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SirSmUgly

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17 hours ago, SirSmUgly said:

Thunder Interlude – show number forty-seven – 21 January 1999

"The WCW Gang does some light comedy with the B-Teamers”

  • I am tempted to look at the bracket for this stupid-ass tag titles tournament, just to see how it handles the double-elimination aspect that randomly was just included…Does that mean that Super Calo and Lizmark Jr. are still in this thing?...Because I feel like it’s 50/50 that WCW remembers that they wrestled in this tournament once already and lost…Nah, I’m going to wait until SuperBrawl and THEN look at the tournament bracket once the tag title tourney final happens…
  • Smiley hits his swinging body slam on the bigger Booker in a nice spot…
  • La Parka versus Rey Misterio Jr. has some potential…Yeah, this is fun…Parka is a good bully…Man, Parka should have gotten a push…He’s the best possible base for the smaller wrestlers who can work the Cruiserweight division…

 

  • my spoiler from earlier this week is safe to look at. it was really just me bitching about WCW having a tournament, then throwing it all away to nonsensically now make it double elimination. As if for some reason that would stop the nWo from interfering?
  • that move is awesome. i always called it the "wind-up body slam" but is there a real name for it?
  • agreed fully, and i would take it a step further. La Parka should have been having real, competitive matches against non luchadores. La Parka would not have looked out of place having short feuds with the likes of Disco Inferno (the dancing? come on, it writes itself), Jericho, Saturn, Kanyon, etc.  Plus the matches would've been great. a few years later in MLW he has a CRAZY match with Sabu that was awesome. it is very bloody, but well worth your time to check out.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3PiyAz8VwHg&pp=ygUNc2FidSBsYSBwYXJrYQ%3D%3D  
    semi-relatedly, i wish Psicosis would have gotten the push that Juventud received. I found him a better worker, more visually interesting, and just more exciting all around.
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2 hours ago, twiztor said:
  • agreed fully, and i would take it a step further. La Parka should have been having real, competitive matches against non luchadores. La Parka would not have looked out of place having short feuds with the likes of Disco Inferno (the dancing? come on, it writes itself), Jericho, Saturn, Kanyon, etc.  Plus the matches would've been great. a few years later in MLW he has a CRAZY match with Sabu that was awesome. it is very bloody, but well worth your time to check out.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3PiyAz8VwHg&pp=ygUNc2FidSBsYSBwYXJrYQ%3D%3D  

I think La Parka is very obviously underpushed and absolutely was the type of guy you'd have at the U.S. Championship level, but I think the best we could have expected from Bischoff was "base for smaller cruisers and one or two Cruiserweight title runs." Bisch, and later Russo, discussed the ceiling on guys who didn't speak super-fluent English, but very few of the guys on this show who do speak super-fluent English were any good on the mic. Honestly, the transition Nitro is making to a more talk-heavy style has been rough. They just don't have the talkers to do it. They needed to keep course and focus on WCW's established brand as the superior in-ring product. If you need guys to talk, bring in more managers. They have Jimmy Hart. They had James Vandenberg. I don't know why the manager who talks for his charge became passe, but it's too bad.

I often think about what a prime Gary Hart could do with some of the guys they have on this roster. You give Gary Hart the task of helping La Parka get over by talking for him and cheating for him on the outside occasionally, and there's no way Parka's not a huge star. Or, for that matter...

Quote

semi-relatedly, i wish Psicosis would have gotten the push that Juventud received. I found him a better worker, more visually interesting, and just more exciting all around.

...if you give prime Gary Hart Psicosis as his client. 

I personally don't think you can swap out Juvi for Psicosis w/r/t that push. Juvi is best as a never-say-die babyface who bumps big for heel offense and who fights up from underneath. Psicosis is best as a bully jock heel who is incredibly cocky and knows that his offense is killer.  

You'd need to push them both at the same time; they could have had a hell of a feud. Again, if you feel like you need Psicosis to talk, give him a manager, but I think heel Psicosis has phenomenal body language and physical charisma. He carries himself like he's his own biggest fan and is great at showing contempt towards his babyface opponents through his movements and his offense. 

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Show #176 – 25 January 1999

“The one that KEEPS GOLDBERG STRONG (mostly)”

  • The show leads with a review of the wacky B-Team antics from Thunder, which is what we viewed when last we met. I assume this leads to Vincent – excuse me, Vince – being grievously assaulted by a few A-Teamers later tonight [Editor's note: Surprisingly enough, nope!]

 

  • Tony S. has more video footage for us! Curt Hennig and Stevie Ray have a private conversation about internal nWo politics except for the part with the cameraman standing right in front of them and filming every word. Some other B-Teamers are upset at Stevie wearing a loud shirt of his own choosing as opposed to an nWo shirt. Let this man have some style in his life, damn. Anyway, WCW is probably going to go overboard on this angle. It would be better-slash-funnier if the A-Teamers just ignored the B-Teamers and let them fuck around to their own comically inept devices. Instead, we’re getting more nWo internal politics “intrigue.”

 

  • What I love about watching a wrestling show is when I get to see a bunch of pre-taped video skits of mediocre entertainment value. Ric Flair has Eric Bischoff working the merch table tonight. They bicker a bit before Flair says that Bisch has to sell Sting masks in the crowd like roving vendor dudes sell hot dogs and beer at a baseball game. The ring construction thing was good, but I don’t know if WCW has that sort of magic in them for multiple weeks with this angle.

 

  • The Nitro Girls boogie. The intro plays. We get a video recap of Scott Steiner harassing the Nitro Girls and DDP being mad about Steiner specifically harassing Kimberly.

 

  • I don’t like the video-recap-heavy format that this show has taken over the last few months, especially at the start of each show.

 

  • Here’s some more video of Stevie Ray bickering with the other B-Teamers. Horace calls Stevie Ray “Mack Daddy.” The ‘90s, everyone!

 

  • Al Green kicks off the show in a hot cruiserweight opener against Disco Inferno. But seriously, the match is perfectly fine. I’ll forget that it happened by the end of the day. Disco doesn’t need Hall’s help to stick Green with a Chartbuster for three.

 

  • Man, three minutes of wrestling was a lot. I need to come down with some pre-taped video. Stevie and Hennig seem to be running some sort of game on the rest of the B-Teamers. It’s not as charming as the Thunder stuff was. The A-Teamers fly in on a personal jet to meet the B-Teamers at the airport. Stevie stealing The Rock’s “five hundred dollar shirt” thing is corny. The A-Teamers kick Curt Hennig out of the nWo for some reason. They beat his ass. Stevie wants to get in the limo with the A-Teamers, but there’s no room for him and he’s stuck riding in a mid-sized rental car. What exactly is happening here with this nWo storyline? And will it ever be interesting in any way?

 

  • We come back from a break to see more talking. What a surprise! Hogan and Nash talk about the nWo's internal politics and make dumb cracks before entering their locker room. Once they've entered their locker room, they harass Stevie about the shirt he’s wearing. I am riveted. Then, get this, we get a split screen this bunch of dudes in their locker room and Bam Bam walking to the ring while holding a ladder. Unfortunately, it goes away and we only see what Bammer’s doing in the ring. Aw, the locker room stuff was obviously so important that we couldn’t pull away from it. What a shame that I’m stuck watching things happen in the wrestling ring on this wrestling show.

 

  • Bam Bam sets up the ladder and then cuts a shitty promo in which he challenges Scott Hall. I mean, it’s bad. He challenges Hall to a taser-and-a-ladder match. We go back to the split screen so that the nWo members can do bad comedy and talk about (and talk over) Bigelow’s challenge.

 

  • Eric Bischoff works the tables. He doesn’t know how to make change. Then he insults a woman's unnaturally dyed hair, which is actually pretty cutting edge in some ways considering social media discourse w/r/t women with unnaturally colored hair (which I DO NOT give any credence to despite my own current personal dislike of unnaturally colored hair that I have mentioned before, I should note). But no, this sucked.

 

  • Break. The Nitro Girls boogie. Gene Okerlund interviews Ric Flair in the ring. Please stop trying to beat the WWF at their own game, WCW. You can’t. Anyway, Flair threatens Hogan the Elder for awhile. He addresses Bret Hart, who is on this show again after Malenko injured him. Tony S. mentioned that Bret was booked against Booker T. in a non-title match tonight at the start of this show. Flair says that Bret’s defending the World title – oops! – against someone of WCW’s choosing at SuperBrawl and then reiterates the Booker T. matchup that’s later tonight for the information of the live crowd. Okerlund is a pro; he smoothly corrected the title slip and kept the show moving. After that, Flair tells Kevin Nash that they’re making tonight’s tag tournament match a lumberjack match to deter the nWo from spoiling it. Finally, he books Hogan the Elder in a six-man tag against the Horsemen. That was a lot of info about what will be on this show! It was also moderately entertaining.

 

  • Scott Dickinson sits at ringside and looks like a right proper asshole while the desk is like WHOA, SCOTT DICKINSON, HE’S SUSPENDED.

 

  • We are thirty-three minutes into this show, not counting breaks, and we’ve had one three-minute match between Disco Inferno and Al Green. We get a reminder of Scott Hall tazing everyone at the end of the Souled Out main event even though I just wanted to see Goldberg stand tall. Then, the Wolfpac music hits; Scott Hall and Disco carry a ladder out together. Dallas loves this show with barely any wrestling so far, I guess, because they are excited to see yet another fucking interview. Hall cuts a promo and they pop huge for HEY YO. Hall takes longer than he needs to take to accept Bam Bam’s challenge.

 

  • At least we’re going to get that match now, I suppose! Bam Bam comes back to the ring and overpowers Hall early. They proceed to have an exchange that’s fun and ends with Hall hitting a second-rope bulldog. Hall did some good aerial stuff for such a big dude. He has an aesthetically-pleasing elbowdrop, and I dig his bulldog, too. For some reason, Billy Silverman is preoccupied with sending Disco away from ringside. Bam Bam follows outside and gets distracted by that, and Hall jumps him and rams him into the ladder. The tables get turned, however, and Hall is hit with the ladder by Bammer.

 

  • Bam Bam brings the ladder to ringside, props it against the apron, and tries an Irish whip that gets reversed; he crashes into the ladder, hoist by his own petard. Hall gets in the ring and successfully uses the ladder as a battering ram, but Bigelow just shoves Hall away and grabs the ladder, then hits a shot of his own. They’re trying hard here, using the ladder as a weapon as much as possible, and what they’re producing is cromulent. They hit a see-saw spot on the ladder that knocks them both down, but Hall is up first and hammers Bam Bam with the ladder, then stomps the ladder as it lays on top of Bigelow.

 

  • Hall sandwiches Bam Bam’s ankle between the steps of the ladder and stomps it as we go to break. While we sit through some commercials, a thought: You know what was a better match than I initially gave it credit for? Goldberg/Scott Hall at Souled Out. I still think they didn’t get the tone of the match right for the first half of it, but the finishing run picked up significantly, and the finish was genuinely awesome. The aftermath with Hall standing tall really did drag down my enjoyment of the thing, but if that didn’t happen, I would have put it on my list of good playlist matches.

 

  • Anyway, we’re back now, and Bam Bam misses a corner splash and slams into the ladder. This match is different from the Goldberg one in that this match got to using the ladder to do brutal spots much earlier, but Bam Bam is considerably worse at pro wrestling and is also considerably less over than Goldberg, so it all has somewhat less effect. Hall rides the ladder into Bam Bam’s gut, then tries to climb it, but Bam Bam pushes it over. The match has gone from merely “cromulent” to “actually pretty good.” Bigelow goes halfway up the ladder and then lands a diving headbutt in a gnarly spot. OK, we might be edging past “actually pretty good” at this point into “pretty damned good” territory.

 

  • Hall is up first because Bigelow sells jamming his neck on the headbutt. Hall punches Bam Bam in the balls and climbs; Bigelow gets up and tries to grab him, but Hall pushes him away with a boot and follows with that really nice elbowdrop that I mentioned earlier. Hall tries to climb again, but Bigelow catches him and lands an elevated back suplex. It looked dangerous as hell because Bigelow had to twist so that Hall didn’t snap his neck on the ropes. Good sense of space there from Bigelow to hit that move in a tight area.

 

  • Bigelow goes up, but Hall dropkicks the ladder, and both Bammer and the ladder crash to the mat. Hall is up first again and climbs, but Bigelow stumbles up, slides underneath the ladder and heaves it backward behind him. Hall clatters into the corner of the ring, and Bam Bam goes up for the taser and gets his hand on it. He actually grabs it…but Hall punches him in the dick. Still, Bammer holds onto the taser as he falls. Now, here, in the middle of this surprisingly awesome match, is where things go wrong. In order:

 

  • Disco runs down and gives Hall a taser.

 

  • Goldberg runs down and spears Disco.

 

  • Goldberg spears both men in the ring, grabs both tasers, and tazes both Hall and Bammer.

 

  • And Scott Norton runs down for the save so Hall can escape.

 

  • Goldberg killing dudes is cool, but that was the match that he needed to have against Hall, number one, and number two, this match ended up being so good that it deserved a legit finish and not a no FUCKING contest. Oh, and number three, Scott Norton should not be able to save Scott Hall from a Goldberg attack.

 

  • I think that match is going on my “good matches for a playlist” list, but man, these fucking finishes in WCW. Anyway, it was almost worth sitting through a half-hour of average talking and skits to get a match that long and that good.

 

  • Gene Okerlund interviews Bret Hart in the back. Bret has a tour de force performance here where he calls himself a jam up guy, embarks on some light dialect provincialism against Booker, which is funny since he can’t say the word “against” properly (AKA like an American newscaster who is originally from Nebraska), and then lands maybe his most classic line while suggesting title opponents for SuperBrawl: “Who are you to doubt El Dandy?” Bonus: After Okerlund continues to doubt Dandy, Bret says, “Well, what about Hypnosis?” and has to be corrected by Gene on Psicosis’s name. He finishes the interview off by calling out Dean Malenko for injuring him and drops another gem: “This is the likes of a groin pull that you’ve never seen.” Look, I’m a big Hitman fan and think that once he hit late 1996, he became genuinely good at cutting promos, but there’s no way that you want the Hitman to be the best promo on your show by such a significant amount that it’s absurd [Editor's note: And in fact, the Hitman was by far the best promo on the show tonight].

 

  • A few WCW midcarders hit ringside to work the next match as lumberjacks. This next match in the tag titles tournament pits the Faces of Fear against Dave Taylor and Fit Finlay. I’m confused; Finlay and Taylor won their match and are in the winners’ bracket, but the Faces of Fear have wrestled to two straight no contests. If this is now a double-elimination contest, these teams should be in two different brackets. No, nevermind, let me just enjoy Dave Taylor spiking Barbarian with a headscissors takeover and not think too hard. Anyway, this match isn’t very good. Finlay busts out some good offense, though. He really snaps off that sitdown splash in a way that looks good. The finish is muddled. So, Hugh Morrus is one of the lumberjacks, and he helps Jimmy Hart out by distracting the ref and Finlay while the Faces of Fear land their backdrop/powerbomb combo on Dave Taylor for three. It’s just a strange finish, maybe because the timing seems off? I mean, Morrus is in the ref’s line of sight when he grabs Finlay's ankle because he’s standing right behind Hart. Anyway, whatever, at least we got a match to go to a finish for the first time in like two weeks in this tournament.

 

  • Saturn is doing this whole dress thing, if you’ll recall. He’s going to face Norman Smiley. While wearing a dress. If this were on PPV, we’d get quite the show, but hey, let’s see how lascivious ol’ Norman gets on regular cable television. Speaking of guys who get too handsy with people who don’t consent, we get a quick cut of security guarding the Nitro Girls’s dressing room to ward off Scott Steiner. Saturn comes to the ring and yells into the camera: SMILEY, YOU’RE NOT GETTIN’ JIGGY WITH ME! The ‘90s, everyone!

 

  • Saturn just tosses Smiley around early; Smiley has to escape the ring after Saturn hits a trapped overhead suplex. Smiley gathers himself, charges the ring…and gets put in a headlock. He gets out of it with a back suplex and then stomps Saturn in the head. Smiley hits a kneelift and teases a Big Wiggle. Commentary, which has been doing an okay comedy routine about the correct pronunciation of Smiley’s name (NOR-MON, SMI-LAY) now transitions into a genuinely funny routine about how excited Tenay and Heenan are to see the Big Wiggle, mostly because Tony S. is also sort of tickled by the Big Wiggle, but doesn’t want to admit it.

 

  • We go to break with Smiley in control and come back with Smiley still in control. Smiley lands his swinging body slam and hits a double-underhook slam after that, but he only gets two on the cover. Smiley tries another kneelift, gets rolled up for two, and knocks Saturn back down with a lariat. This is a good control segment, but the break hurt the match. We needed more of the control segment than we got, I think. Anyway, Smiley hits a few strikes, but Saturn fights out of the corner with a lariat. Saturn tries to follow up with a springboard splash, but Smiley gets knees up, dances, and wiggles a bit. He lands a back body drop on Saturn for two, then follows up with a stalling vertical suplex for another two count.

 

  • Then, it happens. You know what I mean. Smiley gets Saturn bent over the second rope and smacks dat ass, which pisses Saturn off and starts a comeback. Saturn lands a superkick and has a bandage on his head peeling off and showing a huge bloody gash underneath it, which is a cool visual. Saturn lands a slam, goes up, and lands a diving kneedrop, then does a goofy-looking mocking Big Wiggle before drilling a DVD for three. I enjoyed this! Even with the break, it was fun. Scott Dickinson sits in the front row, looking bummed about Saturn’s victory. That, or the arena’s Polish sausages have left him severely constipated.

 

  • After the break, Gene Okerlund interviews Scott Dickinson. A young Goldberg fan tries to get into the shot. I’m not entirely sure that we need another ref angle after the last one, especially because Nick Patrick is like a 584% better talker than Scott FUCKING Dickinson. Dickinson complains about J.J. Dillon and Ric Flair’s leadership and, because he’s from Boston, pronounces the word “pocket” like this: PAW-KIT. Get Bret Hart out here to criticize him!

 

  • Bret Hart faces Booker T. next. I think that should be the U.S. Championship match at SuperBrawl considering that Hart put Booker out a few months back in their TV title match on pay-per-view. In fact, they probably should have reminded the viewer of the history between the two before this match instead of reminding us that Ric Flair announced this match earlier in the night. Tenay mentions it on commentary, but for once, a short video package would have been effective here.

 

  • Bret’s coming off a tough injury, on the one hand, but on the other hand, he hasn’t been in a great match since he got into the company. What happened was that they turned the guy heel, and he immediately initiated lots of stalling and wandering around heel stuff that I don’t think is very good or effective. This match starts with stalling, but it picks up after Booker double stomps the Hitman’s fingers. They proceed to rip off some nice offense from there, with stuff like a double-arm DDT from Bret, but we get a wandering brawl outside that really kills a match that looked like it was going to explode to life.

 

  • Instead, this match ends up with Bret doing a methodical leg attack and Booker selling. This is not the strength of either guy. Booker has explosive offense and Bret is great at selling moves. This would work much better as a babyface versus babyface matchup or with the alignments flipped. I digress, though. Bret slaps on a Figure Four. Booker has to endure the pain and try to flip it, which he does as we go into break.

 

  • After break, we come back to, um, Bret slapping it back on. Okay. Maybe we needed the part of the match that the break cut out to at least get the thrill of a potential babyface comeback before it was cut off again by the Figure Four. Booker does finally make a comeback and boy, was Bret’s leg work completely ineffective, which seems unlikely considering the source! Booker ignoring all that leg damage to make a comeback is, um, adrenaline, I guess, but I wish he’d at least sold some pain between the surges of adrenaline. Booker goes for the kill, but misses a Houston Hangover. That’s when Bret grabs the U.S. Championship belt and brings it into the ring. He tries to drive it into Book’s face from the second rope, but Booker gets a boot up and Bret gets a taste of his own medicine. Booker chokes Bret on the outside with a cable, which Bret did to him in the first wandering brawl outside the ring from earlier in the match, and then rolls Bret inside.

 

  • Booker grabs the cable and brings it with him. He chokes Bret until the ref takes the cable away, which is when Bret grabs the belt that’s still laying on the mat, swings it backward, and knocks Booker out with it. The ref turns around to count three. JCVD is in the crowd. So is Chuck Norris. I hope they enjoyed that match because it bummed me out. It wasn’t bad, but it should have been good.

 

  • They replay the Steiner/Page recap stuff, which they really only need to play once if at all.

 

  • Eric Bischoff wanders the crowd holding WCW #1 foam fingers and complaining while a fan in an Undertaker t-shirt harasses him.

 

  • Scott Norton attacked Goldberg earlier to hype his match against the man tonight, and also because we can’t have nice things if we’re rooting for the babyfaces, not even for a few seconds. But you know, I can’t complain too much because this is a spectacle. Goldberg hoists the dude up, tosses him, and locks on an armbar. That’s just a great spot, man. Goldberg doesn’t give a fuck about your powerslams or any of that other shit, Norton. He’s just going to kick you in the face. Then, we get a little ringside brawling that actually works because Norton realizes that he needs to escalate things immediately. He tries to drive Goldberg into the post, but Goldberg wiggles away and clatters Norton into the post instead.

 

  • Norton does get control again and land a shoulderblock, then a back suplex, but he only barely gets two counts off those moves. Honestly, Goldberg does too much selling for Norton here. I know Norton’s been built like prime Meng, but it’s fucking Goldberg. Norton eventually tries a powerbomb, but Goldberg flips out of it, falls on his ass, and no one cares because he recovers and spears, Jackhammers, and SPLATS Norton in short order. The B-Teamers are sent down to jump Goldberg after the bell. It goes poorly for them, obviously; they’re the B-Teamers. Goldberg stands tall! Seriously, he does! JCVD, Chuck Norris, Brett Hull, and Herschel Walker, the latter of whom somehow was able to find the ring by himself, get in there and celebrate with Goldberg. I had to look up Brett Hull, whose name I vaguely remembered from NHL ’94, which is the only thing I like about ice hockey.

 

  • Scott Steiner creepily observes a Nitro Girls routine from the desk. I do not like this storyline. I think it could work with the right storytellers, but they do not exist in 1999 WCW.

 

  • Buffer calls Dallas “Big D.” I chuckled like a middle-schooler. Anyway, this main event is announced twenty-five minutes before the end of the show! And what a weird show it’s been, with strange formatting. The first thirty minutes were a gabfest, but we also are going to get at least two long matches in Hall/Bigelow and the main event, and honestly, Booker/Bret was pretty lengthy too.

 

  • So, yeah, it’s Hogan the Elder, Kevin Nash, and Scott Steiner versus Ric Flair, Chris Benoit, and Mongo McMichael. This is hilarious. The crowd mega-pops for Nash’s WOLFPAC IN DA HOUSE, boos Steiner for talking shit about DDP, and weakly boos Hogan for saying that Flair stinks. Like fifteen people start a weak HOGAN SUCKS chants that dies out pretty quickly. Man, Hogan is AWFUL. Just the WORST.

 

  • After Hogan gets done stinking up the joint on the mic, the Horsemen run out and we get a brawl, a donnybrook, a pier six slobberknocker. The Wolfpac tosses the Horsemen out of the ring and stand tall for a second. Huh. That’s the wrong team to do that spot. I do like a spot where Steiner gorilla presses Benoit while yelling I COULD DO THIS ALL DAY, though. Man, that’s a great spot, and appropriate for a heel on top of it. Benoit comes back with punches and a snot rocket.

 

  • Nash tags in and clobbers Benoit for a bit next. Benoit eventually slips out of a Snake Eyes attempt and chops the hell out of Nash, then tags in Mongo. Mongo hits a body slam and drops an elbow for two. Mongo tags Benoit, who lands a diving headbutt for two, but Hogan makes the save. The Wolfpac has to use misdirection, with Steiner distracting Benoit on a rope run, to take control of the match. Benoit turns around into a Nash big boot and then settles in for a run as the face in peril.

 

  • Benoit survives, Steiner freaks out on the ref, Nash does methodical, big impact stuff. You know the deal. It’s a perfectly fine FIP segment. There’s a commercial break, and we come back to Hogan having to try harder because he’s in there with Benoit. So that’s good! Steiner does a wimpy pin and I think to myself that, hey, I haven’t seen Chris Jericho once tonight. Man, Jericho and Los Guerreros were a huge source of fun in the middle of 1998, and none of them made this show for various reasons. They brought so much to Nitro and Thunder, and I think it’s palpable just what this show misses for not having them on it. I also miss the Giant, who was never as exciting a wrestler as he was in 1997, but who was still pretty cool throughout 1998.

 

  • Oh yeah, this match. Again, it’s watchable. Hogan brings in the weight belt, which I guess is just peachy with Charles Robinson. They needed Hogan to swing it at Benoit to call back to Hogan whipping David Flair with it at Souled Out, but at least run a ref distraction spot or something to hold the basic logic of the match together. Anyway, the heel control segment isn’t the worst – like I said, it’s watchable – but there’s not any dynamism to this segment, and Benoit is just not sympathetic enough to make me desperate for his comeback. Eventually, Hogan whiffs on a legdrop and Flair puts Hogan in a Figure Four. Bischoff walks by with a bunch of foam fingers and hands one to Nash that’s perched on top of a two-by-four. Nash yams Flair with it, which I guess is now enough to call a DQ. Weight belt = perfectly okay to use. Two-by-four = insta-disqualification.

 

  • Then, we get a huge brawl where everyone in WCW runs down and stops Bisch from cutting Flair’s hair. If you ever wanted to see Hogan take a bump for a Villano punch, this would be the brawl that you’d want to watch! The nWo backs up the ramp…and into Goldberg, who goes all evil Jet Li at the end of The One and kicks the crap out of them as they rush him at the top of the stage.

 

  • I like that they did what they needed to do for the most part and KEPT GOLDBERG STRONG, and Hall/Bigelow was a quite good ladder match. I also appreciated the longer matches, even if Bret/Booker and the main didn’t do much for me. The issue is that I don’t like any of the angles, and they dominate a lot of the show via talking, recaps, and so forth. That’s going to keep a fairly low ceiling for my scoring on these shows until they get a hot angle or two going that they properly capitalize on. 2.5 out of 5 Stinger Splashes.
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28 minutes ago, SirSmUgly said:

Gene Okerlund interviews Bret Hart in the back. Bret has a tour de force performance here where he calls himself a jam up guy, embarks on some light dialect provincialism against Booker, which is funny since he can’t say the word “against” properly (AKA like an American newscaster who is originally from Nebraska)

Bret has his linguistic foibles. Just ask him about his memories of competing in [the] SummerSlam.

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On 5/21/2024 at 6:37 PM, SirSmUgly said:

 

 

  • Saturn faces Chris Jericho in this Loser Wears a Dress For the Rest of Their Wrestling Career Match that they put together because they had no idea what to do with Saturn after he got over once the Flock feud ended. Jericho and Ralphus are excited about the cute little number they’ve brought down in a paper sack for Saturn to wear. Jericho rips up some fan’s pro-Jericho sign. I’m pretty sure the person he took that sign from just proudly claps in response.

 

IIRC in his book, Jericho had put in his notice (With the memorably xenophobic-1970s-Bischoff-quote "No ticky, no shirty" which was Bischoff's way of saying Jericho wouldn't get a push again on his watch; which you would think would be one of the worst quotes from Bischoff but there's also the section where Bischoff offers to give Jericho a raise if he'll admit to sleeping with one of the Nitro Girls!), and was expecting to be jobbed out hard on his way out, as he'd admittedly mislead Bischoff about re-signing with the company,  and he figured the dress stipulation was going to be a way in which they'd embarrass him on his way out, only to find out that Saturn had actually asked to work an angle where he wore a dress. It was right around  the time Marilyn Manson got fairly popular and Saturn gets a 'Beautiful People'-ish theme song complete with Saturn quotes (Saturn, you know, being known for his endless catch phrases!) like "What are you lookin' at?" and "Life's a drag!" which my brother and I inexplicably thought was "Have a drink!" and thought maybe Saturn was working some sort of cross-dressing, ornery barfly gimmick  for way longer than I care to admit.

I always thought it was weird that WCW sign Saturn without Kronus, as Saturn was a perfectly solid worker but the Eliminators were really more than the sum of their parts and probably would have fit in nicely in WCW's tag division.

Also, this bit about Saturn forming the Eliminators on Wikipedia is one of the funniest, you-might-be-overthinking-this-Perry things I've ever read

" In the early 1990s, Saturn offered to form a tag team with [Kronus]. The Greek equivalent of the Roman deity Saturn was Cronus, so Saturn chose the ring name "John Kronus" for Caiazzo. As Saturn and Kronus were their civilizations' respective harvest deities, Saturn proposed that the tag team be known as "The Harvesters of Sorrow". After promoter Jerry Lawler advised Saturn that the significance of the name would not be evident to many fans, Saturn named the team "The Eliminators"."

I like to imagine Saturn in a labcoat with glasses on and an overhead projector explaining this to Kronus and Lawler and then being "Ah fuck it, we'll call ourselves the Eliminators."

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1 hour ago, Curt McGirt said:

He may have had to even explain "Eliminators" to poor Kronus...

I can't remember which book it was where they talked about Bob Backlund reading a book about Churchill and telling Kronus he was one of the best "orators of our time" and questioning whether he knew what that was and Kronus responded "I don't even know what a Winston Churchill is"

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15 hours ago, Stefanie Sparkleface said:

Bret has his linguistic foibles. Just ask him about his memories of competing in [the] SummerSlam.

Or his memories of competing in the WCW.

Russian and Korean speakers tend to struggle with using articles in their English speaking, but I think that's because Bret's hogging them all.

14 hours ago, caley said:

IIRC in his book, Jericho had put in his notice (With the memorably xenophobic-1970s-Bischoff-quote "No ticky, no shirty" which was Bischoff's way of saying Jericho wouldn't get a push again on his watch; which you would think would be one of the worst quotes from Bischoff but there's also the section where Bischoff offers to give Jericho a raise if he'll admit to sleeping with one of the Nitro Girls!), and was expecting to be jobbed out hard on his way out, as he'd admittedly mislead Bischoff about re-signing with the company,  and he figured the dress stipulation was going to be a way in which they'd embarrass him on his way out, only to find out that Saturn had actually asked to work an angle where he wore a dress. It was right around  the time Marilyn Manson got fairly popular and Saturn gets a 'Beautiful People'-ish theme song complete with Saturn quotes (Saturn, you know, being known for his endless catch phrases!) like "What are you lookin' at?" and "Life's a drag!" which my brother and I inexplicably thought was "Have a drink!" and thought maybe Saturn was working some sort of cross-dressing, ornery barfly gimmick  for way longer than I care to admit.

I didn't realize that Jericho told Bisch he wasn't going to sign this early; he has eight-ish months to go on his contract. I figured we'd at least get past Uncensored before he was taken off of television.

I did listen to the Souled Out '98 episode of 83 Weeks, and Bisch reiterated that Saturn really wanted to do the dress thing and drove the whole idea. I think they dropped the ball on Saturn, who was hot coming out of the Raven feud, because they did nothing with him until the Ernest Miller feud a couple months later. I'm not saying that Saturn should have been World Champ, but they could have positioned him as a babyface gatekeeper more effectively at the very least. The guy was giving way too much to wrestlers less over than he was in the month or two after he disbanded the Flock. 

Anyway, the way WCW wasn't bothering to do much for him, I commend him for coming up with an idea about how to get some momentum going on his own and then running with it.

Quote

I always thought it was weird that WCW sign Saturn without Kronus, as Saturn was a perfectly solid worker but the Eliminators were really more than the sum of their parts and probably would have fit in nicely in WCW's tag division.

Also, this bit about Saturn forming the Eliminators on Wikipedia is one of the funniest, you-might-be-overthinking-this-Perry things I've ever read

" In the early 1990s, Saturn offered to form a tag team with [Kronus]. The Greek equivalent of the Roman deity Saturn was Cronus, so Saturn chose the ring name "John Kronus" for Caiazzo. As Saturn and Kronus were their civilizations' respective harvest deities, Saturn proposed that the tag team be known as "The Harvesters of Sorrow". After promoter Jerry Lawler advised Saturn that the significance of the name would not be evident to many fans, Saturn named the team "The Eliminators"."

I like to imagine Saturn in a labcoat with glasses on and an overhead projector explaining this to Kronus and Lawler and then being "Ah fuck it, we'll call ourselves the Eliminators."

I have heard this story before and I love it. Perry Saturn being so into Roman and Greek mythology that he comes up with a full tag team themed around it is some charming e-fed type shit. 

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Posted (edited)

Well, "Harvester of Sorrow" was also a Metallica song, which he should have pointed out to Lawler as obviously he wouldn't have gotten the reference being that his musical taste is still probably Elvis and (of course) Jerry Lee

EDIT: Elvis groomed Pricilla so he's no better than Jerry. Two peas. 

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2 hours ago, SirSmUgly said:

Or his memories of competing in the WCW.

Russian and Korean speakers tend to struggle with using articles in their English speaking, but I think that's because Bret's hogging them all.

Owen did try to warn us that Bret was too damn selfish, but y'know, when I was a kid I thought Owen was saying that Bret was too damn shellfish, and I thought "what does Owen have against shrimp?"

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17 hours ago, caley said:

IIRC in [Jericho's] book, there's the section where Bischoff offers to give Jericho a raise if he'll admit to sleeping with one of the Nitro Girls!

I always thought it was weird that WCW sign Saturn without Kronus, as Saturn was a perfectly solid worker but the Eliminators were really more than the sum of their parts and probably would have fit in nicely in WCW's tag division.

i may be misremembering, but i thought that story was about Heyman wanting Jericho to admit he slept with Kimona. Hell, they both could be true.

yeah, the Eliminators were awesome in ECW. i recall Saturn saying that Kronus never wanted to train or workout, so i take that as the biggest reason the team didn't stay together outside Philly. And i also remember somebody saying that WCW wanted Taz, but settled for Saturn, and asked Saturn to wrestle like Taz. I think it actually worked out really well, since Saturn had the look, more size, and could convincingly pull off those suplexes. And i never doubted that he was a legit badass, either.

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21 hours ago, caley said:

IIRC in his book, Jericho had put in his notice (With the memorably xenophobic-1970s-Bischoff-quote "No ticky, no shirty" which was Bischoff's way of saying Jericho wouldn't get a push again on his watch; which you would think would be one of the worst quotes from Bischoff but there's also the section where Bischoff offers to give Jericho a raise if he'll admit to sleeping with one of the Nitro Girls!), and was expecting to be jobbed out hard on his way out, as he'd admittedly mislead Bischoff about re-signing with the company,  and he figured the dress stipulation was going to be a way in which they'd embarrass him on his way out, only to find out that Saturn had actually asked to work an angle where he wore a dress. It was right around  the time Marilyn Manson got fairly popular and Saturn gets a 'Beautiful People'-ish theme song complete with Saturn quotes (Saturn, you know, being known for his endless catch phrases!) like "What are you lookin' at?" and "Life's a drag!" which my brother and I inexplicably thought was "Have a drink!" and thought maybe Saturn was working some sort of cross-dressing, ornery barfly gimmick  for way longer than I care to admit.

I always thought it was weird that WCW sign Saturn without Kronus, as Saturn was a perfectly solid worker but the Eliminators were really more than the sum of their parts and probably would have fit in nicely in WCW's tag division.

Also, this bit about Saturn forming the Eliminators on Wikipedia is one of the funniest, you-might-be-overthinking-this-Perry things I've ever read

" In the early 1990s, Saturn offered to form a tag team with [Kronus]. The Greek equivalent of the Roman deity Saturn was Cronus, so Saturn chose the ring name "John Kronus" for Caiazzo. As Saturn and Kronus were their civilizations' respective harvest deities, Saturn proposed that the tag team be known as "The Harvesters of Sorrow". After promoter Jerry Lawler advised Saturn that the significance of the name would not be evident to many fans, Saturn named the team "The Eliminators"."

I like to imagine Saturn in a labcoat with glasses on and an overhead projector explaining this to Kronus and Lawler and then being "Ah fuck it, we'll call ourselves the Eliminators."

I thought it was Dress v Leaves WCW and Jericho was supposed to lose but Terry Taylor didn't know that so him and Saturn didn't change the finish

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5 hours ago, twiztor said:

i may be misremembering, but i thought that story was about Heyman wanting Jericho to admit he slept with Kimona. Hell, they both could be true.

 

from Jericho's first book

"Eric heard rumors and asked me, "I heard you dated that Nitro Girl with the nice rack."

That pretty much described all of them, and I didn't know what to say. I was afraid I'd get her (or even worse myself) in trouble.

Awkward silence.

"If you tell me you banged her I'll give you a raise," he offered, still awaiting my answer.

Uncomfortable awkward silence.

I came back with the same line he gave me when I'd asked him who the third member of the nWo was in the CNN Center a year and a half earlier.

"Eric, if I told you, I'd have to kill you."

He flashed his award-winning John Davidson smile and walked away muttering, "If you did, you're my hero."

I wasn't his hero, and I still didn't get a push." 

1 hour ago, zendragon said:

I thought it was Dress v Leaves WCW and Jericho was supposed to lose but Terry Taylor didn't know that so him and Saturn didn't change the finish

Jericho doesn't mention it in his book, but it IS a believable WCW story!

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Posted (edited)

Thunder Interlude – show number forty-eight – 28 January 1999

"The WCW Gang sings the same main event song with a different verse (a little bit louder and a whole lot worse)"

  • Tony S. starts the show by promising us that the Wolfpac is in the building tonight…Or is that a threat rather than a promise?...

 

  • Psicosis comes to the ring. Ooh, will we get a HOT CRUISERWEIGHT OPENER?...Nope, no matter how many moonsaults Hugh Morrus throws, he’s not a cruiserweight…Unless Jimmy Hart is the guy wrestling instead…Psicosis is very good and Morrus can be watchable when he’s in there with someone who is very good…Psicosis does a fine job of absorbing Morrus’s brutish attacks and using his speed and luchosity (that’s a word now, I’ve decided) to flip Morrus around…He spears Morrus with a nice suicide dive…He tries a big slingshot crossbody to the floor a couple of minutes later and gets caught and whipped into the stairs…Morrus tries his own slingshot crossbody and splatters himself…Jimmy Hart interjects liberally into this contest and eventually eats a Psicosis dropkick…That allows Morrus to grab Psicosis and suplex him back into the ring for two…

 

  • Morrus controls (and controls badly, with few interesting ideas and multiple chinlock spots)…Morrus can be watchable, as I said earlier, but he’s really not very watchable tonight…He’s a wrestler who is good for one or two high spots a match and nothing at all in between those spots…Morrus whiffs on a top-rope splash…Psicosis lands a diving wheel kick from the top, but misses a moonsault on follow up…Morrus hits his own moonsault for three…Let’s turn Morrus face soon so at least we don’t have to sit through Morrus control segments anymore…Morrus’s mediocre selling as a babyface is preferable…

 

  • We see the B-Team stuff from last week in a recap while I consider eating half a red velvet cupcake…I’m trying to cut way down on sugar and tone these abs up again…But man, I could go for a red velvet cupcake…What the hell, I’ll cut one in half while Vincent or Virgil or whatever talks…

 

  • That recap took so long that I wrote the previous paragraph…Went to the kitchen…Cut half a cupcake…Stopped to chat with my wife about Elsbeth, which she’s watching, and how enjoyable it is to try and figure out when Vancouver, BC is doubling for New York and when they’re actually shooting in New York…When I came back, the recap was still going…

 

  • Well lookie, lookie, it’s Chris Jericho (w/Ralphus)…He faces the very rambunctious Silver King…Jericho demands a round of applause before the match and actually sort of gets it, along with quite a few boos…I was thinking about Jericho’s 1998 basically being the year where he showed that he should be floating around some major wrestling company’s main event…I was trying to think of the last calendar year I watched in which a wrestler show up on TV and made it clear that they should be main eventing in the near future…I think I’d actually say it was watching Magnum T.A.’s 1984 (and I guess the last couple months of 1983) in Mid-South…I'd never really understood the idea that Magnum was so good that he should have been NWA World Champion…Then I watched 1984 Mid-South…That feud with Mr. Wrestling II is probably on my personal list of top-ten feuds…

 

  • Oh yeah, this match…We get a commercial break early…This is surprisingly competitive as Silver King counters Jericho to death…Silver King hits a lovely springboard crossbody from the ring to the floor…Jericho reverses a suplex attempt into a gourdbuster after getting his ass kicked for awhile…Jericho gets 2.5 off a vertical suplex and a wimpy pin…Now Jericho dominates, and he even chokes Silver King with a cable outside of the ring…Silver King gets revenge in the ring by using his lariat to choke Jericho…The ref has lost control of this one entirely…Jericho whips Silver King with the lariat while Tony S. helpfully points out that Johnny Boone is a newer ref and the wrestlers are taking advantage of his lack of experience…Nicely done, Tony S….

 

  • Jericho working a long, competitive TV match with Silver King, while unexpected, is pretty enjoyable…Now Silver King hits a spinning crucifix toss and a flipping legdrop for two….Jericho manages to shoot King into the ropes, but ducks down and gets DDT’d for his trouble…Jericho kicks out of that move and then works to get out of trouble entirely by pushing for a victory…He is able to catch King’s legs as King tries to leap over him on a corner charge…Jericho whips King to the mat by his legs, holds on, and turns King over in a Lion Tamer that gets a win…That was a fun little match…

 

  • This long video package about the Flairs/Bischoff/Hogan feud has me still baffled…Flair’s not even teasing a heel turn at this point…Hogan’s even farther away from teasing a face turn…I cannot imagine babyface Hulk Hogan wearing red and yellow in 1999…He’d have to go away for awhile and then come back like that for it to have a chance to work…Well, that, and have most of his matches in the northeast of the United States and the east of Canada…

 

  • Super Calo faces Finlay in the third WCW-ass WCW matchup of the night…This is a strange little match…These men have a total style clash, but work through it and end up performing something pretty solid…Calo’s ring attire is absurd…Once Finlay’s finally able to dodge a Calo high risk move attempt, he goes to work inside and outside the ring…Finlay uses some apron-based offense, then grabs a chair…Charles Robinson rips it away and gets booed for being the only referee in this company who displays any competence in kayfabe…Calo struggles to fight back…He finally gets knees up on a Finlay splash attempt, but Finlay uses an eye poke for the second time in the match to regain control…He goes back to using the apron as a weapon…Calo legitimately has four brief comebacks aborted before the fifth kinda sticks…He gets two off a twisting splash…Then he slips and crotches himself while running up the ropes to hit a moonsault… Finlay grabs him out of that position and spikes him with a Tombstone for three…Hey, that was a creative finish…

 

  • I really dig that the taped Thunder episodes tend to have more long wrestling matches and fewer talking segments…I love a well-executed talking segment…I am originally a WWF fan, after all…But WCW doesn’t do those well, and they do in-ring stuff quite well…Bobby Duncum Jr. and Mike Enos face off with Wrath and Van Hammer in this next tag title tournament matchup…Just as I get behind Wrath and Van Hammer becoming the next tag champs, we cut to the back where Disco stands over a fallen Van Hammer…DAMMIT…

 

  • The Wolfpac’s music plays…The Outsiders saunter to the ring…Scott Hall grabs a mic and talks about how great the Outsiders are…The crowd agrees…Hall tells Enos and Duncum to beat it…Enos and Duncum start throwing punches instead…Mike Enos is probably sick of Scott Hall cutting in on all his matches…This is the third time!...Enos is so fired up that he gets two off a powerslam…Enos tags in that bum Duncum, who immediately loses control of the match…DAMMIT, Duncum…Nash rolls Duncum and Jackknifes him for an easy three…Look, please take Enos and Duncum the hell out of this tournament already, President Flair…I don’t think they’ve got a chance to win it…Just a hunch based on the last month of television…

 

  • Disco Inferno is feeling pretty good about himself…He shows an abundance of confidence as his opponent Hector Garza makes his way to the ring…Disco takes time out from preparing to lock up with Garza to look into the corner camera and ask, “How’s my hair? Perfect?”…Oh, Disco, you’re so overconfident, as the start of the match shows…Garza easily controls the match in the early going…Disco has to bail as we go to a commercial break…The break came at the wrong time because we come back to Disco finishing off an offensive burst and Garza bailing…Come on, fellas, figure out more effective places to stick your commercial breaks on this taped stuff…Garza retakes control, baseball slides Disco as Disco wobbles outside the ring, and then lands a second-rope moonsault to Disco outside the ring…Back in the ring, he tries a corkscrew senton splash, but misses that one…Disco quickly hits a Chartbuster for the win…

 

  • They replay the footage of  Curt Hennig getting booted from the nWo…Ah, I see, they tried to kick Hennig out of the limo and into the Ford Taurus, and Hennig wasn’t having that…I do get a kick out of the nWo merger creating redundancies like any other business merger or acquisition...The beatdown is replayed with like twenty quick cuts in it…We next see Bischoff again being bad at his job on the previous Nitro…Flair’s Nitro promo is partially replayed and also has quick cuts in it…I further get a kick out of the people working on Nitro stuff in post getting Craig Leathers disease and desperately trying to do something cool or trendy…The black and white nWo commercials were a long time ago, creatively speaking…

 

  • Bam Bam Bigelow had an improbably good ladder match against Scott Hall on Nitro…I’m not displeased to see Bammer, but usually he’s a crisp worker who does nothing for me…Bammer’s going to kill poor Kaz Hayashi tonight…Bam Bam teases that he’ll gorilla press Kaz into the crowd…Sir, this is Thunder, not a bingo hall…Kaz punches his way out of said gorilla press and locks on a desperation sleeper…Bammer breaks it once, then twice…He embarks upon a decently-entertaining squash from here…There’s a stalling vertical suplex, a bunch of headbutts, and a lot of wandering around and talking to the crowd…Kaz actually dodges a diving headbutt and makes a comeback…He even manages two off a victory roll, which is Bam Bam’s kryptonite when wrestling smaller wrestlers…Bam Bam survives that and lands a Greetings from Asbury Park for three…

 

  • Hey, the main event is about to start and there are still nineteen minutes left in the show!...The Outsiders (w/Disco Inferno, which they don’t realize for awhile, but let him stick around anyway because he’s such an amusing goof) are back in the ring to face Konnan and Rey Misterio Jr.…Konnan hits his modified Catchphrase of Doom…The Outsiders crotch chop him in response…All of this gets pops…It’s almost like the Wolfpac as it was originally constructed + Scott Hall taking out Hogan, Steiner, and the B-Teamers was the thing that everyone actually wanted to see…Fans have been basically cheering the Wolfpac + Scott Hall since the Fingerpoke of Doom, except for when Hall or Nash is attacking Goldberg

 

  • Hall sells a bit for Rey. Hall is maybe the best bigger wrestler at selling for smaller wrestlers…I’ve said before that Hall makes himself bigger to face smaller wrestlers and small to face bigger wrestlers in a way that not many guys can pull off…Honestly, this watch, along with watching some Hall from 1992/1993, just makes me think that he’s probably underrated as a worker…People remember him for his gimmicks and maybe a ladder match or two, but he’s one of the best glue guys ever in American pro wrestling…Put him in there with anyone, even barely in a condition to perform, and he’ll produce something fun more often than not…

 

  • Oh yeah, this match…They work around having Nash and Rey face each other…Nash sells a ton for Konnan…The Outsiders duck out of the way of a Rey dive feint and then look at each other like maybe they underestimated their opponents…Disco offers to get in the ring and take these guys on instead…This is WCW, so the ref just lets him…I guess Charles Robinson got booed for trying to do his job earlier and just gave up in this case...The poor guy is demoralized...Disco tries to tag out after getting beaten up, and after a refusal, Hall just tosses the guy out of the ring…There’s unfortunately a commercial break at this point…

 

  • I say “unfortunately” because Hall got the better of Rey during the break, and now Rey's FIP…I would have liked to see how that happened...Rey taking these huge falls and bumps off of stuff like Snake Eyes or fallaway slams is great, man…He makes everything look a billion times more devastating because of his size and his ability to control his fall in a way that looks like he got launched…

 

  • Rey makes a comeback on Nash after getting killed…Nash tosses Rey away, but into his home corner…Konnan gets a tag because Nash is so careless, destroys Hall and Nash both, and hooks Nash in the Tequila Sunrise…Disco interferes to break it, and Luger and Steiner, followed by everyone else in the nWo, come down and completely blow up what was a good match…Here’s the thing, this match was legitimately fun…I think it should go on my good matches list, but man, I am done with gang beatdown bullshit…It’s been almost three years, fellas…There is a cool spot where a couple of guys stretch Rey and Hogan beats him with the weight belt…But I’m fucking tired of Hogan coming out here and standing tall as the heel…

 

  • You can tell that Nash actually likes Konnan because he tried hard for him…I guess he’ll be jobbing to Rey to show he can do a job or whatever on top of that…I just wish Nash were more engaged most of the time…Then again, we’re heading toward almost a third full year of Hogan on top as a heel…Maybe it’s just easier to collect your money and be a shitty booker/often lethargic worker…Oh yeah, the show scores a WOOO for having mostly good wrestling with no stinkers outside of Hugh Morrus being bad at coming up with ideas in the ring for his control segment…
Edited by SirSmUgly
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Show #177 – 1 February 1999

“The one with way too much nWo and not enough compelling storytelling, which I guess isn’t all that descriptive, is it? Also, Hogan busts out an obscure racial slur, I think”

  • Hennig and Windham show up at the arena and talk about Hennig’s plan to win the tag title tournament and use the gold as bait to get the Outsiders in the ring. The idea of the nWo spreading their beefs too thinly and getting it from all sides as a result is a great one! It’s just that they did it before and nothing came of it.

 

  • Do you like video from earlier today? I SAID, DO YOU LIKE, no, nevermind. Forget it. The point is that we see Scott Steiner creeping on Kimberly at the Nitro Girls's pre-show dance practice and Kimberly catching a concussion while trying to pull herself away from Steiner. I feel trepidation about where all this is going.

 

  • Gene Okerlund interviews Konnan and Rey Misterio Jr. in the ring. I feel trepidation about this, too. At least these fellas speak fluent English in a dialect that Okerlund probably won’t feel the need to mock. Konnan even needs to hit the Catchphrase Roulette before an interview, damn. He also shouts out DJ Quik for some reason. Rey looks like a dumbass in that lWo shirt. He cuts a bland babyface promo that teeters toward being shitty. The fans forgive him anyway. Konnan then compares Rey to a defenseless bank teller in a wheelchair, which is unflattering, and then infers that Hall and Nash will be slurping their dicks like a couple of GAY dudes who are GAY and barely even have penises to stand up and pee with, and yep, I’m ready for this interview to be OVER, please, FUCKING END THIS TERRIBLE THING, and luckily they do.

 

  • Do you like video of B-Teamers trying to rent a car at the MSP airport? I SAID, DO YOU, no, fuck this, the point is that Crush is in disbelief that they can’t even manage to scrape up a Ford Taurus, which is genuinely funny. However, the rest of this B-Teamer stuff has already outlived its comedic usefulness. I guess Stevie Ray got Hogan to send a limo, though they don’t let Vincent in. Vincent calls Kevin Nash for a ride, and I guess they’re literally two limos behind the other limo because the Wolfpac pulls up almost immediately and lets Vincent in. No one watching this show is interested in seeing whether Vincent or Stevie Ray will win control of the B-Team, are they? Are they?!

 

  • The Nitro opening comes at eleven-and-a-half minutes into the show. We get a Nitro routine, no Kimberly. Boy, these first half hours of Nitro lately are brutal. Just hard to watch.

 

  • Ric Flair’s got a new job for Eric Bischoff this week! It’s sitting in a dunk tank outside in the snow since we’re at the Target Center and therefore, Flair wants to have an appropriately thematic punishment for Bischoff. How poetic. Anyway, the dunk tank costs nothing for all the WCW employees lined up to fire softballs at the tank’s target.

 

  • Do you like video of stuff that happened last week? I don’t. Let’s watch Curt Hennig get jumped again anyway.

 

  • It only took about nineteen minutes to get a match on this show. Hennig and Windham come to the ring to face Dean Malenko and Chris Benoit in what I believe is a tag tournament match. Who the hell knows, honestly? Not me. Yeah, Tony S. says that it’s a tournament match. I look forward to getting to SuperBrawl and seeing what the hell even happens with these belts. If they were doing a proper double-elimination tournament, I’d have Benoit and Malenko lose this match and work their way through the losers’ bracket to get a rematch with Windham and Hennig at SuperBrawl, and I say this because these are the only two teams that have been announced so far that seem like they are even remotely built up enough to win the tournament. I’d personally rather have Wrath and Van Hammer or Kidman and Chavo as champs, but even more than that, I’d rather have actual tag teams that haven’t been jammed together randomly win the titles.

 

  • Benoit lands a bunch of chop-kick-punch offense on Hennig to start. He tags Malenko, who pretty much hits the same offense except with fewer chops. We go to break with Hennig looking like he might not ever get a chance to tag Windham in, he’s in so much trouble. Back from break, all four men are brawling outside the ring, but Benoit brings Hennig back in and thumps both he and Windham. For whatever reason, we need a long shot of that doofus Scott Dickinson sitting in the crowd. Back to the match, Hennig manages to dodge a Benoit attack and make Benoit the face in peril, even as I think that Benoit would be better as the hot tag. Maybe Malenko needs to take it easier in this match since he’s coming back from injury.

 

  • Windham scores a series of two counts on Benoit. Windham and Hennig cut off the ring, thoroughly misdirect Mickey Jay’s attention, and bash Benoit around ringside. Benoit endures some punishment and surprises Hennig by reversing an Irish whip and then managing a flash Crippler Crossface that Windham needs to jump in and break up. Hennig just cannot keep control of the match even with Windham’s help, however, and Malenko’s in off the hot tag. Malenko can only score one two count on Windham, and then after stereo tags, the match breaks down again. Benoit dispatches of Hennig and then, in a spot that probably seemed creative when they talked about it beforehand, but that actually looked pretty bad, launches himself in a flying headbutt on Windham after Windham hits Malenko with a superplex. That’s bad news for Benoit, who sells the head damage and is easy pickings for Hennig’s follow-up PerfectPlex. The match was fine, but the crowd heat definitely made it seem better than it was.

 

  • J.J. Dillon’s aim is so bad at the dunk tank that the tech working this thing has to dump Bischoff into the water even though Dillon misses the target badly like five times in a row. La Parka dances when Bischoff hits the water.

 

  • Stevie and Vincent continue to battle for B-Team supremacy, but the A-Teamers (minus Hogan, who thankfully isn’t in the building according to Nash) and Scott Norton calm things down.

 

  • There’s a commercial break.

 

  • Stevie and the B-Teamers complain about how they think they won’t have a decent locker room, but I guess the Wolfpac got some ladies to come to their locker room and say HI, BLACK-AND-WHITE (not “black and white,” but black-and-white) GUYS, and the black-and-white guys are like hehehehehehehehe all lecherously and stuff.

 

  • Speaking of lechers, here’s Gene Okerlund! Also speaking of lechers, Okerlund brings Ric Flair to the ring for our weekly Flair diatribe. Flair points out the nWo’s internal political battle and calls Mike Jones (WHO?!) “Virgil,” and you know what, let’s just call him “Virgil,” dammit. Like Crush is still Crush. Flair threatens Hogan while a guy holds a SHUT UP DAMNIT AND WRESTLE sign up behind him. Yeah, sorry Flair, but I agree. Flair does his whole “NWA Legends are the best” deal, per the usual.

 

  • Flair rambles and rambles and rambles and books Chris Benoit against Bret Hart for the U.S. Championship at SuperBrawl. Well, I guess unless they’re going to have Benoit wrestle twice in one night – which they might – that sort of spoils who won’t be in the finals of the tag title tournament. Disco and Scott Hall interrupt Flair’s interview at this point. I love that as Disco walks to the ring, someone holds up a sign that says I GET IT NOW WITH DISCO INFERNO. It took you that long, fella? Hall thinks that he should be the number one contender for the U.S. Championship rather than Flair’s “car washer” Benoit. They have an okay enough promo battle during which Hall says he’d beat Benoit right now. Benoit storms down and, uh, okay, so Benoit can’t just say he’s going to put his boot up Hall’s ass, he says, in maybe one of the grossest threats ever made: “Just wait until I loose [sic] my foot up in your brown eye.” What the fuck, Benoit? WHAT THE FUCK?! Get this weirdo off my TV and never let him on the mic again.

 

  • Will Kenny Kaos chiggedy-check himself before he wrecks himself tonight as he faces off with Van Hammer? I don’t know, but this Nitro is killing me, man. We have how many more months of this before WCW’s showrunners balance their wrestling and promos properly again? Like twelve or fourteen or eighteen months' worth of shows? Damn it. Tenay gives his condolences to the family of Giant Baba, who passed away in the previous few days before the show. I’ve actually been watching quite a bit of Baba lately for the first time in my life. What a strange pro wrestler. If you put ‘70s Baba into the Nitro era of WCW, he'd dominate my Charming Uniquities list. I’ll say this: He might be one of my favorite comedy spot workers ever already. Just the way he shuts down heel goofiness is hilarious.

 

  • So, two things of note in this match. First, Scott Dickinson storms out of the arena. Second, after Van Hammer scores a quick win with a powerslam, Sandman James Hardcore Hak comes out in rubber-tipped barbed wire and destroys Hammer with a Singapore cane. Sandman is really good shape, especially for Sandman. He’s got a dad bod thing going on where his chest and arms are big because he lifts weights in the garage and does manual labor for a living, but you see his midsection and can tell he still drinks like two beers a night after work (at least) and then a bunch of beers on the weekends while throwing down potato chips and watching sports in a La-Z-Boy. Hak talks about how he’s the original, most hardcor-iest of dudes and calls out BAM BAM BAGELOW for pretending to be the hardest of hardcores, which Bigelow did kinda say he was last week. Hak calls out Bagelow Bigelow and hangs out in the ring as we go to break.

 

  • Bigelow marches down after the break and Hak hammers him with the cane. Man, glad Hak got his chance in the big leagues, but 1999 WCW is not the right time or place for him to make that leap. Anyway, we get cane shot, cane shot, cane shot cane shot for a few minutes. Bammer finally is able to post Hak a couple of times. Bigelow gets in the chair and drills Hak with an unprotected chair shot to the dome. Bigelow picks a very twisted chair back up and hits Hak in the back. The crowd is here for the high spots. Hak kills a Bam Bam corner charge with a boot, grabs his kendo stick again, and hits Bigelow before bulldogging Bigelow into the chair and grabbing his spool of barbed wire. Hak sets it up in one corner, and after a fight in the opposite corner, tease a barbed wire spot that doesn’t happen.

 

  • There are some other spots in there using the kendo stick and chair, and then finally Hak gets sent into the barbed wire, splashed in the corner, and drilled with a diving headbutt. The crowd liked that. Bam Bam finishes Hak off with a Greetings from Asbury Park onto the chair. This was a mediocre garbage brawl, but the crowd enjoyed the big weapon spots well enough, and again, I think, they made the match come off better than it was.

 

  • I mean, no one can hit this target on this dunk tank. You know what’s hilarious? The next production guy misses a ton of throws, but when he does actually land a hit, it’s not hard enough to trigger the latch. “Somebody tell [the production guy] this is only a three hour show,” quips Tony S., and in fact, if I find out that Bischoff somehow kayfabe rigged the dunking machine, that would be pretty good, actually. This is WCW, however, so I just assume that the machine didn’t work and everyone in the office sucks at throwing a softball.

 

  • Liz and Lex Luger completely demolish any coolness that the black-and-white nWo promos have by cutting a barely average one together. They’ll be a good heel power couple soon, or at least I remember liking them, but this nWo stuff isn’t the wave.

 

  • Scott Dickinson is from Boston, so you’d think a man who obviously loves the SAWX would be better at hitting a target from fairly close range with a softball. He finally dunks Bischoff through sheer will while Bischoff confusedly yells that he hadn’t even DONE anything to Dickinson, GEEZ, he’s going to remember this TRAVESTY.

 

  • Billy Kidman lets DDP know about Scott Steiner hurting Kimberly before the show as soon as Page arrives at the arena. Page storms into the nWo locker room and asks where Steiner is. The Wolfpac professes to be confused about why Page is so mad, and actually, it seems like they totally missed Steiner harassing Kimberly earlier before the show. Not that they're all that concerned about it when they do learn, mind you. Page challenges Steiner to a fight and storms out. As it turns out, Steiner is in a back room getting busy with one of the ladies from earlier, so Nash has Virgil go after Page with two directives: 1) Find DDP and tell him that Steiner will fight him, and 2) slap the shit out of Page when you tell him.

 

  • Virgil steps outside the room and gives Disco Inferno two directives: 1) Find DDP and tell him that Steiner will fight him, and 2) slap the shit out of Page when you tell him. Now, Virgil also says that the nWo is going to run down and jump page on cue after the slap, which is something that he just made up. It works at making Disco comfortable enough to do it, though! 

 

  • Page is in the ring seething when Disco makes it to the ring and says that Steiner will accept his challenge for SuperBrawl. He then slaps Page, who cannot believe that this twerpy little fuck dared to touch him. One Diamond Cutter later, he storms away in anger. Back in the Wolfpac locker room, Nash decides on behalf of the whole room that it’s funny that Virgil figured out a way to outsource that ass whipping. Page leaves for the hospital. End scene.

 

  • It's a Lash LeRoux sighting on Nitro! Holy shit, we really are in the end times for WCW, aren’t we? LeRoux faces the WCW Cruiserweight Champion Billy Kidman in what is probably a title match for some moronic reason. Yup, it is. I’d rather have the weekly top ten come back and be strictly adhered to than to have random dudes with no wins on Nitro or Thunder get title shots.

 

  • LeRoux is wrestling like he might never get on television again if he fucks up this appearance. He hits a Frankensteiner from the apron to the floor and then runs up the ring stairs to try and crossbody Kidman against the railing before splattering himself on the concrete. Kidman does hit his follow-up vaulting crossbody, however. LeRoux regains control in the ring with a spinning powerbomb that actually lands, but he’s not good enough to keep it for very long. Kidman fights up once, but LeRoux takes over and does one of the goofiest spots I’ve seen in awhile with some dancing right hooks, the splits, and a lariat. The desk wonders where Heenan is since he normally joins the desk at this point. Bored Minnesotans in the crowd chant GREEN BAY SUCKS. Kidman misses a frog splash. LeRoux has run through all the spots he wanted to make sure to get in and barely works a resthold again.

 

  • Kidman fights up and runs himself into a Northern Lights with a bridge for two. LeRoux sets Kidman up top for a top-rope rana, but he celebrates like a dope and gets countered. Both men trade two counts and counters until LeRoux tries another powerbomb like a dummy. Come on now, you aren’t getting two successful powerbombs off in the same match against Kidman unless you’re, like, Kevin Nash or Sid or someone. Kidman counters with a facebuster and hits an SSP for the win. Lash LeRoux is a total goofball. I can’t take him seriously. He is perfectly booked when he becomes Corporal Cajun in a few months.

 

  • Heenan has missed the start of his shift because he is out there at the dunk tank. He grabs all the softballs and walks over to hand them to Eric because he doesn’t want to get involved with all the office politics, but then he slips and crashes into the target, dunking Bischoff. He could be a dope or just obfuscating his dopiness, who knows?

 

  • Hogan and Chuck Zito have a boring conversation in a limo. Zito complains about the “jiggly camera,” and then Hogan says, and I swear on my life to you he says this: JIGGLY JIGGLY JEW. Then he chuckles. Hogan is busting out racial slurs that I’ve never even heard before! He truly is a Florida Man.

 

  • Seriously, Vince Russo is one of the biggest babyfaces ever for getting Hogan off WCW television permanently. You can’t change my mind about this.

 

  • Gene Okerlund and Booker T. sip something out of red Solo cups and have a conversation about what’s going on while standing in a hallway. This is the chillest that Gene has ever been. Toss some whiskey or brandy into a red Solo cup and let Gene sip as he interviews, and he just loosens right up. Booker is vexed by Bret Hart beating him last week and kayfabe injuring him last year and needs to figure out how to get back on track. He’s hoping to do so against Disco Inferno at SuperBrawl, which he’s just been informed is his first PPV match of 1999.

 

  • Scott Steiner and Buff Bagwell walk out, and I think to myself that I’d rather be watching RAW right now. Two massive channel changers, these fellas are. I don’t want to see them get beaten up by righteous babyfaces; I just want them off my television. Steiner gets a mic and says the word “mesmerized” like this: MEMZ-MER-IZED. Steiner doesn’t like white trash, specifically DDP, his words and not mine, and then he tells Page that he’s going to have sex with Kimberly. I assume that he hasn’t considered the concept of consent. I also assume that he can’t pronounce the word “consent.” Anyway, this whole speech gets a babyface pop from the Minnesotan crowd, which I’d be appalled by, but we’re in 1999, so I’m just going to sigh and move along.

 

  • *sigh*

 

  • Chris Jericho is back on TV and is now doing jobs. I repeat, he is back on television and now doing jobs. He comes out here alongside Ralphus to get killed by Scott Steiner. Jericho actually sends Ralphus to the back, probably because he doesn’t want poor Ralphus to get killed by Steiner and Buff. Hey, guy with the WHERE IS JERICHO sign, he’s literally in the ring right now. You can put your sign down.

 

  • Steiner shoves Jericho around, gets top position, throws some meaty soupbones, and gorilla presses the high-profile job guy. Jericho does make a comeback with a kick combo and a springboard dropkick.  Jericho tries to follow up outside, but Bagwell clobbers him and allows Steiner to take the match over. Steiner beats Jericho with a chair, which I guess is legal in this TV title match. Steiner gets caught and has his throat draped over the top rope, but after Jericho hits a diving elbow, he tries a wimpy pin, and Steiner grabs his leg, hits a single-leg takedown, and goes back to dominating.

 

  • Jericho is basically wrestling a handicap match because Charles Robinson has zero control of this bout. He actually manages bursts of control and even forces Steiner to hit a flash small package to stop a burst of Jericho offense. This match is just two guys crashing into each other, with occasional Buff interference and Steiner smothering Jericho sometimes for the hell of it. Buff distracts Jericho and eats a dropkick so that Steiner can grab Jericho and hit a capture suplex. Steiner tries a wimpy pin himself, but Jericho kicks out and even lands an Asai moonsault for two.

 

  • These fellas are having a match that feels stiff as hell. Steiner regains control, hits a pumphandle slam for two, and then runs into a Jericho kick. Jericho thinks about following up, but decides that he’s had enough with taking suplexes and forearms from Scott Steiner. As he backs away from the ring, he backs right into Saturn, who clubs him and tosses him back in the ring. Steiner follows up with a lariat and a Steiner Recliner for the win. Huh. These dudes either really did beat the hell out of one another, or they did a fine job of making it seem like they were. I think I liked the match.

 

  • Lex Luger, Kevin Nash, and Liz come to the ring for interview time. Luger sounds like a dope for a bit, but then hands Kevin Nash the mic so that we might get a decent interview here. They respond to the earlier challenge from Konnan and Rey Misterio Jr. Somewhere in there, I suppose that I forgot that the babyfaces said this earlier what with all the queerbaiting nonsense that Konnan was jabbering on about, they made a classic Luchas de Apuestas mask-vs.-hair challenge. Nash agrees to the challenge, but he’s putting Liz’s hair on the line. Boy, the Wolfpac are really getting their mega-heel heat by not asking any of the women they know for consent of any type, huh? She freaks out before calming down, but it’s a SHOOT truth that no one on earth is buying that Nash, Luger, or Liz are cutting their hair for this angle.

 

  • Ernest Miller comes to the ring with Sonny Onoo. Miller bullies Penzer into announcing him as THE GREATEST. Then, the Cat does some boilerplate heeling on the mic. He says that he needs a fight. Please, can we finally get the payoff of Goldberg walking out and killing him about three months after it should have happened? No, we get the far less satisfying booking of the Wolfpac telling Scott Norton that the Cat just insulted him and Norton coming out instead. Meanwhile, the Cat insults a woman and her dental work, which may or may not have infuriated her husband, who the hell can tell.

 

  • Norton gets in the ring, and though the Cat initially begs off, he tries to kick Norton and gets no-sold. Norton then beats the shit out of this dude. Seriously, he chops holy hell outta this dude. Norton gets a little complacent and the Cat dropkicks him in the knee, then attacks the injured leg with a series of kicks. The thing is that all he’s got is kicks, so Norton catches one and turns it into a suplex, then proceeds with the beating again. The Cat tries an eye poke. No effect. The Cat hits Norton in the berries. That has more of an effect, but Norton just chops the shit out of the guy anyway. The Cat’s chest is red as hell, man, Norton absolutely chopped the shit out of him.

 

  • Miller’s got fight. He gets his spots of offense in here and there, even gets a two count, but needs more juice. He grabs Sonny Onoo from Onoo’s spot on the apron and tosses him toward Norton as a diversion, then hits a couple of kicks that Norton no-sells. Miller tries a Feliner, but Norton dodges it, hits a lariat and lands a powerbomb for three. Stiff match, but I’m let down that Goldberg wasn’t the one having that stiff match instead.

 

  • Speaking of Goldberg, he comes to the ring for an interview with Gene Okerlund. Okerlund talks about that whole Starrcade mess, but Goldberg is bored by reliving the past. Okerlund next brings up Bam Bam Bigelow, and Goldberg cuts an acceptable enough promo, I guess. Basically, he plans to beat up Bigelow next, so I guess by “next,” that means “at SuperBrawl.”

 

  • Flair dunks Bischoff with two hands pressing the target. Bischoff swears that he’ll have the last laugh and alludes to David being on deck for a beatdown or whatever.

 

  • Buffer lets us know that the winner of Hall/Benoit will be facing Bret “Hitman” Clark at SuperBrawl for the U.S. Championship. Ah yes, it’s 1999, and Buffer is losing the ability to care or try. Buffer says that Benoit has a family legacy and comes from a massive family tree in pro wrestling. It’s 1999, so is it even possible to give a shit anymore? Ah, now Buffer tells us that Chris Benoit is the master of the CRIPPLE CROSSFACE. Maybe save some of the money you’re spending on Buffer for better stuff, Bischoff. Like the KISS Demon.

 

  • Bret Hart hijacks Tenay’s spot at the desk as the match starts. He shouts out Smokey. Bless that cat. Benoit snot rockets and dragon whips Hall in the ring in the meantime. Hall consults with Disco outside the ring, and Disco immediately gets involved, tripping Benoit. It doesn’t help that much. Next, Hall and Disco try a team-up off an Irish whip, but Benoit dodges it and dropkicks Hall into Disco, then locks on a Crippler Crossface that Disco recovers and breaks up. That’s when Mongo McMichael, only a week away from his final WCW appearance, spends his penultimate Nitro marching to the ring and kicking the shit out of Disco. Mongo beats Disco down all the way to the back, then tosses him in a locker room where Arn Anderson is waiting with a tire iron in hand as we go to break. That was kind of a neat in-match spot.

 

  • Back from break, Benoit slaps on a headlock and gets countered by getting dropped nuts-first on the top rope. Hall takes over as Bret rants about beating either of the men in the ring. Bret calls it THE SUPERBRAWL and then dumps the headset and storms off. Hall goes to his signature leveraged abdominal stretch spot and keeps control even after he has to break it. Benoit chops his way back into the match and hits a lariat. He even goes so far as to successfully land a diving headbutt, then fight an interfering Kevin Nash off before uncharacteristically hopping up to the top rope in moonsault position. Hall has the wherewithal to knock Benoit down and use the leverage he has to lift Benoit up into a Razor’s Edge that he nails for three. I do not remember anything about this Hart/Hall title match happening.

 

  • Great, we’re going to end on Hogan and Zito, these two fucking clowns, and their garbage shit-talking. They’re sitting in a limo waiting for David Flair to show up at the gym, as that is the one place where you can beat the shit out of David Flair to get his dad all fired up per the rules of professional wrestling. Since it’s being filmed, Ric catches it on a monitor backstage and freaks out as Hogan and Zito cut the tape before following Ric's son into the gym.

 

  • I didn’t enjoy this Nitro. Also, it's amazing that Hogan somehow wasn't named in one of the multiple WCW racial discrimination lawsuits from this era. 1.5 out of 5 Stinger Splashes
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Thunder Interlude – show number forty-nine – 4 February 1999

"The WCW Gang bores me to death with mediocre matches and B-Team antics that have rapidly diminishing comedic returns"

  • I notice, as Hogan drops that, um, awkward JIGGLY JIGGLY JEW comment in the replay of his garbage promos with Chuck Zito on the Nitro, previous that, whereas the Nitro captioner spelled it as written above, the Thunder captioner gave Hogan the benefit of the doubt and captioned it JIGGLY JIGGLY JOO…Needless to say, I’m not quite going to give Hogan the benefit of the doubt myself…

 

  • Either way, there are still like three weeks of television until this Flair/Hogan PPV match…Three weeks!...I’m not sure whether the last two months of WCW television or the two months starting the day after Bash at the Beach ’98 and running up through Fall Brawl ’98 are the worst stretches of television in my watch so far…It’s close…I think the past two months from Starrcade to SuperBrawl will end up worse unless there’s a drastic turnaround in the next three weeks…That’s because at least late summer/early fall of 1998 had the Raven/Saturn feud going…

 

  • Arn Anderson talks on the phone about David Flair…I…don’t…CAAAAAAARE…David’s okay according to Arn's side of the convo, I guess…

 

  • Scotty Riggs’s eye has healed!...I repeat, Scotty Riggs’s eye has healed!...Before we can see his opponent, we get a shot of the B-Teamers (minus Virgil) complaining about Virgil while sitting in a limo…There was no need to cut away for this…Anyway, Chris Jericho (w/Ralphus) is Riggs’s opponent…Jericho once again slaps Ralphus and sends him away…Jericho does some basic inciting of the crowd before the match…There’s a terrible-looking catapult in the first few minutes that totally takes me out of things for a bit…It takes Tony S. like five minutes to note the lack of eye patch on Riggs and he claims that Raven wouldn’t let Riggs go see a doctor about it, which is why Riggs needed the patch so long...Only after the Flock blew up did Riggs apparently take himself for medical treatment…That’s a nice touch…

 

  • There’s a commercial break in this one…When we come back, Jericho continues his control of the bout with only a couple of small hitches…Jericho tosses Penzer aside and takes Penzer’s chair…He dives at Riggs with it and gets it kicked into his face…Riggs gets two off a crossbody, but Jericho takes right back over…Riggs keeps fighting and is able to manage to clash into a Jericho crossbody with one of his own, then beat Jericho to his feet…Still, Jericho quickly hits a jawbreaker and seems clearly a couple of levels or three above Riggs…

 

  • Riggs finally blocks an Asai moonsault with his knees and makes his comeback…Riggs goes up for punches in the corner, but Jericho shoves him down…Jericho tries to get a Lion Tamer locked on, but Riggs reaches the ropes…Riggs catches Jericho with a high knee as Jericho complains to the ref…That gets 2.9, and that’s as close as Riggs gets to victory…Jericho sidesteps a Riggs dive and locks on a Lion Tamer for the win…That was perfectly acceptable televised professional wrestling right there…

 

  • The Lex-and-Liz nWo commercial plays again…I’m still bummed about the Wolfpac never reaching its potential…I hope Sting is coming back soon because the long-term story of his and Lex’s friendship is really interesting to me…That’s a feud that could be very good…

 

  • We need to get this Luger/Nash/Rey/Konnan story out of the way first, though…I’m not vibing with any of this stuff…We get video of Rey’s comments from Nitro…Rey is actively shitty on the mic…Oh no, now we’re replaying some of what Konnan said…Most of it is just the Luchas de Apuestas challenge, though, thankfully…Konnan did mention putting “your valet’s hair on the line,” which I missed…Now we get Nash and Luger responding to the challenge…This match has the least possible suspense in terms of who is going to win…Let’s just get this unmasking over and done with…

 

  • Disorderly Conduct has been allowed to leave the confines of WCWSN and Worldwide and make a rare Thunder appearance…They are fodder for Rey Misterio Jr. and Konnan…Konnan hits his Catchphrase Roulette…Misterio shakes off a Hotshot from Tough Tom and rolls him, then hits a plancha onto both members of Disorderly Conduct…I think we’re going to get Rey and Konnan rolling through them in a squash, but we get a bit of a Rey FIP segment…On one hand, I get the idea; Rey is undersized and is going to suffer against heavyweights…But on the other hand, Rey should be rolling both members of Disorderly Conduct…He is much better than them and is booked as on a higher level than them, size difference or no…Vinnie Jr. booked Rey as a cruiserweight able to compete with heavyweights really well in Rey’s title run, I thought…I think that sort of booking fits here…

 

  • Rey and Konnan win when Billy Silverman decides that RULES ARE FOR FOOLS and counts an illegal Misterio pin of Tom while also signaling for Mike’s submission to Konnan’s Tequila Sunrise…Disorderly Conduct struggled with their timing and positioning during this match…That’s why they’re usually left back on the C-shows, I guess…

 

  • The B-Teamers stand around and watch for a limo as Virgil rolls up three hours late…Crush and Horace and mad that Virgil wasn’t there to help them formulate a plan for their tag team title tournament match later tonight…Did y’all need three hours for that?...They ask where Virg got the limo, and he says that Hogan sent it for him…Stevie does make me laugh by asking Virgil ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR PSYCHOTIC, EVER-LOVING MIND?!...But yeah, the B-Team stuff has already been driven into the dirt…

 

  • Back from break, Stevie Ray calls the Faces of Fear “two fish-eatin’ chumps from Gilligan’s Island”…I’m ashamed that I laughed at that…Also, get Stevie on color already…Virgil tries to take charge, but Crush snarls at him, “You know what, your MOMMA’S in charge”…Maybe let Stevie talk for you, buddy…

 

  • Tenay and Heenan getting on Tony S.’s case about pronouncing Nor-MON Smi-LAY’s name properly each week is hilarious to me…It’s a genuinely funny running joke…Holy shit, it’s the fucking Disciple…DO…NOT!!!…JOB NORMAN SMILEY TO THE DAMNED DISCIPLE…The crowd starts a derisive BEEEEEFCAAAAAKE chant…

 

  • I’m just sitting here, deeply invested in the booking of this match, don’t mind me…Beefcake is getting too much offense in…He struts…Norman warms up the Wiggle…The Wiggle is better than the Beefcake strut…Beefcake’s strut is the worst version of the Fargo strut by far…Beefcake couldn’t get up for the stalling underhook slam, so Smiley just has to power him over in a suplex…Beefcake is worthless, man, why is he getting any offense in?...This should have been over in thirty seconds…Smiley hits the Big Wiggle, survives a few Beefcake punches, and then reverses an Irish whip into a Norman Conquest for the submission victory…Thank goodness...One of you posting in this thread said something about no more Ed Leslie…EXPLAIN YOURSELF…What the hell was this, then?...

 

  • Crush and Horace Hogan hype each other up and bitch about Stevie and Virgil for a bit…Disco walks up and asks if they’ve seen ol’ Virg, who, if you’ll recall, sent him out there to eat a Diamond Cutter on Nitro…The plot thickens…But I wish it’d thin out instead…And then get poured down the drain…

 

  • The Faces of Fear (w/Jimmy Hart) face Crush and Hogan the Younger…Well, if you’re not counting the two matches that were No Contests, the Faces of Fear do in fact have a win in this tournament, so it’s at least logical that they’re facing another pair of winners…I typically love the Faces of Fear, but they’ve been in a bunch of shitty matches since they’ve come back…This starts out that way, but there’s a lot of FoF control that’s pretty enjoyable…Horace is the weakest link in this thing…The biggest issue is that it’s a long and heatless slog…But it’s boring rather than offensive, which is an improvement on recent FoF matches…

 

  • Jimmy Hart puts the boots to Horace outside the ring…Virgil runs down and whacks Hart with Stevie Ray’s slapjack…Hart is clean out and now the FoF don’t have the man advantage outside the ring…I’m hoping that we hurry up and get to the finish…Barb gets two on a double-underhook powerbomb…He loads the boot and nails a Kick of Fear, but Crush makes the save…Crush and Meng tangle outside the ring, which draws Charles Robinson’s attention…Virgil gets on the apron and clobbers Barb in the back of the head as Barb tries to hit Horace with a superplex…Horace follows from his position on the ropes with an icky-looking elbowdrop and gets an academic three count…Virgil stole that slapjack from Stevie’s bag again as we see after the break…Stevie promises to “kill that sad-sack sap”…I can’t believe that I'm gonna have to sit through Mark Madden on color when Stevie’s right there…

 

  • We get a bunch of SuperBrawl build and Nitro recap…Unlike the Rey/Konnan vs. Luger/Nash match, I have zero idea who is winning Hall/Hitman…I also wonder if they’re ever going to come back around and address that Hart/Hogan alliance and Hart’s alliance with the nWo, even if he never explicitly claimed membership…

 

  • Bam Bam Bigelow works a squash match against Jerry Flynn…Flynn locks on an early cross-arm breaker, but when that doesn’t work, he’s cooked…Bigelow wins a short match with a Greetings from Asbury Park…

 

  • Stevie and Virgil have to be pulled apart in the locker room…No sooner has Stevie been pulled away from choking Virgil than does Disco hop in and choke Virgil…This is way too many segments for a bunch of guys who aren’t over and, except for Stevie Ray and Disco, can’t talk…

 

  • Recap of Scott Steiner harassing Kimberly straight into an injury…Kim took a pretty good bump, actually…We see the fallout with an enraged Page as the recap goes along…

 

  • This show has had both a Disciple and a Glacier appearance…In 1999…DDP shows up to squash this goof Glacier…Page has been booked so strangely over the past half-year…Most of his angles revolve around Kimberly being threatened by nWo members…He lost the U.S. Championship back to a guy who was legit injured for some reason…He’s barely been on TV lately, but before this match, his last one was a loss to Scott Steiner for the TV title, of all titles…He came out of the Raven feud way over (sounds familiar, doesn’t it?)…Then they made him the glue guy/planner for the Hogan celebrity tag matches…They gave him a title shot where he had Goldberg’s best match…And then they had him trade the U.S. title back and forth before being shunted into this feud…This is a woefully ineffective way to book a guy who came out of the Raven feud in the first third of 1997 on fire…Anyway, Page hits an elevated Diamond Cutter for three…

 

  • I just realized that Randy Savage showed up on the last Nitro of 1998, but has not made a television appearance since then…Commentary’s not even talking about him…That’s weird…

 

  • Our main event is another tag tournament match, this time between Mike Enos and Bobby Duncum Jr., who I don’t believe have won a single stinking match in this thing, and in fact have had like three No Contests somehow, and Curt Hennig and Barry Windham, who have…The West Texas Rednecks EXPLODE…Not literally, unfortunately, they’re still going to exist at some point in this watch…This is, of no surprise to me, a competently-worked borefest…Eventually, the match breaks down…The match always breaks down…I actually embrace the use of common tropes in any art, but it just feels like the way WCW employs match tropes in 1999 is without art or a sense of what the use of said trope is going to achieve…Enos plays FIP, insofar as either of these teams are babyface…Duncum gets a lukewarmm hot tag and sells a Windham lariat that barely glances him for three…

 

  • This show was boring as FUCK…If they’re going to make Thunder an inconsequential wrestling show littered with recaps, that’s fine…But don’t make it the B-Team show…And put some better matchups on this thing…Jericho/Riggs was acceptable, and that was by far the best of the long matches (I’m not counting the squashes in this discussion as they had a different purpose than the longer matches and also, by the nature of a squash, didn't overstay themselves)…The crowd started BO-RING chants at multiple points tonight, and I agreed with them…this gets an OWW
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3 hours ago, SirSmUgly said:

Thunder Interlude – show number forty-nine – 4 February 1999

  • Scotty Riggs’s eye has healed!...I repeat, Scotty Riggs’s eye has healed!.…It takes Tony S. like five minutes to note the lack of eye patch on Riggs and he claims that Raven wouldn’t let Riggs go see a doctor about it, which is why Riggs needed the patch so long...Only after the Flock blew up did Riggs apparently take himself for medical treatment…That’s a nice touch…
  • One of you posting in this thread said something about no more Ed Leslie…EXPLAIN YOURSELF…What the hell was this, then?...
  • i always liked that touch as well. is Riggs already doing a lame hearthrob angle or does that come a little bit later? i did like how ECW kinda built off that with the Scotty Anton debut and "the clap"
  • i don't think it was me that said that, but just so you know, there's still one more Disciple appearance you'll see. He also has a number of C-show appearances as well, but that's not really relevant here.
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On 5/22/2024 at 6:33 AM, zendragon said:

On the Plus side No More Ed Leslie!!!

Quote

I had no idea and am AGHAST the man with a thousand gimmicks and minimal talent stuck around this long!

IT WAS YOUUUUUUU

*points at zendragon, starts chanting*

SHAME SHAME SHAME SHAME SHAME SHAME SHAME SHAME 

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