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The Challenge premiered on Wednesday.

 

The highlight being CT rocking the boat, via trying to throw Johnny Bananas into the first elimination challenge - only to get GOT by TJ, and his bag o' swerves. Girls vote guys into elimination and guys vote the girls in.

 

CT, after that original brilliant plan (made even better when combined with Johnny's 4th Wall breaking "dude, that's not how these things are supposed to be booked" shocked interview reaction) was then followed-up with by an even more brilliant plan: Piss Diem, and by extension all of the women, off by trying to hook up with a rookie girl. A rookie who will likely be gone by next week's airing. Hopefully this means CT is back on the drugs, because his decision-making skills are terrrible.

 

Poor Wes.

 

 

 

Otherwise, Laguna Beach/The Hills are currently airing every morning on MTv. Leading up to the premier of *Finkel* a NEEEEEEEEEEEEW ending to The Hills on August 9th at 11:30AM EST (yes, Friday morning - what a world).

 

My wife forwarded me a link that made my morning yesterday - a 'Where Are They Now' flip-book of the Laguna cast. I promptly lost an hour of my life immediately thereafter.

 

http://photos.toofab.com/galleries/laguna_beach_cast__then__now#tab=now_then&id=1178363

 

My favorite part (short of the surprise of Jason and Talan switching lives/addiction, and the personal trainer) are Dieter and Trey. Trey especially. The two guys who were so big on causes and 'saving the world' are now corporate sell-outs. Love it. The world needs to follow more rich kids whose childhood dreams don't come true.

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The funny thing about CT trying to throw Johnny and Frank into the elimination is that he tried to put them in against a team that couldn't beat the two of them at anything.  Tyrie and Dunbar are the single worst team I can remember.  Tyrie is always the first guy eliminated and Dunbar is quite possibly the dumbest person who ever competed on this show.  The brilliant thing about this is that from the very beginning people are going to have to pick sides.  It looks dumb now, but if CT and Wes win a couple challenges in a row, the girls are going to flock to their side in order not to get sent into elimination.  Not only that, but how many of these teams can beat CT and Wes in an elimination?  It is a really risky move, but at the end of the day if they get the numbers they can pull this off.

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The most frightening combination, to me (as a Wes backer), is Leroy and Ty. If Leroy was more like a CT, personality-wise, he'd be the most feared guy on that show. He's a beast, but he's just way too level-headed and nice to really put the fear into people like some of those other psychos do.

 

I'm sure some people might be inclined to fear Trey/Zack, but I think their combined IQ is 50 and anything short of a ZACK SMASH! elimination challenge isn't going to be their strong suit. I'd also be really interested to see how Zack holds up during the final challenge long-distance run, when he doesn't have Sam slowing his group down for extended walking breaks. He might not be as strong as that final challenge would lead some to believe he is.

 

But, seriously, Dunbar being Dunbar (and wiffing the bell) was the funniest part of that whole show. Totally made up for having two nobody teams in there. Tyrie is awful. When your only Challenge highlights are getting yelled at by Jasmin, and falling asleep while sitting on the toilet - it might be time to hang it up. I have absolutely no clue why MTv keeps asking him back. The only person who is worse at Challenges than him might be RW:Austin's Danny. Gawd, they all suck.

 

Speaking of suck - that women's bracket is weak sauce. Even if Evelyn is the replacement for Naomi - I don't see anyone stopping Emily from winning and achieving her dreams of ...opening up a gym*. Now, if Laurel is coming back - we might have something. But, as it stands, the gals are basically there to have insane drunken fights and not much else.

 

 

 

 

 

*New gyms close as fast as new restaurants do. I'd give her gym 18 months before she's out of business and back on a Challenge.

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The most frightening combination, to me (as a Wes backer), is Leroy and Ty. If Leroy was more like a CT, personality-wise, he'd be the most feared guy on that show. He's a beast, but he's just way too level-headed and nice to really put the fear into people like some of those other psychos do.

 

I'm sure some people might be inclined to fear Trey/Zack, but I think their combined IQ is 50 and anything short of a ZACK SMASH! elimination challenge isn't going to be their strong suit. I'd also be really interested to see how Zack holds up during the final challenge long-distance run, when he doesn't have Sam slowing his group down for extended walking breaks. He might not be as strong as that final challenge would lead some to believe he is.

 

But, seriously, Dunbar being Dunbar (and wiffing the bell) was the funniest part of that whole show. Totally made up for having two nobody teams in there. Tyrie is awful. When your only Challenge highlights are getting yelled at by Jasmin, and falling asleep while sitting on the toilet - it might be time to hang it up. I have absolutely no clue why MTv keeps asking him back. The only person who is worse at Challenges than him might be RW:Austin's Danny. Gawd, they all suck.

 

Speaking of suck - that women's bracket is weak sauce. Even if Evelyn is the replacement for Naomi - I don't see anyone stopping Emily from winning and achieving her dreams of ...opening up a gym*. Now, if Laurel is coming back - we might have something. But, as it stands, the gals are basically there to have insane drunken fights and not much else.

 

 

 

 

 

*New gyms close as fast as new restaurants do. I'd give her gym 18 months before she's out of business and back on a Challenge.

Is this the best male cast ever?

 

After they get rid of Preston/Knight and Derek/Robb shit is going to get real.  The next two most vulnerable teams feature a couple of division I football players. 

The girls on the other hand have to deal with Emily...most likely a losing proposition.  Cooke and her new partner could be interesting though.

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Knight and Aneesa are some of the more amusing folks for doing commentary, it's a shame both are saddled with folks who won't get them far.

 

I think my two favorite goofy moments from episode 1:

 

-Paula's realization that the key to staying in the game is to keep the men happy.

 

-Johnny Bananas flipping out about how much of a manipulator CT is. CT has never ever been shown to be able to accomplish or even attempt to accomplish any type of social mind game.

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People trying to get rid of Johnny "On Day One!"

 

And Evelyn might be the replacement?

 

I am pleased with this season now, even if they got the wrong 2 girls from RW: Portland.

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Loved that premiere. CT was full on CT. Fighting both those Portland dudes IN THE POOL was classic CT. He just finished partying with Spring Breakers to do this Challenge so I'm guessing he's had a rough few months at that point. I have a feeling the producers will do what they can to keep them around as long as possible.

Frank seems to have toned it down. I'd love to see him bring his drama at CT. I think Zack and Trey are the guys team to beat. Zack may be a tiny bit smarter than a previous person gave him credit for.

I also feel bad for Knight. 2 Challenges in a row he has had a terrible partner/team.

I always hated Johnny but he seems to have parlayed this into a really great life. You gotta win not just show up.

Not super into the girls side. Can any of them touch Emily? Cooke maybe? Why can't they get Emily, Laurel, and Ev on the same Challenge?

I have way too many thoughts about this.

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I don't think Zack is dumb, especially when compared to the rest of the house, and he was a good enough college football player to be invited to the combine.  I know it's kind of late, but I would love to do a fantasy league for this.  Anyone interested?

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I really enjoyed the first season of Laguna Beach. Of course I was like 18 or 19 when it aired so it makes sense but anyway Lauren and Kristin were amazing. Now they look odd..  I assume plastic surgery came into play at some point in their lives.

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Fans of the Challenge must listen to the recent Grantland podcast with Frank. So much shit talking and production secrets. Good stuff.

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I think Marlon may have shattered Grantland fantasy league scoring records last night. Knight is kind of a dick but he's a dick I can relate to.

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Knight looking up with a straight face and asking, "How is that tasteless?" has to be the best part of the episode. 

 

Trischelle is a trainwreck, could anyone actually understand what she was saying?  She sounded like a boxer with a huge tax debt who has to keep fighting despite the fact that she is losing brain function.

 

Marlon just became an all-time challenge fantasy all-star, especially if you factor in the fact that they revealed that he also made out with Cooke on the aftershow.  He'll be invited back for the rest of eternity.

 

Sarah has the worst possible luck when it comes to partners.  While this isn't funny as Vinny showing up 65 lbs. overweight and then pulling Mandi's tits out, it probably sucks worse for her.

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I think Knight summed up Trishelle pretty well. She was too old to be there and got fed up. They should have brought in a strong female to team with Sarah. I think we can pencil in Emily/Paula as top 2 and prob the winners. None of these girls can even touch her. Maybe Cooke, we shall see.

I really hope we get Wes/CT vs Zack/Trey in that first jungle they did...

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Ridiculousness would be a lot funnier if Rob Dyrdek did not do running commentary on every fucking video.  I guess that's why I also watch The Soup and Tosh.0 for my viral internet vid hilarity.

 

As much as I want to hate on Ridiculousness, they had the good taste to bring on Ken Block and Kat Graham as guests at one time so I suppose I have to give it a pass.

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Another week another example of Knight being a overwhelming douche.  Am I crazy or is Jemmye the single worst looking person in the history of The Challenge?  Why the hell would multiple dudes be trying to one up each other for her attention?  Cooke is right there...with no pants on...Why the hell are you even looking at Jemmeye?

 

This may be controversial, but Diem is the worst person alive.  Seriously, every season she is on I think Diem isn't that bad, but then eventually I realize that she is about as narcissistic as anyone on the show.  Her having repeated bouts of cancer is incredibly sad, but as much I have compassion for her repeatedly overcoming her sickness I can't stand her. 

 

Is there a chance that Emily and Paula run the table?  Is there a chance that Jordan/Marlon hook up with 50% of the cast?  Why can't we just get rid of Knight and Preston now so we can get some real drama in the house? Did Diem write the rap? That seems like something random as hell to do, and it also seems like something random as hell to accuse someone of falsely.  Are we at the point that we have a favorite on the men's side? 

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I get what you're saying about Diem. I think she's a top 3 Bunim Murray favorite. I was actually a little suprised they showed her in negative light last night.

I hope this is it for Paula as well. She's back to talking shit about Cara. Guess she feels more comfortable without that amazon Laurel there to put her in her place. Emily is killing it (and looking quite hot) but I'd like to see her vs Laurel or Ev.

On the guys side I gotta give credit to Jordan. One hand, doing great in challenges and hopping from girl to girl. This dude is making Jim Abbott very proud.

A favorite? I hate to say but it sure isnt CT and Wes. Wes does not seem to give 2 shits. I'd say Zack/Trey and Johnny/Frank would be the favorites at this point.

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Emily and Paula could run the table of Challenges, but there's no way they come out winning it all. Paula is notoriously bad at collapsing under pressure and as amazing as Emily is, there's no way she could drag Paula to a first place finish. It does feel like this season is stacked in Emily and Paula's favor though, maybe as a way to finally give Paula a big win. And man, Paula is looking ROUGH these days.

 

If anyone gives them trouble, I could see it being Camilla and Jemmye, even over Aneesa and Diem. Jemmye has Challenge lifer written all over her and is surprisingly tough and I'd rank Camilla below Emily as far as toughest competitors go. Only problem is, neither is the brightest bulb in the bunch, so that could hurt them. Plus, Jemmye has one of those Maury Povich phobias. I almost want to go back to the episode with the girl who was deathly afraid of pickles and see if Jemmye was on that episode as well due to her fear of ketchup. So as long as there are no puzzles, or anything involving ketchup, they'll be fine.

 

Agreed on Knight and Jemmye too. I'm not sure if I'm getting old or what, but the girls are looking worse and worse. I have no idea what anyone sees in Jemmye, Jonna, that one girl that CT was fawning over, etc. Seriously, Cooke is RIGHT THERE Knight, what are you doing?! My God is Knight dumb, and lazy. Somehow, someway, they need to get Knight and Isaac on a team.

 

Regarding Diem, there is a narcissistic, self-destructive nature to her, isn't there? I don't know if anyone followed her blog during her latest bout with cancer, but she is seriously playing with fire. I don't want anything to happen to the girl, but I fear one of these days we're going to get the end of the episode titles and there's going to be an "in memoriam" for her. The gist of it is that her cancer came back and the doctor urged her to have a full hysterectomy asap. She instead chose to harvest and freeze her eggs because she so desperately wants to be a mother, putting her at risk of the cancer being inoperable. It is maybe the most short-sighted way of behaving in a situation like that, especially considering that we're now living in a world where more and more at-risk women elect to have voluntary hysterectomies and mastectomies to drastically reduce their chances of getting cancer. I get why she wants to be a mom, but what good is that if she's dead? I have had two friends in similar shoes and each decided to adopt because there are so many kids out there that need a home and it would be too selfish to bring a child into the world and then sadly leave that child without a mother. 

 

As for the dudes, Leroy is still the best. Every season, even if Leroy gets eliminated, he should be allowed to stay in the house just because. I'm hoping he and Ty win and I don't think Ty is all that bad of a guy, but he is a little douchey.

 

I'm surprised at the backseat Johnny Bananas has taken this season. He's normally the star of the show, getting more on screen time than anyone else, and this season, he's just kind of there. I think he makes it to the finals, but Frank winds up holding him back.

 

Zack...I don't know what season Zack is from, but he looks like a pro wrestler. My wife had a holy shit reaction to him, remarking that he's way bigger than CT and Ty, who were two of the more jacked up guys on the show. When Zack and Trey went into that Challenge, I was hoping Zack would just demolish all of the bamboo walls in front of them, and then in a brief clip, he actually tried to do that. Way to go, hoss.

 

Then there's Wes, who looks like he's off the juice completely and just doesn't care anymore. I think he ultimately is the cause for him and CT missing out on making it to the finals. Then again, if CT could drag Adam to an inch away from making it to the finals, maybe they do have a shot.

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I think Leroy is a decent enough guy but I'm beginning to sour on him. He clearly is buying into the love everyone has for him and seemingly has zero respect for women. I follow him on twitter and he is just vapid as hell. I think Vegas has a spell on him.

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I think Leroy is a decent enough guy but I'm beginning to sour on him. He clearly is buying into the love everyone has for him and seemingly has zero respect for women. I follow him on twitter and he is just vapid as hell. I think Vegas has a spell on him.

 

Well that's a bummer.

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*THE HILLS ALTERNATE FINALE IS ON AT 11:30AM EST TOMORROW MORNING*

 

 

There is nothing worse in life than an extended stay hotel by an airport. Most of the clientele are men, so the channel lineups are all geared toward them (sports, news). I've been without MTv for way too long.

 

Finally got caught up on The Challenge. Wes' transformation from blown-up meathead to AIDS patient has been depressing this year. I haven't looked into it enough, but my gut reaction would be:

 

*He had a bad reaction to *ahem* whatever he was taking, which is when he had to start cycling off and why he started sucking on Challenges a few years ago - whereas before his "retirement" he was a beast.

 

*He got addicted to Crossfit and now he looks like ...that.

 

It's all just a weird scene.

 

 

Speaking of - I watched the last two week's worth of Challenges back-to-back, and what a double-billing that was.

 

Last week, the girls are inexplicably excused from Elimination, which was some of the most Russo-iffic booking I've ever seen until MTv decided that they're suddenly going to be the morality police, and boot Zach/Trey for Zach breaking through two consecutive levels - when the rules stated the partners had to alternate. I haven't seen a rob-job like that since CT bull-rushed B-Rad in that pole-pushing contest - only they gave the victory to B-Rad anyway because CT broke some stupid little clip. That season was The Duel, which ending up leading to Wes' greatest Challenge victory.

 

Between that and The Hills - nostalgia is strong this week.

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I like when they add the after show. Theresa ripped Jemmeye and it spilled over to twitter. Funny stuff.

I gotta say I hate when they find some political reason to determine who wins a game. CT & Wes just walking to the win was lame. Wes is not looking great this season. Hopefully what I saw in that trailer turns that around.

Like I mentioned Leroy is showing his true colors more and more. Dude is a fuckin dog. I'm not really hating on that but all this Leroy is such a great guy talk should prob stop.

Zack and Trey being eliminated is a game changer. You know some of those dudes breathed a sigh of relief.

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Leroy's Army of Women led to a Top-10 Challenge moment for me.

 

Theresa: Yeah, I'ma just gon throw my Elimination vote away by voting for you, Leroy. But, I'll still see you in bed tonight.

 

Nani: Me too. I know we're friends and all, Leroy, but I'd rather vote for you to go in than risk angering someone else.

 

Diem: LEROY GETS MY VOTE TOO!

 

TJ: Okay, ladies - you killed it. Leroy - you're going in.

 

Theresa and Nani: Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?

 

 

 

 

I laughed, and laughed and laughed.

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Yeah I still don't get why Theresa/Jasmine didn't vote Preston/Knight. Poor Knight by the way. I can totally relate. If I was on that show I'd be all about stirring shit up. You can see he's really biting his tounge when it comes to Preston.

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This season has had a lot of annoying bullcrap. First there was the one girl who went home, but instead of sending her partner home, they bring in freaking Cara Maria. Then, when another one of Sarah's partners goes AWOL, and she gets sent home AGAIN. This leads to the SWERVE where they have a week where no girls get sent home. That was either preceded by or followed up by the dumb, dumb, dumb duel where Preston and Knight win because Knight goes prone on the ground. I mean, good strategy, but is the group coming up with these contests at all experienced in game theory, or do they just come up with this shit in between bong rips? To follow everything else up, hilariously, Leroy and Ty nearly get sent home because Theresa and Nany are REALLY STUPID. If you're going to throw away a vote, but you know that you want a specific team to go into a duel, THEN VOTE FOR THAT TEAM. Idiots. However, they're saved from elimination because of a ridiculous technicality. I have a feeling Zack would have been sent home anyway from launching his helmet like a rocket.

 

Leroy and Ty...I like them as a team, but I think they will be the guys to always be a more important feature of the house, and less of a threat as far as challenges and duels go.

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I HATE KETCHUP!!! YOU KNOW I HATE KETCHUP!

 

I feel like every drunken-screaming these people do involves one person shouting at another about how much they hate something, and how the person that is offending them absolutely knows that.

 

 

The reason Cooke got Cara Marie, and Sarah had to go home is because MTv only has one extra guy/girl available as a back-up. Sort of like how pro teams have healthy scratches or 'DNP-Coach's Decision'. That's why they randomly pulled CT out of mothballs to stomp Johnny into the dirt that one year, or when Derrick randomly showed up as a replacement. 

 

Had that one girl not gone home, then Sarah would have pulled Cara Marie.

 

Now, I will spend the next ten minutes picturing CT dressed up in a suit and sitting at the end of a bench - like Juwan Howard did for the Heat all last year.

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