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Tonight is RAW night but if we're all on early enough, I am up for it.

 

Its easier for me to do GTA on RAW nights but I can also do ME3 - what ever scratches the shoot people in the face itch

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Tonight is RAW night but if we're all on early enough, I am up for it.

 

Its easier for me to do GTA on RAW nights but I can also do ME3 - what ever scratches the shoot people in the face itch.

 

I am down for whatever tonight.  Today is the first day of the first big training execise of the year.  I have wanted to punch someone in the face since lunchtime.   People don't see quick-launch icons cluttering their destktop and think their laptop is broken. 

 

PUSH THE START BUTTON, LUDDITE~!  THE PROGRAM IS INSTALLED~!

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Dolfan's race didn't make me wanna punch things like most user-created races. "WHERE'S THE CHECKPOINT? HOW DO I GET TO THE CHECKPOINT?"

 

I wouldn't mind playing it with people I knew just for the laughsies, but I avoid Tunnel Vision like the plague. So much wiping out.

 

My current racing rules:

1. No "Down the Drain"

2. No "Criminal Record"

3. No GTA races with strangers - tired of going "boom" 'cause I'm not coordinated enough to shoot and drive at the same time.

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You guys are so quaint. Me and my buddy go to the car in the little bird. If its free one of us takes it the other clears a path. If it isn't we blow it up, or at least try to

Quaint, my ass. I don't blow up the car. I use it to blow up other players.

How much does that cost you? A helicopter cost me money I didn't earn and $200 for delivery.

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Yeah - of course the flip side was that I killed myself 3 times by having grenades bounce back at me.

OH! I just remembered that I did get a chance to do Tunnel Vision last night with Dan and Fresh after we had missed our chance earlier

That was fun and I can only imagine the chaos when there would be like 5 or 6 of us trying to cram our way through the tunnel

I enjoy any race that I win.

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I may be able to hop on with you guys this evening.

Y'all are making me shudder with this Tunnel Vision talk. The first time I did it, I managed to pull way ahead and was able to take my time for an easy victory.

Every time I've played it since, I consider it a victory if I wreck less than 8 times. That's probably what I get for trying to make it through on a maxed out Akuma. That's too much bike to drive through Splinter's lair.

Although Jstout and I should do it some time. Given our motorcycle skills, it would be an entertaining shit show. One of my favorite moments is still you trying to plow through Zancudo's gate at 150 mph. I still don't know how we survived.

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You guys are so quaint. Me and my buddy go to the car in the little bird. If its free one of us takes it the other clears a path. If it isn't we blow it up, or at least try to

Quaint, my ass. I don't blow up the car. I use it to blow up other players.

How much does that cost you? A helicopter cost me money I didn't earn and $200 for delivery.

 

I still have over $900K I earned legit, so I'm not really worried about the cost of the bombs.  I can make that up in five or ten minutes of racing.

 

Eventually I will earn enough to own a Buzzard.  Right now, there are at least three of us online at any time with access to a tank or a Buzzard, so we're not hurting for heavy attack power.

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Yeah, if we're playing and anyone from the crew ever wants access to anything of mine from Pegasus, just say the word.

 

I was gonna try to pick up some players last night in a a troop transport, but the damn thing goes about 5 mph and I lost patience.

 

Oh yeah, RUkered, that was either the first or one of the first missions I played online with anybody. Until then, I had just raced, and I literally had no idea there were certain fences you couldn't break down. I had quite a head of steam going to have two players on a motorcycle when we hit that fence and went flying.

 

I fully modded an Akuma a few days ago. Maybe we could try it again.

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I have a Bati 800RR with Redwood Livery that I have modded for racing.  

 

I am better at motorcycle races than I am at car races unless Moonglrl is there to clown me in a bike race by doing a goddamned stoppie across the finish line.

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Yeah Stout, I'm sure you were like "bet this guy is calling me a dumbass right now," but I can assure you I had tears in my eyes because I once did the same thing and knew what was coming.

I'm definitely up for Tunnel Vision if you are.

And like Stout said a couple posts back, I'll call in Pegasus stuff for anyone in the crew that wants it too. I bought almost everything and rarely call it in anyway outside of a Buzzard for air support.*

*Air support = me getting assault rifled right out of the damn thing

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Love clearin out an entire map. That is my goal every time I play. Stout and I did it last night it was just 6 maybe 7 on 2 so the odds weren't really that fair. They needed 3 or 4 more.

It was 7 on 2 at one point in an 11-person room. And y'all get one guess as to who were the last two standing.

 

J.T., nothing personal, but anyone dumb enough to do a motorcycle race with Moongirl deserves what he gets. Second's a major victory.

 

RUkered, my thoughts at the time: "I'm gonna bust right through there, this'll be awesome!" WHACK! "OK, maybe not." That was the first time I'd ever heard of Fort Zancudo.

 

Evening crew needs to try the cargobob thing sometime in a private room. I can call one in. We'll parachute out, it'll be awesome.

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How the hell does everybody copy posts.....sorry imma dalm dum ass. I remember that night that rukered and stout are talkin bout. I hadn't had the game to long. I was ridin with some other feller when rukered said oh shit I responded what's up....He replied, "we just smacked the front gate doin 250 and busted our asses, that was awesome." Don't know if the quote is exact but it's Purdy dalm close.

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I really would've liked to seen how the crew would've handled the absolute shitshow of a room I found myself in last night. Probably the stupidest room ever. 

 

It started when I went for a crate at the horse racing track and there was another player above me in a helicopter moving in on the crate. Out of reflex I shot the helicopter 4-5 times with my rifle, but nowhere near enough to bring  it down. I had the jump on the guy and got the crate. 

 

Well, a couple of people circled me for a while until I escaped on an ATV and got out of Dodge. Guy from the helicopter put a $9,000 bounty on me (three times the value of the crate he was so butthurt about losing). I notice his blip is bearing down on me, being in a hurry to collect his own bounty. So I'm hiding behind a building waiting for him to round a corner, which he does. In a tank. 

 

There were at least three people with tanks for the vast majority of the time I was in the room. To beat it all, the guy who blew me up first was doing some weird glitch where it looked like he was putting himself in and out of passive mode very rapidly. Someone on the ground with him (I was staying completely away from this lunacy at this point) said it looked like he was spawning all the time, which made him very hard to shoot. So he was cheating in his brief downtime between calling in tanks. Lovely.

 

The only thing that made it fun? My very first female in the general chat. I should've PM'd J.T. on here to get his ass into GTA and close the deal on getting her in the crew. Two other dudes moved in very quickly and started stealing my thunder, for what that was worth. She was only 20 years younger than me, it could've been GTA love. We could've been the Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones of GTA. She was from about an hour and a half away from me, so we had that in common.

 

Bless her heart, she was a Level 15, and I'm not real sure she knew what she was doing at all, but she was on the mean streets just getting ran over and shot repeatedly. I'm like "step 1, steal a car. Step 2, get the hell away from everyone." I decided to stalk her, I mean follow her and watch her back, and she finds a place with no players, all right - the 'Hood. She tries to steal a NPC's bike and has about three NPC's shooting at her. "Why are they shooting me?" "You're in the 'Hood, everyone's packing heat." So I shoot them all and save the day, whisking her off in my car. She said I was the first person ever in the game who actually tried to help her instead of constantly killing her.

 

But she is from a, um, not-so-cosmopolitan area of Southwest Virginia, and even though everyone was mackin' on her (as much as they could, considering), we all busted a gut laughing when these two dudes came into the chat speaking Spanish. Now they've got as much right to speak Spanish in the general chat as I do to speak English, but she disagreed:

 

Chick: "Why don't y'all speak English?"

Dude: "Fuck you, you stupid bitch. How's that?"

Me: "Don't guess you need that translated, do you?"

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Stout, I call bullshit on the SWVA homegirl's language issues.  There are parts of Southside Richmond that may as well be part of El Salvador, so I have made it a point to read and understand Spanish even if I can't speak it fluently.

 

And I race Moongirl because no one else will.  I wish I could've recorded the rage quit audio from some of her competitors.  It was YouTube worthy.  I have had to provide cover fire for her because poor sports try to score a cheap kill her when we all despawn from the race back at the launch point on a public server.

 

I ran across the actual GTA Bonny & Clyde last night. A married couple with the game tags Dr, SxxxY and SxxxY JugzY were terrorizing a public server right before I started hanging out with Mark & Rippa. I can barely get my girlfriend to play Madden with me and she loves football, so there's no way she'd be my moll in a sandbox shooter crime game..

 

Plus I have seen her try to play Halo. She is much better with real life guns at the range than virtual firearms.

 

When Rippa and Mark got on, the evening turned into Race Night.

 

Mark has become quite the dirty driver.  He rams into people on purpose this time..  Tunnel Vision showed up in our race queue and Mark leveraged me right into a ladder and never looked back.  We left traffic on so naturally I was killed by an oncoming Metro train while trying to catch him.  He also raced his fucking modded Super Diamond to victory in a race that was supposed to be for compact cars.  I call hack!   Once again, I got PITed into oblivion while Mark took first place.  Bastard.

 

Mark tried to sneak Speed Buggy into an off-road race, but ran off a cliff and bent the axle on his ride.

 

I almost had the goddamed golf cart race won but spun out near a fucking sand trap mere feet from the finish line.  Rippa backed into a win and I barely got second. 

 

I did manage to win three races.  For some reason, I fare much better when traffic is turned on.  Rob jumped in and won the last race of the evening before Rippa and I bailed to watch RAW.

 

Car Bomb Murder Total stands at eight victims.   RIP SOD M0N3Y GANG5 and Flakey63..  Sorry about your damn luck.

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Someone explain to me how a fucking Rolls Royce qualifies as a compact

 

And a goddameed Silver edition modded to the gills at that.  He had to have at least 60% armor because he bulled me into a guard rail and flipped my poor Astra without getting one fucking scratch on his Super Diamond.  His windshield didn't even break.

 

I call cheat.  I am reporting Mark as soon as I get online tonight.

 

Which reminds me.  PTA meeting (almost typed PIT!) tonight so I won't be on until sometime after 8PM EST.  Snowmageddon v. 6 is supposed to hit tomorrow night, so I will pray for my shitty internet connection between Wednesday and Thursday night.

 

Valentine's Day is this Friday.  If any dudes with significant others show up online, either shame on ya / happy that your partner is so liberal and let you game or I feel bad for ya because you're either single or (worse) in the doghouse.

 

You dudes probably won't see me at all this weekend.  I may lose the fingers that try to switch my console on between Friday and Sunday.

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That Rolls Royce was not modded. I think i've only driven one in the game once, in that mission when you have to steal one.

I blame my atypical driving behavior on the flu. (Home sick today)

Rob and I did my sea race before i went to bed. Even knowing the route, i barely won, as i beached my jetski at least once.

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I made over $150K last night doing missions with a character that was dressed up as a Crossfit Girl.

 

Some 12-year-old got mad after I blew up his car during a mission (shouldn't have parked it there) and then he flipped out - so she ran him over and killed him. To be fair though, his voice was hilariously shrill as he whined over the headset - so I can see why she did that. He went into Passive in Free Mode, otherwise we would have killed him until he quit.

 

Tormenting annoying kids on GTA is what brings people together.

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I made over $150K last night doing missions with a character that was dressed up as a Crossfit Girl.

 

Some 12-year-old got mad after I blew up his car and then she ran him over and killed him during a mission. To be fair though, his voice was hilariously shrill as he whined over the headset.

 

Tormenting annoying kids on GTA is what brings people together.

 

The primal screams of those I destroy with car bombs is like a lullaby.  I am sure I lose a piece of my humanity with every successful explosion..

 

I've only regretted car bombing dudes one time.  Some poor schmuck who probably just got off the plane and was working on his "find your default car" mission for Simeon was taking a Pegassi Ruffian in for respray and came across the boobytrapped Sultan I left near Higgins Helitours. 

 

Poor bastard.  The ignition bomb killed him and also totaled the bike. 

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