John E. Dynamite

I want to believe that all this has something to do with Dusty Rhodes White-Soul-Brother Fatticus Finch (before the sequel) Interventionalist Ghost Karma. I promise I'll stop perpetuating the trope of nice white people having to save black people from mean white people tomorrow.

I am a real American / son-in-laws white, no Africans I have thought of Hulk Hogan as a big lame goober since I was in kindergarten. I never got to believe that wrestling was real as a child solely because of Hogan using a doofy leg drop as a finisher. I hate racism, I hate the conditions in the world that cause it to exist and I hate the consequences of those conditions. But I am very satisfied knowing that even during my childhood, I had that bald asshole figured out.

At this point I'll take 2007 "Togi Makabe, Indy Scum Murderer" back - at least ship him to NOAH and break the trend.

Thought the main event of Dominion was a special one - the Bullet Club stuff in the beginning was seamless and interesting, and most of their interference is anything but. I am also of the opinion that AJ made Okada look like a zillion bucks and really busted his ass to put him even more over. The finishing run was almost subversive - it wasn't exactly the Tanahashi/Suzuki "no nearfalls" routine, but it evoked it in the sense that once the finishing sequence started there was no back-and-forth nearfalls. The psychology of Okada's hunt for the Tombstone is consistently one of the best big-match sequences out there - here, once that tension broke, Okada and AJ started working like they knew the next big move to land was going to be the end of it. There are not enough stars in the sky to give to this match~ Also can't believe I liked KUSHIDA/Omega so much, as I can't stand Kenny's shtick and am a born-and-bred SELL THE LEG, MAN! type. KUSHIDA makes his matches high-stakes, it's important. You know what Japanese junior heavyweight wrestling needs? Japanese junior heavyweights who don't fucking suck. I had some beers so I'm gonna rant. The post-Liger IWGP Juniof Heavyweight progression of Japanese-born champions is literally Tatsuhito Takaiwa -> Minoru Tanaka -> Masayuki Naruse-> Kendo Ka Shin-> Koji Kanemoto -> Tiger Mask IV -> Jado -> Ryusuke Taguchi -> Wataru Inoue -> Naomichi Marufuji -> Kota Ibushi -> KUSHIDA. Read that back from the top as many times as you need to. I know between 1999-2007 the IWGP title was shit, but even then. Damn. The Junior Heavyweight list is brutal. I'm saying this as a Koji Kanemoto supporter and a Marufuji apologist. Seven and a half of those guys abjectly suck as singles workers if you count HEAT. Keep raiding the indies, Shin Nihon, it worked with Okada.

Just now realizing that Joanna got her nails did for the fight. Or was that just Penne's blood?

This is just Joshi stereotyping.

I have no beef with Fujita/Suwama in front of a hundred people at Kouraken.

Nothing original? TNA found a way to rip off three-years-beforehand RoH way before NXT did.

Oh my god, where was this filmed? Was this filmed in the Northeast or Mid Atlantic? Shinskee's hair is clearly getting hit by the same humidity that mine has been decimated by. I can hear his nearly-silent prayer whispered on the wind - "Why can't I get more than an hour of decency after I blow dry?". Can somebody recommend the two of us some PRODUCT? We are DUMB MEN and we are CONFUSED.

My biggest issue with the I Quit wasn't the fact that the wrong guy went over or that the ol' SuperCena shtick keeps rolling on. It's more to do with how transparently obvious the finish was. Remove the weeks of Lana dissension spelling out the ending for you, watch it in a bubble and it almost makes it to the top tier in my book.

WWE doesn't have the best history. I'm not going to go crazy about it but I'd rather not see it. Add this to the fact that the New Day gimmick has always been uncomfortable for carrying on "they're black, so they're friends!" tag team logic and that they ran it in Baltimore. It's not condemnable or anything but it is a little bit dodgy. If Lana jabs a broken hunk of wood in Cena's eye instead of throwing in the towel it's MOTY. Oh well. A thousand blessings upon my hometown for being a great crowd.

Last night I dreamt of "The Bloody Hand Match", AJW Kong/Hotta 1/24/94. I hadn't seen it in at least five years, but I dreamt that I was attending a reception for a local film awards show (that IRL I failed to attend) and I was talking to my director/friend about the shared themes between modern feminist cinema and violent Joshi. Long story short, I watched the match again and it still stands as one of my favorites ever. One of the most unique and gruesome uses of body part psychology ever laid to tape. A cornerstone in the study of dramatic form in wrestling matches! This is some highbrow shit!

Cavernario is in Best of the Super Juniors? Cavernario is in Best of the Super Juniors!

The daughter of the guy who killed Rikidozan was a pro wrestler for a minute, does that count? If the sons of Hokuto/Power Warrior aren't awesome wrestlers, it won't be their parents fault. I'm having trouble thinking of any 2nd generation Japanese wrestlers period, men or women. I would be a terrible fanboy if I didn't mention Katsuyori Shibata. His father was a JPWA midcarder.

Not the first time he's written songs on the subject. There used to be a full Mountain Goats show on youtube where Josh dropped some of his usual A+ stage banter before playing this. He quoted an old Ox promo quite well.

Fantasy booking is a very necessary mental exercise. I always wanted V1 Matt Hardy to change his name to V8 Matt Vegetables. His theme song would remain unchanged except for the lyrics, which would begin instead with "I can eat a tomato / I like carrots and peas". He would be skinny and this would anger his brother, who would get really fat and change his name to Jeff Boy-Hardee.

How could an album about pro wrestling still surprise me? He namedrops Al Mardril. AOTY.

Uhh.

Special Attraction is Most Famous Wrestler and Most Famous Fighter. So it works fine.

I am incredibly Sports Entertained.

Hey speaking of which... ESPN: The Worldwide Leader In Shoddy, Sensationalized, Lowest Common Denominator Sports Reporting Same thing on the front page of CNN.

Perros del Mal had just started up when I was getting into lucha. Perrito was definitely a formative influence for me. This one hurts. This is a picture of Rey's dropkick moments before the accident. It looks like it landed squarely on Perrito's shoulder - nothing morbid about the image (spoilered, regardless). It must have been the way he hit the middle rope. There's nobody to blame this on. It had nothing to do with a medical condition preexisting injury, or highspot gone wrong. Just a one-in-a-billion freak occurrence...

There is absolutely no need to watch that video. It looks exactly like you think it would.

The Hardest Working Man In Wrestling vs. the opposite of that. Honma makes the viewer care more about who wins and loses than anyone. Isn't that the most powerful thing a wrestler can do?

This. This is why I like Ronda Rousey. Your job is to be locked in a cage and attempt to murder a person who is doing the same to you (until you are told not to). Respecting people, liking people, feigning any sort of politeness are not means to attaining those ends. We know that being a self-aware sociopath is a valid super-athlete archetype; can you imagine what Michael Jordan's legacy would have been if his job was to rip arms off shoulders instead of putting a ball through a basket? Yet we all know that he was at best an asshole and at worst evil. That's how it goes when you've got to be that much better than everyone else at that thing you do.