Technico Support

LOL.....you romantic. The titles don't mean anything, they are just props. WWE is about the stories, and the smiles, and the Universe, and bad announcing to convey those stories to the fans the company despises. Yeah man I know. I haven't been paying attention to Raw but I heard on the Observer podcast that US champ Cena is defending that belt against World champ Rollins and beating him on every show. When booking gets to that level of stupidity, I understand that there's no way back and that this shit is not for me.

Have Owens beat Cena for the US belt, unify the secondary titles and the book the remaining title like it means something. I can dream.

I'll pass but, man, Cornette is just pathetic. He buries himself just doing what he does day in and day out. Here's a guy who was pretty big in the business for a while but now can't get work anywhere because his horrible personality burns every single bridge he ever sees, so he has to do a free podcast where he shoots on indy guys. It would be sad if it wasn't him. An old saying summarizes Cornette perfectly: "If you meet an asshole in the morning, you met an asshole in the morning. If you meet assholes all day, then you're the asshole."

I turned the game off with a hearty "FUCK THIS TEAM" 2 minutes to go after the Ravens threw 4 straight incomplete passes. And then they came back and won so clearly the key is for me to not watch these games. That Steelers rushing TD was bullshit. When the lapdog announcers point out a uncalled hold where the blocker straight up tackled the defensive player , you know it's blatant.

Exactly. What an unflattering shot of Bayley. She looks like Jay Leno.

They're doing that as a public services for viewers with insomnia. I have Insidious 3 and We Are Still Here tee'd up for the weekend. Any good?

Hey doc, what it mean when fire shoot out your dick?

I remember for about 2 weeks when Bob Holly's nickname was "The Big Shot" and the only thing to the gimmick was he hit dudes with really hard unprotected chairshots. Ah the good old days when we didn't understand CTE. Also the time Holly and Billy Gunn teamed for a few weeks and their finish was "the Gunn Holly Bomb." GHB for short. Charming.

Good times

"Come on, Dracula, get your fat ass on the scale."

The art of heel announcing has also seemingly been lost. Corey Graves tries but he sucks. Being a heel announcer doesn't mean burying the talent. It's more subtle than that and nobody today has the deft hand that, say, Heenan did.

41 amazing years, my friend

The longer we deal with today's awful announcing, the more I long for Vince's WHATTAMANEUVER style. The guy didn't know all the moves and always jumped the gun on 3 counts but he had passion and SOLD you that shit. Yes, he had to, as it was his company, but still.

Seeing that essay and reading 11 year old Bayley refer to it as WWE...it's amazing that there are people working for the company who weren't around or barely remember it being called WWF. Now I feel old as fuck.

When did playing in the rain, even hard rain, become a problem? This shit isn't going to be Superstorm Sandy-level bad. Christ. Nah, you're fine. The Ravens can't find their ass with two hands this season.

I also like watching Salvation to see Worthington struggle, and ultimately fail, to hide his accent.

Much like Scientology, there are secret upper echelons of DDP Yoga where the highest achievers are exposed to the belief system's true secrets. But instead of Xenu, DDP teaches Arthur, et al the secrets of keeping one's pimp hand strong.

Owens would job because GODDAMN PAL LOOK HOW VASCULAR COLE IS

I have no idea what this means but it's awesome. It reads like you had a stroke mid-post. (DDP probably would've carried the stupid angle with Elizabeth claiming assault on 1/4 better as well.) DDP definitely has more of a sexual predator or a "I'll slap a broad" vibe to him than Goldberg.

If you push just hard enough, new muscles just pop up! I remember when Angle was popped for steroids for like the 10th time and his agent came to his defense, speaking out about how clean Angle was. This is Angle's agent:

Baltimore is so bad they're even left out of GojiColin's analysis of 0-3 teams. At first I think, maybe they can beat the Steelers since Roethlisberger is out? But then I remember they lost to the Raiders. Fuuuuck.

"Michael Cole's Mons Pubis" was high on the list of things I absolutely did not need to see today. It is an excellent band name, though. Also, when your "trainer" looks like this: you probably had a little "help" reaching your fitness goals.

Oh shit yeah I forgot about that. The box in the middle of the ring for all matches. What the everloving fuck? Seriously I need to know what the dimensions of said box were to be. Was it going to be a huge box like the one wrestlers would pop out of from time to time, or a small one so Johnny Mundo could do douchey parkour shit off it? Maybe there was supposed to be a Campeon del Crossfit title where the guy who did the most box jumps wins the belt and has to defend it against other bros. Was there supposed to be something in the box? Was there a payoff or just a box in the middle of the ring for no damn good reason?

We should probably never take ourselves to seriously, me included, when discussing how creatively bankrupt the Hollywood remake/sequel machine is. Because every once in a while we get Fury Road and all is forgiven for about 5 minutes. I also liked all the Terminator sequels.

Pretty sure Dave's wife has been tuning him out since sometime in the mid 90s.