piranesi

I think that is topped by the loooooong scene where Charlie O'Connel is selling his injured leg by moaning through an entire scene where they are helping him back to a boat. Read this rhythmically, like the beat of a techno song: "Ow Ow ow Oh Oh Oh Oooh ow ow Oh Oh OOOW Ow OW Oh Mah Mah Mah Oh Ow Ow Ow Ow Ow Ow Ow Ow Oh Oh Ow Ow Oh Oh"

Love. hearts. crinkly bows.

Does knowing him from NXT make someone a smart? Shouldn't you at least need to chant IRS, IRS or have a sign saying: "Irwin declared you!" to qualify for that?

What you are asking for seems impossible, like some super-responsible fandom where everyone is not only reacting but trying to guage how best to help the good guys (the workers) or how to send the right message to the bad guy (Vince). That's like trying to enforce the rules of March Madness. Wrestling is pretty unique in the crowd interaction. It is something that would kill most other types of theater because they don't know how or can't respond to it. It's a huge wild card in this type of show. Thing is, that is the logical result of how the company alternately ignores or uses crowd reactions to change things or force things through. In a way Vince has left the door open to the notion that crowd response can be martialed to affect things (Fandango's push maybe?) but at the same time he fucking hates the crowd for not doing what he wants them to. This board is kind of the same. The crowd is ruining everything! But the thing is, they are the only truly real thing in the show. The one thing you can't book totally and can't fake (at least until post production and Coliseum Home Video). They are the reality that the bookers have to work through. I don't know where I'm going with this. But, there is probably a way in which coming to terms and rolling with "the crowd" without getting pissy about them is the most important step in being a professional wrestler. But it's not a step I have to take because I'm not a professional wrestler...so fuck the crowd. Or not.... Goddamn it.

Tensai was a great example of someone doomed by the 50/50 midcard booking. You can't bring in a monster and make people take him seriously with that going on. You can't bring him in and have him work midcard guys, because then he has to lose half his matches and is immediately "just another one of the boys."So, what's left? Have him squash the same jobbers that Ryback and Brodus squashed? Everyone knows that means nothing. Everyone squashes those guys. So, what's left? The only way to even try to get him taken seriously then is to jump him right up to Cena...and then he's jobbed out ASAP because...Cena.Without the willingness to let people climb the midcard and beat everyone there, or to have feuds end decisively with one guy moving up and another down, a monster like Tensai was doomed from the start.

But, that second example is a good reason maybe the chants aren't that bad. I mean, fuck Vince for rapackaging Ricky Steamboat of all people as if his past never existed. He's Ricky Fucking Steamboat and we know he's Ricky Fucking Steamboat.

Is part of this that the writers now rely on talking rather than good story to get people over? The wrestlers shouldn't have to lift all the weight. If the story is good, a short reaction promo is all that's needed, but if you're whole popularity scale is based only on who is the most clever smartass, then you rely on 20 minute vlog promos and you end up with feuds like Cena/Rock where the whole story is "Did you hear what he said!!!???" "Yeah! But did you hear what HE SAID BACK!!!????" OMG WHAT WILL SOMEONE SAY NEXT WEEK!!!!!!!!!!!. "If you need to shoot, shoot. Don't talk." Tuco

He was a disrespectful ass, wasn't he? Just sidling up next to the regulars and pretending he was above scale. Good call, Doc.

Why would anyone protest Albert? He's great? Brodus us useless. If they could just have two dudes who can move like Albert they'd have a nice hoss team that wouldn't have to do comedy.

Like a wood nymph?

So needlessly cruel. I've missed you!

We need the archive of the old board so we don't lose things like the Frances Bay, Denver Pyle (courtesy of Ziedler), Ian Wolfe tributes aka "Actors who were never not old."

Was Dory a heel champ during his NWA run? Because that's some awesome subtle way to push that...as a concern troll question like that.

"anything that could upset the PC brigade" = "anything violently homophobic" Goddammit, Regal.

Cosmic Cow agrees.

Awesome. When you see Dean Ambrose backstage, can you pass him a note for me? FSW/PUNK won't do it. Here's the note:

So is Randy Orton. JK! I don't disagree, but it's funny he was just saying the exact same words in that interview from before the board went away.

http://youtu.be/2bXUWsBcbSA The song itself just sounds like the music you would hear when Jeff Bridges was on a stakeout in 8 MILLION WAYS TO DIE...but the opening is so great.

Wait, so the Shield are in the Wade Barrett memorial slot? And no Dean Am? But The Summer of Shield! This is all falling apart. Next thing you'll tell me is that Dolph has suddenly gotten boring...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

I'm on board with Ryback selling fake injuries while still beating people with all his old moves, but acting like it's harder than it is. I know there have been a ton of heels with fake injury casts, vests, helmets. But has their been one who spends every match pretending to be hurt, like limping around, but still beating people up? Just wanting people to treat him like a hero. For it to work, he needs a manager to rub his leg and act concerned about him and give interviews about how brave he is. Just reason 1005 we need Heenan back. Setting up the Yes Lock with Bryan's double kick to Christian's arm as it was draped against the steps was so amazing. And then Ch did that shit where he "sold" it when he was just walking around doing nothing, but it didn't actually affect his offense. He even did the spear with the same shoulder and later used it to throw Bryan off of him. Come on, son. Read the diagrams. "Never trust a Neidhart."

It's less unsanitary than, say, Bikram yoga.

If you're a girl maybe. It's a testosterone crucible...and it looks super clear to me.

Lanny's facial hair lent itself to all the best gimmicks. You can't beat good genetics.

Pepsi has a new commerical with a CGI dancing baby. Hey, it's 1998 everyone! Please yet Y2K kill us all!

8:25 Louis C.K. and his daughter? apparently running the MRI scanner. Meaner alternate joke: 8:25 Louis C.K. showing AJ Lee the results of her MRI.