BEN!

Where's everybody going? Is there ice cream in catering? You never saw RoH Konnan, have you? Konnan never went faster than slow. Even when he had a jet pack he was slow. Fastest he ever moved was when he had a guy pushing him around in a wheelchair.

Man, Haku does not look like he means that thumbs up at all. And Orndorff also had cancer not that long ago.

Undertaker's never knocked any one out with his strikes. Big Show knocks guys out on the regular with one punch. So Big Show is actually the best pure striker in WWE. That'd be a flawed business model. It's a very poor business model because even if it works as planned then he's shitting all day. Which would mean he's got more problems than even Tammy Sytch and her shit eating friend.

Both of the tags were really good. Little disappointed that the Wyatts didn't do the millions of dollars dance after they won though. Camacho's a big dude. You don't notice how thick he is because of his outfit. Same for Rowan. That guy's a monster with huge legs but you don't notice because he's dressed like a garbageman. Hunico looked really sharp. Glad he's back. Would like to see him and Camacho against the Rhodes Boys. Maybe even turn them good and match them against the Real Americans.

Maybe Chicken used the money he got from selling his teeth to buy his brother a belt. Then his brother got stripped of the title. It's just like the got durn Gift Of The Magi. Or maybe nothing at all like that.

I never liked Monsoon or Heenan. Thought Ventura was great in WCW. Really liked him with Schiavone there. Used to think JBL was the best color commentator of all time when he would have to call Matt Hardy vs. Gregory Helms in these nothing matches every single week and would make them sound like they were important. And then he came back. Wish WWE would shake their commentary teams up. Put Josh Mathews and Lawler on Raw with a rotating third seat of someone like Booker, Regal, or Renee Young. With a three-hour show they can switch out the third seat during the show. Give Lawler his Magistrator back and let him heel a little. Put Cole and JBL on SmackDown with a third. Cole is awful but JBL doesn't let him dominate the broadcast. Problem is JBL then dominates the broadcast. Really wish they'd make some effort in splitting the brands back up too. Still think they should rebrand SmackDown as WCW.

Parts Unknown: The Story Of Pro Wrestling's Fightingest Town And family tree docs for the Samoans, the Welch/Fuller/Golden/Fields family, and Jimmy Hart's First Family.

That's not true. He also started throwing horrible punches and missing his superkick by at least a foot too.

Man, what were people really expecting? When ol' HBShizzle or Old Heart Break Shit as he's known on the streets, got introduced into it, the main event became "What will Michaels do?" rather than "Will Bryan win?". I do think it's hilarious that Cena's return will probably pop a buyrate while Michaels will get some undeserved credit. Surprised to hear that Big Show wasn't there. Figured he would've driven in with his big rig and pulled the cage door off with it or something. Guess he had to hit those highways and byways and haul some freight. Probably listening to ol' Cold Stone on the podcast machine. Learning how to lift those heavy-ass kettlebells. Loss of consortium? Nuh-uh, not with some of that T-Plus. Just a cunt hair's worth and he'll be back singing to his wife, "WELL, IT'S THE BIG SHOW!" again in no time.

Really, in a way, everybody is where they are at least in half due to their father. Except for Davey Boy Smith... ...because he was a test tube baby.

Why haven't they mentioned Punk needing Heyman's ref shenanigans to beat Ryback in the "structure" last year? And Punk's already beat up Heyman a bunch of times. Get to the cell phone on a pole, chicken suit, and skullet vs. mutton chops matches already. I don't care about Daniel Bryan vs. Triple H anymore. When Bryan talks he comes off as poorly as Punk did when he was doing the same rebel vs. the establishment angle a couple of years ago. I want Orton to punt him in the head and put him out on the streets already. Is Big Show driving a big rig for a living now? Either way there was no point to driving it into the building. I want Triple H vs. Big Show, winner takes all. If Triple H wins, he gets Show's truck and Show has to be Stephanie's personal assistant. If Show wins, he gets his job and house back and Triple H's house and Stephanie has to be his maid. She's not going to have to wear one of those sexy French maid outfits though. She's going to have to dress like Aunt Jemima because Show really likes pancakes. Then D-Brine and Goodwill Hunter have to form an alliance to survive on the streets when they meet up with The Wyatt Family who have Miz on a leash.

Eh, a more apt comparison would be if the roofer was forced to use the homeowner's (unsafe) ladder, talked into fixing an area of the roof they felt was dangerous and could give way, and promised (falsely) beforehand they'd be taken care of it anything went wrong. Oh, and if the homeowner then put the footage up of the fall on Youtube. It's nothing like that. She wasn't injured due to negligence. The ring wasn't faulty, a lighting rig didn't fall on her, the floor wasn't slippery, etc. Her injuries came solely from her failure to protect herself. I believe she claimed three seperate injuries from Tara hitting her with a toolbox, the table bump, and the fat broad sitting on her. Professional wrestling is a dangerous profession and when she agreed to those spots, she assumed the risks and from there it was on her to protect herself. Yeah, it'd been nice if TNA would just pay their talent's medical bills as a show of appreciation but no one should expect it unless it was in writing and even then a pro wrestler should really have their own insurance anyway. Suing for loss of potential earnings is absolute bullshit though. You get paid for services rendered and that's it. There's no potential in the entertainment industry.

Finally got around to finishing this. Fact that the thread is still high on the page says a lot about TNA this year. Taz is horribly overpaid to work a few days a month and he's pissy that he had to work a couple of extra days to do VO for these ONO shows. If he's as bad on the remaining ONO shows then they need to redo the commentary. And there's so much filler. TNA should be ashamed of themselves for trying to get people to pay money for these. I probably already knew they were there but it was so long ago that I was surprised to see Trinity and Jillian Hall. It would've been funny if Hall sang a Brooke Hogan song but Shazam probably doesn't even know any Brooke Hogan songs. Hendrix has been nothing but a pure babyface in all her prior TNA appearances so of course she worked as a heel like she does in OVW. They billed Sojo Bolt as being from Minnesota instead of Memphis like they did in her last run. I knew she wasn't really from Memphis because she didn't know how to use brass knucks and never said she was gonna whoop a trick. Tapa's not ready for prime time. She looks nervous. Her short exchange in the battle royal with Mickie James was pretty good though. I laughed when James told Deeb that her hands were so much bigger than hers in the test of strength. Taz wasn't even around for Deeb's run in the SES. He was already in TNA. Seems like TNA used to go with over the top elimination rules for yak battle royals. The WWE Diva just touch the floor rules suck. Lousy finish too. Why's Mickie James so apolegetic? And why is the trainer picking Gail Kim up and making her walk across the ring if her ankle is hurt? At least they've got a set up for a Madison Rayne return if they even acknowledge that this show happened.

WWE's own programming consistently revolves around the wrestlers being portrayed as employees. If anyone ever got an independent contractor/employee suit to court then what WWE should really be concerned with is someone showing the judge an episode of Raw. Daffney getting money out of TNA is like if a roofer fell off his ladder and successfully sued the homeowner for damages. Independent contractor, assumed risk, SOL. TNA not being able to crush things in court is baffling. They let Konnan extort money out of them and he violates their agreement all the time. WWE clearly interfered with their contract with Flair and they simply folded rather than fight. Is RDX Lawyer their main counsel?

Don't think Chris Von Erich was any taller when he started wrestling than the first time I remember seeing him grabbing at The Dynamic Duo when they lost their hair match. They should've smacked the shit out of him then. Ricky Gibson's career ended after a car accident. He was good. Robert was just more successful because he got more exposure with the Rock 'N Roll Express in the 80s. Wouldn't classify any of the Armstrongs as weak either. All of them were pretty good. The fake Mulkey that worked in the WWF was the weakest Mulkey Bro.

Why do I have no memory of this? Now, off to scour YouTube My guess is that Williams was probably in some sketch where he beat people up as opposed to literally sitting on the couch having an interview. This had to have been on YouTube at some point because I know I've seen it before. He was a seated guest. Other than bringing his UWF belt with him I don't recall any specifics about the interview. Pretty sure it was a short straight forward interview and not played for laughs at all.

If WWE bought TNA then the first Raw after the purchase should have Triple H and Stephanie McMahon calling the Main Event Mafia to the ring and requesting that they do what's best for business. Stephanie gives them the option of hopping aboard the 'Steph Train' or hitting the unemployment line. Magnus jumps. The others are put into a match against the Shield with their jobs on the line. Shield win when Wyatt Family interferes. Main Event Mafia is fired and is out on the streets where they become the Hobo Mafia with your Olympic hobo Dirty Kurt Angle, Stink, Sloppy Joe, and Rummage Jackson, just rummaging through the garbage like he's Sin Cara backstage at SmackDown. Stink vows revenge and finds his good friend Robocop working undercover as Hobocop. Hobocop hooks them up with his cousin Poboatcop (half man, half shrimp boat captain, all cop) and they head to the swamps to find the Wyatts. Culminates in a Triple Cage Elimination Chamber Inside Of A Hell In A Cell With A Six Sides Of Steel On Top Tower Of Doom match between Triple H's Best For Business Gang versus the Hobo Alliance of the Hobo Mafia and Daniel Bryan's Hobo Army.

Your mom works at Hooters? Cool.

Meltzer's a rube. The yak match probably wasn't even 4 minutes long without intros and Eva Marie was maybe in it for half and Fox was probably in there against her as much as the other two. It was just Total Divas fodder and they'll just edit what they need out of it. Really, just seemed like any typical Divas tag match on Raw. And Cena's just back so WWE can cure more cancer than they did last year.

Just looking at him, Ahmed Johnson being injury prone is pretty baffling. He took so many precautionary measures against injury. Wore way more kneepads than he had knees.

Thinking about it a little, they probably should of held off on debuting Hart until after Starrcade. Hogan loses the World Title to Sting, next night Savage says he's got a guy who's going to bring the power back to the NWO, the real WWF Champion, Bret Hart. That furthers dissension within the NWO between Hogan and Savage and I'm pretty sure they had started the NWO split after Starrcade anyway. Hart comes in, says he came to WCW for real competition not to join the NWO, first program with Savage, then a tag with Sting vs. Hogan/Savage, and then start the build towards a match to determine the "Real World Champion" with Sting vs. Hart. So yeah, there were certainly better ways to debut him than whatever they did (that awful birthday party segment where he gave Hogan a dismembered Hulk Hogan head?), but I still think he was just a broken man when he got there. More specifically, WCW's old stomping grounds of Atlanta. Of course they further watered the angle down by turning all of WCW heel and adding ECW. Looking at it in a vacumn, there was nothing wrong with that match. People talk about it like Bagwell just sat on a chinlock for ten minutes. The crowd just didn't care and you can't really blame them, they bought a ticket to Raw and got a WCW main event between two guys that the WWF hadn't built up at all. Different audiences.

Don't think I've seen Black Ref #1 lately. Must be out tripping on that Shroom Tech+.

Bad News Barrett is a bit for the JBL & Cole Show. The one I saw had Josh Mathews telling Kaitlyn he was thinking of doing some male modeling but Bad News Barrett interrupted and gave him the bad news that Mathews could never be a male model because his face was too weird. Speaking of male models, I think they should put Tyler Breeze and Justin Gabriel together as a heel tag team. And I don't know why you guys are putting Sheamus in a tag team. His promos are lame but that's the price to pay to be a top WWE babyface and he was over with the WWE Universe.

Haven't been impressed with what I've seen of Agents Of SHIELD. They could've at least tossed in a real SHIELD character in the cast. Coulson doesn't cut it. It's basically just some cheap looking generic action show left over from the syndication era. Finally saw Iron Man 3. Loved it. Second best Marvel movie behind Iron Man 1. Screw Josh Wheedon. Shane Black for everything. Only problem I had was the lack of even a mention of SHIELD, not because I missed them but 1) The Mandarin seems like he'd be their problem to take care of 2) They wouldn't fucking go away in Iron Man 2