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Noah Mark

Your 2019 Internet Matches Thread

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Allright!  It's HEAT UP versus Active Advance Pro Wrestling.  Kanehira is your HEAT UP all star. Tank Nagai is your vaguely familiar Active Advance all star.

 

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Oh man, the BASARA! Monkey Boys take on three of the scuzzier members of DOVE Pro Wrestling.  The only way this could be more indie is if Goro Tsurumi sent a mummy army to destroy the building.

 

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They should have worked a knockout spot when the dreadlocked crusty dude threw his crotch in the one monkey boy's face. That had to reek. 

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BASARA! versus DDT!  This has Takeshita in it so it's good.  

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Hey!  Phil Brown will punch you dead in the face- in an awesome Southern Wrestling way.

 

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Yuji Hino and his ever expanding outy vs. Asuka from the Fire Festival. 

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Future fantasy Contra Squad member, Katuhiko Nakajima, takes on GHC champion, Kaito Kiyomiya.

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HAYATA takes on Tadasuke for the semi-final of the Junior tournament.

 

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Posted (edited)

Good lord... I was skipping around in that video and it was, like, all of Nakajima stiffing the ever loving shit out of Kiyomiya until the latter almost kills a man with that comeback German suplex. If Nakajima had landed slightly differently that could've been really ugly (38:40 mark). I don't think I like NOAH much.

Edited by Oyaji
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I love that Kiyomiya is so King's Road that he even does a Neckbreaker Drop... and I love even more that Nakajima is such a Capital-P Prick that when Kiyomiya does the Misawa plancha fakeout he kicks his leg out from under his leg so he smacks the back of his head on the apron. 

What I don't love is that 

Spoiler

Nakajima can eat your lunch the entire match and then all of the sudden you get an opening, do a couple suplexes and win. Fuck that shit. Let Nakajima hit that final headkick and give him the belt. 

 

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Awesome!  Go Shiozaki against Hideki Suzuki.

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Some Dragon Gate!  R.E.D. vs a wad of super strong machines.  FOR THE BELTS!

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Chris Ridgeway in NOAH!

 

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On 8/2/2019 at 1:03 PM, Oyaji said:

Good lord... I was skipping around in that video and it was, like, all of Nakajima stiffing the ever loving shit out of Kiyomiya until the latter almost kills a man with that comeback German suplex. If Nakajima had landed slightly differently that could've been really ugly (38:40 mark). I don't think I like NOAH much.

NOAH's always good for a bit of the ultra-violence, a lot of their stuff is pretty cringe-worthy.                                                                                                

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But the structure of the match was dumb, as Curt pointed out. Nakajima killed him for 98% of the match and then Kiyomiya hits some suplexes and wins. It was not only dangerous but poorly structured with little emotion brought out of the crowd. That's my main complaint with NOAH is that it's often times just dangerous for the sake of being dangerous in front of largely dead crowds and empty seats with little thought put into it.

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Marufuji versus Kotaro Suzuki from earlier today.

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Lumpy NOAH guys beating the crap out of each other.

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Enjoy some Dragon Gate undercard from earlier today.

 

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Posted (edited)

Watch Blue Demon Jr. do the only two great things in his whole worthless career: 

1. Blow blood out of his head like Wally Yamaguchi cut him and 

2. Come after Doc with a freakin claw hammer (even though AAA has to be themselves and AAA the hell out of it with a looooooong crowd shot)

Edited by DEAN
Changed the link.- Dean
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Posted (edited)
On 8/3/2019 at 2:38 PM, DEAN said:

Awesome!  Go Shiozaki against Hideki Suzuki.

 

This was good and different from the usual NOAH. Way more mat-based so not just two guys pounding on each other (though it is a Go match, so he blasts Suzuki red anyway, though Suzuki takes the interesting tact of trying to block the chops). Hideki reminds me of another Suzuki, that being Minoru, in that he is old-school as hell (uses the sleeper too, and even Dory Funk Jr.'s backbreaker) and condescending as hell with lots of gesturing and pithy face kicks to a downed Go. When he sells he looks like he's gonna fall apart and it's hilarious. 

Spoiler

Also, the match ends in a time limit draw?! That's pretty unexpected too. 

Oh, and you do get at least one memory-destroying suplex. It's NOAH. You know the drill.

Edited by Curt McGirt
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Cain Velasquez, Cody Rhodes & Psyho Clown vs Texano Jr, Taurus & Killer Cross.

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Now THIS is just two guys battering each other. Given what happened to Shibata I don't know why they still bother with the headbutts but at least they weren't really gross this time out. The throat chops on the other hand... Also, maybe I just never noticed, but either Juice is way taller than I thought or Ishii's way shorter. 

Too funny not to post. Everyone having a meltdown over the result just makes it better. Mox's reaction at the end had me laughing for a good minute straight.

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2 hours ago, Curt McGirt said:

 Also, maybe I just never noticed, but either Juice is way taller than I thought or Ishii's way shorter. 

 

I don't know how tall Juice is but Ishii is tiny, I'd eyeball him at about 5'6.

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Juicey Boy is billed at 6'3" while Ishii is 5'7". You were close! 

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This is a fun little match.  I assume the Junta mini-push is over.

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I have seen the future of Lucha Libre and it is giant fatboys-  Kraneo and Volcano,  being technico mattresses for high-flying, athletic rudos to land on.  (Mije is present but completely invisible.)

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Awesome.  The Cancerbero gang is on the tv.

 

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On 8/4/2019 at 4:03 PM, Curt McGirt said:

Watch Blue Demon Jr. do the only two great things in his whole worthless career: 

1. Blow blood out of his head like Wally Yamaguchi cut him and 

2. Come after Doc with a freakin claw hammer (even though AAA has to be themselves and AAA the hell out of it with a looooooong crowd shot)

Geez louise!  That was a bloodbath.

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More Hideki Suzuki in NOAH, in the dream tagteam with Sugiura.

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This match is awesome.  My sleazy indie match of the year.

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This is wild.  This could get really fun.

 

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On 8/4/2019 at 3:03 PM, Curt McGirt said:

Edited 6 hours ago by DEAN
Changed the link.- Dean

Just noticed this, thanks! AAA's WCW reaction to the hammer is now gone for those wanting to see the full violence action.

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6 hours ago, DEAN said:

More Hideki Suzuki in NOAH, in the dream tagteam with Sugiura.

 

Awww, these four have a better match in them. Suzuki and Tanaguchi look like brothers. Them against each other should be like a fight at Thanksgiving.

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HAYATA won tourney so he gets a shot at Minoru Tanaka's belt.

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Good golly!  The lucha tradition of bleeding through the white mask.

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Another title match for the belts! Kinda.

 

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So Denver is the North Carolina of the West.  This is like a old OMEGA match- if only the crowd was drinking beer and smoking cigarettes as opposed to drinking beer and smoking weed.

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Jayzeus!  This is perfectly fine lucha opening match until at 11:50 when Espiritu Maligno OPTS to hit a fucking full-blown Chris Hamrick bump to the floor.  So fucking balls out.

EDIT:  Also hang around for Volador Jr out-highflying fricking Dragon Lee.

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