In Your House

[DJ Hero Morganti]

The best part about Vince vs Stephanie is that she got married the next day

[DreamBroken]

I always loved the feud video before Test/Steiner Unforgiven 03, really made it feel like a much bigger deal and even though the matches were nothing special, I enjoyed how long they got out of that feud. Test was at his heel best around that time.

[Yo-Yo's Roomie]

Yeah, Test was surprisingly entertaining here.

[Yo-Yo's Roomie]

WWE Armageddon 2003.

 

I think this was the day Saddam Hussein got captured or something, because there's lots of patriotic stuff here, including Lillian doing the anthem and a standing ovation for the military. Also the final ppv of 2003.

 

Booker T Vs Mark Henry: Wow, Henry looks great here. Like, the best shape of his career. He looks good in the match too. Very basic stuff from him, but it all looks effective. Pretty decent opener. Booker seems to have cooled off quite a bit since the beginning of the year, but is still over. He wins with the ax kick.

 

Rob van Dam Vs Randy Orton: Foley comes out to do something that ends with Stacy coming out in a cheerleader's outfit and dancing around. I wasn't really paying attention. Then Orton comes out and suddenly Foley is refereeing this match for RVD's IC title. Orton is still really boring on offence here. Very generic all round actually. Cocky young guy with a good look, nothing really to separate him from say, a Mark Jindrak, who appears later on this show. Anyway, they work a pretty long match, and RVD is willing to bump around a lot for Orton (and Flair at ringside bumps for Foley). Flair's distraction allows Orton to hit the RKO and win his first championship, which he puts over pretty well.

 

Chris Jericho and Christian Vs Trish Status and Lita: I enjoyed this storyline a lot at the time. Thought it was pretty well developed. This is a good match too. Jericho is good at playing conflicted, Christian is good as the jerk, and the women both play fiery underdog pretty well. A couple of nice nearfalls for the ladies, before Christian gets a cheap win. Good work from all involved.

 

Shawn Michaels Vs Batista: Batista looks so young here. They're really putting him over huge, and Shawn pretty much lets him dominate the match. Which doesn't make for a very compelling watch, because Batista just isn't very interesting yet (although he does have some charisma). Shawn hit a sneaky Sweet Chin Music to get the win, but this is played up as a bit of a fluke.

 

Maven Vs Matt Hardy: I guess this was just added to the card on Heat. It's just an angle basically anyway, because Batista still hasn't left the ring yet. Maven and Hardy start the fight in the aisle, before Matt throws Maven into the ring to be destroyed by Batista. Matt then covers Maven and counts the three before announcing himself the winner. This was a well-done angle.

 

Tag team turmoil: We start with Dupree and Conway Vs Rosey and the Hurricane. Short match with Hurricane getting the pin. Jindrak and Garrison Cade come out of the crowd behind Rosey and Hurricane and roll up Hurricane to eliminate them. Nice heel tactic. Next come Val Venis and Lance Storm. Boring chants for Storm- that gimmick really helped him get over. Decent little segment here that the fans really didn't give a shit about. Cade and Jindrak win again. Next come the champs, the Dudley Boyz. Dudleys win but cop a beatdown, which leads to Test and Scott Steiner as the last team. The Dudleys survive, but Bischoff comes out and announces one more team- Flair and Batista. Evolution squash the Dudleys to become tag champs. Tag team turmoil is pretty much a waste of time. Most of the teams are just jobbers that have no chance of actually winning, and they run through the eliminations too fast for them to mean anything anyway.

 

Molly Holly Vs Ivory: Another bonus match, for Molly's Women's title. Ivory was still around at this point, and wrestling? Classic piss break stuff. They try hard, but it isn't good.

 

Goldberg Vs Triple H Vs Kane: I imagine Goldberg and Kane could have had a decent big man match, but Triple H just had to get his belt back. So fucking depressing at the time. Pretty dire match to boot, with JR even dropping the 'bowling shoe ugly' comment at it. Long period where Goldberg is out of the picture, so we have a world title match without the world champ involved. That's the nature of a triple threat, I suppose, but it stood out here as I doubt anyone wanted to see Hunter and Kane go at it. Then a terrible three-way punch exchange to get over how physically exhausting the match has been. Evolution run in, but Goldberg fights them off. Kane chokeslams Goldberg, but Batista pulls him out the ring so Hunter can get the pin, and the show ends with Evolution celebrating. I didn't watch this show at the time, but remember being really fucking pissed off when I put Raw on and it started with these guys coming out with all the belts.

 

Match of the night: The battle of the sexes, which gets 3 stars.

Show rating: Much better show from the Raw side, although it gets worse as it goes on, and has a huge downer ending. Still, the first 3 matches are decent, and I liked the Matt Hardy/Maven angle, so 2.5 stars.

[Yo-Yo's Roomie]

Top 3+ star matches through 2003:

 

Jericho: 20

Austin: 19

Taker: 17

Edge: 16

Christian: 15

Rock: 13

Triple H: 13

Foley: 12

Waltman: 12

Bret: 11

Benoit: 11

[cwoy2j]

 

Kane chokeslams Goldberg, but Batista pulls him out the ring so Hunter can get the pin, and the show ends with Evolution celebrating. I didn't watch this show at the time, but remember being really fucking pissed off when I put Raw on and it started with these guys coming out with all the belts.

 

I remember being so underwhelmed when Goldberg basically got pinned from one chokeslam. We'd seen him take Sweet Chin Musics, Pedigrees and sledgehammer shots and not get pinned but one chokeslam was enough. Pretty lame.

[twiztor]

WWE Armageddon 2003.

 

i have literally NO recollection of this event at all.

i may not have watched it, but i was still following Raw every week, and i don't even remember any of these angles. well, except Triple H pinning Goldberg.

oh, and the Jericho/Christian/Women angle, because it was aces.

[DreamBroken]

 

 

Kane chokeslams Goldberg, but Batista pulls him out the ring so Hunter can get the pin, and the show ends with Evolution celebrating. I didn't watch this show at the time, but remember being really fucking pissed off when I put Raw on and it started with these guys coming out with all the belts.

 

I remember being so underwhelmed when Goldberg basically got pinned from one chokeslam. We'd seen him take Sweet Chin Musics, Pedigrees and sledgehammer shots and not get pinned but one chokeslam was enough. Pretty lame.

 

 

I was shocked by that as I didn't think there was any way Goldberg dropped the title that soon at the time. And as mentioned what he had taken before, basically shrugging off the Sledgehammer at Unforgiven so a bit jarring to see that ending. But I was a huge Evolution mark so I absolutely loved this PPV.

 

[ArtVanderlay]

These reviews remind me of how much I came to loathe Savio Vega back in the 1990s, and I still do.  So dull, and Vince insistence on constantly pushing him instead of using him as a curtain jerker jobber, or better yet, future endeavoring him in 1996/97 continues to baffle me.

 

It was pretty obvious from the very start at King of the Ring 95 that he wasn't going to get over and be a "transcendant" Hispanic star like Pedro Morales had been 20 years earlier.

 

Also, they always referred to him as "The Caribbean Legend" and hardly ever mentioned he was from Puerto Rico, as if the Haitian, Cuban, and Dominican wrestling fans in America would think that Savio was actually from their country and they'd go to the arena to cheer him on

 

And because no one had Youtube back then, no one had seen WWC clips and knew of his past as TNT or why, exactly, he was a "legend."

 

Hey, who wants to see Savio Vega cleanly pin the guy who used to be Stunning Steve Austin?

[Jiji]

Yeah, but the strap match kicked ass though. He had good babyface fire and worked punches. That's more than we can say for a lot of guys, particularly around that time period.

[MoeCristyV.1.6]

WWE Vengeance 2003.

The World's Greatest Tag Team Vs Rey Mysterio and Billy Kidman: Good, fast-paced match highlighted by two nice spots; first, Kidman's shooting star from the top rope to the outside, and secondly Mysterio's assisted top rope hurricanrana, where he gets a lift from Kidman but just seems to float up to the top rope. I feel like Haas was actually the better of he and Benjamin based off this rewatch so far. More aggressive, his shit looks snugger. WGTT retain the tag titles. Compare this to the tag division on Raw and it's night and day.

... tag title match 3.25 stars.

 

 

You mad, bro!

 

That was one of the best WWF/E tag matches in recent history.

 

Four stars easy, that ending was perfect!

[Overly Critical Man]

Savio Vega fuckin ruled.

[GuerrillaMonsoon]

SPIN KICKS FOR EVERYONE

[sydneybrown]

These reviews remind me of how much I came to loathe Savio Vega back in the 1990s, and I still do.

 

Yeah, you're on the wrong board.

 

Savio Vega could be the mystery partner for Ambrose and Reigns and this place would erupt in epic celebration. 

[Yo-Yo's Roomie]

WWE No Way Out 2004.

 

Rikishi and Scotty Too Hotty Vs The Basham Brothers and Shaniqua: This is for Scotty and Kish's tag belts. I thought they were an odd choice for tag champs at the time. They were still pretty over, but had really settled into a role as enhancement talent by this point, and seemed a step down from the Smackdown 6/World's Greatest Tag Team types who had been champs before them. I guess the Bashams are pretty much done in this incarnation now, as they lose this definitively.

 

Jamie Noble Vs Nidia: Noble is blindfolded, as this is the culmination of the angle where Tajiri blinded Nidia with the black mist. This ain't Jake/Martel, but it's pretty fun for 5 mins. Nidia plays her role well, and Jamie is great as always. Such a sleazebag, cheating to win the match and then holding the dragon sleeper on that bit longer after the bell.

 

The World's Greatest Tag Team Vs The APA: Pretty meaningless filler match. Both these teams were about done anyway. WGTT win.

 

Hardcore Holly Vs Rhyno: More filler. This show is pretty rough so far. This one just came about after a match between the two on the previous Smackdown. Solid stuff from both, but the crowd doesn't really care. Holly is still riding the wave of his flirtation with the main event, and goes over here.

 

Business picks up as Goldberg makes his way to a seat in the front row. Heyman comes out to try to talk Goldberg out of doing anything stupid, but Brock comes out and calls Goldberg a bitch. Goldberg gets in the ring and ends up giving Brock a jackhammer. The crowd was really hot for this. Good angle. The only downside was Cole heeling on Goldberg on commentary. I know they were pushing brand loyalty at the time, but it didn't make much sense for Cole to be defending Heyman and Brock.

 

Rey Mysterio Vs Chavo Guerrero: This is for Rey's cruiserweight title. Jorge Paez (some boxer with a stupid haircut) is out with Rey to counter Chavo Sr. He ends up getting ejected for knocking Chavo Sr out. This felt like a big deal, due to the placement on the card and the time they got. They worked a good match, with Chavo winning with help from pops. I feel like this could have been better, but I can't quite put my finger on what it was lacking. Maybe just that Chavo is kinda bland. Still, this was good.

 

Kurt Angle Vs John Cena Vs The Big Show: Winner to face the world champ at WrestleMania. This was a bad match, and really lacked any kind of creativity or cool spots (though Cena FUing Show is always cool and popped the crowd). Angle really looks the only halfway competent guy in this though. I was really expecting Cena to win at the time, as it seemed like his time to ascend to the mains was now (his time is now, you might say). In hindsight, it's good they waited the extra year before making him a true main eventer, as he clearly wasn't ready yet. So Angle taps out Cena to win.

 

Brock Lesnar Vs Eddie Guerrero: So, here's the big one. I was looking forward to revisiting this one. Seen people call it the best match in WWE history. I think that's getting carried away, but it is an exceptional match. I like that the Brock/Goldberg interaction early, which ended with Goldberg 'being arrested' kinda made it less obvious that Goldberg would interfere in the match. Smart move. Lesnar wasn't as creative with his cut-offs as I would hope, and the match is kinda lacking a layer of nasty violence that would have really put it over the top. Eddie is pretty great though. Cool how he got the crowd to pop big for an STF, which I don't think he was using as a signature move at the time, just by introducing it as a painful sub earlier in the match. Almost made the WWE crowd into a Japanese crowd. Shitty ref bump, but leading to an electric finish and feel-good moment. My friend had Eddie as his fantasy team captain at the time though, so I was well miffed about all this (I had Benoit so was super-smug after the rumble, only to see Eddie beat Benoit to a world title).

 

Match of the night: The main event stands head and shoulders above everything else on the card. 4.5 stars. Chavo/Rey is good for 3 and a quarter.

 

Show rating: This is really a one-match show, and it's kinda glaring how much filler is on this. It seems that the Smackdown roster was pretty depleted at this point- no Benoit, no Tajiri, no Matt Hardy, no Stephanie McMahon; all the good workers. I guess this was the bad side of the draft split, although in theory they should have more time to build up meaningful undercard feuds and characters. Still have to consider it a success for the main event though. 3 stars.

[twiztor]

i know you're only watching the "B" shows so will be skipping WrestleMania XX, so i feel this is the proper time to interject this.

 

WMXX has the most emotional ending to a prowrestling show that i have ever, or will ever, see. for years, it would fill me with pride and happiness to watch it. two of my all time favorites, each holding a world title, when both of them were quote-unquote too small for that honor. Just such an incredible moment that they were able to share with the entire world.

 

now, years later, it just fills me with an overwhelming sadness.

i'm not one of those that can't watch Benoit matches, that never really bothered me. sometimes it felt odd, especially during the Benoit-Sullivan feud, but otherwise i can enjoy it for what it is. But i think that because this was such a high point, it gets dragged to such a low moment and spoils the entire pride feeling.

Likewise, Eddie's passing is such a tragic moment, especially after he turned around his life, that even post-Benoit, i could still see this moment as a symbol for the future. After he died, seeing these two best friends as the respective best in the world just crushes everything. i well up in tears just giving it my attention.

 

at least WMXX had Christian vs Jericho.

[Yo-Yo's Roomie]

WWE Backlash 2004.

 

Shelton Benjamin Vs Ric Flair: This is shit. I was fully aboard the Benjamin is a great wrestler train back then, but so far he's really shown me nothing outside of a couple of athletic spots. Flair is really only worthwhile when he's bleeding at this point, and he looks like he has no business being in a ring here. Shitty flying clothesline is a fitting finish for this one.

 

Jonathan Coachman Vs Tajiri: I could see Coach becoming a bit of a guilty pleasure if he was restricted to a manager's role with the occasional match. Him as authority figure was too much though. He gets way too much of the match here, a la Cole Vs King at WrestleMania. Garrison Cade run in to help Coach steal the win. I ended up liking Cade in his team with Murdoch, but he looks like the most generic dude ever here.

 

Chris Jericho Vs Christian and Trish Stratus: I think the Jericho/Christian match at WrestleMania 20 is a hidden gem, but this one just doesn't click. I think it veers too sharply back and forth between athletic contest and angle. That step-up enziguri Jericho was using was a shit finisher. Not bad, but I was hoping for more.

 

Victoria Vs Lita: This is quite pathetic. Features some of the slowest chain wrestling sequences I've ever seen. Victoria retains the title, and then Molly and Gail Kim attack both girls.

 

Randy Orton Vs Mick Foley: Okay, here we go. Here's one match that held up well. This features an excellent Foley performance as the crazy old guy schooling the young punk on what hardcore is all about, and Orton takes his licks like a champ. The bump Orton takes into the thumbtacks off the failed RKO is kingsized. This even has a good 'off-the-stage' bump, that doesn't look like they're just rolling around on crash mats. Foley pushing the refs away to drop the elbow on Orton is great stuff. Teasing the fire, only to have Bischoff come out and put the kibosh on it seemed a bit needless, as why put heat on a guy who isn't even in the match. Finish was a bit suspect too with the RKO onto the barbed wire baseball bat, but otherwise this was a great brutal brawl. Maybe Orton's finest match.

 

The Hurricane and Rosey Vs La Resistance: Decent work from these teams in a tough spot. We get a Eugene cameo- I already expressed my feelings about that character. Good guys win.

 

Edge Vs Kane: This felt like a shitty filler match at the time, and it still comes off that way. This is Edge's comeback from injury, but doesn't feel like a big deal at all. Not a very good match either. Edge uses his hand cast behind the ref's back to assist in the win.

 

Chris Benoit Vs Shawn Michaels Vs Triple H: Hard to watch, seeing Benoit's family in the front row. Lots of unfortunate King comments about Benoit being a 'choker' too. "Ask his wife- she's seen him choke before". King as a heel in general was really obnoxious. I wonder why they had him heeling again at this point. This wasn't a good match, which is unfortunate as I liked the WrestleMania match a fair bit. Like in that match, the Benoit/Hunter segments are the best of the match, and you wish Michaels hadn't been involved in this rivalry. But nothing really clicks, nothing really stands out. Shawn takes a ridiculous bump through a table which just looks like he dives through the table for no particular reason. The Montreal references seemed needless too, with Earl coming out after a ref bump. The finish makes me think this was kind of a sorry Canada thing, but it took away from what the match really should have been (Benoit proving he deserves to be champ) for me. And that finish was pure HBK, with him scratching and clawing in the sharpshooter while Hunter tries in vain to drag himself back into the ring to make the save. Such drama! I've seen people call this better than the WrestleMania match, but I can't for the life of me think why.

 

Match of the night: I think you can probably guess. I'd call Foley/Orton about 4 and a quarter stars.

 

Show rating: Thoroughly underwhelming show, and if it weren't for the hardcore match it would probably be a contender for worst of the year. That and a couple of other decent bits make this about 2.5 stars.

[MonteCarl]

I still rate that Orton/Foley match as one of my fav and most surprising matches of all time.

[cwoy2j]

I still cringe whenever I see that shot of Orton trying to sit up and having roughly 8 billion thumbtacks stuck in his back. Orton might've been a gigantic douchebag and asshole in real life back then but you can't deny his toughness and willingness to do whatever it took to get over.

[Josh Mann]

You wanted Eddie in a grudge match? Here comes one.

If only JBL was more sure-footed in his new style at this point. Although this match is a lost classic regardless, goofy finish or not.

Edit: After further review, classic might be a stretch, but it's pretty damn good. AND SO MUCH BLOOD. ALL THE BLOOD.

[Yo-Yo's Roomie]

WWE Judgment Day 2004.

 

Rob van Dam and Rey Mysterio Vs The Dudley Boyz: The Dudleys are definitely more tolerable as heels. Match gets over with the crowd, which is what you want from an opener. Rey busts out the assisted top rope hurricanrana again, which is always a cool spot. Nothing special, but decent, as the faces go over.

 

Torrie Wilson Vs Dawn Marie: Kurt Angle is out in a wheelchair with Luther Reigns, and is announced as Mr. Angle. Ugh, serious heel authority figure Angle is probably the worst Angle. He blames Torrie Wilson for him being in a wheelchair (I guess Big Show thought Torrie was laughing at him, so he chokeslammed Kurt off a balcony- I remember this angle and it was pretty stupid) and says if she loses this match she'll be fired. No mention from Tazz or Cole about the fact that Dawn used to be Torrie's mother-in-law- they are just fighting because JEALOUSY. Bad match, Torrie wins. Best part of it is Dawn's wardrobe malfunction.

 

Mordecai Vs Scotty Too Hotty: I was excited for the Mordecai character, and didn't think he was so bad that it warranted being scrapped so suddenly. Maybe I'm wrong though. He looked okay here in a 3 minute squash.

 

Charlie Haas and Rico Vs Hardcore Holly and Billy Gunn: I quite liked the Haas/Rico team, although I'm not really a fan of exotico gimmicks. With a bit more subtlety and sensitivity this could have been quite interesting though, and it's a nice wrinkle how Holly and Gunn would rather be in the ring with the legit collegiate wrestler than the effete. I think Rico may have got hurt not long after this, so it didn't really get to develop much anyway.

 

Jacqueline Vs Chavo Guerrero: Jacqui is the cruiserweight champ, and Chavo must wrestle with one arm tied behind his back. This little angle seemed to come out of nowhere, and wasn't really built to very well, so didn't have the impact it could have had. Chavo, of course, cheats to win back the title.

 

John Cena Vs Rene Dupree: US title match. I was kinda expecting the worst here, but this isn't bad at all. Cena seemed to be a bit more organic a performer back then, although definitely still prone to goofiness. Dupree has quite a bit of intensity. Good showing from both guys here. I wonder if Dupree could have gone any further, being as he was only 20 at this time. Shit, that means he's still only 31/32 now.

 

The Undertaker Vs Booker T: I liked Booker's character here. It seemed quite realistic that a guy would get an ego from being a star on Raw, and would see being on Smackdown as a step down. Taker just seems old and slow here. I really didn't like the Dead Man/MMA hybrid. Booker performs well, and this ends up being another decent match.

 

Eddie Guerrero Vs JBL: Lots of heat on this match. If people remember this match for one thing, I'm sure it's the ridiculous juice job Eddie pulls. Man, JBL doesn't hold back with the chair shot either. I don't know if this is a great match, but it's a great performance from Eddie. JBL is pretty dull and resthold-heavy when on offence, although he has his moments, like his always great-looking powerbomb, and some of his facials. If he could have brought more in the offence department, this would be the classic alluded to by Josh. It really steps up a notch once the blood starts flowing though, and Eddie doing the shimmy with his facial features just drowned out by red gave me goosebumps. An all-time great 'firing up' performance. The DQ was a let down, but I think the fans got their money's worth with the post match.

 

MOTN: of course the main event. 3.75 stars.

Show rating: This seems very much like a placeholder ppv, very light on star power in the middle of the card, and not much in the way of excitement, even though nothing is really terrible either. I'd probably call it 2.5 stars.

[cwoy2j]

Funnily enough, I just watched this ppv last week for background noise while working out.

 

 

Mordecai Vs Scotty Too Hotty: I was excited for the Mordecai character, and didn't think he was so bad that it warranted being scrapped so suddenly. Maybe I'm wrong though. He looked okay here in a 3 minute squash.

 

Bob Holly is a pretty big fan of Kevin Fertig aka Mordecai. Said he was a much better worker than he got a chance to show. He also said that Fertig tried to do everything he could to get the Mordecai gimmick over including wearing all white no matter where he went.

 

 

Eddie Guerrero Vs JBL: Lots of heat on this match. If people remember this match for one thing, I'm sure it's the ridiculous juice job Eddie pulls. Man, JBL doesn't hold back with the chair shot either. I don't know if this is a great match, but it's a great performance from Eddie. JBL is pretty dull and resthold-heavy when on offence, although he has his moments, like his always great-looking powerbomb, and some of his facials. If he could have brought more in the offence department, this would be the classic alluded to by Josh. It really steps up a notch once the blood starts flowing though, and Eddie doing the shimmy with his facial features just drowned out by red gave me goosebumps. An all-time great 'firing up' performance. The DQ was a let down, but I think the fans got their money's worth with the post match.

 

JBL is one of the biggest disparities in character and ring work I've seen. He was such a great heel but he was pretty broken down by the time he got his main event push. His powerbomb was pretty swank though. And he absolutely ripped Eddy's head off with that chairshot. Eddy's gory blade job makes me wonder if he was in the process of blading when JBL hit him with the chair, making the blade go deeper than intended. I mean that was a Mass Transit level blade job.

[badfish69]

I can still see that blood pouring out of his head onto the announce table and I haven't watched it since the PPV aired.

[Yo-Yo's Roomie]

WWE Bad Blood 2004.

 

La Resistance Vs Chris Benoit and Edge: La Res are tag champs. Really not much of a match, ending with Kane coming in and attacking Benoit to soften him up for their world title match later in the show.

 

Chris Jericho Vs Tyson Tomko: It's a shame Christian got injured when he did as he and Jericho had a good thing going with this feud, and Tomko is a really poor replacement. Jericho wins a pretty short match. The step-up enziguri still looks horrible. Trish looked great.

 

Randy Orton Vs Shelton Benjamin: Orton cut one of those 'walking to the ring from the back' promos before the match, which wasn't very good at all. The match was mostly forgettable, in that I've forgotten everything about it. I really felt Benjamin should have been the one to end Orton's IC title reign, as that seemed to be what they were building towards, and it would have been a nice boost for Benjamin. Having Edge be the guy seemed a bit of a waste.

 

Victoria Vs Lita Vs Trish Stratus Vs Gail Kim: For Victoria's women's title. Another short match, which sees Trish stealing the win by rolling up Lita. Trish had a good act, so putting the title on her made sense.

 

Eugene Vs Jonathan Coachman: I've spoke a bit about the Eugene character before, and why I wasn't a fan of it, but I will say that Nick Dinsmore was pretty good in the role. It had to be a bit crushing for him to get told this was the character he was going to play, but he committed to it, and made it work. Pretty decent at the comedy stuff, and had a good fired up comeback. The match pretty much sucked because Coach is no worker (early on he literally nearly knocks himself out just by running the ropes). Eugene was more over than I remember (and I remember him being really over). Best part of this was Regal coming out to celebrate with Eugene, and the two of them doing a cute 'got your nose' bit. Regal was great in his role her also. Two of the worst stunners you'll ever see in this match too, by the way.

 

Chris Benoit Vs Kane: I remembered this being a really good match, but apparently I was wrong as it isn't very good at all in actuality. It just seems to go nowhere for a long period. Kane sorta works on Benoit's back, then forgets about it. Benoit sorta works on Kane's arm, then moves on. Benoit sorta works on Kane's leg, but that doesn't go anywhere. Finally they get it together and the last 5 mins or so are rather good, and I really liked the finish, with Benoit not being able to make Kane give up in the crossface, so pinning him with an opportunistic roll-up instead. Weird bit in the back afterwards where they show Benoit highlights from the match and have him comment on them. This is the kind of thing I'd love them to utilise more (real sport feel!), but why would you choose a weak talker like Benoit to try this with. It just resulted in him saying that he's for real several times.

 

Shawn Michaels Vs Triple H: This is the infamous 50 minute Hell in a Cell. At the time I resented them for taking the spotlight away from Benoit. Now I just resent them for making me sit through their self-indulgent drivel. I don't even have the energy to bitch about this match. It's just  too long and self-consciously epic. I thought the kneeling punch exchange was the most annoying spot in the match (I hate that spot), but they topped it with the 'using each other to get to their feet' spot. I think what I hated most about this though (and this is neither Shawn nor Hunter's fault) was the way JR and King called it with this sort of revered awe, just to hammer home that this is a really important and history-making event we're witnessing. Doubly funny in that history has largely forgotten this match.

 

MOTN: Probably did end up being Benoit/Kane actually. Maybe 2.5 stars.

Show rating: An under the radar terrible show, with a mix of annoying and forgettable stuff. 1.5 stars.

[Yo-Yo's Roomie]

WWE The Great American Bash 2004.

 

John Cena Vs Booker T Vs Rob van Dam Vs Rene Dupree: Elimination match for the US title. Fairly standard stuff, helped by a hot crowd. RVD was first to go. he hit frog splashes on both Dupree and Booker, only for Cena to roll him up for a quick 3, which seemed kinda heelish. Fans booed the elimination, but stayed with Cena. Dupree goes next, Booker pinning him after an FU from Cena, and then Cena finishes Book off. Decent start to the show.

 

Luther Reigns Vs Charlie Haas: Angle made this match on the fly, because he's disappointed in what Haas has become, and wanted a showcase for his new protégée, Reigns. Makes me wonder why Haas was standing around in the back in his gear. This was interminable, a 7-minute squash that the fans didn't really care about.

 

Rey Mysterio Vs Chavo Guerrero: This, on the other hand, was a very good match, better, I think, than their last ppv outing. Some nice legwork from Chavo, and strong selling from Mysterio, and everything is as crisp as you'd expect from these two. They got about 20 mins, but it didn't feel that long at all, which is a compliment. Rey retains the cruiserweight belt with a Code Red.

 

Kenzo Suzuki Vs Billy Gunn: Crikey me, what's this doing on a ppv? Why is it 2004 and Gunn is still coming out to his Ass Man theme? Seemed like they were gonna push Kenzo quite hard, before realising he wasn't very good. Either way, booking him in a match like this wasn't doing him any favours.

 

Sable Vs Torrie Wilson: This is honestly one of the worst matches I've ever seen. If that sounds hyperbolic, go ahead and check it out for yourself. Just a painful 6 minutes, where they botch pretty much everything they go for, including the finish. This show is hitting the skids, big time.

 

Mordecai Vs Hardcore Holly: Seeing Mordecai and Holly brawling backstage on Smackdown (I think the one before this show) pretty much sealed to me the fact that Mordecai wasn't going to amount to anything. Any aura he might have had disappeared right there. This is another poor, heatless match which has no business being on a ppv.

 

Eddie Guerrero Vs JBL: Bullrope match for the WWE title. I don't like the goofy corner lights for this match, but otherwise this is a lot of fun once it gets going. I thought early on they were going to be stifled by the gimmick, but they ended up working it well, and got the crowd involved with counting along as they went for the turnbuckles. Eddie takes a pretty nasty bump on his side on the announce table, which didn't break, before JBL powerbombed him through it. I always wondered why they didn't do a better job of gimmick those announce tables, as it seems way more painful to bounce off it than to go through it, and that seemed to happen about half the time. Call back to Judgment Day with Eddie this time unloading with a chair shot was nice, before the obligatory finish for this kind of match, of both guys touching the pads together. Eddie is initially given the win before Kurt comes out to reverse the decision. This was quite the shocker at the time, and was a bit of a sad way for Eddie's reign to end.

 

The Undertaker Vs The Dudley Boyz: The infamous concrete crypt match. This has to be one of the worst ppv main events they've ever put on. A bad match and a terrible concept. If they just wanted a way to write Paul Bearer off tv, then surely there were way better ways of doing it than this. Although they arguably came up with a worse idea years later. This whole thing is just ridiculous, Cole and Tazz trying to seriously describe the way Bearer must be feeling to be sitting there buried in concrete, as if we're really witnessing a man getting murdered with no intervention. The finish was just confusing and anticlimactic.

 

One more thing, I feel I need to point out how terrible Michael Cole is on commentary. I always liked him during this era, but maybe that was just because it was something different to the same old JR shit I'd been listening to, and grown tired of, for years. But going back through this I realize that he was never any good.

 

Match of the night: Chavo Vs Rey, 3.5 stars. The bullrope match gets 3 stars.

 

Show rating: Were it not for those two matches, this would be a genuine contender for the worst ppv WWE ever put on. At the least, Kenzo/Gunn, Sable/Torrie, Mordecai/Holly has to be the worst 1-2-3 punch ever. If you wanted to show why split brand pay-per-views were a bad idea, this should really be exhibit A. It looked worse at the time too, probably, when you consider how deflating it was to see Eddie's feelgood title reign ended by Bradshaw of all people. 1.75 stars.