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I was very tired by the time we got to rampage. A combination of post-dynamite’s amazing main event match exhaustion and long event fatigue. So I was cheering less and ready for bed, but still happy to derp. Danielson vs Garcia (next week?) will be fantastic. Garcia is good on the mic. Ass Boys are great heels and Beardhaussen works well together as a unit. If we’re not getting Hook as a partner, it might as well be a large bearded guy. Speaking of Hook, the “yup” got over well. Doing “New Jersey vs New York” segment is kinda dumb in Minneapolis. We don’t like New York so that’s not winning Hook points live. Sonny Kiss being squashed was sad but the turn at the end was cool. Too bad the Trust Busters are meh. Mainly I just don’t care for tattoo guy. He just does menacing breathing poorly, maybe he had good matches or something somewhere, but he needs a beard or charismatic range. Switch him out with Bear County and give them a Skim J outfit and it is better. Plus, the “join my faction or else” story has been done to death by a much superior Team Taz and the Law Offices of Hardy and Andrade. Davari is cool and he’s a local guy that can get heat. But the Crust Busters are such a weird random collection of guys and adding the fantastic Sonny is random still but hopefully can make them interesting. Best Friends are great. After the show they took a picture in the ring with a very excited little kid who looked so happy he was about to cry. That was great. Heel Paul Gordndorff is scary. Now that Mr Positivity is broken, we can run this town. I’ll be Octy Octy Piper and together we shall battle the @The NaturalHogan (I am so sorry) and pity the fool Mr @DEAN for the main event of the first DVDVRmania.

I've wanted Jericho to lose a "Loser Leaves AEW" match only to come back as "The Midnight Mover"

We live in a world where Slim J got to appear in multiple segments on major cable network television. Remember that when things seem dark.

Okay, that mixed tag was a ripper and sign me up for a Tay v Skye Blue singles match.

Oh man, it's a three way race when it looked like a run away last Saturday. BUT THEN! Jericho/Moxley and GUNTHER/Nakamura happened! What a time to be alive. Jesus, there was a LOT of good wrestling this week. THE MOST EVER! I think I'm going with Claudio/ Takeshita but yeah, there is a lot of matches to compete with it.

Voted for Takeshita vs Claudio. Mox vs Jericho was awesome and probably better, but that Liontamer That Said FUCK ALL CLOCKS got really annoying. The rest of that match smoked, though. Darby vs Brody was awesome, but was overbooked in the middle. Those two have amazing chemistry and Round 3 better happen. Wanted to voted for Jamie Hayter vs Rosa, but they've got a better match in them. We are spoiled rotten, folks.

DEANLOWNATURAL now!

DEANLOW RULES THE EARLY POLL!

Ruby made it all the way to the finals of the first one, can't find a better competitor to win next year in my mind

I was sure that Claudio vs Takeasnack was going to completely run away with this poll. I was also certain that it wouldn't merit a mention on The Ringer. Oh boy was I happy to be completely wrong about that second one! Will recency bias and bloodlust combine to make me wrong about the first prediction? CeasaROH vs Cinnesuke is off to a two-vote head start!

Oh. Hell. Yes! We got to hear at least part of "Cash In" THREE times. For those who wish I would be less positive sometimes, I have something for you to hang your hat on: An actual complaint from Gordlow about something that happened on an AEW TV show: In my opinion, that Sonny Kiss match was too short. I await the angry blowback from all of my fellow AEW defenders. I hope none of you feel too betrayed by my heel turn here. My first loyalty is to the truth. But hey! Now Sonny's a Trustbuster, so maybe we'll see her on TV more often! Beaudreaux or Boudreaux is 2020s Ludvig Borga without the xenophobic element. I mean that as a huge compliment. How great is it that AEW can give us a Dynamite bookended by two bloodbaths and follow that up with a show that is mostly goofy fun (Tay and Sammy kissing! Beardhausen! Ass Clan! Orangey Shenanigans!) but it all feels part of a whole? It legit looked like Garcia was gonna cry. Imagine your hero talking about how great you are in front of an arena full of screaming fans. I think the fight will be even better than the promo. Lotta good bumping and stooging today! The Brothers Gunn bouncing around for Redbeard, and a spectacular bit of selling from Slim J were the standouts for me. Orange almost stealing Mark Henry's line, and superfasttalkingEx were also a lot of fun. Ospreay Open vs Death Triangle will be sick. More negativity! Or, maybe, just a legit question: Does anyone care about Reality TV megastar Zack Clayton? I'm the wrong generation and the wrong personality type for that kind of thing. I did enjoy the first couple of seasons of the "Here, guys get beaten off" UFC reality TV show. And I love Tom Lawlor in New Japan...

The GOAT.

It's a battle of differing t-shirts! Dragonslayer is so fucking awesome. American Dragon is so fucking awesome! Well that heated up nicely. Skye Blue and Dante Martin should make out like Sammy and Tay! PUT THE BELTS ON THEM! Dante looks fucking great in this- bringing the ass stomp to his hometown. Skye Blue looks fucking great in this too- bringing the ass stomp to her boyfriends hometown! I don't understand why Tay is Tay Melo now. I never understood the Spanish taking of the maiden name of the man's... mother? Or what is it? I'm not the smartest man on earth. Either way, this match is waaaaay fun. Sammy and Tay are so fucking great as HEAT MACHINES. GREAT ludicrous double team by Tay AND DANTE! Tay crushes Skye with a TAY KO! That was awesome. PUT ALL THE BELTS ON TAY MELO! Hey! It's Parker Boudreaux! It's Sonny Kiss! Sonny Kiss gets on TV for the first time since 2020! Sonny Kiss gets squashed by a guy who had six matches in the WWE! The ASS BOYS! Danhausen DOESN'T have a beard! Erick Redbeard ISN'T wearing a Kreator shirt! Austin Gunn is fucking great leaning into getting murdered by a Redbeard shoulder block. Danhausen becomes our face in peril as we go to picture in picture. Danhausen hits a crazy Tarantula Hold while we wait for a normal picture. The Ass Boys are great beating on him after he releases the hold. The Gunn Clubb are a budding great heel tag team. Erick Redbeard is fucking GREAT as Robert Gibson. Danhausen tags in and Billy Gunn CHEATS to make Redbeard fall out the ring! Austin hits a Famouser on Danhausen for the WIN! THAT was fun. This is a night of fun wrestling. Allright, Zack Clayton will get slaughtered by Hook next week. It's Orange Cassidy! It's Ari Diavari! Diavari produced that awesome women's tag match where Jamie Hayter got the win. Cassidy puts together great matches. This should be good from a theoretical standpoint. Diavari does the Jericho in Canada thing of turning on his hometown. There is added extra fucking around to start this. This match is good. Hey! Isn't it time for the Trustbusters to get in a feud with the House of Black. Brodie King versus Parker Boudreaux would be neat. ALL WRESTLING GOES THROUGH THE HOUSE OF BLACK! Man, Cassidy is OVER. He is such a great babyface. Ari Diavaru attempts a Poontangler! This match is fucking great! Cassidy is the BEST BOUT MACHINE! Diavari is like the new Rick Martell! POONTANGLER! FOR TWO! ORANGE PUNCH! Man, that was WAAAAAAAAAY better than it had any right to be. Postmatch, the Trustbusters get their heat back! Sonny Kiss comes out to make the save! She turns on Orange Cassidy! AWESOME! That was fucking great. SONNY KISS IS EVIL! YES! EVIL SONNY KISS! AEW RULES THE MOTHERFUCKING WORLD!

This is actually my first time hearing Amon Amarth. Swedish Bolt Thrower, apparently. It's not bad but is totally unchallenging. You can tell the director was specifically hipped to Accept's "Midnight Mover" video by the band, only they told him to maybe not make people puke this time around. Serious caution: If you are easily motion sick you do not need to watch that.

And away we go with this arcane gem from @Matt D- https://drive.google.com/file/d/1ZkiGfIC4muVK95qUPwV0rsXx-K0dOQO0/view?usp=sharing - we got your Mid-Atlantic Championship Wrestling/NWA card from Norfolk, Virginia at the Scope Coliseum, 09/11/1986 (The Italian Stallion defeats Mark Fleming, Misty Blue defeats Linda Dallas (attn. @DEAN), Buddy Landel defeats Hector Guerrero, Arn Anderson defeats The Warlord, NWA National Heavyweight Title Match Wahoo McDaniel (c) defeats Ivan Koloff (oh my, attn. RAF), NWA United States Heavyweight Title Match Nikita Koloff (c) defeats Magnum TA by DQ (post the best-of-7 series), NWA World Tag Team Title Best Two Out Of Three Falls Match The Rock 'n' Roll Express (Ricky Morton & Robert Gibson) (c) defeat The Midnight Express (Bobby Eaton & Dennis Condrey) (w/Jim Cornette) [2:1], Street Fight Dusty Rhodes defeats Big Bubba Rogers by Count Out (in a street fight?)), and I am watching the main event, daddy, a NWA World Heavyweight Title Match with your champ Ric Flair against a mildly babyface Dick Murdoch. This match appears to be from a Japanese broadcast, no worries, I imagine just this one bout was shown there but the whole thing was hopefully filmed for future generations to learn from. Let us not forget that Mr. Flair is working with one of his heroes here. Baby Doll is at ringside. Incidentally, one of our rescue cats came to us named Baby Doll, and she is a dirty jezebel too but I love both species of BD. Two-legged Baby Doll does not interfere at all, and merely has to perform some reaction shots for the benefit of Her Man - maybe that's due to the Japan audience? Tommy Young is your ref and as usual with Flair matches he gets involved. He does have to do the untangling of the combatants' legs after a Figure Four is rope-breaked, I dig that. And a big Yahweh blessing to the potty-mouthed Slick Ric supporter at ringside, screaming out encouragement. Where are you now, adult Flair fan, did you take the same paths as your idol or are you stagnating in a VA suburb? My big impression of this match is how hurried it is: they went immediately into the lock-up, and the execution, story and psychology are performed at an accelerated pace over the course of a no nonsense 15 minutes. Maybe some of the previous matches went long, and there was a curfew? Probably Dusty's match went over, I bet, that's so Dusty. It's pretty back and forth, and the final sequence gets a bit involved, and yes everybody, Flair's naked ass makes an appearance. Oh, Ric, we were all so young and innocent then. My only objection was to thee World's Softest Brainbuster, I mean, the Japanese announcers couldn't even give out a AHBRAINBOOSTAHUUUU, it was just abrainbusta, damn. Video and camerawork was first rate, and I have never seen this before, so it's pretty exciting. So, thank you Matt D, this is on my hard drive for a later rewatch.

But this was in '97 and they definitely already doing this during their '94 family feud with Bret/Bulldog vs Owen/Neidhart. So that was even more advanced for the time. That beautiful jump to the top rope into a back flip and a hip toss spot can be seen in New Foundation vs Orient Express match from '92 Royal Rumble also! In 1992!

Solid night of matches tonight all the way through. Great to see VXT capture the knockouts tags so quickly, but surprised it got bumped to the preshow and was pretty short. Both have been on fire. Speedball/Evans delivered the goods. Finish felt weirdly rushed as Evans' spider german looked killer at first. I hope Jack sticks around for more in the X Division. Bandido/Horus was awesome as expected. Back to back fun chaotic hardcore matches with Sami/Maclin and the 8 man tag. Enjoyed the ongoing story of Sami/Maclin throughout the show. Love that Masha is finally ready to come for the title, that should be epic. Speaking of epic, Alexander/Shelley delivered as such, as expected. Great stuff from both. full Emergence results:

The Rob Van Damn set was really good. Between that and the ECW DVD you had all three Jerry Lynn/RVD matches

I forgot to mention, Dante was the most over performer (outside of Punk and Kingston).

So Masha is going to be the KnockOuts champion.

I like your posts and enjoy you on here. I hope you’re not hard on yourself or getting guff about something. You seem like a swell person.

CRAZINESS!

Good stuff. But. Uhhhh.. Someone needs to politely explain to Mr. Vintage Purorseu that literally none of that is "matwork." While we are at it, that is also not in my opinion vintage puroresu (It = being pedantic)

Fun show overall. I guess it's going to be Athena vs. Jade at All Out? That wasn't much of a "return" for FTR. All they did was come out and back up Wardlow. Did Wardlow even need their help? I get that Keith Lee and Swerve are the tag champs right now, but I feel like they could find something more productive than FTR. Not to mention, they made it seem like there was going to be something big in mind for FTR beforehand. Moxley and Jericho had a good match. Say what you will about Jericho, but at 51, he can still work a high level main event match, and getting back into shape has definitely helped his in-ring work. Still pulling off a Lionsault and springboard dropkicks. Great hurricarana as well. I'd even argue that this match should've headlined Battle of the Belts III OR even All Out. Just saying, the Battle of the Belts shows are definitely suffering right now and they have no buzz or intrigue anymore. Feels like AEW has abandoned them. These shows should feel like big events. I know Punk is back and they are starting the build to Punk/Moxley, but is Punk truly ready? Just a couple weeks ago, he was still wearing the medical boot, and he said his foot was in a lot of pain. So I hope he's not rushing things.

Well, it is on free TV. I'll start adding them next week.

Went with GUNTHER/Nakamura. That was damn good. Nothing came close to it for me, but I did miss Claudio/Takeshita which probably would have. Actually if we allowed NJPW on AXS I have to admit it would go to Juice/Finlay.

THE REALITY has arrived! Quickly finding out I may be the lone Big Zack Clayton fan! I thought his work was good and improving throughout his time on Dark, has a great star look, but I'm also a Jersey Shore fan. His matches have gotten AEW clips shown on Jersey Shore a couple times. I personally thought he would excel as he was, doing more of an underdog babyface role, but Jersey Shore Heel should work out well too. Popped huge for his appearance here as I was not expecting that at all. Of course he's just getting killed next week, but I'd like to still somehow see it lead to a regular spot for him on the roster. I dig the Trustbusters, their theme has gotten them over for me. Didn't expect the Sonny Kiss turn to happen tonight at all, figured the squash was going to be it for now and then back to Dark. Nice character development change. Quake by the Lake delivers. Looking forward to AEW House of the Dragon next week.

Liking these video packages.

Raquel/Aliyah vs. Shotzi/Xia was decent. Neither team is used to each other per say so there was some slight awkwardness, but it all came together well enough in the end. That said I'm pretty sure poor Shotzi got a little fucked up again with Raquel before the match ended. That woman has the worst luck or maybe the best since she survives it all. The Kofi vs. VR brawl was fun. When I saw Top Dolla and Ashante was returning I was kind of disappointed as I thought it would be on their own, but reforming Hit Row with B-Fab was nice to see even if Swerve was the only one who really showed potential to be a big star on his own. The group works together well still and their entrance is pretty damn great. Kross's promo was decent. Dug all the segments with the Usos, Sami, and Drew along with the eventual Drew/Madcap vs. Usos match. The segment with Ronda, Liv, and Shayna was interesting. Had a lot of decent moments, but it again shows how bad they fucked with that Summerslam finish. Ronda went from being hated to begrudged tweener to beloved screwed over face. That would be fine if Ronda was a remotely decent face and Liv wasn't pretty damn well loved before all of it. Stark & Lyons promo was pretty decent. Will be interesting to see how far they go. Hoping Stark takes the belt and Toxic Attraction fucks her and Lyons over on Smackdown. GUNTHER/Nakamura was so damn good. Dug the arm work from Nakamura and subsequent selling by Gunther. They built into everything so well. Kind of hope they get an even bigger rematch at some point. Nakamura looking kind of pissed post match gives me some small hope this isn't the last 1on1 meeting between them. Was nice to see the IC Title match properly main event. Hopefully it happens more often.

Yup. Atlantis Jr. vs. Mistico was really really cool and is currently in my Top 10 for the year. I'm aware of some of the pushback against Atlantis Jr. over the last few years but THIS is the thing he should be doing, right? The inheritor of one of the world's great babyface legacies but he can't help being a natural rudo... oh God, in this match he's what AEW Cody shoulda been?? The idea of Mistico as resented, overpushed, old-hat babyface who can still fucking go like crazy is such a good foil for all that. I'll probably trudge through the Copa Dinastias stuff but I feel semi-hyped for the Anniversary show. I can vibe with it.

They also had those FMW DVDs with the weird English commentary with terrible Russo storylines, but the matches were great.

UDO DIRKSCHNEIDER~!

I useta be able to to start watching Smackdown at 9:45, fast forward through all the CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT, watch the 8 minutes of wrestling and catch the start of RAMPAGE at 10. But now that HHH is in charge it's WORKRATE CENTRAL! So here it is, 8:50 and I'm wondering if I'll miss the start of RAMPAGE. There are worse things in the world than having too much wrestling on Smackdown. Raquel Gonzalez and Aliyah take on Shotzi and Xia Li! Raquel IS Vader. She has a million uses of her power. I'm digging Aliyah. It breaks down at ringside with Sonya Deville and Natalya getting involved in the fisticuffs. Xia Li is the Aaron Solo of Smackdown. It is her DESTINY to be pinned by Raquel Rodriguez. Aliyah is our face in peril and she makes the HOT TAG and Raquel CRUSHES Shotzi. Shotzi TAGS IN XIA! YES! XIA fulfills her DESTINY! Raquel Rodriguez is awesome. It's my first time seeing Hit Row. They beat two dudes. There is a lot of stuff I can fast forward through and it feels good. The Usos take on Drew McIntyre. They beat the crap out of Drew! MADCAP MOSS! This is fun. Madcap makes the hot tag and I'm getting really close to getting to Smackdown in real time. Sami Zayn runs in and distracts Drew Mid-Claymore! Nice nearfall off an Usos Love Machine Splash. Drew McIntyre hits the Claymore! NEW UNIFIED CHAMPIONS! would have been fun. That was fun anyway. Madcap Moss is a hoot. Eh, 9:29 and I'm caught up. This isn't like RAW with six good wrestling matches. There has been two and a lot of stuff to fast forward through. I can accept that. I guess Zoey Stark isn't beating Mandy Rose? I don't know. Would you want your champ losing in a tag match on Smackdown? Or do you want your champion to have a surprising run in the tag tournament? Interesting. What will HHH do? Shinsuke Nakamura and GUNTHER should be good. SURPRISE! It is! GUNTHER is fucking great. Ludvig Kaiser acts all European at ringside. GUNTHER IS FUCKING AWESOME. Since Smackdown doesn't do picture in picture, I can pee during commercials. Dreams do come true. Kaiser acts like he watches a lot of Opera. GUNTHER sells the arm and still hits psychotically great power moves. Is GUNTHER a robot? Could be. GREAT nearfall on a Nakamura knee to the face. SUWA Dropkick by GUNTHER! GREAT fucking LARIAT by GUNTHER. FOR TWO! GUNTHER is the Konosuke Takeshita of Smackdown. OH NO! That can only mean one thing! Oh wait, GUNTHER CRUSHES NAKAMURA WITH A POWERBOMB! And that's that. That was fucking GREAT.

Its funny in hindsight that with such an incredible leap in video quality from VHS to DVD, that for my friends to take the plunge on buying a DVD player it was initial releases like the Matrix and the Lord of the Rings movies, but for me, the "killer app" that got me to join the DVD generation was the 2002 release of the Hulk Still Rules DVD set.

re-spoiler alert: i DID remember! but now i'm drunk and you get a link instead of an imbedded pic. fix tomorrow? maybe but probably not.

I miss Lucha Underground. I’d give anything for another season as good as seasons 1-3

Ernie Ladd may be the king of the inappropriate promo.

TBH, I would love to see the Best Friends take the whole damn thing. Chucky / Trent / Orange are Day One guys and deserve some sort of title run. Make them your inaugural champs and let them hold the belts for 90 days before sending HoB or Osprey / Aussie Open to kill them at some TBD PPV. The HoB side of the bracket just seems to be filled with teams that should normally be jobbing to those dudes. That's why I say it's a walk-in.

I forgot about that Warrior DVD. Sure, Warrior was a weirdo, homophobic, animal abusing juice head, but surely there has to be some medium between "Warrior Award is for true heroes " and "total fucking burial on tape from every single employee." You know WWE's pettiness is on another level when they can get me to feel empathy for that guy.

Max the Impaler has arrived in Japan. Japan seems a little perturbed to see them.

Road Report - QUAKE THAT LAKE! PREFACE: The Night Before And so our journey begins, not with a whimper but with a misread text. The night before I was an extra hour later at work (long story) making sure derps are set for the week (I was taking Wednesday-Friday off). I’m kind of a savior figure where my hard work and sacrifice redeems the soul of the company and I’m a hero to those who benefit from the cross my tentacles are nailed to. If not, me being under-appreciated as my inky blood drips out of the punctured holes in my forehead, caused by the crown of thorns pressed against my oblong skull-less forehead by non-believers who shall eternally be damned by not liking my zingers. My wife texts me asking when I’ll be home because her brothers are coming over and she’s trying to make a homemade hormel dip and lil-Octopus is making it difficult she hasn’t started yet. She probably told me and me being a great listener totally heard and a great rememberer totally remembered. I quickly finish scheduling a skid to be picked up and delivered tomorrow. I head home to a family enjoying the presence of my smiling baby. Wife (for privacy reasons we’ll call her by her name, Jasmyne) asks if I can run to the gas station to grab juices and waters. I ask my brother in laws what type of drinks they would like. They politely say anything is fine. I tell “Jasmyne” (for those who didn’t read the previous parentheses, “Jasmyne” is “my wife”) that I’ll get some ice teas and “Jasmyne” (again, “Jasmyne” is “my wife”) says only I like ice teas. Ok, what should I get? “Jasmyne” (“my wife”) says I should see what her brothers want. I tell “Jasmyne” (“wife”) that they don’t have a preference. So “Jasmyne” (see previous few parentheses for character description) says just get whatever. I find ice teas to be whatever but I guess ice teas are among something else, as opposed to whatever. So I go to the gas station to get whatever and myself something else. I’m in the mood for something else so I’ll get myself something else, but “Jasmyne” (woman I married) says only I like something else but I can still get myself something else as long as I get others whatever. So as I’m going to the whatever section of the gas station, I get a text from my work friend (who is going to the show with me. My other friend, we’ll call him by his name “Ryan”, got COVID. So work friend, again we’ll call him by “work friend” is going to the show with me) says sorry something came up and logistics and something something running late got held up. I can’t read this fully, I’m focused on getting the right whatever so “Jasmyne’s” (my wife’s) family can have something to drink with the dip “Jasmyne” (wife) is making. As I grab some whatever I text back “work friend” that it’s totally cool if it’s too busy right now he doesn’t need to go because I know I asked him short notice. I’m now walking to the something else section to get myself ice tea and “work friend texts back that he’s excited to go but totally understands if someone who knows the product wants to go and he’ll not go if that’s what I want. What? I say he should go if he wants and we’ll make whatever work if he’s running late. “Work friend” is confused, I’m confused. But I got to focus on quenching the thirst of “Jasmyne’s” (wife’s) brothers. Long story short, “Jasmyne’s” (wife’s) dip is other worldly. I get a tear in my eye thinking back to that dip. It was cheesy but not over powering. I felt satisfied but not full. I read “Jasmyne” (the women I have a child with) the confusing text from “work friend” and realize it wasn’t confused all. He was talking about at the shift he was gonna hit me up before I left but got pulled away in a meeting and we couldn’t go over where we’d meet before the event. I apologize for my poor reading comprehension and we’re ready for a day of fun. CHAPTER 1: The Journey to Fun is Paved with Good Intentions Lil Octopus is dropped off at my brother Giraffe’s house. I’m in the car ready to decide what to eat before the fun. I know I have a few quick chores I’d like to get done at home before wrestling, but I should eat first. I’m leaning toward Taco Bell because it’s quick and easy. But that’s not fun for a write up. My friends on the internet don’t want to read about me biting into a Doritos Gordita Crunch w/ Extra Nacho Cheese, slurping it down with an ice cold Baja Blast, and then devouring both a Spicy Cheesy Beef Burrito w/ Creamy Jalapeño sauce wrapped in a Chicken Quesadilla AND a soft shell beef taco w/ avocado ranch. They would think I’m basic. The last thing I want is @Curt McGirt to find me uninteresting. I need good thinking music. So I turn on Who Shot Ya by Notorious BIG. I start to imagine I am a wrestler and entering the ring in the big blowoff match in my feud with Eddie Kingston. The stipulation up to this point after I brutally sneak attacked him is that we couldn’t touch each other or we’d be banned from wrestling for life. So he comes in all mad. I enter (sadly I can’t use the name Octopus because that spazzy Gresham-fucker has it. So I go by my @Matt D approved CHIKARA name, Auteur OctoRock) and the music playing is Who Shot Ya. The titantron is footage of me attacking Kingston and I am in a Ric Flair robe. My entourage of El Satanico and Toshiaki Kawada are all waving flags that say “Death to the Mad King” and I have on a shirt that says “Fuck Derek Jeter” (this is at Grand Slam so it’s causing a lot of heat). Kingston loves Jeter and is pissed off as I dance. The bell rings and he punches me in the face. The jolt of the punch wakes me up from my day dream where I am in an athletic sport with a sexier body and slightly taller. I see I am parked at El Lorito. I’m ready for Mexican food. I meander up to the bar and Georgio is working. Nice lad. He gives me chips and salsa and asks what I’m having. I get a tall Pacifico. The tap and the mug is a little frozen, so the top portion is like an icy. Not ideal, but I use the lime to mix that ish in and it was cold and delicious. I know what I want food wise and Georgia sees it in my eyes. At the same time we say it. We utter it. We announce it. Chori Polo. Then there she is. The waitress that the other waiter last time said had a crush on me. She looks at me longingly, pain in her eyes. I say his and she smiles. Smiles longingly. She then walks by me. Walks by me longingly. Takes the order of other patrons. Takes their order at me longingly. It’s really tough being me because every time I go to a restaurant or a store or traffic or anywhere there usually ends up being a woman that totally wants me because I’m so awesome. With grace and humble care I have to regularly let them down. None of this is said out loud but everyone knows what’s going on and I handle the situation smoothly like a gentleman. It’s tough being a good guy and having to break this many hearts. But I’m a great husband and despite their being a market for me, I have to remain a limited edition and be faithful to “Jasmyne” (my wife) even though it’s clear her brothers wouldn’t have mind it if I just fucking got ice tea. CHAPTER 2: Return to Form Fast forward to me at home. I trim up my neck and my cheeks. Keep the beard long but taming it. Lots of loose hair cut and I shower. I lather up my neck and cheeks with soap. I make the dumb move of overly soaping and I rub up my beard. It’s due for a good cleaning. I get out and I just feel my beard is so much drier. I cleaned out the man juice that keeps it from overly frizzing. I regret this and need to shower again with a new cream. I grab all I can find is “Jasmyne’s” (the love of my life’s) conditioner. It helps a little but my beard is slightly drier that usual. I know my skin will be itchy later and I’m less likely to do a selfie now that my beard isn’t up to snuff. Should I cancel? What’s the point of going to a show if I can’t take a picture of myself watching it? I would cancel, but “Work Friend” is excited. I must brave forward, dry. And forward I go. “Work Friend” is ready. We are going to meet at my old work (a camera shop) that’s not too far from his place (North East Minneapolis) and not far from Target Center. The original plan was to meet at a brewery, but honestly the parking wouldn’t have been as nice and there has been some carjackings the past year, so I was feeling more something I’m familiar with. The drive itself was uneventful. Fiona Apple was the music of choice, specifically the song Every Single Night is worth mentioning. I go into my old work and see they are understaffed today (a few people sick) and it is busy. So I start helping a few people on the sales floor. Get a guy a box and start selling him on some old super 8 film cameras. Pretty junky, but cheap. Talk about a Pelican case with another guy and grab a film order for a gal. Then go in the film cooler and grab a beer (they were always well stocked) and chill in the inventory room. A few old buds go back there as the shop is winding down and we all share a laugh and tease each other. Good fun, if there was more money I’d probably never have left. But honestly, I needed the change and the world became different during the pandemic. “Work Friend” shows up and we load up his bike in the back of my car. We decide we shall not Uber but march the mile and a half to the show. It’s hot out but not too hot. I fear sweat but I think we will be fine. I need the movement and fresh air. We joke and talk life on our journey. Tossing the Hennepin bridge and making our way to the heart of the city. It’s a strange feeling walking through there. Areas I loved have either been gentrified and friends forced to move or have broken down. This isn’t the part of the city that had the riots/ demonstrations. But it’s a part that has been hit hard economically. Right before that, especially on the North East side has been changed to expensive high rises. A mix of wealth and struggle. After the bridge we hop from Hennepin and go to 1st. Honestly, no need to pass the library and the area surrounding that. By the time we get to the Target Center, I am just the right kind of ready to sit. The heaviness of the beer and the heat has left me thirsty and prepared for the show. CHAPTER 4: Inside the Belly of the Beast Get ready for wrestling. I want an overpriced drink and a shirt to remember the fun by. The line isn’t bad before the show so I scope out the options. I’m not feeling a shirt with heavy back designs. Plus, I don’t know if I really want a specific wrestler shirt. I would do BCC, but I opted for a purple AEW shirt. Purple is a Minnesota color (Prince and the Vikings) so I feel it would be a good memory of the fun to come. (picture taken the following morning) I’m thinking about overpriced Nachos. I tell myself I’ll do that once I find my seat because Dark is starting up. We get to our spots and I realize how dumb I am. We are in the middle of a section so I’ll likely not grab food until just before Dynamite. Fuck, I want food but I already sat. Directly in front of me sits two dudes and both have nachos. The portions look big. Wet sauce, yet crispy chips. I really fucked up. We have Serena Deeb kicking the shit out of some poor jobber and I can only focus on the Jabaroni’s crunching on chips and slurping the dripping cheese sauce. Oh how I wish I was slurping that cheese. Why do I make the decisions I make? Then it happens. They both finish. They are done. And they awkwardly keep the paper bowls on their laps. Those dumb fuckers, I’m the genius! They hang on to the carcass of yum. Fearing putting it under their seat due to the wet, I realize my decision to hold off was the right one. I proudly sip my overpriced but heavy Jameson Ginger. Dark was neat. I won’t spoil because I’m not sure when their posted. 2 notes, Cinnabon Man got a big pop and people stood to clap for him before his match. Heartwarmingly, local talent Free-Range Kara was a jobber and surprisingly got a good cheer. People were chanting and cheering for her and I’m fairly sure she wasn’t even really announced as her gimmick name. Hopefully that comes across on YouTube. Dark ends and we go to pee before the start of the show. We walk to a farther bathroom with no line. Peeing goes without a problem. Totally normal average urination. I decide on overpriced Buffalo Tenders with fries. Easy eating and less wet then nachos. Show starts up and I hear Darby’s music. Oh snap, they’re starting with the Coffin Match?! Fun will happen indeed. CHAPTER 5: Boom Goes the Dynamite! COVER YOUR MOUTH WHEN YOU’RE COFFIN: The Coffin match was beautifully violent. Both men allowing themselves to be so bruised and battered. People started freaking out over the tables being grabbed. When the second table didn’t cooperate, people chuckled. But the moment Brodie climbed the ropes it got intense again. Everyone erupted when Darby moved. On tv, I’m sure the ending half was overbooked, but it was very exciting live. When HoB showed up I was pumped up. There was an adorable kid behind us that kept yelling “I SAW THE COFFIN MOVE. THA COFFIN IS MOVING” the crowd started chanting “We want Sting! We want Sting!” He comes out of the coffin and everyone starts shouting. Sting and Malakai have a stare down on the ramp and Darby wins. Allie’s thin floppy body and visual lack of protection of his body is just mesmerizing. Having him be tossed around by Brodie is just a smart matchup. It’s hard to cheer against him. Plus he has such a unique look and demeanor that he really is one of a kind. He gets compared to Jeff Hardy for being young and art-rock-hip and even Foley for his wild bumps. But he’s his own monster. I fear for the kids inspired by him to go crazier but love what he is doing now. Fun note - I called the singer of his theme song CC Allin and “Work Friend” laughed and corrected me. LUCHA MADNESS: Very likely up until this pint the best match I’ve ever seen live. I’ll pray on it, because that also includes Austin Aries vs Takeshi Morishima and Claudio Castagnoli vs Mike Quackenbush. I explained to “Work Friend” that internet people don’t like Penta’s taunts but Penta’s taunts are actually neat. Everyone in the stadium nodded in agreement. This was fun. Each person fits my test of greatness which is, “Do your eyes follow a specific worker the entire match?” It sounds silly, but I wish I could have focused on everyone. I heard an explanation of enjoying hockey is gradual development of being able to see more. You start following the puck when you’re new. Then you can start noticing specific players or positions as well. Then you get to a spot where you’re noticing things being done away from the puck that actually helps develop the play. Then you can see the rink and the game that happens within it. A good tornado tag match is like that. Andrade is a fucking star and I wish I had white pants like him, Rush is a spectacular wrestler who just breathes doing the little things great even when the camera probably isn’t on him, Fenix is a spectacle and effortlessly does mind blowing feats, and Penta has so much charisma he is like a lucha James Brown. I hope they fight every show. I’d love to rewatch this and see what the camera saw, it was wonderful. People chanted “throw it back” for the mask but obviously that didn’t happen. Good ending, arguably overdone of losing a mask but it still hits when it happens to a luchadore. For me, at least. Andrade and Rush are just so good. I can’t express enough. Rush has great looking punches and strikes. Everything he does is believable. Fun note - At the end of the event, “Work Friend” said this match was his favorite part of the show. DINODINNER: Luchasaurus is cool and everyone likes him. I spent a long time explaining the Jungle Boy vs Christian Cage feud to “Work Friend” and the match is a squash. Which is good! But funny with how much backstory I put in. CUTE BACKSTAGE CUTE: I just told “Work Friend” I’d send him a long video or two. All in all, I’m pumped for what’s to come. HEY RICKY YOU’RE SO FINE, YOU BLOW MY MIND: Starks is a star. He has it. I won’t ramble about this match, but I will say I loooooooooved Starks running away after the match and celebrating in the crowd. So much more realistic than a super beat down of the Factory. Not everyone needs to be super human. TBS? CARGILL, YES!: Jade. Jade is great. I’m sure Madison Reign is too, but the crowd didn’t really know her. But they knew and loved Jade. Jade is money. But importantly, ATHENA IS MONEY. I knew when she was hired the cocky, petty, fun personality I loved on UUDD was going to be unleashed. If she stays healthy she is going to be so big. If I ran a wrestling company (Derp Elite Wrestling) she would be one of the faces of the company. I’d put her on Conan or whatever late night talk show is big and watch me make money off the likability of other people. THE LONG HOLD: The entrances to the main event were magic. Lionheart with old footage on the titantron. I was ready to sing Judas like a douche but instead enjoyed the unique experience of the match. Mox going through the crowd and standing among them to lift his title looks just as cool live as it does on tv. In the back of my head I was skeptical. I knew it would be good but I had a feeling this would be putting Jericho over as a technical wizard and Mox selling the entire match. For the most part, that’s what it was, but a really good version of that! Good stretching and fighting for positioning. Mox sold wonderfully and Jericho looked great. The earring getting ripped out was sick and I loved it. You can’t go wrong with ear blood. The long Walls of Jericho (Walls of Lionsomethingsomething?) was interesting. I felt it was to not over work Jericho but the longer the hold was in and the more Moxley sold that he was in and out of consciousness and in absolute agony people went from the edge of their seats to slowly a buzz to an insane fever pitch. People were yelling for Mox. Just brilliant crowd work! I didn’t think about it being picture and picture so that’s now funny to me. I was watching it happen and went from ok this is cool to holy shit I’m pumped and the whole arena is going apeshit. The guy next to me that I didn’t know asked if I thought Jericho could win it. I told him because how much Mox was selling early I didn’t think so. But in that moment I thought Moxley would pass out. He got to the ropes and I was ecstatic. Then Sammy tosses in the bat. I don’t know if this came off on tv but he way over tossed it and went out of the ring and a stagehand sneak handed it back to Jericho. When he used that I thought it was over. Then I thought it was over with the Judas Effect. I never been emotionally worked this much in a match live before. Maybe this is the greatest match I’ve ever seen live? It’s at least better than a drunken Sandman stumbling against local ICP Foley hybrid, Horace the Psychopath. When Jericho tapped we all exploded. A definitive win against Stretch Armstrong, the favorite Hart graduate. Post match fight. When Kingston was out there was loud “Eddie! Eddie! Eddie!” Chants. I thought it was going to be Danielson making the save. They had a promo picture for him speaking at Rampage earlier, so they twisted me!!! I brought my phone out and I was all excited. Oh snap, Punk! I’ll post that video later. Stare down good fun. Claudio made me smile with how pumped up he was with Mox on the ramp. Punk hops around on his leg and does his famous leg Chris-cross-applesauce. Show ends. Kahn says thanks. Derp derp derp. I won’t go into Rampage but fuck, I was so tired by that point. Only thing I’ll mention is that the biggest pops of the night all together was local guy Dante Martin. We all chanted “612! 612!” Which is the area code. Then a lot of people nearby talked about wrestling graduates from Robinsdale Highschool. Good fun. CHAPTER 5: This is the End, my “Work Friend”, the End Good event. Walking out was easy peasey. We were tucked out but decided to walk back instead of Uber. It’s a nice night out. Not too dark but very late. We know the derp roads to derp. I’m going to get some slices on the way back and surprise “Jasmyne” (my wife) with one. We would go there after late night derpin around or dancin or derpin downtown. There’s two different spots a block away from each other that are pretty much the same in terms of quality. Very good. Just depends what angle you’re walking closest to. We chose Pizza Vista and I almost didn’t recognize it from one of the doors being boarded up with wood over the glass. The sitting area was taped off and oddly enough it looked like broken stacks of wood piled on top of everything. Meh, the world ending. I went basic today (sorry Curt) and got 1 sausage pepperoni and 2 pepperoni. “Jasmyne” (wife) will get 1 of the peps. We walk back to the car and eat our pizza (I just eat the sausage pep) and talk with a Target Center worker was was on the floor for the show and had fun but we all agreed it was loooong. Especially how early they have to get there to set the building up. Long story short I drop “work friend” off at his place so he doesn’t have to bike late and I ramble about how the industry went from George Hackenschmidt to the Monday Night Wars. He had a fun time and we’re friends. “Jasmyne” (my wife) asks if I want to pick us up Taco Bell on the way home and I tell her about the pizza. She’s happy and we quietly eat the pizza while lil Octopus is asleep in the other room. I talk about the show and she tells me about her day. A good way to end a fun night.

If you can, try to watch ZSJ vs. Evil, then Okada vs. Lawlor. It’s a satisfying palate cleanser for those feeling worn out. You won’t be wasting your time, I assure you! Okada vs. Lawlor was pretty much exactly what it needed to be due to recent block activity. It’s a truly great match in that sense. There’s more to this story I’m sure, as alluded to at the end, and as there should be. Lawlor has been one of the highlights of the G1, no question.

Anyway, since I know you all look forward to this; SHOW THOUGHTS. -A lot of guys on the Jim Cornette subreddit were bitching about how balls to the wall this match got in the first minute or so. I say fuck those people. Fuck them twice, actually. Once for subscribing to that sub (I don't, but reddit keeps recommending it), and again for bitching about this. Every second of this fucking ruled. Brody King looked like that meme that goes around from the Passion of the Christ set where Mel Gibson is talking to Jim Caviezel while Jimmy C is in full Lord and Savior getup. My mans looked like he tried to motorboat an actual motorboat. This match ruled. Bud Matthews is always welcome on my tv. Looks like HOB vs Sting/Miro/Darby at All Out, unless HOB is in the finals for the trios. They should be, but they won't be. I dug the finish. Protected Brody while keeping Darbs where he needs to be in his gimmick match. Hope to see more of the House of Black, because they rule. -Mox is such a fantastic promo. This one wasn't even anything special, but Mox is so far ahead of everyone on the mic not named Kingston that it comes off as a big deal. -I'm a BIG Andrade fan. I haven't seen much RUSH but early returns have been promising. I can see why Regal wanted to bring RUSH in to nXt. He's got that WWE look to him. Glad he's All Elite instead. I liked this a lot, and I liked Los Fashion Instagrams going over. I hope this trend continues. Have I mentioned I love Andrade? -I'll refrain from saying much about the Bucks/Hanger segment. It was fine. I like the "Lost" phase for Hangman. I think eventually they should circle back around to him as champ, but for now "interloping goof/man of the people" suits him well. I feel like short Jackson was directly referring to me when he talked about the people that don't like the Bucks online. It made me snicker. -New-chasaurus is extremely my shit. I can't decide who's side he's on, but he hasn't directly affected Jungle Boy or Christian Cage as of yet. Part of me wants it to be exactly what Jungle Boy says; simply keeping Christian safe until JB got back. I anxiously await the Jungle Boy/Christian match. Christian is another effortlessly good promo. I hope AEW's backstage crew are union, so they get that insurance coverage. -Despite online rumors, Miro appears to be having the time of his life with these promos. Julia sure didn't try very hard to get Miro in the fold. This shit is really fun to me, and if we get Miro & Brody King bumpin' meat in the near future it'll be a treat. -I was hoping the Factory would go away when Cody did. This feels like a real waste of Ricky Starks' time. Will Hobbs is going to be a STAR. -I'm not sure why this thing with Wardlow and Jay Lethal has to continue. Let's move Wardog on to something more substantial. Satnam Singh is HUGE. If they play this right they could have a big star on their hands. The Pinnacle reuniting to chase off these dopes was choice. Let them get in the trios tournament. Also, Wardlow is an elite wearer of suits. Looks like if a top sports agent was also trying to kill Wonder Woman. Top level fashion game. -JAS B-team promo. God's perfect idiot Matt Menard and Suspenders Ang are such great stooges. I gotta admit; Anna JAS choking out randos backstage is starting to grow on me. She's committing to it and it's working. -Damn. Poor Aaron Solow. Dude could be on Dynamite every week and he'll always be "the dude Bayley dumped." You know they're strapping the good shit to Starkman Jones b/c he got another video package. The line about "as if things couldn't get worse, QT offered me a spot in the Factory" popped me. The timing on that finish was massive, and credit to Solow. He's got nice footwork. I'm 100% here for "Rick Starks; man of the people." Hobbs breaking tv's like those twitter videos of people freaking out when their NFL teams take a bad beat popped me. -Stoke with the Ass Boys is interesting. One day I hope to be as happy about anything as Bill Ass is when Danhausen enters the room. -I've never been super into Best Friends. I think I always held the fact that they went over P&P in that parking lot fight against them, but they've been a lot of fun lately. Ari Daivari is clearly having fun. Parker Boudreaux looks like that one kid every guy who grew up in the south knows; aloof, really good at football but his parents never come to the games, girlfriend who is way too hot for him. Slim J is my kind of goofy. -This women's match just suffered from a total lack of cohesion. Both these women are capable of having a compelling tv match, they just don't work well together. I wonder if Rayne was calling spots that Jade had never done before. It looked like she was having to tell her how to bump for that neckbreaker right before she hit it. Let's all move on from this. -It's time. Thunder Rosa, you gotsta go. Toni Storm in action! -They announced a metric asston of shit for Rampage. This seems like too much. Rampage looks like dogshit actually, other than Swerve in our Glory and Toni Storm against Sign KiLynn King. Ehh. Maybe not. The more shit they announce the less offended I am by Rampage's continued existence. "HOUSE OF THE DRAGON." Next week is gonna SLAP. Bryan/Garcia II; Electric Boogaloo. Bucks and "Held Up" against Los Fashion Instagrams! It's such good shit, pal. -I was not for a second ever really sure Mox was in jeopardy until the shenanigans started. I watch Sammy throw Floyd into the ring and thought to myself; "you know, if they were gonna take the belt off Mox, this would be how to do it." Then Mox got the bulldog choke on and it was done. Minor complaint: Mox kicked out of the Judas Effect before. Full Gear 2020. The kickout so powerful it spawned a global pandemic. Postmatch was fine. I'm not all that excitedfor Punk to be back, but I know lots of people are, so good for them. I'm just a Mox guy, and I think he's done phenomenal work since getting clean. I just don't see how you take the title off that guy. I know that opens up Kingston/Punk at Grand Slam, but I still don't love it. AEW's got a lot of fun things potentially lined up. They also have some choices to make. I hope they maintain focus and stop diluting their on-air product with ROH and NJPW. Focus on your stars, established and young. - - -

Not only is the angle great, but Savage's arc from this to Macho King to retirement to reconciliation with Liz and back to being champion is one of the great long-term character developments WWE has ever done.

The Main Event on NBC! Megapowers vs Twin Towers. I mentioned it earlier, but it's so cool how they took Akeem and Bossman, two midcarders, and made them into this constant foil for the Megapowers and it lasted something like 5-6 months. It's a lot harder to do long term storytelling like that now that WWE has a PPV every month and five hours plus of TV weekly. As far as matches go, this is really a nothing bout that only serves as place setting for the big angle. It's fun to track Hogan overshadowing Macho from the perspective of ring music. Summerslam: both enter to Randy's theme. Survivor Series: both have separate entrances and themes. This show: both enter to Hogan's theme. Liz is not afraid to take a big-ass bump from Randy flying at her. Definitely someone who came up in some unsavory southern indies. Real "this is our big angle, gotta make it look good" energy. Hogan's acting here is beyond horrible. And you know the big galoot was thinking, "nailed it, brother!" He definitely unironically put this on his reel for film and TV and now you know why he never got to be Denzel's friend. I mean come on. She took a bump. Hogan is acting like she is in a coma after a car wreck or something. LIZBETH IN A COMA I KNOW I KNOW IT'S SERIOUS! DO YOU REALLY THINK SHE'LL PULL THROUGH? I wish I could find the TV version of this (as suggested by @Log) so I could hear Hogan asking the director for a countdown on live TV but all I could find were goof videos like "WRESTLERS PREDICT 9/11." Liz thankfully wakes up and is like, "go help Randy, you dumb shit!" Savage slapping Hogan and leaving was excellent. Likewise, Savage's acting here was amazing. No fucking lie. You believed this dude felt like Hogan was jealous of his title and his woman. Of course it helped that he probably really did feel that way. But hey, it was great and blew Hogan's Hallmark movie level shit out of the water. Savage attacks Hogan and also throws down Liz and I gotta say I felt actual sadness. This angle got me! Here's a good man who has a good woman and (I know we joke but seriously, go with the storyline here) a legit good friend and he throws it all away because he can't get past his shit. It honestly reminded me of the ending of Revenge of the Sith. In his jealousy, Savage lost everything and went to the dark side. This is an actual tragedy. Top five heel turns in all of wrestling. Wow. Not sure if I need to watch the rest of this show or if I'll just move on to Mania 5. I highly recommend this show for the angle.

Kidd Bandit stepped up to cover the rates of talent that wasn't paid, and Dark Sheik also offered to help cover expenses to get people home. Good people.