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FluffSnackwell

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Everything posted by FluffSnackwell

  1. I'm one of the few odd ducks that prefers Inferno to Suspiria.
  2. Waxwork smokes 'em both. I mean it is more or less the R-rated version of Monster Squad. Furthermore it smokes the 2012 version of Waxwork AKA Cabin In The Woods because it came before everything became so smug and self-aware. The only major flaw with Waxwork is subpar monster designs. A fun game to play is picking random brat packers and thinking how much Lost Boys would've actually sucked and descended into full-on camp if they would've played David instead of Kiefer Sutherland. For starters: Judd Nelson. Seriously, the rest of those hair metal GLAM vampires hold up terribly if their leader wasn't such a total badass. I can't really give Lost Boys a totally fair shake because every recent time I've caught it's been the neutered version on VH1 Classic. But to me Monster Squad holds up fine against Lost Boys. I'm underwhelmed by the vamps swoop down attack; especially set to godawful crap like "Walk This Way." I definitely think Monster Squad's finale holds up against Lost Boys. My name is Horace!>Death by stereo! Well, not the very last death or next to last vamp death in Lost Boys but for the actual lead-up battles Monster Squad works fine. I liked the way Rudy did his thang slaying sacrificial brides and the wolfman better than the Frogg Brothers taking out lame ass GLAM vampires. Plus how in the fuck are you gonna top the wolfman getting blown to bits then spontaneously reassimilating? You can't so don't even try. Finally, I think the Hatchet franchise basically is Groundhog Day fully realized.
  3. Now this much I wholeheartedly agree and am on board with. I did love The Devil's Rejects although from all the hype what I was expecting was a movie where the Rejects actually escaped the clutches of their pursuers several times whereas what we actually got was them fleeing Johnny Law one time at the beginning and then being total pushovers when the true badasses tracked them down right near the end. Somehow I was expecting just a little bit more of a western revenge than a celebration of anti-hero scum but it doesn't matter because the final product was just fine with Rejectss. House of 1,000 Corpses is something I don't consider anything more than fun background noise. I was fine with him reimagineering Mikey Myers as a white trash serial killer but felt that the actual showdown between Mikey and Laurie was the antithesis of the original; instead of being tense and masterfully crafted it was tedious and dragged on forever and forever, creepy lighting is replaced by some jagoff brute literally busting through walls. Finally, when looking at HO1C and Rejects as a whole, Dr. Satan and the big Bane-looking guy with flamethrower was just kind of tacked on to the white trash psychobilly histrionics of the rest of the family. Which gets me to the point that for a guy who loves monsters and weirdness I don't think Zombie has made a movie that went full-on Fulci with the monsters and ridiculous gore during his stint in the genre. Getting back to Lords for the sake of comparison I'll say nothing worked as well in it as the reveal of Mother in The House Of The Devil. While the effect didn't last, it was creepy enough that upon first seeing it, the impact was the same as laying eyes upon Zelda from Pet Sematary or the first time I randomly stumbled across Brian Peppers at 3 in the morning. In a word truly freaky. Pork Satan just doesn't hold up those reveals or creature effects. And to West's credit the original first reveal of mother was supposed to be a much less impressive peak of her hunched over upstairs which would've took so much from holding off on the ultimate reveal. Of course, I also think West likes the smell of his own farts a little too much although I guess he at least tried raunchy and raucous with the Cabin Fever sequel.
  4. I thought The Lords Of Salem crossed the line from self indulgence into full blown self flagellation. This story didn't need 100 minutes to be told and I didn't feel all the random visuals thrown at the viewer ever amounted to very much. I didn't even think the visuals presented in the ending worked as even a bad Zombie music video. And I like most of Zombie's music videos..... Now if the ending had blown me away I could somewhat forgive the bloated run time because it would've actually all led to something. Certain visuals in the ending seemed more juvenile or crass than unnerving....you know exactly what I'm referring to. But yep overall too much wannabe Artsy Fartistry (for the sake of it) for my tastes not to mention that just because this was a plodding movie doesn't mean every reference and touch thrown in worked with the deft nuance of a Polanski or Kubrick. Argento though? Sure. I mean you know you're throwing every POS cult reference at the wall when guys walking goats on leashes show up wearing the stone Zardoz godhead. As for influences I'll throw another one out there..... the final denouement sort of came across as an inversion of The Sentinel (1977.)
  5. Is this a Naschy? No wonder it sucked. I only saw one of his werewolf movies (Curse of the Devil?) and it was also coma-inducing levels of boring even with tits included. Of course, I actually liked a non-werewolf movie of his "The Hunchback at The Morgue" as vintage Eurotrash B-movie sleaze. Yes, Naschy plays the titular hunchback and yes the hunchback gets some and we get to see it. I'm still compelled to getting around to seeing Wolfman vs. The Yeti. http://www.grindhousedatabase.com/index.php/The_Night_of_the_Howling_Beast That just sounds too random and thrown together to totally foul up.
  6. I'm just mainly wondering if and when Powers Boothe will ever show up considering the sheer amount of Deadwood alumni that have already been on the show. The school shooting felt gratuitous and beyond overkill for a show where almost everybody is an unlikeable manipulative and/or murderous scumbag anyways. Isn't shit bleak enough in their scuzzy little world? Yeah, add me to those that was certain Tig was going to stuff that freshly drowned corpse.
  7. I agree with this. In fact, I would say that HHH's run from the post-Summerslam '99 Raw where he first won the title (fucking Austin, I went all that way to Minneapolis to see HHH win the title, only to see Foley become a transition champion) all the way until he tore his quad is pretty unfuckwithable with only a couple speed bumps along the way, like the feud against the Brothers of Destruction. Bah. Why should HHH ever have went over Austin clean? Because he needed it? So what? I mean he did get the clean win and still nobody thought he was at Austin's level. Because in fact he did go over Austin cleanly at their three stages of hell match; even though there was no real reason for it and he was the asshole who had Austin run over with a hummer in the angle. What story are they trying to tell where the jerkoff who schemed to have a dude run over with a hummer wins the blowoff match? In terms of charisma or character the droning prick isn't a pimple on the ass of Rude or Perfect yet it's unthinkable for either of them to go over superheroes Hogan or Warrior cleanly even though that was the superhero era. Come to think of it I don't remember Austin ever going over Triple H at all after both had reached their peaks. HHH's whole push seemed more or less arbitrary and there was certainly no reason he deserved to win a feud over Austin anymore than a guy like Rude deserved to get made by going over Warrior; for example. Austin made himself during a feud with Hitman where he lost all the pivotal matches. HHH had to get to put over by X,Y and Z to get made. See the difference?
  8. The only caveat to this is I must've missed the 'Mania where he made Orton; triple clusterfuck threat matches don't really count or ever make anybody. Plus the one-on-one WM XXV main event between the two was pretty damn close to an extended squash. Of course, Orton didn't need to win that feud but the way he got his ass handed to him at WM was just as bad as having to eat Shane O'Mac's thin air punches in the lead-up to the feud. It was as shitty a headliner WM feud and main event as that worthless garbage between HHH and Jericho. But yeah it's hard to call him a self-serving prick when he's 3-6 at the last nine Manias; even if just getting the other slot against 'Taker in back-to-back years is a massive win.
  9. Looky. Looky. Some slanted idiots are still carrying the torch. http://www.coldhardfootballfacts.com/content/the-case-for-tim-tebow-nfl-quarterback/23046/
  10. As a Pats fan I believe alot of our fans may believe that though they might think they joined in 2000 though you know for growing pains and that Bledsoe guy was our QB for a while, and know they will be great for all time!!!! And Belichick should get fired everytime we lose a game because he's losing it. Spoiled ass bandwagoners how many even know Pete Carroll coached the team (awfully). Really?! 27-21 over three seasons? Was the roster still that loaded all those years after Tuna took the Jets project that they were good enough to win 12-13 games every year? Doubtful. Even Bledsoe's last great year was '97. I mean in 2000 Belichick coached the same jackals to an even worse (than Carroll) 5-11.
  11. Vic Morrow does not qualify for this thread. Clearly. The actual character was as great as every other surly hateful disillusioned old bastard he ever played. Awful career move though.
  12. I never really bought the "Cerebral Assassin" or "King of Kings" phases. He's always been varying degrees of the snooty blueblood snob version to me. Which judging from his "no drugs, no alcohol, just wrestling" outlook seems close enough to the real dude; a conceited bore. It's like if William Atherton suddenly got jacked up on steroids in the early 90's and started going toe to toe with Van Damme or some such shit. As for "stories they want to tell" since HHH never had the required panache to do the whole gloating preening posturing prick thing half as well as his hero that seems like a pretty piss poor story to tell and re-tell in the early 2000's where he's constantly gloating about his latest devious machinations and plans coming to fruition. I also find it pretty telling that he mentions "how does this work into the story we want to tell though?" when talking about how much garbage Austin would immediately shoot down when HHH or whatever other clown was peddling dead end self serving angles.
  13. Also if McNabb had better receivers to compile better stats for most of his career, he certainly qualifies as always pissing away the five plays that matter.
  14. I literally can't think of any QB in the history of football that better sums up "generic stat compiler who will fuck up the 5 plays in the game that matter" more than Tony Romo. Calling him an improvisational genius might be the funniest thing I've ever heard anyone say about the guy. I mean God bless him he's hardly the only thing wrong with the Cowboys and watching him have to throw 60-70 times a game last year was impossible not to have some sympathy for what he has to put up with, but the idea that I'd want the ball in Romo's hands if I had one throw for my life is something I couldn't be talked into on any day on this earth. But he is. He's the admittedly low end of a group that includes Rodgers and Roethlisberger. I clearly said "wet the bed" which acknowledges all the silly garbage he does to lose meaningful games. I'll still take him over the low end of long-term starting cyborg QB's with corn cobs stuck up their asses; especially behind the Cowboys usually weak to pitiful line. The Texans have always had a top tier line but that hasn't stopped Schaub from being exposed as a rustbucket piece of shit when it really counts. The current Texans are like all those nineties Chiefs teams that were led by average humps like Steve Bono and Elvis Grbac. It's nice to know what you're getting in the regular season because you're getting squat in the playoffs; especially at QB.
  15. I haven't the foggiest how that oblong-headed generic stat compiler Matt Schaub inspires confidence in anybody. I mean for as many times as Romo has wet the bed he at least has enough improvisational genius to his game that he could pull wins out of his ass RoboQB androids like Schaub are simply incapable of pulling off. Besides the Texans are barely a notch above the Cowboys since they actually made the playoffs the past couple of seasons. But if they were going to win anything once in the playoffs, they would've by now. It ain't happening for the Texans and it sure ain't happening with a middle aged Schaub at the helm; regardless of how watered down the AFC is compared to the NFC.
  16. I hated "The Beginning." For one thing while I got sick chuckles out of Ermey's antics in the '03 remake, him torturing the brothers in "The Beginning" dragged on so long and was so humorless and boorish he might as well have been some washed up hack comedian doing a lame ass special chock full of their greatest hits. Also I think the '03 movie was nasty enough for what it was that making things just a little bit nastier wasn't nearly enough to justify a prequel that added nothing else besides that amped up "nastiness."
  17. Anybody else realize how fitting it is the way this Bryan angle has went down and is playing out twenty years after the Summerslam where deluded idiot Bret Hart had actually convinced himself earlier that spring Hogan would ultimately lose the title to him clean as a whistle to the sharpshooter? What a dunce! And of course when you get right down to it that year’s WM IX conclusion wasn’t much different than your typical Money In The Bank scenario. Except that the red and yellow bullshitter was such a master manipulator that he didn’t need no stinking briefcase because all he had to do was simply stagger down to the ring and goad the big fat stupid monster heel into an impromptu title match. The powers of persuasion were Hulk’s money in the bank. He would also later use these great and mysterious powers to get around actually having to win the belt back from Goldberg. I still maintain the only one that looks bad out of that whole Hogan/Vince/Bret rigmarole was Bret for being a delusional enough mark (for himself) that he’d buy whatever lie they sold him in the first place while Hogan and Vince were only guilty of being their usual BS’ing selves. They had to tell the little candyass something to get him to calm down. So when you remember the whole smatter of Hogan/Vince/Bret backstage petty squabbling/politicking that gives this whole “Bryan just isn’t our preferred piss-ant” angle a nice verisimilitude whereas a great deal of Punk’s Shooty McShooterson garbage during “Summer of Punk” was contrived insider nonsense that if it didn't fly over most folks' heads bored the shit out of them.
  18. So is Test's career Reigns' floor or ceiling? Bearing in mind that nobody should ever be jackassy or ignorant enough to pretend a numpty like Jack Swagger's "World Heavyweight Title" runs were even on par with the I-C Title runs of Savage, Rude or Perfect. What else can Reigns even do besides stand there and look scary or spear fools?
  19. Absolutely. As ridiculously cut up and veins-a-poppin' though? Hawk had more of the powerlifter look, while Ultimate Warrior had more of the pro bodybuilder look. They both took a crazy amount of roids for sure, but Warrior was probably a nut about his diet, and Hawk probably lived off steaks and beer. Thanks. Yeah, that's what I was going for. You nailed it. Woiy.....ahem.....Warrior, because of his smaller frame, also looked more ridiculous and veiny than naturally much bigger framed Hogan. So I'm not sure Hawk was freakishly cut up enough like Woiy....Warrior (a different enough looking kind of... or wholly more impressive steroid freak than Hogan) that he would've ever whet Vince's big man appetite enough to actually put him over Hogan like he did with Woiy....Warrior.
  20. I'm in the same boat when it comes to loathing found footage but actually loving the first two REC movies. However most of what I've heard about the 3rd REC movie is that it's no better than any other disposable "zombie/possessed/infected horde" flick that gets churned out now-a-day. Maybe I'll have to give it a shot after all.
  21. Absolutely. As ridiculously cut up and veins-a-poppin' though?
  22. Was Hawk ever as remotely 'roided up as Ultimah Woiyah? I mean maybe in the mid-eighties but certainly not by the time they did finally show up in the WWF. Timeline and career trajectories don't work for anything close to Hogan/Hawk going down at WM VI instead of Hogan/Woiyah obviously. But much like Hogan/Nikita being a perfect feud that never happened, it's fun to consider the Road Warriors fucking up goody two shoes Hogan like they did Dusty anytime between '87-'89. Even though Hogan never would've went for it, Hawk was one of the few guys credibly monstrous and badass enough to put over Hogan years before Woiyah where as long as Hogan got his win back the yellow and red bullshitter's veneer of "immortality" isn't blown at all and it's not like Hawk could've done less after winning the prestigious "being Hulk Hogan title" than Woiyah did.
  23. and Clu MOTHERFUCKING GULAGER!!!! I am disappointed. Everyone knows that the real bonus of The Hidden is Claudia Christian's epic five minutes of screen time as Brenda the alien possessed stripper. Since this is kinda NSFW, The track playing on the radio while she is sexually murdering the guido in the lime green Caddie is Say Goodbye by Hunters & Collectors, a lost gem of 80's. Aussie pub funk fucking rules. Welp, you still left out the next best detail; the fact that "The Hidden" was the very next thing Jack Sholder directed after helming that fabulous Freddy sequel. I'm thinking the only way dude's career could've gotten much wackier was if he ended up directing Sonny Boy featuring David Carradine in drag as Pearl.
  24. Doesn't count because he did too many "non-title match" jobs ranging from real guys like Cena and Bryan down to total numbnut non-entities like Ziggler and Kane during his bullshit longest reign. Modern history is just code for the "titles don't mean shit anymore" and stringing out Punk's reign as long as they did doesn't even make his reign anymore significant than JBL's. Besides by now cRyback's just the modern equivalent to The Warlord. And even he made Punk look like his punk bitch for the majority of those matches regardless of the end result. "The Beast" gave way too much to the glorified tatted up sandwich artist. On the other hand, it really doesn't matter because by now it's clear Brock's only there to swap wins with the top guys even if they're glorified sandwich artists undeserving of the rub.
  25. If anything The Shield gave that jobber Dolph Ziggler way too much for a 3-on-1 handicap match. I didn't have any problem at all with the way the show ended though. It got two things over perfectly: Bryan's dogged pursuit of these dismissive pricks and them using his vengeance-clouded tunnel vision to toy with him.
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