AxB

The playing field is level already. High level players (except RP Glitchers, who should be banned for being stupid) earned the right to have superior weaponry and armour by playing the game more and better. But if you insist on everyone having the same gun, Locked Only levels the playing field. Locked + Pickups steals Bullets and Rockets we paid for, and favours whoever memorised the map. Which, on user created Deathmatches, means the creator and his friends. Has anyone noticed that you can be shot through cover now? I was hiding behind the edge of a construction barrier, killed someone but took some hits and had low health, so I ran along behind it to recover my green bar, was covered up from head to toe behind it... and was shot and killed by bullets coming through it.

I was trying to grind Deathmatches for money on Monday, to earn a Roosevelt (I've got a Tornado as my Sports Classic. It's not very good). Some low level arsehead put it on Forced + Pickups on Horseback Hell, and that cost me 9000+ rounds of Advanced Rifle & Heavy Sniper Ammo, and it's a terrible map - plus it was glitchy as hell. I'm on a roof shooting him with an Adv. Rifle, he (behind low cover I am shooting over the top of) has time to change to a Grenade Launcher, stand up, shoot a Grenade near me, and run away as I blow up, without dying. So I quit, and back in Freemode somehow my Advanced Rifle has disappeared as well, so I have to buy the damn gun back as well. Trying to get money, wound up $60,000 down on where I started. Now Tuesday, by comparison, I jumped into Grit (Pistols only) as a 4 vs 4. Half the guys quit or were kicked or something, so it was 2 vs 2. And then it becomes apparent that one guy on each team is AFC, so it's basically me (Level 150+, triple figures Deathmatch wins) vs another guy (level 21, two Deathmatch wins) plus a couple of tackling dummies. I kill him twice, his dummy oncvve and he quits. So now I have 18 minutes to find out where the guy is spawning and pad my stats. Went 22-0... see how when people die in Deathmatches, they drop money? It's $5, multiplied by the number of times they've died. So I picked up over $1000 from him in that one. Haven't seen Gonzalez playing GTA Online since November-ish. It's one of my greatest disappointments in the game, that here's a situation where we PS3 types could potentially have had Gonzalez and FSW in the same room at the same time, with the ability to both converse and murder one another, and we'd get to watch... and it never happened.

Yeah, Average is totally kicking our asses. Turns out only one of us is Mike Sanders.

You know you've got much better partners just a Crew invite away, right? My K/D ratio averaged out at 5/1 on Deathmat6ches the other two nights. That new car, it's not great, but you can hang on the side instead of climbing in the back, and use your two-handed guns (like the Combat MG). Nikolai bought one, me a Cris were riding with him for a bit. He also had this Dump Truck type thing where you could crouch in the back and not fall out, even when it was speeding. On the Driver's screen it looks like they're doing the skateboard glitch, but they aren't. The new Tommy Gun type gun, it's not so good. Does a lot of damage, but it has shit for range, so it's basically a noisy Assault Shotgun. Also the tints look rubbish on it.

Havoc's second character is DVDR, but he uses it rarely, so he's only level 12. He usually plays his high-level guy, but that's his own crew (which appears to have shrunk down to only having one active person in it). The best way of trolling someone in a Buzzard - stand on top of their Entity and shoot their Helicopter with a Minigun. They can't shoot back without blowing up their own car. Did the one FIB Building Deathmatch* with a bunch of guys, tried to rematch and everyone glitched out or quit, so it was just me vs Cristobal one on one. He had the honour of being my 600th Assault Shotgun kill (he was also the 400th). Changed from my faux-Elektra Red outfit to an all-blue one in tribute to having 3 LSPD Tint guns now. Can't stand that Lodge Deathmatch. It seems like one of those Spawn-Kill-Die-Repeat ones designed to grind for Gun tints, only who would want to tint an Assault Rifle? It's the weakest Weapon in it's class! My Rifle Tint Deathmatch is better (it's actually pretty tactical if you do it on owned + pickups. No fence = distance Sniping). Some idiot made a version of Bridge of Death, only two people can spawn on top of the Bridge Towers. So basically two people are next to unassailable, and everyone else is parked in a killing zone with no useful cover, and traffic is on so you can't assume random people running around are enemies, they could be NPCs fleeing in terror. I talked a lot of shit after that one was over, being as the creator was in the room with us. Told him it was a disgrace and he should be embarrassed to have made it, if you think that's a good deathmatch I wouldn't trust you to wipe your own arse proerly... He voted replay, everyone else voted for a proper Deathmatch, and he quit like a Bitch. * Not the one I was doing with Neil last month. This one is across most of the burned floors.

So, I got a bit bored of always wearing black, so I went with an all-red outfit to try and look like Elektra (Daredevil's girlfriend, not Carman Elektra. Or that woman from ECW that everyone's forgotten about). Look nothing like her. BUT THEN... Paradise Alley (Team Deathmatch): WIN, 5 Kills, 0 Deaths (it was first team to 30, there were 16 people in there) Vespucci Shoreline (Team Deathmatch): WIN, 26 Kills, 5 Deaths Wrath (Team Deathmatch): WIN, 28 Kills, 5 Deaths So maybe dressing all in Red makes you more of a killer or something - to have a 5.0+ K/D ratio in three straight matches is unprecedented for me. Somewhere in there I unlocked the Army Tint for the AP Pistol, so I now have the full set of Gun Tints: Black: Pistol ARMY: AP Pistol Green: Heavy Sniper Orange: Assault Shotgun LSPD: Advanced Rifle, Combat MG Pink: Grenade Launcher, RPG Gold: Minigun Platinum: Sawn-Off Shotgun Although the Assault Shotgun will soon be Blue too. I've got to be over 550 kills with it by now... I might be close to the 100 Grenade Launcher kills too. There's nothing more fun than doing a Team Deathmatch, and getting consecutive kills on the entire other team by yourself. Happened a couple of times last night. Cristobal was playing Skyrim last night. He knew I'd be asking him how many Darren Bent's there were*. * There's only one Darren Bent.

I got a Stealth Kill in a Deathmatch once. He was looking for my teammates to the left, I was in Stealth mode to the right. Switch to knife, slit throat, laugh out loud. The only other times I've got melee kills in Deathmatches are when you're both hiding around the same corner, and one gets the butt of the gum across the jaw. Although it seems pretty random as to who gets the kill and who doesn't. I figure that most of the fistfight Deathmatches are for people who want 100% Strength and suck at Golf and Tennis. But it's a measure of your connection speed, not your Deathmatch skill. Most of the Rockstar verified User CC Deathmatches have been shite (the new one at the Sandy Shores Hangar is OK). But they need to get Cops and Robbers and one of the FIB Building ones verified, because they're much better than bloody Ryan's Privates and Seal Team Suxxxxx. Bridge of Death is fun as a Team Deathmatch but basically unplayable as a single (spawn, step back, wait for people who die to re-spawn in front of you, shoot them in the back when they stop flashing).

Michael Madsen in Sin City.

I have this theory about why the Lucha masks were in the Offline version but disappeared from online. I think the follow up to the Beach Bum download pack is going to be the Pro-Wrestling pack. Masks, Wrestling boots, kneepads, tights and singlets, steel chair as a melee weapon, new Minutemen missions rounding up escaped Luchadors.

It was nice of the Scottish crowd to chant USA for Gunner though. Nice that they teased Storm turning heel and then didn't do it. When he said he was Sorry, and then didn't say For Your Damn Luck, that was good.

We kill each other when we run out of victims. The last few times we've done Deathmatches that were Havoc, Cris, me and a random, the final scores go something like this: Havoc: 5 Kills 4 Deaths ExcallQ: 6 Kills 4 Deaths AxBlood: 5 Kills 3 Deaths Other Person: 0 Kills 5 Deaths And that's with the other person quitting halfway through. Last night, after we finished racing and stuff, we went into free mode and emptied the room in under ten minutes. Literally one second later Cris killed Havoc and me. So we tried out my new Deathmatch and did some of the new races (Laguna Seca sucks. Monaco is quite bad. Casal Dos Ferros is alright but the checkpoints are too widely spaced), dropped back into Freemode and emptied the room in fifteen minutes. I shot first, killed both of them, got Cris' Sandking impounded and then went on Passive and they got really pissed off for some reason. I drove them back to the City in my Barracks (the big troop carrier thing) while they danced in the back. Not even joking. Somehow they had Four Stars as passengers, but I only had two for driving the thing.

Says Mr "Proud to know all the words to Randy Orton's entrance music". Cristobal and my non-crew friend Wardy19852012, they're so similar. They both want to be alpha male psycopath. But there CAN ONLY BE ONE! From looking at this thread, the XBox crew is mostly cool dudes, with just one or two crazed killers. The PS3 crew on the other hand, we're just a mass murder cult.

I never understood why the "You can't Wrestle" chant is exclusive to John Cena. I mean, before he comes out, people are going to have sat through a Miz match, maybe a Ryder match, probably a Divas match as well... and then Cena comes out and he is the one who can't Wrestle.

So if the XBox crew is the A-Team, J.T. is Face? Who's everyone else? If the PS3 crew is the A-Team, Havoc is BA because he's the black guy. Cristobal is Murdoch because he flies planes and kills people. I'm Face because I'm the nice one (I don't start fighting until it counts as retaliation, or defending my crew. If Cris kills someone five times unprovoked, and they then shoot one bullet at him, then I feel morally entitled to start retaliating) . And either Reggie or Neil is Hannibal, except usually neither of them is about. We are undisciplined due to our lack of leadership. Two guys came after us in Tanks. I jacked one and used it to destroy the other. They really didn't like it.

I've had Armoured Cars that had no money in them before (they dropped off the Radar as I approached, but I could still see them). I also delivered a High Priority Vehicle once and got no money for it. Those two new races (Stars in Their Eyes 2 and the one me and Cristobal did last night that I've forgotten the name of) are both horrible. Who is voting for these things? I mean, that's the first time in GTA5 online I've been in a race and gotten so pissed off with the game I started driving the course backwards and crashing into people for no good reason (I did cross the river on Down the Drain once to nudge the guy in first back, but that's different).

It did seem that they were trying to push really hard on the idea that the company sucks, and that Country Singers and Nascar drivers are just as tough as the Wrestlers are. Completely the opposite of telling people that this company is great and these Wrestlers are the toughest people in the World.

The jealousy in your voice gave you away. Havoc created a second character so he could have a DVDR guy as well as his HAVC guy. They are identical twins, except one has jobber stats and bugger all unlocks. I thought the whole point of a second character was to see what the other set of clothes and haircuts are like.

I bring this up now because over the New Year, Challenge did this thing called Frst Ever Eps, where they showed the first ever episodes of things like Bullseye and Pat Sharp's Funhouse and that, and as part of that, they showed the first TNA weekly PPV ever (which I'd not seen before). And it was... interesting. They had the opening segment with Ed Ferrera with Dreadlocks being an old perv and Don West being all enthusiastic, and then they honoured some old Wrestlers by having them come to the ring, before Jeff Jarrett interrupted to complain that deciding a World Title in a Battle Rawl sucked but he was going to win. Ken Shmarock interrupted to agree that it sucked, but said he was going to win. Scott Hall interrupted to agree that it sucked, but... so, welcome to TNA, the company that everyone thinks sucks. Then AJ Styles, Low Ki and Jerry Lynn came out to have the first ever TNA match. They lost clean to the Flying Elvises. AJ got pinned. But the losers'd be back next week in a round robin for the X title, for some reason. The Johnsons wrestled against Psicosis and James Storm (because there's a natural Tag Team). The heels won that won too. The Dupps beat York & Matthews too. There was loads of promos and backstage shit going on, but it was all about Double J so never mind. Some jingoistic County music thing happened, but it was all Yay America nad thusly right over me head. K-Kwik said NASCAR drivers aren't his type of athletes, because his type of athletes pass for touchdowns and run for touchdowns, and do legdrops and armdrops. Then they had the Battle Royal, which was a bit of a "Who's this guy?" mixed with the "Oh, what happened to that guy?". Buff Bagwell was in it, and Del Rios appeared as Nise Scott Steiner, Apollo from Puerto Rico was there, and Justice from NWA Wildside (an unscarred, un-inked unmasked Abyss) did a Black Hole Slam that had no name. Lodi was injured so Lenny came out with Bruce, and I wondered if they were suggesting that Lenny Bruce was gay, and if so, why thwy thought that mattered. Steve Corino was there but didn't do much. Jim Mitchell had a couple of guys who I don't know where they went, but one was pretty good. Brian Lawler was extremely annoying. And then Shamrock won. And then Jeff Jarrett came out to complain about it and set up a match with Scott Hall next week. Which I'll never ever see. All in all, if I'd paid for that, I wouldn't want to watch it ever again. And I quite like TNA.

We've got more than two people with World Record times in races. In fact, I've had at least two, both of which were witnessed by crewmates (Evil Neil and Cristobal were impressed with my second. Gonzalez was pissed off and unbelieving about my first*). I'm fairly sure Havoc and Cristobal have World Records as well. It's actually very easy to get them now there's a Race Creator Tattoo wise, I've got the Ride or Die for the GTA Race win + 3 Kills, the Grim Reaper Shotgun for Gang Attacks, the 25 Bounties, the 1000 kills (I think) - I've unlocked it anyway. I haven't got the Burning Heart for 50 Deathmatch wins, but I should because I've won 80+ of them. I think Team Deathmatches don't count though. I joined an LTS by mistake, and it was me and a level 13 vs one guy who was level 7. Two shots fired (from my Assault Shotgun - I'm going for the Tints on that as well the Heavy Sniper now) in the whole match and it was over. Felt so guilty that I carried them through Boneyard to make up for it. Doing Survivals with low level people is my new Good Karma move. I'm hoping that people will reciprocate with my second character (who's up to like 21 or 22 now anyway). On Processed, I liked to go up the stairs and onto the roof, and take cover behind the chimney for the first three waves. You can literally get all the kills from up there if you've got a decent gun. I go into the big Hangar across the way in time for Wave 4 though. You can solo the whole thing from in there, if you get into the trailer ramp in the middle. Memo to people who create Deathmatches: Prison Thugz Fight exists. You don't need to invent an Unarmed Death Match, we've got one. Stop making new ones**. Some German fella for some reason recreated Seal Team Six almost exactly, and ended up doing it against me, one on one. 16-0 to me. Tanks are better than Jets I mean, it's never fun doing a Deathmatch with Tanks in, and even less fun doing a Tank Deathmatch (unless you're going for the Stolen Kills award), but it's tolerable if you win the footrace to the artillery. * I actually got a World Record on the Tutorial Race as well, but I think that was when the records were getting wiped every few hours. ** I did Prison Thugz Fight with a bnuch of glitching bastards - you'd hit them once and miss (ie you'd see your fist pass through their face, but they'd no-sell it and take no damage), they'd punch you once, you'd flinch five times and die. I was shit talking all of them saying they were cheating bastards and let's have real Deathmatch, see how tough you are then. But they all voted for Freemode. We spawned in the same session, six of us standing in a circle. Two seconds later, it's me with Five corpses. One of then wanted a One on One, which I won 5-2 (would have been less but someone else was fighting me as well, and they were off my radar because of the one on one). He then wanted a rematch, after the other guys ran. 5-0. If you can't Snipe, don't fight at Sniper Range.

Once upon a time, a long time ago, if you were watching a Wrestling match and Mike Tenay was on commentary, you knew it was going to be a really good match. Not now though.

So I'm the only one who'd look forward to seeing Rey working big man style vs Spud, then?

I saw this one guy doing a trailer breakdown on youtube and he was all "I'm not going to give out any spoilers, don't worry", and then he did the whole "This shot is from the (event censored), play close attention to the (item censored) because that will be important later... here we see (character censored) reacting to the events of the (event censored)..." basically giving anyone with a brain enough 2+2s to let them figure out the 4 that is the season's plot. So, if you're an Unsullied, don't look at Trailer breakdowns. That one bit is probably from a Dream Sequence or Flashback though. Even GOT doesn't do Dream Sequences or Flashbacks.

Last night, me and Cristobal met someone who's avatar looked like R-Truth. Every time he died, we whatted him. It was glorious. FSW, I hope your crew is called Derek and the Dominoes, because that's what they'll be falling down like.

Well, the crew that plays together...

Cristobal can nudge it out (private joke).