Dexter: The Final Season

[Craig H]

I hope the last shot of this series is Deb in Dex's kill room with Dex plunging a knife into Deb.

[Fat Spanish Waiter]

I hope the last shot of this series is Deb in Dex's kill room with Dex plunging a knife into Deb.

My hope is that it ends with Dexter waking up in prison and Doakes is looking over him and every character over the last few years has been a figment of his imagination during the coma he suffered when Doakes beat the shit out of him and arrested him six years ago.

[piranesi]

So, Becky Sproles, huh?

[Petey]

My hope is that it ends with Dexter waking up in prison and Doakes is looking over him and every character over the last few years has been a figment of his imagination during the coma he suffered when Doakes beat the shit out of him and arrested him six years ago.

Only if Doakes says, "SURPRISE MOTHAFUCKA" when Dexter wakes up.

[Fat Spanish Waiter]

Yes

[Randy]

So, Becky Sproles, huh?

That was really strange.  Why waste our time with a Masuka side story when the entire show should be about Dexter/Deb/Vogel?

[piranesi]

That was really strange.  Why waste our time with a Masuka side story when the entire show should be about Dexter/Deb/Vogel?

 

 

Dont' forget Hannah.  It's going to get crowded.

[Jrag]

That was really strange.  Why waste our time with a Masuka side story when the entire show should be about Dexter/Deb/Vogel?

 

Because Masuka is the only likable character on the show.

[ultimoDANK]

The Masuka thing was just dumb. Who cares. Also they keep teasing showing Bautista's sister naked, c'mon now Showtime. Oh and that ending suuuuucked.

[Fat Spanish Waiter]

HELLO DEXTER... REMEMBER ME?

 

WHO WRITES THIS SHIT WHERE IS DOAKES FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

[Craig H]

I'm convinced that this broad who is into Dexter is undercover working for the FBI. Beyond that, I mean, what the fuck?! The writers are as bad as the WWE's. So let's see...Harry didn't want Dexter to be a monster and because of Dr. Vogel manipulating Harry and Dexter, Harry kills himself. Dexter understands this. Debra understands this. And they both also understand that Dexter didn't have to become a monster. The Dark Passenger was something he created and the Code was Vogel's fucked up creation. Of the 3 paths Dexter can take with Hamilton (kill him, free him and teach him how to reign in his own Dark Passenger, or free him to teach him that he can be normal and not be manipulated into being a monster), he chooses to teach Hamilton how to be a killer? So dumb...

And that doesn't even touch on the numerous other stupid things about this episode. Quinn must have the worst case of amnesia or he's really dumb. If he wants to be Sgt., don't go after Hamilton, go after Dexter, you dumbshit. You practically know he's a killer.

Then there's Vogel, who fully understands how she manipulated Dexter, and everyone else knows this, and yet no one regards her as the real bad guy/gal. There was such an obvious direction to go in where Dexter kills Vogel to exorcise his demons and to finally let go of his Dark Passenger. He can pay a visit to Harry's tombstone, fuck, they can flash forward like they did with Six Feet Under and Dexter can tell Harrison the truth about his biggest lie, maybe at a time Harrison is having a crisis of his own to steer him in the right direction. The writers could even have the show end with Dexter finally letting go, teasing he's going to kill someone, and instead leads Miami Metro to the culprit.

This doesn't even touch on one of the dumbest lines ever in the history of this show when Deb is talking with Dexter and is going off on him about Vogel, at one point saying, "and where did she get that accent?!" Really? Gee, I don't know, she probably got from her native country, you fucking idiot.

And the end of the episode...the broad who was in prison is now suddenly out and not one Goddamn person was aware of her getting free? Someone as meticulous as Dexter isn't going to keep tabs on the other living person who knows his secret? FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU, indeed.

[piranesi]

I'm convinced that this broad who is into Dexter is undercover working for the FBI. Beyond that, I mean, what the fuck?! The writers are as bad as the WWE's. So let's see...Harry didn't want Dexter to be a monster and because of Dr. Vogel manipulating Harry and Dexter, Harry kills himself. Dexter understands this. Debra understands this. And they both also understand that Dexter didn't have to become a monster. The Dark Passenger was something he created and the Code was Vogel's fucked up creation. Of the 3 paths Dexter can take with Hamilton (kill him, free him and teach him how to reign in his own Dark Passenger, or free him to teach him that he can be normal and not be manipulated into being a monster), he chooses to teach Hamilton how to be a killer? So dumb... 

 

I didn't see tonight's episode, but as to this first point, I think that last week Dexter regressed quite a bit.  The way things worked out with Deb helping him, and them together helping Vogel caused him to sort of relapse into the comfort of the way things were.  He seemed so happy to be a monster if that meant he got to follow his impulses and now have his sister totally on board with him.

 

It was like a binge eater stumbling into a big fluffly bag of white powdered mini donuts (God, I love those things).  All that work and figuring things out and DDP yoga is out the fucking window because you're home again.  So, in a way this new kid pops up at the worst possible time.  A week earlier and he might not have been so eager to re-embrace the idea of the domesticated monster, and maybe a few weeks from now he won't be again.

 

But just right now, he's swimming in mini-donuts and it feels so perfect and loverly and mommy and sister and everyone is right where he always wanted them to be.  From that standpoint i think it works.

[Fat Spanish Waiter]

DOAKES

[Craig H]

Don't you fucking justify this shitty writing, piranesi. The rest of us need to hate this show with every fiber in our being and tune in each week because we're all goddamn lemmings. It's hard to do that with someone making sense of things.

[MonteCarl]

Didn't Hannah escape from prison on the last episode of Season 7? Pretty sure that happened and everybody knew that she was out

[Craig H]

Didn't Hannah escape from prison on the last episode of Season 7? Pretty sure that happened and everybody knew that she was out

 

I don't think so and I don't give a crap enough to look it up. If she had escaped, Dexter would have tracked her down and killed her.

 

Now that I say that, given the craptacular writing, I'm sure she did escape and everyone threw up their arms and decided to not give two shits.

[MonteCarl]

From the Dexter Wiki on Hannah:

"At her trial, Hannah is sentenced to imprisonment with no right to bail. In a staged encounter, Arlene slips Hannah a drug during an embrace, to which Hannah swallows on her way out of the courthouse. In the prisoner transport van, Hannah overdoses and is sent into a seizure. Going accordingly to her plan, she is brought to the hospital where she manages to escape, after waking up, when her nurses are gone. When she is free, she visits Dexter's apartment and places a potted black orchid outside his door as an ominous goodbye. She is seen walking away with a determined look upon her face. She returns in Season 8"

[Fat Spanish Waiter]

Six months later no-one was really that bothered.

[Craig H]

From the Dexter Wiki on Hannah:

"At her trial, Hannah is sentenced to imprisonment with no right to bail. In a staged encounter, Arlene slips Hannah a drug during an embrace, to which Hannah swallows on her way out of the courthouse. In the prisoner transport van, Hannah overdoses and is sent into a seizure. Going accordingly to her plan, she is brought to the hospital where she manages to escape, after waking up, when her nurses are gone. When she is free, she visits Dexter's apartment and places a potted black orchid outside his door as an ominous goodbye. She is seen walking away with a determined look upon her face. She returns in Season 8"

 

I wish I didn't read that. Now I'm even more aggravated. The writing in the last few seasons hasn't bothered me that much. I could complain about how formulaic the show was and how the writing was lazy, but I still thought it was better than a lot of other shows, so long as the last season would wrap things up well. This season has been a complete fuckshitstorm of the worst of this show.

 

Debra has PTSD, IMMEDIATELY HAS FREQUENT AND RISKY SEX WITH CRIMINALS. Do these writers even understand what PTSD is?

 

Dex finds out he was manipulated and turned into a monster, DECIDES TO DO THE SAME TO ANOTHER PERSON.

 

Quinn is best buds with Dexter, LATER HATES DEX BECAUSE DEX SEES HIM POCKETING CASH.

 

Quinn has evidence of Dexter being a killer, FALLS IN LOVE WITH A STRIPPER, DON'T FALL IN LOVE WITH STRIPPERS.

 

Quinn is buds with Dexter again, SHOWS EARLY SIGNS OF ALZHEIMER'S.

 

Angel is all, "be a Sgt., bro, take the exam!" to Quinn and later can't make a decision and hires someone else showing he is the worst fucking friend in the world.

 

And probably within the last couple episodes, Dexter is actually watching his kid instead of dumping him on Angel's sister all the time. No wonder your kid lies to you. You're never even around to take care of him because you're off killing someone. Oh, and you nearly developed a serious relationship with another serial killer who poisons her victims. Jesus, what happens when Harrison throws a big temper tantrum or never cleans his room or says shit like, "You're not my MOM"? She probably puts some flower poison in his Gogurt or Capri Sun, that's what.

 

That's it. The only suitable end to this show is Doakes showing up after faking his death, going deep undercover with the FBI.

[Fat Spanish Waiter]

He spent the last six years hunting down Haitian Death Squads before returning.

[ultimoDANK]

Oh god more BankholdUp theories. Hannah working with the FEDs in a new gem.

The problem with this show is everyone not named Dexter. It's been that way for years. I'm just on board to see how they wrap it up. Something tells me it'll be left somewhat open ended.

[Petey]

I'm trying to think of one other character on the show I actively like and it's difficult. I like Vince Masuka but I almost feel like that doesn't count. I used to like Angel but have soured on him since they introduced his sister into the show.

[Craig H]

I'm convinced that this broad who is into Dexter is undercover working for the FBI. 

 

 

Oh god more BankholdUp theories. Hannah working with the FEDs in a new gem.

 

How am I talking about Hannah? I'm talking about that chick that Angel's sister was trying to hook Dexter up with and I wasn't being remotely serious. On that note, how could you possibly mistake any of that goofy bullshit riffing as me being serious about this show?

[piranesi]

Finally saw this weeks ep.  I'm okay with the mentor thing as a dramatic device and all.  The only thing that annoys me is how rote it feels now.  Dexter gave into that so fast and easy, it's like old habit because it is an old habit for this show, setting someone up for a kill or as a potential villain and then instead deciding to take them into his confidence.  He's done this now with every conceivable familial relationship and this just finishes the predictable tableau:girlfriend: Lilahbrother: Rudybest friend: Miguel Pradowife: Hannahlittle sister: Lumenstep-father: Trinitymother: Vogelnow son: ZachIt would have been better to have him remember that kid from way back in season 1 that he was going to bond with and who instead killed himself in prison.  That might have been a good trigger for him to approach this differently.  But that would require anything that ever happened mattering to anything that's happening now.  Way too much work to watch the previous seasons of the show you are writing.  Instead they gave us almost the identical scene we've had with so many others as if it was something new.The Hannah thing is absurd.  Craig's WWE comparison is apt.  She was such a muppet of a character to begin with, the idea that we are all craving the resumption of her story is ridiculous.  You could almost hear the announcers:

 

"Is that...IS THAT???"

"WE ALL KNOW THAT MUSIC..>THAT'S HANNUH!!!!!"

 

I really really really really really wanted Charlotte Rampling to be a psychopaths-Magneto who wanted to finally fulfill Rudy's vision and build a stable of superior killers as the main story, but there's no way they have time for that now.I did actually kind of like the thing with the neighbor.  I mean, it was a surprisingly realistic sort of failure for Dexter.  Getting blown off after an awkward first date is what logically should happen to him.  I mean once you get past the fact that he's a good looking dude, what's there but a weird awkward out-of-touch weirdo?I hate HATE that thing with Vince and his daughter.  It's such standard fakey writing.  The ONE THING you need to not say to a woman, and somehow you stumble into it, or she magnificently divines it and you just spill it all.  A guy like Vince would know how to lie better than that.  People think through things like that before doing them.  They think about how to do it without giving away the thing they don't want the other person to know.  That's why we have cars.  To rehearse shit like that on the way to a party. It's so fucking easy:

 

"Why are you giving me this money?"

"Well, you just moved out here and you're on your own and do you even have a car?  I don't even know...and what about school?"

 

Boom...done...because it's a really easy thing to do to not accidentally tell someone you did a full background check on them.  It takes an astounding effort to let that slip out.

 

Manufactured drama.

[ultimoDANK]

Last I remember that chick wasn't into Dexter.

I hope this Bautista's Place spin off actually happens because that sounds like an epic disaster.