FluffSnackwell

Braun and Corbin really should've debuted on the main roster together as some big ugly monster wreck shit tag team; just so I could now refer to Corbin as the Dan Spivey to Braun's Sid Vicious. No, Sid wasn't quite a giant, but like Braun he was an over the top cartoonish behemoth born with the look and mannerisms to be a pro wrestler and nothing else. That's not Corbin at all though. I don't care how legit tall he is. Razor Ramon was legit tall compared to the faces of his era but that didn't mean he automatically came off as a monster. They got Corbin's role right; bully who gives hell to normal sized faces but who in a pinch could also be turned to challenge brutes like Braun or Brock. Also comparing Spivey to Corbin is probably unfair since Waylon Mercy's Pentecostal psycho preacher was leaps and bounds better and more distinct during his limited run than whatever the fuck swamp hustler/cult leader/grubby mystic Bray Wyatt's character is even supposed to be. If Corbin had ever been part of the Wyatt Family, at best he would be tied for least distinct and least threatening family member. Meanwhile, Corbin sure isn't living the gimmick he ended up with. What the hell is a self-proclaimed Lone Wolf doing on Twitter whining about breaking out in severe butthurt because of a couple of lukewarm reviews from a dirt sheet writer? Corbin's just another biggish, tallish (but not monstrously huge) guy like Jack Swagger and Sheamus before him. With one getting disposed of in the garbage compacter and the other recycled in the tag team division, there was room for another big athletic generic bully to take up space in the upper midcard; even though they already had Luke Harper who's way more menacing looking than Choke Wolf. Whatever separates one big burly shitkicker from the next, Corbin doesn't have it. That doesn't necessarily mean he shouldn't get a run with the B brand title but that's only because the whole concept of B brand titles means far too many guys (who have no business being champions) are going to sooner than later. Come to think of it, while I thought Corbin cashing in on Nakamura would've been way too predictable, it would've been an epic troll job for him to cash in on Reigns for the Universal Title instead. But mainly I would've liked to have seen that scenario play out just so Reigns could earn some special asshole badge where that's the third time he was the hapless victim of such shenanigans.

They should just rehire Jack Swagger long enough for him to make fun of Baron Corbin because he successfully cashed in his Money In The Bank and Loser Wolf didn't, then after they have their big grudge match, regardless of the winner, they can both receive their Shit Canned walking papers and get the fuck out.

Baron Corbin's new ring attire should be a soiled diaper. Over his head. As Corbin was clomping back up the ramp, the immediate question that came to mind was "is he stupid or just a pussy?" He should've hit Cena with the briefcase a dozen more times then cashed in. Do the Money In The Bank cash-in dealie guys always have to wait the full minute and a half for the licensed offeeshull to resuscitate the Champion?

Well, now that clearly non-Marlon Brando (or even Brando-looking) Godfather is where I draw the line.

I remember one of the Apter mags doing a feature around that time where they threw together random tag teams based on things like common signature moves. One of the pairings was Rick Steiner & Warrior because they both used clotheslines. Even back then, I realized how weak Warrior's wacky waving inflatable arm flailing tube man clothesline looked compared to the Steinerline.

The recipient of the Alabama Jam has to rank right up there in terms of porniest looking jobbers; like the lovechild of Rick Rude and The Hillside Strangler.

Holy shit, mind blown by the thought of Vader in that costume as Arachnaman's Venom.

If only Vader had kept this attire, by the time he showed up on RAW, they could've used Nic Cage in a similar role to the one Leslie Nielsen played in the whole Underfaker angle. I guess they still would've needed to bring back Demolition to make a mystery out of which gimp-themed wrestler starred in the snuff film.

Didn't know John Goodman did a guest spot on RAW. Now I'm wondering what other cameos I may have missed. Maybe Konnan or Al Snow or whoever else was in those shitty masked gimmicks missed a flight and John Turturro had to fill in on an early random episode of RAW nobody remembers.

The only thing I noticed about the overbooked ending is that it seemed anachronistic as far as mid-eighties wrestling goes; even for GLOW. Impromptu title matches? Was that a thing back then; even in regional promotions or other low-rent outfits? But it worked wonderfully for the show's season finale.

Hogan's size may not have diminished by WrestleMania VI but it's definitely hard to imagine he was bigger than that period right around the first WrestleMania where he and Mr. T were guests on Saturday Night Live and Richard Belzer's show. For one thing, his head and face had that level of bloating a dude's gourd only exhibits when reaching max levels of 'roid usage. Also it's pretty depressing to consider the shape Hogan still ended up in with orange walrus hip dysplasia even after easing off the vitamins during the latter half of his career.

How wild would've it been for Taz to show up on a random Nitro and choke out Hogan to end one of his long-winded self congratulatory Hollywood promos? Was Taz a guy that jackass Russo could've gotten behind or would he have turned him into an actual oompa loompa faster than you can say "That Seventies Guy" Mike Awesome?

This reminds of a similar conversation on another board where somebody chimed in that "of course, Hogan scoffed, it already blew up in his face once passing the torch to Warrior and Bret was even smaller than him." You know, like fucking Glenn Danzig could've been the impostor Ultimate Warrior they trotted out any time they did the Meadowlands and nobody would've noticed the difference because of Jim Hellwig's diminutive stature. I mean, I'm sure even as early as 1990, Hogan was probably already carrying around noticeably less muscle mass than he was three years earlier against Andre. None of this changes how clunky it would've been Hogan putting over Hart. Was Tunney still an on-air authority figure at that point? Maybe Bret beats Hogan for the title with one of those artsy fartsy roll-ups he beat Piper with at WrestleMania VIII, and then Hogan goes absolutely apeshit into a full-blown rage postmatch which is bad enough to injure Hart and causes Hogan to get suspended indefinitely; long enough for him to simply go away and eventually sign with WCW making any lingering issue a moot point.

Absolutely not. If they tried to pull something like that out of the wild blue yonder in the WWF around WrestleMania X, it reeks of desperation. More than that, it's just too random and bizarre to see Hogan suddenly cowering to a guy in Bret who was still very much a transitional Champion at that point. Hollywood Hogan definitely worked to max effect because it was him getting legitimately pissy that his act had finally gotten stale; "even though these so-called fans were just the Podunk redneck trash that liked WCW; not the fans of the dominant product up North." [paraphrasing] That was always the nicest touch; Hogan not being convinced his red and yellow act was the problem but rather it was simply lost on the bumpkins how fortunate they were that he ever joined their rinky dink wrasslin outfit in the first place. How's this for a crazy alternate timeline? Hogan actually does stay away from wrestling for a few more years (during his mid-nineties sabbatical) eventually returning to the WWF and finding himself Champion again just as Stone Cold is starting to take off. Then we get Austin winning his first title off Hogan at WrestleMania XIV and Hogan turning Hollywood as Vince's corporate Champion.

Eh, I'm pretty sure Goldberg thinks candied glass is for pussies. I should also mention that in my scenario Braun would've had shards of glass sticking out of his head and face following the punch through the window, which still wouldn't have been nearly enough to deter him from maiming Reigns. That's only doable if it's a pre-taped segment where makeup runs in and glues the shit to his face and they probably have to do several takes. Back to Goldberg and that whole little incident, it did give me the fascinating notion that WCW could've hired Frank Dux as candied glass coordinator, which would then somehow lead to him eventually having an on-air role defending the Kumite Trophy against Ernest "The Cat" Miller. I mean they had the fucking Misfits as on-air characters because Vampiro scored them drugs or something or was their piccolo player at one time. So it definitely could've worked out where Dux was Goldberg's plexiglass guy and then wound up as an on-air (lack of) talent in some ill-conceived angle with Glacier or Ernest Miller.