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Ask Octopus Anything


Octopus

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1 minute ago, twiztor said:

have you tried the Applebees exclusive Mtn Dew flavor?

Oh, you mean MTN DEW DARK BERRY BASH™ FLAVOR?! I have not yet. My stomach is in more of a beer mood right now. But I really like the way they blast the Dark Berry. Other restaurants would probably just set the Dark Berry in. It wouldn’t even be a Bash then!

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Is our buddy Octo really just a long-game viral marketing stunt by Applebees!!?!? 
 

Like, someone at the company was like, “What if we ingrained posters are various niche-interest internet message boards, had them charm the posters there and then BAM! We hit them with the ads and they think it’s just their pal chatting about his dinner!”

 

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51 minutes ago, Technico Support said:

Evidence against that: he keeps using Olive Garden's slogan for Applebee's.  🤣

I didn't say it was a good viral-marketing stunt.

1 hour ago, Curt McGirt said:

For a minute there I thought you meant Mountain Dew flavored steak.

I used to be a piece of shit. Slicked-backed hair, white bathing suit, sloppy Mountain Dew steaks, white couch. You would NOT have liked me back then.

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13 minutes ago, Log said:

I didn't say it was a good viral-marketing stunt.

 

It could be some real 4d chess, though!  If he were too slick and didn't make these mistakes, we'd think it was marketing for sure!

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3 hours ago, Technico Support said:

Evidence against that: he keeps using Olive Garden's slogan for Applebee's.  🤣

I’m pretty sure Olive Garden’s slogan is:

”Olive Garden - come for the bread sticks, stay due to the debilitating diarrhea.”

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10 hours ago, zendragon said:

May be an image of 5 people, trumpet, saxophone and text that says 'I once heard Ska described as "what plays in a 13-year-old kid's head when he gets extra mozzarella sticks" and nothing in this world is more accurate. 4 BAK イャツ 亂K'

I had all sort of upbeat punk trumpets going off when I bit into those delicious Applebees Mozzarella Sticks. 

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7 hours ago, Log said:

Is our buddy Octo really just a long-game viral marketing stunt by Applebees!!?!? 
 

Like, someone at the company was like, “What if we ingrained posters are various niche-interest internet message boards, had them charm the posters there and then BAM! We hit them with the ads and they think it’s just their pal chatting about his dinner!”

 

2 hours ago, Technico Support said:

It could be some real 4d chess, though!  If he were too slick and didn't make these mistakes, we'd think it was marketing for sure!

I can confidently state that I do not have the class or talent to be a part of the Applebees employment team. But I can say that with each visit, when I am there, I feel like family. 

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3 hours ago, Curt McGirt said:

For a minute there I thought you meant Mountain Dew flavored steak.

I need to get John Peyton on the phone STAT!

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3 hours ago, Octopus said:

I can confidently state that I do not have the class or talent to be a part of the Applebees employment team. But I can say that with each visit, when I am there, I feel like family. 

Sounds like something an Applebee’s viral marketer would say. 
 

**looks suspiciously at Octo**

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4 hours ago, Log said:

Sounds like something an Applebee’s viral marketer would say. 
 

**looks suspiciously at Octo**

Trust me. I wouldn’t lie. And if push comes to shove and I was under oath, I’d  truthfully plead the fifth.

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3 hours ago, Stefanie Sparkleface said:

Look at those beauts.

Next time you’re near one of the 1,536 locations, you should try one. Tell ‘em Octopus sent ya!

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There's an Applebee's by me that I haven't been to since I got takeout from there during the pandemic because I had a gift card.  But I recall it was surprisingly decent.  Of course, I don't think APPLEBEE'S: SURPRISINGLY DECENT is a great tagline.

Nothing against Applebee's or any restaurant from that casual dining tier, like Ruby Tuesday's, TGIFriday's, Hard Rock, etc.  I just eat out so infrequently that it never makes the list.  Actually, I did eat at a Hard Rock a few weeks ago on a work trip because it was the only thing open that late on a Sunday that wasn't so expensive it'd fuck my per diem.  It was also.........surprisingly decent.

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When I lived in Southern Illinois, there wasn't a ton of choice when it came to eating out. So, we'd end up at the Applebee's in Carbondale a lot. Some weekend's, it was our de facto bar, too. At the time, my wife and I were working at a TV station in the area. She was the weekend anchor, so a very minor local celebrity. We'd be at Applebee's with the main anchor (more recognizable) and, often, be pretty drunk. We always figured there were a lot of people telling friends the next day, "I was at Applebee's last night, and that girl/guy from the news was HAMMERED!"

So, one night, my wife has had quite a few cheap margaritas and is having trouble controlling the volume of her voice. She decides to re-tell a dirty joke she'd heard that week. The joke is: Guy goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, doctor! My penis has turned orange!" and the doctor says, "Stop eating Cheetohs before you jerk off." Something to that effect. The restaurant is fairly full, and there are a lot of people sitting close to us. She starts to tell the joke in her normal voice, but I suppose was planning on whispering the "penis" part. Instead, it comes out as "Doctor, doctor! My *says loudly* PENIS is *whispers* orange." Had one of those "record scratches and the whole room looks at you" moments.

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1 hour ago, Log said:

When I lived in Southern Illinois, there wasn't a ton of choice when it came to eating out. So, we'd end up at the Applebee's in Carbondale a lot. Some weekend's, it was our de facto bar, too. At the time, my wife and I were working at a TV station in the area. She was the weekend anchor, so a very minor local celebrity. We'd be at Applebee's with the main anchor (more recognizable) and, often, be pretty drunk. We always figured there were a lot of people telling friends the next day, "I was at Applebee's last night, and that girl/guy from the news was HAMMERED!"

So, one night, my wife has had quite a few cheap margaritas and is having trouble controlling the volume of her voice. She decides to re-tell a dirty joke she'd heard that week. The joke is: Guy goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, doctor! My penis has turned orange!" and the doctor says, "Stop eating Cheetohs before you jerk off." Something to that effect. The restaurant is fairly full, and there are a lot of people sitting close to us. She starts to tell the joke in her normal voice, but I suppose was planning on whispering the "penis" part. Instead, it comes out as "Doctor, doctor! My *says loudly* PENIS is *whispers* orange." Had one of those "record scratches and the whole room looks at you" moments.

I keep imagining this whole scene, done with exaggerated and very proper anchor voices.  Also, when you go out for Mexican food, it turns into the old SNL "Antonio Mendoza" skit. 

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