piranesi Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 Zeus and Hades are in another argument on Olympus. Hades in a fit of anger screams "RELEASE THE KRAKEN!!!!" Zeus softly whispers to one of his servants "Release Mark Henry." Hades immediately screams "SEND THE KRAKEN BACK!!!!SEND THE KRAKEN BACK!!!!! WE'RE COOL, BRAH! WE'RE COOL!!!" Zeus smiles and says "That's what I thought." Zeus is instantly split down the middle by Mark Henry's fist. Mark Henry declares: "I was having a nice day off...release Mark Henry???..YOU DON'T RELEASE ME! I RELEASE THE AIR FROM YOUR LUNGS! AND WHAT YOU LOOKING AT LIAM NEESON??? I GOT A LIST TOO. IT'S A LIST OF HOW MANY PARTS OF YOU ARE ABOUT TO NOT BE PART OF YOU ANYMORE! LET'S START WITH NUMBER 1..YOUR LIVER." Hades begs for mercy. Mark Henry smiles. "That's the best part..." 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brian Fowler Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 What other shows can we put on the Mark Henry 24/7 channel? (In addition to showing all of his movies) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
piranesi Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 MARK HENRY'S DANCE PARTY WHEN ANIMALS ATTACK MARK HENRY (they don't ever do it again) THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH JAY LE...MARK HENRY SUITS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JRGoldman Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 I think Ghost Hunters with Mark Henry is interesting from a hypothetical stand point. Do non living, non corporeal brings still have to pay their air bill? The answer is an unequivocal yes. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brian Fowler Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 Mark Henry Finding Bigfoot "Cause even fictional creatures have air bills" Mark Henry's Pawn Stars "Pawning things to pay your air bill" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fat Spanish Waiter Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 CSI: Mark Henry Mark Henry has to solve the crime of the unpaid air bill using forensics, ballistics, and World's Strongest Slams. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
piranesi Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 CSI: MARK HENRY CSI: MARK HENRY SVU HOW MARK HENRY MET YOUR MOTHER SHE'S THE SHERIFF (Mark just really likes this show) DAMMIT WAITER!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Burgundy LaRue Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 Now I'm imagining Mark in The Shawshank Redemption: You either got to get busy living, or get busy dying. What you need to do is get busy paying your air bill. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
piranesi Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 Late night lineup:THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH JAY LE...MARK HENRYTHE LATE LATE SHOW WITH DAVID MARK HENRYTHE CONAN O'BRIEN SHOW STARRING MARK HENRY THE GEORGE LOPEZ SHOW STARRING MARK HENRYJIMMY KIMMEL LIVE...(who seems to have died) here's MARK HENRYMARK HENRY LATELYTHE VIEW Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brian Fowler Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 "I'd like to think the last thing that went through his head, before Mark Henry's fist..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaedmc Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 So would anyone object to Mark Henry replacing Paul Walker in Fast and Furious 7? Rock: Did anyone notify his next of kin? Vin Diesel: Yeah, his cousin. cut to Mark Henry throwing cars at bad guys. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fat Spanish Waiter Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 Statham flailing madly trying to get away as Mark Henry picks up the British Isles and begins breaking them into pieces. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brian Fowler Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 So would anyone object to Mark Henry replacing Paul Walker in Fast and Furious 7? Rock: Did anyone notify his next of kin? Vin Diesel: Yeah, his cousin. cut to Mark Henry throwing cars at bad guys. Fuck, I'd go see that movie. Twice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Burgundy LaRue Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 Dorothy and the gang make it to Oz. They go to meet the Wizard. When Toto pulls back the curtain, they see the Wizard lying in a crumpled heap, and Mark Henry in the Wizard's chair. Mark Henry turns to Dorothy and without blinking an eye: "The old man thought it was that easy, not paying me for my air. But I had a lot left in the tank. So I took his life. And his chair. Now, how much are you and your friends going to pay me today?" The Cowardly Lion throws himself through the window, with the Scarecrow and the Tin Man following in quick succession. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaedmc Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 Statham flailing madly trying to get away as Mark Henry picks up the British Isles and begins breaking them into pieces. Statham would just crumple to the ground and start crying. "Who am I fooling? I'm not a hard man. Please end my sham of a life as quickly as possible.." But Mark doesn't even notice him and inadvertently steps on him, killing him instantly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brian Fowler Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 Mark Henry vs. Rocky. Rocky miraculously dodges a Mark Henry punch, only for the force of wind to shatter his face and end his boxing career. Mark Henry has no pity for the fool. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
piranesi Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 Mark Henry: "Oh, have I got your attention now? Good. 'Cause we're adding a little something to this month's oxygen sale contest. As you all know, first prize is you get to keep your lungs. Anybody want to see second prize? Second prize is a set of steak knives. Lungs not included. You get the picture?" 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brian Fowler Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 COPS: Mark Henry edition. When the cops show up, they've brought some back up. MARK HENRY. How many seconds can our wife beating piece of shit survive? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gonzalez Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 Statham flailing madly trying to get away as Mark Henry picks up the British Isles and begins breaking them into pieces. Statham would just crumple to the ground and start crying. "Who am I fooling? I'm not a hard man. Please end my sham of a life as quickly as possible.." But Mark doesn't even notice him and inadvertently steps on him, killing him instantly. Now you're just instigating me. Can we please move this nonsense to it's own thread. So it won't ruin the reputation of the Upcoming Movies Thread, with fake upcoming movies you'd see in an issue of MAD. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fat Spanish Waiter Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 American Pie: Jim's Dad beats the shit out of all of them for being such losers. Except for Jim, because he is of noble stock. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Burgundy LaRue Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 The Mark Henry Power Slam Massacre: just before Leatherface and his crew do in the kids, Mark Henry comes in and lays waste to the entire clan with a series or power slams. As payment, the kids offer Mark Henry $50 and Franklin as a tackling dummy for Henry's amusement. Henry accepts the offer and proceeds to choke slam Franklin while crushing Franklin's wheelchair with a giant boot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrianS81177 Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 Christ, I needed a good laugh and the last few pages have done the trick. Thanks guys. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brian Fowler Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 How the Dinosaurs went Extinct: The Mark Henry Story Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fat Spanish Waiter Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 A group of prisoners try to take over a plane with Mark Henry's diabetic brother on board. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brian Fowler Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 A loose Mark Henry falls into the hands of terrorists. Just as the government is about to give in to their demands, the Mark Henry wakes up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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