Grand Theft Auto V Talk.

[The Man Known as Dan]

Also, for whatever it's worth, I still say J.T. would be the best to learn from during Deathmatches. You are tactically the best, where as I excel at clean shots and posititioning. Robert is probably the most well rounded, and Mel... Well, I kinda view him on a different tier.

[jstout]

No, no, I'd wanna learn from either of the Mary Lou sisters. I hate that tactic so much because I'm only getting marginally better at defending it, and am insanely jealous I can't do it myself, or at least don't wanna put in the time to really get good at it.

 

There are few things in gaming more satisfying than some doofus trying to get up in your personal space and eating an automatic shotgun blast for his troubles.

[RIPPA]

I am laughing because the very last thing JT and I did last Tuesday (which was the last time we played) was JT taught me how to combat roll.

So now I actually can Mary Lou and it's 50/50 I ever play a deathmatch again

[J.T.]

Dan and I did manage to do a a mission and a race before things went completely to shit.  Also got to watch Dan have the most lopsided one on one DM win ever after some fool challenged him, and i got to watch all 5 of his kills through my sniper scope.

 

Logged on late and was able to get on for a few DMs.  Finally got my burning heart tattoo, so my never ending quest for normal mode DMs is done.

 

Yeah, I am good with not getting the Burning Heart or the Grim Reaper tattoos.  I have found most of my DM's with randoms to be infuriating even when I win. As long as my K/D doesn't wet the bed, I am content.

 

I think my white rabbit is the Los Santos Belle t-shirt.

[melraz09]

Holy fuckin shit. Today has got to be one of the shittiest if not the shittiest days of my life. Long story short, I'll be drinkin beer shootin sum bitches in the face ALLLLL NIIIIIGHT LOOOOONG.

[J.T.]

If you are online when I am, I will be killing dudes with you until Rippa logs on for ME3 Wednesday... unless we can convince Rippa to join in the slaughter.

[melraz09]

OK so that was the short version here is the longer version. Might ourghta skip im just blowin off some steam it might take awhile. So the other day after mowin I was sittin in my camp chair drinkin a beer just inside my basement garage I noticed a few termites so what do I do grab the ar the mossberg the xds oh wait that's what I wanted to do I actually called orkin. So today they came out to nuke them lil sum bitches and was drillin holes in the upstairs garage and it was goin smooth. I was first out at work (next person called in) so I tell the feller I gotta take a shower. So I'm warshin me arse and can still hear drillin then all of a sudden my water pressure goes to a steady piss stream of a grasshopper with prostrate cancer and kidney stones. Dalm he's hit a water line. I jump out all soap covered put on some gym shorts and run downstairs to the basement. When I get to the door to go downstairs I can hear water pourin into the floor. I ran through a cold ass waterfall to turn off the main water. Now I've probably got termites and a fuckin flooded basement. Now I have to take a day off work and probably tomorrow as well cause I plan on being drunk until Friday mornin sometime. Ahhhh if it wasn't for bad luck I'd had no luck at all. If you made it this far I apologize just needed to bitch for a minute. Just hope the wife stays asleep until the water line is at least fixed. I might hafta bury some people iffin she wakes up then again I may need buried.

[melraz09]

Sounds good jt. I need to bust some ass mane.

[Robert C]

OK so that was the short version here is the longer version. Might ourghta skip im just blowin off some steam it might take awhile. So the other day after mowin I was sittin in my camp chair drinkin a beer just inside my basement garage I noticed a few termites so what do I do grab the ar the mossberg the xds oh wait that's what I wanted to do I actually called orkin. So today they came out to nuke them lil sum bitches and was drillin holes in the upstairs garage and it was goin smooth. I was first out at work (next person called in) so I tell the feller I gotta take a shower. So I'm warshin me arse and can still hear drillin then all of a sudden my water pressure goes to a steady piss stream of a grasshopper with prostrate cancer and kidney stones. Dalm he's hit a water line. I jump out all soap covered put on some gym shorts and run downstairs to the basement. When I get to the door to go downstairs I can hear water pourin into the floor. I ran through a cold ass waterfall to turn off the main water. Now I've probably got termites and a fuckin flooded basement. Now I have to take a day off work and probably tomorrow as well cause I plan on being drunk until Friday mornin sometime. Ahhhh if it wasn't for bad luck I'd had no luck at all. If you made it this far I apologize just needed to bitch for a minute. Just hope the wife stays asleep until the water line is at least fixed. I might hafta bury some people iffin she wakes up then again I may need buried.

 

If it makes you feel any better, Orkin must do that shit every time they do one of those treatments.  Did the same shit in one of my bedrooms when we had them out 4 years ago.  My wife was home when it happened.  They called out a plumber who proceeded to talk down to her like she couldn't possibly understand the problem.  That went well for him.  I'm surprised I didn't come home to find him skinned and hanging by his feet from the post oak out back, Predator style.  Only good thing that came from it was I found an actual use for fire ants.  Little fuckers followed the termites in and killed em dead.

 

Oh yeah, and I'll be on tonight, a lot of the time anyway.

[melraz09]

I feel your pain mane. This sucks. If I get some smart assed plumber I'd say I'll play gta as usual in my basement but it won't consist of a controller. Maybe I need some pet fire ants.

[jstout]

How the fuck does a termite-control guy bust a water line? Reason number 6,069,060 I'm not a homeowner. 

 

I'll be on whenever, nothing better to do. If he's still on, I wanna stick a foot up some limey bastard's ass named BulkyMean. He was one of the randoms in Rooftop with Randoms, and he thought it'd be fun to blow up my PV and then run me over just for shits and giggles. I blacklisted him, reported him to Rockstar, sent a letter to the U.S. Consolate, whatever, but I'd love to see his little 'tude if he ran into about three to six of us with a full-blown stiffie for killing his limey ass. I want to break his back and make him humble. Mel, just pretend he's the Orkin guy.

[Dolfan in NYC]

For those who haven't seen it:

 

 

Fall, GTA V goes to the XB1, PS4 and PC

[Robert C]

How the fuck does a termite-control guy bust a water line? Reason number 6,069,060 I'm not a homeowner. 

 

I'll be on whenever, nothing better to do. If he's still on, I wanna stick a foot up some limey bastard's ass named BulkyMean. He was one of the randoms in Rooftop with Randoms, and he thought it'd be fun to blow up my PV and then run me over just for shits and giggles. I blacklisted him, reported him to Rockstar, sent a letter to the U.S. Consolate, whatever, but I'd love to see his little 'tude if he ran into about three to six of us with a full-blown stiffie for killing his limey ass. I want to break his back and make him humble. Mel, just pretend he's the Orkin guy.

 

Can't speak for melraz's case.  In mine they were drilling into the floor to set some permanent stuff, and hit a water line right in the middle of a bedroom.  Jackass plumber proceeded to give my wife the don't worry your pretty little head over this bit.  Big mistake.  She was already pissed off about the waterline, and he managed to push exactly the wrong button. 

[melraz09]

Thank you mr. Jstout for filing a complaint with the mayors office. We will make it top priority to handle this situation and any other that you may have immediately. MELRAZ SAYS BULKYMEAN IS GONNA BE TURNED INTO A WIMPYPUSS. He'll tuck his tail in his vagina and and run as far and as fast as he can from our city. Because we are the D.V.D.R. and we are THAT DALM GOOD. Fuck with one and ya get the whole swarm. Ahhhh ahhhhh

[melraz09]

Yeah same thing Robert. Hit the main water line in the basement. Were drillin in the upstairs front porch. He centered that sum bitch.

[J.T.]

The bad news is that I was on a conference call with my girlfriend and our realtor for two and a half hours.  The good news is that all of our cabinets, flooring, carpeting, and tile (I am now an expert in listello borders) are picked out for the townhouse.. 

 

.. and I am getting a fourth floor loft.  FUCK YEAH~!

 

i haven't fired a shot in anger in free mode for over five days.  I have to straighten up my crib for my custody weekend, but I do plan on being online at some point in the evening.

[AxB]

My headset snapped (it still works, but one of the cans was hanging by a thread, and the broken bit jabs into the side of your skull when you wear it). I was pissed off that I was going to have to buy a new one. Then I remembered I'm not the type of guy who throws away broken things, I'm the type of guy who fixes broken things. So I glued it back together and now it's fine.

 

But I unplugged it while the glue was setting, and it was really weird hearing people's voices coming out of my telly speakers again. Especially since it was Havoc and Cat discussing why Cat refused to be Havoc's brother's girlfriend (he lives in Philadelphia PA. She lives in Australia. They're both under 18 and neither of them is a millionaire. Not really workable, is it?).

 

Got a Monroe now, to go with my Roosevelt. They really need to add more fast cars to the Sports Classics class - Stingers were awesome in GTA 3, but they're horrible in 5. The JB-007 handles like a brick on an Ice Rink - would be OK if you could get it weaponized though. Also, the Custom Sanchez is much better for Off-Road races than the Bifta. Handles the slidey hairpins like a dream.

 

On the shopping list still - a Sedan that can corner (The Super Diamond is great in a straight line, but the turning circle is massive), and a 4-Door Coupe. And maybe switch out the Entity for an Adder or Turismo, maybe.

[J.T.]

Got a Monroe now, to go with my Roosevelt. They really need to add more fast cars to the Sports Classics class - Stingers were awesome in GTA 3, but they're horrible in 5. The JB-007 handles like a brick on an Ice Rink - would be OK if you could get it weaponized though. Also, the Custom Sanchez is much better for Off-Road races than the Bifta. Handles the slidey hairpins like a dream.

 

I am very pleased with the performance of my customized Atomic Tires Sanchez in the last three off road races I've been in.

[AxB]

I went with the Sanchez 2, so I could get in in Pink. I go through colour phases in this game. The business update came out in my green and purple phase, so I was wearing a purple Top Hat and a Green Jacket, with long blonde hair. Someone on the other Deathmatch team said we had Willy Wonka on our side. So I killed them more.

[J.T.]

Rippa's current outfit makes him resemble Sen Dog from Cypress Hill.  I think he has internalized the track, How I Could Just Kill A Man.

[RIPPA]

Rippa's current outfit makes him resemble Sen Dog from Cypress Hill.  I think he has internalized the track, How I Could Just Kill A Man.

 

It amazing how once I switched to that outfit - I suddenly got good.

 

I saw everyone playing last night but my connection got wrecked for a bit thanks to thunder boomers that rolled through for a bit.

So I played a little ME until the Rangers game started

[odessasteps]

Jobber Thursday?

Id like to try and level up today if i play.

[J.T.]

 

Rippa's current outfit makes him resemble Sen Dog from Cypress Hill.  I think he has internalized the track, How I Could Just Kill A Man.

 

It amazing how once I switched to that outfit - I suddenly got good.

 

I saw everyone playing last night but my connection got wrecked for a bit thanks to thunder boomers that rolled through for a bit.

 

So I played a little ME until the Rangers game started

 

We also had bad storms last night that played havoc with my connection.  I tried to play some ME3 after getting off the phone with the realtor and my girlfriend, but I dropped out of matches four times.

[jstout]

The Sanchez is THE off-road race vehicle, by a huge margin. The only problem is, you gotta watch out for those pesky dudes in four-wheeled vehicles running over you.

 

I think the Monroe is the best car in the Sports Classics class, and for a Sedan, try to find yourself a Obey Tailgater. They're kinda tricky to find, which is half the fun. It gets a little loose in the corners sometimes, but I think it's the best in the Sedan class.

 

For a four-door Coupe, I'm partial to the Dewbachee Exemplar (my current running-around car in the game, The Green Hornet, is an Exemplar). It's fast and handles like a dream. Problem is, it isn't stealable. Costs around $200,000. For a good stealable four-dour Coupe, try the Lampdati Felon. It's fast, but gets looser in corners than the Exemplar does.

 

I dunno about switching out the Entity, though - they definitely have their place. There's races where you could benefit from having an Adder and its extra speed, but there's races where you'd want the Entity's handling. I have both and consider them like different golf clubs in a bag - some clubs are good for some shots, and some for others.

 

I understand the expense, though - I bought my Entity during the billionaire days. I scrimped and saved and clawed and fought for that Adder, though. The $500,000 "stimulus" they gave us put me over the top. God, that seems like 15 years ago. 

[Robert C]

I may be on some before my usual 7:30 to 10 PM Thursday commit.  May be on after as well, if I can stay awake after playing way, way too much freemode last night.

 

Lots of flakiness last night.  UFOs are back, if they ever really left.  Saw one in a Rooftop Rumble I was spectating Stout on, and then ran right smack into one in freemode.  Sticky bombs weren't working a lot of the time, or were detonating really late.  melraz and I ran into one asshole who was invisible and not appearing on the radar as well.  Second time I've run into one of those.

 

Not sure if this was real or more flakiness, but misanthrope and I both got world lap records on that figure 8 track down at the airport.  Goodbye beloved racing brunette tattoo.  Hello brand new racing blonde. 

 

melraz discovered the joys of team DMs vs. randoms last night, and was like a kid in a candy store.

 

Seemed like every guy I shot wanted a one on one DM last night, especially the really terrible guys.  Must've got at least 15 requests for those.  Lots of awful guys last night

 

- ACPseal.  I'm gonna give him the benefit of the doubt and say he named himself for the aquatic mammal rather than the navy version.  Was about as dangerous as a baby harp seal as well.  Got up about 5-0 on him before he started spawning on the beach.  Then things got really ugly till he left.

 

- ELITE BEAT DOWN.  Pretty sure he misspelled "please stop beating me down.  I'm really terrible at this game".  Was up at least 15-0 on him before my game froze.  Everybody else was curbstomping him too. 

 

- fishnuts.  Fishnuts is the cure for what ails you.  Having an off day in GTA?  Struggling with getting killed over and over?  Felling down?  Try fishnuts.  just kill him as many times as you like till you feel better.  Wound up at least 12-0 on him, and he only even manged to hit me with a round once.  Then I realized he was level 6.  But he would not stop coming at me, and kept sending those stupid one on one invites.