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A New TV Commercial Thread


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  • 3 weeks later...

Really want to find the biggest hole in human existence so I can drop the assholes who came up with and approved that fucking Modelo commercial where everyone is stomping in the stadium. Next time, fuckfaces, just keep it simple: "Enjoy your circus, here's your liquid bread."

We should really change the title of this thread to "LET THE PRODUCTS SELL THEMSELVES".

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1 hour ago, Contentious C said:

Really want to find the biggest hole in human existence so I can drop the assholes who came up with and approved that fucking Modelo commercial where everyone is stomping in the stadium. Next time, fuckfaces, just keep it simple: "Enjoy your circus, here's your liquid bread."

We should really change the title of this thread to "LET THE PRODUCTS SELL THEMSELVES".

‘’I came in here for that special offer” 

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Is it just me or does Natasha Lyonne have the best fucking hair in the world? Every time I see her in those Old Navy commercials I think that, including the new one where it's two of her with two different hairstyles and they are both incredible. Either her or Zooey Deschanel in the Choice Hotels commercials where she literally plays a manic pixie dream girl, which is a funny riff on her public persona. 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Um, given what happens to her in that movie, I think you mean minus that many.  Unless you've memory-holed how fucking disgusting it is, like seemingly every other person on the planet.  Was actually going to come here to remark on that last night and just didn't get around to it.

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5 hours ago, Contentious C said:

Um, given what happens to her in that movie, I think you mean minus that many.  Unless you've memory-holed how fucking disgusting it is, like seemingly every other person on the planet.  Was actually going to come here to remark on that last night and just didn't get around to it.

Remember there’s an R rated version and a PG rated version, a huge amount of people have only seen the PG or edited for tv version. 

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38 minutes ago, Contentious C said:

Evidently.

Totally, when I worked at Blockbuster in the 90's we had both copies, when someone rented the R we had a prepared script telling them it was an "R rated R" and that there was a PG rated version, there was an incident the first week the store was open when someone rented the R for a kids slumber party. We also had to explain that Grease and Bad News Bears were 1970's PG, on par with current PG13 movies and that Tanner says a lot of really racist stuff. 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Oh look, Fireball has a commercial!  They're trying to sell a "classier" version called "Dragnum"!  Oh, har har, hee hee, hoo hoo, isn't that so funny?  DRAGGING THEM, LIKE MY BALLS.

Of course, the people stupid enough to want to willingly drink Fireball are probably not smart enough to get the lameness of the joke anyway.

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Judging from my exploits, I've gathered that Fireball is the favorite of two groups of people: 1. Young folks, mostly women, and 2. Alcoholics that don't want to use or don't have a chaser, so they can take their airplane shots and go drink them straight outside the gas station. Saw somebody do that yesterday, matter of fact. I guess he didn't care about all the police cruising around trying to pop people to fill their quotas on the last day of the month. 

Applebees needs to be condemned for not just their food but making me run for the mute button this time of the year. I mean I understand Lindor having a Christmas song in it because it's a holiday kinda food and they probably bank around now, but Applebees? Isn't there anywhere better to go with the relatives on vacation? Maybe an O'Charley's, even a Waffle House?

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I just saw another bizarre-ass Tubi commercial where this muscular dude at a pool took his shirt off and the camera went on a crawl up his abdomen and his abs just kept going up and up and up like he was 20 feet tall. BIZARRE. Did they hire a writer from Adult Swim or something?

Edited by Curt McGirt
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On 12/1/2023 at 11:16 AM, Curt McGirt said:

Alcoholics that don't want to use or don't have a chaser, so they can take their airplane shots and go drink them straight outside the gas station. Saw somebody do that yesterday, matter of fact.

These people are apparently suing the company that makes Fireball, since the mini bottles are apparently a totally different product, a malt beverage made from wine and assorted artificial gobbledygook, containing zero whiskey.

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Well, that guy wasn't suing anybody unless it was pro bono. 

This part cracked me up 

Quote

The lawsuit further states that given the lack of whiskey, 99 cents for a 1.7 fluid ounce bottle is overpriced.

If they really had to drop the price to 50 cents, they would change the recipe. 

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