Smelly watches every Nitro-era Nitro, Thunder, Clash, and PPV while sitting and sometimes maybe standing

[twiztor]

On 5/3/2024 at 2:59 PM, SirSmUgly said:

Show #169 – 7 December 1998

• Silver King is one of the TV glue guys in this company where you can throw him in there with a smaller guy and he can work big or a bigger guy and he can work small. He can work face, he can work heel, he can do whatever you need him to do.
• Tony S. shills a special edition of the WCW Nitro video game’s PC port, down to the holographic box. I wonder how much CIB copies go for on the internet. I did a quick search, but that search only showed a bunch of auctions where people just have a copy in the regular jewel case up for CIB.  
• I remember when everyone was like YEAH JAMES STORM RULES and I was like This guy is super-bland, who gives a shit about him. 

yeah, Silver King is totally underrated in the pantheon of WCW luchadores. 

took some looking, but i did find this listing for a sealed copy on eBay: https://www.ebay.com/itm/265347402868?epid=0&itmmeta=01HX8D8FNRH9D8KABNY0AQCMEW&hash=item3dc7f00c74:g:~j8AAOSwuiJhXdNU&itmprp=enc%3AAQAJAAAA4Krq0qCJicuJWsB7AounO8pV2gMmwgPYgEtc7MUGOJ70sSJ%2B1ly6gKlUm36e7gLHiCV6CfPJ4wP6%2Fb7vYVL3IZHMOqBP5Aev8OH5kOemS1NSgLne%2F9yl62d0FKAqofIL5U7SXrXUVchNLHArn3cLgYKoOE1QU8OXV4O%2F1GTwjVoBnUyzMCASkkQABQPSp79gK3eLZMiAUag1oZrS1jIG9DBANmE0fgqIwBzUo9BUjO3IwztwFIcsDb08DMqLOsZHtZEtX%2F5oWcQbDiDT4O5CgSzQCWKjatXctT10WAuaLE9S|tkp%3ABk9SR_z6oY3qYw  $350, with one copy already sold!

i am watching mid-2005 TNA. James Storm is fine, but definitely the lesser of AMW. He doesn't really DO much to be anything other than 'FIP that makes the hot tag to Chris Harris'. i am hoping he gets a small singles run to stand out a bit more.

[Curt McGirt]

There is that Bobby Roode match where he proves he will absolutely bleed like a stuck pig. 

[SirSmUgly]

I have a deep dislike for Bobby Roode and Beer Money, and I'm not a big AMW fan either. The guy just isn't for me. 

Honestly, the only thing I remember remotely fondly about mid-to-late-aughts TNA is the women's division. 

[SirSmUgly]

Show #170 – 14 December 1998

“The one with the (only, I hope) dumb Flair heart attack angle”

• Work has kept me away from Nitro, which is really too bad as I want to fire through these and get into 1999 already. The tension of knowing you’re going to have a bad experience is worse than having the bad experience, at least most of the time.

 

• There’s an opening recap of the Goldberg/Kevin Nash/Bam Bam Bigelow stuff from last week. The build to Nash/Goldberg has definitely been made worse by throwing Bam Bam in there.

 

• The desk talks about ongoing feuds after a Nitro Girls routine, then intros a video package to recap this Giant/DDP feud in particular. This match will be great, but the promos leading up to it are going to be painful. In this package, in fact, the Giant’s absolutely diabolical Christmas-themed promo is played nearly in its entirety.

 

• Raven is all alone, wearing a t-shirt with a cool graphic on it. It looks like Rorschach is on it? Rorschach and some other character. Raven walks down and grabs a mic while Scott Putski, who gets a jobber entrance, is hyped and ready to wrestle. Raven cuts a hilarious emo promo about his mom that is full of some of the most tortured figurative language ever. He says something like My mother gave me reality checks, but those checks all bounced, and of course I laughed, dear reader. Kanyon walks down to berate Raven, blows off Scott Putski as he does it, and basically they talk about how Raven actually is wealthy and well-educated. The crowd is bored by this, I think, but I’m entertained. Kanyon seems to think that parental love is expressed primarily in being given gifts like a Mercedes, which leads me to believe that Kanyon might not have the best insight into parent-child relationships! Raven sullenly leaves. I’m mildly excited for the WHAT A MARK segment. The Nitro intro plays.

 

• Eddy Guerrero, who created the lWo to boost the bargaining power of the Latin wrestlers in WCW and avoid them all just fighting with one another, comes to the ring to have his 4,075^th straight match against a Latin worker, this time facing Villano V. Poor Eddy. Poor Eddy and his dumb kayfabe ideas that pan out exactly in the opposite way. This is a solid opener, obviously. Both men are crisp as usual. Eddy works methodically in his control segment. Villano V makes a comeback and has a really nice floatover powerslam, actually. I enjoy it when he busts that out. He also busts out a surfboard, which gets a pop because surfboards are cool. Eddy’s bodyguard Spyder has to save Eddy by crotching Villano V behind the ref’s back, which allows Eddy to hit a superplex and land a Frog Splash for victo—no, hold on, Eddy pulls off Villano V at two and then the lWo comes down to offer Villano V membership in the lWo. Villano V can’t wait to join. Rey is reluctant to join the celebration in the ring, so he decides to leave instead.

 

• Wrath squashes Al Green tonight. Green gets a jobber entrance, as is appropriate. They do a little ringside brawling, as is also appropriate considering the era in which they are wrestling. This is a long squash, much longer than it needs to be, though at least it gives Tony S. time to promote WCW/nWo Revenge for the Nintendo 64 by talking about how revenge is also on the mind of Ric Flair. Wrath hits a Meltdown to a pop for three. People dig the Meltdown!

 

• Huh, I don’t remember this WCW VHS initiative that Tony S. pimps. The WCW/nWo Superstar Series kicks off with two releases: Sting: Unmasked and Macho Man Randy Savage: The Man Behind the Madness. I didn’t know these existed and will soon see if anyone has done us all a solid and uploaded them to YouTube.

 

• After a Flair/Bischoff feud video, Bisch comes to the ring to cut what is almost certainly going to be a bad interview with Gene Okerlund. Eh, it’s not bad, it’s just boilerplate. Flair is old, Bischoff is a supreme karate man, you know the drill. It’s nominally a heel promo, but I’m too bored to generate any heat for it, so it didn’t do its job. Flair runs down and chases Bisch out of the ring. We get some shaky cam as one of the cameramen tries to figure out where everyone ran, but Flair eventually just comes back to the ring to cut a promo. Oh, and to elbow drop and knee drop the mat. This era of Flair promos…I don’t know, folks. Oh no, and then after the semi-iconic line where Flair says that he’ll pull Bischoff’s heart out so he can show the crowd that Bischoff has no heart – a Tyson-esque sort of threat that sounds amazing even if it makes little sense – Flair fakes a heart attack. This sucks, man. It really does. Some fan in the crowd with an erasable whiteboard does quickly scribble out a NEED PACEMAKER message that he shows to the rest of the crowd. That did make me laugh.

 

• OK, this is one of those things that makes sense in the booking meeting. Bischoff has stressed Flair out so much that Flair’s blood pressure has exploded and he has a heart attack. In practice, it stinks. One, working life threatening injuries in a way that isn’t heightened so that we can all definitely tell it’s part of the act is a terrible way to go. Two, Bischoff just got done calling Flair old, and though heart attacks can happen to people under forty, I think collectively, we tend to think of them as something that happens to old people. Therefore, Bischoff was proven right, I guess, that Flair shouldn’t be in the ring with his old ass? Three, this is completely uncompelling television to watch a guy get wheeled out of the ring. Tony S. hits Owen Hart Voice about five months before Owen Hart is murdered via craven neglect by Vince McMahon. I did not like anything about this segment except for the HAVE NO HEART line from Flair. That was a great line. Oh, and the request for a pacemaker from the fan. That was pretty good, too. 

 

• So, they load the ambulance, and then cut to another camera in the back where Scott Hall (drunkenly?) crotch chops Bam Bam Bigelow, and Bigelow kicks the shit out of him. The poor crowd in the arena hasn't gotten any in-ring action in awhile. Kevin Nash wanders up and threatens Bam Bam, but security holds them apart. Oh, great, now here’s Goldberg for another three-way pull-apart.

 

• I wonder what’s on RAW right now? Wow, now if this isn’t an Attitude Era-ass RAW result: Ken Shamrock and the Big Boss Man (w/Shawn Michaels) defeat the New Age Outlaws in six minutes and forty-six seconds to win the WWF World Tag Team Championships. Jeff Jarrett defeats Steve Blackman in two-and-a-half minutes in a Guitar on a Pole match?! The Rock (w/ Shawn) successfully defends his WWF World Championship against Triple H (w/Chyna) in a ten-minute main event.

 

• Huh, now I wish I were actually watching that RAW instead.

 

• Hour number two starts with Gene Okerlund in the ring yet again. We’re getting sold that Nash/Bammer/Goldberg triangle match as our main event for the second week in a row. Billy Kidman comes down here to talk, which is a mistake because he stinks at talking. This mistake is compounded by calling down a pre-WWE Rey Misterio Jr. to also talk. Misterio’s new music is actually one of the most contemporary things about this company, by the way. It’s going to be a mistake to unmask Rey, but also, his post-unmasking look is going to fit right in with 1999, so at least there’s that. Kidman wants to defend his title in a match against Rey right now since Misterio’s done so much “for the little guys like us.” C’mon, man, don’t call yourself “little.” Rey promises no lWo interference, which is a wild thing to promise, and then the match just starts? I guess the WCW Matchmaking Committee is okay with this?

 

• Tony S. talks in hushed tones about Ric Flair’s health while Rey and Kidman do a bunch of counters. Speaking of, Kidman counters a top-rope rana attempt with a super sitout spinebuster. That only gets two, and Rey gets a headscissors that sends Kidman to the floor, then follows up with a baseball slide and a crossbody that crashes a whole bunch of humanity over the rail and into the crowd. Cool series of spots! Back in the ring, Kidman takes over as the WCW Championship Committee was apparently like, Hey, I guess this is a title match now, someone tell Tenay. Tenay relays the message. Sure, why the hell not? I only kid because WCW itself spent the past couple of years having J.J. Dillon represent said committees on TV so often that we know they exist in kayfabe.

 

• This is a solid match, but the nearfalls have no suspense for me because the lWo is in the building. The match is also not helped by Tony S. breaking in to report on Flair’s health every couple of minutes. Rey landing a Bronco Buster while Tony S. hits the Owen Hart Voice again is kind of a funny incongruence, though. Both guys land moves that get close two counts, but again, no real suspense there. The crowd doesn’t get up for the nearfalls, either. Kidman runs out of ideas and puts Rey in a chinlock for awhile, but they pick it back up and do some more nearfall spots and counters. There’s a good one where Rey holds onto a powerslam attempt and cradles Kidman for two, which of course is when Damien 666 and Ciclope run down and cause a no contest.

 

• Rey and Kidman easily fight them off to a big pop – see, the crowd was awake! They just knew not to get invested in any of the pinfall attempts as I did. Some more lWo members run down and get rolled by Kidman and Rey. Kidman leaves the ring, but Rey sticks around for too long and finally gets beaten down by eight lWo guys. Kidman comes back for the attempted save, but that goes poorly for him. Aw man, as someone who got bored with endless nWo beatdowns, let me tell you that subbing in a bunch of luchadores for the beatdown did not make this better. At least Larry Z. tries to get the angle over a little bit by pointing out, as Eddy Guerrero oversees the violence, that Eddy is in a “he who fights monsters” situation where he’s pretty much acting like the man he’s purporting to fight against, Eric Bischoff.

 

• As they show Bam Bam beating up Scott Hall and challenging Kevin Nash from earlier tonight again, I think that at least Bammer finally got the big main event push that he was supposed to get after jobbing to Lawrence Taylor.

 

• Speaking of guys with the last name Taylor, this is the second straight week Terry Taylor has shown up on television, as he was the official yelling commands as that backstage brawl was broken up. Strike two, WCW.

 

• Jericho (w/Ralphus, whiteboard) walks down the aisle, where a savvy fan lightly touches him that he can get a picture of Jericho turning around and sending Ralphus over to admonish him. Unfortunately, some event staff dude doesn’t watch this show and fucks up the whole spot. Dammit, event staff dude. Jericho gets in the ring, says that Konnan looks like Baby Huey, and calls him the best Latin rapper since Gerardo. That last bit got mega-heat in this house, and I’m not even Latin. That’s just an obscene thing to say about even Konnan’s rapping. Jericho calls Konnan out to help illustrate Jericho’s theory of how he got robbed of the TV title.

 

• Unfortunately, we get a dude pretending to be Konnan and doing a whole cornball Mexican stereotype gimmick, which cools my excitement for this sketch, in which Jericho makes the case for Konnan cheating to defeat him and sometimes obliquely echoes language about JFK’s assassination. The fan with the whiteboard gamely keeps up with the gag and holds up a new message: K-DAWG CHEATS. That fan is doing some solid work with the whiteboard tonight. Anyway, Jericho beats up the Konnan impersonator and bigs himself up while he has the impersonator in the Walls of Jericho. Well, they can’t all be winners, even for ’98 Jericho.

 

• Craig Leathers fucks up the timing of the music on the Nitro Girls routine. DAMMIT, LEATHERS. Even if he’s just overseeing the truck and some intern fucked it up, it’s on his watch. Oh, and Ric Flair is in the hospital, chest pains, yada yada.

 

• As Emery Hale locks up with Barry Windham, I think that this is an amazingly dull Nitro considering that we’re two Nitros out from Starrcade. It’s not a bad Nitro. It’s just that nothing has any heat with me on this show. It’s just a bunch of stuff. Sure some of that stuff is Barry Windham throwing a sweet-looking punch, but some of it is Jericho doing a rare weak sketch, the interminable lWo angle inching along, or Raven and Kanyon doing a lot of talking to start the show that, while entertaining, feels like a rerun of a rerun at this point. This match is perfectly cromulent, but, like, I find it hard to care about any of this. Windham drills a bulldog and fires off a floatover superplex for the win.

 

• I do care about Norman Smiley, though. This guy rules. Ooh, and he’s going to square off with Saturn! See, I complain about not caring about any of this show, and they immediately try to win me over. Saturn scores two on a small package early; Smiley is shook, but he strikes back with a Northern Lights Suplex and a bridge for about 1.9. The opening is these fellas doing some mat graps and trying to get leverage, and I dig it. Smiley dismissively slaps Saturn and does the Big Wiggle while Saturn freaks out in the corner at the blatant disrespect. Saturn stomps a mudhole and Charles Robinson steps in and tries to break it up at the five count, and Saturn turns to him, enraged, and…politely says I’M GOING TO HAVE TO ASK YOU TO PLEASE KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF OF ME. That’s hilarious to me, like what the fuck? That is truly some excellent composure for a pro wrestler.

 

• Smiley goes outside, gets back inside, hits his stalling body slam, and dances. He then hits the strangest-looking atomic drop I’ve ever seen, like a sitout atomic drop. This is when Sonny Onoo and Ernest Miller come out; Norman Smiley clears out the ref, and when Saturn tries to hit a DVD, Ernest Miller kicks Saturn in the face. Scott Dickinson runs out and counts a super-fast three count because Saturn kicked the shit out of him for being bad at refereeing last week. Man, are we really going to do another evil ref deal? Please, no.

 

• Also, just for the record: I HATE REFEREES, THEY’RE INCOMPETENT AND STUPID.

 

• Bret Hart cuts an interview with Gene Okerlund. The Hitman does the usual spiel: He's injured a lot of guys, he’s injured now, he’s still the best, though, and man, I am bummed out about the Bret Hart Experience here in WCW. The Hitman challenges DDP to a U.S. Championship match right now. Since I have a working brain, I’m going to say that this is clearly a trap, but Page comes out here anyw—yeah, the Giant immediately clobbers Page with a chair at the top of the aisle. WCW babyfaces are so dumb. The Giant tosses away the “W” and the “C” on the big WCW letter stand on the left side of the stage, lifts Page up onto the stand, and then chokeslams him through a gimmicked box that makes a nice CRACK sound as Page lands. It was acceptable angle progression and it was short, too, so that’s a bonus.

 

• We have hit hour number three, and I wonder if knowing that the Nitro after Starrcade does a hard reset for the main event scene back to basically November of 1996 is also keeping my interest in the story development low. Konnan brings an athlete posse to the ring with him after blowing off Disco Inferno in gorilla. Konnan’s facing Stevie Ray, who is reluctantly seconded by Booker T. Booker agrees to watch Stevie’s back, which is odd – you’re nWo now, Stevie, get Vincent or Crush to do that shit instead. I am bummed out about the Booker T. Experience right now, too, if you want to know the truth. I was enjoying his latest TV title run before he got injured. Konnan survives a Stevie assault and ends up kicking Stevie to the outside. Stevie and a sauced Wade Boggs (well, I guess the “sauced” part was so obvious as to be unnecessary to note) mean mug each other. This has been surprisingly entertaining. Back in the ring, Stevie actually catches Konnan’s back kick and lands a facebuster. Huh, this match has been solid. Too bad we need to do some stupid angle shit where Booker and Stevie fight over whether or not Stevie should use the slapjack (Stevie’s opinion) or whether Stevie should maybe just press his advantage and finish the guy (Booker’s opinion). Stevie loses the argument and then the match as he’s given Konnan enough time to recover and fire off a facebuster of his own for three. That was a weirdly enjoyable little match. What the hell?!

 

• Is it necessary to have Eric Bischoff come out here again for another segment? Fuck me, man. I can’t even enjoy mustering up a phony WOW, ERIC BISCHOFF IS OUT TO THE RING AGAIN BECAUSE HE EQUALS RATINGS at this point. This fuckboi does a whole “serious Bischoff” deal, and I’m not sure why he’s out here sincerely apologizing for Flair having a fake heart attack unless he’s going to blow it up by being a dick. Yeah, I guess he’s going to play empathetic to get the whole Flair family to truck on down to a show at some point between now and Starrcade to do a fake-out on an apology spot, huh? No interest, fuck off, Bischoff/Flair has been a dreadful feud.

 

• Gene Okerlund drags Booker T., and ultimately Stevie Ray, back out here for an interview. Please, can’t we just break Harlem Heat up without having them feud? Don’t Bisch and Sullivan see what they have wrought with this Steiner Brothers feud? Why are they going to do it again? Stevie does cut a good heel promo though, even though he uses the word “durn” and the caption is like, That’s cornball shit, I’m writing the word “damn" instead. Stevie is having himself a night, though. Stevie is feeling insignificant because of how well Booker did for himself, so he joined the nWo and is trying to reel his more successful brother back in. He’s also not a fan of Booker wearing a tie and dress shirt, the subtext being that going corporate is for punk-ass bitches and not real OGs from Harlem.

 

• Raven’s mom flew down here in her Lear jet, and she wants in the arena to see her son, dammit! Did they get an actual actor for that position? The quality of her acting is, um, much better than normal for WCW. Kanyon intercepts her and tries to get some cash before agreeing to help her out. 

 

• So, is Scott Hall a) merely pretending to be oiled up, b) actually oiled up, or c) just really relaxed tonight? Hell, even if Hall were totally blitzed in kayfabe, he should be able to beat Horace Hogan, right? Hall hits a chokeslam and does his FrankenGoof taunt. That taunt rules. Hogan the Younger works hard. I’ve said many times that he gives max effort and is a useful midcard piece, but they really did him no favors by sticking him in the nWo and associating him with Hogan the Elder. See, Horace hits a suicide dive that looks nice. He hits a few moves, gets a two count, and goes to a sleeper that doesn’t quite get the job done. Hall back suplexes his way out of immediate danger; then, he kicks out at two when Horace rolls over during the standing ten count and tries to sneak a pin. Hall blows away Horace from there, so the B-Teamers run down and jump him after he signals for a Razor’s Edge. Disco Inferno runs down wearing a Wolfpac tank for the save. Wait, is the term  save defined as to get powerbombed by Scott Norton? Or no? Because if no, it wasn’t really much of a save.

 

• Van Hammer’s music starts with him saying FARRRRRR OUTTTTTT. Hammer comes out and says to the camera PEACE IS WHAT YOU WANT; VIOLENCE IS HOW YOU GET IT. I think that philosophical argument carries more than a few troublesome implications! He’s going to wrestle Scott Steiner (w/Buff Bagwell, nWo ref). I’m so done with this nWo ref shit. It’s nonsensical. Why would anyone wrestle a guy who brings his own ref? Why would WCW allow the nWo ref to oversee bouts with WCW wrestlers in them? I don’t give a shit if I’m thinking about this too deeply or whatever. It’s stupid. End this dumbass ref angle. Hammer gets blown away after Steiner jumps him at the bell and doesn’t get a single move in before submitting to the Steiner Recliner.

 

• Steiner yammers on after the match about how great he is, his peaks, etc. Then he tries to recruit Lex Luger from the Wolfpac into Hollywood. Scotty and Buff attempt to butter Lex up and attempt to argue that he’s the forgotten man in the Wolfpac. Well, not counting Randy Savage and Sting, I guess. Buff does a reasonable job of making the case that Konnan’s in music videos and Sting is in movies and Nash and Konnan are shilling t-shirts, but Luger is left back in the locker room to pick his nose or whatever. Luger isn’t really into the offer, though, at least at this point. He leaves while Buff and Scotty try to entice him to switch sides. The talking was solid, but the nWo intrigue stuff is beyond dull.

 

• We’re finally getting this triple threat main event, I suppose. We’re two weeks away from the end to this botched Goldberg World title run. I genuinely don’t remember if he ever gets the title back, honestly. All I remember about him after this is the worked shoot match he's in where the story is about how wrestling is actually all a big work after he walks out on a match, and then the storyline that he had to recreate his streak or he was gone from WCW, and Totally Buff actually beat the guy (one of the more shocking finishes - to me - that I can remember as a fan). He didn’t even show up for the last Nitro.

 

• Bammer jumps Goldberg at the bell and Nash just chills in the corner and watches. Goldberg comes back and goes for a pinfall, which causes Nash to jump the champ. Bam Bam and Nash trap Goldberg in the corner and punch him, but Goldberg fights his way out. The first part of this match is basically a handicap match in which Goldberg’s comebacks get huge pops. After Goldberg clears both guys out with a double clothesline, the second part of the match is Nash and Bam Bam taking turns trying to beat Goldberg and clearing one another out if necessary to get the chance to finish off Goldberg.

 

• Goldberg eventually fights up, suplexes Bam Bam, hits Bammer with a spear, and goes for a Jackhammer that Nash breaks up. Nash has a bit of control, but Goldberg ducks a big boot and hits a spear. Bam Bam tries to interfere, but Goldberg shrugs him off and tries to get Nash prepped for the Jackhammer…and Scott Hall runs down and jumps Goldberg to spark a no contest. Ew, that finish was the wettest of wet farts. Hall and Bigelow end up fighting their way out of the ring while Goldberg and Nash throw blows at one another in the ring. Meh.

 

• The build to Starrcade has both felt interminably long and yet missing something, in need of more development across the board for the feuds going into the show. Well, except for Bischoff/Flair. Please end that nightmare of a feud ASAP. 2.5 out of 5 Stinger Splashes.

[SirSmUgly]

Thunder Interlude – show number forty-four  – 17 December 1998

"The WCW Gang gets some early practice in on stinking it up in 1999”

• It’s the last Thunder of 1998…I’ll go to bat for 1998 Thunder being a consistently solid show after this rewatch…

 

• Brady Boone, AKA, Battle Kat, passed away in a car accident and is given an in memoriam before the start of the show…

 

• The desk pushes the Flair/Bischoff feud stuff…The Flair family is going to show up on Thunder tonight according to Tony S., and let me tell you, I am not excited for more Flairs on my television…

 

• We recap Scott Steiner and Buff Bagwell recruiting Lex Luger into nWo Hollywood…Luger is facing Scott Hall tonight in a match that is storyline centered on nWo Hollywood membership…Yuck…The match should be decent [Editor's note: Not really], but will it even have a finish?...

 

• Konnan defends his Television title against Kenny Kaos…Kaos has defeated Chris Jericho and Dean Malenko in recent weeks to earn this title shot been off either of the two major shows lately…Wait, hold on, Kaos comes out here with one of the tag titles…Is he still a tag champ?...I thought Judy Bagwell was the latest co-champ…This company, ten years earlier, ran multiple dope tag feuds over TWO sets of tag titles…But here in 1998, Rick Steiner won both titles by himself and then hands out one of them to whomever the fuck he pleases, including Buff Bagwell’s mom…

 

• Scott Steiner and Buff Bagwell walk out here and crash the desk…Scotty’s out here mad about the Luger/Hall match…He promises to interfere on behalf of Luger…There’s a match going on in the ring, and we see snippets of it while they talk at the desk…I’ve pretty much checked out on this match, which is too bad because Kenny Kaos is trying hard…Tony S. Remembers a Random ‘90s Athlete: Scotty was wearing a Kerry Collins Panthers jersey. I forgot that guy existed and that he played for the Panthers, who drafted him. I remember him as a Giant. Meanwhile, Konnan hits a sitout facebuster and locks on a Tequila Sunrise for the win…Robbie Rage comes out wearing a brace on his arm…Do you love tag teams breaking up for no fucking reason?...I SAID, DO YOU LOVE TAG TEAMS BREAKING UP FOR NO FUCKING REASON?!?!...Rage and Kaos have an off-mic argument about Kaos not even calling Rage before agreeing to tag with Rick Steiner while the bored Charlotte crowd chants WE WANT FLAIR…

 

• Oh, Thunder…It’s so appropriate that you are being terrible to close out 1998 because you’re just getting in a groove of terribleness for 1999…The Flairs get out of a limo and wander around before we go to break…Oh, Thunder…

 

• Here’s some Nitro Flair/Bischoff recap stuff…Oh man, do I hate this feud…

 

• We missed out on Mike Enos, TV Champ, folks…We really did…His opponent, Fit Finlay, got the interstitial TV title reign earlier this year that should have gone to Enos, in my opinion…I love Finlay, but not really until he hits about forty and shows up in WWE…These guys just beat the hell out of one another…It rules…Finlay steamrolls the guy for a big chunk of this match…Enos finally gets some control after hitting a juji gatame (is that the right judo term?) out of a Finlay sleeper…Some dolts in the crowd chant BORING because they have shitty taste in pro wrestling, IMH-fucking-O…Enos lands a sweet fisherman’s shoulderbreaker…The desk agrees that Enos should have gone for a cover after hitting a second-rope powerslam instead of going back to work on Finlay…They’re right, as Finlay started out in total control, but has to sneak an inside cradle to get away with a victory…Enos chokes the fuck out of Finlay in a rage…They brawl in the aisle while I think to myself, yeah, Mike Enos should have been a consistent midcard fixture in WCW until the whole thing went belly up…

 

• There’s an outro with Bischoff feigning remorse w/r/t Flair…Can we get outros with Goldberg headbutting lockers and Nash issuing threats to Goldberg instead?...

 

• Scott Hall rolls out wearing street clothes…He takes a little mic time for himself to hype the Luger match later tonight…Scott Hall’s 1998 has been a clusterfuck of booking failures…Hall bemoans his messed-up kayfabe life and also his messed-up shoot life…Hall hits a Razor Ramon callback by saying that he wants “the world and everything in it”…Or is it Hall hitting a Razor Ramon callback that is actually a Tony Montana callback, technically speaking?...

 

• Tony S. announces that Billy Kidman will defend his Cruiserweight title at Starrcade in a triple threat match against Rey Misterio Jr. and Juventud Guerrera…Sure, why not, that should be a decent car crash…After Heenan gets done doing some annoying fake laughter, here comes a recap video for this whole-ass feud…

 

• Well, that was long…Rey Misterio Jr.’s up next on the show…I’m into seeing Rey wrestle Prince Iaukea, but here comes the entire lWo…Eddy Guerrero seems to misunderstand that Polynesians are not necessarily Latin or native Spanish speakers…Eventually, Eddy gets around to threatening Iaukea in English to keep Iaukea from going to the ring…Iaukea, who is annoyed by Juvi Guerrera grabbing his pecs, isn’t so annoyed that he’s not willing to take the night off…Eddy sends Juvi down to face Rey instead…Oh WCW Matchmaking Committee, whither art thou?...I’ll let it go…We’re headed into 1999, where logic has no place in developing angles…

 

• The match is fine, but the issue with this lWo angle is that all of this stuff means nothing because there’s going to be some kind of a screwy finish…WCW doesn’t have the ability to do satisfying screwy finishes like, say, same-era WWF or early-‘80s Mid-South…Mostly because their screwy finishes are a) pretty much all the same thing and b) usually result in the heels standing tall…On cue, here comes Eddy Guerrero as the match goes to break…

 

• We come back to a bunch of counters and two counts…Rey’s counter dropkick on a diving Juvi signals that we’re headed toward the end of this bout…Juvi blocks a Rey rana attempt by powerbombing him, then goes up for the 450…Rey manages to crotch Juvi, but Juvi engages the ref and Eddy lands a Frog Splash on Rey…That scores three for Juvi, but Iaukea runs out and pulls a Konnan, that punk-ass narc…Look, I appreciate Charles Robinson’s kayfabe ref work over the past few weeks, but reversing a decision based on someone else’s word instead of what you actually saw is terrible reffing…That’s a Scott Dickinson-level decision…The lWo runs down, but fails to beat down either Iaukea or Rey, who both escape…The lWo is really bad at beatdowns…They should ask the B-Teamers for tips, maybe a seminar…

 

• A camera follows Scott Steiner and Buff Bagwell around backstage…They bust in on Lex Luger’s locker room and try to pitch him on the black-and-white again…Hey, Konnan busts in and runs them out of there, then checks to make sure Luger isn’t thinking of switching teams…He notes that they already talked about this issue off-screen, which I was sure as heck wondering about since no one from the Wolfpac has yet responded to Steiner and Bagwell on camera…Luger reassures Konnan and Konnan leaves…We hear Konnan go AUGH and a huge smack, and Luger runs out with the camera following him to see Konnan laid out and Scott Hall standing over him…Hall and Luger threaten one another instead of, like, communicating with words about who knocked Konnan out…

 

• DDP was able to recover from THA CHOAKSLAM enough to go read Christmas books to kids with Kimberly…Did Mick Foley, the self-proclaimed King of Christmas do this?...Uh, I’m trying to do a data-based comparison to see who really is the King of Christmas…

 

• Shiima Nobunaga has dope goggles on…He’s facing Disco Inferno…Disco wears a Wolfpac t-shirt…I know they eventually let him in because he’s in the Wolfpac in the WCW Mayhem game, as I mentioned in an earlier review…Does this lead to an internal Disco/Konnan feud and the OIL OF OLAY, ALL DAY, EVERY DAY song that absolutely fucking killed me?...I sure hope so!...They work a pacey match…Disco is an underrated base for smaller wrestlers…I stand by my belief that Disco Inferno is a better professional wrestler than Cody Rhodes…I bet I can make the case…Nobunaga gets control and tries to drop a Frog Splash, but he’s not a master of the move as is Eddy Guerrero or Rob Van Dam or even D’Lo Brown, so he misses…Disco quickly capitalizes with a Chartbuster for three…

 

• One thing going right in WCW: Norman Smiley is getting a mini-push…He’s a babyface tonight, I guess…He’s slapping hands and facing Jerry Flynn…OK, let me give Flynn credit…He feigns to lock up, but hits a throat thrust and then laughs evilly…That was a pretty good spot…Smiley takes over with a stalling slam and dances…Smiley blocks a sunset flip, but dances instead of countering and gets rolled up…I think this match drifts into potential Charming Uniquity status after Flynn catches a Smiley kick and transitions into an ankle lock…I can’t tell you that this match is, like, good, but it’s definitely entertaining…Flynn is having an oddly fun night in the ring…Smiley eventually goes up top, is caught by Flynn, but uses an eye rake to escape…Smiley leaps down and locks on the Norman Conquest for the win…What a weird little match that was, in a good way…

 

• More Eric Bischoff outro interview bullshit…Would you believe that Tony S. is kayfabe suckered in by Bischoff’s whole contriteness act?...Poor Tony S. was the dumbest bastard to ever sit at a commentary table in late ‘90s WCW…

 

• Chris Jericho and Ralphus come out onto the ramp, point at one another, and shake hands…I don’t know why it’s so funny to me, but man, it got a huge laugh…Jericho/Saturn seems like it could be good…They have a nice opening with a number of counters and a lovely short-arm clothesline from Jericho…Jericho celebrates, which pisses Saturn off…Saturn hits Jericho with a torrent of offense while Jericho screams HELP ME…Jericho struggles to keep control…He’s able to duck a Saturn diving lariat that nails Charles Robinson instead…Saturn locks on a Rings of Saturn, but is diverted by a Ernest Miller run in…Saturn handles both guys for awhile, but eventually eats a Feliner…Jericho locks on a Lion Tamer just in time for Charles Robinson to come to, check on an out-cold Saturn, and lift the arm three times…Jericho wins…Though with that bloody eye he’s got, he doesn’t exactly look like a winner…

 

• Finally, after one more Bischoff outro, we get Tony S. in the ring to introduce the Flair brood…Well, three-fifths of the Flair brood…Conrad’s spouse and the former WWE Women’s Champion in the family aren’t here…They walk down the ramp and, uh, the segment ends?...

 

• After a break, Thunder resumes with Tony back at the desk to introduce a video package of all the Hitman/Giant/Page stuff from the past few weeks…Maybe these long recaps would be more appropriate for WCWSN or Worldwide, perhaps?...

 

• They paid Michael Buffer to ring announce for this Scott Hall/Lex Luger match?...Bischoff always complains about getting his budget cut in 1998…Maybe he contracted Buffer for [x] amount of appearances before the budget cut, because otherwise, uh, maybe spend that money elsewhere…This isn’t even much of a match…Disco Inferno comes out to cheer Luger on before he locks up…Hall takes over with a headlock, but now here come Scott Steiner and Buff Bagwell…Hall locks on a surfboard…Luger makes a comeback shortly after this and hits the metal forearm…He signals for the Torture Rack, but Scotty and Buff jump in and stomp out Hall…Konnan runs down, apparently just now revived, and tells Luger that Scotty and Buff were the ones who hit him…Konnan and Luger clear the ring, even though some B-Teamers make a half-attempt at turning the tide…That was not a good match for either aesthetic or angle purposes to say the least…

 

• Tony S. brings David and Reid Flair into the ring to ask about their pops…Here comes Eric Bischoff…Bisch does a whole apology thing before finally fucking swerving and insulting Ric…Then, as is his function in life, David gets beaten up to act as motivation for Ric…Crush comes down and grabs Reid while Barry Windham stomps out David…This angle suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucks…Keep Flair’s family at home, please…I know you won’t, WCW, but I ask you anyway…Bisch forcibly kisses Beth and WOOOOs to cap what was a pointless and shitty waste of a main event angle.

 

• I enjoyed some of the wrestling, but the angles are so bad, folks, so awful that I’m just going to give this Thunder a grade that it’ll almost surely see a lot of going forward…OWWW…

[SirSmUgly]

Show #171 – 21 December 1998

“The one that packs the TWA Dome in the run-up to Starrcade 1998”

• We get a recap to start the show, but it’s a recap of the whole nWo forming. Wait, no, it’s a recap of Eric Bischoff’s heel turn, which was sparked by Nash powerbombing him through the stage at the Great American Bash in 1996. This is meant to hype Bischoff as an evil heel, but it just reminds me of better days. Well, except for this shitty RANDY ANDERSON NEEDS TO FEED HIS FAM’LY stuff from early 1997. And, uh, some of the less good stuff from 1998. And, um, some of the outright bad stuff from 1998. It’s objectively a good package to remind us of Bischoff’s heelery, but it’s filled with a bunch of crap that Bischoff booked for himself past about 1996. Much like Austin should have Stone Cold Stunned Vince off TV by late 1999, Bischoff needed to get taken off TV going forward after losing this Flair feud.

 

• The Nitro Girls dance while the desk talks about Bischoff/Flair. It’s wild to me that Bischoff/Flair is the featured feud for Starrcade considering all the promotion and video packages and story beats. A Goldberg feud is once again not getting enough burn on television. And then it ends with a taser shot. Speaking of Goldberg, they finally mention him and note that he’ll wrestle Scott Hall in the main event tonight. The taser shot actually makes logical sense since Scott Hall is trying to ingratiate himself with Kevin Nash and win Nash's friendship again, mind you. But man, in the context of Goldberg’s title reign, it’s a bummer that it ends this way.

 

• Fit Finlay wrestles Scott Putski in the opener. When Finlay came out to the ring, I was hoping for Finlay/Enos II, but no luck. At the risk of repeating myself, ‘90s Finlay is only as good as his competition, and even then, he might not put together something too great. That surprisingly poor match he had against Chris Benoit at Slamboree earlier in 1998 at a time when Chris Benoit was otherwise only having excellent matches is a perfect example of this point. I note this to basically indicate that this is a below-average opener, though St. Louis has packed the TWA dome and is loud as hell for it.

 

• They’re way louder than they were in the Kiel Center for the Deadly Games tournament, to tell you the truth. After lots of dull limb work from Finlay (though I do like that he transitions into a Stretch Muffler for a few seconds at one point) and some boilerplate fiery babyface offense from Putski – and also a commercial break, like did this match need to be this long? – Finlay wins with the Tombstone after ducking a Polish Hammer. I cannot believe that this stupid company got credit for having hot cruiserweight matches to get the crowd primed for the rest of the show. Fuck off, WCW, just in general for giving me a ten-minute Scott Putski match to start this show. This crowd is hot, though. They at least made this match seem like something to get excited about for the casual viewer flipping channels.

 

• It’s another Flair/Bischoff recap! OK, so two shows from the end of 1998, I’m slowly updating my lists, which I plan to have done before I march boldly into 1999 (and the Fingerpoke of FUCKING Doom). I’ve got a Best Feuds section and a Worst Feuds section. Spoiler alert: Flair/Bischoff is listed in one of those lists! Also a spoiler: Raven shows up multiple times in one of those sections.

 

• Ernest Miller comes to the ring by himself. The screen cap unfortunately spoiled what’s going to happen in his segment. It’s a minor spoiler, but this segment will include a wrestling staple that I love: Wrestlers dressing up in costumes so they can sneak attack other wrestlers. Hacksaw Duggan in the gorilla suit is of course the finest example of this wrestling-based trope. Miller runs down the crowd, insults a hefty dude in a way that is so mean it gets me to laugh (“How’d you get your big ass here, anyway?!”), and then blows a kiss at the crowd and says, “I love you people too, and a Merry Christmas” as they boo vociferously. This is like the crudest form of heeling, but the Cat did have me chuckling, I am somewhat ashamed to admit.

 

• Then, the Cat spots Santa Claus walking down the aisle and tossing candy into the crowd! Is that the REAL Santa Claus? No, it’s Saturn in a Santa suit. Miller wants some candy for himself, so Santa Saturn fires a lump of coal at him. I am genuinely enjoying the hell out of this stupid segment. The Cat calls Santa ugly and then says, SOMEBODY CALL MY MAMA, I’M ABOUT TO WHOOP THE HELL OUTTA BIG FAT SANTA CLAUS. Santa then proceeds to suplex the Cat around the ring. Saturn rips off his suit while Miller retreats, and honestly, the makeup was pretty good, especially the wrinkles, and I appreciate that Saturn went so far as to strap a pillow to his chest for padding. I unironically loved everything about this segment.

 

• For some reason, here is where they show the Monday Nitro opening title.

 

• It’s Chavo Guerrero Jr.! YES! Chavo, who absolutely fucking rules, is wearing a dope HEEEEEERE’S CHAVO t-shirt with a graphic where Chavo’s pulling a Jack Torrance in The Shining. I want that t-shirt. I hope someone online is doing prints of those t-shirts. His opponent is Kaz Hayashi, who got a jobber entrance – NO! – and who is heeling tonight because he grabs Pepe and tosses him carelessly. This is the match that should have opened the show, and no, I’m not going to let that go! Chavo uses his size advantage to win shoulderblocks and bully Kaz a bit, but Kaz drills a kneelift to get some room for a bit. That doesn’t last long; Chavo lands a back suplex. They counter one another in the corner, fight over a top rope move, and when Kaz finally fights off Chavo’s attempts to knock him down from the top, he dives. Unfortunately for him, he dives right into a dropkick and gets Tornado DDT’d for three shortly after. This match was like two minutes, but Scott FUCKING Putski got ten?!

 

• NO, I WON’T LET THIS GO

 

• Bam Bam Bigelow goes on a rampage on Nitro last week, which we see once again through the magic of video.

 

• So, who ends up in the newly-reconstituted nWo in January of ‘99, which as far as I can tell/remember keeps the Wolfpac name and the black-and-red theming, but adds Hulk Hogan and a bunch of B-Teamers? Also, did Hogan recognize that the Wolfpac was the cool and trendy one and insist on being in that group, so that’s why they kept the Wolfpac name and colors? Anyway, Nash has seemed awfully disconnected from what his Wolfpac partners Konnan and Luger are doing, which might be pretty good foreshadowing for what happens if Konnan and Luger end up on the outside looking in. I hesitate to give this booking committee credit for successful foreshadowing, though.

 

• Oh, Nash cuts a promo here, and it’s decent. He says that the last time he was world champ, he held the title for a year and defended it 197 times without a loss. Well, no, there was a loss in there at Survivor Series 1995, but I get his point. Then, he says that Goldberg’s obligations as champ might just have him unfocused and that he’s done everything Goldberg has done in his career except for beating Goldberg. Which is something Goldberg can’t do, like physically it’s impossible, but I get his point. Then he steals a Ric Flair catchphrase. See, that’s foreshadowing right there – it’s a total Hogan thing to steal someone else's catchphrase.

 

• The Nitro Girls do a routine and hey, do I see Sharmell? I do! Tony S. says her Nitro Girl name is Storm, but my first instinct about her WCW name was that it was Paisley, so I’ve got my WCW Nitro memories crossed or something. Anyway, I love Sharmell, so I’m glad she’s on this show in pretty much any capacity.

 

• Raven and Kanyon come onto the ramp so that Gene Okerlund can badger Raven about Raven’s mom. Raven is fucking HILARIOUS in this promo. First, he tells Gene that it’s none of Gene’s business what he’s doing in his spare time when Gene asks him about seeing a therapist. Then, as Gene tries to argue that Raven’s mom is a decent person and generous philanthropist, Raven blames Judy Bagwell for giving his mom ideas about using WCW to increase her Q rating. He hits this gem of a line, holy shit: “Gene, the only reason my mom showed up was she saw Judy Bagwell on TV and figured it was her opportunity to be on television. I guess she figures that if Judy Bagwell is one half of the tag champions, maybe she can spear Goldberg and become the World Champion.” I’M FUCKING DEAD, END THIS SHOW, CANCEL NITRO IMMEDIATELY AND GO OUT ON A HIGH NOTE

 

• I mean, I ran that line back a couple times to write it exactly as Raven said it, but also I ran it back because his delivery takes it the rest of the way from “very funny line” territory into “completely hilarious” territory. And wait, is Judy Bagwell one half of the tag champs, or is it Kenny Kaos?! Raven shading the tag titles storyline as a secondary objective to getting this angle over is fantastic. They really botched this Raven run. 1998 Raven had mega-heat every time he showed up. I get that they wanted to heavily push Goldberg, but if they’d just let Goldberg keep killing guys until he got the World title without the need to give him the U.S. title first, it would have been way better. Raven holding the U.S. title until Starrcade with help from the Flock would have been amazing, and you would absolutely make whoever finally beat him for it. You could still peel guys off from the Flock if you really can't wait and absolutely need to turn Billy Kidman babyface right now for some inexplicable reason. Just have Raven pick a couple other guys as replacements. I’m tempted to say that ’97-‘98 Raven could have been the World Champ if you booked him right, at least for a short-term deal. He's one of the few guys in this company who can talk, and they’re insisting on having more talking segments, so at the very least, they should have protected him better.

 

• Alas, this show continues. Kanyon tries to be snarky, but Raven immediately drills him in the face. Raven’s mom runs out screaming SCOTTY, YOU DON’T HIT YOUR FRIENDS, which honestly also made me laugh. Ma wants Scotty to see the doctor, but little Scotty’s all grown up, ma! He doesn’t have to do anything he doesn’t want to do! I love Raven figuring out how to unify a semi-consistent backstory for all of his characters, by the way. If you were so inclined to watch 1992 WCW and saw a Scotty Flamingo match, then watch a 1998 WCW Raven match, it would actually make sense how that was the same guy. I cannot overstate my love for Raven, and I have to say that it’s re-watching this run in WCW, a place that restricted him more than ECW did and that he still got way over in while doing awesome work, that has vaulted him up my list of all-time favorite wrestlers.

 

• From extreme highs to extreme lows: Eric Bischoff comes to the ring and talks. It’s a bad heel promo about Ric Flair. I’ll update you if anything of note is said. Oops, nothing of note is said by Bischoff, but here come the Horsemen – sans Mongo – marching into the arena to fuck Bischoff’s world up. On their way to the ring, they commence to giving Scott Norton a gang beatdown. Flair leaves the rest of the Horsemen behind to go find Bischoff. At least during this shitty promo, we got video of the Horsemen doing cool shit so that I wasn’t left having to endure a Bischoff promo with no enjoyable distractions. Flair runs out and chases Bischoff out of the ring and the building. The crowd is hyped as hell. They cheer wildly when Flair shows up, start a WE WANT FLAIR CHANT after he chases Bisch away, and then pop huge when he shows back up. Bischoff would indicate that these cheers mean that he was a great heel, I’m sure. Flair cuts an unhinged I WILL MURDER YOU BISCHOFF promo that is short and sweet, then leaves again.

 

• Hour number two starts with a big-ass recap for how the Giant and DDP started beefing.

 

• Lizmark Jr. has a cool funk intro. He comes to the ring to get squashed by Wrath, who is right back to squashing nobodies after losing a competitive match to Kevin Nash. Well, Wrath has lost on television now, so I’m not sure that having him kill nobodies again is his best use. Maybe give him an angle or, if you’re going to still push him pretty strong, give him the TV title and have him defend against other midcarders? Konnan is the epitome of a guy who doesn’t need a belt, but Wrath probably could use it! Alas, Wrath just steamrolls Lizmark in a perfectly cromulent squash match.

 

• We’re getting another Eddy Guerrero/Rey Misterio Jr. in this endless lWo angle. This angle sucks so bad that it even ruined Eddy/Rey matchups. They start out working a pacey match, and I was going to say that I didn’t care until Eddy ripped Rey off the apron and right into the rail. This is heated as fuck, actually. Tony S. does an incredibly good job putting over Eddy’s heelish point of view about why he's so heated at Rey while also noting that he doesn’t agree with it. Strangely for this show and how it treats angles, Tony and Larry Z. have both made excellent points about the characterization of these wrestlers in the past couple of weeks. Commentary goes on to have a compelling(!) discussion about the nature of pro wrestling and how ideally in the sport, individuals face one another and stand on their own two feet, but in not-so-ideal modern WCW, running without a group is fatal to your health. Meanwhile, Eddy tries to twist Rey’s spine into a pretzel. See, this is what drives me insane. When all this talent in the ring and on commentary aligns, you get these glimmers of how awesome WCW could be even now if it tried. When they let Tony S. talk about the motivations of the wrestlers instead of trying to sell a big angle that has nothing to do with what's going on in front of him and which has been sold all night to the point of irritation, it’s almost like Tony is actually really fucking good at his job!

 

• Eddy rips at the mask and, gee, Tony and Mike Tenay both get over that act as the grave insult that it is. Huh, maybe Bischoff should tell them to call what’s in front of them more often. Eddy is just an excellent bully, and this is the first match they’ve had against one another that has felt meaningful since this lWo angle started. Eddy tries to destroy Rey’s knee with some gross twisty legbars and stuff. Eddy locks on an STF as we go to break. We come back to a couple of roll-through two counts off an inverted crucifix by Eddy. Eddy tries a Frog Splash and rolls through it, then lariats Rey when he sees Rey start to roll away. Rey finally makes a comeback, hits a dive with absurd hangtime, but splats himself on a springboard rana attempt.

 

• Eddy wants to win rather than punish at this point, as you could tell from the fact that he tried a Frog Splash earlier, so he snapmares Rey and floats over into a cover while hooking Rey’s injured leg with his own leg. That was a COOL flash-ish sort of pinfall attempt. Rey kicks out and eventually hits a diving headscissors that sends Eddy to the floor, then a baseball slide into a headscissors. These fellas are busting out all sorts of MOVEZ~, but not as an exhibition. They’re doing MOVEZ~ as part of a heated match. Eddy gets control, murders Rey with a powerbomb into a cover, and only gets 2.9. This is an insanely awesome match; I can’t state this enough. They trade 2.9s and then, aw man, there’s a ref bump. That’s too bad because this match deserves a clean finish. Eddy tries to dropkick Rey with Spyder’s help, but Rey ducks it and hits a springboard face crusher. Kidman runs out and asks Rey to bring Eddy over for a punch, but Eddy ducks and Kidman hits Rey; Eddy quickly schoolboys Rey and gets a quick three from a revived Charles Robinson.

 

• OK, I loved the match except for the bullshit ending, which it feels like every big Nitro match has, but more than that, this is the match (minus the screwy ending) that Rey and Eddy should be having at Starrcade. To burn it off here so that you can run it again as a Triple Threat so that you can wedge Kidman in there  is so dumb. Kidman can be champ, fine. Let him defend against someone else because he’s an unnecessary add-on in this Eddy/Rey/lWo angle. You have tonight's Eddy/Rey match be a) at Starrcade and b) for Rey’s lWo membership and c) let Rey win it without screwy bullshit and boom, you’ve made Starrcade a billion times better.

 

• Hey, a Goldberg hype video. I almost forgot that guy existed, and he’s the fucking mega-over champ!

 

• Scott Steiner comes out, propositions the hoochies women of Kansas City, and then has Buff Bagwell come dressed out as Mark McGwire so that Scotty can insult McGwire. Man, this sucks. This Nitro has had some cool shit on it, to the point that it’s going to get a pretty good score, but – wait, hold the fuck on, Buff takes some "'roids" and says that he can’t perform without them. In a pro wrestling ring. With Scott Steiner also standing there in it. I don’t think they’re being ironic at all, so that makes this dumb and tone deaf instead of funny in the absurd. They burn a Cardinals cap and jersey. I didn’t realize how bad Scott Steiner sucked as a singles talent for like the first year after he turned heel.

 

• As I was saying before I was thrown off by the blatant hypocrisy of that previous sketch, this Nitro has had some cool shit on it, like say Norman Smiley walking out asking fans in the crowd WHO’S YOUR DADDY? – he must be a heel tonight – but it’s been interspersed with some terrible garbage. I like an inconsistent Nitro more than a boilerplate dull one, though. Prince Iaukea comes out here and goes right at Smiley. Smiley does the Big Wiggle after killing an Iaukea flash pinfall attempt to a pop. Whoops, he’s supposed to be the heel! This is a quick little deal that Smiley wins by reversing an Irish Whip into a Norman Conquest for the tap-out victory. It was light and breezy, and I enjoyed it well enough.

 

• I will say that as we hit the hour number three fireworks, this is the breeziest Nitro that I’ve watched in quite a while.

 

• Van Hammer had no luck against Scott Steiner in his most recent major TV show appearance. He only has slightly better luck against Barry Windham on this show, but that’s only because Ric Flair runs down about a minute in while Windham is beating up Hammer so that Flair can beat up Windham. This sort of savage beating that Windham's eating is what messing with David Flair, Plot Device gets you. Flair is extremely fiery and the crowd is into this, so it’s a pretty dang good extended beatdown!

 

• At one point, Flair just throws alternating lefts and rights into Windham’s dick. Like, that’s how you know it’s a good beatdown. Eventually, Vincent runs out, but so does Arn, and Arn stomps a mudhole in Vincent. Next up, Crush and Horace Hogan walk down, but they get jumped by Benoit and Malenko. Heenan notes that maybe this sort of violent gang beatdown is something that someone in WCW should have done to the nWo a long time ago. **niccageyoudon’tsay.jpg**

 

• The brawl spills outside the arena and Dellinger and his Keystone Kops cuff Benoit and Malenko. Tony S. is like What the fuck, man, they didn’t come out and cuff the nWo after they attacked David Flair. **niccageyoudon’tsay.jpg**

 

• Back in the ring, Flair cuts an emotional promo that is also very, very good. Essentially, he yells at Bischoff for trying to “shitcan” his career, but failing because the crowd loves him, and then turning to try and hurt his family. It’s an intense promo, and has this awesome line: “I gave in, I came back, not cause of you, but because my little boy, ten years old, walked up to me and said, ‘Dad, why don’t you just beat the hell out of Bischoff and get back in the ring?’” I mean, that’s a cold fucking line. It actually has a few lines that are almost as awesome as that one. Flair is so enraged that he has tears in his eyes as he cuts this promo about Bischoff abusing his family that is legitimately great. It’s so great that I feel like people should talk about it more. Anyway, Bischoff comes out to taunt Flair and then gets the Keystone Kops to arrest the babyface, as is a WCW booking staple. Bischoff is annoying in a channel-changing way, but Flair yelling, I’LL KILL YOU, I SWEAR TO GOD, I’LL KILL YOU at least lends some credibility to Bisch’s shitty heeling. That was a tour de force performance on Flair’s part, sweet fuck.

 

• As Booker T. walks to the ring to face Jerry Flynn, I think we should restrict the ability to cut promos to like three wrestlers in this company. Flair, Arn, and Raven can cut promos. Everyone else, shut the fuck up and wrestle. Maybe we let Ernest Miller insult the crowd every once in a while, too. I’m willing to make other exceptions as necessary. Actually, Nash and Hall should also be on that promo list. I don’t know, it should probably be a slightly longer list, but not that much longer. I digress. The match in the ring is perfectly cromulent, worked in a quite pacey manner, especially for such big dudes. We get Booker hitting an axe kick, a back suplex, a Spinaroonie, and a missile dropkick in short order to get the win.

 

• One-half of the World Tag Team Champions (?!?!?) Kenny Kaos faces Lex Luger. I contemplate a dumb angle where someone in WCW management fucks the paperwork up and accidentally lists Kenny Kaos and Judy Bagwell as the tag champs because of their confusion about the whole tag belts angle. Rick Steiner has to give his tag title up so those two can defend them. Jimmy Hart could compose a knockoff of the Odd Couple theme and everything. This match is a bog standard babyface Luger TV match with the bonus that Robbie Rage yells at Kenny Kaos before Luger racks Kaos. Post-match, Rage and Kaos have another off-mic argument in which Rage says YOU NEED TO CHECK YOURSELF BEFORE YOU WRECK YOURSELF. Rage, don’t make me tap the sign. **taps “Only about five dudes and maybe Ernest Miller can talk, and you ain’t one of them” sign**

 

• Konnan is next up. Actually, Konnan should be on that list of guys who can talk because when he feels like it, he can cut a heck of a promo, and when he doesn’t, people at least love his catchphrase roulette. It is a bummer that, unlike a hack like Road Dogg who only has the catchphrase roulette as a way to stay over, Konnan is actually a solid talker. OK, yeah, Konnan’s on the list of guys who can talk. Konnan and his buddy Disco Inferno. Speaking of, here comes Disco Inferno right now! Disco tries to warn Konnan about Alex Wright’s mental state, but Konnan just wants Disco to take off that damned Wolfpac shirt. Disco says that he’s going to go find Nash somewhere in the back so Nash can let Konnan in on the fact that he let Disco into the Wolfpac. He passes his sometimes-partner in the Boogie Knights Alex Wright as he leaves. Wright hasn’t been on TV much lately, which is the sign of someone who should get a TV title shot here in WCW. Of course, there’s always the possibility that he’s won his last forty matches on the syndicated shows!

 

• Again, I should probably focus on the match, which has an oddly entrancing series of flash pinfall attempts and counters to start. Wright eats a couple of arm drags and takes a walk as we go to commercial break. Back from break, Wright is choking Konnan with his own chain. That’s a heck of a turnaround over a single commercial break! Wright does some fairly shitty mat work. You put two slightly awkward athletes like these two into a match, you’re going to get some ungainly looking work. Konnan returns the favor with some bad mat work and we get a faint boring chant. This crowd has been hot for everything, so imagine how crappy this work is that we’re getting a hint of restlessness from them. The crowd pops when Konnan locks on the Tequila Sunrise. Whether it’s because the match is mercifully over or because they got to see Konnan win, who knows. Wright gets up and throws a tantrum before leaving ringside. He also tries to hit Scott Dickinson with a chair. Meh, Dickinson deserves it. Konnan is watching Wright fall apart emotionally and doesn’t see Chris Jericho run in, grab the TV title and swing it at his head. Jericho hits Konnan with a belt-assisted Lionsault and wimpy pins him, then yells ARRIBA LOS JERICHO. I had wondered when Jericho would make his appearance. Jericho leaves with Konnan’s belt.

 

• Here comes Disco Inferno again. He’s got too much on his mind to dance. He wants to prove that he’s got what it takes to be in the Wolfpac by fighting a Hollywood member: “Send Vincent out here, send Horace, hell, send Bagwell out here, he ain’t worked in eight months!” Heh. Well, here’s the thing, Disco does get a Hollywood member to answer the call, but it’s the Giant. OK, there’s one correct way to book this match, and I hope Sullivan and Nash do the right thing.

 

• Nope, this was incorrectly booked. The Giant cleanly wins with a super Chokeslam instead of DDP running down and hitting a Diamond Cutter behind the ref’s back so that Disco could win and have a technical, but ultimately bullshit, claim to having earned his stripes. This was the one match of the night that called for a screwy finish, so of course WCW creative didn't book a screwy finish. Then, after the match, the Giant cuts a shitty promo. Don’t make me tap the fucking sign, stupid.  After that, Page comes into the crowd and yells HEY, HEY, FAT HEAD before cutting a shitty response promo. I said DON’T MAKE ME TAP THE FUCKING SIGN, STUPID.

 

• Michael Buffer is here to announce the competitors to the ring in tonight’s main event. Scott Hall and Goldberg make their way out here seven minutes before the show ends. Someone has a HAPPY HANUKKAH, GOLDBERG sign. Aw, that’s nice. The crowd hits a mega-pop at the sight of Goldberg. We only get through thirty seconds of Goldberg handily winning the opening feeling-out part of the match before Kevin Nash walks down to observe. Goldberg responds by blocking a Hall body slam and hitting one of his own, then yelling THAT’S FOR YOU, BOY at Nash. Goldberg rules, man, he’s so intense. He’s just so believable. Hall manages a fallaway slam that Goldberg ignores. Goldberg hits a spear, so Nash grabs Hall and drags him to safety as Bam Bam Bigelow hits the ring and attacks Goldberg. They brawl as the show ends.

 

• Sure there were some parts that were suboptimal, but that was a genuinely fun go-home Nitro. I never would have predicted it. I’ll be damned. 4 out of 5 Stinger Splashes.

[zendragon]

Am I miss remembering or did WCW do Flair heart attack angle back in 92 as well?

Also cool how Norman Smiley goes from jobber to getting a bit of a push by just getting himself and his dancing over

[SirSmUgly]

Starrcade ’98 notes:

• I can scarcely believe that I’ve nearly made it through another full year of WCW television. I can see a light at the end of this tunnel. Oops, the light is blocked now. Hey, wait, is that a train called 1999 WCW coming toward me?

 

• Are you ready for some pro wrestling? Or instead, are you ready for Bret Hart, Scott Steiner, and Chris Jericho shilling a live QVC show for later in the week? I sure hope you answered that second one.

 

• I forgot to mention that the desk has reported that the Four Horsemen are banned from the arena aside from Ric Flair. Gene Okerlund and Bob Ryder have some further SCOOPZ~ if you ae so inclined to shell out some cash.

 

• *shhh* Hush, everyone. We’ve caught a sight of a truly rare beast – a hot opening Cruiserweight match on a WCW show! No, no, hold your voice down. You might scare it away if we’re not careful. Rey Misterio Jr. gets his own entrance theme tonight as he prepares to face Juvi Guerrera and Billy Kidman. Juvi is a dick to the babyfaces, so Kidman goes over to Rey and is like, Let’s fuck this dude up. They proceed to fuck Juvi up, until the point at which Rey mistimes a forearm and he and Kidman throw blows. That loudmouth Juvi gets right in front of them and cheers them on, so they punch him. Heh, that was a pretty good spot!

 

• Otherwise, I am not inclined to call this sometimes wild series of spots. Some cool stuff happens, but I’ll save my words for only the coolest of stuff. Some of these spots are contrived, but I’ll do my best to ignore those. Juvi is really funny tonight; he is able to counter an exchange by double bulldogging his opponents, then wearily crawls over to the corner and speaks to the camera: “[in pain, sucking in some air] Whooooo [catches breath, winks]. Don’t worry, I got this. I got it.” I think I’m rooting for Juvi now? I really am a boilerplate normie American pro wrestling fan. The guy with enough charisma to make me laugh is the one whom I want to win.

 

• They work this match in a way that there’s not too much laying around for one person while the other two have a one-on-one match. It’s better structured like the early ECW triple threats where it’s worked like a perpetually shifting handicap match. I do wonder why they don’t have more elimination triple threats, which the early ECW ones did IIRC. That’s a better structure for this type of match than a straight first-pinfall-takes-all structure. Triple threats aren’t my favorite match type, to say the least, but this is a good one of those types of match.

 

• The crowd digs the athletic high spots, contrived-looking or not. They don’t cheer wildly, but there are a lot of OHHHHs and even a couple of OOH-WAHHHs. Then, here comes Eddy Guerrero. No, please, can we get a clean fucking finish, please? Pretty please? Charles Robinson leaves the ring to remonstrate with Eddy and misses a Kidman pinfall attempt on Juvi. Eddy takes off, slides into the ring, and reverses the pinning leverage with a lariat. Rey runs in and reverses that with a missile dropkick, then sells his knee being injured due to the dropkick, which allows Kidman to win. I can’t express to you how much that finish sucked. Terrible.

 

• After the match, Eddy verbally abuses Rey and Juvi alike. Juvi tries to remonstrate with Eddy, but Eddy shoves him down. Why do they always make Juvi look like a punk-ass bitch in these angles? Eddy challenges Kidman to a title match, and Kidman comes back out to the ring and says they can have one right now. Eddy begs off because he’s not in his gear, but Kidman’s like, You’re talking so big, fight me right now, you bum. But I wrote it better than he said it. So here we go, we have match number two of the night.

 

• Eddy jumps on Kidman and tries to kill him off quickly. Juvi and Rey are still at ringside, and Juvi tries to help Eddy get leverage on an abdominal stretch, but Rey puts a stop to that. Eddy gets distracted by Rey being so unhelpful to him that he goes outside and confronts him, then barks at Juvi some more. In the ring, Kidman makes a comeback and is only stopped when Juvi distracts him and Eddy hits a chop block.

 

• Eddy takes back over and commences on a methodical beatdown. Kidman makes one more comeback with a bulldog counter. He tries a sleeper, but Eddy jawbreakers his way out of it immediately. Eddy unties his boot so that he can slip it off after a Kidman flurry and clock Kidman with it as Kidman charges in. He pretends that it accidentally came off, calls for a time out to put it back on, and fires it at a protesting Rey. That takes a lot of time, so by the time he finally covers, he only gets two. Eddy hits a brainbuster, but gets caught going up for a Frog Splash and can’t fight off a Kidman superplex. Kidman can’t do much to follow up and ends up in a leg bar near the ropes, but Rey uses that boot that Eddy fired at him to swing at Eddy and break the hold.

 

• I’m somewhat impressed that Eddy’s working this match in jeans and a single boot and still doing athletic spots. Kidman counters an Eddy powerbomb attempt – of course – and comes back yet again. Heenan is generous enough to compare Kidman’s determination to keep fighting to DDP’s. A Kidman guillotine legdrop gets two, but Eddy blocks a top-rope Frankensteiner. Spyder runs out and distracts the ref as Kidman pushes Eddy away from a superplex attempt so that Juvi can crotch Kidman. That’s good for Eddy! What’s bad for Eddy is that Rey shoves Eddy off the ropes when Eddy tries to follow up, and Kidman lands an SSP for the win. I suppose I can’t complain about them putting a new babyface over so strongly even if it is bland-ass Kidman, but man, this lWo angle is a total drag, and it’s dragging down these Cruiserweight title matches.

 

• You don’t need to play a hype video for Kevin Nash versus Goldberg right now. We’re already hyped! We purchased the PPV!

 

• Norman Smiley on Starrcade. Ah, the world just feels right sometimes, doesn’t it? He faces Prince Iaukea again in a filler match that is acceptable. The fans love the hell out of the Big Wiggle, though. Tony S., in a low voice after seeing the Big Wiggle: “That’s kind of obscene, really.” I mean, while he does that dance, Smiley hits his O-face (not Athena’s diving stunner, an actual O-face), so yeah, it is kind of obscene. The crowd digs this guy because he’s charismatic as fuck and does a lot of dancing, some of it admittedly obscene. Smiley does some more mat stuff, but people want to see the Wiggle and Smiley’s creepy O-face, dammit! The late ‘90s and pre-9/11 early aughts really had the right idea about hitting the nexus between “dumb” and “fun.” The story of this match is that Norman dominates, but he’s too busy smacking that imaginary ass to just stay in control and beat Iaukea, so Iaukea makes comebacks on the regular. Iaukea blocks a Norman Conquest attempt once, but not the second time, and Smiley is able to lock his fingers and score a tap-out victory.

 

• This is such a weird show! It’s the grand finale for the year’s storylines, but we are an hour through and have had three matches, one including Norman Smiley working a filler ten-minute match, and we end that first hour of the show on Scott Hall coming down and talking to the crowd about the poor choices that he’s made in 1998, both shoot and work. He’s also notably wearing an Outsiders t-shirt. Hmm… Hall cuts a wandering promo in which he promises to do better in 1999. If only!

 

• I’m baffled by the fact that we’re getting Nitro-style feud recaps on this PPV. Now we get a Nash/Bam Bam/Goldberg package that’s played on free television. I just don’t get the point of this except as a time filler. Which, come to think of it, we need for a nearly three-hour show that has so few matches promoted for it.

 

• Ernest Miller (w/Sonny Onoo) challenges a fan to a fight on his way to the ring. Said fan is a woman who looks to be over sixty. I acknowledge that this is boilerplate heeling, but Miller clearly has some charisma that he’s trying to unlock in whatever way he can. There are pro-Cat signs in the crowd, and when he says he’s the greatest, a few scattered cheers break through the boos. Saturn comes down, refuses to leave when the Cat gives him a five count, and in fact takes that five seconds to wind up a punch. Saturn drills the Cat, who makes to leave himself. Saturn turns to talk to Mickey Jay, and Miller runs back and slides into the ring to attack…but Saturn turns around as Miller slides right up to Saturn’s boots and then freezes with an AW, SHIT look on his face. The crowd laughs because it was a really funny spot! Miller tries every heel trick he can think of and pretty much eats boots and fists for them until he can get an eye poke in and start choking his opponent.

 

• Miller isn’t, like, the greatest (ha!) wrestler or anything, but I remembered him having a lot of use in late-era WCW as a midcard talent and authority figure, and this match is strangely sort of his coming out party in that regard. This is a classic heel performance in which the heel is quite unserious, but still dangerous: Lots of stalling, lots of cheating, lots of misdirection, and the occasional spot that shows that he actually does have a little bit of moxie, as when he steps back on a Saturn double-axe attempt and lands a side kick. Saturn basically dominates, but the Cat gets a little control and, rather than pressing his advantage properly, calls Onoo into the ring to kick Saturn. Miller holds Saturn, but not securely enough. Saturn moves, Onoo kicks Saturn, Miller kicks Onoo, and Saturn DVDs Miller for the victory. I’m going to plant this sucker squarely on the Charming Uniquity list.

 

• Ric Flair hits the aisle to chat with Gene Okerlund. Flair basically issues some somewhat graphic threats of violence toward Eric Bischoff.

 

• That Bischoff video from the start of the previous Nitro plays again. Weird show, like I said. It doesn’t feel like a Starrcade.

 

• Scott Steiner and Buff Bagwell bust in on Konnan back in the locker room and threaten him. Lex Luger comes in wearing a fucking FUBU baseball jersey, hahahahaha, and tries to calm Konnan down. That is the first and last time that we see Lex Luger, Scott Steiner, or Buff Bagwell on this show, by the way. 

 

• Crush and Scott Norton (w/Vincent) face, um, hold up, Finlay and Jerry Flynn? In a tag match? What the actual fuck?! Jerry Flynn got onto a Starrcade? I am baffled. How did the booking committee manage to book this show, with all the talent they have, like this? You can’t give me that Oh well, Bret and Rick Steiner got injured and Sting and Savage are out stuff. They have a deep well of talent. The match is fine, but it’s a fucking Thunder match on Starrcade. And why is Bret still the U.S. Champion? That’s a title match that we’re not having on this show for no discernible reason other than that the bookers just needed to shepherd the belt back onto an injured wrestler who can't work a match. This tag match involves Crush, so obviously, I’m not going to give you a whole detailed recap. Suffice it to say that Scott Norton pins Jerry Flynn with the powerbomb. “Rockhouse” plays as Scott Norton, Crush, and Vincent stand in the ring. In other news, “Rockhouse” is an anti-hype theme now.

 

• There are only seventy minutes left in this show somehow. They play Eric Bischoff’s music, and I think, alright, sure, let’s have this match. But no, Gene Okerlund is just going to interview him. Can you believe that they let Bischoff stay in charge of creative for nine more months? He cuts a bad promo that just eats up time. He also gets to mention the Clintons since we’re in D.C., which he thinks is the equivalent of a clever political reference because he’s kind of a dolt. Bischoff is a great salesperson, but he’s all artifice. He managed quite the career out of it, though! Bischoff cuts a promo that is basically that one Grantland article about how broke Flair actually is IRL. It finally, mercifully ends.

 

• We get a short reminder of Jericho acting like a dick toward Konnan through the magic of video before Jericho (w/Ralphus, Konnan’s TV Championship belt) comes to the ring to try and win the gold for real and for true. Jericho does some mic work to burn off time. He proclaims not to understand Konnan’s catchphrase roulette, which makes sense because he’s some dork from Manitoba who listens to Cheap fucking Trick like a complete cornball. Just as a true future Florida man would, he also tells Konnan to pull up his pants. I see Jericho’s getting a head start on cutting “dirty, disgusting, filthy, etc., etc., trashbag ho” style promos, and let me be the first to say NO THANK YOU.

 

• Then again, Konnan comes down and hits his Catchphrase Roulette, and it does suck. Konnan tries to run with Jericho to start, and I think that maybe they should both slow it down because they’re not exactly what I would call elite athletes. They do after a couple of minutes. We get a Jericho headlock. This match really comes off like a Nitro match more than anything. They try a little bit; Jericho eats some stairs that he set up for a move, for example. But the match goes by oddly quickly for a show with so much filler. Konnan blocks a Jericho Walls attempt, but he doesn’t duck a belt shot that only gets 2.9. That's about it for Jericho's chances; Konnan lands a back kick, a sit-out facebuster, and a Tequila Sunrise in short order for the win in a match that I can report did, in fact, happen.

 

• Lee Marshall interviews, and partially bigs up, the Giant on an interview backstage, but the Giant doesn’t like computer geeks (his words!), so it goes poorly for Marshall.

 

• Finally, they play ersatz “Iron Man” one more time so that we can get this Flair/Bischoff thing the hell out of the way. The right way to book this match is that Flair murders him in an eight-minute match, no interference, and Bischoff bleeds buckets. Instead, Bischoff gets an offensive move in that Flair sells by falling to the floor. NOPE. Why in the fuck is this even a remotely competitive match? Flair selling for Bischoff offense at all is bad, but Flair BLADING after Bischoff crashes Flair's head into the railing is ALL WRONG. I f I had to, I'd blame Flair for that spot. Knowing him, he probably insisted on blading because he has a strange understanding of pro wrestling sometimes. Flair summarily comes back, but this is just not the match that it should be. Oh look, we get a ref bump because Flair elbows the ref away while punching Bisch. How necessary. It feels like it is all too common for WCW matches to have ref bumps in them at this point.

 

• Flair must have Luger-type metal plates in his elbow because Charles Robinson has been out forever. He’s been out so long, in fact, that, get this – GET THIS – Curt Hennig’s worthless ass has plenty of time to run down and hand Bischoff some knucks while Bisch is in the Figure Four. Bischoff loads his fist and punches Flair, then squeaks out a pinfall victory when Robinson finally comes back to consciousness.

 

• MINUS FIVE STARS

 

• Also, please, somebody, anybody, Schiller, you dumb bastard, please fire Eric Bischoff already. I’m pleading with you. Ahem, no no, I’m totally composed, why are you asking?

 

• We get a Giant/DDP feud recap followed by their match. I have confidence that this match will be solid. Page isn’t a small guy, so he finds a way to backdrop Giant to the floor. The Giant is a hell of an athlete, man, especially when he’s trimmed down. The Giant tries to punch Page, but Page blocks it with a trash can that is, um, sitting in the middle of the front row? OK, sure. Page’s dodging, ducking, dipping, diving, and dodging doesn’t keep him from eventually getting caught, nor does it keep the Giant from trying to destroy Page’s knee. Because the Giant is so big, whenever he drops a limb across the knee, it just hits different than if other people do it. The Giant drops another elbow across Page’s knee and grapevines the leg.

 

• This is a solid match. It’s not amazing, but it’s decent. Page basically tries to fire up and gets crunched back to the mat by the Giant. It’s an obvious, but effective philosophy for this thing. I do think it was a mistake not to have Page’s opening run of offense go on a bit longer, though. The Giant does a boring bearhug that Page tries to make interesting by selling it even if Giant doesn’t bother to really work it. We get some more Giant control, and when Page slips out and tries to hit a Diamond Cutter, Giant pushes Page away and hits an absolute BEAUTY of a powerslam when Page comes back to him on the rebound. What a sick move that was. The Giant covers, but pulls Page up at two. Did this man learn nothing from fucking around at Starrcade two years ago and giving Luger the space and time to beat him?

 

• The Giant needs to drop the bearhug from his arsenal. He has all this dynamic looking offense, and then also this shitty bearhug. Page bites his way out of the bearhug, but tries a sunset flip that gets stuffed…and the Giant lifts Page up and hits a choke backbreaker. Sweet fuck, man, what a move! The Giant is my favorite MOVEZ~ guy ever, maybe. In his WCW era run, he consistently did these insane-looking power moves, a lot of which were visually creative. Giant casually goes to work on the Giant, but DDP hits a DDT out of a beal toss attempt. Page covers, but the Giant presses Page out of the pinfall and onto the ref. Bret Hart hobbles down and tries to hit Page with a chair shot while the ref is out, but Page dodges and the Giant takes a gross chair shot to the head, unprotected. No need to take that shot, especially on a show this poor.

 

• Even that chair shot only gets two, but Page lands a couple of top rope lariats and then calls for the Diamond Cutter. Page goes up top one more time and dives, but he dives right into a Giant goozle. The Giant manages to ignore Page desperately kicking him in the junk and hoists Page up top for a Super Chokeslam. You know what comes next – I’ve been waiting this whole feud for this to happen – as Page reverses the Super Chokeslam attempt into a falling Diamond Cutter and scores a victory. This was easily the best match on this show so far, and I’m not sure that it was remotely close. I suppose that Eddy/Kidman is a distant second, though I do have an affinity for Saturn/Cat.

 

• They re-run the same Nash/Goldberg promo from earlier before the main event. Yes, this would be a more appropriate place to run it, but you only need to run it once. That is, unless you’ve made a hash of booking this show and need to fill time.

 

• Michael Buffer brings Kevin Nash and Goldberg out for the main event. Buffer declares that though Nash is originally from Detroit, he’s got so many accolades and accomplishments, he is a CITIZEN OF THE WORLD. Why that is funny to me, I’m not sure, but it made me laugh. Maybe the disconnection between being a wrestling champ and a true citizen of the world? Maybe the seriousness with which Buffer said it? Who knows.

 

• Goldberg comes out, and the crowd prefers him to Nash based on their pre-match preening to the crowd. The aggrieved Nash fans do get a faint GOLDBERG SUCKS chant going. Goldberg fights out of a headlock by back suplexing Nash, so Nash takes a walk. The Goldberg fans start a louder NASH SUCKS chant. This is a plodding match that doesn’t feel like a big match, even with the hyped crowd. Maybe because I know there are a bunch of run-ins on the way, that’s dampened my own feelings toward this thing.

 

• There are a couple cool spots, though! Nash does his boot choke spot in the corner, and Goldberg just powers out of it by shoving Nash backward. They fight over submissions on the mat before we go back to some decent clubbering that isn’t the top-shelf stuff that I enjoy so much. Goldberg hits a spear about five minutes in and signals for the Jackhammer. Nash hits a desperation low blow while Goldberg tries to hoist him up. Nash hits a side slam and, man, this just isn’t doing it for me. I would have preferred a Page rematch that Page wins, I think. I have time to ponder this because we’re just marking time when Goldberg isn’t doing explosive offense.

 

• Nash lands a nice short-arm clothesline as I say that, so I should give him a little more credit. They trade two counts before Goldberg hits a superkick that looked pretty stiff, as Goldberg’s superkicks often are, so I have learned. Goldberg gets another two count, lands a wheel kick, and here comes the bullshit gaga. First, Disco Inferno runs down and eats a spear to give Nash time to breathe. This match is apparently no DQ according to Heenan. Um, did they say that on television? Did I miss something? Bam Bam runs out next and attacks Goldberg. Goldberg handles him, but as the ref and security are focused on getting Bam Bam out of there, Scott Hall runs down dressed like security, tases Goldberg, and leaves Goldberg ripe for a Jackknife that ends both his title reign and his winning streak. Let’s just say that I am underwhelmed. That did not feel like the main event of your biggest show at all.

 

• The big question after this show: Will there ever be a good WCW PPV again? If so, when? I’m not asking for a great show, though that’d be nice! I’m just asking for a good one.

[Raziel]

On 5/12/2024 at 10:17 PM, SirSmUgly said:

 

 

• The big question after this show: Will there ever be a good WCW PPV again? If so, when? I’m not asking for a great show, though that’d be nice! I’m just asking for a good one.

Well, I mean, there is a "good" one left.

 

Unfortunately...

[SirSmUgly]

1 hour ago, Raziel said:

Well, I mean, there is a "good" one left.

 

Unfortunately...

I do vaguely recall/assume that the Sin-SuperBrawl-Greed trio in 2001 actually ends up being solid because of course WCW would look to be righting the ship right before it gets cancelled and sold. 

[porksweats]

52 minutes ago, SirSmUgly said:

I do vaguely recall/assume that the Sin-SuperBrawl-Greed trio in 2001 actually ends up being solid because of course WCW would look to be righting the ship right before it gets cancelled and sold. 

2001 really is some great stuff (in my humble opinion)

[SirSmUgly]

I have probably said this a few times, but I haven't seen late '00-'01 WCW since original air, when I was watching WCW consistently again. I remember REALLY loving that stuff as well, and I'm very curious to see how it's aged or if I still enjoy it as much as I did.

Maybe it's just nostalgia building this up in my head, but I would swear to you that Shane Helms chasing Chavo Guerrero Jr. for the Cruiserweight Championship is legitimately one of the great WCW feuds. 

[Stefanie Sparkleface]

Re: good WCW PPVs post-1998, I remember really liking Spring Stampede 1999.

I also really liked WCW from October 2000 until the closure. There was a lot of younger talent in the mix getting reps and positioned as important (the Natural Born Thrillers, Three Count, Jung Dragons, EZ Money showing up during the last couple of weeks as Jason Jett and getting an undefeated streak). If WCW had survived, they would have been just fine with the way they were lining things up.

[twiztor]

On 5/11/2024 at 12:35 AM, SirSmUgly said:

Show #170 – 14 December 1998

“The one with the (only, I hope) dumb Flair heart attack angle”

• Huh, I don’t remember this WCW VHS initiative that Tony S. pimps. The WCW/nWo Superstar Series kicks off with two releases: Sting: Unmasked and Macho Man Randy Savage: The Man Behind the Madness. I didn’t know these existed and will soon see if anyone has done us all a solid and uploaded them to YouTube.
• Also, just for the record: I HATE REFEREES, THEY’RE INCOMPETENT AND STUPID.
• I think that this is an amazingly dull Nitro considering that we’re two Nitros out from Starrcade. It’s not a bad Nitro. It’s just that nothing has any heat with me on this show. It’s just a bunch of stuff. Sure some of that stuff is Barry Windham throwing a sweet-looking punch, but some of it is Jericho doing a rare weak sketch, the interminable lWo angle inching along, or Raven and Kanyon doing a lot of talking to start the show that, while entertaining, feels like a rerun of a rerun at this point. This match is perfectly cromulent, but, like, I find it hard to care about any of this.

• i used to own the Macho Man VHS. i watched it a bunch of times, but now, 20 years later, remember nothing about it. i do have a digital copy, so if you can't find it and are still interested, i can throw it up to Dailymotion or something.
• refereesare kayfabe THE WORST. with all the talk about wrestlers and their successes in other sports, are referees the zebras who can't cut it in the NFL, NBA, etc.? i just try to imagine an NFL sideline blasting a receiver with a lead pipe, but since the only official didn't see it, the game continues. or an NBA coach tripping opposing players as they run by. or a MLB 2nd baseman kneecapping a baserunner. Just absolutely ridiculous that any "Championship Committee" wouldn't take IMMEDIATE action and appoint more referees/recap, overturn results, hand out suspensions, etc. just THE WORST.
• i said back on Page 1: "the thing about Russo's run is that it just beats you down, little by little, until you just don't care anymore." i know you're not at Russo's run yet, but here we are anyway.

On 5/11/2024 at 8:32 PM, SirSmUgly said:

Thunder Interlude – show number forty-four  – 17 December 1998

"The WCW Gang gets some early practice in on stinking it up in 1999”

• Konnan defends his Television title against Kenny Kaos…Kaos has defeated Chris Jericho and Dean Malenko in recent weeks to earn this title shot been off either of the two major shows lately…Wait, hold on, Kaos comes out here with one of the tag titles…Is he still a tag champ?...I thought Judy Bagwell was the latest co-champ…This company, ten years earlier, ran multiple dope tag feuds over TWO sets of tag titles…But here in 1998, Rick Steiner won both titles by himself and then hands out one of them to whomever the fuck he pleases, including Buff Bagwell’s mom…
• I stand by my belief that Disco Inferno is a better professional wrestler than Cody Rhodes…I bet I can make the case…

• Kaos is coming directly off a loss to Wrath (SN 12/12), but before that he had TWO wins in a row! (vs. Johnny Swinger, SN 11/21; vs. Kendall Windham, Thunder 11/12). so definitely not a good challenger, but far from the worst we've seen! as for the tag belts, i don't think even WCW knew. it'll all be moot soon, anyway...
• not a take i would agree on, but Disco had a hell of a great '96-'97 run. his character was pitch perfect in stooging. My all-time favorite of his was when he had a leg submission but kept messing it up and would cost him the match. Culminating in having a diagram on how to apply it. But he was just so good at finding those little touches that made him a compelling low/mid carder.

On 5/12/2024 at 5:24 PM, SirSmUgly said:

Show #171 – 21 December 1998

“The one that packs the TWA Dome in the run-up to Starrcade 1998”

• this segment will include a wrestling staple that I love: Wrestlers dressing up in costumes so they can sneak attack other wrestlers. Hacksaw Duggan in the gorilla suit is of course the finest example of this wrestling-based trope.
• Raven hits this gem of a line, holy shit: “Gene, the only reason my mom showed up was she saw Judy Bagwell on TV and figured it was her opportunity to be on television. I guess she figures that if Judy Bagwell is one half of the tag champions, maybe she can spear Goldberg and become the World Champion.” I’M FUCKING DEAD, END THIS SHOW, CANCEL NITRO IMMEDIATELY AND GO OUT ON A HIGH NOTE
• I love Raven figuring out how to unify a semi-consistent backstory for all of his characters, by the way. If you were so inclined to watch 1992 WCW and saw a Scotty Flamingo match, then watch a 1998 WCW Raven match, it would actually make sense how that was the same guy. I cannot overstate my love for Raven, and I have to say that it’s re-watching this run in WCW, a place that restricted him more than ECW did and that he still got way over in while doing awesome work, that has vaulted him up my list of all-time favorite wrestlers.
• Alex Wright hasn’t been on TV much lately, which is the sign of someone who should get a TV title shot here in WCW. Of course, there’s always the possibility that he’s won his last forty matches on the syndicated shows!

• DDP dressing as La Parka, while not exactly the same situation that you're referencing, is probably my top example of this sort of chicanery.
• i'm dying just reliving that line. TREMENDOUS!
• i once told someone that Raven was on my list of favorite wrestlers, and their response was something about ECW (which i had only seen clips of). i argued back that it was because of his WCW run, and they were perplexed on how anybody could enjoy WCW Raven. i stand by my belief.
• well, he matches Kaos with two straight wins (vs. Alex Porteau, WW 12/12; vs. Chad Fortune, SN 11/28).

[twiztor]

 

6 hours ago, porksweats said:

2001 really is some great stuff (in my humble opinion)

 

5 hours ago, SirSmUgly said:

I haven't seen late '00-'01 WCW since original air, when I was watching WCW consistently again. I remember REALLY loving that stuff as well, and I'm very curious to see how it's aged or if I still enjoy it as much as I did.

 

4 hours ago, Stefanie Sparkleface said:

I also really liked WCW from October 2000 until the closure. There was a lot of younger talent in the mix getting reps and positioned as important (the Natural Born Thrillers, Three Count, Jung Dragons, EZ Money showing up during the last couple of weeks as Jason Jett and getting an undefeated streak). If WCW had survived, they would have been just fine with the way they were lining things up.

agreed on all accounts. from my perspective, they're starting to put the pieces together in summer 2000 (post-Hogan), and by fall it is pretty great right up through the end.

[SirSmUgly]

I'm finally all caught up to the current show on my list, and now I can come back and actually respond to some interesting posts that I missed earlier. 

On 5/12/2024 at 6:53 PM, zendragon said:

Also cool how Norman Smiley goes from jobber to getting a bit of a push by just getting himself and his dancing over

Interesting note: On the Starrcade '98 episode of 83 Weeks, Bischoff said watching this show made him think that he missed the boat on pushing Smiley. He was pretty effusive in his praise for the guy. At least he, or someone on the booking committee, noticed that Smiley was getting over. 

On 5/14/2024 at 7:02 PM, twiztor said:

• i used to own the Macho Man VHS. i watched it a bunch of times, but now, 20 years later, remember nothing about it. i do have a digital copy, so if you can't find it and are still interested, i can throw it up to Dailymotion or something.

I haven't had a chance to look yet, but will 100% take you up on this generous offer if I can't find it. 

Quote

• Kaos is coming directly off a loss to Wrath (SN 12/12), but before that he had TWO wins in a row! (vs. Johnny Swinger, SN 11/21; vs. Kendall Windham, Thunder 11/12). so definitely not a good challenger, but far from the worst we've seen! as for the tag belts, i don't think even WCW knew. it'll all be moot soon, anyway...

That is ominous. This is one of those titles that I have a huge gap in my memory about. I think after the Steiners lost them to the Outsiders, I had no memory of the title history until teams like Totally Buff and the NBT were feuding over them. 

Quote

• DDP dressing as La Parka, while not exactly the same situation that you're referencing, is probably my top example of this sort of chicanery.

That was quite a good spot as well! 

 

On 5/14/2024 at 2:18 PM, Stefanie Sparkleface said:

Re: good WCW PPVs post-1998, I remember really liking Spring Stampede 1999.

WCW putting on a good PPV in 1999?!

There's something about Spring Stampede, though. Along with Bash at the Beach, it tends to be the most consistent card of the '90s for WCW.

[Stefanie Sparkleface]

1 hour ago, SirSmUgly said:

WCW putting on a good PPV in 1999?!

There's something about Spring Stampede, though. Along with Bash at the Beach, it tends to be the most consistent card of the '90s for WCW.

Oh yeah, that show was fantastic. Juventud Guerrera vs. Blitzkrieg in the opener, the sheer novelty of Mikey Whipwreck vs. Scotty Riggs, Bam Bam vs. Sandman when both were feeling pretty inspired, a pretty solid Scott Steiner/Booker T match, and one of the better four-way matches in the main event with Flair, Hogan, Sting, and DDP. When even Konnan vs. Disco Inferno is watchable, something's afoot. 

[SirSmUgly]

Show #172 – 28 December 1998

“The one that ends 1998 as WCW means to start 1999”

• This show starts with Curt Hennig, Eric Bischoff, Buff Bagwell, and Scott Steiner celebrating Eric Bischoff’s tainted victory over Ric Flair at Starrcade. Let’s be positive: This is a good segment because it drives my expectations for the rest of the show straight into the dirt, so if they have even a mediocre show, I’ll receive it better than if they hadn’t started the show with this segment.

 

• These live crowds are still hot a surprising amount of the time! I guess four months isn’t quite enough for the stink of the bad booking to settle in.

 

• They play the Eric Bischoff heel run highlight package again. Bummer.

 

• Somehow Goldberg losing the title and his streak is not the hottest angle to follow up on. No, it’s Eric Bischoff, Super Heel.

 

• Tony S. promises Kidman/Rey in a Best-of-Three Falls for the Cruiserweight Championship later tonight! Oops, no, I misheard. What he said was that we’d talk to Ric Flair’s physician later tonight. Huh, sorry about that, don't know how I got those two things confused.

 

• Baltimore’s crowd kind of sucked the last time we were here for the Great American Bash, but I don’t think they deserved a first ten minutes of Nitro like these first ten. Unless there’s a big screen in the arena and they like watching video packages and Nitro Parties, I suppose.

 

• The Nitro Girls cut a rug. I wonder what’s on RAW right now. Hmm…Val Venis beats the Road Dogg by DQ…in a Hardcore Championship match. Never mind, I wonder what’s on MNF right now? The Jags are winning a 21-3 bore-fest over the Steelers. I wonder if there’s an NBA game on right now. No, there’s a lockout. I wonder what I should play on my N64, Saturn, or PSOne…

 

• Ernest Miller walks out with Sonny Onoo and does his whole deal on the mic. He wants to whoop someone tonight. Chris Jericho walks out with Ralphus, calls the Cat “Ernest Mills,” and says that Shima-Rama-Lama-Ding-Dong, and by that, he means Shiiba Nobunaga, can beat the Cat. Jericho says he and Ralphus will watch Nobunaga’s back tonight. Jericho hypes up Nobunaga as a charge of Ultimo Dragon and tries to hype Nobunaga up even though Nobunaga’s whole mien screams What the hell are you asking me to do and why, strange man with the weird hair? I have zero idea what the fuck this whole segment is driving at, and rather than feeling full of anticipation, I’m just mildly bored and confused. The Cat wins in a minute-long squash. So I guess we’re getting a Jericho/Dragon feud or something? If so, this was a dull and ill-advised way to kick off that feud. If not, why did they waste my time with this segment?

 

• We are almost seventeen minutes in before they show stills of Goldberg/Nash. Good to know that Goldberg matters way less than Eric Bischoff. Thanks, WCW.

 

• Norman Smiley walks out. Some dude in the front row does the Big Wiggle. Being crass definitely gets you over in 1998. Ooh, and his opponent is Chavo Guerrero Jr. (w/Pepe)! Chavo initiates a pose-off with Smiley. He wins that one according to fan reaction, so Norman does some chain wrestling in response. Norman’s heeling, and the crowd boos until he starts to boogie a bit. Chavo responds by knocking Smiley to the floor and then riding Pepe. Comedy is good, but I’m hoping they bust out a fun TV match in here. They don’t really get there, honestly. There are just some fun spots, moves, and taunts with not that much connective tissue. Then again, the crowd laughs at Smiley blocking a sunset flip and hitting a Big Wiggle and cabbage patching before grabbing Chavo by the throat. Larry Z., of all people, officially names the Big Wiggle on commentary. Eventually, Smiley Big Wiggles while riding Pepe and Chavo Jr. makes a comeback, and I’m gonna be honest, the match is ass. These fellas can get away with it because they are so personally entertaining, but I’m not amused by all the comedy spots revolving around Pepe. Smiley slaps on a Norman Conquest while Chavo is pre-occupied with Pepe for the win.

 

• Heh, we get the first part of that series of Raven sketches with Raven and Kanyon visiting his childhood home. This angle is stupid-ass nonsense, but the actor playing Raven’s mom is hilarious. Her petulant, annoyed “Thanks for opening the door for me, Chris” when Kanyon doesn’t get her car door for her is genuinely funny. She also tells a mopey Raven, “It could be worse. You could be in the hood, you know.” Holy shit, that is perfect writing for a character of this demographic. Raven bitches about the television not working as we go to break.

 

• Finlay comes to the ring to face on-again, off-again nemesis Booker T. Finlay jumps on Booker at the bell and lands a bunch of strikes that Book flops around for. Booker turns it around with a few boots after Finlay dumps him to the mats outside the ring and takes too long to follow up. This match goes back and forth and is perfectly cromulent. Finlay takes a lot of this match, and he’s decided to be decent in control tonight, so that’s what determines this match’s watchability. Honestly, this is longer than it needed to be, and I didn’t want to see Booker selling for Finlay’s “good enough” offense for most of it. Book finally makes a comeback that sticks and lands a missile dropkick for three.

 

• I really do not care about this Flair/Bischoff feud, so of course we’re going to get more Flair/Bischoff Starrcade stills followed by Gene Okerlund interviewing Ric Flair. Flair is bummed about losing a match that anyone with a working brain cell would have booked Flair to win. Flair is basically like Everyone told me I sucked after losing that match, and I agreed, but I decided to come to the arena instead of getting on a plane for home and putting a few flight attendants in danger along the way. Flair cuts an annoying promo where he yells a lot and reads the labels on his clothes. Seriously, he reads off the costs and labels on his clothes like he’s Patrick Bateman trying to impress Tim Price with his latest shopping spree. This is the (a?) promo where Flair strips to his boxers, elbowdrops the mat, and does his “kooky old man” shit.

 

• Basically, Flair says he’ll give Bischoff everything he owns, plus his career to fight him on Nitro tonight, with the stip that Flair gets to run WCW for the next three months if he wins. The crowd admittedly loved this, but I fucking hated it, gotta be honest. This guy just keeps going on and on and handcuffs himself to the top rope besides, and all I can focus on is the OTHER CHANNEL, JACKASS sign in the crowd. Wait, what is on the other channel right now? Uh, still nothing that I want to see, considering that Road Dogg successfully defends the Hardcore Championship twice in two hours.

 

• There’s a break, and we come back to Flair still in the ring, yelling and carrying on until ersatz “Iron Man” finally plays over the PA. *sigh*, Please, let’s get this segment over already. Just trust me on this: Bischoff limps down and accepts the challenge, but he takes a long-ass time to do it. This was some deeply awful television, folks.

 

• Sharmell comes out and, uh, is inspirational, let’s put it that way. She’s also just too adorable. She smiles and waves to the camera after her routine is over. What a cutie. I am over the Nitro Girls dancing like six times a night, but I always have time for Sharmell.

 

• Barry Windham wins a semi-competitive squash against Prince Iaukea. Windham is easy to watch, even when he only barely cares (see: The Stalker). I hold the “guys with amazing in-ring timing who are otherwise mostly boring” in lower regard than most of DVDVR. For example, I think Ted DiBiase is a career average dude and that Randy Orton sucks. But Windham is definitely the best one of those types of guys, mostly on the strength of his 1988. Windham eventually scores victory in this passable and forgettable match with a rebound bulldog.

 

• Gene Okerlund interviews one of WCW’s security mooks so that they can talk about the taser that Scott Hall used to zap Goldberg right in the kidneys. It’s scintillating television.

 

• This ad for WCW/nWo Revenge makes me think that I should fire it up this weekend. I got enraged at WWF WrestleMania 2000 because Dude Love just will not stay down long enough for me to scale the cage in my WWF World Championship match. Maybe instead, I’ll swap the WCW Tag Team Championships onto Rick Steiner and, uh, turn Kim Chee into a Kenny Kaos (?!?) pseudo-CAW as his tag partner.

 

• Diamond Dallas Page interviews with Gene Okerlund in the ring. Page cuts a promo that glosses over his defeat of the Giant the night before so that he can talk about the results of some other Starrcade matches. It stinks, per the usual, but it wasn’t the worst thing on this show.

 

• Disco Inferno and Konnan bitch at each other about Disco’s Wolfpac hopes. Nash walks up, swats Disco with a rolled up paper and yells at him for running in on the Goldberg match. Nash also says he’s got a match lined up for Disco later tonight, which Disco confusedly accepts.

 

• We’re seventy minutes in and we’ve had three matches, just FYI.

 

• We get a few Cruiserweight title stills from Starrcade as an introduction to our next match, which involves Eddy Guerrero (still mad at Juventud Guerrera) and Juventud Guerrera (still trying to impress Eddy) tagging up. Their opponents are Rey Misterio Jr. and Billy Kidman. I’m sure this match will be fine. It’ll probably be aesthetically pleasing. But man, this feud pairing has been run into the ground. To try and spice this bout up, Eddy’s still pissed at Juvi, and Juvi is still a cornball who desperately wants Eddy’s approval, that’s the big story in this match. Eventually, Juvi gets mad that Eddy leaves him to the wolves and slap-tags him, so Eddy makes up with Juvi (for now), and they attack the babyfaces. Hey, this match isn’t really any good either, actually. There are some spots that are decent, but the moment-to-moment is sort of dull.

 

• There’s a commercial break in this deal, which I feel is totally unnecessary. The match layout is odd in that each of them has gone longer than they need to. At the same time, most of this show has been talking and recaps. What about more short matches if we’re having two guys wrestle one another and one is a clear level or two above the other? This tag match is part of a turgid feud, I think is the biggest issue with it going this long. The Juvi/Eddy dissension happened like three weeks, maybe a month, after Juvi joined the group! There’s no investment in it for me because Juvi just turned heel. What a weird booking committee. They rush key plot points in some cases, but most of their other plot points are drawn out weeks or months past when they should have been resolved.

 

• So this match, after the break, settles down into a decent enough bout with Misterio as FIP. Eventually, Eddy and Juvi get their wires crossed and crack heads; this allows Misterio to score a hot tag. The match breaks down shortly after; Rey and Kidman team up on an elevated seated senton splash for two, then a sitout slam/springboard legdrop combo for two. Rey and Kidman get their wires crossed next and smack their heads into one another. Which team will be the last to make a mistake? It turns out to be Eddy and Juvi, as Eddy drops a Frog Splash on the concussed Kidman for three. It was acceptable, but where are we going from here? It’s hilarious that Bischoff is always talking about how the guys he worked with who were real pros would always meet a suggestion or idea with, “Great, but what’s next?” because most of his angles rarely seem to be asking that very urgent question! Especially the nWo angle, which ended up helping to kill business by 2000!

 

• The Wolfpac heads to the ring. The Goldberg finish has kind of tarnished Nash’s crowd reaction. It’s such a mistake to have Goldberg eat a screwy loss for his first one. You have a guy win the gold off him cleanly, and it makes that guy and doesn’t hurt Goldberg because everybody’s gotta lose at some point. It makes him human. I continue to be right that Page winning with a Diamond Cutter at Havoc was the hundred percent correct move. Nash acts all contrite about said screwy loss that Goldberg ate at Starrcade. Nash says that he convinced the matchmakers to book Disco versus Bam Bam Bigelow tonight. If Disco wins, he’s in. If he loses, “please stay the hell away from us,” says Nash. Nash then addresses Hall with regards to the whole taser spot and says he doesn’t appreciate the help. Finally, he demands a rematch with Goldberg for the title next week. I’m sure that rematch will be on the level!

 

• Disco Inferno/Bam Bam Bigelow is next, in fact. Might I suggest that it was time for Bammer to update his apparel? I’m not sure this look is great for 1998. The guy looks better fighting in a denim vest and jeans or even sweatpants. Disco gets rolled, but moves when Bammer tries a diving headbutt and makes a frenetic comeback. He hits the second-rope elbow because he doesn’t dance, but that only gets two. Then, he scores a flash Chartbuster, but that also only gets two. That’s game for Disco, as Bam Bam gets back on top and drills a Greetings from Asbury Park for three. The desk agrees that Disco will never be a Wolfpac member, but as I’ve noted before, my copy of WCW Mayhem for the Nintendo 64 Entertainment System says otherwise!

 

• The Nitro Girls dance. Bischoff shadowboxes with Curt Hennig. Hennig really is pissed off about Flair trying to keep him from tagging with Savage at Survivor Series ’92, huh? Let it go already, it’s been over six years.

 

• We get a video where a guy who claims to be a cardiologist (and probably is because why wouldn’t a cardiologist want to be on television) talks about Flair’s worked heart attack and what happened after Flair landed in the hospital a couple of weeks ago. Oh man, I do not care. Please move on. The doctor is like, It wasn’t a heart attack, but digitalis poisoning. Foxglove?! What, did Flair drink some bad tea? Anyway, this is pointless unless Miss Marple or Monk or House shows up on Nitro and gets down to who poisoned Ric Flair. Now, that’s an angle I want to watch. Okerlund immediately runs in on Bischoff and Hennig and questions them about it. They freak out. It fucking sucks, man. Nitro is an inessential show at this point. At least be entertainingly bad if you’re going to be bad.

 

• Scott Steiner (w/Buff Bagwell, nWo ref) are next up. At least Steiner keeps his remarks short this week. He’s got a shot at Konnan’s TV Championship. Konnan keeps his remarks the same as they always are, hitting every catchphrase that he has even after Steiner rips the mic away and gives it to Buff so that Buff can declare that Baltimore sucks. Steiner and Buff celebrate while Konnan attacks the nWo ref. I guess Konnan got his own ref, but it’s Scott Dickinson, and you can’t trust that chump. Only Billy Silverman is arguably a worse kayfabe referee.

 

• Konnan dominates until Buff runs a distraction. Scotty commences upon an acceptable enough control segment. Commentary talks about how one might overdose on digitalis while this match goes on, and yeah, they really could use House’s expertise on this one. Konnan eventually hits an inverted DDT out of a powerslam attempt to stop Steiner’s offensive onslaught. Konnan hits a back kick and a sit-out facebuster, then wraps on a Tequila Sunrise. Bagwell tries to pull Steiner out of the ring; Luger runs out to pull Bagwell away from Steiner. There are some Luger and Buff shenanigans that end with Buff pulling down the top rope so that Konnan crashes over them and to the floor. Steiner gets Konnan back in the ring and locks on a Steiner Recliner that coaxes a submission and that gives the Television title to Steiner. The play here is that Luger pulling Buff is what gave Buff the momentum to pull Steiner enough to break the Tequila Sunrise, but this is like the most lukewarm intrigue around. Man, this booking committee took a red-hot Luger in 1997 and proceeded to book him into oblivion.

 

• Scott Hall saunters out wearing a Goldberg shirt. He’s wrestling Crush (w/Virgil). Yuck. Hall yammers on before the match about how Nash should be happier that Hall made him a lot of money by helping him win the World title. Hall’s like What the hell, man, I helped you out of a jam and you didn’t even invite me to the Wolfpac or nothin’. I’m sure you two will find a resolution to your issues in, oh, about a week or so. Crush lands an ugly piledriver and celebrates. There’s a Razor/Crush match from 1993 Coliseum Video on the internet that also sucks, but it’s better than this. I would advise you to watch that match instead of this one. I mean if you’re so inclined to watch a singles match involving these two wrestlers. Crush locks on a shitty bear hug. I’m sorry that I’m so down on this show. What happened was that I powered through the rest of my list for 1998, and so I added a bunch of stuff from the last four months, most of it bad in my estimation. That probably didn’t put me in the right mindset to watch this show, though don’t get it twisted: This show is of incredibly low quality. A guy insistently yells BOOOOOOOORING, so that’s a sign to bring this on home, fellas. Hall can’t get Crush up on his own, so he has to wait until Crush is celebrating in the corner to sneak up behind him and hit a Razor’s Edge for three.

 

• Buffer brings Ric Flair and Eric Bischoff to the ring for a mercifully short Nitro main event. This thing won’t go more than about eight minutes. Tony S. has never heard as many boos as he’s hearing now for Eric Bischoff’s entrance, which is odd, as the crowd is pretty much silent. Bischoff decides that now is the time to leave the arena. Bischoff gets in his limo, but the Horsemen are hiding in it, and they haul Bisch to the arena while we go to break.

 

• The Horsemen finally toss the guy in the ring after the break, and Flair kills Bisch until nWo Hollywood runs down and eventually overwhelm the Horsemen. So, here’s what happens next: The Giant comes down and pulls Flair off Bisch. He goes to chokeslam Flair, but some WCW backup makes their way to the ring. Also, so does Randy Savage, with Gorgeous George at his side. Savage hobbles into the ring waring a Hollywood shirt and convinces the Giant that they’re copacetic, but when the Giant turns around, Savage forearms the Giant in the nuts and clotheslines him to the floor to a huge pop. Everyone loves Savage, and so do I, but seeing end-stage Savage out here really bums me out. Flair wins with the Figure Four and WCW celebrates. There was a lot of gaga here to tell what ultimately should have been a simple story told more simply: Flair comes back and beats the shit out of Bischoff for six minutes without any outside jibber jabber at Starrcade. I mean, they got there eventually, I guess.

 

• Well, this Nitro certainly worked as a rancid appetizer for the abominable main course that will be 1999 WCW. I think immobile Randy Savage standing next to Gorgeous George was particularly portentous. -1.5 out of 5 Stinger Splashes

[SirSmUgly]

It's time for lists! 

Stevie Ray shows up on this first list. Can you guess how?

SmUgs’s Standouts – My Favorite Matches

Spoiler

·         Lord Steven Regal vs. Fit Finlay (Nitro, 4/29/96)

·         Sting, Lex Luger, and Randy Savage vs. The Outsiders (Bash at the Beach, 7/7/96)

·         Lex Luger vs. The Giant (Starrcade, 12/29/96)

·         Eddy Guerrero vs. Syxx (Souled Out, 1/25/97)

·         Dean Malenko vs. Syxx (SuperBrawl VII, 2/23/97)

·         Chris Benoit and Woman vs. Kevin Sullivan and Jacqueline (SuperBrawl VII, 2/23/97)

·         The Outsiders vs. Ric Flair and Roddy Piper [plus the aftermath] (Nitro, 6/9/97)

·         Akira Hokuto vs. Madusa (Great American Bash, 6/15/97)

·         Lex Luger vs. Hulk Hogan (Nitro, 8/4/97)

·         Alex Wright vs. Ultimo Dragon (Clash 35, 8/21/97)

·         Rey Misterio Jr. vs. Eddy Guerrero (Halloween Havoc, 10/26/97)

·         Disco Inferno vs. Saturn (Nitro, 12/8/97)

·         Raven vs. Chris Benoit (Souled Out, 1/24/98)

·         Chris Jericho vs. Juventud Guerrera (SuperBrawl VIII, 2/22/98)

·         Raven vs. Diamond Dallas Page (Spring Stampede, 4/19/98)

·         Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Stevie Ray and Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Eddy Guerrero (Bash at the Beach, 7/12/98)

·         Rey Misterio Jr. vs. Chris Jericho (Nitro, 8/3/98)

·         Goldberg vs. Diamond Dallas Page (Halloween Havoc, 10/25/98)

 

[SirSmUgly]

You could make yourself a heck of a playlist on YouTube with this list. 

Very Good (and Sometimes Pretty Great) TV and PPV Matches that Make Entertaining Candidates for a Nitro-era Playlist on YouTube 

Spoiler

·         Sabu vs. Mr. J.L. (Nitro, 10/9/95)

·         Chris Benoit vs. Eddy Guerrero (Nitro, 10/16/95)

·         Meng vs. Hacksaw Jim Duggan (Nitro, 10/16/95)

·         Eddy Guerrero vs. Johnny B. Badd (Nitro, 11/13/95)

·         Sting vs. Dean Malenko (Nitro, 11/13/95)

·         Cutie Suzuki and Mayumi Ozaki vs. Bull Nakano and Akira Hokuto (Nitro, 11/27/95)

·         The Giant vs. Scott Norton (Nitro, 12/4/95)

·         Arn Anderson vs. Randy Savage (Nitro, 1/1/96)

·         Chris Benoit vs. Lord Steven Regal (Nitro,1/1/96)

·         Sting vs. Diamond Dallas Page (Nitro, 1/8/96)

·         Devon Storm vs. Konnan (Nitro, 2/12/96)

·         Steiner Brothers vs. Road Warriors (Nitro, 3/11/96)

·         Steiner Brothers vs. Public Enemy (Nitro, 3/18/96)

·         Ric Flair vs. The Giant (Nitro, 3/25/96)

·         The Giant and Ric Flair vs. Sting and Lex Luger (Nitro, 4/8/96)

·         The Giant and Ric Flair vs. Sting and Lex Luger (Nitro, 4/22/96)

·         Sting and Lex Luger vs. Harlem Heat (Nitro, 4/29/96)

·         Fire & Ice vs. Steiner Brothers (Nitro, 4/29/96)

·         Ric Flair vs. The Giant (Nitro, 4/29/96)

·         Sting vs. The Giant (Slamboree, 5/19/96)

·         Ric Flair vs. Eddy Guerrero (Nitro, 5/20/96)

·         Sting and Lex Luger vs. The Faces of Fear (Nitro, 5/20/96)

·         Lord Steven Regal vs. Alex Wright (Nitro, 5/27/96)

·         High Voltage vs. The Faces of Fear (Nitro, 6/3/96)

·         Scott Steiner vs. Booker T. (Nitro, 6/10/96)

·         Scott Norton vs. The Giant (Nitro, 6/10/96)

·         Sting and Lex Luger vs. Ric Flair and Arn Anderson (Nitro, 6/10/96)

·         Sting vs. Lord Steven Regal (Great American Bash, 6/16/96)

·         Ric Flair and Arn Anderson vs. Kevin Greene and Mongo McMichael (Great American Bash, 6/16/96)

·         Lex Luger vs. The Giant (Great American Bash, 6/16/96)

·         Arn Anderson and Chris Benoit vs. The American Males (Nitro, 6/17/96)

·         Ric Flair vs. Randy Savage (Nitro, 6/17/96)

·         Alex Wright vs. Diamond Dallas Page (Nitro, 6/24/96)

·         The Steiner Brothers vs. Harlem Heat (Nitro, 7/1/96)

·         Rey Misterio Jr. vs. Psicosis (Bash at the Beach, 7/7/96)

·         Dean Malenko vs. Disco Inferno (Bash at the Beach, 7/7/96)

·         Rey Misterio Jr. vs. Dean Malenko (Nitro, 7/8/96)

·         Big Bubba and Hugh Morrus vs. The Blue Bloods (Nitro, 7/8/96)

·         Psicosis vs. Eddy Guerrero (Nitro, 7/8/96)

·         Chris Benoit vs. Sgt. Craig Pittman (Nitro, 7/8/96)

·         Dean Malenko vs. Billy Kidman (Nitro, 7/15/96)

·         Chris Benoit vs. Eddy Guerrero (Nitro, 7/15/96)

·         Dean Malenko vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr. (Nitro, 7/22/96)

·         Eddy Guerrero vs. Psicosis (Nitro, 7/22/96)

·         Alex Wright vs. Chris Benoit (Nitro, 8/5/96)

·         Ric Flair vs. The Booty Man (Nitro, 8/5/96)

·         Dean Malenko vs. Chris Benoit (Hog Wild, 8/11/96)

·         Steiner Brothers vs. Harlem Heat (Hog Wild, 8/11/96)

·         Lex Luger and Sting vs. The Outsiders (Hog Wild, 8/11/96)

·         Ric Flair vs. Randy Savage (Nitro, 8/12/96)

·         Lord Steven Regal vs. Dean Malenko (Nitro, 8/19/96)

·         Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Diamond Dallas Page (Fall Brawl, 9/15/96)

·         Konnan vs. Juventud Guerrera (Fall Brawl, 9/15/96)

·         Rey Misterio Jr. vs. Juventud Guerrera (Nitro, 9/16/96)

·         Dean Malenko vs. Brad Armstrong (Nitro, 10/14/96)

·         Dean Malenko vs. Jimmy Graffiti (Nitro, 10/21/96)

·         The Faces of Fear vs. The Fantastics (Nitro, 10/21/96)

·         Dean Malenko vs. Rey Misterio Jr. (Halloween Havoc, 10/27/96)

·         Diamond Dallas Page vs. Eddy Guerrero (Halloween Havoc, 10/27/96)

·         Jeff Jarrett vs. The Giant (Halloween Havoc, 10/27/96)

·         Syxx vs. Chris Jericho (Halloween Havoc, 10/27/96)

·         The Outsiders vs. Harlem Heat (Halloween Havoc, 10/27/96)

·         Diamond Dallas Page vs. Mike Enos (Nitro, 10/28/96)

·         The Amazing French Canadiens vs. High Voltage (Nitro, 10/28/96)

·         Rey Misterio Jr. vs. Jimmy Graffiti (Nitro, 10/28/96)

·         Marcus Bagwell vs. Brad Armstrong (Nitro, 11/4/96)

·         Lex Luger vs. Booker T. (Nitro, 11/4/96)

·         Chris Benoit vs. Jeff Jarrett (Nitro, 11/11/96)

·         La Parka vs. Juventud Guerrera (Nitro, 11/18/96)

·         American Males vs. Amazing French Canadiens (Nitro, 11/18/96)

·         Rey Misterio vs. Ultimo Dragon (World War 3, 11/24/96)

·         Jeff Jarrett vs. The Giant (World War 3, 11/24/96)

·         Harlem Heat vs. Amazing French Canadiens (World War 3, 11/24/96)

·         Rey Misterio Jr. vs. Psicosis (Nitro, 11/25/96)

·         Billy Kidman vs. Dean Malenko (Nitro, 12/2/96)

·         Dean Malenko vs. Jimmy Graffiti (Nitro, 12/9/96)

·         Jeff Jarrett vs. Diamond Dallas Page (Nitro, 12/9/96)

·         Lord Steven Regal vs. Psicosis (Nitro, 12/16/96)

·         Chris Benoit vs. Eddy Guerrero (Nitro, 12/23/96)

·         Rey Misterio Jr. vs. Mr. J.L. (Nitro, 12/23/96)

·         Rey Misterio Jr. vs. Jushin Thunder Liger (Starrcade, 12/29/96)

·         Chris Benoit vs. Jeff Jarrett (Starrcade, 12/29/96)

·         The Outsiders vs. The Faces of Fear (Starrcade, 12/29/96)

·         Hulk Hogan vs. Roddy Piper (Starrcade, 12/29/96)

·         Jushin Thunder Liger vs. Ultimo Dragon (Nitro, 12/30/96)

·         Jeff Jarrett vs. Chris Benoit (Nitro, 1/13/97)

·         The Outsiders vs. The Steiner Brothers (Souled Out, 1/25/97)

·         Hulk Hogan vs. The Giant (Souled Out, 1/25/97)

·         The Faces of Fear vs. The Steiner Brothers (Nitro, 1/27/97)

·         The Giant vs. Roadblock (Nitro, 1/27/97)

·         Jeff Jarrett vs. Eddy Guerrero (Nitro, 1/27/97)

·         The Amazing French Canadiens vs. Mongo McMichael and Arn Anderson (Nitro, 1/27/97)

·         Ice Train vs. La Parka (Nitro, 2/3/97)

·         Mongo McMichael vs. Jeff Jarrett (Nitro, 2/3/97)

·         Chris Benoit and Mongo McMichael vs. Jeff Jarrett and Chavo Guerrero Jr. (Nitro, 2/10/97)

·         Super Calo vs. Rey Misterio Jr. (Nitro, 2/17/97)

·         Jeff Jarrett vs. Mongo McMichael (SuperBrawl VII, 2/23/97)

·         The Giant vs. The Outsiders (SuperBrawl VII, 2/23/97)

·         Eddy Guerrero and Chris Jericho vs. The Faces of Fear (Nitro, 2/24/97)

·         Mongo McMichael and Jeff Jarrett vs. High Voltage (Nitro, 3/10/97)

·         Psicosis vs. Rey Misterio Jr. (Nitro, 3/17/97)

·         La Parka vs. Juventud Guerrera (Nitro, 3/24/97)

·         Harlem Heat vs. The Faces of Fear (Nitro, 3/24/97)

·         Lex Luger and the Giant vs. Rick Fuller and Roadblock (Nitro, 3/31/97)

·         Meiko Satomura vs. Toshie Uematsu (Nitro, 3/31/97)

·         William Regal vs. Chris Jericho [and the aftermath] (Nitro, 3/31/97)

·         Rey Misterio Jr. vs. Ultimo Dragon (Spring Stampede, 4/6/97)

·         Chris Jericho vs. Dean Malenko (Nitro, 4/7/97)

·         Chris Benoit vs. The Barbarian (Nitro, 4/14/97)

·         Meng vs. Chris Jericho (Nitro, 4/21/97)

·         Jeff Jarrett vs. Scotty Riggs (Nitro, 4/21/97)

·         Syxx vs. Rey Misterio Jr. (Nitro, 4/21/97)

·         Mongo McMichael vs. The Barbarian (Nitro, 4/28/97)

·         Ultimo Dragon vs. Juventud Guerrera (Nitro, 5/12/97)

·         Mongo McMichael vs. Dean Malenko (Nitro, 5/12/97)

·         Chris Benoit vs. Meng (Slamboree, 5/18/97)

·         Kevin Nash, Scott Hall, and Syxx vs. Ric Flair, Roddy Piper, and Kevin Greene (Slamboree, 5/18/97)

·         The Steiner Brothers vs. Jeff Jarrett and Mongo McMichael (Nitro, 5/19/97)

·         Juventud Guerrera, Super Calo, and Hector Garza vs. Ciclope, La Parka, and Damien 666 (Nitro, 5/26/97)

·         Chris Benoit vs. The Barbarian (Nitro, 6/2/97)

·         Scott Hall vs. Ric Flair (Nitro, 6/2/97)

·         Hulk Hogan vs. Lex Luger [and aftermath] (Nitro, 6/9/97)

·         Jeff Jarrett vs. Dean Malenko (Nitro, 6/9/97)

·         Chris Benoit vs. Meng (Great American Bash, 6/15/97)

·         Super Calo vs. La Parka (Nitro, 6/16/97)

·         Syxx vs. Rey Misterio Jr. (Nitro, 6/16/97)

·         Jeff Jarrett and Mongo McMichael vs. Vicious and Delicious (Nitro, 6/16/97)

·         Hector Garza vs. Villano IV (Nitro, 6/23/97)

·         High Voltage vs. Wrath and Mortis (Nitro, 6/30/97)

·         Glacier and Ernest Miller vs. Wrath and Mortis (Bash at the Beach, 7/13/97)

·         Eddy Guerrero vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr. (Nitro, 7/14/97)

·         Wrath and Mortis vs. Psicosis and La Parka (Nitro, 7/22/97)

·         The Outsiders vs. Chris Benoit and Ric Flair (Nitro, 7/22/97)

·         Wrath vs. Meng (Nitro, 8/11/97)

·         Eddy Guerrero vs. Chris Jericho (Nitro, 8/11/97)

·         Mongo McMichael and Chris Benoit vs. The Steiner Brothers (Nitro, 8/11/97)

·         Ultimo Dragon vs. Mortis (Nitro, 8/11/97)

·         Mongo McMichael and Chris Benoit vs. Eddy Guerrero and Jeff Jarrett (Nitro, 8/18/97)

·         Chris Jericho vs. Eddy Guerrero (Clash 35, 8/21/97)

·         Chris Benoit vs. Jeff Jarrett (Nitro, 8/25/97)

·         The Faces of Fear vs. Mortis and Wrath (Nitro, 8/25/97)

·         Jeff Jarrett and Eddy Guerrero vs. Mongo McMichael and Chris Benoit (Nitro, 9/1/97)

·         La Parka vs. Ultimo Dragon (Nitro, 9/1/97)

·         Rey Misterio Jr. vs. Eddy Guerrero (Nitro, 9/8/97)

·         Eddy Guerrero vs. Chris Jericho (Fall Brawl, 9/14/97)

·         Psicosis vs. Rey Misterio Jr. (Nitro, 9/15/97)

·         The Faces of Fear vs. The Steiner Brothers (Nitro, 9/22/97)

·         Buff Bagwell vs. Diamond Dallas Page (Nitro, 9/29/97)

·         Eddy Guerrero vs. Rey Misterio Jr. (Nitro, 9/29/97)

·         Jeff Jarrett vs. Booker T. (Nitro, 10/6/97)

·         Disco Inferno vs. Diamond Dallas Page [and the aftermath] (Nitro, 10/6/97)

·         Curt Hennig vs. Chris Benoit (Nitro, 10/6/97)

·         Disco Inferno vs. Alex Wright (Nitro, 10/13/97)

·         Eddy Guerrero vs. Chris Benoit (Nitro, 10/20/97)

·         Fit Finlay vs. Chris Benoit (Nitro, 10/27/97)

·         Diamond Dallas Page vs. Hulk Hogan (Nitro, 10/27/97)

·         Eddy Guerrero and Dean Malenko vs. Rey Misterio Jr. and Lord Steven Regal (Nitro, 11/3/97)

·         Saturn vs. Disco Inferno (Nitro, 11/3/97)

·         Curt Hennig vs. Diamond Dallas Page (Nitro, 11/10/97)

·         Chris Jericho vs. Rey Misterio Jr. (Nitro, 11/17/97)

·         Saturn vs. Disco Inferno (World War 3, 11/23/97)

·         The Blue Bloods vs. The Steiner Brothers (World War 3, 11/23/97)

·         Rey Misterio Jr. vs. Eddy Guerrero (World War 3, 11/23/97)

·         Meng vs. Booker T. (Nitro, 11/24/97)

·         Brad Armstrong vs. Dean Malenko (Nitro, 11/24/97)

·         Buff Bagwell vs. Chris Jericho (Nitro, 11/24/97)

·         Rey Misterio Jr. vs. Juventud Guerrera (Nitro, 12/1/97)

·         Harlem Heat vs. The Faces of Fear (Nitro, 12/1/97)

·         La Parka and Psicosis vs. Rey Misterio Jr. and Juventud Guerrera (Nitro, 12/8/97)

·         Mongo McMichael vs. Meng (Nitro, 12/22/97)

·         Van Hammer vs. Chris Benoit (Nitro, 12/22/97)

·         Eddy Guerrero vs. Dean Malenko (Starrcade, 12/28/97)

·         Psicosis vs. Juventud Guerrera (Nitro, 1/5/98)

·         Saturn vs. Booker T. (Nitro, 1/12/98)

·         The Outsiders vs. The Steiner Brothers (Nitro, 1/12/98)

·         Booker T. vs. Rick Martel (Souled Out, 1/24/98)

·         Kevin Nash vs. The Giant (Souled Out, 1/24/98)

·         Raven vs. Mortis (Nitro, 1/26/98)

·         Diamond Dallas Page vs. Wrath (Nitro, 1/26/98)

·         Lord Steven Regal vs. Booker T. (Nitro, 2/2/98)

·         Disco Inferno vs. Raven (Nitro, 2/2/98)

·         Billy Kidman vs. Juventud Guerrera (Thunder, 2/5/98)

·         Eddy Guerrero and Chris Jericho vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr. and Dean Malenko (Nitro, 2/9/98)

·         Ultimo Dragon vs. Saturn (Nitro, 2/9/98)

·         Diamond Dallas Page vs. Mortis (Thunder, 2/12/98)

·         Chris Jericho vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr. (Thunder, 2/12/98)

·         Goldberg vs. Glacier (Thunder, 2/12/98)

·         Billy Kidman vs. Ultimo Dragon (Nitro, 2/16/98)

·         Meng vs. Barbarian (Nitro, 2/16/98)

·         Billy Kidman vs. Juventud Guerrera (Thunder, 2/19/98)

·         Raven and Saturn vs. Chris Benoit and Diamond Dallas Page (Thunder, 2/19/98)

·         Booker T. vs. Saturn (SuperBrawl VIII, 2/22/98)

·         La Parka vs. Disco Inferno (SuperBrawl VIII, 2/22/98)

·         Goldberg vs. Brad Armstrong (SuperBrawl VIII, 2/22/98)

·         Diamond Dallas Page vs. Chris Benoit (SuperBrawl VIII, 2/22/98)

·         Ultimo Dragon vs. Kaz Hayashi (Nitro, 2/23/98)

·         Chris Jericho vs. Lenny Lane (Nitro, 2/23/98)

·         Raven vs. Disco Inferno (Nitro, 3/2/98)

·         Prince Iaukea vs. Eddy Guerrero (Thunder, 3/5/98)

·         Disco Inferno vs. Chris Jericho (Nitro, 3/9/98)

·         Saturn vs. Disco Inferno (Thunder, 3/12/98)

·         Chris Jericho vs. Juventud Guerrera (Nitro, 3/16/98)

·         Eddy Guerrero vs. Psicosis (Thunder, 3/19/98)

·         Sting vs. Diamond Dallas Page (Nitro, 3/23/98)

·         Eddy Guerrero vs. Kaz Hayashi (Nitro, 3/23/98)

·         Chris Benoit vs. Booker T. (Nitro, 3/23/98)

·         Chris Jericho vs. Disco Inferno (Thunder, 3/26/98)

·         Saturn vs. Fit Finlay (Nitro, 3/30/98)

·         Glacier vs. Prince Iaukea (Nitro, 3/30/98)

·         Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Ultimo Dragon (Nitro, 4/6/98)

·         Rocco Rock vs. Goldberg (Nitro, 4/13/98)

·         Silver King vs. Saturn (Thunder, 4/16/98)

·         Randy Savage and Kevin Nash vs. Bret Hart and Sting (Thunder, 4/16/98)

·         Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Ultimo Dragon (Spring Stampede, 4/19/98)

·         Chris Benoit vs. Booker T. (Spring Stampede, 4/19/98)

·         Buff Bagwell and Scott Steiner vs. Lex Luger and Rick Steiner (Spring Stampede, 4/19/98)

·         Juventud Guerrera vs. Chris Jericho (Nitro, 4/20/98)

·         Goldberg vs. Raven (Nitro, 4/20/98)

·         Buff Bagwell and Scott Steiner vs. Public Enemy (Nitro, 4/20/98)

·         Booker T. vs. Psicosis (Nitro, 4/20/98)

·         Booker T. vs. Disco Inferno (Thunder, 4/23/98)

·         Chris Jericho vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr. (Nitro, 4/27/98)

·         Chris Benoit vs. Disco Inferno (Nitro, 4/27/98)

·         Billy Kidman vs. Juventud Guerrera (Nitro, 4/27/98)

·         Booker T. vs. Eddy Guerrero (Nitro, 4/27/98)

·         Saturn vs. Van Hammer and the Raven/DDP/bullrope aftermath (Nitro, 5/4/98)

·         Booker T. vs. Chris Benoit (Nitro, 5/11/98)

·         Eddy Guerrero vs. Ultimo Dragon (Slamboree, 5/17/98)

·         Saturn vs. Goldberg (Slamboree, 5/17/98)

·         Juventud Guerrera vs. Billy Kidman (Nitro, 5/25/98)

·         Booker T. vs. Chris Benoit (Thunder, 5/28/98)

·         Booker T. vs. Chris Benoit (Thunder, 6/4/98)

·         Booker T. vs. Chris Benoit (Great American Bash, 6/14/98)

·         Saturn vs. Kanyon (Great American Bash, 6/14/98)

·         Sting vs. The Giant (Great American Bash, 6/14/98)

·         Eddy Guerrero vs. Chris Benoit (Thunder, 6/18/98)

·         Chris Benoit vs. Bret Hart (Nitro, 6/22/98)

·         Chris Benoit and Mongo McMichael vs. The Boogie Knights (Thunder, 6/25/98)

·         Horace Hogan vs. Kanyon (Nitro, 6/29/98)

·         Eddy Guerrero vs. Little Dragon and the aftermath with Chavo Guerrero Jr. and Pepe (Nitro, 6/29/98)

·         Billy Kidman vs. Saturn (Thunder, 7/2/98)

·         Booker T. vs. Finlay (Thunder, 7/2/98)

·         Booker T. vs. Dean Malenko (Nitro, 7/6/98)

·         Kanyon vs. Raven (Nitro, 7/6/98)

·         Juventud Guerrera vs. Psicosis (Nitro, 7/6/98)

·         Goldberg vs. Hulk Hogan (Nitro, 7/6/98)

·         Raven and Horace Hogan vs. Saturn and Kanyon (Thunder, 7/9/98)

·         Chris Jericho vs. Ultimo Dragon (Thunder, 7/9/98)

·         Saturn vs. Raven (Bash at the Beach, 7/12/98)

·         Billy Kidman vs. Juventud Guerrera (Bash at the Beach, 7/12/98)

·         The Giant vs. Kevin Greene (Bash at the Beach, 7/12/98)

·         Kevin Nash and Sting vs. Scott Hall and the Giant (Nitro, 7/20/98)

·         Chris Jericho vs. Dean Malenko (Nitro, 7/27/98)

·         Barbarian vs. Diamond Dallas Page (Nitro, 8/3/98)

·         Eddy Guerrero vs. Juventud Guerrera (Nitro, 8/3/98)

·         Barbarian vs. Meng (Road Wild, 8/8/98)

·         Saturn vs. Raven vs. Kanyon (Road Wild, 8/8/98)

·         Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Chris Jericho (Thunder, 8/13/98)

·         Juventud Guerrera vs. Psicosis (Thunder, 8/20/98)

·         Curt Hennig vs. Chris Jericho (Nitro, 8/24/98)

·         Chris Jericho vs. Disco Inferno (Nitro, 8/31/98)

·         Raven vs. Meng à Saturn vs. Meng à Saturn vs. Kanyon (Thunder, 9/3/98)

·         Saturn vs. Raven (Fall Brawl, 9/13/98)

·         The Giant vs. Meng (Nitro, 9/14/98)

·         Sting vs. Goldberg (Nitro, 9/14/98)

·         Mike Enos vs. Lenny Lane (Thunder, 9/17/98)

·         Disco Inferno vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr. (Thunder, 9/24/98)

·         La Parka vs. Super Calo (Nitro, 9/28/98)

·         Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Billy Kidman (Thunder, 10/1/98)

·         Goldberg vs. Raven (Thunder, 10/1/98)

·         Diamond Dallas Page vs. Kanyon [plus the aftermath] (Nitro, 10/5/98)

·         Kanyon vs. Prince Iaukea (Thunder, 10/8/98)

·         Raven vs. Diamond Dallas Page (Thunder, 10/8/98)

·         Alex Wright vs. Finlay (Nitro, 10/12/98)

·         Chris Jericho vs. Diamond Dallas Page [and the aftermath] (Nitro, 10/19/98)

·         Rey Misterio Jr. vs. Super Calo (Thunder, 10/22/98)

·         Chris Jericho vs. Raven (Halloween Havoc, 10/25/98)

·         Wrath vs. Meng (Halloween Havoc, 10/25/98)

·         Disco Inferno vs. Juventud Guerrera (Halloween Havoc, 10/25/98)

·         Saturn vs. Eddy Guerrero [plus the aftermath] (Nitro, 11/2/98)

·         Rey Misterio Jr. vs. Psicosis (Nitro, 11/2/98)

·         Rey Misterio Jr. vs. Juventud Guerrera (Thunder, 11/12/98)

·         Juventud Guerrera vs. Billy Kidman (Nitro, 11/16/98)

·         Juventud Guerrera vs. Billy Kidman (World War 3, 11/22/98)

·         Billy Kidman vs. Rey Misterio Jr. (Nitro, 11/23/98)

·         Goldberg vs. the Giant (Nitro, 11/23/98)

·         Billy Kidman vs. Eddy Guerrero (Nitro, 11/30/98)

·         Mike Enos vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr. (Thunder, 12/3/98)

·         Rey Misterio Jr. vs. Villano V (Thunder, 12/3/98)

·         Silver King vs. Rey Misterio Jr. (Nitro, 12/7/98)

·         Norman Smiley vs. Kaz Hayashi (Thunder, 12/10/98)

·         Finlay vs. Mike Enos (Thunder, 12/17/98)

·         Eddy Guerrero vs. Rey Misterio Jr. (Nitro, 12/21/98)

·         The Giant vs. Diamond Dallas Page (Starrcade, 12/27/98)

 

[SirSmUgly]

I'm glad that this next list diversified in 1998; it was feeling like the Disco and Konnan list for awhile there. 

Charming Uniquities

Spoiler

o   Sabu vs. Alex Wright (Nitro, 9/11/95)

o   Johnny B. Badd vs. Brian Pillman (Fall Brawl, 9/17/95)

o   Disco Inferno vs. Sabu (Nitro, 10/30/95)

o   Disco Inferno vs. Paul Orndorff (Nitro, 12/11/95)

o   Disco Inferno vs. Sgt. Craig Pittman (Nitro, 6/3/96)

o   The Blue Bloods vs. Public Enemy (Nitro, 6/24/96)

o   Disco Inferno vs. Kurasawa (Nitro, 7/1/96)

o   Diamond Dallas Page vs. Hacksaw Jim Duggan (Bash at the Beach, 7/7/96)

o   Eddy Guerrero vs. Big Bubba (Nitro, 7/29/96)

o   Harlem Heat vs. The Rock ‘n Roll Express (Nitro, 8/5/96)

o   Lord Steven Regal vs. Randy Savage (Nitro, 8/5/96)

o   The Giant vs. Chris Benoit (Clash of the Champions 33, 8/15/96)

o   Hulk Hogan vs. Ric Flair (Clash of the Champions 33, 8/15/96)

o   Public Enemy vs. Juventud Guerrera and El Technico (Nitro, 9/30/96)

o   Lex Luger vs. Roadblock (Nitro, 10/21/96)

o   Super Calo vs. Konnan (Nitro, 1/13/97)

o   Konnan vs. Chris Benoit (Nitro, 2/3/97)

o   The Steiner Brothers vs. High Voltage (Nitro, 2/10/97)

o   Hugh Morrus and Konnan vs. Jeff Jarrett and Mongo McMichael + the post-match interview segment (Nitro, 3/3/97)

o   Kevin Sullivan (w/Jacqueline) vs. Hardbody Harrison (Nitro, 3/10/97)

o   Harlem Heat vs. Jeff Jarrett and Mongo McMichael (Nitro, 4/7/97)

o   The Steiner Brothers vs. Public Enemy [and eventually also Konnan and Hugh Morrus] (Nitro, 4/21/97)

o   Lord Steven Regal promo (Nitro, 5/12/97) and Lord Steven Regal vs. Ultimo Dragon (Slamboree, 5/18/97)

o   Mongo McMichael vs. Reggie White (Slamboree, 5/18/97)

o   Mongo McMichael and Jeff Jarrett vs. Harlem Heat [with excellent guest commentary from Kevin Greene] (Nitro, 5/19/97)

o   Akira Hokuto vs. Malia Hosaka [with post-match Madusa scrum] (Nitro, 6/9/97)

o   Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Syxx (Nitro, 6/23/97)

o   Kevin Nash vs. Rey Misterio Jr. (Nitro, 6/30/97)

o   Vicious and Delicious vs. Los Guerreros (Nitro, 7/7/97)

o   Jeff Jarrett vs. Ric Flair (Nitro, 7/14/97)

o   Alex Wright vs. Lord Steven Regal (Nitro, 9/15/97)

o   Disco Inferno vs. Jacquelyn (Halloween Havoc, 10/26/97)

o   Villanos IV and/or V vs. Diamond Dallas Page (Nitro, 11/17/97)

o   Scott Hall vs. Disco Inferno (Nitro, 12/1/97)

o   Chris Benoit vs. Billy Kidman (Nitro, 12/1/97)

o   Barbarian vs. John Nord (Nitro, 1/5/98)

o   Goldberg vs. Jerry Flynn (Nitro, 1/12/98)

o   The Giant vs. Lodi (Thunder, 1/15/98)

o   Rey Misterio Jr. vs. Juventud Guerrera (Thunder, 1/15/98)

o   Rick Martel vs. Eddy Guerrero (Nitro, 1/19/98)

o   Chris Benoit vs. Marty Jannetty (Nitro, 1/19/98)

o   Booker T. vs. Mortis (Nitro, 1/19/98)

o   Chris Jericho vs. Juventud Guerrera (Nitro, 1/19/98)

o   Scott Hall vs. Larry Zbyszko (Souled Out, 1/24/98)

o   Konnan vs. Jerry Flynn (Nitro, 1/26/98)

o   Mongo McMichael vs. Jim Neidhart (Thunder, 2/12/98)

o   Public Enemy vs. The Outsiders (Nitro, 2/16/98)

o   Konnan vs. British Bulldog (Nitro, 3/9/98)

o   Konnan vs. Chris Benoit (Thunder, 4/9/98)

o   Konnan vs. Rick Steiner (Nitro, 4/13/98)

o   Chris Jericho vs. Prince Iaukea (Spring Stampede, 4/19/98)

o   Barbarian and Hugh Morrus vs. Public Enemy (Nitro, 4/27/98)

o   Goldberg vs. La Parka (Nitro, 6/1/98)

o   Reese and Horace Hogan vs. Juventud Guerrera and Van Hammer (Nitro, 6/8/98)

o   Chris Jericho vs. Mini Misterio Jr. Impersonator (Thunder, 7/2/98)

o   Kanyon vs. Konnan (Thunder, 7/2/98)

o   Goldberg vs. Scott Hall (Nitro, 7/6/98)

o   Juventud Guerrera vs. Jerry Flynn (Nitro, 10/5/98)

o   Raven and Kanyon vs. Chris Benoit and Mongo McMichael (Thunder, 12/3/98)

o   Norman Smiley vs. Jerry Flynn (Thunder, 12/17/98)

o   Ernest Miller vs. Saturn (Starrcade, 12/27/98)

 

[SirSmUgly]

Chris Jericho dominated the newest entries for this list, obviously. 

HOLY SHIT, THAT WAS CLASSIC Promos, Spots, and Skits

Spoiler

§  Lex Luger invades Nitro (Nitro, 9/4/95)

§  Madusa dumps the WWF Women’s Championship in the trash (Nitro, 12/18/95)

§  Scott Hall invades Nitro (Nitro, 5/27/96)

§  Eric Bischoff gets powerbombed through the stage (Great American Bash, 6/16/96)

§  Hulk Hogan goes Hollywood heel (Bash at the Beach, 7/7/96)

§  Backstage attack by the nWo, complete with the Lawn Dart Incident (Nitro, 7/29/96)

§  DDP fakes out Nash and Hall, doesn’t join the nWo, hits Hall with a Diamond Cutter and jets (Nitro, 1/13/97)

§  In a now-popular GIF, someone tosses a drink at Hall, hits him in the head, and he just uses the soda that splashed on him to smooth out his hair while the rest of the nWo talks and talks and talks (Nitro, 3/17/97)

§  Booker T. tells Hulk Hogan that he’s COMIN’ FOR YOU, [racial slur that has been repurposed by the people the slur refers to]; Sherri busts a gut laughing at the faux pas. (Spring Stampede, 4/6/97)

§  The Dinner and a Movie Guys go nWo, DDP hands out some justice in response (Clash 35, 8/21/97)

§  Vulture Sting drops a note that he was supposed to bring to the ring, still rules the world (Clash 35, 8/21/97)

§  Goldberg claims his first victim, beats Hugh Morrus, goes streaking (Nitro, 9/22/97)

§  Randy Savage plays the long game, infects Ric Flair with the Madness, Flair disbands the Horsemen after driving the group into the ground with his leadership (Nitro, 9/29/97)

§  After the Giant wrestles Curt Hennig to a DQ victory, Sting brings his brand of justice to the nWo (Nitro, 9/29/97)

§  Raven halfway blinds Scotty Riggs (Nitro, 10/27/97)

§  Rick Rude shows up on Nitro, is also on a (taped) RAW at roughly the same time (Nitro, 11/17/97)

§  Raven attacks DDP with a stop sign and scares the shit out of a couple of Foo Fighters (MTV Total Request Live at some point between 3/16/98 and 3/19/98; airs on Thunder, 3/19/98)

§  Chris Jericho lists out most of the 1,004 holds that he knows (Nitro, 3/30/98)

§  Chris Jericho introduces the luchadores for a Cruiserweight battle royal, has jokes, also has a moment of shock when Ciclope unmasks and it’s Dean Malenko (Slamboree, 5/17/98)

§  Chris Jericho switches between seething hatred for and annoying obsequiousness toward J.J. Dillon while trying to get Dillon to overturn Dean Malenko’s Cruiserweight victory over him, cuts a killer promo in the process (Nitro, 5/26/98)

§  Chris Jericho writes Ted Turner about the WCW Cruiserweight Championship issue; it doesn’t go well for him (Nitro, 6/8/98)

§  Chris Jericho tries his own Goldberg-style ring entrance for a TV title defense against Wrath, locks himself out of the building, is eventually chased off by Wrath (Thunder, 9/10/98)

§  Saturn tricks Kanyon into thinking that Kanyon has Lodi’s protection, destroys Kanyon’s fingers, beats the crap out of the Flock, and has a fantastic final promo exchange with Raven about the future of the Flock (Thunder, 9/10/98)

§  Arn Anderson re-introduces Ric Flair to WCW; Flair goes off about Bischoff’s ABUSE OF POWER and it rules (Nitro, 9/14/98)

§ Flair tries to salvage the Bischoff feud by beating down a traitorous Barry Windham and then cutting a fiery promo to hype their Starrcade match (Nitro, 12/21/98)

 

[SirSmUgly]

It's kind of a bummer how few "good enough that you'd want to watch them again even if they're not the best of the best" skits and promos there were in 1998. 

Promos, Spots, and Skits that Aren’t Quite HOLY SHIT MOMENTS that Are Worth Watching/Adding to Your Playlist

Spoiler

§  Sting and Luger agree to a Chicago Street Fight against the Road Warriors, Luger is from the Chicago suburbs and doesn’t quite know what a Chicago Street Fight is (Nitro, 2/26/96)

§  Sting chews Luger out, shames Luger into better behavior (Nitro, 2/26/96)

§  Lex Luger has a grueling defense of his TV Title against Loch Ness (Nitro, 3/18/96)

§  The Giant chokeslams Lex Luger through a banquet table (Nitro, 5/13/96)

§  Ric Flair follows up a victory over Eddy Guerrero with a great run on commentary (Nitro, 5/20/96)

§  Lord Steven Regal interview with Gene Okerlund [BONUS: Video of Regal backhanding Sting’s very soul into dust] (Nitro, 6/3/96)

§  Scott Hall and Sting confrontation (Nitro, 6/3/96)

§  Kevin Nash wants you to look at the adjective verb PLAY (Nitro, 6/10/96)

§  Big Bubba is a real dick to John Tenta (Nitro, 6/17/96)

§  Hollywood Hogan’s first heel promo on Nitro [and WCW’s response] (Nitro, 7/15/96)

§  The Outsiders invade the control truck (Nitro, 7/22/96)

§  The Horsemen fuck up the Booty Man’s world and Arn cuts an awesome promo (Nitro, 8/5/96)

§  Early nWo paid-for promo/Sting and Luger run up on Craig Leathers in the production truck for playing the promo (Nitro, 8/5/96)

§  Hollywood Hogan and the nWo cut a promo backstage [and Hogan is good at it for maybe the only time in his whole nWo run] (Nitro, 8/12/96)

§  Sting and Lex Luger ask the Horsemen to be added to their War Games team (Nitro, 8/19/96)

§  Sting quits WCW because they really don’t appreciate him enough (Nitro, 9/16/96)

§  Hall and Nash formally invite DDP into the nWo for the first time (Nitro, 11/11/96)

§  Hall, Nash, Syxx, a Cable Ace Award, and some nWo sign-holding nerds harass Larry Zbyszko and talk themselves up in general (Nitro, 11/11/96)

§  Hall and Nash destroy two tag teams, then have a wild brawl with the Faces of Fear (Nitro, 11/18/96)

§  Masahiro Chono backstabs Sonny Onoo, starts nWo Japan (Nitro, 12/16/96)

§  Crow Sting shows up to help WCW, WCW is too stupid to accept it, Sting rolls out (Nitro, 12/16/96)

§  The Horsemen squabble after Benoit vs. Jarrett (Nitro, 1/13/97)

§  Scott Steiner tells Kevin Nash that “at Souled Out, there ain’t gonna be no basketball” in a promo (Nitro, 1/13/97)

§  The first of the “face comes to the ring and beats up jobbers” spots with Randy Savage, plus a bonus Sting appearance (Nitro, 1/20/97)

§  DDP fakes out the nWo again; the crowd loves it (Souled Out, 1/25/97)

§  The Giant appreciates Lex Luger’s faith in him, promises to win the tag belts for them both (Nitro, 2/10/97)

§  Mongo and Jarrett argue over Jarrett’s suitability for Horsemanship and the result of their SuperBrawl VII match (Nitro, 2/24/97)

§  Ric Flair saves a bad Piper promo segment with a very good promo about replacing Piper’s Family with the Horsemen at Uncensored ’97 (Nitro, 3/10/97)

§  Arn Anderson squashes beef with Kevin Sullivan, low-key retires (Nitro, 3/17/97)

§  Lord Regal cuts a promo, isn’t having any of those “planchas and hunnacanranas” in his matches! (Nitro, 3/31/97)

§  Debra is very mean, claims that Rocco Rock shaved his head because he didn’t know that a special shampoo for head lice existed, generally cuts a hilarious post-match promo (Nitro, 3/31/97)

§  Lord Steven Regal discusses the state of Sarah Ferguson’s vagina, job opportunities in the American Midwest, and Ultimo Dragon (Nitro, 4/21/97)

§  DDP dresses up as La Parka, surprises Randy Savage with a Diamond Cutter (Nitro, 7/7/97)

§  Stevie Richards negotiates Raven’s contract, does a poor job, means well (Nitro, 7/22/97)

§  Konnan insults Rey Misterio Jr., threatens Gene Okerlund, is generally hilarious (Nitro, 8/25/97)

§  Chris Jericho loses to Mongo, wakes up, throws a tantrum, and spoils Rey Misterio Jr.’s night with a sneak attack (Nitro, 1/12/98)

§  Kevin Nash cuts a fun promo on the Giant (Thunder, 1/22/98)

§  Kidman and Saturn jump Rick Martel backstage and toss him through a glass door, Barber Shop-style (Thunder, 1/22/98)

§  Randy Savage masters the art of sarcasm in what is a pretty great promo on Hulk Hogan (Nitro, 1/26/98)

§  Hall hits the sickest of burns on Larry Z. in his pre-match promo (“exposed like a pervert in a raincoat at a peep show”) (Nitro, 1/26/98)

§  Chris Jericho sends Lenny Lane out in a Juventud Guerrera match to pull a bait-and-switch on Dean Malenko (Thunder, 3/12/98)

§  Gene Okerlund destroys Dean Malenko after Malenko’s loss to Jericho (Uncensored, 3/15/98)

§  1) Nash and 2) Hall show up to Spring Breakout sauced, confront the Giant, and 1) escapes the Giant by bellyflopping into the pool while 2) is wedgied and tossed by the Giant into the pool (Nitro, 3/16/98)

§  Raven and Buff Bagwell have a match that is interrupted by Diamond Dallas Page, and everything up to Page’s promo is great (Nitro, 3/30/98)

§  Eddy Guerrero makes Chavo apologize to grandma for getting her kicked out of the Potluck Club (Nitro, 4/6/98)

§  Chris Jericho weighs Prince Iaukea, ends up attacking him with the weigh-in scale (Thunder, 4/9/98)

§  Chavo Jr. does a little slap-slap-kiss with Uncle Eddy after losing to Dean Malenko, but not in the usual romantic comedy way (Thunder, 5/21/98)

§  Lex Luger joins the nWo Wolfpac, the state of Indiana EXPLODES with joy (Nitro, 5/26/98)

§  Raven confronts Saturn after Saturn defeats Reese; Raven’s promo is both mean and compelling, and his Evenflow is devastating (Nitro, 6/29/98)

§  Be vewy vewy qwiet, Chavo’s hunting Uncle Eddy (and failing at it)! (Thunder, 7/2/98)

§  Lee Marshall interviews Konnan at the CompuServe desk, magic happens (Bash at the Beach, 7/12/98)

§  Chris Jericho baits-and-switches a gullible Fall Brawl crowd, beats up mini-Goldberg, celebrates with a foam world title (Fall Brawl, 9/13/98)

§  Chris Jericho makes his entrance to rematch mini-Goldberg, ends up having to hightail it away from the real deal (Nitro, 9/28/98)

§  Raven cuts a riotous promo in which he accuses his mother of aspiring to outdo Judy Bagwell on WCW television (Nitro, 12/21/98)

 

[SirSmUgly]

I struggled with quite a few promos and segments that were straddling the border between joining this list and joining the next list. 

HOLY SHIT, THAT WAS DUMB (BUT ENTERTAINING) MOMENTS

Spoiler

v  The Giant runs over Hulk Hogan’s motorcycle (Nitro, 9/18/95)

v  Old Woman Sullivan and the Giant beat Hulk Hogan up and shave a Hitler mustache into his face (Nitro, 10/2/95)

v  Sister Sherri/Colonel Rob Parker marriage ceremony (Clash of the Champions 32, 1/23/96)

v  Miss Elizabeth’s high heel starts a run of victories that even Goldberg would be jealous of (Nitro, 1/29/96)

v  Kevin Greene and Mongo McMichael talk wrestling strategy (Nitro, 6/3/96)

v  The Steiner Brothers commentate as the BLUE BLOODS EXPLODE and also recite a few nursery rhymes (Nitro, 8/26/96)

v  A Four Horsemen promo happens and Chris Benoit tells Mongo McMichael to talk to the hand (Nitro, 12/23/96)

v  Renegade really dicks over his partner Joe Gomez on the hot tag (Nitro, 3/17/97)

v  The IT’S WCW/nWo UNCENSORED promo, complete with lots of dumb rhymes and Wrath mouthing the line RULES ARE FOR FOOLS (SuperBrawl VII, Nitro, and Thunder in February and March of 1998)

v  Florida Man jumps Raven while Raven sits in the corner of the ring and soliloquizes (Thunder, 4/9/98)

v  Randy Savage cuts a promo, appears to be confused about how “did” and “did not” are defined; also is unsure of which species of bird an “icon” is. (Thunder, 5/21/98)

v  Judy Bagwell confronts her fuck-up son, parents in the only way a Southern woman in her fifties would know how at the time (through physical violence), scores a big pop (Nitro, 10/5/98)

v  Ernest Miller insults the crowd, insults Santa, is beaten up by Santa because it’s Saturn in the Santa suit (Nitro, 12/21/98)

 

[SirSmUgly]

Eric Bischoff and Hulk Hogan are promo terrorists. 

THE ABSOLUTE DIRT WORST

Spoiler

v  Roddy Piper accepts Hulk Hogan’s challenge for SuperBrawl VII (Nitro, 2/3/97)

v  Randy Anderson wants his job back, needs to feed his fam’ly (Nitro 2/10/97)

v  Roddy Piper and Hulk Hogan nonsensically insult one another (Nitro, 2/10/97)

v  Benoit ignores the cues to shut the fuck up, keeps cutting a terrible promo instead (Nitro, 2/17/97)

v  Roddy Piper in Alcatraz (Nitro, 2/17/97)

v  Roddy Piper tries out wrestlers to be members of his Family, some of the worst television of all time ensues (Nitro, 3/3/97)

v  Hogan responds to Piper; it’s bad (Nitro, 3/3/97)

v  Roddy Piper is heated about everyone hating the Piper’s Family Tryout segment, cuts an awful promo about it (Nitro, 3/10/97)

v  Randy Savage taunts DDP and Kimberly into shame and rage by pointing out a centerfold that Kimberly was super-excited and proud to do (Uncensored, 3/16/97)

v  Ric Flair, two ladies, and a dummy dressed like Roddy Piper (Nitro, 6/30/97)

v  The nWo dresses up like the Four Horsemen and put on a sub-Family Guy level skit (Nitro, 9/1/97)

v  Right after that sketch, everyone tries to get Chavo’s title shot; it’s incredibly stupid (Nitro, 9/1/97)

v  The Sting dummy falls from the rafters: Act I (Nitro, 9/8/97)

v  The Sting dummy falls from the rafters: Act II (Nitro, 11/24/97)

v  The unfortunate pilot episode of nWo Nitro (Nitro, 12/22/97)

v  Bret Hart’s Starrcade debut comes as part of a diabolically awful Larry Zbyszko vs. Eric Bischoff match (Starrcade, 12/28/97)

v  Hogan vs. Sting, the “fast” count, and the Montreal Screwjob callback (Starrcade, 12/28/97)

v  The just-as-bad Hogan/Sting rematch the next night on Nitro (Nitro, 12/29/97)

v  Sting is visually pinned for a three-count in his third straight match back from a year-plus-long layoff (Nitro, 2/2/98)

v  I hated all the Nick Patrick, Evil Ref drama, so here’s one in-ring promo with Patrick and J.J. Dillon that stands in as a representative of all that garbage (Nitro, 2/9/98)

v  Sting finally gets his “huge win” over Hogan, but the focus is on Nick Patrick turning babyface, Randy Savage being nutty, and Sting selling a lot for Hogan’s offense (SuperBrawl VIII, 2/22/98)

v  Hogan proceeds to cut a vile promo on the Wolfpac while standing next to Dennis Rodman, doesn’t know any black people, compensates by coming up with substitute slang that sounds appropriate for a white guy from Florida with zero black friends or acquaintances (Nitro, 6/8/98)

v  Hogan, Piper, and Savage have what is a legitimate candidate for the worst promo battle of all-time (Nitro, 6/8/98)

v  Eric Bischoff insists on interviewing Scott Steiner; both men proceed to stink up the arena (Nitro, 6/15/98)

v  Eric Bischoff fails at being a late-night comedian: Act I (Nitro, 6/29/98)

v  Eric Bischoff fails at being a late-night comedian: Act II (Nitro, 7/20/98)

v  Eric Bischoff fails at being a late-night comedian: Act III (Nitro, 7/27/98)

v  Eric Bischoff fails at being a late-night comedian: Act IV (Nitro, 8/3/98)

v  Eric Bischoff roleplays a conversation between DDP and Kimberly after the nWo attacks them both, is a driver of traffic to the USA Network. (Nitro, 8/3/98)

v  Eric Bischoff fails at being a late-night comedian: Act V (Thunder, 8/5/98)

v  Eddy Guerrero threatens to quit, cuts a truly awful promo while doing so (Nitro, 8/17/98)

v  Buff Bagwell pretends to be Rick Steiner, joins Scott Steiner and a fake doctor in cutting a shitty promo (Nitro, 8/24/98)

v  Hulk Hogan and Bret Hart vs. Lex Luger and Sting (with “bonus” Disciple and Warrior run-ins) represents a new nadir for Nitro main events (Nitro, 8/31/98)

v  Silver King uses a chair as a springboard, gets DQ’d, everyone (except the ref) in the ring is confused because that wasn’t meant to be a spot that someone gets DQ’d for (Thunder, 9/10/98)

v  Buff Bagwell fakes a neck injury during the Steiner Brothers EXPLODING match; after an extremely long and extremely boring stretcher job, they finally do the swerve that everyone saw coming and attack Rick. (Fall Brawl, 9/13/98)

v  A War Games with three teams of three, pinfalls attempts allowed, and no Match Beyond (Fall Brawl, 9/13/98)

v  Warrior kidnaps Disciple, prepares to take him somewhere and defile him (Nitro, 9/14/98)

v  Scott Hall is a drunk while wrestling Lex Luger, spews all over Eric Bischoff, is booked to exploit his IRL illness (Nitro, 9/14/98)

v  Scott Hall’s alcoholism blows up a tag match with Stevie Ray against Konnan and Kevin Nash (Thunder, 9/17/98)

v  Warrior just misses the cutoff for “so dumb, it’s fun” and spearheads a merely dumb sketch with a disappearing Disciple and an obvious rubber dummy. (Nitro, 9/21/98)

v  Warrior does some Dollar Store Undertaker parlor tricks in the backstage area, freaks out that dope Hogan (Nitro, 9/21/98)

v  Ernest Miller and Lenny Lane suck at pro wrestling; Scott Hall comes out, does drunk shit, helps Ernest Miller and Lenny Lane torpedo this already awful segment (Nitro, 9/21/98)

v  Hulk Hogan just misses the cutoff for “so audaciously dumb, it’s fun” and cuts a merely dumb promo in which he claims to have gone to a neighborhood full of black people of his own free will and also claims that said black people called him “’Wood.” Also, he wants to be called “Woody,” like Allen, Harrelson, or what you might call an erect penis in slang. No, I did not make any of this up. (Nitro, 9/28/98)

v  Warrior’s response to the Hogan promo is merely bad without any of the audaciousness that got me to laugh incredulously (Nitro, 9/28/98)

v  In the latest nadir for Nitro main events, Bret Hart completes an obvious swerve, we get the only Hogan/Hitman match that we’d get from WCW, and that match is cut off halfway through so that Sting can finish it and we can get your typical nWo bullshit. (Nitro, 9/28/98)

v  After Hogan tails the Disciple following a bad Disciple/Lenny Lane match, the Warrior shows up in Hulk Hogan’s mirror; Bischoff is the only guy who can’t see him and therefore is the deluded one in this sketch that failed even the most basic logical scrutiny (Nitro, 10/5/98)

v  Bischoff insists on dragging out this “Horsemen are banned” angle, loses a fight to Reid Flair in the center of the ring, keeps talking and talking and talking (very poorly) afterward until Papa Flair finally shows up to do something remotely entertaining (Nitro, 10/5/98)

v  Bischoff centers himself with interviews and angles and getting arrested, and every single promo and segment that he is a part of absolutely fucking SUCKS (Nitro, 10/12/98)

v  Chucky the murderous living doll just barely, and I mean just barely, misses the cutoff for “so dumb, it’s fun” and spearheads a merely dumb sketch in which he insults Gene Okerlund and Rick Steiner. (Nitro, 10/12/98)

v  Scott Steiner and the Giant vs. Rick Steiner and Buff Bagwell, followed by Rick Steiner vs. Scott Steiner, followed by the WCW Tag Titles being booked into the ground (Halloween Havoc, 10/25/98)

v  Bret Hart vs. Sting is merely crappy and disappointing, but it directly precedes Hulk Hogan vs. Ultimate Warrior, which is all-time terrible, so let’s just induct them as a duo of big match disappointment (Halloween Havoc, 10/25/98)

v  Hulk Hogan chooses to work out his jealousy toward Jesse Ventura’s then-vibrant political career by announcing his candidacy for POTUS, Part I (Nitro, 11/9/98)

v  The Disciple gets mic time for some reason, is joined by Horace Hogan, Stevie Ray, Vincent, and the Warrior for a disastrously bad segment (Nitro, 11/9/98)

v  Eric Bischoff puts himself over by beating up some guys from Turner legal (Nitro, 11/9/98)

v  Try as she might, Judy Bagwell can’t save a terrible segment in which she and Rick Steiner challenge Scott Steiner and Buff Bagwell to a tag title match (Nitro, 11/9/98)

v  Hulk Hogan chooses to work out his jealousy toward Jesse Ventura’s then-vibrant political career by announcing his candidacy for POTUS, Part II (Nitro, 11/16/98)

v  There’s a Flair heart attack angle; it sucks (Nitro, 12/14/98)

v  There’s an angle where Bischoff feigns sympathy for Flair’s heart attack and then beats up David; it sucks (Thunder, 12/17/98)

v  Ric Flair vs. Eric Bischoff (Starrcade, 12/27/98)

v  Flair spends two segments shedding clothes and reading labels to get around to challenging Bischoff to a career vs. control of WCW rematch; Bischoff comes out and only makes things worse by being bad at talking during the second segment (Nitro, 12/28/98)