OSJ Posted November 3, 2015 Author Share Posted November 3, 2015 You have FAIR PLAY tattooed on your chest don't you. That would be a bit much don't you think? ;-) I have no tats, when I was much younger and occasionally thought about it there was always something else to spend money on. When I could easily have afforded it, it was no longer much of a rarity, so the hell with it. It's funny, most people expect that I have full sleeves or something and are surprised to find nothing. I'm 90% homebound, who the fuck am I going to impress with new ink? My wife? After thirty+ years married to me she's a bit beyond being impressed by such things. My five or six friends that come to visit? They'd wonder why I hadn't blown the money on a rare book (and so would I). Looks like no tats here, although FOAD2U2 has a lot of appeal to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cliff Hanger Posted November 3, 2015 Share Posted November 3, 2015 I read up on the old Thunderbird myths, and the consensus is that they were probably *just* a variety of condor that tops out at 5' 2" with a wingspan of over 10'. Like that's supposed to make me feel better? I was shook when a 2' tall hawk took up residence in our backyard for a couple days. I would probably faint if I came across a bird that's as tall as my sainted mother! Do a search for "Terror Birds" and be prepared for sleepless nights. I read that Atomic Robo story, and then slept. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ryan Posted November 3, 2015 Share Posted November 3, 2015 Tell me you at least have a jacket that says it. I'm going by your avatar, Mister Terrific. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OSJ Posted November 3, 2015 Author Share Posted November 3, 2015 dude do you remember the old politics board what are you doing Ain't nothing political about flying vermin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AxB Posted November 3, 2015 Share Posted November 3, 2015 Don't talk about Donald Trump that way. EDIT: Actually, Do. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OSJ Posted November 3, 2015 Author Share Posted November 3, 2015 Tell me you at least have a jacket that says it. I'm going by your avatar, Mister Terrific. I'm afraid the closest I have is a custom action figure of the Great Man. Although putting a "Fair Play" patch on my leather jacket has a certain appeal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarcosLoura Posted November 15, 2015 Share Posted November 15, 2015 Potential thread of the year. Congratulations all around. P.S. Bats are cool man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OSJ Posted November 16, 2015 Author Share Posted November 16, 2015 Lest any think that I am anti-bat, far from it. I just don't really give a shit about their accommodations at the zoo. As stated before, they spend all day looking like a turd hanging from the ceiling and at night they fly out to do bat things. Does any of this require sumptuous housing? I think not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
piranesi Posted November 17, 2015 Share Posted November 17, 2015 My uncle was going to host the whole family for Thanksgiving dinner before you messed it all up you sonofabitch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bustronaut Posted November 17, 2015 Share Posted November 17, 2015 Your dad was going to serve bat for thanksgiving? I am thankful I wasn't invited this year. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
piranesi Posted November 17, 2015 Share Posted November 17, 2015 MY UNCLE IS A ZOO BAT NOT A CANNIBAL YOU BASTARD!!! READ THE THREAD ZIELDER Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OSJ Posted November 18, 2015 Author Share Posted November 18, 2015 There's a Mexican grocery in town, I can send you some grasshoppers and fried grubs if it makes you feel better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OSJ Posted November 18, 2015 Author Share Posted November 18, 2015 Your dad was going to serve bat for thanksgiving? I am thankful I wasn't invited this year. You are welcome here, Mike. We say hell with that turkey and stuffing crap, we're starting off with: Fruit Bat Soup!!! Ingredients 3 - 4 fruit bats, well washed but neither skinned nor eviscerated (If you can't find any fruit bats, you can grab about two dozen of the common little buggers you see all over the US. water 1 Tbsp. Finely sliced fresh ginger 1 LARGE Sweet Onion, quartered Garlic and lots of it !!! Two whole heads is actually about right to balance the (should we say) pungency of the bats. Sea salt to taste Chopped scallions (you would think that the scallions would get lost amid the garlic, you would be wrong.) Soy Sauce (do not fuck around with "lite" Soy Sauce, bats = pungent and coconut / cream (If you want to be all fancy about it get two fresh coconuts and cut them in halves to use as serving bowls. One would think that simply serving bat soup is enough of a "wow factor" for any dinner, but what the hell, always give 'em more than they can handle... How to make it Place the bats in a large kettle and add water to cover, ginger, onion, garlic and salt. Bring to a boil and cook for 60 minutes. Strain broth into a second kettle. Take the bats, skin them and discard the skin. Remove meat from the bones and return meat, and any of the viscera you fancy, to the broth. Heat. Serve liberally sprinkled with scallions and further seasoned with soy sauce and/or coconut cream. Garnish with deep fried grasshoppers for an interesting blend of textures. The habanero flavored ones are best, but for those that can't take the heat, the jalapeno flavored ones will pass muster. Makes 4 servings. Enjoy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MADCAP Posted November 19, 2015 Share Posted November 19, 2015 "Salt to taste", eh? There isn't enough salt in the Morton's factory to get me to eat a goddamn bat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OSJ Posted November 19, 2015 Author Share Posted November 19, 2015 "Salt to taste", eh? There isn't enough salt in the Morton's factory to get me to eat a goddamn bat. Ozzy Osbourne is very disappointed with you, young fella. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brian Fowler Posted November 19, 2015 Share Posted November 19, 2015 Ozzy's was still alive though. And bit him back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AxB Posted November 19, 2015 Share Posted November 19, 2015 When my cat killed them bats, she didn't eat them. And she eats almost everything she kills (which isn't that much. But she killed a pigeon last week. Either that or some other cat killed a pigeon and then left the corpse outside my back door to intimidate my cat. Which doesn't seem likely, but they aren't exactly logical animals). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OSJ Posted November 19, 2015 Author Share Posted November 19, 2015 When my cat killed them bats, she didn't eat them. And she eats almost everything she kills (which isn't that much. But she killed a pigeon last week. Either that or some other cat killed a pigeon and then left the corpse outside my back door to intimidate my cat. Which doesn't seem likely, but they aren't exactly logical animals). A pigeon? That's a pretty hefty kill for a house cat. If in fact it was left by another cat, that's not a sign of intimidation but more along the lines of a friendship gift. Our twin boys (Jackpot and Seven, two years of age), spent all summer killing lizards and bringing them home for their little sister, Cersei (age 6 months as of 11/1/15). Then when discovered that she liked to play with them before consuming, they started dragging in wounded but still living lizards for her to torture and then eat. Of course, the inevitable happened and several escaped only to die in odd places throughout the house. Perhaps equally troubling was her penchant for eating only half a lizard at times. While it's disconcerting finding a dead lizard on your keyboard, finding half of a dead lizard in your shoe is much more unpleasant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ryan Posted November 19, 2015 Share Posted November 19, 2015 Poor lizards. Their army shall get revenge. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OSJ Posted November 19, 2015 Author Share Posted November 19, 2015 Poor lizards. Their army shall get revenge. There is a veritable army of reptiles in our yard. Runs about 85% blue-tailed skinks, 13% horned toads, 1 1/2 % alligator lizards, and last but certainly not least because they get to be HUGE if they survive a couple of cat summers, chuckwallas (which I seem to recall as being the largest species in North America. I'm actually rather fond of the lizards as they do an excellent job of keeping the tarantulas away. I'm not exactly an arachnophobe, but there's something about stepping outside for your morning smoke and coffee and finding your lounge chair occupied by a spider roughly the size of your hand that just sort of starts the day off on a sour note. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ryan Posted November 19, 2015 Share Posted November 19, 2015 Aren't most tarantulas basically harmless. We have birds, you have lizards, seems an interesting trade-off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
piranesi Posted November 19, 2015 Share Posted November 19, 2015 Poor lizards. Their army shall get revenge. There is a veritable army of reptiles in our yard. Runs about 85% blue-tailed skinks, 13% horned toads, 1 1/2 % alligator lizards, and last but certainly not least because they get to be HUGE if they survive a couple of cat summers, chuckwallas (which I seem to recall as being the largest species in North America. I'm actually rather fond of the lizards as they do an excellent job of keeping the tarantulas away. I'm not exactly an arachnophobe, but there's something about stepping outside for your morning smoke and coffee and finding your lounge chair occupied by a spider roughly the size of your hand that just sort of starts the day off on a sour note. Where do yo fucking live The Lost World? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ryan Posted November 20, 2015 Share Posted November 20, 2015 New Mexico, same thing. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OSJ Posted November 20, 2015 Author Share Posted November 20, 2015 New Mexico, same thing. Pretty much... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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