twiztor Posted October 18 Posted October 18 10 hours ago, caley said: Man I was such a big Mike Awesome fan and they JAG him faster than you can believe. It was clearly a "He's a big star in ECW it'll work." without actually watching him in ECW and noting that Paul E. matched him up with guys that were smaller than him to !ale him bigger, that Paul E. had someone talk for him but also that the bulk of his offence would be unusable in WCW (iirc the one time he does his Awesome Bomb over the ropes through a table he gives Vampiro a concussion!). Also feuding him with Nash makes him look small from the get-go! 10 hours ago, zendragon said: Yhea he was Indy big for sure. Like you mentioned feeling sad about Daffney I feel the same way about Mike Awesome. All those head shots had to contribute to his suicide. And he had such a positive attitude about some of the silliness like the fat chick thriller 100% this, even if Judge Jeff Jones was dumb as fuck. Awesome in WCW (and WWF!) was as huge of a waste of talent as we've ever seen. Nowadays, someone Mike Awesome's size wouldn't even be "indy big", he would be "indy fucking enormous". 1
SirSmUgly Posted October 18 Author Posted October 18 (edited) 6 hours ago, twiztor said: i gotta ask. did Hogan actually say "P-Whipped", or did he use the full term? i can't decide which one would be "EDGIER" for the Hulk Hogan character. because 'Wood (as the brothers call him) would definitely not hesitate to say "pussy". He said P-WHIPPED. He's a little more edgy, having graduated from using the word "ass" to throwing in some GODDAMs and SONSABITCHES. But he's not that edgy. Quote are you working or shooting with that rating? oh no, now even these reviews are SHADES OF GRAY, BRO! Shooting. Again, not to set off anyone's hyperbole meter, but after eighteen months of sharply declining television from the post-BatB '98 Bischoff-and Sullivan Era to the Bischoff-and-Nash Era to the Russo-and-Ferrara Era to the Sullivan-and-Dillon Holdover Era, this was maybe the last chance that WCW had to get the right people in place to at least help Nitro climb back toward 4.0 - maybe not enough to at least make TWAOL save the show, but enough to get them to at least consider it. Instead, this New Blood/Millionaires' Club feud being the centerpiece of the shows combined with Russo going full dipshit in this second run and Bischoff being a bad on-screen personality while failing to add anything of credit on the creative side is going to snuff out that last flame of hope. It's over. And this 4/10 Nitro is the death note. Quote *Amazing data* I can live with Booker and even Shane Douglas being in the New Blood because they're (relatively) TV fresh. Curt Hennig is a baffling addition to that side of the roster, though. (Also, Sid has four world titles at this point, not that it's hard to forget that he won the WCW World Championship on a Nitro, was stripped of it the next Thunder, and won it back later that Thunder because WCW, everybody!) (Then again, who am I to correct you on the number of world titles that Sid has won considering what I'm now calling the Randy Savage World Title Count Fiasco that is frankly a little embarrassing on my part.) Quote Nowadays, someone Mike Awesome's size wouldn't even be "indy big", he would be "indy fucking enormous". There was an early episode of AEW Dynamite with a battle royal where the only thing I could think during most of the match was HOLY SHIT, Billy Gunn is fucking HUGE. Can you imagine 1999 Mike Awesome in AEW? That guy'd be a fucking megastar. If Wardlow or Jake Hager had a tenth of what Mike Awesome had, they'd actually be useful parts of TK's roster. Edited October 18 by SirSmUgly 2
Spaceman Spiff Posted October 19 Posted October 19 6 hours ago, The Comedian said: That's fucking stupid. Late Era WCW's tagline right there. 1 1
zendragon Posted October 19 Posted October 19 I saw Billy Gunn have one of the worst matches I've ever seen live and yes he his a huge man! Just wait till we get STONE COLD TERRY BOLLEA!!! 1
SirSmUgly Posted October 19 Author Posted October 19 19 minutes ago, zendragon said: I saw Billy Gunn have one of the worst matches I've ever seen live and yes he his a huge man! Just wait till we get STONE COLD TERRY BOLLEA!!! Or as Bixenspan calls him "F-U-NB Terry Bollea." 1
SirSmUgly Posted October 19 Author Posted October 19 Thunder Interlude – show number one hundred and six – 12 April 2000 "The WCW Gang works diligently to combine the most worn out and tired creative ideas of Bischoff with the worst creative ideas of Russo" The whole WCW reboot has been so sudden, so weird, such a mess, that Spring Stampede being next up on deck after this Thunder feels strange…The show got two weeks of build that was stopped dead…There was a dead week with review shows after that…Then we are getting one week of build to the show after the reboot…It’s like someone is trying to strangle the life out of this poor, beloved company…Who would want to plunk down thirty bucks for Spring Stampede with this build?... We start with a Nitro recap…The other issue with this storyline, by the way, is that it very suddenly turns a bunch of babyfaces heel (Booker, Kidman, Vampiro) and then turns a bunch of heels babyface (Package, Flair, Sid – who just turned heel again three weeks ago, mind you!)…All these turns are essentially out of nowhere…Denver had a bit of a struggle trying to figure out who to cheer for on Nitro… Bisch and Russo roll up to the show in a Porsche… Tony S. forgets that Thunder is on Wednesday and opens the show by yelling WELCOME TO THE SECOND DAY [of the Ruschoff Era]…Oops!...I should start a “We keep forgetting that this taped show airs on Wednesday" counter, but I already have too many counters running…David Arquette mugs the camera from his spot in the crowd… Bischoff, Russo, and a few members of the New Blood open the show in the ring…Bischoff forgets that Thunder is aired on Wednesday and crows about how much fun he had on Nitro "last night"...Adding another counter gets ever more tempting…Billy Kidman tries to heel on the mic, but he sucks at it…”Get out your scorecard, you marks, because it’s Flea Market Champion 3, Hogan 0!”…Oh man, this guy is just not a convincing heel…Russo does some NEW YORK IS BETTER THAN THIS DUMP heeling…He asks who is supposed to live in Colorado Springs, “John Denver?”…Then, when informed by Shane Douglas that John Denver is dead, he yells into the mic HE’S DEAD? WHAT, SO AM I SUPPOSED TO CARE?!... I mean, if you wondered how this segment was going, I think the previous sentences in which I related some of the heel commentary to you should give you an idea…Look, BRO, I don’t want to hear Bischoff or Russo cutting promos…This is going to be a long three months…This edgelord promises to make Ric Flair his NEW YORK BITCH…Just in case you were still wondering how this segment was going…Douglas says he’s going to retire Flair…Bischoff hypes all the new champs that will be crowned at Spring Stampede and insinuates that he’ll be putting his thumb on the scale…Bisch and Russo have given Jeff Jarrett and DDP the night off to prep for their title bout at the PPV…Then, he books Kimberly against Madusa…The crowd shots mostly show baffled fans…David Arquette claps for the segment, though… It's been eleven minutes and still no wrestling to be seen…DDP walks onto the top of the ramp…He’s wearing a shirt that says WHATEVER…He’s going to try and get that catchphrase over next, but it’s probably not going to sell many t-shirts…DDP is happy to beef with Bischoff, but would appreciate it if Bisch left Kim alone…Page proposes Bischoff versus Page tonight, and he brings back SLEAZY-E as an insult like it’s 1997 all over again…Bisch is basically like KIM’S A WHORE, AND ALSO I DECLINE YOUR CHALLENGE…Page walks to the ring to fight Bisch when the Jersey Triad EXPLODES AGAIN FOR THE FIFTEENTH TIME as Bam Bam jumps him before he can do anything…Kanyon would have made more sense in this spot if we needed a Triad member to jump Page on behalf of the New Blood…A bunch of Millionaire Club members run down, control the ring for a bit, and then end up once again in a brawl as the New Blood regroups and comes back into the fight… The commentary desk is geeked about another talk-heavy opening, but I’d just like a wrestling match, please…A good one that goes six or eight minutes, too… The other title matches at Spring Stampede: A “Suicide Six Man,” whatever that means…They don’t explain the rules particularly well…Those six men, whomever they are, will have a trios tag against one another later tonight…Their names are not given at this point… And hey, for the second time this year and the third time in two years, it’s ANOTHER tag title tournament for the vacant tag titles!...It’s a one-night tournament involving four teams…The Mamalukes, Harlem Heat Incorporated, Buff Bagwell and Shane Douglas (?!) and Team Package…Ric Flair versus Buff Bagwell and The Total Package vs. Shane Douglas will happen on Thunder and give a little preview of that second PPV matchup…I get that they’re feuding Douglas with Flair, but Booker and Kidman have been tagging together recently and would be a more logical choice for the New Blood’s entry into that tournament…And as much as I hate to say it, the useless Harris Bros. were the tag champs and should probably be booked in the match...It should be the Harris Bros., Booker and Kidman [Editor's note: They can go back to being feuding partners again!], and then the last two teams are fine, I guess... There’s a one-night U.S. Championship tournament at Spring Stampede, and Sting and Sid can qualify their way into it with wins in their matches tonight…They’re also going to figure out how to get two men as contenders for the Hardcore Championship, but Tony S. is like, Yo, we should probably show a wrestling match now since we’re seventeen minutes in and doesn’t take more time to explain how that’s going to happen…WCW is like an e-fed run by a guy who just got a new girlfriend and has understandably prioritized spending time with her over finishing up the next batch of shows heading into the e-PPV…They just make shit up that doesn’t make sense, but hope that you don’t notice it and start asking questions about the logic… And I swear that specific scenarios actually hasn’t happened to me, though my character did lose the world title in my e-fed once because I ended up in a new relationship in which some part of my life had to give, and the girlfriend, school, and work won out (in that order) over cutting promos so good that WCW could have hired me to write them for half its roster at a low price and at least gotten a better show out of it…Bonus: The money I brought in as a sixteen-year-old on the Turner payroll would have impressed the heck out of the then-GF!... Chris Candido walks to the ring for the cruiserweight trios tag…The other team got the jobber entrance…Shannon Moore, Crowbar (w/David Flair and Daffney), and Lash LeRoux are the first team…Chris Candido, Juventud Guerrera (in his in-ring return to WCW) and TAFKAPI (w/Paisley) are the second team…GODDAMMIT, Chavo Jr. gets screwed AGAIN…He was lining up to get a title shot on PPV!...They were obviously going to run a Four Corners Match between TAFKAPI, Mike Modest, Chavo Jr., and Chris Candido…What the fuck, man…I cannot fucking believe that WCW is somehow trolling me here in 2024 by booking Chavo like garbage in 2000…Maybe I need to start a Here’s the Latest Twist in Chavo Jr.’s Criminally Bad Booking segment… Highlights: Well, someone tosses a beach ball into the ring…Dave does a Running Man to try and impress Paisley, and Daffney drags him away with the crowbar by hooking it on his dick…Finally, the camera focuses on the match for a while…What I learn is that Crowbar and Juvi would be an interesting feud…Dopey Dave tries to toss Crowbar back into the ring after Juvi knocks him out there, and Crowbar punches Dave…Everyone dives onto everyone else outside the ring…Helms runs out and gets involved….The finish is a giant clusterfuck that ends up with Daffney hitting a Super Latino Frankensteiner on Helms and then Candido trying to steal a pin from Juvi…What a mess…Even commentary is missing some of these match beats…TAFKAPI pulls his team member Candido off a pinfall attempt…He stops another ref count, then “hits” Candido with a diving DDT…Crowbar puts Candido down with a Falcon Arrow for three... Well, it was six to eight minutes long!...Getting warmer, WCW!... DDP promises to beat up Jeff Jarrett at Spring Stampede, says that Kim will not be competing in a match tonight, and challenges Bam Bam Bigelow to a match on this show… Vince Russo and Eric Bischoff attend a meeting with Harlem Heat Incorporated…Bisch and Big T. mean mug one another because T. is in Bisch’s chair, which Bisch doesn’t even sit in when T. vacates the premises…Ruschoff demands that HHI put Sid out of wrestling with an injury tonight… Pre-tape: At its premiere, Sting calls Ready to Rumble a mixture of Dumb and Dumber, Wayne’s World, Beavis and Butthead… Shawn Stasiak asks the makeup lady to make him look “perfect”…She leaves for some product, and Curt Hennig busts in and jumps Stasiak…Well, at least this feud probably pushes Hennig over to the Millionaire’s Club side where he better fits… Syko Sid is on that Big Show/Giant wave…He’s a face again…Since October of 1999, he’s gone heel-face-heel-face…Sid’s in a no-DQ handicap match against Harlem Heat Incorporated…If he wins this, he’s in the U.S. Championship tournament…In that tournament already: Scott Steiner; THE WALL, BROTHER; Vampiro; Booker T.; Ernest "The Cat" Miller; and Billy Kidman…Sid clears the ring and then we get the Sid/Cash faceoff that everyone was waiting for…Seriously, though, I don’t care about this dumb shit…Give me the finish…Wait, first Big Tony and Stevie bum me out with a whiffed double front kick that Sid has to sell…They do hit a double spinebuster that’s pretty nice to make up for it…Anyway, the finish…Booker T. runs to the ring and beats down HHI, so I guess now he’s an enemy of Ruschoff…Book clears HHI out and leaves Stevie in the ring to get powerbombed by Sid for the loss…THE WALL, BROTHER immediately jumps Sid with a chair shot after the match… Ruschoff bitches about what Booker has done while sitting in their office and watching the proceedings…Bischoff promises to “fix this” and storms off…He comes to the ring with a mic and disqualifies Sid in a no-DQ match because of Booker’s interference…It does nothing to make me think that Bischoff is more of a heel than I already do…I do know how Booker ends up as G.I. Bro, though…Yeah, “Booker pisses off Ruschoff somehow” should have been more obvious to me from the jump… Jimmy Hart enters the building and asks where Eric Bischoff is… Bischoff dresses down Booker T. in the locker room for his actions… Good news: Shane Douglas is off Fraud Watch!...Bad news: It’s because said watch has been completed and he has been determined to be a FRAUD…He wrestles The Total Package (w/Liz) next…TTP starts his posing routine, but it’s a feint so that he can charge Douglas with strikes and a tearaway jersey choke…Rope burn, clothesline times two, running forearm…This all only gets two for Package…Douglas gets boots up on a corner charge and lands a clothesline and some punches of his own…Weak belly-to-belly from Douglas…He goes up and gets caught by TTP, who flings him to the mat…Douglas bails, and Package follows him and sparks an obligabrawl…Back in the ring, we get a ref bump…This brings Ric Flair down to jump on Douglas…Flair hits some punches, then forearms Douglas in the balls to bend him over for a Package Torture Rack that ends the match… We cut away immediately to Bischoff blowing off Jimmy Hart in the back…Too much Bischoff on these shows already…Bischoff ended up being a solid heel performer in WWE, but he might be a worse heel than Russo at this point… The pace of this show is more Russo-like, but I think I liked the “nutbar idiot show runner with bad ideas about what draws ratings fucks with the formatting of the show” run in Russo’s first five or six weeks back in October/November more than what’s happening on these shows now…Then again, these shows are better than the Russo shows that center around the re-formed nWo… After commentary lets us know that Russo will suspend TTP if he interferes in the Flair/Buff match later tonight, we get an in-limo shot of the Hummer ramming it from back on Monday…Tony S. sells Hogan’s injuries and then thankfully says that he’ll be working those injuries for at least two weeks (but not in the kayfabe-breaking way I described it)…No Hogan on camera is pretty sweet, but Jimmy Hart storms out here to keep the orange bald bastard centered on this programming…Hart calls out Bischoff, and Bisch arrives alongside Billy Kidman to Kidman’s music…Bisch and Kidman huddle, and Bisch hangs back as Kidman runs to the ring and beats up Jimmy Hart…We get a HOGAN chant as Kidman tags Hart…Boy, this angle is all wrong…Just a failure in its conception… Kim laces up her boots to wrestle and is annoyed when Page tries to stop her from doing her thing…Kim’s like YO, JUST SUPPORT ME and Page is like BUT YOU ARE NOT A TRAINED WRESTLER THOUGH… OK, this Colorado Collision Match, whatever the hell it is, is up next…Oh, it’s basically an Elimination Chamber Match with no chambers…The first two out wrestle, with the other four wrestlers standing in neutral corners and hopping into the match at one minute intervals…Booker T. and THE WALL, BROTHER are out first…Well, the other four wrestlers aren’t standing on the apron at each corner for this one, but I guess they will be at Spring Stampede…Booker and TW,B have an okay sixty seconds…Book lands a Book End, and axe kick, and a Spinaroonie as the clock ticks down…Book sends TW,B to the floor, but the Cat runs in and side kicks Booker outside, where TW,B chokeslams Booker through the table as both men are counted out… The Cat cuts a promo on how much the crowd sucks with his remaining time…Unfortunately, he gabs for so long that he only gets his dancing shoes on as the clock winds down…Scott Steiner walks out here and murders this goof Ernest Miller after a brief dance…I again reiterate that Steiner and Jarrett should be switching spots on this show…Jarrett should be in this match and Steiner should probably defeat DDP for the world title…The Cat actually scores a standing side kick and a Boogie Elbow (!!!) as Billy Kidman and a somber-looking Torrie Wilson walk down the ramp…Kidman decides that discretion is the better part of valor and only slides in while Steiner is celebrating a move that he hit on the Cat…Kidman covers the Cat, but is soon pinned with a belly-to-belly as Vampiro makes his way to the ring… The Cat attacks Kidman outside the ring while Sting follows Vampiro to the ring and lands a Scorpion Death Drop on him immediately…Steiner spots Sting, but decides to go ahead and lock on a Steiner Recliner for the win…I cannot express enough to you how dumb the booking for this match was…We’re casting Kidman as a cowardly heel who can’t hang with Scott Steiner in a straight up one-on-one scenario for a minute, but we expect him to get over in this role against Hulk Hogan?...Is this the wave?...Again, I might need to bust out that “criminally bad booking” notation for Kidman because his booking honestly hasn’t been all that much better than Booker’s… There used to be a surefire way to get a rising midcarder over…You have him go on a winning streak, then have him win a secondary belt…In this case, maybe the United States Championship which, in 1999, was held by the following names…DDP, Bret Hart, Scott Hall, Roddy Piper, David Flair, Sid, Goldberg…Other than David Flair, who wasn’t over enough to hold it, the other six guys had ZERO need for it at all…One of only two guys who held it and who actually needed it was Chris Benoit, and his two title reigns lasted for a total of 35 days and included one notable victory (over DDP at Road Wild ’99)…The year ended with the belt on Jeff Jarrett, which was fine, but the misuse of the secondary title to the big gold in 1999 was basically catastrophic…They had plenty of time to put together two or three reigns across the year to elevate three guys or to elevate one guy with a super-long reign…In fairness, Scott Steiner won the gold at one point and was the second guy who could have used a long U.S. title reign, but he was soon out with his back injury, so that could have been the plan with him, which changes the calculus entirely if it’s pulled off, but even so, Bret > Booker > Scott Steiner is the obvious thing to do with that belt for the first half of the year…You’d have to be completely incompetent to fuck that up… Anyway, back to this show, where Ric Flair yells about the labels on his clothes for a while in an interview with Okerlund… Kimberly Page has the power of self-belief or whatever…Let’s see if it helps her not get kicked in the face by Madusa…They get in a shoving match, but Madusa doesn’t really want to kick her ass…She just bullies her a bit…Dallas, who was watching on a monitor in the back, runs in and tosses Madusa off…She throws some kicks at DDP, who hooks her and lands a Diamond Cutter…The crowd popped huge for that one…Kimberly is displeased that her dopey husband didn’t comprehend the whole thing she said about believing in her… OK, so this is a Hardcore Triple Threat Tag Match next…The team that wins gets a one-on-one match for the Hardcore Championship at Spring Stampede…OK, four of the teams are in the ring already…Terry Funk and Norman Smiley are the last team, and they get televised entrances…The other two teams are Finlay/Knobbs and Meng/Morrus…Morrus’s shirt says HUGH! on the back…I think this is the worst wrestler shirt for a wrestler in a major company that I’ve ever seen in my life…It’s the one with all the questions on the front of it… Stupid-ass Morrus whiffs on a running Savage Elbow attempt on Smiley off the stage and through a table…He might have legit hurt himself, as he didn’t have the spring in his legs to really catch most of the table and soften the blow...Meng spears a Goldberg cut-out and gets a little empty payback on DA MAN during his backstage brawl with Knobbs...They do weapon spots near the concession stand…They fight outside, and Knobbs does a dive over a barrier that Tony S. tries to sell as a thirty-foot drop…This thing cuts between the ring and various backstage areas…Morrus runs his dick into the tusk of a giant face of the local hockey team’s mascot after Smiley dodges his charge in a different backstage area…This thing goes on forever…Finally, fucking finally, Funk hits a piledriver on Finlay into the remnants of a shattered table, but Dustin Rhodes runs in and attacks Funk with a chair…Norman Smiley makes it back to the ring and, get this – GET THIS…covers his own partner for the win in a tag match while Rhodes and Finlay are looking for extra weapons to use on Funk…I think the thing about WCW under Russo is that it makes you feel stupid for even trying to care about anything that happens…Nash has that same problem as a booker, but Russo is a walking version of that problem… Russo and Bischoff implore three of the Villanos to destroy Sting… Tony S. sends condolences to Scott Hudson, whose dad passed while Hudson was calling Nitro earlier this week…Rough...Sting rushes to the ring to beat some Villanos…He hits a double Scorpion Death Drop on two of them at the same time and pins them, but the third one knocks Sting into the ref for a – you guessed it – ref bump…The third Villano is Jeff Jarrett, and he KABONGs Sting and strips off his mask…DDP rushes the ring, hits a celebrating Jarrett with a Diamond Cutter as a receipt for the KABONGing of Kim on Nitro, and rolls Sting on top so the recovering Charles Robinson can count to three… In his interview with Okerlund, Jeff Jarrett is angry about Page jumping him and suggests that he’ll catch DDP in the ring at some point during that Bam Bam match later tonight before threatening David Arquette and promising to win the WCW World Championship at the PPV…We cut to Arquette in the crowd, and the guy seems up for the challenge… Buff Bagwell and Ric Flair are up next…Flair has taken to fighting in his street clothes…Hey, do you think that in kayfabe, Bischoff brokered a peace between Russo and Buff for all that jobbing that Russo was demanding that Buff do a few months back?...Like, do you think that if we all sat here and brainstormed, we could add some logical backstory that would help any of the past sixteen or so months’ worth of shows make narrative sense?…Or is WCW just entirely too cooked into a congealed mass to make that possible?...This match has some stuff happen until they fight outside and Russo, dressed in a Sting mask and trench coat, hits Flair with a bat…Shane Douglas runs in to assist in the beatdown of Flair…TTP races to the ring to make a save, but Buff Bagwell hits him with the rubber bat…Russo insists on hitting crotch chops…. DDP vs. BBB is the main event…I have said this before, but if you had asked me, I would have sworn that the Jersey Triad formed in 2000 and KroniK formed in 1999…I apparently got them entirely switched…I guess my faulty memory placed a Page/Kanyon team specifically in 2000…I know Page and Nash are a team toward the end, but I thought Page/Kanyon ran together (again) toward the end at some point as well…Kimberly’s back out here at ringside and everyone on commentary misses her shooting a self-gratified grin at Bigelow locking a Camel Clutch on Page…She also initially smiles when Bam Bam sits down on Page’s lower lumbar before turning it into a grimace…Then again, maybe they’re not supposed to say anything and it’s just there for us to notice so that we can anticipate a coming heel turn…Yes, I will just pretend that the commentators have been produced that way even though subtlety isn’t really Ruschoff’s style… There’s a ref bump because that’s what we do around here…Page manages a Diamond Cutter, and Bischoff runs in, counts to two, and then stops counting…Page goes after Bischoff, and Jarrett gets into the ring and KABONGs DDP…David Arquette jumps into the ring and tries to attack Jarrett…He fails miserably…Jarrett lands a Stroke on Arquette…Hey, speaking of Kanyon and pairing him with DDP, Kanyon runs in and beats down Jarrett to no pop…Kanyon desperately signals for one and finally gets a tiny one…Bischoff hits Kanyon in the head with a weak chair shot…A bunch of other New Blood members hit the ring to beat up the babyfaces and tag a couple of them…So, I guess technically the nWo is finally dead, but it basically lives on in spirit in this New Blood angle… I’m going to quote philosopher-poets the Teen Girl Squad for this grade: OWWWWWWW, MY ENTIRE LIFE!!!... 1
twiztor Posted October 19 Posted October 19 13 hours ago, SirSmUgly said: (Also, Sid has four world titles at this point, not that it's hard to forget that he won the WCW World Championship on a Nitro, was stripped of it the next Thunder, and won it back later that Thunder because WCW, everybody!) i think i just misread the wikipedia article(s). thanks for the correction, i've edited my original post! 8 hours ago, SirSmUgly said: Thunder Interlude – show number one hundred and six – 12 April 2000 Like, do you think that if we all sat here and brainstormed, we could add some logical backstory that would help any of the past sixteen or so months’ worth of shows make narrative sense?…Or is WCW just entirely too cooked into a congealed mass to make that possible? absolutely not taking that bait. i have hit my 40s and feel the mental decline sneaking in, so no way in hell am i devoting any of my remaining brainspace to deciphering whatever this show/promotion is. this entire show sounds like a mess. It reads as though it lasted 4 hours. Colorado Collision match sounds like it is the most time-compressed, by-the-numbers, "Royal Rumble" style match possible. I guarantee there's been better booked takes on this match on indy shows in front of 12 people. The finish of the cruiserweight six man is nonsensical execution at its unfinest. that hardcore tag match where one guy pins his partner is just atrocious. Look, it was funny in 1998 when the New Age Outlaws did it, but here, <2 years later, it's played out. It's a one time finish. People even refer to it as "the Outlaw rule". you can't just pretend this is fresh booking because it's in the other company, especially because there's a good chance that YOU booked that first match, Russo! AND your whole character is to point out how great you were in THAT EXACT TIME FRAME IN THAT EXACT COMPANY! i'm no Kidman fan, tho not a hater either. But him being used as a pawn by Hulk Hogan to show that "look, i tried to elevate one of the younger guys and it didn't work" is just fucking GROSS. to paraphrase another member of this board, FUCK YOU HULK HOGAN! 2
caley Posted October 19 Posted October 19 13 hours ago, SirSmUgly said: The other two teams are Finlay/Knobbs and Meng/Morrus…Morrus’s shirt says HUGH! on the back…I think this is the worst wrestler shirt for a wrestler in a major company that I’ve ever seen in my life…It’s the one with all the questions on the front of it… When my brother worked at Value Village, he found and bought himself a DDP shirt that had such a lousy font on the back that an old lady stopped him one time and said "Excuse me young man, what is Dop?" I feel like everyone would have questions about a shirt that says "HUGH!" on the back, but also that would require someone to actually buy a Hugh Morrus shirt. 13 hours ago, SirSmUgly said: OK, this Colorado Collision Match, whatever the hell it is, is up next So, just to get this straight, Russo makes fun of Colorado Springs in the opening promo, but still names a match after it? "I hate this place, bro, New Yawk is so much better..let's book a Colorado Collision match, though!" --- Have they suspended the DQs/countouts yet? I'm pretty sure I vaguely remember them mentioning it at some point early in the Bischoff/Russo era, to make things more "extreme"! But then they run into the the problem with submissions, if there are no rules couldn't a wrestler just keep his opponent in a submission hold whether he gets the ropes or not?! I actually did a double-take when I read about Kidman coming down for the US title match and getting pinned. I thought "No they're building Kidman up for Hogan, they wouldn't use him as fodder a segment or two later for Scott Steiner. Oh no I did read that right." 1
zendragon Posted October 19 Posted October 19 Positively Kanyon is still to come I believe, which leads to him teaming up with Page. Speaking of which how much has you esteem of him dropped in this rewatch? In addition to the tag match finish being reused by Russo, Remember that he did TAFKA Golddust back in WWF? 1
SirSmUgly Posted October 19 Author Posted October 19 (edited) 7 hours ago, twiztor said: absolutely not taking that bait. i have hit my 40s and feel the mental decline sneaking in, so no way in hell am i devoting any of my remaining brainspace to deciphering whatever this show/promotion is. This got a good laugh out of me. Quote this entire show sounds like a mess. It reads as though it lasted 4 hours. It was a long 85~ minutes, yes. Quote Colorado Collision match sounds like it is the most time-compressed, by-the-numbers, "Royal Rumble" style match possible. I guarantee there's been better booked takes on this match on indy shows in front of 12 people. On the one hand, Russo and Bisch coming up with the Elimination Chamber concept - sans chambers - in 2000 is pretty impressive! On the other hand, the execution was regrettable. Quote The finish of the cruiserweight six man is nonsensical execution at its unfinest. What happens is they don't focus on the match to instead focus on Daffney and Paisley and David Flair at ringside or whatever, and they go back and forth between things so that nothing really lands. The same issue happened in the hardcore tag match. Too much back and forth, so it doesn't feel like any of the fights that were going on stuck with me. Quote that hardcore tag match where one guy pins his partner is just atrocious. Look, it was funny in 1998 when the New Age Outlaws did it, but here, <2 years later, it's played out. It's a one time finish. People even refer to it as "the Outlaw rule". you can't just pretend this is fresh booking because it's in the other company, especially because there's a good chance that YOU booked that first match, Russo! AND your whole character is to point out how great you were in THAT EXACT TIME FRAME IN THAT EXACT COMPANY! It also wasn't foreshadowed as something that the teams could do! I think it was foreshadowed when they ran that finish with the Outlaws in the WWF, IIRC. Quote i'm no Kidman fan, tho not a hater either. But him being used as a pawn by Hulk Hogan to show that "look, i tried to elevate one of the younger guys and it didn't work" is just fucking GROSS. to paraphrase another member of this board, FUCK YOU HULK HOGAN! Yep. Two things can be true at once. Kidman is absolutely not a main eventer in a major wrestling company (and maybe not a big indie, for that matter), but Hogan is playing politics here. The thing about Kidman is that after he threatened to walk out along with the Radicalz, he was punished by being jerked around with his booking, so he's less over than he was in, say, August of 1999 when they could have made a legitimate upper-midcard talent out of him and botched it. 2 hours ago, caley said: Have they suspended the DQs/countouts yet? I'm pretty sure I vaguely remember them mentioning it at some point early in the Bischoff/Russo era, to make things more "extreme"! But then they run into the the problem with submissions, if there are no rules couldn't a wrestler just keep his opponent in a submission hold whether he gets the ropes or not?! They have not, but I'm looking forward to it! Quote I actually did a double-take when I read about Kidman coming down for the US title match and getting pinned. I thought "No they're building Kidman up for Hogan, they wouldn't use him as fodder a segment or two later for Scott Steiner. Oh no I did read that right." I'd say it's baffling, but this is WCW. And not just WCW, but Ruschoff-led WCW. There is no logic here. 1 hour ago, zendragon said: Positively Kanyon is still to come I believe, which leads to him teaming up with Page. There it is! I do recall this because Kanyon was running around giving flash Diamond Cutters to randos and yelling BANG!, then running off. Good times! I'm looking forward to it! (That "I'm looking forward to it!" is genuine, unlike the previous time I said it.) Quote Speaking of which how much has you esteem of him dropped in this rewatch? I might have typed this earlier, but I note that Kanyon's influence has IMO resulted in maybe the worst copycats of any '90s wrestler. Poor Kanyon doesn't deserve to have a line drawn directly from him to the Young Bucks, but alas. I think Kanyon actually is excellent at character work and is a solid comedy guy who can talk reasonably well, so it's not his fault that the YBs are an infinitely worse version of him, a copy so poor it's like someone printed out a picture of Kanyon and Xeroxed that picture, then Xeroxed the Xerox of the picture. And I'm probably being charitable in my estimation when I call the Bucks a Xerox of a Xerox of a print of Kanyon. But that's not his fault, just like it's not ECW's fault that they destroyed the idea of wild hardcore brawls by making them about hitting people with as many kitchen appliances as possible rather than taping up your fists and trying to split a dude's eyebrows until he gushes. Both Kanyon and ECW took a lane that would make them stand out and did a meritable job of presenting themselves. It's the facsimiles who don't understand why the original was so good who should be pilloried. Quote In addition to the tag match finish being reused by Russo, Remember that he did TAFKA Golddust back in WWF? Well, look, TAFKAPI is a Prince knockoff, at least! Unless you can argue that TAFKAGoldust is a Marilyn Manson expy, in which case, Russo has even fewer ideas than I thought. Edited October 19 by SirSmUgly 2
SirSmUgly Posted October 20 Author Posted October 20 Spring Stampede 2000 notes: As I scrolled through the Peacock page for Spring Stampede, I briefly thought about watching Spring Stampede ’94 again instead of this show, but it’s not really in the spirit of these reviews. Hype video: We get a video of Vince Russo kicking the shit out of Ric Flair with a bat and Eric Bischoff beefing with Hulk Hogan to start (and also Kidman is in some of these highlights, sorta), which tells you something about who the real stars of the show are. The New Blood is just a vehicle for Russo and Bischoff to put themselves over on television. Also, Hogan did in fact yell I’M GONNA EAT HIS ASSHOLE about Bischoff; they put that audio in this opening for reasons that I cannot ascertain. We cut to Bischoff’s office, where he paces around, all upset that Hulk Hogan checked himself out of the hospital and is ostensibly on his way to this show. I’m upset too, but for entirely different reasons. Kidman is relaxed about it, though. He wants to run Hogan down with the Hummer again if Hogan shows up. Hype video: We get a series of shots of the action in the past six days leading up to this show. I remain un-hyped, and in fact am anti-hyped, but let’s watch this sucker anyway. As I’ve mentioned before, I think that I vaguely remember the “Kimberly Page heel turn” thing that they teased on Thunder out of nowhere. I don’t think I’ve seen this whole show before, but I do think that I’ve seen that aspect of it. Tony S., Scott Hudson, and Mark Madden are our bummer of a commentary team for tonight. Ah, caley’s recent post about relaxing DQ rules was perfectly timed: Tony S. says that Ruschoff have ordered the refs to relax their trigger fingers and not DQ or count out wrestlers so quickly. We open with the Mamalukes (w/Disco Inferno) facing Team Package (w/Liz) in a first-round match in the tag title tournament. Flair yells about it being STREET FIGHT RULES in his pre-match interview with Okerlund, so, uh, I guess it’s a street fight? Both teams enter the ring, but before they can lock up, megastar ratings draw Vince Russo steps out onto the ramp, says that Luger has a teeny peeny, and that because the Mamalukes have less experience in DA BIZ than Team Package, he’s sending the fucking Harris Bros. out here to help the Mamalukes. The Harris Bros. have new t-shirts with their team name in an ugly font on the front and the words I SURVIVED THE H-BOMB in front of a mushroom cloud on the back. Who the fuck would even wear that?! *sigh*, so here’s the finish: After the Mamalukes and the Harris Bros. put literal weeks of feuding behind them to tag together out of nowhere, the match breaks down after a TTP hot tag. Disco hits Package; Liz hits Disco. A couple of Italian-American dudes come out of nowhere and drag Disco away. The Harrises and Mamalukes remember that they hate each other and fight one another. Package racks the Bull for the win after a miscommunication between Johnny and Vito. It's going to be a loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong show. Mike Awesome has been entered into the U.S. Championship tournament; he cuts a corny promo against his first-round opponent the Cat. Bam Bam cuts in and calls Awesome a “jabroni,” and of course, it ends up in a beat down of Bammer after Awesome back-jumps him. Pre-tape: Jimmy Hart and Mancow are feuding, and I hate talk radio, shock jock radio, AM radio, and everyone involved in that world. Jimmy Hart, who has been a concerned babyface on WCW television the past few weeks, heels it up as he comes to the ring with Emery Hale as backup. He calls Mancow a “Howard Stern wannabe” over the house mic; then, he cackles. Mancow comes down with a whole entourage. I blame Morton Downey Jr.’s sorry ass for all of this bullshit that his bullshit wrought, including Mancow. Mancow grabs the mic and is a total asshole. Fuck off, WCW. Mancow wins it with a chair shot after a ref bump. The Chicago crowd loved this, which makes me think badly of Chicago. Billy Kidman comes to the ring after the match and kicks the shit out of babyface Jimmy Hart, who is a heel in Chicago, but who is the babyface in this instance. We get a tiny Hogan chant, but surely, you see the issue with trying to get heat on Kidman for beating down Hart immediately after a match in which Hart was the fucking heel. Russo calls the four men who lost the opening tag match A BUNCHA LOSERS backstage. THE WALL, BROTHER comes to the ring, and the production truck plays Mancow’s annoying theme over the top of TW,B’s theme for a few seconds. TW,B's first-round opponent for the United States Championship is Scott Steiner. They open with a strike exchange until Steiner lands a low blow and a belly-to-belly suplex. TW,B blocks a German Suplex, hits a low blow of his own and lands a big boot and a legdrop for two. The Wall grabs Steiner in a standing two-handed choke and dumps him, but takes too much time to celebrate and walks into a Steiner Hot Shot. This leads to an obligabrawl; TW,B gets the best of it and sets up a table outside the ring, but that allows Steiner time to recover and attack. Matters progress, and Steiner gouges TW,B’s eyes and puts the ref in the way of TW,B’s goozle; TW,B puts the ref through the table, and the second ref runs in and immediately DQs TW,B. That might be the weakest finish I’ve seen in WCW in a long time – and this is WCW we’re talking about, the land of weak finishes. Shouldn’t Steiner have been DQ’d for physically putting the ref in the way of TW,B’s goozle? Why was this a bridge too far for the refs? If you need to protect TW,B and Steiner both, why book them against one another in a first-round match? I mean, this is just a baffling finish in every way. The Cat yells about James Brown and Mike Awesome in his interview with Okerlund; Bam Bam Bigelow jumps the Cat during the interview. Our next first-round matchup for the U.S. Championship is in fact Mike Awesome versus the Cat. Awesome enters to the Revolution theme for some reason. I guess that’s now the theme of all the ex-ECW guys? Who knows. Bam Bam runs to the ring and attacks Awesome before Awesome can even get in the ring. Mickey Jay is just like WELP, THIS IS THE MATCH NOW and the bell rings. Chicago starts a weak ECW chant. They spend a large chunk of the match outside the ring. Awesome is an enjoyable worker, so even as washed as Bammer is, this is fine. Back in the ring, Awesome hits a diving clothesline from the top for two as Madden actually lands a nice line: “Awesome is doing it cruiserweight style with heavyweight power!” Huh. Awesome’s offense and that Madden line almost had me thinking that this might be a wrestling show that could aspire to being at least average. Anyway, Bigelow regains control, but the Cat runs in, hits a standing side kick on Bigelow, and grabs a mic. He says he’s going to dance in the middle of this match. Ah, I’ve been brought back to reality; this show is definitely not going to be at least average and is absolutely an early 2000 WCW PPV in terms of quality. Awesome hits the Cat as he dances and lands a top-rope splash on him for three. Bischoff freaks out about Hulk Hogan potentially arriving at the arena. Russo and Kidman are still unworried. Buff Bagwell and Shane Douglas interview with Gene Okerlund in the back. They are convinced that they’re going to beat Harlem Heat Incorporated. And here comes Harlem Heat Incorporated (w/Cash and J. Biggs) to wrestle that tag title tournament match against Buff Bagwell and Shane Douglas. Ah, Shane Douglas got new music, so Mike Awesome was given his old music. That explains that. Anyway, this match isn’t good, but it doesn’t completely stink. It’s short, which is its best quality. Big Tony is slowly getting into better shape, I think. The hot tag happens maybe two minutes in; Douglas gets the tag, but falls to the numbers game inside the ring while Cash beats down Buff outside the ring. Douglas fights back and hits a weak Pittsburgh Plunge on Stevie that Tony S. calls attention to by saying that he “let [the move] go” and then continuing on by saying that Douglas showed his versatility by deciding mid-move to win the match with a simple vertical suplex instead of the Plunge. AWFUL. You could see that Douglas had a hard time hoisting Stevie up there, so just ignore it and call the fucking move instead of calling attention to Douglas not being able to hit it tightly because Stevie was too heavy for him. Fucking hell, Schiavone is goddam awful sometimes. He gets a lot of guff when the show around him is really the problem, but all too often, he makes an atrocious call like that one. Anyway, Russo is back in charge, so Stevie and Big Tony get in each other’s faces and beef after the match. Booker T. interviews with Gene Okerlund before his match against Sting. Booker notes that he’s all for more opportunity, but that’s about all he has in common with the rest of the New Blood, and he’s never particularly gotten along with Bischoff anyway. Sting goes up against Booker T. next in the U.S. Championship tournament. Both men shove each other before locking up. Book wins a shoulderblock; Sting wins an arm drag when Booker runs again. Book clubs Sting down and shoots him in, but Sting ducks Book’s forearm and lands a series of clotheslines, the last one spilling Booker outside so the men can have an obligabrawl. Sting actually reverses a whip and Booker crashes into a camera; what’s noticeable is a loud CLANK that actually made it seem like it might have hurt. Anyway, Booker eventually regains control and wins the obligabrawl before taking things back to the ring. Book manages a couple of two counts sandwiched around a chinlock, then scores another two on a kneedrop before going back to the chinlock. Bo-ring. Booker isn’t fun working in a heel (or heelish) role yet. He got there in WWE, but now, he’s really only good as a babyface in singles. Part of the problem is also that Booker is working a tweener-ish gimmick right now, so he can’t indulge in the sort of heel nonsense that he might as he would if he were, say, King Booker or Main Event Mafia Booker T. Book hits an axe kick for two; he lands a flapjack and a SPINAROONIE, SPINAROONIE, SPINAROONIE, but he whiffs on a Houston Side Kick and gets DDT’d for 2.7. Sting lines up a Stinger Splash and hits it, but Booker Houston Side Kicks him in the abdomen when he tries again. Book shoots Sting in, but again gets hit with a crossbody for two. Booker finagles a vertical suplex attempt, but Sting hops out of it and hooks Booker for a Stinger Death Drop that gets three. Booker is upset after the match and confronts Sting, but then he daps Sting up. Good finishing run, but the part between the obligabrawl and the finishing run wasn’t quite good enough to get it onto a good list. Still, that was actually pretty enjoyable overall. Maybe, I don’t know, let your good wrestlers wrestle one another without any bullshit gaga to a clean finish more often, Ruschoff? Okerlund questions Bischoff, Kidman, and Torrie about the rumor that Hogan might be showing up tonight. Bisch continues to still be worried, and Kidman continues to still exude confidence. Vampiro wrestles Billy Kidman (w/Torrie Wilson) in the final first-round matchup for the United States Championship tournament. Kidman charges Vampiro, but Vampiro steps aside and lands a series of strikes. Now would be a good time for the folks on commentary to remind everyone of their competitive mini-feud from earlier in the year as a way to build some history and bragging rights' stakes into the matchup. Vamp hits a belly-to-belly suplex and a diving clothesline from the top for two. He shoots Kidman in, which allows Kidman to manage a rana and a dropkick. He tries ten punches in the corner, but Vamp tosses Kidman across the ring. Vamp lands a back suplex, then tries a powerbomb. One counter-facebuster later, Kidman rains blows on Vampiro and backs him into the corner before slamming him and landing a slingshot legdrop for two. Vamp uses a thumb to the eye to regain control momentarily, but Kidman lands a forearm when Vamp ducks down after shooting him in, and Kidman gets two on a side slam. Kidman chokes Vampiro in the corner, then attempts a vertical suplex that gets blocked and then reversed. Vamp drills a uranage for two – Tony S. calls it a chokeslam – and then signals for the Nail in the Coffin. However, he tries another powerbomb instead and gets countered into a facebuster again. Kidman gets two on the counter, then initiates yet another obligabrawl. This obligabrawl is short, and it includes my least favorite transition in all of pro wrestling. Vamp gets two after a series of kicks and decides to try an armbar; he transitions out of that, but Kidman manages a DDT and then pins for two. Hulk Hogan rolls up in a sweet Dodge Charger, and he’s wearing the black and white, Hollywood style, so you know he's serious. Hogan marches out onto the ramp, which distracts Kidman, but Kidman is able to back kick Vampiro in the nuts when Vamp tries to take advantage. Hogan rushes the ring, walks through some Kidman boots and forearms, and beats down Kidman. Hogan tosses the steps at Kidman, who moves, but Hogan gets on top of the stairs and chokebombs Kidman across the broadcast table. The table stands steadfast, so Hogan slams Kidman through it. He tosses Kidman back in the ring and allows Vampiro an easy three count. After the match, Hogan gets a mic and cusses a lot to show how edgy he is. In between cusses, he tells Bischoff that he’s coming after him. In the back, Bischoff is all aggy, but Russo says that he’ll take care of Hogan. Bischoff freaks out about Russo leaving him alone. Hogan charges around backstage and yells threats. One such threat: I’M GONNA FIND THAT SONOVABITCH BISCHOFF AND TIE HIM BEHIND MY CAR AND DRAG HIM AROUND CHICAGO UNTIL HE SMELLS AS BAD AS RODMAN. So, that’s how this is going. Hogan finally finds the office and kicks the door in, then chokes Bischoff for a bit before Russo brings a bunch of cops in to arrest Hogan. In what is an AMAZING spot, one cop draws a gun on Hogan, which makes Hogan finally beg off a bit. I see Hogan found out what that crusading edgy babyface Stone Cold Steve Austin was doing to get over on the other channel and wanted to try some of that for himself. Man, I can’t wait until Hogan is gone from this company. Three more months. Ninety more days. Three more PPVs. Hogan was a great shithead bully ‘80s babyface and fit the time and era perfectly, but he was more bad than good for huge chunks of his career. Terry Taylor tells Terry Funk that Norman Smiley is in catering instead of preparing for his Hardcore Championship bout, which I believe is next. Bischoff hyperventilates about Hogan while cops frog march the Hulkster out of there in the background. Actually, as it turns out, Norman maybe ate some bad salmon and is hiding in the bathroom; Funk finds him there and attacks. So, uh, here’s our Hardcore Championship bout. Hardcore Championship bout stuff happens. They fight around the backstage area and into the kitchen. This goes on longer than it needs to. They finally fight out onto the stage. Funk takes like a million chairs to the head. Smiley takes a couple as well. The finish is that Dustin Rhodes interferes, hits Funk with a piledriver onto a chair, and then can’t quite pull off the timing on an awkward spot where he dives off the ropes with a chair and into Funk's boots, then stumbles into the ladder, thus seesawing it into Norman's face. Funk gets up and dumps the ladder from his spot in the ring onto Smiley on the floor, which had to hurt like hell, and pins him for three and the Hardcore Championship. We almost immediately cut away from Funk’s celebration so that Tony S. can show everyone the WCW mousepad that they can get if they send their cable bill with their purchase of Spring Stampede to Turner. Russo tells Booker that only GIRLS make friends with one another like Booker did with Sting. Then, he tells Booker to follow him and make up for being a GIRL, all friendly and a good loser and over-emotional bullshit like that. Mike Awesome’s semifinal match in the U.S. Championship tournament is against Scott Steiner. It is very strange that Scotty is coming down to his fucking WCW Slam Jam theme from when he was part of the Steiner Brothers. Get this man his fucking siren-focused theme. Steiner immediately mauls Awesome, locks on a crossface, and throws elbows from top position. Clothesline, elbowdrop, pushups. Awesome, who was tossed outside the ring before the pushups, gets on the apron and shakes off some clubbering to land a slingshot shoulderblock and then a big splash for two. He goes up and lands a diving clothesline, again for two. Steiner throws a back kick that tortures Awesome’s testicles, then hits a belly-to-belly. Steiner clubbers away at Awesome in the corner, but when he shoots Awesome into the other corner, Awesome leaps on the ropes and comes off with a back elbow. An Awesome legdrop gets two more, and the crowd goes nuts as Kevin Nash rushes the ring and hits Awesome with a crutch as Awesome perches on the top rope. Steiner takes the gift and locks on a Steiner Recliner that takes a bit more time than it does for Steiner's usual opponents to get Awesome to submit. Russo, with Booker T. and a rubber baseball bat for backup, fires Dustin Rhodes for accidentally helping Terry Funk win that Hardcore Championship match. Russo and Rhodes then argue over who is responsible for the success of the Goldust gimmick. What can I say about Russo’s idea of “compelling television” that hasn’t already been said? Vampiro and Sting wrestle in the other semifinal match for the United States Championship tournament. Vampiro rushes Sting before Sting can even get his jacket off. Vamp throws a bunch of blows, but the Stinger eventually no-sells them and makes a comeback. We get an obligabrawl again. Can a ref bump be far behind? Back in the ring, Sting preps a top-rope splash and hits it for two. The match goes back outside, where Sting misses a Stinger Splash with Vampiro draped against the guardrail that misses entirely. Vampiro uses a chair to assist his offensive flurry and puts Sting down with a standing side kick. Vamp dumps Sting back in the ring and goes up…and just jumps down because he and Sting aren’t clearly communicating. So, I was going to mention before this that I don’t think these two have much chemistry at all. That bodes poorly for the next two months of Sting/Vampiro feuding. Vampiro hits a back suplex for two, then goes up—no, he comes back in the ring and throws kicks instead. This match is turgid. OK, for a third time, Vampiro goes up and actually leaps off into what is a blown counter powerbomb, I think. Ick. Sting quickly lands a Scorpion Death Drop and locks on a Scorpion Deathlock for the win. That was a bad match. Diamond Dallas Page is with Kim for an interview with Gene Okerlund. Page promises to help Kim get some revenge on Jarrett later tonight. This Cruiserweight Six-Man Match for the Cruiserweight Championship is next. Two Count is out here because Karagias is hurt, I guess. Anyway, everyone else in this match rushes the ring before Two Count can dance. A lot of stuff happens, but the match settles down into Crowbar versus Candido. So, this is a match where only two guys are legal, but anyone can make a save, but also there are no tags, and randomly, wrestlers replace one another. What the fuck are the rules of this match, even? None of it makes sense. I don’t get why everyone just doesn’t do what they want and jump in the ring. For example, Juvi hits Lash with a Juvi Driver, and TAFKAPI just runs in and replaces the downed Lash. You know what, if WCW doesn’t give a fuck, neither do it. Here’s the finish: After Daffney gets over with the Chicago crowd by hitting a diving Frankensteiner and then screaming right in Juvi’s face a couple times because Daffney is so fun and totally rules, the match as it is breaks down. Everyone dives onto everyone else. Ooh, cool, never seen that before! David Flair runs out here and brawls with random cruisers on the outside. Tammy Sytch interferes and helps Candido defeat TAFKAPI for the title. Paisley and Tammy go at it after the match and have a catfight. That fucking moron Madden exclaims SNOOCHIE BOOCHIES and Tammy claws Shannon Moore in the balls when he tries to intercede. Tony S. threatens me with more of this nonsense pro wrestling dumpster fire bullshit by telling me that Slamboree is coming up next in about three weeks, so contact my local cable provider! Jeff Jarrett threatens to smack Okerlund’s liver spots off his face in his interview tonight as he also did on Thunder, actually, followed with a bunch of threats toward DDP’s person. He also calls Okerlund a “Geritol slapass.” Team Package (w/Liz) is wrestling, let’s see, I can’t even remember who the fuck won the other match in this tournament tonight. OK, scroll up, scroll up, and it’s Buff Bagwell and Shane Douglas (w/Vince Russo, as it turns out) who are their opponents. Oh, wonderful, Russo joins commentary. I love it, thanks. TTP and Buff trade control back and forth to open. Buff dances, turns around to see Package posing, and begs off while TTP does a shitty version of Buff’s dance. Douglas tags in and hits TTP with some buckle bonks. Package eventually comes back and hits a press slam that dumps Douglas near Flair; Flair yanks Douglas to the floor and beats him up for a bit, then tosses Douglas back in the ring and I guess is the legal man even though he didn’t tag. Douglas jabs Flair in the eye with his thumb and tags out. Buff controls Flair as Tony S. lets loose a BULLSHIT on commentary because everyone is so fucking edgy all the time, you know? Flair is FIP as Buff and Douglas ping pong him around. They are very dull in control. Tony S. is a fucking moron and points out that Flair is too unathletic to even flip over the ropes and to the apron as Flair crashes and burns on that particular signature spot. Douglas ends up repeating the spot again, but not before yelling FUCK YOU, FLAIR into the camera as he throws a few punches before he repeats it. Everything about that series of spots in this match is pretty much what sucks about WCW in a nutshell. Embarrassing. Anyway, TTP gets a hot tag that no one in the crowd seems to care about. The match breaks down. Russo leaves his spot at the desk. Buff accidentally hits Douglas with a Blockbuster, so Russo yanks the ref out of the ring before he can count to three. Russo and ref Nick Patrick shove one another as YESSSSSS IT'S KRONIK! They rush the ring and hit a Meltdown on TTP as Russo attacks Patrick, strips him of his ref’s shirt, puts it around his neck, and counts three when Buff covers Package. No one in Chicago cared, but KroniK rules. Let’s get them right into the APA copycat version of their gimmick as quickly as possible. Scott Steiner displays quite a bit of confidence that he’ll be beating Sting in his interview with Gene Okerlund. Sting declares war on Ruschoff and promises to make Steiner his next casualty in his interview with Gene Okerlund. Sting and Scott Steiner square off in the finals of the United States Championship tournament as the Main Event Mafia PRE-EXPLODES. See what happens when Steiner wins a few world titles? He switches sides *snaps fingers* like THAT. Steiner opens the match by shoving Sting into the corner and clubbing him to the mat. He unwisely picks up the pace by shooting Sting into the ropes, though, and Sting dropkicks him and sends him bailing to the floor. Sting follows with a slingshot crossbody, then rolls Steiner back in the ring and dives from the top rope into Steiner’s raised knees. Steiner presses Sting and then yells SHUT UP, BITCH at someone in the crowd. Clothesline, elbowdrop, two count, ‘roid rage on Billy Silverman for the cadence of his count: Steiner is in control. Steiner lands an overhead suplex, then leaves the ring to mean mug some front row fans. Back in the ring, Steiner picks up Sting and perches him up top, then tries a belly-to-belly superplex that Sting blocks with a headbutt and a fist. Sting hits a clothesline, then a second. He shoves Steiner into the corner and hits a Stinger Splash, and then, oh look, the ref gets sandwiched between Sting and Steiner on the second one. Sting hits a third one, but when he lines up for a fourth one, Vampiro pops up out of the canvas and drags Sting to hell, just like in the Sam Raimi movie Drag Me to Hell. Vamp drags Sting up from under the ring after a few seconds; Sting has bitten down on a blood pack and is out. Steiner revives Silverman and then locks on a Steiner Recliner; Sting loses via being too passed out to submit. Here’s a running theme of tonight’s show: With so many decent workers on this thing, the wrestling is actually pretty solid from moment to moment, but every finish has sucked outside of Booker/Sting. Add to that the awful mic work, terrible finishes, and confusing and inconsistent match types, and Spring Stampede has not served the hard work of the wrestlers in the squared circle very well at all! (Though you have your workers who stink on this thing, too – your Bagwells, your Douglases, your old-ass Flairs and Lugers, etc. Don’t get me wrong. The wrestling hasn’t been all great! But the guys who can go have been solid in isolation.) Hype video: This hastily-assembled Jarrett/DDP feud brings six whole days of anger and rage to a head TONIGHT! They try to give this thing a big fight feel by showing Jeff Jarrett and Diamond Dallas Page (w/Kimberly) making the walk from their respective dressing rooms backstage and into the ring. Needless to say, it feels unearned. Page opens with punches as the bell rings; he runs over Jarrett with a shoulderblock and hits a discus clothesline, then kills a Jarrett duck under with an inverted atomic drop and blocks a Jarrett hip toss with a DDT for two. Jarrett bails, and Page slingshots himself over the top and into a crossbody, then holds Jarrett up so that Kim can slap him before dumping Jarrett into the crowd for a wandering brawl. I’m bummed about this wandering brawl, as the hot start was very good, and I’d prefer that this show stay in the ring rather than end up with guys swinging trash cans in the crowd on a wide shot. You know? Call me crazy, but I just want to see some good wrestling in the ring. Well, this bout is officially off the rails. They obligabrawl for a few minutes and eventually make it back to ringside. Jarrett yanks Kim in front of him as he backs away and uses her as a decoy to get a strike in, but Page takes back over and ends up trading pinfall attempts with Jarrett in the ring. Page gets up from the last of those attempts and hits a lariat, but Jarrett crotches Page when the latter goes to the top. Jarrett soon goes outside and grabs a chair. Charles Robinson tries to take it away, but fails, and it ends up smashed over DDP’s back a couple of times before Robinson can get in there and yank it away. Jarrett’s heel control segment is whatever, unfortunately. He targets DDP’s back with mostly mediocre offense since DDP had a shoot back injury that he's returning from. Page does kill an Irish whip with a back elbow. Both men are down, and when they get to their feet, Page wins a punch-up. Jarrett shoots Page in and ducks down, but Page stops short and lands a powerbomb for two. This match needs a megastar to put it over the top, so Bischoff walks out here to view what ends up being yet another obligabrawl. Jarrett rips up a copy of Positively Page as part of this deal; shortly after, he yanks DDP’s crotch in to the post. He tries again, but Kimberly yanks him away, and when he goes back to complete the move, Page yanks Jarrett forward into the post. Jarrett is quickly back on top in the ring, but he celebrates on a boot choke and allows Page the time to come back and deliver a revenge post-crotching of his own. Shortly after, there’s a ref bump; Jarrett grabs the big gold from ringside and waffles DDP with it, but only gets about 2.8. Bischoff moves closer to the ring. Jarrett locks on a Figure Four. Kimberly grabs Jarrett’s guitar, and we miss Bischoff distracting the ref, though Tony S. at least is nice enough to note it for us, as he notes everything that happens (even at times when maybe he shouldn’t). They have a long struggle over this Figure Four. Finally, Page gets to the ropes, so Jarrett unhooks the move, drags Page into the center of the ring, and tries to apply it again. He gets small packaged for two, then schoolboyed for two when he gets in Robinson’s face. Jarrett tries to double sledge Page from the second rope, but jumps right into a uranage for two. Jarrett tries a sleeper hold next. Page fights up from it and gets one of his own locked on, which gets countered. Bischoff gets on the apron and grabs the ref; Kimberly gets on the apron as Page hits a Diamond Cutter on Jarrett. Kimberly asks to get in the ring and KABONG Jarrett, but of course, DDP is betrayed by his marital partner! She KABONGs him for not giving her the emotional support she needs! Jarrett hits a Stroke and wins the title! And this is where the famous GIF with Bischoff looking into the camera with a shit-eating grin on his face and mouthing WOW comes from! I figured that last one was from his time in WWE. Kim and Bischoff share a sensual hug because Bischoff is the man who fucks all the hottest ladies as the New Blood's other champs come down to celebrate. Shit, I’m ready to cancel WCW after the last half-year of television. I’d rather watch all of 1990 and 1991 in WCW than ever sit through post-BatB ’98 through BatB ’00 again. Some things, like Pinky and the Brain and Freakazoid, got screwed by the network when Kellner took charge. And some things were just fucking ASKING to get axed, like WCW’s programming. Anyway, the back-to-back of Uncensored and Spring Stampede in 2000 is some all-time brutal stuff. Why in hell would anyone buy a WCW PPV at this point? Just awful stuff, both shows at the bottom of the barrel for WCW. And fuck y’all at WCW for having Spring Stampede go out on a show like that! 2
SirSmUgly Posted October 20 Author Posted October 20 7 hours ago, zendragon said: How has your opinion on DDP moved during this rewatch? I think he's an even better worker and an even worse talker than I thought before this watch. 1
SirSmUgly Posted October 21 Author Posted October 21 Show #236 – 17 April 2000 “The one that doesn't quite get its major feuds right, but with a little tweaking, we coulda had a stew going" Before we NITROOOOOOOO, an update: WCW World Heavyweight Championship title change count: 8 (Hitman > VACANT > Benoit > VACANT > Sid > Nash > Sid > VACANT > Jarrett) WCW United States Championship title change count: 4 (Jarrett > VACANT > Jarrett > VACANT > Scott Steiner) WCW World Tag Team Championship title change count: 5 (VACANT > David Flair and Crowbar > The Mamalukes > The Harris Bros. > VACANT > Buff Bagwell and Shane Douglas)… WCW World Cruiserweight Championship title change count: 5 (Madusa > Oklahoma > VACANT > TAFKAPI > VACANT > Candido)… VACANT might be the most dominant and decorated wrestler of all time in WCW. (I wrote the word VACANT so much that it began to look like a nonsense word that I made up at one point.) OK, now we can NITROOOOOOOOOOO. Stills: Spring Stampede stunk real bad, but a) a cursory look at what people were saying on the internet at the time indicates that quite a few people enjoyed this show and b) it was also the penultimate WCW PPV to do 100K+ buys, so it seems like it was marginally creatively successful. Somehow. I presume that after Sullivan/Dillon/etc. running this show further into the ground (The Varsity Club versus Masa Chono and Super J, really?!), people who wanted WCW to succeed at the time were desperate for anything that might have seemed like it could have potential. However, the show was yet another lowest of the low for WCW as far as I’m concerned. A bunch of security mooks seal off all the entrances in the arena. A celebratory atmosphere pervades the arena tonight. Confetti and balloons fall from the ceiling, and a showtune plays as riot cops lead Vince Russo and the majority of the New Blood’s titleholders to the ring. The showtune is a clear dub, by the way. I think WWE didn’t want to spring the money for “New York, New York,” which I believe that I faintly hear playing under the dubbed showtune. Russo crows about his success and declares that he’s Straight Edge New Blood, and that means he’s better than you. Russo celebrates the Spring Stampede successes of Candido, Bagwell, Douglas, and Scott Steiner. He declares that the New Blood is going to capture Terry Funk’s hardcore title next because the Funker is too old. Russo also complains about Jim Ross and yells JR, YOU CAN KISS MY ASS before introducing the guy that Russo says Ross held down, Jeff Jarrett. Jeff Jarrett hits the ring and spikes a metaphorical football in a mediocre promo and also informs Jim Ross that he’s got an ass that Ross can pucker up to. Jarrett craps on DDP; Jarrett is still upset about not being in Ready to Rumble, then challenges Page to a three-tiered cage match of the type that is used in the film itself. David Arquette is soon to be crowned, baby! On a list of silly things that WCW did, that might not even rate top ten for me, honestly. Russo next introduces Eric Bischoff as I long for the days of the hot cruiserweight opener back in 1996. Bischoff and Kimberly walk the aisle; Bischoff shares his glee about ruining DDP’s life. Kimberly also shares her glee about ruining DDP’s life. Basically, she’s mad that Page hasn’t supported her enough in her endeavors. You left that man for Ed Leslie at one point in kayfabe, lady. I think the relationship was just a mess, and you were both to blame. Anyway, Kimberly says that she was the true star of their duo and she’s going to start acting like it! DDP rolls up to the arena and is told by the security mooks that he’s not allowed entrance. Page beats up the mooks and stomps through the backstage area. He passes production, and I think one of them exclaims, HEY, IT’S PAGE, which explains logically why his music plays as he comes through the curtains and attacks the New Blood in the ring. He is helped by the riot cops, who are actually TTP, Sting, and Ric Flair in disgusise. Hey, one of them must have been paying attention to Kanyon’s antics in 1998 during the Raven/Saturn feud and stored that strategy away for future use [Editor's note: Or maybe Kanyon suggested it directly to his buddy DDP, considering what happens later in this show]. That’s what I’m telling myself in kayfabe. Bischoff shits on some other New Blood fellas, including Bam Bam Bigelow for some reason, over not coming out there to save them. Bisch trains said shitting on Booker, who shits right back on Bischoff for elevating his chosen champions over the rest of the NB. The wrestlers leave as Bischoff asks Russo to find Mike Awesome and get him to kick the shit out of DDP. The security mooks that DDP beat up walk in and tell Bisch that they’re quitting as they aren’t getting paid enough to take asswhoopings from main eventers. Hogan calls Bischoff on the phone and says that he’ll be around in a few minutes to beat the hell out of Bischoff, then hangs up as Bischoff hits a facepalm. Our first match starts 24 minutes in and involves Shawn Stasiak, so that’s how this show is going. “The Perfect One,” as he is calling himself, faces Mr. Perfect, or “Curt Hennig,” as he is calling himself. I am staggered that Hennig is still wrestling regularly in WCW as of April 2000. Ms. Hancock walks out while the men in the ring hook it up and Madden says SNOOCHIE BOOCHIES, if you were still wondering how this show is going. Hancock takes notes on this incredibly boring bout and has apparently ditched Los Fabulosos after a couple of weeks. There’s a zero of an obligabrawl after Hennig bails and stalls for a bit, but I get a kick out of Hennig picking up a water bottle and emptying it on Madden before hitting Stasiak with it. Madden was not in on that childish, but ultimately harmless rib before it happened as far as I can tell from the look on his face. There’s a ref bump because WCW, everybody! Hennig hits a Perfect Plex, but there’s no ref, and Hennig breaks it. Stasiak loads his fist, knocks out Hennig, and lands an ugly TKO Perfect Plant for the win. Some cops halt this goof Hulk Hogan before he can get into the building. He’s dressed in a bandana, an ostentatious cross, a black vest, some fingerless gloves, and black pants. WHOA, BAD ASS, DUDE. He figured out that a certain Stone Cold Steve Austin got mega-over while dressing in all black and attempted to mimic him to very stupid results. Someone yells HOGAN, YOU SUCK from off-camera as the cops back down from the Hulkster and let him in the building. Stasiak has been punching Hennig in the face after the match this whole time, so Hogan walks to the ring and ejects Stasiak from it with extreme prejudice. The crowd chants for HO-GAN. Good to see this angle is getting young up-and-comer Hulk Hogan over as a beast! We missed Hogan posing for the crowd during the break, thankfully. We come back to Hogan cutting a promo in which he says that most of the fans on the internet think he rules, but there are a few measly critics who think Hogan is getting older. Hogan’s like, So is everyone else! We all experience time in the same way! Entropy comes for us all! Hogan then claims that he’s only lost half a step, not a whole step like everyone else says. This worked shoot promo is ass cheeks. Hogan tells anyone in the back who wants to take his spot to get out here and fight him for it, but then says that he will survive the wonky booking of Ruschoff, no matter how poorly they book him. So is someone fighting you for your spot for real or like, no, you are admitting that this is all worked? Hogan shoot complains that Kidman was reluctant to come back to work in January – I’m honestly surprised that the WWF didn’t take him when he looked at possibly getting out of his contract – and then tells Kidman to come to the ring and fight him. On the TurnerTron, Kidman stands in the back wearing a tagged Hulkster shirt and telling Hogan that he doesn’t do what Hogan asks and tells Hogan to come see him out back. We see that Bischoff is standing just back and to the right of Kidman, waiting tensely for Hogan to show up. Hogan runs off toward the back as we get another commercial break. After the break, we see Hogan yelling and cussing as he tries to find Kidman in the parking lot. Jeff Jarrett cuts a promo with Okerlund in which he says that he’ll offer an open contract for a title shot to any New Blood member that signs it. Then he calls Okerlund JURASSIC SLAPASS and the crowd laughs. I don’t know about these Illinois crowds, man. They seem to love all the guys whom I can’t stand – your Hogans, your Punks – and they got hot for a fucking Mancow/Jimmy Hart match. They also love Jarrett’s catchphrase, which is a bottom five catchphrase of all-time, and I will argue that this is objectively true, dammit! It’s science or mathematics, I’m sure of it, there’s an equation to prove it! THE WALL, BROTHER wrestles Terry Funk for the WCW Hardcore Championship as the desk gets over that Hulk Hogan is now openly calling himself Terry Bollea, and I will be calling him FUNB Terry Bollea because Bixenspan’s insistence on calling him that whenever he's talking about 2000 WCW always gets a hearty laugh out of me. Anyway, this match stinks. TW,B is nowhere near in position to catch Funk as he moonsaults off the top to the floor. Get this bum THE WALL, BROTHER the fuck off my television, please. He is complete ass. Anyway, this goes on forever and TW,B hits a piledriver on the commentary table that doesn’t collapse the table and they fight up the aisle and TW,B kicks the hell out of the Funker and Funk yells MOTHER FUCKER, SONNOVABITCH, YOU MOTHER FUCKER after taking a chair shot and someone pushes a stack of tables over onto THE WALL, BROTHER and Funk covers for three. KroniK walks in on Vince Russo and asks about that tag title match that Russo apparently told them they’d get for their interference at Spring Stampede. Russo tries to blow them off, so Clarke slams the door closed as Adams mean mugs Russo, who tells them that they’re going to have to wait and then makes to leave. Clarke looks at Adams, who nods, and Clarke opens the door and lets Russo through. We see a first-person shot of a hand holding a pen and signing the open contract that Jeff Jarrett has hung on his dressing room door. Well, we know it’s a white guy. After the break, Jarrett walks up, sees who signed it (though we can’t see that information at home), mumbles THAT DAMNED RUSSO, and rips the contract off the door. Gene Okerlund interviews DDP in the back; Page promises pain for Eric Bischoff. He also tries to get WHATEVER over. The Mamalukes’s music was playing in the background during Page’s promo; they’re in the ring. Tony S. points out the taxpayer leach who sang BE LIKE DAVE last year (Show #195) in the front row, as well as some hockey guy. We suddenly cut to the back, where KroniK destroy the Harris Bros. – they become bigger babyfaces all the time – and take their place against the Mamalukes in this number one contendership match for the tag titles. KroniK kick the hell out of these bums. It rules. Clarke drills a Meltdown to a pop because that move rules. Actually, all the power stuff these dudes did ruled and got pops. KroniK then land a double chokeslam – the High Times - on Vito, toss him to the floor, and land another one on the Bull. Adams gets a mic and threatens Russo; he’s a total dork and almost undoes the shine that KroniK got from this squash. Get someone to talk for these guys. What the hell is James Mitchell up to? Bring him back for this purpose. Vampiro’s music hits; Vamp creeps into the aisle and is holding a microphone. Unfortunately, Vampiro is fucking terrible on the mic, so this promo isn’t any good. The long and short of it is that he’s going to bring some pain to Sting. WCW is desperate for talkers, man. Russo keeps trying to do these talk-heavy shows with the wrong roster. Sting’s music plays, finally (and thankfully) cutting vampire off, and Sting ziplines into the ring holding a rubber bat, which he uses to attack Vamp. Sting requests a mic from a nearby tech, threatens Vamp right back in an equally corny way that he can get away with because he’s Sting and is super-charismatic, and beats down Vampiro. Sting lists off vets who he’s learned the pain game from as he swats at Vampiro with the bat, then lands a Scorpion Death Drop to a nice pop. We come back from break and Hogan’s still storming around, though he stops the cussing when he asks some kids sitting at a table if they’ve seen Billy Kidman. Jeff Jarrett is upset about the guy who signed the open contract; he complains to Russo about it, and Russo promises to go find whoever signed it and talk them out of the match. DDP wrestles Mike Awesome in the next bout. This match could be good if given some time. Awesome and Page unload some impact offense on one another and trade two counts back and forth. After Awesome scores a two-count off a lariat, he gets his Irish whip killed and reversed into a uranage. Page tries to shoot Awesome in, but Awesome kills it, back elbows Page to the floor, and lands a springboard lariat to Page on the floor. They obligabrawl, and Page tees off on Awesome with a chair after Awesome misses a charge and leaps into the guardrail. Back in the ring, Page charges Awesome with the chair, but Awesome gets boots up and kicks the chair back into Page’s face. He knocks Page to the floor, and Kanyon runs out and attacks Awesome; Awesome wins that scuffle with a release German, then goes outside to get a table. The match is thrown out as Awesome sets the table up in the ring as Page continues to sell that rebound chair shot. Awesome boots Kanyon in the stomach and preps an Awesome Bomb through the table, but the Wolfpac theme hits. When they shoot the ramp from behind Awesome, it's obvious that Nash is going to jump him from behind, which he does. He lands a Jackknife on Awesome through the table and hugs Page before crotch chopping Awesome. Page/Awesome would be fun as heck if they just got fifteen at Slamboree to a clean finish. Russo remonstrates with the person who signed the open contract; said person is off camera. Tank Abbott is WALKING, which is only noted here because Madden freaks out that WCW let Abbott come back after what he did to Madden last week. Shane Douglas and Buff Bagwell cut a promo with Gene Okerlund in the back; Buff says that Douglas will beat Flair at Slamboree and Douglas swears that he will get revenge on The Total Package for TTP’s interference in Douglas’s Thunder match last week. Package walks up and says that he’ll wrestle Douglas, but if Russo interferes, TTP wants the tag belts to come to Team Package. Douglas angrily agrees. Madden freaks out about Tank Abbott coming to the ring and tries to recall Tank’s exact wording about beating up “a different guy” each week, hoping that he's already taken his beating and is now exempt from future beatings. Tank points at Madden and yells DON’T EVEN LOOK AT ME, FAT ASS while Madden begs the rest of the desk not to antagonize Abbott further. That was pretty funny, actually. Tank reiterates his desire to beat up “innocent idiots that think [Goldberg’s] a hero” until Goldberg comes back and fights him. Madden on commentary: I DON’T THINK [GOLDBERG'S] A HERO; I DON’T EVEN LIKE HIM! Oh, hey, Tank snatches up the tax leach in the front row for a beating! The way Tank is picking his targets so far almost makes him a babyface. Anyway, the hockey guy and Dellinger and his mooks swarm the ring and keep things from getting ugly. Hogan has apparently been walking around this arena for the better part of an hour before running into Terry Taylor and inquiring about where Kidman is; Taylor points him in a direction and sends him off. The Network editors left a WCW Road Report in – a rarity at this point in Nitro’s lifespan. They also left in an ad for NitroGirls.com that oddly includes Stacy Keibler naming herself as “Skye” even though she’s been Ms. Hancock for like three or four months now. Russo tells Jarrett that he couldn’t convince the person who signed the open contract not to wrestle him. Jarrett gets upset, blames Russo for suggesting that Jarrett offer said open contract in a moment of shared hubris, and calls Russo “J.J. Dillon” as an insult. The Total Package (w/Liz) wrestles Shane Douglas in a match that could end in a dumb title switch, which is practically WCW’s specialty. Other than ref bumps. And transitions where a guy wins an obligabrawl, tosses their beaten opponent back in the ring, and the opponent suddenly revives and takes control when the guy who won the obligabrawl follows him. Uh, *ahem*, anyway, TTP controls with buckle bonks and a rope burn early. We get a neat overhead shot of the ring in there! That’s cool! Douglas turns things around with a side Russian and then chokes Package, first with his hands and then with his wrist tape. Package makes a comeback with clotheslines and a forearm in short order, which is when Buff Bagwell’s theme hits. Buff walks down to a pop even though he’s supposed to be a cowardly heel. Buff soon interferes in the bout, allowing Douglas to land a nut shot. Douglas follows up by obligabrawling with Package outside while Buff stalks Liz. A guy in a Sting mask is in the front row; everyone at the desk thinks that it’s Russo like on Thunder, but it’s Ric Flair, who waffles Douglas with his rubber bat. Russo runs down and drags Douglas out of the ring as the ref calls for the bell. Douglas and Buff yell at Russo for being late on the save because no group or entity can exist without internal turmoil in Russo’s company. Hogan took another ten or twelve minutes to make it to the location that Taylor pointed him toward. Or maybe Taylor sent him in the wrong direction in kayfabe. I’ll try not to think about the logistics too much. After a commercial break, we come back to Hogan getting Kidman over by beating the shit out of him. Torrie lands a weak 2x4 shot to Hogan’s back and he thinks about choking her before Kidman jumps him and he goes back to beating the shit out of Kidman. Wow, look at this magnanimous Hulkster give Kidman the rub just by being in the same angle as him! Hogan presses Kidman into a fucking dumpster – I did not make this up – and then goes after Bischoff, who tries to get in the white Hummer before running away. Hogan gets in the Hummer and plows it into the dumpster. Now that’s how you make a main eventer! After a commercial break, some med techs lift Kidman out of the dumpster and he does a stretcher job. In the main event, Jeff Jarrett defends his newly-won WCW World Heavyweight Championship against…Scotty Steiner (w/Midajah, Kim, and Tylene). Yeah, let’s put the gold on Steiner tonight. He’s not going to save this whole New Blood/Millionaire’s Club angle, but deranged world champ Scotty Steiner trying to ruin Hulk Hogan’s life is a feud that I’d actually want to see. Put the belt on Steiner, switch Hogan off Kidman, and have Steiner definitively go over Hogan to win a three-month-long feud. Steiner bullies Jarrett to start while I dream some more about Steiner/Hogan with Steiner eviscerating Hogan on the mic every night. It would have been so fuckin’ sweet. Alas, I know that Jarrett is going to be losing his gold to David Arquette, so Steiner isn’t going to win it tonight, Also, I'm pretty sure he doesn’t win it until he beats Booker T. for it in late 2000, if I’m recalling correctly. Jarrett wrestles this with urgency, I’ll say that much. He gets control and goes at Steiner, culminating in a top-rope crossbody for two. Jarrett tries a leapover on a corner charge and gets caught, Oklahoma Stampeded, and neck cranked while the ladies cheer. I mean, come on, this guy is obviously ready to carry the crown right now! WCW waited way too long to crown him because they were too busy trying to get this Jarrett push to stick. So, Jarrett and Steiner exchange low blows, and after Steiner puts Jarrett on the mat with a shot to the nuts, Steiner locks on a Steiner Recliner…and Booker T. breaks it by axe kicking Steiner, which draws a few boos. Book grabs a microphone and disgustedly barks YOU’RE WELCOME, PUNK at Jarrett. This finish actually drew a light BOO-KER SUCKS chant. See?! Everyone wants Scotty to be the champ, dammit! On another note, I am legitimately excited for Booker and Scotty to go at it in the main event. Just a few more months… Hogan is still wandering around looking for Bischoff, which I guess is what will end this show. After a commercial break and some more stills of Spring Stampede, we get our final angle progression of the night. Hogan stalks Bischoff with a lead pipe. He chases Bisch into the ring, kicks him in the balls, and stands over him. Vince Russo walks out with a bat, but Bret Hart rushes past him holding a steel chair, gets in the ring, winds up, and…the show ends. If I cared more about anything that Hogan is doing or thought that Bret would be back in action anytime soon, that would have worked better as a cliffhanger. I can’t knock the idea, honestly. This show was bad, let me make that clear. It still has the same functional problems of a Vince Russo show, except now everything that stinks about Russo's ideas is longer and drawn out as in the typical Eric Bischoff show. However, there were glimmers of good things in there: Steiner/Booker/Jarrett was compelling and a DDP/Mike Awesome feud would rule. It’s like Ruschoff is hovering around a series of feuds that would be a lot of fun, but they just can’t quite fit the pieces of the puzzle together. Also, they put themselves on television way the fuck too much, which doesn’t help. -3 out of 5 Stinger Splashes. 1
zendragon Posted October 21 Posted October 21 (edited) Who's the tax leach? Also the its math that SLAPNUTS is a terrible catch phrase! Edited October 21 by zendragon 1
SirSmUgly Posted October 21 Author Posted October 21 (edited) 8 hours ago, zendragon said: Who's the tax leach? The fella who co-owns the United Center, but actually, it was build totally privately, which is a super-rare thing in the United States. They got massive property tax breaks, though, so he's just less of a tax leech than most arena owners in the country. Quote Also the its math that SLAPNUTS is a terrible catch phrase! Ah, the Steiner Brothers and their arithmetical gifts! (Rick's I got a Ph.D in mathematics from Michigan; ask me anything, two plus two, whatever! is the funniest thing he's ever said or done.) Edited October 21 by SirSmUgly 1
SirSmUgly Posted October 22 Author Posted October 22 (edited) Show #237 – 24 April 2000 “The one where Scotty 2 Hotty manages to be one of the most over acts on the show” There was no Thunder on 19 April, so it’s time to Nitrooooooooooooooooooooooo again. We’re about four shows away from Slamboree, so there’s another quick turnaround with a short build. Vampiro stays getting into in media res brawls backstage to start shows. Last time, it was with Finlay. This time, it’s with Sting, who kicks his ass. Sting walks away before he’s really finished Vampiro off, so Vamp clatters him with a pipe as Bam Bam Bigelow watches the carnage in the background and decides to keep on walking toward Gorilla position instead. Remember that our hook was “who’d Bret Hart clatter with his chair” last week. We’ll find out more about that later, exclaims a hyped-up Tony S. Terry Funk walks out to defend his Hardcore Championship against Bam Bam Bigelow, who doesn’t wait for Funk to get to the ring before running down and jumping him. The Cat makes his presence known thirty seconds in, getting some payback on Bam Bam with a pie tin shot because Bam Bam attacked him at Spring Stampede, which I totally forgot even happened. Hudson and Schiavone hype Funk’s Beyond the Mat appearance as a way to talk about how amazing it is that he can even walk. So, the finish happens after about three minutes, if that. Bam Bam dumps a trash can over Funk’s head and beats it with a steel chair, but the Cat gets in the ring and somersaults his foot right into the chair that Bammer's holding, and it rebounds into Bigelow’s face; Funk weeble-wobbles over, still wearing the can, and crushes the toppled Bigelow with it. Then, he immediately covers for three. The Cat angrily tells production to cut Funk’s music and to play his instead; he gets in the ring and dances as production obliges with his request. Tony S. introduces the footage from last week; the Hitman rings up Hogan with a chair shot. Can you believe these fuckers in WCW are still teasing Hogan/Hitman in April of 2000? Stop trying to make fetch Hogan/Hitman a thing, WCW. [Editor's note: The Hitman was not on this show, and his actions were never mentioned again all night; this was the big cliffhanger from last week, and that's how it got paid off.] Billy Kidman (w/Torrie Wilson, taped ribs) hits the ring to tell Hulk Hogan a thing or two. In a funny moment, he says that Hogan realized last week that he’s more of a man than Hogan can handle, and some lady right near the mic yells AWWWW YEAHHHHH *clapclapclap* ALRIIIIIIIGHT. Kidman challenges Hogan to a match at Slamboree as this lady tries to fire him up. That Kidman superfan was genuinely funny. Bischoff is walking backstage with Kimberly and Jarrett, sees Kidman making his challenge on a monitor, and is somewhat baffled by it before continuing on to do whatever it is he’s planning to do. Norman Smiley tries to convince Vince Russo that ol' Norm can beat Terry Funk for the hardcore title; Russo doubts him, but says that he can get a partner and give it a go with whomever he chooses on his team at Slamboree. Then he mouths WHAT A GOOF as Smiley excitedly walks off. Jeff Jarrett (w/Eric Bischoff and Kimberly) walks the aisle as the next folks intent on doing some talky-talk in the ring. Kimberly mentioned having some papers a couple segments back, and I guess those are important because she’s holding them in her hand and Madden makes a point of asking what that’s all about. David Arquette boos Jarrett from his spot in the front row. Jarrett promises to beat DDP in the three-tiered cage at Slamboree and taunts Dallas because Kimberly has left him. Kimberly seems excited to divorce Dallas in kayfabe and also maybe as a shoot not long from now either, who knows? DDP (w/Einstein t-shirt) comes to the ring to respond. Dallas is like, Baby, why you actin’ like this and hangin’ out with these lames? Kimberly is like, You can’t fulfill my dreams, and neither can these MARKS in the crowd because wrestling fans are garbage, and I want a divorce. Dallas is like, Baby, how you gonna treat me like that? Why can’t we work this out? Kimberly is like, I’m OVER you, cornball, and Dallas is like, Whatevs, you’ve become a huge bitch anyways, and then Dallas tries to stuff the divorce papers down Bischoff’s throat and gets KABONG’d, and David Arquette jumps in there and so does Chris Kanyon and together, they clear the ring. Bisch screeches at Arquette from the aisle, calls him “Mr. Courtney Cox” because his wife is more popular than he is which is super-emasculating, obvs, and then challenges Arquette to a match. Arquette promises to 1-800-KICK-YO-BUTT (oh yeah, he was in those ads for long distance call services that no one under the age of 38 would even understand the point of now), but he says that if he beats Bischoff tonight, DDP gets a cage match against Jarrett for the title after that. Ah, I sense that our WCW World Heayweight Championship list for 2000 is soon to expand! KroniK gets a little handsy with Russo in the violent rather than the loving way, and Russo says they’ll get the title shot that they're demanding after they do him a favor. Jarrett worries about Bisch beating Arquette backstage, but Bisch is confident that he’ll handle business. He is not confident that Kidman will, though, and asks Jarrett to find him. Sting wanders around looking for Vampiro backstage. Chris Candido (w/Tammy Sytch) is going to have a wrestling match. Ooh, a wrestling match, what are those? I forget. Tammy Sytch grabs a mic and is FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKED up. Holy shit. She shit-talks Paisley, then takes off her robe and is clad in an outfit scant on much material. I guess this is a mixed tag match, according to Madden. So, TAFKAPI and Paisley are their opponents. There’s a catfight in there. Sytch climbs to the top and dives onto TAFKAPI and Candido at ringside. TAFKAPI gets in the ring and hoists the skirt-clad Tammy so everyone can get a nice long look at her thong-clad hamhocks. Candido jumps TAFKAPI before he can complete the suplex, and then somehow Paisley gets knocked out and Tammy covers her for three. We cut to Sting walking around backstage, then back to Candido and Sytch in the ring, and then back to the ramp, where Sting power walks out and hits Candido with a Scorpion Death Drop from behind before grabbing a mic and declaring that it is currently showtime. He thinks extremely little of Vampiro and would like to beat him up some more, except in the ring this time. He suggests that they have a First Blood Match later tonight, then stalks away. Kanyon and DDP fire up David Arquette backstage. The Total Package’s music hits and Team Package walks to the ring. KroniK’s job is to destroy these dudes. Their name, by the way, is spelled Kronic on the chyron, so they’re still figuring out the presentation of the Bri/yans. Anyway, did you know that KroniK worked in All Japan for a bit? I know what I’ll be looking for after I’m done with this project! All four men brawl while Ms. Hancock walks out and Buff Bagwell brings a bat to the ring and Liz grabs it but Shane Douglas enters from the other side with a bat of his own and hits Ric Flair and KroniK hits Flair with a High Times and Adams pins Flair and Douglas and Buff batter Flair and Package with the bats and the bell rings and Buff and Douglas tell KroniK to hit Flair and Package with the bats and KroniK beats up Buff and Douglas instead since they want to soften their opponents up before their title shot and this only took like three minutes, but as you can tell by my mostly punctuation-free run-on sentence, there was a lot to it! Vampiro cuts a promo in which he says that he’s going to have a panic attack just thinking about the potential of a First Blood bout against Sting, which, uh, really supports Sting’s argument that Vamp’s a wimp. Also, his shirt says PAIN on it, and the “I” is dotted with the Pepsi logo. So there’s that. Bischoff tells Mike Awesome, Billy Kidman, and Torrie Wilson to chill and let Ruschoff get them in the best position to succeed. After a break, Bischoff stands with these same folks plus Kim; he tells Okerlund that Awesome is Kidman’s backup and books a tag match between them and Hogan, then tells Hogan to find himself a partner or wrestle it at a disadvantage. Bisch also informs Hogan that he’ll be refereeing the Kidman/Hogan Slamboree match. Mike Awesome immediately comes to the ring with a new, non-Revolution theme. Good for him! He pairs with Billy Kidman (w/Torrie Wilson) in this next match. Tony S. sells some major injuries for Flair and Package during Kidman’s entrance. Ah, since the all-black-wearing main event menace is wearing a vest that says F.U.N.B., he shall be known for this match (and maybe any match where he's wearing it or is in all-black to fight a younger midcarder) as F.U.N.B. Terry Bollea. Bollea, into the camera: THE N-B STANDS FOR “NEW BLOOD;” YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT THE F-U STANDS FOR. Wow, this guy is cool, but rude! Bollea beats the shit out of two up-and-coming WCW stars by himself while the crowd chants for HO-GAN, which I think proves that this angle got over the guy it was supposed to get over. Bollea’s barely even giving his semi-distant relative Mike Awesome any play. What a greedy bitch this guy is. Anyway, I refuse to call this match, but rest assured that Hogan absolutely blows as usual. Hogan murks these dudes for fifteen or twenty years, basically kills off Mike Awesome before Kevin Nash can get the chance to do it, threatens Mark Madden while beating up Awesome at ringside, and my GOD, this thing goes on FOREVER. Just fucking send Awesome to the nether realm or put him in tie-dye already, either/or. This was a fucking travesty. Kidman finally hits the guy with a chair to the head so Bollea can blade and Awesome can hit him with a powerbomb through a table. Kevin Nash shows up backstage. Kidman hits a splash from the top, driving Hogan through another table, and then mockingly tears his Hulkster shirt and legdrops Hogan for a win. I see Bollea was like, Brother, I ain’t letting Kidman try an SST, SSP, whatever that little gnome calls it, on me. Probably a smart move, honestly! Kevin Nash is extremely late to the save and dominates until he eats a ball shot from Torrie Wilson. Awesome and Kidman trip Nash and destroy his previously-injured ankle. This was the longest wrestling-focused segment in a Russo-led show ever. Also, it was fucking awful, Absolute Dirt Worst stuff. And it only gets better! Eric Bischoff (w/Jeff Jarrett and Kimberly) wrestles David Arquette (w/DDP and Kanyon). Madden says that Dallas probably masturbates a lot now that he doesn’t have a willing sex partner in Kimberly. Not directly, but fairly obviously. Madden sure loves making masturbation jokes. Bischoff sure loves having shitty matches that no one asked for, on the other hand. Bisch hits some kicks; Arquette hits a spear and then, get this – GET THIS – he DOES THE FUCKING WORM (except with an elbowdrop rather than a chop) and the crowd pops HUGE for it and even does the WOO WOO WOO thing as he swings his arms from side to side like Scotty 2 Hotty. HOLY SHIT, that is amazing. Did no one tell Arquette that maybe it’s not the best look to ape super-over spots from the rival company that is way more popular? Anyway, there’s a ref bump and Jarrett accidentally KABONGs Bischoff; Arquette covers for three. This was too short to be bad, and also the most over move on this show being THE FUCKING WORM was so incredible that I couldn’t possibly hate this. The lights go out after the match, and I wonder if Russo is going to pay off that angle where someone would jump wrestlers in the ring after the lights suddenly went out, but no dice – it’s just Sting in the catwalk. Also, remember someone running around in an off-brand Scream Killer mask and jumping wrestlers backstage in December/January at the turn of the new year? Russo’s back and David Arquette is in the company, so this could be a cool time to pay it off! But no, probably that’s not going to happen. Why is Tylene Buck interviewing a celebratory David Arquette and Kanyon? Did she ditch Scotty Steiner or what? Jeff Jarrett and Eric Bischoff are the losers of the previous bout, so they get to complain at one another while crusty old pervert Gene Okerlund holds a mic. FINALLY, they got Scotty Steiner (w/Kim and Midajah) his siren-heavy theme. Steiner talks about fuckin’ the bitches and mackin’ on hoes. I mean, I use that language because that’s basically what he says! Then, he threatens Booker T.’s “jive ass” like this is 1973 before calling him out for a beating. Booker has a mic with him as he hits the ramp. Book basically says that his interference wasn’t personal, it was just business, and that sucks how it turned out for Scotty Steiner, but also, Booker’s not sorry and as someone from Texas New York, he’s fine with fighting things out anyway. Then, he calls Kim and Midajah both “hoochies” and “skeezers,” but in a consistent, super-babyface type of follow-up comment, also informs them that he will fuck them until they have a clear racial preference for darker-skinned sexual partners. So yeah, I blame Vince Russo for this. Midajah whiffs on a slap, and then Booker and Steiner brawl into the break. We see after the break that they brawled to a stalemate before a bunch of security mooks came out. Arquette and Kanyon fire up DDP. Russo stops Bagwell and Douglas before they can leave and tells them that they have to get back out there and defend their tag titles against KroniK. Man, I want KroniK to kill these chumps, but since Bagwell and Douglas hit the ring with Russo at their side, probably nah, unfortunately. The champs try to jump KroniK and fail miserably. Clarke eventually runs into a bit of trouble after he stops to punch Buff when Buff tries to interfere, but that doesn’t last long, though Buff manages to land a boot to the gut and a neckbreaker on Clarke to gain some control. The crowd, which was thrilled by F.U.N.B. Terry Bollea hitting offense for fifty years, ends up offering a slight BO-RING chant for the Bagwell/Douglas heel control segment, which is at least short. The crowd only seems to care about KroniK hitting power moves. They eventually line up Douglas for a High Times, and when Buff blocks it, they dump Douglas and hit Buff with a High Times. Russo hops into the ring as Hudson yells BULLSHIT and hits Adams with a rubber bat. Clarke grabs Russo and sets him up for a Meltdown, but Douglas grabs the bat and waffles him with it. Russo beans Nick Patrick with the bat as Patrick looks to call the match off as a DQ loss for Buff and Shane and then counts a three for his team when they cover Adams. This was, per the usual Russo-driven segment, a whole lot of sound and fury, signifying nothing. Well, nothing except that KroniK doing power moves is fun. Tank Abbott makes his way to ringside once more. Madden, still shook over the beating he took from Tank a couple weeks ago, genuinely cracks me up: “I’ve seen a psychiatrist since Tank killed me two weeks ago. I’ve listened to self-help records by the Swami Baha. *suddenly hopeful* Plus, I believe in Jesus, so that’s gotta help, right?!” He apes Frank Costanza’s SERENITY NOW chant. If he yells HOOCHIE MAMA as Tank stalks the ringside area, I’ll take back all the bad things I’ve ever said about his commentary for one night. Anyway, after Tank woodenly talks shit about Goldberg again and pump fakes at the commentary team, he beats Bob Ryder up. He also punches Jeremy Borash as Borash rushes the ring to check on Ryder, so basically he’s attempting to kill TNA in its crib. Again, are we sure that he’s a heel based on the victims he’s choosing? Okay, there are fourteen minutes left in this match, and Tony S. tells us that we’re getting 1) a world title match in a cage between DDP and Jeff Jarrett and 2) a First Blood Match between Sting and Vampiro, and in that order. That is a lot of stuff to pack into fourteen minutes! Page and Jarrett (w/Vince Russo) hustle to the ring. OK, time for a quiz: How does this cage match start? A: With Page and Jarrett exchanging punches in the center of the ring; B: With Page grinding Jarrett’s face across the cage walls before pulling out some brass knuckles and walloping Jarrett in the forehead; With a plundah-filled obligabrawl up the aisle and into the crowd? Before you guess, just remember that this is WCW in the year 2000. I’m sure that if you keep this in mind, you’ll figure out the correct answer. Anyway, after they finally make their way into the cage, which is actually a cell and should thus be called a Caged Heat match by WCW’s own naming conventions that I guess they’ve decided to ignore, Page and Jarrett rush through a match that would probably be pretty good if they edited out the opening plundah-filled obligabrawl and had more time to give Page extended shine in the ring and Jarrett an extended beatdown; they also needed more time to build drama around the cell as a weapon. Mike Awesome waltzes on up to the locked cell door, but I guess it’s locked and he can’t get in? Nope, he just rips the door off and renders the whole point of the match moot after Page lands a Diamond Cutter on Jarrett, and then Kanyon runs in late to cut Awesome off, I think, as the ref has to stop his count, but he eventually counts to what amounts to five. Page wins the belt and escapes with Kanyon and Arquette through the crowd as Tony S. is like NEAT, BUT WHATEVER, I’VE GOT TO PROMOTE THIS FIRST BLOOD MATCH. WCW World Heavyweight Championship title change count: 9 (Hitman > VACANT > Benoit > VACANT > Sid > Nash > Sid > VACANT > Jarrett > DDP) We slowed down a bit after the nonsense to start the year, and Sid was quite the stable two-month long champion, but matters are soon to progress quickly when it comes to the big gold belt. Quick guess: This First Blood Match ends with someone getting a blood bath. Let’s see if I’m right. I’m no Vampiro fan, as I’ve said many times before, but what good is it to have Sting wipe him out? How does this get Vampiro over at all? I mean, Vamp’s not going to help his case by being a poor promo cutter, but still. Vampiro gets his ass kicked, leave the ring, signals a throat-cutting motion, and then yep, we get a wide shot of a Sting blood bath. Russo is so devoid of original ideas. I swear to you I’d never seen this before; it was just obvious what was going to happen based on the match type and one of the idiots who is booking this show. Some New Blood members come to the ring to attack Sting and slide around in it, then figure out that maybe they’d better bring Sting outside to more solid and less slippery ground to kick his ass. Scott Steiner is disinterested in getting corn syrup on his clothes, so he just walks around looking like a boss. They re-hook Sting into his harness. This was very dumb. So dumb, in fact, that I think it qualifies for a certain list. This show made me wish that I was watching Too Cool and Rikishi on RAW instead, even if they were probably getting cooled off a bit by late April. -2,500 out of 5 Stinger Splashes. Edited October 22 by SirSmUgly 2
zendragon Posted October 22 Posted October 22 At least we still have Lance Storm winning three titles and Scott Steiner's thundercage still to come!
SirSmUgly Posted October 22 Author Posted October 22 9 hours ago, zendragon said: At least we still have Lance Storm winning three titles and Scott Steiner's thundercage still to come! We have so much still to come, and it's just about May 2000. Lance Storm, multiple gimmick changes for Mike Awesome, M.I.A., Booker T. joining M.I.A as G.I. Bro for a hot minute. (There are about nine weeks until Booker wins the big gold, and we haven't even made it to that phase yet. So much stuff consistently changes on these shows!) 1
zendragon Posted October 22 Posted October 22 Should Booker T be considered someone who was better used by WWE?
SirSmUgly Posted October 23 Author Posted October 23 Thunder Interlude – show number one hundred and seven – 26 April 2000 "The WCW Gang sees David Arquette win the WCW World Heavyweight Championship, and I realize that I've seen a whole lot worse than that from the WCW Gang" Slamboree’s not far away, so let’s Thunderrrrrrrr!... Recap: All the big WCW feuds that developed on Nitro – and a new world champion to boot – but no replay of Arquette’s version of the Worm…BOOOOOOO… Bisch, Kimberly, and Jarrett pull up in a caddy…They’re dragging a beaten and bruised David Arquette along with them…They head right toward the ring…Jarrett confirms that they snatched the hardcore legend from the hotel he was staying at…Jarrett demands DDP’s presence before he harms Arquette…DDP and Kanyon hit the aisle, and Jarrett holds them off from rushing the ring by threatening Arquette’s health…Arquette at least understands the concept of selling a headlock…He even coughs and chokes a bit…So, Jarrett demands a tag match in which Jarrett and Bischoff wrestle DDP and Arquette…Also, whoever gets the pin gets the big gold belt…Ooh, let me fire up the ol’ title change counter!... Buff Bagwell and Shane Douglas come to cut off the babyfaces' retreat options by standing at the top of the ramp, but Team Package jumps them…Bisch and Jarrett, grab Arquette, hop the rail, and take off through the crowd…Dallas and Kimberly have a domestic dispute in the ring…Kimberly slaps Dallas, and he hooks her *crowd cheers*, but then lets her go *crowd goes AWWWWW*…He turns to walk away, and she bonks him in the balls and walks away… We’re getting an interview with Bret Hart later tonight…Oh, Tony S. is now on this show as well, taking over lead PBP from Tenay, which is probably a good idea…Tenay's just not a lead guy; he's perfect for support... The Cat dances during his interview with Okerlund, then verbally craps on Bam Bam Bigelow…Okerlund says that Ruschoff is not pleased with him helping Terry Funk beat Bam Bam on Nitro…The Cat: I WANNA DANCE, THE HELL WITH WCW…Yeah, I understand that sentiment in 2000… Jeff Jarrett tells David Arquette IT’S MY WORLD and Bischoff cackles out a CALL 1-800-HAVIN’-FUN-YET? and I think Arquette having to listen to these dudes try to talk shit is bigger torture than if they just kicked the crap out of him some more… The Cat boogies to the ring to extract vengeance on Bam Bam Bigelow, who did in fact pick a fight with the guy…The Cat grabs a mic as Bigelow gets in the ring and asks Bigelow to forgive him for all the kicks to the face…He says that he just paid Bigelow back in kicks because Bigelow attacked him for no reason…He apologizes, and Bam Bam seems to accept until…The Cat: OH, I WANT YOU TO KNOW SOMETHING, I SAW YOUR MOM OUT BACK, AND YOUR BREASTESSES WAS BIGGER THAN HERS…So it’s a fight, and Ms. Hancock is out here to observe it…Bammer goes to get a chair, and the Cat plays dead…He’s put his slipper on, and he unloads a kick on Bam Bam when ref Slick Johnson takes Bigelow’s chair away…That gets three…The Cat dances, and Bam Bam hits him with a clothesline, then mockingly dances…This was pointless… Billy Kidman and Torrie Wilson pull up in the Beamer…DDP looks around backstage for David Arquette… Jeff Jarrett and Eric Bischoff harass David Arquette in some access hallway somewhere…It’s annoying stuff on their parts… Shawn Stasiak is very bad at pro wrestling…Let’s see if Kanyon can get something good out of him…Curt Hennig walks out and joins commentary…Stasiak working a Mr. Perfect knockoff gimmick is another reminder that there’s another company that does cooler gimmicks and I could be watching them instead…Stasiak hits a couple of rudimentary moves and celebrates, which allows Kanyon an opening to come back…Stasiak lands a series of boots and stomps to Kanyon in the corner to turn it around…Hennig has a pair of brass knuckles that he swears he’s not going to use…Hennig gets up and punches Stasiak while wearing the pair of knucks…Stasiak stumbles forward into a Flatliner for three and is smacked around by Hennig after the match besides… Mike Awesome comes down for the save, is cut off by Kanyon, but then disposes of Kanyon with a release German…Awesome just ignores Hennig abusing Stasiak, and it’s awkward because they’re just standing there right next to each other in the ring…Finally, Awesome goes outside the ring and powerbombs Kanyon through the commentary table for three, and somehow that reminds him that Hennig is in the ring…He stomps Hennig in the gut as Hennig applies a Perfect Plex to Stasiak…DDP power walks to the ring, and Awesome shoves Stasiak forward into a Diamond Cutter and leaves…Page demands Penzer’s mic and accepts the tag match that Jarrett proposed earlier… Billy Kidman (w/Torrie Wilson) enters the ring…Hey, it’s Marc Mero!...He’s in the front row…We were just talking about Mero in the general thread, funny enough…Kidman crows about putting Hogan down on Monday…He’s just not very good at heeling, unfortunately…He speaks of typical heelish delusions of grandeur…He’s feeling himself so much that he issues an open challenge and then turns up the heeling by giving the mic to Torrie…Torrie wants to give Kidman’s opponent “the kiss of death”…Yeah, it’s not anywhere as impactful as Catrina giving someone THE LICK…Now, a whole lot of dudes would have taken a beatdown from Mil Mascaras just to get THE LICK…I’m going to settle down Smellynetico, but Catrina legit might be the most beautiful wrestling lady ever, at least IMO… Hogan’s music plays, and HORACE Hogan walks out here for the first time in a long time…The Flock EXPLODES…Horace does his best to beat down Kidman, which he does pretty easily…This would have been way cooler if Mil Mascaras had come down and beat down Kidman…Kidman eventually controls with a rana…He misses a top-rope splash after a lot of stalling…Horace comes back, but Bischoff walks to the ring…Horace chairs Kidman in his taped ribs…I mean, what does this do for Kidman to get his head stove in by Horace fucking Hogan?...Insane booking…Torrie ball shots Horace before Horace can put Kidman through a table….Bisch kicks the ref and clocks Horace with a chair to the dome…Kidman rebound bulldogs Horace through the table and Bisch counts to three outside the ring…Torrie slobbers on Horace’s face…Boy, Kidman has been booked into oblivion since he tried to leave in January…Holy shit… Tank Abbott is now terrorizing Thunder with his demands for a Goldberg match…Tank is very bad at talking…Have him punch more TNA guys!...Oh, whoops, he’s going to punch Mero…Mero and Tank square off at ringside…Mero’s trainer is with him and the trainer, Ray Rinaldi, gets in the ring and squares up with Abbott…Mero and Abbott hook it up in the ring before security backs them away from one another…Huh…So, did Mero come back for a short run or what?...Hey, it’s the Johnny B. Badd theme!...In WCW in the year 2000!... Sting walks into the arena, still covered in a bucketful of Karo, looking morose…DDP finally tracks down David Arquette backstage and helps him limp away… THE WALL, BROTHER wrestles Sting next…It’s a Tables Match for reasons that I don’t get…Oh, wait, Russo is in the company…Yeah, that explains this and all the rest of the random gimmick matches on television…WCW always uses Sting in the dumbest fucking ways, don’t they?...That guy is a star because he stays over no matter what you do to him…Sting rolls TW,B early…He continues rolling TW,B...He tries a sunset flip bomb to send TW,B through the table, but totally slips because he’s covered in syrup and overshoots it…Sting gets to his feet and hits the powerbomb anyway to win…Vampiro jumps Sting and TW,B, who popped up from the table bomb, helps Vamp out…Sting shows some fightback and destroys his opponents…Good to see the young guys looking like threats…Ruschoff are great at putting these fellas over…In truth, Bischoff’s “they get a rub just from being up against the top guys” argument clearly falls flat if you just watch the television… Sting morosely exits the building after his victory… As Vince Russo, Shane Douglas, and Buff Bagwell walk to the ring, I look and see that somehow, this has only been 43 minutes of show…There is somehow still just over half the show left…How?!...Like a billion things have happened in this episode of Thunder!...Russo hates Upstate New York…He unfavorably compares it to Iowa…Buff doesn’t like it here either, and he also doesn’t like The Total Package…But you guys are gonna be buddies soon!...And you’re going to take down Goldberg, I’m pretty sure!...Shane Douglas complains about Ric Flair some more…According to him, IT’S A DAMN SHOOT because he’s a fucking goof…Thankfully, Ric Flair’s music cuts the Fraudchise off…Team Package walks to the top of the ramp… Russo starts yammering again and requests a security wall in front of the ring…Flair decides that it's important to talk up the vets; therefore, he now thinks Hogan is pretty good at wrestling again!...He says some stuff about how legendary the vets are…It’s a mediocre promo where he WOOs a lot, but it’s far better than anything the three bozos in the ring could come up with…Blah blah up and down the road blah blah true love of wrestling blah blah the fans love us because we love wrestling so much…Flair: RUSSO, YOU’RE A MARK…More Flair: Sting’s the franchise, not you, Douglas, and also, until you wrestle KVE or Brody, you can’t be as good as me…Well, they’re dead, so I guess Douglas is fucked in regards to being as good as Flair, huh?…The funny thing is that Flair says he’s pissed away more money on bar tabs than Douglas will ever make, and Tony S. deadpans, “Now that’s a shoot right there”…The rest of this was too much sub-average talking for me…Flair wants Russo for five minutes in the ring after he beats Douglas at the PPV, is what I think I heard… Oh noooo, it’s still going…Russo, who is fucking dumb: “Is this the part of the show where I’m supposed to play the chickenshit heel?”…I gave up after that, man…Russo is puerile and TTP is boring and who the fuck cares about any of this…Russo mentions the Lex Express being a failure, if you want to know how it’s still going…Russo tells TTP that Liz’s contract is with WCW and not TTP, so he’s going to be giving her the orders from now on…Russo sends security to grab her; Team Package runs at the ring, and Russo slips out of the side and snatches Liz…This truly was pro wrestling at its very worst… During the break, security mooks tossed Liz in a car; Russo got in and peeled off…I liked this segment because it hopefully means that since he left the building, Russo won’t be on this show anymore… DDP tries to get Arquette to undergo a medical examination, but Arquette’s too tough for all that… Tammy Sytch and Chris Candido hit the ring…Well, she’s slurring less than on Monday…She is incredibly unsexy as she disrobes…She shakes it in front of Charles Robinson, who seems more nonplussed than anything…Paisley (w/TAFKAPI) is Tammy’s opponent…There’s a catfight…Russo is like BRO, DUDES LOVE CATFIGHTS, WE’LL BE BACK IN THE FOURS, FOUR-POINT-FIVES IN NO TIME…Tammy chokes Paisley…Candido chokes Paisley…Paisley lands a vag shot, so Tammy responds with an Ace Crusher…She goes up tops and leaps on the fellas, who are tangling at ringside as well as the ref, who is out there as well, just as on Monday…Candido pops up from that and goes into the ring...Paisley pummels his testes…She hits a Muta back elbow on Tammy that started out good, but slowed almost to a halt when she got to the back elbow part…TAFKAPI trips Tammy on the top rope…Paisley ends up landing a DDT for three…This was not good, to say the least…What is the point of this feud or of these matches?...Candido attacks TAFKAPI and Tammy attacks Paisley after the match…Two in a row for the Absolute Dirt Worst list!... Gene Okerlund interviews Booker T., who is getting a U.S. Championship shot at Slamboree…Tylene Buck walks in and woodenly tries to ask questions as part of the interview…Booker doesn’t trust her on account of she was hanging around Scott Steiner as of late…He basically blows her off and leaves to face Mike Awesome in the ring…Scott Steiner, Midajah, and Kim spot Booker on television, and Steiner races off to find him… David Arquette is gonna tough it out, and DDP CAN’T STOP HIM!... Booker T. hits the ring for his match with Mike Awesome…This is another match with some potential, but I doubt it’s going to get much of a chance…These fellas don’t even lock up before the sirens hit and Scott Steiner (w/Midajah and Kim) wanders down the ramp…Oh boy, Steiner joins commentary…Steiner hates everyone…Booker, Hulk (and his various liver, bald, etc. spots), and basically everyone who isn’t Bobby Heenan…The match in the ring is solid…Book survives Awesome’s initial flurry and lands a pair of clotheslines, then initiates an obligabrawl with a diving forearm to Awesome outside the ring that he ends up losing… Heenan tries to tell Scotty that Tenay has never liked him, and Tenay begs off, but when Heenan says Tony S. doesn’t like Steiner either, Tenay readily agrees…It’s pretty funny…Back in the ring, Awesome earns a series of two counts…Book struggles to fight up from a chinlock…Awesome controls, controls, snaps Booker down to the mat when Book tries to stand, but finally gets caught with a back suplex…Book lands an axe kick…He dumps Awesome on his face and Spinaroonies up, but Steiner clocks Book with the U.S. title when Book goes up top to finish it…Awesome nearly tosses Book’s head into the ropes on an Awesome Bomb, yeesh…That gets three, and Steiner locks on a Steiner Recliner after the match…Lash LeRoux runs in for some reason, and so does Chavo Jr.…Oh no, and Hugh Morrus…and Van Hammer…They beat up Steiner and Awesome…This “motley crew of misfits,” as Tenay calls them, is finally here to be an incredibly dumb stable, bless their hearts…Booker looks somewhat confused and disgusted by these fellas... Pre-taped interview: Scott Hudson talks to Bret Hart, who still wants that Hogan match…Never gonna happen, my dude…All the stuff you’d expect Bret to say in this interview, he says, especially about the SummerSlam ’93 match that never was…Just imagine it…Also, this proud Canadian says the word “sorry” like so: SOAR-RY…I love it…. It’s main event time!...DDP tells David Arquette to keep his busted-up ass in the back, and Arquette agrees, but immediately, we see that he was lying since he walks behind Page anyway…They face Jeff Jarrett and Eric Bischoff…Tony S. is clear that “the one man who gets the pinfall is the winner”…Kimberly is the referee for this match…Arquette obligabrawls up the aisle with Bischoff while Kimberly refuses to count DDP’s covers…The crowd only pops when Kimberly’s whale tail is exposed…Otherwise, Syracuse has been pretty much bored with this show all night… Bischoff walks back to the ring, signaling that he finished off Arquette…Hey, a D-D-P chant at least starts…Dallas takes a beatdown, but fights back after a couple of minutes…Arquette stumbles back out to the ring…Dallas forcibly kisses Kimberly, who goes down…Arquette spears Bischoff and covers…Jarrett clobbers Dallas with the big gold…He covers Dallas, but well after Arquette covered Bischoff, so when Mickey Jay runs down to count a pinfall, he focuses on Arquette and counts to three…David Arquette wins the gold, which Page isn’t even that mad about…He gets a kick out of his little scrawny buddy holding the big gold belt… I mean, look, is this dumb?...Yes…But is it the Dirt Worst?...I mean, it was bad, but like, I can’t even get that disgusted with it…Most of these titles have been booked into the ground anyway, and Arquette beat a scrub like Bischoff to win it…I think out of context, it’s a big HOW COULD YOU BOOK YOUR WORLD TITLE LIKE THAT?...In the context of watching these shows consistently, is Arquette winning it off Bischoff any more devaluing than Nash stripping Sid of the title and re-awarding it to himself based on an angle that they taped during a Nitro commercial break just to drop it right back to him two days later on Thunder?...I mean, WCW can’t even shock me anymore at this point with their booking decisions…It’s like, almost the worst, but it’s mildly amusing enough that I really don’t have the (Vic) venom for it that I do Vince Russo dropping a bunch of insider references in a terrible promo battle with Ric Flair earlier in the show…Your mileage may vary… WCW World Heavyweight Championship title change count: 10 (Hitman > VACANT > Benoit > VACANT > Sid > Nash > Sid > VACANT > Jarrett > DDP > Arquette) I think, after a second-straight Russo run where he had an intriguing early episode of wrestling in there that had potential and then he followed it up with absolute nonsense, WCW is basically what it is…A lot of this is bad, but I genuinely prefer it to the Sullivan/Dillon/et al. stuff from the start of the year…This show was terrible, but really, it’s onwards and upwards from here…These shows will gradually get better…I think watching Spring Stampede 2000 was pretty much like the fever breaking for me…We’re slowly climbing out of the valley to, if not the summit, somewhere higher than the valley!... That's not to say that this show didn't suck real bad, though...OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW... 2
SirSmUgly Posted October 23 Author Posted October 23 8 hours ago, zendragon said: Should Booker T be considered someone who was better used by WWE? Yes. 1
zendragon Posted October 23 Posted October 23 I agree with you assessment of Tenay as a lead PBP and Catrina 2
twiztor Posted October 23 Posted October 23 8 hours ago, SirSmUgly said: Thunder Interlude – show number one hundred and seven – 26 April 2000 So, did Mero come back for a short run or what?...Hey, it’s the Johnny B. Badd theme!...In WCW in the year 2000!... In truth, Bischoff’s “they get a rub just from being up against the top guys” argument clearly falls flat if you just watch the television… DDP tells David Arquette to keep his busted-up ass in the back…They face Jeff Jarrett and Eric Bischoff…Arquette spears Bischoff and covers…David Arquette wins the gold. I mean, look, is this dumb?...Yes…But is it the Dirt Worst?...I mean, it was bad, but like, I can’t even get that disgusted with it…Most of these titles have been booked into the ground anyway, and Arquette beat a scrub like Bischoff to win it…I think out of context, it’s a big HOW COULD YOU BOOK YOUR WORLD TITLE LIKE THAT?...In the context of watching these shows consistently, is Arquette winning it off Bischoff any more devaluing than Nash stripping Sid of the title and re-awarding it to himself based on an angle that they taped during a Nitro commercial break just to drop it right back to him two days later on Thunder?...I mean, WCW can’t even shock me anymore at this point with their booking decisions…It’s like, almost the worst, but it’s mildly amusing enough that I really don’t have the (Vic) venom for it i wouldn't get your hopes up. BUT, i was surprised to see him pop up in TNA for a brief stint in 2005 when i watched a couple months ago. i didn't know he stopped in there. that argument has always bothered me because it's generally used to wave away anything non-surface level. Like, is there truth that "exposure" and "being in there with big stars raises your profile"? absolutely. But if you're consistently shown to be (to use another Bischoff saying) "LESS THAN", then it's not really doing anything for you. The Brooklyn Brawler lost to all the top guys, but nobody would buy him as a main eventer, or even a mid-card guy. People only remember Barry Horowitz for losing all the time, and that one time he pinned Candido. But this is pretty much my take on it too. It was dumb. for sure. but the angle itself was played reasonably well. Even on the next Nitro, Arquette is straight up saying that he doesn't deserve the title and that he can't honor the legacy or whatever. I just can't find the vitriol for something that was so obviously a mainstream attention grab, and doubly so due to the way the title hasn't mattered (arguably since the Fingerpoke of Doom- DDP's run notwithstanding). 1
SirSmUgly Posted October 23 Author Posted October 23 1 hour ago, twiztor said: i wouldn't get your hopes up. BUT, i was surprised to see him pop up in TNA for a brief stint in 2005 when i watched a couple months ago. i didn't know he stopped in there. Where is your "'00s TNA" review thread that I can read, dang it?! Quote that argument has always bothered me because it's generally used to wave away anything non-surface level. Like, is there truth that "exposure" and "being in there with big stars raises your profile"? absolutely. But if you're consistently shown to be (to use another Bischoff saying) "LESS THAN", then it's not really doing anything for you. The Brooklyn Brawler lost to all the top guys, but nobody would buy him as a main eventer, or even a mid-card guy. People only remember Barry Horowitz for losing all the time, and that one time he pinned Candido. But 100% agreed. It's harmful to rub up against main eventers if they always handle you easily unless you've got an advantage, etc. Quote this is pretty much my take on it too. It was dumb. for sure. but the angle itself was played reasonably well. Even on the next Nitro, Arquette is straight up saying that he doesn't deserve the title and that he can't honor the legacy or whatever. I just can't find the vitriol for something that was so obviously a mainstream attention grab, and doubly so due to the way the title hasn't mattered (arguably since the Fingerpoke of Doom- DDP's run notwithstanding). I think the worst thing about it is the SWERVE, BRO of Arquette suddenly heeling on Page and helping Jarrett win the title, which I know happens at Slamboree even though I've never seen the PPV. Nonsensical swerves are a) dumb and b) a Russo trademark. There is no logic possible to explain Arquette suddenly helping Jarrett beat Page. I also strongly agree that the WCW World Championship briefly meant something during DDP's run - and even that had the "Sting wins it from him, loses it back 75 minutes later" booking which really illustrates that there was nothing much left to tarnish about the way the big gold was handled at this point in WCW's lifespan.
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