piranesi

AND IT SHALL HAVE ITS REVENGIS!!!!!

You forgot the big one Fox has:

Just pretend it is an intentional mistake. Since it does fit a thread about Meltzer. This makes me wonder what it might look life for cool arrow to try and read the newsletter itself.

Gotcha!

Again there's a process and, you know...we'll see how that all goes. Process.

And like all good citizens of The Game, they understand that. Unlike some filthy Piratey hippies lately. But this guy gets it. Good work, Netizen!

Yikes. If you asked me "Where would you be safe in an earthquake" I would probably say "Out in the middle of nowhere, like in a forest or little valley in Alaska or something, with nothing but a small cabin nearby." So much for that I guess.

Why is someone commemorating the Stephanie/AJ confrontation from a few months ago?

I didn't see tonight's episode, but as to this first point, I think that last week Dexter regressed quite a bit. The way things worked out with Deb helping him, and them together helping Vogel caused him to sort of relapse into the comfort of the way things were. He seemed so happy to be a monster if that meant he got to follow his impulses and now have his sister totally on board with him. It was like a binge eater stumbling into a big fluffly bag of white powdered mini donuts (God, I love those things). All that work and figuring things out and DDP yoga is out the fucking window because you're home again. So, in a way this new kid pops up at the worst possible time. A week earlier and he might not have been so eager to re-embrace the idea of the domesticated monster, and maybe a few weeks from now he won't be again. But just right now, he's swimming in mini-donuts and it feels so perfect and loverly and mommy and sister and everyone is right where he always wanted them to be. From that standpoint i think it works.

At my local Big Lots this fine lazy Sunday: DO THE THING!!!!!!!! MAXIMUM POWER, GENE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Holy crap is the sexy new vampire lady that owns Jason Stackhouse now the hottest person to have ever been on TRUE BLOOD? She was also House's wife/maid on HOUSE when he married her to help her get her greencard. She's Melisandre-esque in this.

Jesus, what did Lawler just whisper to that poor guy?

Stray Cats, US Festival (1983): I kick my 12-year-old self for not recognizing then how fucking cool Brian Setzer was. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NwRhFSH3qwg

I was originally going to post some fun, wacky connections between the various people involved in the latest 80s B-movie to show up in the EPIX DRIVE-IN rotation...1987's BEACH BALLS...It seemed an easy one. I mean, we don't even have to start the movie and we already have a clever pun that reminds us of that beach balls are both inflatable toys to play with at the ocean, and sweaty testicles to play with at the ocean. Genius, right? Two things we need to note right to start with. This is a Roger Corman production. And this movie does not have a Wiki page. That is amazing. I have never encountered this. There is a Wiki-Wiki for EVERYTHING. The IMDB page is also woefully under-informative. It is directed by Joe Ritter who is sadly not related to John Ritter because there is nothing better than the floundering career of someone famous' brother (I'm looking at you, Jim Hanks). But Joe Ritter is Schlocky royalty, as he wrote the screenplay for the original TOXIC AVENGER and was a regular camera dude on a ton of actual movies. But I had a hard time finding any cool people in this movie. Other than one of the main dudes I think was the guy that Bill Murray was shocking at the beginning of GHOSTBUSTERS when he was hitting on Gwendoline Pierce (Jennifer Runyon). And one of the female leads went on to direct a Skinemax late-night series called LIFE ON TOP which is on every single night. Not much to work with. So forget this stupid movie. Instead let's focus on one minor character...the gross, weird mother of a mute insane hooligan named Mollusk. Mollusk's mother is played by an actress whose IMDB page led me to the following two photos side-by-side: Now, this is more my speed. Intriguing, no? Who is this haunting creature? Her name is Linda Lutz. And she is fantastic. Her IMDB page indicates someone who lived on the margins of Hollywood, occasionally her amazing face getting her a small quirky role in a big project. She played real-life mob maven Victoria Moresco (who infamously ran over 200 brothels in Chicago in the 1910s and 20s and who may have murdered her husband, mob boss Big Jim Colosimo, who was the guy they killed in the pilot episode of BOARDWALK EMPIRE) on an episode of THE YOUNG INDIANA JONES CHRONICLES. The Real Victoria Moresco and Linda Lutz as Victoria Moresco: And she had small roles in FREINDS and SPACE JAM and a few other Big-time shows/movies. This, however, is mostly sprinkled among the B-movie weirdness in which she usually played some form of screaming lady, or a mean woman that Al Bundy had to sell shoes to. For ROCK & ROLL HIGH SCHOOL fans, she played the evil Mrs. Snotgras in the sequel ROCK & ROLL HIGH SCHOOL FOREVER. But mostly it was small roles in things like the 1994 Dom DeLuise parody THE SILENCE OF THE HAMS...which both 1) somehow exists and 2) somehow stars Billy Zane, Martin Balsam, Shelley Winters, Joe Dante, John Carpenter, John Astin, Rip Taylor, Eddie Deezen, and Mel Brookes. I hope you are realizing the magnitude of THE SILENCE OF THE HAMS because it is freaking me out how great that cast is. For you real deep schlock fans, she was the evil queen in something called STORMQUEST, a 1987 sword and underwear epic about a race of amazons who have enslaved men for breeding purposes... Operatic and Joffrey-esque, no? Although it looks like they filmed it by sneaking onto the set of the video for DON'T COME AROUND HERE NO MORE. So meet and love Linda Lutz, former Guinness Book of World Records record-holder for the longest continuous laugh (8 hours and 34 minutes). That laughing thing is what got her her first role, in the canonic USA-UP-ALLNIGHT masterpiece STEWARDESS SCHOOL. That alone is enough to make her an awesome Hollywood character. But, if that's not enough for you to love her, know that she was the big, weird crazy lady among the creepy tourists in David Lee Roth's video for CALIFORNIA GIRLS. That's some serious history shit right there. Her story takes a rough turn. In 1996 she suffered a stroke apparenlty as a side effect of some cold medication that has since been outlawed???? (This is not the kind of thing that is supposed to happen, no?). After a long recovery, she continues to act despite having no use of her left arm. But in the process has also become an advocate for actors with disabilities. If you're not in love with this woman, check out her attitude about her health issues and tell me she is not awesome: "It was a different world before and after the stroke. But, I knew what I could do. With my daughter's help, I started submitting myself on the computer through L.A. Casting, NOW Casting, and Actors Access. I started auditions again and work on student films. I see students as my future employers as they are willing to cast me in roles that I always played. Now, I'm just a character on wheels!" Bless you, Linda Lutz. A tribute: STORMQUEST: Her big scene is about :55 in. It's worth it. She walks across a "carpet" of men, crushing their balls...something for which the foley artists decided to use "a hammer smashing graham crackers wrapped in tinfoil." It's pretty great: Professor Lee Roth's CALIFORNIA GIRLS (you'll recognize her instantly)

IT'S NOT ME!!!!!!!!

[JasonMantzoukas]I feel like people are going to act like I shouldn't be vigorously masturbating to this...I mean, good luck, because...I'm like a box of kleenex deep in this human/Grover porn already and...I'm not going back to regular non-Grover stuff now.[/JasonMantzoukas] Mods: I am merely an unwilling vessel for the demon Mantzoukas. All warning points can be applied to this man's account:

There's only one worth making

The thing I miss when I'm not there live is watching the players shift in the field, and seeing plays unfold. I really miss the camera they used to use most of the time back in the day that allowed you to see most of the infield. Nowadays they insist on the super close up of the pitcher and then the over-the-shoulder focus on every pitch. It makes the game feel small and claustrophobic. I'd love to see the reverse angle on some pitches, or even a side view. It's like they think we will freak out if we don't have the scientifically proven perfect angle on every pitch. But I don't know who decided that one shot was the scientifically proven perfect angle for every pitch. If it's a close call they can do the replay from that angle and put the little box up and everything, but let me see the game unfold live, not just the fire in the pitcher's eyes...over and over and over.

Sam Holbrook is an idea. Not a man. You can't kill an idea. The idea is order. Structure. Stability. Tradition.

Isn't Grays Papaya way too famous to be just "a hot dog shop that opened in Manhattan?"

Please tell me it gets better after the first, oh, 10 seconds. Because kittens those 10 seconds were painful. The video is funny, but it basically screams to anyone who isn't already a convert "EVERYTHING YOU THINK IS DUMB AND/OR COMMUNIST ABOUT SOCCER IS TRUE!!!!!! IT'S FUCKING STUPID AND TEHGAY!!!!!!" Really wrong-headed way to sell your product unless you are exclusively going for a tiny MSNBC hipster audience who wants to watch Futbol simply out of spite for Football.

This is almost enough to keep me away by itself. I feel like a goddamned trained zoo animal putting on a show. It's makes it seem like the fans at a baseball game are viewed with more disdain than the fans at a WWE show in terms of mindless manipulation. Even watching on t.v. I get a little angry whenever that stupid song comes on. Thank God for Wrigley fieldand WGN.

Some of the funnest live baseball I've seen was at college. My college had a great team that played other great teams (there are four guys in the majors from the last squad I saw play there), but they didn't have a huge stadium like some have now. So it was still just a few rows of bleachers right up on the base lines. It was the closest-up I ever was to baseball at a level where I was constantly saying "There was never a point in my life when I could have done that..." It kind of freaked me out that maybe 1 out of 5 of those guys would be good enough to get drafted, and maybe 1 out of 5 of those few would make it as far as AAA.

No, it's Dolph swearing off of women because of AJ and hooking up with Big E. Dolph's a breast man then.

That dude is scary as hell. The movement on his pitches looks so sudden and kind of unpredictable. His slider looks like a super fast knuckleball. And tonight at least, he was able to hit the corners with it at will. When are they trading him to Toronto?