The WWE Total Divas Thread

[Bustronaut]

Everyone is sleeping on the fact that Eva Marie's real name is Natalie Nelson, with brothers Nathan and Neil!

Guess Nattie's higher on the totem pole than Eve was

[Fat Spanish Waiter]

Man that dude looks like he's made of eggs. All round and shiny and smooth. Eggs on top of eggs on top of eggs. Even has egg shaped muscles.

[Fat Spanish Waiter]

Mama Bella seems disproportionately awesome considering Nikki.

[Tromatagon]

Nobody is going to go for the obvious 100 rep snatch joke? Okay good

[Reed]

I just realized that Jojo is the Chris Brody of Total Divas.

[JonnyLaw]

Everyone is sleeping on the fact that Eva Marie's real name is Natalie Nelson, with brothers Nathan and Neil!

Guess Nattie's higher on the totem pole than Eve was

I figure Eva Marie was based in Eve Marie Torres.

[Go2Sleep]

It's the little things that make this show.

 

John Cena working a "Quite Frankly" into his promo to Nikki's friends.

 

Random shot of Fandango oiling himself up backstage, that was slightly longer than the usual flash cut filler on this show.

 

The long scene with Steph sitting there playing the progressively drunker voicemails left by Nattie and both of their facial expressions as it played out was great, though.

[BEN!]

Hey, it's that match Meltzer said was made to punish Eva Marie and I said was probably just put together so E could clip what they needed out of it to showcase her which is exactly what it was.  I liked when she questioned how her family couldn't see how in love she was.  Probably, because her emotional range consists of the one blank expression.  Her father's speaking cadence is amazing, he's like a cartoon character.  Their house is amazing too.  There's not much to the front yard but then there's a huge backyard with a pool and a big deck and a fruit basket made out of a watermelon.

 

The reactions to the panties voicemail killed me.

 

I thought Cena's arm was hurt, not his legs.  Run, fool, even as awkwardly as you do, run.  You're supposed to use your FU money to keep those meddlesome yaks out of your house and away from your girl so they can't fill her head up with marriage and baby thoughts and then you go and do the opposite.  What a maroon.

 

Nikki is by far the funniest member of the cast.  During the first episode she said how dare WWE hire someone who looks like her and now with her saying she makes all the sacrifices in the relationship.  She's hilarious.

[ebbie]

 

 

idk.. Daniel Bella doesn't quite have the ring to it as Brie Bryan? haha

 

 

I love the show. I think it is funny that most wrestling fans don't want to acknowledge that the show is way more successful than anyone could imagine.

 

 

But I think there's too many damn people trying to get some focus. The Bellas have been consistently the focus of the episodes sans a few times Nattie's whiny ass wants some attention. Noami and Cameron have had their moments. Don't know what the fuck Eva brings besides a pair of tits and JoJo has gone missing. idk. Just remain it The Bellas Shows ft John Cena, Daniel Bryan, and Josie.

[piranesi]

Natalya seems to be the Ed Helms of the show.  I'm guessing a lot of her stuff is staged, like the phone calls.  But it was a pretty fun moment.  And at least it gives her a character type beyond "snap, snap, head tilt, nuh-uh, snap!"

[TheVileOne]

I think the show is goofy as hell but anything that reinforces the awesomeness of Bryan is cool in my book ebbie.

[ebbie]

Yeah, I don't get the DB crazy the internet has for the guy, but I love him on the show. I think it is refreshing to see a couple like DB and Brie in which they are actually in love and don't need to fight all the damn time. So jealous. The show also made me wish Brie could cut promos in front of a live crowd. Her telling Nikki to fuck off with being jealous of Eva was way more empowering than the AJ pipebomb done a week later:

 

 

 

But the bias towards any diva not named AJ and/or looks like a woman is strong. idk

[Reed]

It's probably better for the show if Cena and Nikki split and he gets with another cast member. Laundry hamper-rants aside, they aren't that compelling to watch and  I don't know how many conversations we can sit through in which Cena tells Nikki he can't commit and she pouts for a while before eventually deciding to stay with him anyway. At some point it's, like, hey, you two want drastically different things. Split up, move on before things get messy. 

 

Maybe he can get with Eva (after she gets sick of the fitness-obsessed hoodie guy and dumps him) and then she brings him home to her family. thinking they'll love him..and they still mock and ridicule the shit out of him. Maybe Eva's mom can kick him out of the house after she discovers he's been divorced.

 

Of course, I realize these are real people and real-life relationships we're talking about, but if Cena is the company guy he claims to be, he should totally be willing to let E! writers dictate every aspect of his personal life.

[Fat Spanish Waiter]

Cena is a loveable dude and would probably not turn up in a fucking hoodie. I'd happily take him home to my parents, and break the news that I'm gay for Cena and that we're engaged and then get him to ask for my old man's permission.

[Fat Spanish Waiter]

My Dad would say yes, by the way, because he isn't a tit like Nelson Nelsonson was.

[LooseCannon]

Of course, I realize these are real people and real-life relationships we're talking about, but if Cena is the company guy he claims to be, he should totally be willing to let E! writers dictate every aspect of his personal life.

He's probably waiting until they turn him heel for the time to be right for him to dump Nikki.

[Big Fresh]

My Dad would say yes, by the way, because he isn't a tit like Nelson Nelsonson was.

I first read this as "Nelson Mandela" and wondered what the fuck was wrong with you.

[Fat Spanish Waiter]

 

My Dad would say yes, by the way, because he isn't a tit like Nelson Nelsonson was.

I first read this as "Nelson Mandela" and wondered what the fuck was wrong with you.

 

I just took out my contacts and squinted and I couldn't see Mandela. Shameful slandering by the right wing.

[Reed]

For the record, WWE were apparently trying for years to get E! to pick up a reality show with the Divas. They kept saying no, till WWE mentioned Nikki being with Cena, at which point they decided to give it a go.

 

So, yeah. Cena is pretty integral to the whole thing. I could easily see a situation where he splits with Nikki and they try to find some way to keep him on the show.

[Big Fresh]

I'd watch "Total Cena and his Rats".

[NintendoLogic]

I took off my glasses and squinted, and the closest I got was Nelson Mendelson.

[Fat Spanish Waiter]

I took off my glasses

NERD!

[Reed]

I'd watch "Total Cena and his Rats".

 

Cena banging every girl in sight, never calling them and treating them like complete sex objects while still being the nicest, most respectful guy  would be the best thing ever.

 

"John, will I ever see you again? John?"

 

"Look...*reads his palm*...uh, Candi. You seem like a nice girl. And you'll make some guy really happy one day. But I'm not that guy. We want different things. You want a relationship. I'm too busy for that. I can't see that changing. But I promise: I will never drive past a sleazy, rundown, two-bit stripclub without thinking of you."

[PuroresuFan]

I just love it when Alicia Fox shows up, listens to Nattie tell her about how she feels humiliated by something she did and then proceeds to crack up in Nattie's face with no remorse whatsoever.

[Reggie20x6]

I'd watch "Total Cena and his Rats".

 

There is a slam dunk Bravo show readily available, which just follows CM Punk plowing through everything that moves.

 

They could have built a whole 3-part season finale, with a 2-part reunion show, just around the Punk/AJ/Beadle scene.