Grand Theft Auto V Talk.

[J.T.]

Yeah, I was about to go grab a beverage and watch RAW and then we were all REGULATORS~! and the shit hit the fan.  Chasey Boy was legit but his back-up of randoms definitely had no heart.

 

Chasey finally had enough after he figured out that normal players did not make the best allies and Robert, Melraz, and I were getting totally Hounds of Justice on his ass.  He made a run for the tarmac, grabbed a Buzzard, and flew to Blaine County to find easier prey.

 

I don't think anyone came south to the airport for as long as we were in that session.   Rob had to bail when his wife got home (wise!) and I bailed because I am old and need regular sleep (also wise!).  I call bullshit on Allegra being non-drowsy.  I took one so that my allergies would't ravage me overnight and passed the fuck out thirty minutes later right after RAW went off.

[Robert C]

Went from needin 85 kills to 8 kills to get the lspd on my assault mg tonight. If I wouldnta sucked so dalm bad in that last free mode ass kickin that I received I woulda got it. Oh well some unfortunate sum bitch will get busted and make it happen the next time I'm on. Tried like crazy to get a bad rep point tonight and ended up gettin a friend request from the fucker I was tryin to piss off. It's a long story and if I can member It tomorrow I'll try to tell it but till then this ol' boys gotta get his purdy sleep and I need bunches. Hopefully can see youinz tomorrow night. Might hafta put an ambian in the boss lady's sweet tea so I can get on and raise some hell with my fellow DVDR brothas. But if not raise hell shoot straight watch each others back and above all else represent the best dalm crew in gta. Just member WE ARE THE D.V.D.R. AND WE ARE THAT DALM GOOD.

 

I got my LSPD tint for the assault MG while we were tangling with that last bunch after I got back online.  I suggested some reverse psychology to melraz with one guy that he'd been fucking with forever and killing in every horrible way imaginable.  He sent the guy a request for positive feedback.  I was figuring that would have the opposite effect, and the guy would finally give melraz his beloved negative rep, but it backfired - instead the guy decided melraz was his big brother or something.  My favorite part was when he started complaining to melraz about me:

       random guy:  your friend keeps killing me

       melraz:  well, go kill him back

       random guy:  he blew up my car (which I technically hadn't done yet, though there was a sticky on the back of it)

       melraz:  go get another one

       random guy:  he blew up all of them

 

 

I hate to admit it, but 4-Way Madness is definitely a lot more fun when we're blowing each other to pieces with rockets.

 

Though it is way easier to set personal bests when it is a straight race

 

Last night was probably the closest I have ever come to joining the nonsense in freemode.

 

I was signing off and I hear melraz yell "FUCK YOU CHASEY BOY!!! COME GET SOME YOU BASTARD!!!!" and I was like "aww... hell..." and then JT goes "Guess I am not signing off..."

 

Not that I would have been very helpful due to all the tears in my eyes from all the laughing I was doing

 

 

I was cracking up listening to melraz' commentary.  I think he had at least half a dozen kills while I was still stuck in the cloud.  I think he pretty much quoted Hudson's final line from Aliens - "Come on! Come on! Come and get it, baby! Come on! I don't got all day! Come on! Come on! Come on you bastard! Come on, you too! Oh, you want some of this? Fuck you! "

[J.T.]

We have done so many deathmatches with normal pistols that I got the Army tint for the basic nine mil a couple of days ago.  I was speechless.

 

I have followed Robert's example and re-purchased the Assault SMG so that I can work towards the SMG Head medals.  I was sorta hoping that Chasey Boy was going to attack us with his Buzzard since I am one RPG kill away from the Bronze medal.

[RIPPA]

OH!

 

Speaking of deathmatches

 

I was all prepared to say that Area 53 can go fuck itself but it was able to move into the "If I never play this again that is fine by me" territory

[J.T.]

I was also prepared to hate on Area 53 because I generally hate all player created content that is not our stuff, but I was pleasantly shocked by how sorta not shitty it actually was. 

 

I was actually impressed by the minimalism approach to the weapons and armor.  Less was more.  I got to spend more time fighting and less time worrying about getting shot while running for better weaponry. 

 

My only criticism was the lack of ammo reload spots for the forced weapons.  I saw plenty of spots to get a sniper rifle or an RPG, but IIRC there was no way to get more ammo for your Advanced Rifle other than dying and getting the Loser Reload Perk..  I heard Mark comment, "Please kill me because I need more bullets," more than once.

 

That being said yeah, it would not break my heart to never ever play on that map ever again.

[odessasteps]

Eventually, the only thing we will not have done are plane races, LMS and Captures.

[RIPPA]

I did appreciate the irony of doing Top Fun II last night when Dan wasn't around

[J.T.]

I did appreciate the irony of doing Top Fun II last night when Dan wasn't around

 

The irony was complete when the runners won by getting to the destination and not by the hunters crashing their fighter jets.  The fact that we lept our planes in the air was a small victory.

 

I had missle lock on Melraz for a second right before he got to the bridge, but my turn was too aggressive and I lost the tone. At least we got one of 'em.

[melraz09]

Man that lil feller wouldn't quit tryin to be my brother. The first text he sent said f.u. ..... what's that mean......f**k you........w**t that mean.....why you kill me........why not. Then I kinda thought I'm done killin em. I saluted him he then texted thanks.......your welcome. That's when he started messaging me bout Robert. I ended up gettin him in the car with me then got out and shot him. He asked why......that guys my brother your shootin at........we could be brothers.....I like "weed" (that was his crew) but I'm not in that crew. Then he starts sendin me messages over Xbox. Can we be bro's I didn't respond just saluted him again DOES THAT MEAN YES another xbox message. I didn't respond and after several minutes maybe hours shit I dunno hid last message I don't guess we're brothers are we. Poor lil lost pup. But I ain't no dalm animal shelter. All I do is spay and neuter bitches. Don't raise em.

[J.T.]

I was cracking up listening to melraz' commentary.  I think he had at least half a dozen kills while I was still stuck in the cloud.  I think he pretty much quoted Hudson's final line from Aliens - "Come on! Come on! Come and get it, baby! Come on! I don't got all day! Come on! Come on! Come on you bastard! Come on, you too! Oh, you want some of this? Fuck you! "

 

Yeah, I knew once Melraz started shooting, I knew I was going to be online for a bit longer..  No man left behind...

 

Chasey Boy was a fucking handful.

[jstout]

I got my LSPD tint for the assault MG while we were tangling with that last bunch after I got back online.  I suggested some reverse psychology to melraz with one guy that he'd been fucking with forever and killing in every horrible way imaginable.  He sent the guy a request for positive feedback.  I was figuring that would have the opposite effect, and the guy would finally give melraz his beloved negative rep, but it backfired - instead the guy decided melraz was his big brother or something.  My favorite part was when he started complaining to melraz about me:

       random guy:  your friend keeps killing me

       melraz:  well, go kill him back

       random guy:  he blew up my car (which I technically hadn't done yet, though there was a sticky on the back of it)

       melraz:  go get another one

       random guy:  he blew up all of them

 

This sums up the "Randoms vs. Robert" experience. I've been known to blow up a car or two, but I'm an amateur compared to Dr. Deathmatch. I wish I had the common sense to pull off putting a sticky bomb on a car and blowing it up when the player gets back in it, but I never remember to do that. I usually just like blowing up the shiny too much.

 

My 11-hour workday made me miss all the fun.

 

Edit: Mel, what level was this dood? So you never talked to him? Sounds like a kid.

[melraz09]

I wasn't gonna shoot first but one of them sum bitches looked at me. And he had a gun out.

[J.T.]

I almost forgot the best part about Sunday which makes me think that Rob will get his dunce cap any day.

 

I got capped and went to retrieve my Sultan from the Police Impound after avenging myself and made the mistake of telling Rob that there were two player POV's there in the lock-up.   Rob then meets me at the impound yard and proceeds to blow up the player owned Adders. 

 

That was mean.... and funny.

 

I wasn't gonna shoot first but one of them sum bitches looked at me. And he had a gun out.

 

That sounds like self defense to me.  Gun out is more than enough reason enough for me to shoot first.

[melraz09]

He was in the upper 80's I as thinkin. I didn't talk to him just texts. Yeah I'd say he was just a lil lost pup lookin for a home. But I left his ass out in the streets. I mayhap throw em a bone if I see em again. But it'll have a sticky bomb inside of it.

[Robert C]

I almost forgot the best part about Sunday which makes me think that Rob will get his dunce cap any day.

 

I got capped and went to retrieve my Sultan from the Police Impound after avenging myself and made the mistake of telling Rob that there were two player POV's there in the lock-up.   Rob then meets me at the impound yard and proceeds to blow up the player owned Adders. 

 

That was mean.... and funny.

 

 

Well, nobody was coming after us, so I thought I'd drum up a little interest.  I'm a good boy though.  I still get to the $2000 bonuses that tel me so.

 

 

I got my LSPD tint for the assault MG while we were tangling with that last bunch after I got back online.  I suggested some reverse psychology to melraz with one guy that he'd been fucking with forever and killing in every horrible way imaginable.  He sent the guy a request for positive feedback.  I was figuring that would have the opposite effect, and the guy would finally give melraz his beloved negative rep, but it backfired - instead the guy decided melraz was his big brother or something.  My favorite part was when he started complaining to melraz about me:

       random guy:  your friend keeps killing me

       melraz:  well, go kill him back

       random guy:  he blew up my car (which I technically hadn't done yet, though there was a sticky on the back of it)

       melraz:  go get another one

       random guy:  he blew up all of them

 

This sums up the "Randoms vs. Robert" experience. I've been known to blow up a car or two, but I'm an amateur compared to Dr. Deathmatch. I wish I had the common sense to pull off putting a sticky bomb on a car and blowing it up when the player gets back in it, but I never remember to do that. I usually just like blowing up the shiny too much.

 

My 11-hour workday made me miss all the fun.

 

Edit: Mel, what level was this dood? So you never talked to him? Sounds like a kid.

 

 

Funny thing was, melraz killed him a shitload more times than I did, and in hilarious ways too.  multiple iterations of the old lure guy into a car, jump out, shoot him trick.  Him sticky bombing the guy's getaway plane was the best though.

[RUkered]

Even though I hate that I didn't get my crap finished in time to hop on, it's damn near just as fun reading everybody's posts about what happened. This is my favorite thread in the history of the Internet.

[Robert C]

Shit, I forgot the best username ever last night.  poopindatoilet.  He and his buddy were kicking my ass pulling the reverse trick in an Entity till I managed to get an RPG into it.  Then melraz killed them a bunch, and I got a few in as well.  he sent us both a gg text before taking off, and both of us complimented him on his awesome username.  We parted with a feeling of mutual respect - a brotherhood of warriors separated by fate and crew as we traveled the urban wastelands of LS.

[jstout]

Sorry, but poopindatoilet isn't as good as duckonquack. 

 

I think duckonquack is the only player name outside of ours that I remember. It's really true that they all blend in.

 

And I used to wait until people shot first (and they almost always did), but I'm so twitchy these days I'm like "WHITE DOT! KILL IT!" (opens fire). That's what happened in my much-hell-given-over kill of Lance Armstrong a while back. I go toward white dot, I see white dot, and I'm firing on him while I'm processing "hey, dood's on a bicycle." Of course after killing him, I thought "gotta ride off on his bike," but it wouldn't let me.

 

i do like getting in the car with a random 'cause you never know what's gonna happen and what's the worst that can happen? If they start killing you, either kill back or leave the session. Usually they just want you to be the pistolman while they wheel up on someone.

[J.T.]

Most gamertags blend in unless it meets the criteria of my Standard Order list.

 

I forget the name of the kid that Melraz and I fired on to miss on purpose so that he'd attempt to flee in the the Simeon's I/E car that I had wired with an ignition bomb... which he did 

 

That shit was priceless.  You'd have to hate yourself for falling into such an obvious trap.  My Unsporting% went up 8% during my serial car bombing days.

 

To paraphrase The Mandarin fron Iron Man 3, some people call us terrorists.  We consider ourselves to be teachers.

 

First lesson; never accept what the enemy offers you.

[jstout]

Second lesson: Passive mode doesn't necessarily mean you're safe. Not by a longshot.

[Robert C]

Sorry, but poopindatoilet isn't as good as duckonquack. 

 

I think duckonquack is the only player name outside of ours that I remember. It's really true that they all blend in.

 

And I used to wait until people shot first (and they almost always did), but I'm so twitchy these days I'm like "WHITE DOT! KILL IT!" (opens fire). That's what happened in my much-hell-given-over kill of Lance Armstrong a while back. I go toward white dot, I see white dot, and I'm firing on him while I'm processing "hey, dood's on a bicycle." Of course after killing him, I thought "gotta ride off on his bike," but it wouldn't let me.

 

i do like getting in the car with a random 'cause you never know what's gonna happen and what's the worst that can happen? If they start killing you, either kill back or leave the session. Usually they just want you to be the pistolman while they wheel up on someone.

 

I forgot about duckonquack.  That was good.  wombatjuice was nice as well.

 

The Lance Armstrong thing has me thinking there ought to be an exception to the don't shoot bicyclists rule - any bicyclist in a yellow shirt should be shot on sight.  That may only apply to me though, since we're inundated with Armstrong shit here, and half the cyclists on the roads think they're him.

[RIPPA]

I'm home today since I am expecting the maitence guys and my kid has a doctor's appointment this afternoon.

 

Hopped on just to sell a car and to deliver a car for Simeon.

 

Saw stout online but I knew my time was limited.

Did go and update my outfit and hair to continue to work towards that award.

Bought a beanie. Immediately hated myself for it.

[J.T.]

WHY DO YOU INSIST ON WEARING HATS~! 

 

Just go with sunglasses or something!

 

I am getting out if here around 2PM because I have to get my car inspected and then I have to roll over to the 'rents to pick up some mail.  I should be online and murderin' by 5PM.

[odessasteps]

We need to see Phil's character in a trilby.

[J.T.]

That is not gangsta.