RUkered Posted September 18, 2015 Share Posted September 18, 2015 Has anyone completed any of those time trials? Am I missing something, or are they impossible? I'm talking like - time limit is 2:04 and I show up at 4:32 or some shit. And that's even taking the Melraz Luke Duke "as the crow flies" route. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robert C Posted September 18, 2015 Share Posted September 18, 2015 Is that the full melraz route, where you roll down the same damn hill upside down 18 times? If so, that might be your problem right there. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melraz09 Posted September 18, 2015 Share Posted September 18, 2015 Shiiit must be another melraz. My shortcuts always work 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RUkered Posted September 18, 2015 Share Posted September 18, 2015 And they start off with OHHHHH SHIT and end with COME ON YOU DALM BASTARD 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robert C Posted September 18, 2015 Share Posted September 18, 2015 And then you get outrun by somebody in a dump truck. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dolfan in NYC Posted September 18, 2015 Share Posted September 18, 2015 Has anyone completed any of those time trials? Am I missing something, or are they impossible? I'm talking like - time limit is 2:04 and I show up at 4:32 or some shit. And that's even taking the Melraz Luke Duke "as the crow flies" route. Try a fast bike. They'll especially help with that last hill. I came really close last night, but got into an accident in the intersection right before the turn off to the hill. Here's a good guide: 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RUkered Posted September 19, 2015 Share Posted September 19, 2015 Had a hell of a run last night. Started out on the One - Roast, I didn't see you in there until we were doing that parachuting event. Then the Mayor's office called and I switched to the One. He's only able to do missions again, so we ran through a ton of them. For some reason, half of them are missing from the list on the start menu. Robert joined us for a while, and the three of us did our best to sabotage each and every mission as much as possible. The Mayor dropped off, and Robert and I were put into a room together. Two players were in there with no apparent association with each other - but their names were Wyatt Earp and Doc Holliday. Well hell, we gotta go mess with them. Only problem is...they made their namesakes proud. I managed a lucky kill or two, but they tore me a new asshole. Finally, Robert and I said fuck this and switched over to the One, where Stout was already on. We screwed around for a while, and I remember seeing it was after 3 am. The next thing I remember is waking up and it was after 5 am. I was trying to figure out where I was, when I suddenly heard Stout talk. I had passed out, sitting straight up in my recliner with my headset on. I just hope they didn't take the opportunity to drop subliminal messages in my ear, although I do have the sudden urge to put on a thong and go run through the neighborhood for some reason... 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RUkered Posted September 19, 2015 Share Posted September 19, 2015 Has anyone completed any of those time trials? Am I missing something, or are they impossible? I'm talking like - time limit is 2:04 and I show up at 4:32 or some shit. And that's even taking the Melraz Luke Duke "as the crow flies" route.Try a fast bike. They'll especially help with that last hill. I came really close last night, but got into an accident in the intersection right before the turn off to the hill. Here's a good guide: http://youtu.be/hm5N7V_TI4Y Thanks man. I'll give it a shot. I thought I would be slick and try a helicopter. I should have known that wasn't allowed. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jstout Posted September 19, 2015 Share Posted September 19, 2015 I missed Wyatt and Doc, but it was Hand Stout His Ass night last night. I didn't get whooped by one person, but everyone in the room took their turns killing me as I didn't help my cause by doing some stupid, stupid shit. Only managed a couple of Allah Akbars and missed some absolute gift sniper shots. As much as it pains me to say, the much-hyped Beast event sucks. I think it might be made better if more people were involved, and I think there's a secret to it - I bet the key is to avoid the whole thing until he's about 6-7 checkpoints in and showing up on the map long enough to get a bead on him. He got offed by one of two jets tracking him down last night. The briefcase one was OK. The person who got the briefcase beat everyone to it by quite a margin, which caused him to be able to take off in a car and leave us pursuing him. At one point, there was a HYOOGE fight near the guy, but no one could get close to him. The blow a bunch of crap up event is fun. The key - call for a tank and hope it spawns by that bus station. If it does, there should be a bunch of buses sitting there, and buses are big money. RUkered magically popping back up in our headsets at 4:30 a.m. was hilarious. I also had a laugh when Rippa came on right late for us/early for him. I'm sure he thought "these assholes still at it? Again?" 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dolfan in NYC Posted September 19, 2015 Share Posted September 19, 2015 Damn, I was on until about 12:30 and fell asleep. Stupid human body. Oh well. By the way, they've changed the time trial. Now it's 2:40 to get from the Observatory to the SE corner of Grapeseed. OH! And Insurgents are half-off this weekend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RUkered Posted September 20, 2015 Share Posted September 20, 2015 Thanks for the heads up. I'll give it a shot on a bike, but I'm not expecting much. Y'all have seen me do Tunnel Vision. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RUkered Posted September 21, 2015 Share Posted September 21, 2015 Yep. I give up. I was still a minute over the time limit. I did, however, do the Pacific Standard Job with randoms and we got it on the first try. Almost got the elite challenge too. I was shocked. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jstout Posted September 21, 2015 Share Posted September 21, 2015 Did you use the armored Kuruma a lot? The steal the van mission and the steal the motorcycles mission is SO much easier with the Kuruma. Some folks know how to use it on the finale. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RUkered Posted September 21, 2015 Share Posted September 21, 2015 I had mine called in when the mission started, but I endended up riding with a dude who had a Hotknife out because I've never actually seen one in the game before. We all rode the bikes. I only ate shit once and had to kill two cops. But I was tearing through armor and candy like crazy. I just got really lucky. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AxB Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 Having played through story mode again, I never noticed just how much Trevor doesn't like it when someone calls him a Motherfucker. Like four of the five rampages start with him taking exception to that (the Army guys mock him for being Canadian instead). But at one point he says "It's not fucking if there's no penetration" really insistently, and I never caught that the first time I played through. Need to do Series A Heist again just to listen to the stuff he comes out with during that. This Kifflom stuff is really boring. Still, gives me something to not do while I'm getting the last few stunt jumps. I'll have to try Three-Man Army soon as well. And spending $200,000,000 but I can do that during the last couple of Assassinations, probably. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AxB Posted September 24, 2015 Share Posted September 24, 2015 Just when you think you've seen it all, you go into HALO to get your Parachute Dangerously, and before you can trigger it solo someone joins. And they're in a crew called XSKY, which is short for Extreme Skydivers. I thought my 200-ish parachute jumps was a lot. This fucker has 8026 won, 2784 lost. And he was betting $10,000 every time. I bet $100 and beat him one time. HALO is easy. But honestly. Racing Crews I could understand. Deathmatch crews I could understand. Heist crews, that makes a lot of sense. But a Parachuting crew? Seriously? Done all the Stunt Jumps. That Lighthouse one was pissing me off. Mostly because you lose your car every time, and all you've got around there to drive back to fins a new one is a Surfer Van, a Mountain Bike or a rusty old tractor. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dolfan in NYC Posted September 24, 2015 Share Posted September 24, 2015 I'll all but guarantee one of these was written by Nate's wife. http://kotaku.com/grand-theft-auto-v-as-reviewed-by-significant-others-1732795125 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melraz09 Posted September 24, 2015 Share Posted September 24, 2015 Ahahaha dalm! I wish i could like that shit more than once roast. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robert C Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 I tried to explain to my wife why I was cracking up reading about the guy that likes to ride around on the top of buses. I don't think she got it. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AxB Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 Did the final Assassination mission, which got me to 100% Completion (Gold Trophy), and was my 70th Gold Medal (another Gold Trophy). And those two Gold Trophies got me the Platinum. I'm a couple of Heist Update trophies from having 100% of them, and they're both easily achievable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Man Known as Dan Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 War. War Never Chances. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shylock Posted September 26, 2015 Share Posted September 26, 2015 Some of these custom jobs need to be weeded out. For the second time I went into some course where it's basically "get over this wall or you fucking die because someone will get to whatever weapons there are before you." The first person who gets to whatever stash of weapons is basically the defacto winner. Every time you spawn, you spawn in the pit where you need to jump out of it and for the next twenty fucking minutes or whatever, you're basically dead for the remainder of the session. Or you get penalized for quitting out (which is bullshit, I don't want to sit there and get mowed down constantly for 20 minutes or so). Are all the custom jobs on GTA Online this way? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AxB Posted September 26, 2015 Share Posted September 26, 2015 Lots of them, yeah. Basically, don't join a random deathmatch, one with 'Parkour' in the title, or one called anything 'RP HACK $$$$$'. Because they're spawn traps for people who want to pad their K/D ratio without actual competition. If in the lobby the weapons are locked to unarmed or crowbar, quit out before it starts. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jstout Posted September 26, 2015 Share Posted September 26, 2015 Agreed. If it promises lots of money and RP, avoid. This will probably disqualify most of them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AxB Posted September 26, 2015 Share Posted September 26, 2015 I was always planning on making an LTS called Last Team Landing, where the two teams start out on platforms far away from each other, and have to parachute to the ground to get the weapons. Because that would at least be sort of fair whilst still rewarding ability. Admittedly, it's rewarding the ability to Parachute quickly and safely, but still, some guys are better at that than others. Maybe I'll eventually get around to that. Like I'll get around to the Italian Job-themed Weeny Issi race. EDIT: The trophy for getting Heist platinums dropped. So now all I need for 100% trophy completion is to spend $8,000,000 on heist vehicles. I might buy and sell one car over and over for a laugh. I already bought the Insurgent, the mounted gun Insurgent and the Jump Jet, so I'm not that far off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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