assfax

Dundee's Memphis Scaffold shit puts him in another fucking league from shitty Taz. Taz is a fucking wimp.

Books I've read in the past year: American Gods: Pretty good Damnation Game: Ending was silly Weaveworld: Fucking amazing. Voice of the Fire: first 200 pages are a major struggle, then it becomes tolerable. More Notes of a Dirty Old Man: blew through this in 5 sittings. Fucking vital. Rendezvous with Rama: alright. Everything about it made me visualize how wrong a movie would be. They'd never spend the money if they had to be this low key.

Other than the fact that Captain America 2 had zero surprises for me as someone who read a ton of Captain America it fucking ruled. First movie was like a shitty Rocketeer. Second movie was like an amazing Rocketeer.

I knew Garry Shandling was evil.

Jesus Christ is this fucking game out yet already. Jesus.

Warren Zevon didn't even remember this photo being taken.

Eat your vegetables you goddamned wimps.

Fucking IMAX 3D fucking rules.

UHF coming to blu ray. God is in his heaven. Now they just need Strange Brew, The Wizard, Little Monsters and Freaked to quell any further bitching. Fabulous Baker Boys wouldn't hurt either. Dr. Syn, Alias the Scarecrow would make me shit my breeches.

What do you mean by espionage? Movie shit or stuff where you're just some old guy sitting on a bench and you leave a newspaper behind without talking to anybody shit?

Best tag team mode: VPW2. You can definitely cheese it and win in 2 minutes, but sometimes shit just goes on for 45 minutes and doesn't feel like a slog. Best animation: ASPW III. Powerbomb impact is a little lame but do the analog movement as Misawa and then see him flick his eyebrow sweat. Best outside the ring camera: WCW Mayhem on PSX. Prove me wrong. Best Vader: Giant Gram 2000 Worst thing ever: That part where you have to beat both Hardy fuckers in a ladder match on No Mercy. BULLSHIT Also tied with flying over the top rope unceremoniously when yer trying to win the entire goddamned royal rumble.

This Nausicaä boxset is blowin' my mind. I didn't know Miyazaki's art was an insane combo of Mœbius and Robert Crumb. I'd seen his sketchbook stuff but this is amazing. I think the film is amazing and this book is about a billion times better.

Did the 99 cent marvel unlimited thing. Should be way easier to just go right to the next issue. Reader doesn't let you zoom or use the mousewheel.

Just watch True Confessions while playing another, better videogame. Superior experience to LA Noire.

Man called Sledge was my favorite.

Finally got Pilotwings 3DS for 6 bucks used with box, manual and club nintendo code unredeemed. That's the nice price. My observations: The 3D sucks on this. I never thought I'd flat ass turn the effect off but the game is blurry on all settings to my eye. Other than that it skews closer to the N64 one that I never liked. So far no parachute jumps or secret stages. I know there's more but right now it's just plane, jetpack and hang-glider. Everybody knows hang-glider sucks. This should be 9.99 on eShop. I would've bought it then. No I wouldn't've. Amazon had some shitty browser extension that gave you five bucks off so I had a half decent reason to get DK tropical freeze. People weren't shitting when they said the boss fights take forever. Just that first walrus guy was like 7 minutes. Good stuff but on the other hand the amount of shit to collect per level is just going to infuriate me when I couldn't even get all the puzzle pieces on any of the stages from the first world. Did get the secret exit tho'. If they had a time limit on this shit I'd crack the disc in half. Cranky is the superior buddy in my experience. Club nintendo reward was a free game so I also got DKC Returns on 3DS. Was kind of resigning myself to skipping this in favor of just going to the Wii U one but for fucking free I had to get it. I started out trying to get boxed games for 3DS but then was an impatient bastard with a cheap 32 gig SD card. That's what they have over Vita. That, and more games I'd actually pay money for. Coincidentally I also got tearaway used for vita. First game cartridge I actually own. Everything else is PS+ shit, PS1 and digital only shit (Spelunky, Olli Olii). I put it in but hain't even played it. It took me a while to figure out how I actually put a game into the system. I remember not loving the demo. Mainly 'cause it was one of those ponderous platformers where you can't attack enemies. Feels very Namco. Little big planet guys made it right? Hated LBP.

What's next? Yew gonna say the embossed VHS box for Black Roses is awful?

New Conan movie: More like Keanu the Barbarian. (nailed it) The parts where I said "that's lame" outweighed the parts where I said "movie fucking rules!". I remember Conan doin' a lariat and picking up a big chain to hit a horse. That part where he has to fight 50 sand warriors was the worst level in the game. All throughout I kept noticing how shitty the pacing was. They rushed everything that wasn't a major effects shot. Also lame was that witch daughter where she had real shitty CGI to remove her eyebrows but on blu-ray it just looked like everything above her temples had no texture. Also I had to look it up to confirm that it was actually Rose McGowan. Also lame was how the fucking badguy at the end didn't even get extra powers. At least Skeletor turned into gold at the end of Masters of th' Universe. Also lame was how that disembodied hand didn't come back and annoy Conan when he thought the coast was clear. Also, never knew the hero lady's name. They probably yelled it real fast at the end of one of those truncated exposition scenes. 'member that PS3 Conan game with Ron Perlman that I almost enjoyed save for the final boss? Way better. Not this Harry 'n' th' Hendersons shit. Beginning of the movie = Twilight Princess + Assassins Creed III + Rise of Nations. Should've had the Cast a Deadly Spell ending where the pure blood wasn't pure 'cause Conan gave her the ol' crushing blow. The Shawshank Redemption voiceovers also dropped off the face of the earth. 2 dollar blu ray tho'. There were a couple titties as well.

Nightbreed Director's cut blu ray is coming out. Bet yer ass I pre-ordered the limited edition. I never do that.

Scanners comes out this month and should be on the B&N deal.

Even though I don't have a PS4 you bet your ass I go on the website and add the free games to my queue.

I was enjoying Mario Kart 8 for a few weeks, then realized I could steer with the regular d-pad. Now it's godly. I get beyond angry when the cpu fucks me over in the last race and keeps me from getting the 3 star shit. Online, I never get mad because it doesn't matter. Soon as I get all the characters I'm never playing the computer again.