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Rampage - 9/2/2022


Gordlow
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Trios Thingy Rampage Finals! Hanger and The Dark Orders vs los Besties

Will this match get tons of time, too? It is likely to be a very different kind of trios match than Kenny and the Bucks vs Ospreay and The Aussies. I am hoping it's a pretty great match, just because I think it would be interesting to see who votes for this one and who votes for the Trios Thingy Dynamite Finals on DEAN's poll if they are both good but stylistically different. Workhorsemen vs Lo & Sawyer already has my vote sewn up, because commentary made Maki Ito jokes during that match. And also, considering the whole Bear Country debacle, JD Drake is all I have left. Well. Not entirely. There are a few other things I have left, if I really think about it. 

Handsome Ricky vs Cutie Marshall

Hey! Ricky Starks got a profile piece on The Ringer, which is the home of the best pro wrestling listicles on the web! But Phil didn't write the Starks piece, so who knows if it is any good. I'm saving it for later. I have an hour to kill between lessons this evening. The article will help kill a few minutes, pleasantly, I bet. 

https://www.theringer.com/2022/8/31/23330688/ricky-starks-aew-all-out-profile

I think this match will be full of character work, if it isn't a squash. I like matches that are full of character work, generally speaking.

America's Sweethearts Tay and Sammy vs Ortiz and Ruby

Only 3 matches announced as far as I can tell. Will the 4th match be a ladies match? Maybe Maki Ito? Or does the mixed tag count as this week's lone ladies pro wres match? Ito and JD should form a mixed tag!

Mark Henry sits down with Jade and Athena

Presumably they will also speak! Didn't we hear from Jade last week? 

Come to think of it, didn't we watch Tay and Sammy vs Ortiz and Ruby last week, too? I think that counted as the lone ladies bout last week. It's impossible to click on individual pages on this board while using my tablet now, so I am not going to go back and check. But I am pretty sure.

Site also won't let me post pictures from my tablet any more, otherwise I would post an amusing gif here. Maybe Keanu saying "Whoa!" In reference to things happening twice in successive weeks. Oh boy, that gif would have been amusing. Or maybe an eye-roll in response to the mixed tag counting as a ladies match. It's half a ladies match at best. Give us two mixed tags! This one and also Maki & JD vs Willow & Fuego.

Lean into that WEIRD HEAT, Sammy and Tay! The people who hate you are just jealous cuz they ain't getting any.

Lean into your catchphrases, Jade Cargill. Dudes like me who aren't entertained by that are not going to quit watching.

Build toward that PPV, AEW! 

Speaking of which:

We'll hear from SioG and The Acclaimed

Tell us WHY you are fighting, so that we can * all *care about your tag team title match!

 

 

 

 

 

Make Bear Country Face Again!

 

Edited by Gordlow
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Oh man.  I just watched the last hour and twenty minutes of SMACKDOWN in real time.  That's PUNISHING.  It was underwhelming.  Will Rampage follow suit?  Let's find out.  RAMPAGE is live and Smackdown was taped.  ROLE REVERSAL!  IT"S A WRESTLE WAR!  We start off with the Rampage Trios Finish!  DANHAUSEN IS EJECTED!  I wonder who is putting these trios matches together.  I assume the Young Bucks lay all these out but maybe Orange Cassidy did this one since have a bit of fucking around at the beginning.  Maybe John Silver did because they do all these elaborate three way combinations.  Ah, sweet picture in picture.  There is nothing worse than having to watch commercials in real time.  John Silver is out face in peril for few seconds but he tags in Hangman after hitting a SWEET Brainbuster on Cassidy.  Hangman goes through a table!  Alex Reynolds is wrestling way over his head!  John Silver is ON FIRE!  Crazy Lariat by Silver.  They do that Ant Finisher that Cassidy had in Chikara!  Hangman makes the save!  Jericho has BEEF with Orihara!  This match is crazy.  It's not the athletic spectacle that the United Empire matches were, but it's more AN INSANE AMOUNT OF NEARFALLS UNTIL JOHN SILVER ROLLS UP CHUCK TAYLOR TO WIN!  That was a LOT of stuff crammed into 13 minutes.  Key memory is a GREAT Spear by Trent on Hangman.  Rey Fenix?  Hmmm.  Hey!  It's Blake Christian!  Rey Fenix is just showing off.  Blake Christian  gets MURDERED by Rey Fenix's Speed K-Driller!  That was a LOT of stuff crammed in a three minute match.  Sammy Guevara is so awesome having such a punchable face and THEN having Ortiz punching him in the face.  The crowd POPS when Ruby kicks Tay while on the apron!  Then we go to picture in picture!  Oh man,  Ruby versus Tay is AWESOME.  Tay is fucking awesome EVIL.  Sammy is awesome EVIL beating down Ortiz.  This match is fucking great.  It's got actual HEAT.  Man, Sammy is a fucking HEAT MACHINE.  Ruby is on FIRE!  Ruby versus Tay is fucking awesome.  They are the ladies version of Kenny versus Ospreay!  So fucking great.  Ortiz kept making the ugliest faces on earth while Ruby Soho rolls up Tay for win!  PUT THE BELTS ON THEM!  How come the Chicago Baby didn't make the Punk/Moxley video package?  The adorable baby.  The Motor City Machine Guns go all HEEL!  I don't think they have been heels in a while.  They looked like they were having fun heating up their match.  What a strange main event.  QT Marshall bumps like a total freak.  Ricky Starks is over everywhere he goes.  Ricky mangles his kneck on a superplex!  QT Marshall is really good.  COLE KARTER IS A KING FOR LEANING INTO THAT LARIAT!  The crowd is wondering why they are watching QT Marshall.  They do get into Starks hitting a Rochambeau!  Hobbs runs in!  PULL APART!  Danielson shows up to shut Jericho's smart mouth!  Well, that was fun.  Two good matches and a bunch of fun stuff.  That was a lot of stuff CRAMMED into one hour.  AEW RULES THE ENTIRE MOTHERFUCKING WORLD!

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Opener was such a silly do-si-do of a match but really fun. It was also about as fast as the (reads names)... uhhh Butch Coolidge vs. Kaiser Wilhelm match over on Smackdown. Main was a good brawl. Athena snapped on Jade too. It was fun.

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Now! That's What I Call Wrestling: Rampage Edition

Really loved this start to finish, Fenix kneeing Blake Christian real quick like before the Driller was a very nice little touch. Platinum Satnam and the Bob Backlund Authorized PCS Reunion Squad's promo was a great promo. If you give me Dutt and Satnam and MCMG, it's just enough to overlook Jay Lethal being there.

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1 minute ago, Curt McGirt said:

Yeah we need a Fenix/Blake Christian vs. Karrion Kross/Drew Gulak Battle of the Squashes poll. That was some mean times for two of those guys tonight.

Blake got in that Tope Con Hilo but also took a SUPER nasty K-Driller while Drew Gulak to take SUPER nasty Backdrop Driver but didn't really get anything in.   I'd have to give it to Fenix/Christian.

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2 minutes ago, porksweats said:

Now! That's What I Call Wrestling: Rampage Edition

Really loved this start to finish, Fenix kneeing Blake Christian real quick like before the Driller was a very nice little touch. Platinum Satnam and the Bob Backlund Authorized PCS Reunion Squad's promo was a great promo. If you give me Dutt and Satnam and MCMG, it's just enough to overlook Jay Lethal being there.

It's just right now dawning on me how fucking insane that episode was.  That was like they crammed an entire episode of RAW into 60 minutes of Rampage.  Tony Khan must have been strapped to a table in the back screaming, "YOU! BLAKE CHRISTIAN!  GO PUT OVER REY FENIX!  THREE MINUTES!  YOU GET A HIGH SPOT!!  MOVE IT! MOVE IT!  YOU!  COLE KARTER!  TAKE A HIDEOUS LARIAT! NOW MOVE MOVE!"

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Good Lord that Ringer Starks profile was awful! I had an hour to kill but I couldn't finish that damn thing. Starks seems like an interesting guy, but that piece was egregiously over-written. Faulkner quotes? Are you f'n kidding me?

Also: What a wasted opportunity. The obvious thing to do was to hold a celebration of Mox's 9 (or whatever) days of being undisputed AEW champ, then have Punk run in and interrupt the celebration and beat up Shota Umino. That would have put some butts in seats.

I was gonna say, "never should have changed Bear Country's name!" like that's why this company is dying... but I am already sick and tired of that gimmick (even though I genuinely loved Bear Country just the way they were and don't like the name "Iron Savages." I really don't get how the hater gimmicks keep it up week after week. It's tiresome. 

 Anyway, breaking gimmick: This was an enjoyable hour of professional wrestling. As always. We got All Heart vs Fenix as a bonus match! Maybe having QT Marshall in the main  event of a "go-home" show was a heat-check. He's a good wrestler and it was a good match, but he's pretty clearly not a big main event star. 

I think the PPV will be kind of an AEW heat-check.

My guess is they are going to be within a certain range of same-day US TV viewers and a certain number of PPV buys no matter what they do.

Putting a YouTube guy in the main event or giving a premium live event level championship opportunity away for free on TV, they will be within a certain range. Booking everything carefully and culminating a compelling long-term story or three, or haphazardly hucking stuff against the wall and seeing what sticks, they will be within a certain range of buys.

They have their market (hard-core pro wrestling fans) all sewn up. And that market is big enough to easily keep the ball rolling. And the arenas full. And the crowds white-hot. It's a success story. Pretending it's not must be tiresome.

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On 9/1/2022 at 6:55 PM, Gordlow said:

 

We'll hear from SioG and The Acclaimed

Tell us WHY you are fighting, so that we can * all *care about your tag team title match!

 

 

See I'm #TeamSteph  on this one. AEW does a lot of things well but they could be better at world building. I actually enjoy the promo pieces they do but feel they could be better utilized. 

That being said I do feel that this episode did a good job of "setting the table"  for the PPV. Kinda feels like one of those "Summerslam Spectaculars" where the main event was Yoko squashing Hacksaw before the PPV. 

 

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