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RolandTHTG

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Everything posted by RolandTHTG

  1. I just got out of hospital - had 3 wisdom teeth removed and dislocated jaw operated on. Needless to say I'm on some pretty good medication. I was watching some WCW PPVs, was falling in and out of sleep, so at some point it's turned over into a porno, and I hallucinated that there was a 4 Horsemen porn, where Arn is taking this girl from behind and screaming at her "THIS IS WHAT A WALK BEHINDER LOOKS LIKE", whilst Pillman, Flair and Benoit watch on. Something happened, then I'm in an ambulance arguing with the paramedics that my ambulance membership is still valid and I don't have to pay, all of a sudden I hear "he aint paying...he's with me", look over in this dark corner of the ambulance and it's Bunkhouse Buck. We're nearly at the hospital when the ambulance gets hit by an explosion, ...its the Hobgoblin, who for whatever reason is hammering on the side of the ambulance with a small wrench, which is doing little to it. Bunkhouse Buck and the Hobgoblin are brawling out the front of the ambulance, when he's attacked by the rest of the Horsemen, with the exception of Arn who is still nailing this rat from behind, taking great exception at being called a walk behinder. The Hobgoblin has joined the 4 Horsemen. Not really sure why and still probably not the worst porno I've ever watched.
  2. The inevitable Gorilla-Joey Marella feud for control would have been something. Throw in the Rosetti sisters for a Marella in every corner Wrestlemania too..
  3. BARK LIKE A DOG, TRISH. USE YOUR OCCIPITAL PROTUBERANCE, AND BARK LIKE A DOG. OH BOY!
  4. WCW signs the hottest free agent of the time, Raven. ...who then debuts as whiny Jewish stereotype, Morty Goldstein, and immediately starts a feud with Alex Wright. Jeep Swanson is still on the roster and makes an appearance during the one off Belsen Death Match, refereed by Fritz Von Erich. Barry Horrowitz makes the save, and Alex Wright is tied to a giant Star of David. The feud is immediately relegated to WCW Saturday Night, and after using a loaded yarmulke gimmick, both men are quickly released. Sonny Onoo settles out of court for 45 million.
  5. Russo cuts a promo at the 9/11 Smackdown tapings, and declares Kevin Sullivan, JJ Dillon and Brad Siegel responsible for the 9/11 attacks, because they hate him, and he's from New York BAYBEE. Kurt Angle wins the title at Unforgiven, and dedicates the title to Osama.
  6. The Higher Power is revealed to be Brian Pillman. He hasn't actually faked his own death, they've just literally dug up a corpse and put it in the ring. Despite the millions in fines and jail time for all involved, bro, I swear to you, I'm shooting here, it made page 4 in USA Today, which made it all worth it.
  7. You forgot to add the part where David gets the Honky Tonk Man gimmick and smashes balsa wood guitars over someone's head during every match. Wayne Ferris is then brought in as an Elvis impersonator impersonator and he and David feud over who is the better Elvis clone. "David Sammartino's friend from the streets of Memphis".,,,,,these two have a past history! ...Wayne Ferris is then revealed as Elvis's killer. Lisa Marie Presley is bought in for the blow off at WM. Lisa Marie turns on Gene Okerlund.
  8. WWE development signs a Brazilian guy, who is immediately called up to the main roster, as a psychotic heel who runs in on matches to deliver Brazilians to the babyface. His reign of terror is interrupted by Mr. No Hair, No Flair himself, leading to a match with stipulations that if Flair loses, he must re-neg on this. The angle lasts two TV eps of pubic hair related beatdows before Flair exposes his genitalia on TV.
  9. Ric Flair gets a concussion and becomes Carsson Kressley and starts doing Flair Eye For The Straight Guy vignettes, which involve him falling out with Arn Anderson over his fanny pack. A Ric Flair/Pat Patterson wedding is interrupted as everyone turns on Sting (making a one off appearance as Flair's best man). Flair has pretended to be gay to lure Sting into yet another trap. Sting then buys the Blue Oyster Bar, which happened to be around the corner from the White Castle Of Fear (whole another story) and shenanigans ensue.
  10. Savage/Liz breakup leads to revelations that Savage giving Liz an incurable form of herpes known only as "Macho Madness". Savage/Dusty with a cure on a pole match.
  11. Ricky Steamboat becomes a Singaporean gangster with a ponytail renamed Ricky Speedboat. It's discovered that him and Sonny Onoo are half brothers. Noodles on a pole match ensues. They are brought together as a team by Lloyd from Entourage.
  12. They used to run the same battle royale in England every time in the early 90s. Goes down to Bulldog and two heels, miscommunication between heels, Bulldog wins.
  13. Owen would have ended up in a Hardcore Holly like role. Probably done Tough Enough. If he's still wrestling, maybe ends up in a JBL type role due to the brand split and lack of top guys available. Him in ECW in Christian's spot would have been interesting.
  14. So these employment ads were posted by WWE somewhere: Here’s the official listing for the orchestra: Orchestra musicians with own instruments Principal Male or Female / 18 to 70 / All Ethnicities Looking for an orchestra of 14 musicians, all with own instruments – ideally a full orchestra who play together regularly. They will be “fake” playing in the promo, music will be dubbed in. All will be wearing the face paint that Sting is known for. Must be OK with heavy face makeup. Any leads on full orchestras who would love to make some money, would be awesome!! Open to all ages (over 18) and for the most part, people will be unrecognizable. Here’s the official listing for the Sting body double, which is also being sought after: Body double for STING Photo Double Male / 38 to 50 / Caucasian, Ethnically Ambiguous, Hispanic, Mixed, Multi-Ethnic 6’2, 250lb of pure muscle. Prefer a guy with wrestling experience, very fit. HEAVILY muscular. Slightly longer dark hair. Will have a full face of make up on. paying a higher rate as we need a GREAT double for this.
  15. They'd superkick the shit out of it like it were the bonus round in Street Fighter.
  16. "Serving Summons On Samoans & Tongans" lasted about six episodes. The episode on advising process servers not to try headbutting them had merit, then there was the one about whether you can serve them if they're receiving it barefoot, which was really average and it was all downhill from there.
  17. I used to ride shotgun for my uncle when he did it. 99% would just be telling you to fuck off or just be resigned about it/least of their concerns. Then you'd get the one Tongan or Samoan guy who would try to eat your car..
  18. HE FUCKED YOUR MOM GOOD THOUGH. TONGAN SNATCH GRIPS FOR EVERYONE.
  19. Answered my own question. Punk MITB cash in.
  20. Has there been a "Holy shit!" title change since Joe/Aries?
  21. How was Harley Race written out of TV in 1994 WCW? He just disappears seemingly? Or Meng joining the DoD?
  22. I always thought Jericho's first one was a rip off of the Ramones' "Something To Believe In"
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