell chaps you.

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I only started supporting them this season because I picked their name out of a hat containing all the Football League teams on Soccer AM, I think Michael Rooker got Leeds one week. The fact I am a glutton for boring Scottish out-of-their-depth fuckpots was just a bonus. Have they not been doing well?

 

Cleverley and Young must surely start looking for a hiding place so deep in the catacombs of Old Trafford that Van Gaal doesn't detect their stench of shitness 3.2 seconds after his arrival and immediately ship them off to Sunderland where Man United players go to die.

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Even my dear old mam who knows fuck all squared about football made a succinctly biting comment at the end of the season of 'look how far down United are in that table, aren't they usually near the top?' It cut like a thousand knives. And that was the day I asked my dad to divorce her.

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