Grand Theft Auto V Talk.

[J.T.]

I hate tanker missions. Esp after that one that we did that was reminiscient of that story. I know i have driven a tanker around for at least 20 minutes tryinf to shake the po-po.

 

Neutron Dance by the Pointer Sisters always plays in my head when I am driving the rig in a hijack the tanker mission because of:

 

 

I even have the GTA version of Axel's outfit in my wardrobe (Black tank top, olive cargo pants, and classic white kicks.)

[Robert C]

Sorry I had to bail out on y'all yesterday.  Wife's birthday trumps GTA though. 

 

I got into a server with JT and melraz who were surrounded and deeply into kill all white dots mode.  They had somebody cornered in a parking garage, and I was right outside it taking cover after blowing up a personal vehicle inside the impound lot, when I saw somebody in GSF colors run past.  I fired about 10 shots before I realized "Shit!  That's JT!"  He got me back later with an accidental insta-kill punch to the back of the head while were both trying to take out another guy.  Apparently everybody in this game has mastered some kind of Shaolin Fist of Death, because a basic punch is equivalent to a headshot from a Barrett M82.

 

I was on the server for maybe 20 minutes, blew up 6 personal vehicles, and still managed to get my bonus for good behavior. Last 2 dudes were tough though.  Both were up on me when we left to start doing missions.

[Dolfan in NYC]

Okay.... here is the deal.

It's me, Dan, Andrew and Dolfan - we were getting nothing we liked so after two refreshes we were still stuck with shit so we ended up doing Gassed Up or some mission with Gas in the title. (I think - THINK - we picked it because one of the group had never done it.)

So fucking Lamar is all "Yo Yo Yo Playa (in my mind - Lamar and Teddy Long would be fast friends). I need ur help. Go get this tanker and slaughter a lot of cops and swear a bunch and then we will go to Sizzler"

 

[edit... 45 minutes later]

 

Fuck Lamar

This was the greatest/worst mission ever.  I cannot express how fun it was getting cheered on losing 2 stars in the mountains by the oil field and nearly getting killed TWICE on the way back down to the truck.

 

And when it rained... oh god.  By the end, this was me:

 

Oh by the way, the payout:  1200 RP, $2500.  Fuck you Lamar.   

[J.T.]

Sorry I had to bail out on y'all yesterday.  Wife's birthday trumps GTA though. 

 

If Mom ain't happy, no one is happy, my friend.  To say that you did the right thing is a severe understatement.

 

I got into a server with JT and melraz who were surrounded and deeply into kill all white dots mode.  They had somebody cornered in a parking garage, and I was right outside it taking cover after blowing up a personal vehicle inside the impound lot, when I saw somebody in GSF colors run past.  I fired about 10 shots before I realized "Shit!  That's JT!"  He got me back later with an accidental insta-kill punch to the back of the head while were both trying to take out another guy.  Apparently everybody in this game has mastered some kind of Shaolin Fist of Death, because a basic punch is equivalent to a headshot from a Barrett M82.

 

I was on the server for maybe 20 minutes, blew up 6 personal vehicles, and still managed to get my bonus for good behavior. Last 2 dudes were tough though.  Both were up on me when we left to start doing missions.

 

Yeah, I messed around and got too close trying to cover you.  I have eaten elbows from Fresh, Dan, and Rippa before while getting too close while they are in the act of shooting.

 

And those two guys we fought in Little Portola were serious customers.  Nickname Macho was definitely the better of the two and having access to a minigun made it worse.  I made the other guy tap out after two shotgun ambushes but we were even stevens at four kills a piece.  Apparently I made a good impression because my Good Player % rose up to 45% from 37%, so at least one of them put me on his Preferred Player list.

 

I think that Macho was about to drill me right when I bounced sessions to hook up with Rippa.  I saw the bullets from his minigun tear through my clone as I headed up into the cloud.  Very surreal.  I half expected Cris Formage or aliens to appear in mid air.

[J.T.]

I remmeber when Mark and I chased a fucking blue Coquette for over an hour, so I am in the Fuck Simeon camp rather than the Fuck Lamar camp.

[Robert C]

I'd guess the Fuck Simeon sentiment is pretty much universal.  Lamar is a close second though.  There's a reason everybody spams Martin and Lester jobs.  Even Ron has a few good ones.

[RIPPA]

Yeah - I still haven't done Richman in Richmond (I think that is the name of it) because I know it is a Simeon mission and I have no desire to spend 30 minutes chasing a car all over the God Damn map.

 

Yeah - Martin's missions are also fun to spam when you can do like Death From Above where Dan dropped me off at the sniping point, I dropped the dude, Dolfan got the picture, I instantly died to eliminate the wanted level and then I strolled over the two blocks to drop off everything.

 

It was like 3 minutes of work for like 20K

[odessasteps]

I react poorly when i see the word Coquette in a mission description.

[Robert C]

Yeah - I still haven't done Richman in Richmond (I think that is the name of it) because I know it is a Simeon mission and I have no desire to spend 30 minutes chasing a car all over the God Damn map.

 

Yeah - Martin's missions are also fun to spam when you can do like Death From Above where Dan dropped me off at the sniping point, I dropped the dude, Dolfan got the picture, I instantly died to eliminate the wanted level and then I strolled over the two blocks to drop off everything.

 

It was like 3 minutes of work for like 20K

 

No chasing in that one, if I remember correctly.  Just steal two parked cars from a mansion and take them back.  Hardest thing is losing the wanted level.

 

Of course, if the clown that tries to hack the gate can't get it open for 20 minutes, and the game won't let anybody other than him try after he's started, then you're still screwed.  That's one of only 2 times I've intentionally failed a mission - in that case to put us all out of our misery.

[J.T.]

Yeah, Rich Man in Richman is where Mark earned designated crew hacker status for getting the gate open in under thirty seconds.

 

I lost the cops in record time in my usual shake off spot on that side of town:  the parking garage at the Von Crastenburg Hotel where Franklin does his first assassination job for Lester.  I think it took poor Mark like five minutes to shake the law.

[odessasteps]

Not a problem now since i will just call Lester.

How many missions eber have hacking? That one and the one where you crack the safe and steal the boat?

[jstout]

Okay.... here is the deal.

It's me, Dan, Andrew and Dolfan - we were getting nothing we liked so after two refreshes we were still stuck with shit so we ended up doing Gassed Up or some mission with Gas in the title. (I think - THINK - we picked it because one of the group had never done it.)

So fucking Lamar is all "Yo Yo Yo Playa (in my mind - Lamar and Teddy Long would be fast friends). I need ur help. Go get this tanker and slaughter a lot of cops and swear a bunch and then we will go to Sizzler" ...

So tremendously epic. Fantabulous.

 

Whenever I'm getting chased by the cops in a mission, I at least try to call Lester - sometimes he'll pick up,sometimes he won't. He'll pick up, for example, in the one where you hack into the police garage and steal their two cars and deliver them to Simeon's. (I forgot the name of the mission).

 

I hate running from cops, it's one of my least-favorite things to do. It's hard for them to catch you (usually), but it's hard for you to shake them, so you wind up running from them for 45 minutes. I've gotten so tired of running from them before I let them shoot me.

 

And the Del Perro Pier survival is probably 10 times harder than Boneyard. It's not impossible, but the helicopters are extra-dangerous because there's no real good cover and it just seems like things get ultra-serious around Wave 8. We had four people die in a span of about 10 seconds once on Level 10.

 

Two people can finish Boneyard with absolutely no problem at all. I've done the Pier survival with two people, but the other guy I was playing it with (a random) was a freaking GTA savant who was just Taking Care of Freakin' Business while I sat slack-jawed.

 

Now finish the Industrial Plant one.

 

And as for clothes, hey, you wouldn't catch Ric Flair coming out on Saturday night on TBS in board shorts and flip flops. You're a champ, a member of the Best Damn Crew in GTA, gotta dress the part.

[J.T.]

Not a problem now since i will just call Lester.

How many missions eber have hacking? That one and the one where you crack the safe and steal the boat?

 

Five so far including the one you mentioned and most of them are for Lester.

 

The others are:

 

- Rich Man in Richman (hack the gate to steal the cars)

- Los Santos Connection (hack the laptop for the info about the final location of the cocaine smuggling ring)

- Hack & Dash (hack the lock on the garage to steal the FiB prototype vehicles)

- Stocks & Scares (hack lock on the safe for the files on Merryweather)

[odessasteps]

Thats the one i mentioned. Thats when you stole the Mesa IIRC

[J.T.]

And as for clothes, hey, you wouldn't catch Ric Flair coming out on Saturday night on TBS in board shorts and flip flops. You're a champ, a member of the Best Damn Crew in GTA, gotta dress the part.

 

I am Dusty Rhodes, man.  The humble son of a plumber who just happens to be the HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPEEEN OF THE WOOOOOORLLLDDD~!

 

i have dined in banquet halls with kings and queens and sat in alleyways eatin' pork & beans, brotha.

[J.T.]

Thats the one i mentioned. Thats when you stole the Mesa IIRC

 

There are three Merryweather opposition missions I can think of where you can cheat to get one of their custom Mesas:  Stocks & Scares, Titan of a Job,  and Dry Docking (the other hacking mission you mentioned that I finally remembered the name for).\

 

I am sure there are probably more.

 

I know that even after the 1.11 patch, you could own one by putting a tracker on it and buying insurance for it even when you got the "You Cannot Store This Vehicle In Your Garage" prompt, but then you weren't able to sell the Mesa either. 

 

Not sure if this changed in more recent updates.

 

I used to drive my Mesa around a lot, but now it sits in my garage as a trophy.

[odessasteps]

If only there was a Skoal jacket or Mello Yello t-shirt for you to wear in the game.

[J.T.]

I would like to see more of the letterman style jacket clothing options that Franklin has show up in the Online game.

[AxB]

For the longest time, I'd never had a Five Star wanted level. Like, not ever. Then ne day last week, I did Judging the Jury with one other guy (who was level 50-odd). Got my Buzzard to make sure we finished... and then when I'd killed the last guy and you've just got to lose your stars, I had 4. Shot down the Police Helicopter than was chasing me and crash landed on a hill in the countryside. Shot down a few more police Choppers (got a Gold achievement for it) and a few police cars as well and noticed I'd gained a star instead of losing them. Then the other guy finshed the mission.

He had 9 kills. I had 42.

That Coveted nine times playlist still works. Did it with a random level 11 guy last night, and he was up to 15 by the time we finished, and $160,000 better off. Then I did it again because Riot and Whale needed money too. If there actually isn't anything super expensive in the High Life update, I'm going to have to buy a Vestra or something.

[jstout]

"I don't have to say a lot more about the way I feel about StickyBudz420. No respect. No honor! There is no honor among thieves in the first place! He put hard times on Kid SixXx and his family! You don't know what hard times are, daddy! Hard times are when the textile workers around this country are out of work! They got four or five kids and can't pay their wages, can't buy their food!

Hard times are when the auto workers are out of work and they tell them "Go home". And hard times are when a man has worked at a job for thirty years. THIRTY years! They give him a watch, kick him in the butt, and say "Hey, a computer took your place, daddy!" That's hard times! That's hard times. And StickyBudz420, you put hard times on Los Santos by taking Kid SixXx out."

[jstout]

Oh yeah, my favorite in-game utterance lately was when a couple of guys were trying to take me out a few days ago near the most expensive apartment in the game (for now) and I managed to shoot them and said "they come to snuff the Rooster, but he ain't gonna die." Melraz was puzzled, but RUkered immediately joined in on a singalong while Mel doubted our sanity.

[Robert C]

Oh yeah, my favorite in-game utterance lately was when a couple of guys were trying to take me out a few days ago near the most expensive apartment in the game (for now) and I managed to shoot them and said "they come to snuff the Rooster, but he ain't gonna die." Melraz was puzzled, but RUkered immediately joined in on a singalong while Mel doubted our sanity.

 

I must've joined right after that, because I remember wondering why y'all were singing Alice in Chains songs.

 

Any time there's a bunch of us in a mission where we're all lining up sniper shots, I always get McManus' Old McDonald bit from Usual Suspects.going through my head.

[Robert C]

 

I used to drive my Mesa around a lot, but now it sits in my garage as a trophy.

 

 

I'm the same way about my Mesa.  I almost never use it.  I just like knowing it's there.

[J.T.]

Oh yeah, my favorite in-game utterance lately was when a couple of guys were trying to take me out a few days ago near the most expensive apartment in the game (for now) and I managed to shoot them and said "they come to snuff the Rooster, but he ain't gonna die." Melraz was puzzled, but RUkered immediately joined in on a singalong while Mel doubted our sanity.

 

We have uttered the iconic Chris Storm catchphrase, "Sorry about your damn luck," that it has become the unofficial 360 Crew motto.

[J.T.]

 

Oh yeah, my favorite in-game utterance lately was when a couple of guys were trying to take me out a few days ago near the most expensive apartment in the game (for now) and I managed to shoot them and said "they come to snuff the Rooster, but he ain't gonna die." Melraz was puzzled, but RUkered immediately joined in on a singalong while Mel doubted our sanity.

 

I must've joined right after that, because I remember wondering why y'all were singing Alice in Chains songs.

 

Any time there's a bunch of us in a mission where we're all lining up sniper shots, I always get McManus' Old McDonald bit from Usual Suspects.going through my head.

 

i love that bit. 

 

In the minutes when we are talking about tactics before a job and sighting down on targets, I always think of Theo from Die Hard.

 

"T'was the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring.  EXCEPT FOR THE FOUR MERRYWEATHER ASSHOLES NEAR THE TITAN~!"