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MARCH 2016 - WRESTLING DISCUSSION


RIPPA
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I got hit with a kneeling piledriver on grass in about 6th grade, it knocked me pretty much loopy. My greatest "match" however, was this time we were goofing around in about 11th grade. This dude who was a pretty legit badass started roughing me up and I slid between his legs and hit him in the small of the back. He went down and I slapped a major league cross-face chicken wing on him. It was over. We played it all cool like we were just messing around (because this dude could have literally destroyed me easily) but I got enough cred to where nobody messed with me much after that. 

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Roman and Cena seem like they'd be cool dudes to hang out with. That doesn't translate at all into their on-screen characters.

 

I think Cena's does, but his biggest problem is the corporate structure of WWE does not allow him to ever change his character. Nobody would like to see a heel turn or something different more than me but guess what? If it were my money on the line, I don't think I would change his character either. There's too much at stake. 

 

The Reigns thing has been botchamania from the Shield breakup, well documented by many on this board. 

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My friends were screwing around during recess and one guy locked the other one in a full nelson and of course being the dork I am I couldn't miss this chance so I chopped him and somehow that almost knocked him out.

 

 

 

Uhm. Wrestling. In March 2016. Yes...

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I never wrestled with any of my friends, but I had a 4 foot tall stuffed animal Dog (Sandy the Dog) that I would do moves on all the time as a little kid.

 

Would throw all the couch cushions on the ground and perform top rope moves from the arm of the couch on that poor stuffed animal all night long after my Mom went to bed.

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I was in a straight up trampoline fed in jr. high. We were all about work rate...and fucked up high angle suplexes that SHOULD have crippled any one of us because hey....WRESTLING!

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I had this big ass Cookie Monster stuffed animal I would wrestle, and it took great bumps. The only problem was his eyes. He has these giant plastic eyes that would bust your mouth if you landed wrong on a splash or powerbombed him with too much vigor.

My Macho King wrestling buddy (which I still have) was much more cooperative, but was like a third of the size.

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I once won a fight with the Texas Cloverleaf- which I thought was the scorpion back then, but I ended up doing a Cloverleaf instead.

 

I don't remember it, but apparently I tried to do a figure 4 during a barfight, but I couldn't do it.  Maybe I should have borrowed Disco's notes.

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My personal claim to fame is knowing how to make the figure 4 actually hurt (put the crossed leg above the knee cap)

 

When I was about 10, I thought wrestlers were stupid for doing the convoluted figure four when (as I discovered on my younger brother) the Nagata Lock was much easier to apply and yielded a significantly higher tapout rate.

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I had a friend do the "fake handshake and then punch your opponent" thing during a fight. He and a guy got into it at a party and then sort of called a truce. My friend put his hand out and when the other guy went to shake, my buddy clocked him. My friend was kind of an asshole when he drank.

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I powerbombed a three-foot tall stuffed Mickey Mouse onto a collapsible toy activity table in a Disney Store in Knoxville TN.

Its head fell off.

Chants of "Holy shit!" from the customer base could not be confirmed.

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I powerbombed a three-foot tall stuffed Mickey Mouse onto a collapsible toy activity table in a Disney Store in Knoxville TN.

Its head fell off.

Chants of "Holy shit!" from the customer base could not be confirmed.

 

"You fucked up! You fucked up! You fucked up!"

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I've got a friend who runs a record label, and a year or so ago I was at a festival helping him with some stuff backstage. Suddenly, he called me over to help repair a ricketty looking decorating table he'd been using to sell merch on. I'd barely had time to tell him it was just about fixed when he told the drummer from one of his bands to run at him, and gave him a straight-up Arn Anderson spinebuster through the table.

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We had a big couch in the basement were I could shoot myself into the corner where the armrest meets the rest of the couch and do the "Flair flip" spot, where he flips up the turnbuckles and lands on his feet on the apron. My mom saw me do it once and was convinced I was somewhere on "the spectrum" because of how perfectly I could do a lot of spots. Sometimes I'd let my sister pop up and clothesline me from the other side of the couch after I flipped. Also, I've been doing Krav Maga for about 6 yrs. now, and I've ended more than one sparring session with a Texas Cloverleaf. 

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