Super Ape

I stopped watching WWE in 2007 after the fake Donald Trump/fake Rosie O’Donnell March and swore they would never get a dime from me again. Since then, no PPVs, no Network, no nothing. I didn’t come back for Daniel Bryan’s finest hour, so there is nothing they can do to bring me back. And they already own most of wrestling’s past, so that’s a no go too.

Had a moment of clarity last night when I realized I was following results on Twitter for a show I don’t watch, by a company I haven’t supported for 12 years and fully intend to never watch again, and logged off. What do you all do when you’re burnt out on wrestling? DIFFICULTY LEVEL: It is almost 100% of my pop culture consumption anymore, even when I’m not watching.

You know my irrational hatred of WWE. Anything about them buying the competition is bound to make me knee-jerk and freak out.

I’m going to vomit. Stuff like this is why I call WWE “The Enemy.”

Yesterday the Lions WYTS was posted, and not a word from @Brian Fowler (aka ZODIAC MOTHERFUCKER) to be seen. Is this what growing up feels like?

Yay, big-ass leak in the bathroom ceiling just made basically my upstairs neighbor’s entire shower water flood the floor and hallway carpets. The wife and I agreed that we need to put in our notice (because this is result of a half-ass sealing job the landlord did on our last leak) and look to a new place within 30 days. I know we need it, but I HATE being rushed, and going from zero to BUSY BEE in a snap is going to be HELL.

See, I would be perfectly OK with this. He may be hobbled by age and injuries, but old and busted Liger is still Liger.

I’m definitely trying to get Philly tickets. I just hope Liger is on the show since it’s probably my last chance to see him live before he retires.

Remember when she first joined WWE in 2004 and she was so good at playing a naive ditz that everyone thought that’s what she really was, to the point of infantilizing her? Naive like a FOX.

He recently moved to Philly so he’s been doing his thing in Philly/NJ-area indies. He’s got a couple straps so he’s a big piece of a lot of these places. He’s still as good as ever.

They’re still trying to make Aldis a thing with this mystery tag partner match w/ the Briscos. By the way, there is a non-zero chance his partner will be England’s favorite NXT and TNA washout domestic abuser failson himself. This is why you don’t book Brits.

Beatles reference. “A Day in the Life.”

Congratulations are in order for @The Magnificent 7 and Celtic winning an unprecedented Treble Treble. I wonder if Rodgers feels stupid for leaving now.

I miss the lockout.

I don’t eeeeeeeeeeeeeven give a fuck. I grew up on the Sonic games, both cartoons, and the comics (eat shit, Ken Penders). You see a cinematic abortion, I see an excuse to walk in the theatre with a bottle of Canadian Mist, get one of those large Cokes with unlimited refills, and day drink my way down Memory Lane.

In between ROH/NWA stealth booking the NXT washout/domestic abuser, Impact putting Elgin in a main event feud for the strap, and my continued embargo on all things WWE I’m starting to wonder if this shit is for me anymore. Basically all American wrestling is bad at this point.

ROH/NWA: We stealth-booked a domestic abuser with no upside and pushed him into the finals of our big tournament! Nobody can outsleaze us this weekend! TNA: Hold my beer.

They lost me at bringing in the NXT washout domestic abuser though. This is why you don’t build your company around a Brit.

Dorp. I can read good and stuff.

I love how you didn’t even bother to list Endgame since everyone knows it’s automatic #1 in box office.

2007. And not even the Benoit thing. It was the fake Trump/fake Rosie O’Donnell match on a Raw leading up to that Wrestlemania angle. It was so bad and idiotic that I basically decided I was never giving WWE a dime again. Since then I watch maybe one Raw a year until it inevitably pisses me off and I switch the channel, and the only PPV I’ve watched since then was Mania 25, and only because my friend already paid for it. No Network, no NXT, nothing. You’d think that for someone so devoted to not supporting them I wouldn’t talk about them either, but alas. As it stands, I am a professional wrestling fan who fucking loathes WWE and I am just now accepting that part of my identity. My only fear now is their obvious intent of becoming the only game in town, because if they buy up or shut down all the indies and achieve singularity, then there’s going to be no wrestling at all left for me. I’m highly skeptical of AEW’s potential for success, but at the same time I’m convinced that they’re wrestling’s last hope.

It didn’t take long for the bloom to come off the Bray Wyatt rose.

LOLIGHTNING

I’m happy for Stokely, but I’m heartbroken I won’t get to see him again. (If Daniel Bryan winning the big one five years ago couldn’t make me give Vince $10, nothing will.)

Dammit all, at this rate WWE is going to sign everyone and either wipe out or take over all of the indies and I’ll be stuck with nothing left to watch. Thank God for Portland being on YouTube and Ron Fuller’s putting all of Continental our on DVD or else I’d have zero wrestling to watch ever.