assfax

These are the only things I don't like about New Super Mario U. The whole saving thing is mostly fine but really, if you get all the star coins it should just ask you if you want to save. That would alleviate all my qualms. Once you beat King Koopa this is all moot but when I was going through I'd've liked it. When you glide with the squirrel suit, after flying, if you let off all the buttons it doesn't drop Mario quickly. He does a wimpy little flap thing. You can cancel out of it with a ground pound but I really think that suit could've been better. It drops you correctly if you just glide. Needed more of the interesting boss fights. Basically, if it was just a straight ass Koopa Kid, the boss fight was easy as a motherfucker. All the bosses need to be as interesting as Bowser Jr. and the big sumo guy. If you use the pro controller, the spin is on the little shoulder button instead of the trigger. I really would've rather had it on the trigger.

I'm also a Damn I am Good shirt owner. Great for every occasion.

Some drunk guy ordered a Wii U and sent it to my house last week. Since then I've been vultching on any deal I get a whiff of. I got a brand new pro controller for 12 bucks at best buy. Then, toys r us had a buy 1 get the other one 40% off deal so I just went ahead and preordered Mario 3D world and new Link to the past. Even though they almost queered the deal with HORSESHIT sales tax. I would never fucking preorder. It's a scam. So why did I do it? Fuck you.I still think it should be called Super Mario World 3D.NSMB U is god damned good and making NSMB2 look like hot dogshit on dew covered grass. It has the magic. Fucking d-pad on this big honking controller is the best fucking d-pad nintendo has put out in years. Buttons are good too. Everything is squishy but not shitty like PS3 start button. Last great d-pad and buttons were original GBA. Once they started in on that clicky horseshit it was all down th' shitter.Like, the controller feels so fucking good I'm almost tempted to get super metroid even though I have the real cartridge and could also just as easily play it on emulator with an N64 controller. Someone will get drunk.

I had a Dreamcast that wouldn't read discs and fixed it by taking it apart and tightening a deal. Look for dreamcast laser recalibration. Pretty simple, no proprietary screwdriver. Also helps to have 3 dreamcasts just in case.

Only thing I hated about that new Splinter Cell was that there were only 3 movement speeds. The slowest one isn't slow enough. I originally beat the old games on fat Xbox and the analog movement was good. Then I replayed the first 3 on PC and the mousewheel movement speed was godly. Like holy shit. You never feel super duper sneaky when you're about to pounce on a dude on the new one. I thought it was just because I was going keyboard that I wasn't getting the full range. Nope. This is like when you replay Metal Gear Solid and realize that the analog didn't do shit.

SkyUI was the single most useful thing when I played it. I have no idea if the official high resolution textures were better than the fan made ones. Last time I played Skyrim was back in February of 2012. I also remember Quality World Map and a mod that added in a clock on loading screens. Really though, the most important mod is that one that adds dangling wieners to trolls.

I can't believe they didn't have even a hint of that rat cave in Iceman.

Also, this was when I first started, I'm Franklin, at the first house, and I'm just walking outside getting a feel for how it controls. I'm jamming on the jump button and laughing at the quasi-realistic physics. I climb up onto a hedge then inadvertently jump onto two people sitting on their porch. This kills them because money pops out. Cops are alerted. I think I can just hide inside the "safe house". WRONG. That is when I learned the pigs will come into your goddamned house. They is dogged.I've got maybe 12 hours in and I'm at the submarine deal. Well, I mean, I don't know how to gauge progress. I thought I was looking for spaceship parts and then I find a tiny fragment of a serial killer confession.I also want more of these Lester missions so I can do more insider trading.Some games I hold back on just so I make sure they last. I'm probably making a mistake by not drinking in as much as I can every chance I get with this motherfucker.Goddamn game is a Goddamned madman.

Newer movie thoughtsLords of Salem: I wanted to see Meg Foster naked, and I did, finally. Also, I cannot lie, when Dee Wallace raised that castiron, I got a chub. Mostly the movie left me bored. The two parts where they have a midget in a costume I laughed profusely. Music video excesses also drag shit down. Also, witch was totally gozer.ICEMAN: Pretty much a perfect movie. Everybody in it was perfect. Now obviously I loved the Iceman book and it still kicks the everlovin' shit out of this film. STILL GOOD. I mean I could've sworn that he got busted at a pancake house without Jerry Lee Lewis's child bride. I hate that kind of shit where someone says the book was better but... NO FUCKING SHIT the book is better. Like, I ain't even bullshitting.

Every second of Belfast screamed "free dream vacation for Kurt Sutter!". That whole ending on the last season got my eyes rolling. Pretty simple. Cut th' bitch loose. Makes for bad TV but whatever. That also seemed like the kind of ending contract renegotiaters dream of. Is this back though? Part of me wants to watch each week like Game o' Thrones. The other part hates waiting and wants to splurge in February 2014. Either way, if anything interesting occurs, Google news will ruin it.PS NEW EASTBOUND NEXT SUNDAY

I'd say the only things I don't like about this are that it's nearly pointless to customize anything other than your default car and that the outlaw country radio station doesn't have enough songs. I'm also missing the godliness of Daptone radio from Sleeping Dogs. Classic rock station also underwhelms.No other game has captured that great thing where you hide in a dark alley or underpass and turn your headlights off to hide from the fuzz.OH. When the OST comes in while you sneak around setting up heists? GOOD.Mainly, the thing I hate most about this game is that I can't play it for sixteen hours straight and then go back to bed everyday.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MNYgGVQnuFANEW SOLSTICE

Man, I recall dude's saying they couldn't watch Eastbound & Down in front of their old ladies. I figured it got bad, but not this bad. I thought I was creepy after thinking that the redhead bitch from Sky High was insanely fuckable... CHECKS WIKIPEDIA... Well, send the cops over Then again, that's only five years younger than me. Then again JESUS CHRIST I'm getting to that point where they can be more than ten years younger and still utterly legal.

For me It'll always be that Hunter Hearst Helmsly guy turning into a main guy. Pedigree always looked like a wimpy move that old time lady wrestlers used. I know Andre did the gooch-style camel-toe neck breaker FUCK OFF.. Or maybe I don't understand the topic. Either way, HHH VERSE Batista Hell In A CELL is the best fight that the NWA never had.

They never got a better photo for Snoozer Quinn. He's one of those guys that got a toss-off mention in an old Guitar Player magazine that I never forgot about.

I still think the name Ripjaws sounds so insanely 90s. Like, wasn't he one of the Street Sharks?

Oh it's a turd alright. I at least gave a shit about doing some of the side shit in Brotherhood. On 3 I just burnt through the whole deal not even caring.

Make sure you have enough room and voltage to plug a bastard in. Make sure you don't get one of those videocards that's really only built for playing movies and shit. If all the user reviews mention HTPC, you probably don't want it. I got a GTX 650 off newegg for 90 bucks a few months ago. It's MSI so that's why it was under a hundred. That seems to be the cheapest good card of that whole nvidia bunch at this momemt. You go lower and you don't see savings, you go higher and it bumps up about 150 bucks for not that much power increase. Sometimes you get free game vouchers but that is mostly on cards over 150 bucks. If you see it has a rebate, and you want to get that rebate, be prepared to fuck around and then wait three months to see that 15-20 dollars. Even with a good card your CPU can still slow shit down. Mostly on big online deals with tons of players. I can't run planetside 2 with anything resembling a playable framerate. Good cards are going to hopefully get super cheap at the beginning of 2014 once the new consoles have been out for a minute.

Dude, Ribera Zubaz.

I'd see what it actually feels like in your hand first. I still think, even with a comfort grip, that the 3DS XL is kind of uncomfortable after a while.

I thought the secret was that everybody was buying Madden to get that Sunday Ticket shit and then just going to best buy cause they have a flat $45 dollar trade in rate until October 5th.

Those are shorts, when they go down to the knees they are pants.

Here's what I gotta say about 3DS. The only game where the 3D sucks is NSMB 2. The backgrounds just become blurry and it looks stupid. Mario 3D land is fucking amazing and that is a fact. Kid Icarus hurts my hand after a single level even with the stand. Mario & Luigi is the greatest SNES game of all time. The sprite animation on this fucker is goddamned amazing. Like, holy shit. Remember Xenogears? Well what if Nintendo aped that type of sprite/3d background thing. Woof. eshop purchases for full retail games is pointless. Like just recently the new Mario & Luigi game came out. I could've got the fucker by fifteen after midnight on that sunday morning. Problem was that it is 40 bucks for the digital version. I can go to a god damned wal-mart and get the game, with a case and actual physical cartridge for the exact same price. There is convenience but not anything that makes me actually want to pony up. Pretty much the only other thing that actually looks good for download is that Shantae sequel on DSiware. I keep eyeballing that Dillion's Rolling Western but then always get super turned off whenever I check out gameplay footage. I really have never played any of these games that are called tower defense. I recall that Assasins Creed Revelations shit was labeled such and I hated the shit out of that garbage. Every youtube video I look at is a big open valley and then you run into enemies and have a really shitty Okami battle for 2 minutes. Doesn't look good. Oh, hold on, I bought Pushmo. That game fucking rules outside of the part where when you first get the game you can't use QR codes for advanced puzzles. Maybe I should mention I went and got a supercard asap. I bought Mole Mania and Link's Awakening. Then got DK94 with Club Nintendo points. These official emulations have two good things about them. They save state when you close them, then go right back to where you were upon resumption. The cool 3D thing where they go native GB resolution and have a kinda sunken in GB screen with border is awesome, for about 5 minutes, then you go back to full screen. But as soon as I loaded up Ghost Babel those days were over. The GBA emulator is maybe 70% there. Main thing is that I can have Fire Pro 2 on the big ass XL screen. If I could just dump the save from my real cartridge with no hassle it would be a dream system. Main thing is that I beat Musha while sitting in a car and it was amazing and I wasn't playing a Nomad. Y'know what else would be cool? If that FPR PS2 game they have for PS3 would play on a goddamned Vita. I had a action replay max years ago that allowed me to keep every single PS2 save I ever had in perpetuity on emulators. I had a goddamned ball adding in a ton of extra dudes and converting my JPN save to a US one. Oh, I would totally be getting a Vita if Fire Pro was on it. I really want to get one of those eBay Wii U deals where it's super cheap and doesn't have the gamepad. I really want to play that new Mario Land that's coming out in a few months. Also, I better be playing GTA V next week.

Hold the god damn. I'm just now hearing that Kevin "SHITTY" Smith is writing this movie? He made Batman piss his pants. Boll shit. Red State sucked a big old globby clayface dick by the way. Widening Gyre osculated pilose en-ordured fundament.