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assfax

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Everything posted by assfax

  1. Upon further reflection, Dark Mod went standalone a few months back so that has got to be my official game of the year.
  2. Metroid Prime 3. Things that are dumb: when you have to do one of those long, involved, Ghostbuster containment unit routines for a simple switch. Also don't like how unreliable the grapple-whip lock on was on that hectic part where you're trying to blow up an AA gun and all these asshole flying guys come in and tip the shit back. The z-targeting also loves to decouple from the goddamned badguy you're trying to keep in view. There also really needs to be a quicker way to switch to the scan visor. Holy shit that's getting tedious. Especially if you are investigating shit and then the big giant head pipes in with some bullshit that makes you wrench your thumb all the way down to hit the tiny button near your wrist. Other than that, fucking great. Does seem like I end up just rapid firing because the charge shot is only worth it if both you and the target aren't moving. First time an enemy gives you a phazon overload seems like a cheap game over when you didn't know what the hell was happening. AND there's no way that robotic guild navigator isn't going to be super goddamned evil and fuck you over.
  3. Punisher VS Robocop. Frank shoots Robocop in the mouth.
  4. Watched The Crossing Guard. At first I was kinda hating those early scenes with Nicholson and Huston. Just seemed like a really bad movie. The more fucked up he got the better. This was still the David Morse show. Watched China O'Brien a few weeks back. As soon as you see that skeezy Christopher Lloyd deputy you know the motherfucker is evil. Rothrock is kicking ass on the wildside in mom jeans. I wanna see her naked and have stinky sex along with the 70s show mom. Maybe I already said something but I also watched True Confessions and The Mission. Good shit.
  5. Alright, only thing I can knock Link Between Worlds on is that the last dungeon was short and just reused some bosses. Didn't feel very last level-ish. Really should've had sections for all the items. Also, boomerang was completely unused by me.
  6. Amazon finally let me buy a download code for Mario RPG on virtual console so I didn't have to deal with that old time bullshit points system that I could never figure out how to completely zero out. 3DS and Wii U eShop are still basically lame but at least I can just use the exact amount of money I need on the damn thing. WE PAID FOR THE DAMN SHIT
  7. That first level on Uprising is a long son of a bitch. I hated how it basically sprung a goddamned QTE on you twice. Play it in the Rising mode and get to the second level so you can cheese neverending robo-gators for tons of money so you can get all the useful upgrades.
  8. I've now seen two Peckinpah movies that I thought stank. Cross of Iron and Killer Elite. Cross of Iron really suffers because it's one of those movies with accents all over the place. It's also just kind of uninteresting and scatterbrained. Killer Elite is way lamer than a movie that has Duvall along with James Caan and Paulie fighting ninjas on a battleship ought to be. So far Don Siegel is ahead because I've only hated Black Windmill so far.
  9. Garbage game that built nothing upon all the previous games and mainly ripped off Arkham Asylum and Uncharted. You can play Tomb Raider 2 and get the same bad movie puked upon you. This is my main beef with most new games,. Assasssin's Creed 3 just felt like a Sci-Fi movie with a two hundred million budget. Even the best games now just seem like really bad movies with insane budgets. I will also say that any game that even reaches consideration for any of this horseshit is one of those games that is simply beatable. This means that you are deep in the game and realize that it is easier to beat the game than to stop playing. We have to consider these poor, poor reviewers who've shown themselves to be completely useless.
  10. Games I beat this year: Guacamelee (NEEDED A HARDER BOSS FOR GETTING ALL THE MASK PIECES) Bioschlock Infantile (GARBAGE) Dishonored (WEAK FINISH) New Tomb Raider (GARBAGE) DMC (GARBAGE) New Hitman (GARBAGE) Mario U (GODLY) NSMB 2 (DAMN NEAR GARBAGE) Mario 3D land (HOLY SHIT) Metroid Other M (CONTROLS SUCKED, NO REAL LAST BOSS) Games that actually came out this year I haven't beat yet but will win: Link Between Worlds (GAME IS A MOTHERFUCKER) Super Mario World 3D (IF I HADN'T PLAYED THE 3DS ONE THIS WOULD WIN)
  11. Howard Phillips said that the reason they said not to use rubbing alcohol on the back of the cartridges was so kids wouldn't set themselves on fire. Kids were always stupid.
  12. Okay I knew this new Zelda was going to let you use any item right from the start. I did not know that you can just rent all the items and unfurl. This game ain't fucking around. No bullshit wallet limit neither. Once you do the first dungeon to get the wall painting ability you can do whatever the fuck you really want. Energy meter makes it so you never are out of bombs or arrows. Fucking game just lets you get on with playing it. New Mario is good too but this Zelda is a fucking madman.
  13. It also let's you fast forward in battles.
  14. Get it cheap now. It's either going to spike in price or just become hard to find. Either way it won' be re-released.
  15. Imma use this as a platform to bitch about how the free shipping threshold leapt up ten dollars on the month I had a second prime trial. BOLL SHIT. I'll probably sign up legit in January tho'.
  16. Okay, I fully beat Super Metroid on the Wii U gamepad screen. At first I hated the d-pad because it seemed like it would always want to cancel out of a spin jump. I still think it's a little oversensitive on the transition from horizontal to diagonal. Contra is prob'ly a no go. On further reflection and testing of a real snes, it seems like the game is just made that way. God damn good. Obviously I ain't goin' to pay this much for pilotwings or vegas stakes but it is still the same fucking insanely good game.
  17. This fat guy at the end of Carlito's Way is fucking hilarious.
  18. Sin and Punishment 2 on Wii kicks all leagues of ass. It's like a glimpse into a world where Sega Saturn was the dominant console. That is all.
  19. Drank Double Black Label all day and watched Blow Out. Pretty good.
  20. El Kneeno This was in reference to that .gif of Cena getting a big busaiku knee to the face that I thought was a recent post when I clicked on this thread. Carry on.
  21. Dragon Age 2 was one of those games where after I beat it I just wondered how I could've better wasted my life. Didn't really think the story was a disappointment, it was equally as cliched as the first. Hated how equipment worked. Both for the main character and how you had almost no input on equipping the rest of the party. Ending was dumb, but at least there was a boss as opposed to Mass Effect 3. The last bosses sucked and were contrived but at least there were some fucking bosses. Nothing in 2 comes close to the High Dragon fight from Origins. When you fight the bigass dragon in 2 it is one of the most boring fights you'll ever endure. THIS is all nothing to say about the magically spawning enemies and insanely reused maps. Holy shit. Like, I can give any game a chance but if you just have doors blocked by stone and use the exact same cave you are a lazy motherfucker.
  22. If you want a goddamned deal, that Deus Ex Director's cut shit is 8 bucks on gamersgate and it just fucking came out. I ain't got no goddamned idea if it makes anything better, but it should still be the same basic game that was pretty motherfucking good two years ago.I'm slightly pissed that I didn't buy Ghostbusters the video game when it was 5 bucks the other day. On the other hand, I already beat the game on PC so it isn't like I'm actually missing anythings.Why is it that this Marble Mania game on Wii is so goddamned expensive as soon as I am aware that it exists and I want it?
  23. This challenge mode in NSMB U is god damned great. Biggest revelation is that if you bounce off an enemy then fly up, then bounce off another enemy, you can float as long as there are bad guys. Best shit is the ones where you have to avoid coins. Also into the final special world on 3D Land. Kinda getting sick of just constantly having chase stages with evil Mario. Really not looking forward to re-beating all stages as Luigi. At least I don't have to get the coins again.
  24. I ain't playing it yet but I totally bought Metroid Other M because it still gives 50 club nintendo points (and ten points on post play survey) and it was only 12 bucks. I will totally beat this game. Totally. I also got Prime 3 used and the club nintendo code was still good. Main thing is that I'm hooked on club nintendo even though there ain't shit worth getting on it.
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