Ask Octopus Anything

[Log]

12 hours ago, Curt McGirt said:

You should have scooted over to Walt's in Marion instead, but that would be a DUI away.

We used to go there a lot. Loved the double decker pizza. I was actually just telling my mom that we should go there next time we visit. 

[Curt McGirt]

Still the best pizza I've ever had. The bar-style square thin crust is good but a reheated Double Decker is unreal. 

[twiztor]

man, i don't know if everybody else's Applebees is better than the one in my town or what is happening here. Their food is the dictionary description of "eh, it's OK i guess". A solid 4 out of 10. There's nothing bad about it, but there's also nothing good. Very basic and plain. And smothered in butter to the point that it isn't very appealing. Luckily, the restaurant is on the exact opposite side of town, so not a place i need to go to often. The mozzarella sticks are a high point, tho.

And it's not like i've got some high class tastes. Buffalo Wild Wings is my go-to, and i eat there regularly. probably too often. I am not taking questions.

i am glad you enjoy it, Octopus. And everybody else too, i guess.

[Octopus]

On 6/11/2024 at 10:06 AM, Technico Support said:

There's an Applebee's by me that I haven't been to since I got takeout from there during the pandemic because I had a gift card.  But I recall it was surprisingly decent.  Of course, I don't think APPLEBEE'S: SURPRISINGLY DECENT is a great tagline.

Nothing against Applebee's or any restaurant from that casual dining tier, like Ruby Tuesday's, TGIFriday's, Hard Rock, etc.  I just eat out so infrequently that it never makes the list.  Actually, I did eat at a Hard Rock a few weeks ago on a work trip because it was the only thing open that late on a Sunday that wasn't so expensive it'd fuck my per diem.  It was also.........surprisingly decent.

On 6/14/2024 at 7:36 PM, twiztor said:

man, i don't know if everybody else's Applebees is better than the one in my town or what is happening here. Their food is the dictionary description of "eh, it's OK i guess". A solid 4 out of 10. There's nothing bad about it, but there's also nothing good. Very basic and plain. And smothered in butter to the point that it isn't very appealing. Luckily, the restaurant is on the exact opposite side of town, so not a place i need to go to often. The mozzarella sticks are a high point, tho.

And it's not like i've got some high class tastes. Buffalo Wild Wings is my go-to, and i eat there regularly. probably too often. I am not taking questions.

i am glad you enjoy it, Octopus. And everybody else too, i guess.

Applebee’s is an existential treat of the beauty of the mundane. If a culinarily casually fried Andy Warhol and a dollar bottomless Norman Rockwell had a baby that grew up to be in your local highschool sports teams as an important bench player, but still beloved. It is not simply an American restaurant, but the American experience is ingrained in the fibers of not just the concept, but the foot and physical structure of the building. Is the idea of Applebee’s a lie we tell ourselves so we can keep living? Maybe. But it’s one that still brings a tear to my eye. Thank you, Applebee’s. Bless you and your $5 Blue Bahama Mama.

[Octopus]

On 6/11/2024 at 11:04 AM, Log said:

When I lived in Southern Illinois, there wasn't a ton of choice when it came to eating out. So, we'd end up at the Applebee's in Carbondale a lot. Some weekend's, it was our de facto bar, too. At the time, my wife and I were working at a TV station in the area. She was the weekend anchor, so a very minor local celebrity. We'd be at Applebee's with the main anchor (more recognizable) and, often, be pretty drunk. We always figured there were a lot of people telling friends the next day, "I was at Applebee's last night, and that girl/guy from the news was HAMMERED!"

So, one night, my wife has had quite a few cheap margaritas and is having trouble controlling the volume of her voice. She decides to re-tell a dirty joke she'd heard that week. The joke is: Guy goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, doctor! My penis has turned orange!" and the doctor says, "Stop eating Cheetohs before you jerk off." Something to that effect. The restaurant is fairly full, and there are a lot of people sitting close to us. She starts to tell the joke in her normal voice, but I suppose was planning on whispering the "penis" part. Instead, it comes out as "Doctor, doctor! My *says loudly* PENIS is *whispers* orange." Had one of those "record scratches and the whole room looks at you" moments.

Lol wiener 

[Octopus]

On 6/12/2024 at 8:17 AM, Log said:

We used to go there a lot. Loved the double decker pizza. I was actually just telling my mom that we should go there next time we visit. 

On 6/12/2024 at 9:51 AM, Curt McGirt said:

Still the best pizza I've ever had. The bar-style square thin crust is good but a reheated Double Decker is unreal. 

Holy shit. Double decker? I might manufacture this.

There was a place in St Paul that had The Miracle On Slice. It was a deli sandwich with pizza as the bread. Their Philly Cheesesteak was so good that I usually went with that though.

[Octopus]

Long week. Wife and child are at mother-in-law’s. Took a nap. Rainy day. Went to the ‘bees.

The floor is open for questions:

[Octopus]

Holy fuck I’m near such a fucking douche. He is ruining Applebees 

[Octopus]

Piece of shit talks shit about the first pours after changing a keg being going through the foam (it was clearly to clear it out and he says “did anyone teach him how to pour a beer”), ignores his gf to talk to another random guy about how expensive his European pants are, then when they are talking he cuts her off and talks over her, she’s clearly irritated the whole time and brings this up and also how she wants to do some of the things she enjoys on their European trip, he talks down to her and changes the subject about Minnesotans asking about people’s work when ironically he asked the people around the bar what they did for a living. 
He doesn’t deserve Applebee’s. I passive aggressively thanked and complimented the bartender actually knowing what he’s doing with changing a keg and not to listen to idiots. 

[Octopus]

Fuck him and his thin pants 

[Log]

That dude is not bringing the proper Applebee's vibe. Doesn't he know that when you're there, you're family? Or is that Olive Garden?

[tbarrie]

https://www.greatlakesbeer.com/glb/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/Octopus-Wants-to-Fight-IPA-Poster-2020.jpg

Explain yourself, sir.

[Nice Guy Eddie]

5 hours ago, Log said:

That dude is not bringing the proper Applebee's vibe. Doesn't he know that when you're there, you're family? Or is that Olive Garden?

That's Olive Garden. Applebees is "Eatin' Good in the Neighborhood".

[Contentious C]

21 minutes ago, Nice Guy Eddie said:

That's Olive Garden. Applebees is "Eatin' Good in the Neighborhood".

I see you're not a true follower of this thread, good sir.

[Nice Guy Eddie]

I pop in from time to time. I thought I had my chain restaurant slogans right. C'est la vie. 

[The Natural]

On 6/28/2024 at 2:08 AM, Octopus said:

Holy fuck I’m near such a fucking douche. He is ruining Applebees 

Sorry to read this. PM'd a pick you up, pal.

Edited June 30, 2024 by The Natural

[Log]

Looks suspiciously in Octo’s direction…

[Technico Support]

On 6/27/2024 at 9:23 PM, Octopus said:

Piece of shit talks shit about the first pours after changing a keg being going through the foam (it was clearly to clear it out and he says “did anyone teach him how to pour a beer”), ignores his gf to talk to another random guy about how expensive his European pants are, then when they are talking he cuts her off and talks over her, she’s clearly irritated the whole time and brings this up and also how she wants to do some of the things she enjoys on their European trip, he talks down to her and changes the subject about Minnesotans asking about people’s work when ironically he asked the people around the bar what they did for a living. 
He doesn’t deserve Applebee’s. I passive aggressively thanked and complimented the bartender actually knowing what he’s doing with changing a keg and not to listen to idiots. 

I'm a real analogy/metaphor guy, and I need to add "(blank) is like wearing expensive European pants to an Applebee's in Minnesota" to my lexicon.

[Curt McGirt]

On 6/30/2024 at 10:20 AM, The Natural said:

Sorry to read this. PM'd a pick you up, pal.

I wasn't aware you could mail Appletinis to someone. 

[Contentious C]

3 hours ago, Curt McGirt said:

I wasn't aware you could mail Appletinis to someone. 

If you order them at Applebee's, they're Applebeenis.

[Octopus]

EMERGENCY POST!!!!!

This is not a drill. I repeat. This is not a drill. 

Applebee’s has 50 cent Mozzarella Stick.

I FUCKING REPEAT

Applebee’s has 50 cent Mozzarella Stick.

When you’re here you’re neighborhood. 

[Octopus]

The floor is open for questions.

[Octopus]

On 6/28/2024 at 8:27 AM, Log said:

That dude is not bringing the proper Applebee's vibe. Doesn't he know that when you're there, you're family? Or is that Olive Garden?

I don’t want to come across too biblical, but that guy was The Whore of Babylon. He knew the neighborhood and he was familiar with the family. He won’t rest until he is eternally damned. May God have mercy…no wait…fuck him…BURN HIS SOUL.

[Octopus]

On 6/28/2024 at 9:48 AM, tbarrie said:

https://www.greatlakesbeer.com/glb/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/Octopus-Wants-to-Fight-IPA-Poster-2020.jpg

Explain yourself, sir.

I was so jacked up from last time. I’m sorry if I let you or the Applebees community down.

by the way, anyone know if I can get this in Minnesota?

[Octopus]

On 6/28/2024 at 1:46 PM, Nice Guy Eddie said:

That's Olive Garden. Applebees is "Eatin' Good in the Neighborhood".

Out of respect to lesser restaurants, Applebees allows other smaller establishments to use their slogans to gain more instagram followers. Bless them and bless their Bourbon Street Steak.