Cobra Commander

Fuck you to the memory-hog Google Chrome. Somehow Firefox is looking efficient by comparison. But Chrome just has to keep tons of private memory while using one tab, and makes it impossible to do logical things like "delete your history/etc before (x)". They will let you delete your stuff from after (x). Because when they keep 90 fucking days of history, it makes sense to make it so you can delete your last 30 days, not the first 60 days. Also I got a jury summons over the summer. But they cancelled the session the day before. I was kinda disappointed since I'm a non-employed American and a jury duty session would actually be more profitable than the status quo

Ryback is working an Amanda Bynes gimmick

does it count as training if Mr. Hughes showed up and taught them how to perform a sidewalk slam? but yeah, the other non-power guy bodyguard idea would be like if someone dressed like Meng (when he was with Parker) and mainly stretched dudes. Sorta like having Ken Shamrock as a bodyguard

have there been any bodyguard/muscle guys that weren't primarily power wrestlers? it might be a twist if there was a bodyguard outside the ring who did highflying moves in the ring too

also, Uhaa was trained by Mr. Hughes. So either Mr. Hughes has a wrestling school, or he's just randomly helping guys out

am I gonna have to mention Ric Flair v. Lizmark Jr again?

I'd guess that he'd switch from Uhaa Nation to some Marcus Cor Von variant if he ever goes to Florida. Long live Uhaa Cornelius!

so if we're following the WWE's rules for minority superstars, Uhaa will show up as either Kofi Kingston's cousin, or Kofi Kingston's old enemy from West Africa? or he'll debut as "Small E Langston"

presenting: Dump Matsumoto's entire WWF run! 3/8/86: Dump/Bull Nakano v. Velvet McIntire/Dawn Marie from the Boston Garden https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=12yefjmqUKY Your distractions from the Gorilla/Hayes commentary track (are you aware that Dump is large? seriously, Gorilla fucking Monsoon is gonna make endless fat jokes? no wonder this didn't work): Velvet in her "foot fetishists delight" (barefoot) attire, the confusion over what to call Dump/Nakano (Devils of Japan? Devils Duo?), Monsoon's inability to pronounce Nakano, or Gorilla having to sell Dump stepping on Dawn Marie's right breast as a throat-shot. 3/11/86: Dump/Nakano v. Susan Starr/Candice Pardee (aired on Prime Time in April 1986) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WdAAjJg4wRM Nice Greenwich Village joke, Gorilla. Subtle. The video quality sucks. Less weight jokes from Gorilla. Lots of (probably) Moolah/Mae trainees getting repeatedly lariated and whipped into the ring. 3/16/86: Dump/Nakano v. Velvet McIntyre/Linda Gonzalez from MSG https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UrJL8SnlLuI The MSG walk! The same shitty Greenwich Village joke! The shitty zoomed-out hard camera! The lack of heat pre-match does make individual hecklers easier to hear. Bump like a freak Velvet. So much teasing of tags and the ref constantly not seeing shit. Gorilla clubbed Gilberto Roman to death after the show. The Crush Gals also appeared on the same shows. 3/8 (v. Judy Martin/Donna Christianello), 3/11 (v. Leilani Kai/Black Venus) and 3/16 (v. Leilani Kai/Penny Mitchell) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SvX_LyPri2g https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q9xc3PurK5E Fuck you Gorilla, you get to pronounce Japanese names for 20 minutes! (the tag denial with the "I'll just step on the closest hand and stare at you" look, awesome). And here's the Crush Gals at MSG Gorilla Monsoon calling Japanese Womens wrestling isn't terrible compared to the Larry Z commentary tracks from WCW 1996. But it's... interesting, aside from the "oh, the Bull/the Dump are portly".. which I believe is the same sort of commentary that we remember from the Aja Kong WWF run So, AJW and the WWF differed slightly in demographics in 1986

that moment when Lawler has to explain to Okafor/Thabeet that he's painting a crescent sun on their stomach, not a banana

Tanaka wasn't in ECW from Living Dangerously (3/12) to April 21st. The title change was on April 12th. The card on the night of Awesome's first no-show (4/6) was to give you an idea of what they were working with

interesting Q: how much of the WCW video archives have been digitized by the WWE? and how much is just film/VHS? Not sure if it's like Archive.org where they're just constantly taking film and putting it in a more modern usable format just in case, or if they go on a need basis? if it's all digital now, they can just have a "spin the wheel, make the deal" option where you wind up watching a random match or show

The video will go out and there will be a graphic saying "we're sorry, there's a cloud overhead disrupting our signal". and that will happen during the main event. And the only way to see the finish will be to use the WWE App. So, will they just lay off shilling for the App to shill for the Network for awhile? Would it be too topical for them to parody the ACA signup stuff by using the phrase "GET COVERED! GET THE WWE NETWORK" as their Network shilling? or is it maybe a bit much to invoke one of the lousier internet rollouts as a way to build a subscriber base for your internet-streaming network? Also, Mike Rotundo's uncharismatic self could just do the DirecTV gimmick.

the DirectTV gimmick should be fun. Would the guy in that gimmick restrict the ability of WWE fans to see him in action for free?

i'm gonna start storyboarding my idea where 50 Cent shows up in the WWE with Ken Shamrock as his muscle

so Brock interrupts the tribute to beat up Mark Henry some more?

post-Thunder debut, it'd be completely accurate to call WCWSN a C-Show, but it was probably going hard that way through 1997

WCW C-Shows are JL and the Gambler getting 7 minutes https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JFSt8tIbk9c

I do admire the restraint of people to not defend Piazza's bacne by making offensive statements about Italian-Americans

LeBatard should have done the honorable thing by fucking over Craig Biggio due to the actions of his contemporaries. I'm watching Dragnet right now, so I figure the "fuck the 90s" sentiment is the BBWAA equivalent to how Dragnet 67 usually focused on hippies/radicals in every episode

when Smoltz gets in, the 1980s TBS viewership caucus can focus full efforts on inducting Dale Murphy again

congrats to two Braves pitchers who did their best to make sure WCW Saturday Night was rarely delayed due to baseball

players are allowed to use their weightlifting strength to manipulate the goalposts mid-field goal to block field goals

so they're about to blow some more money on the next WBF/XFL/Linda campaign? Xtreme Basketball League! teams in NY/Chicago/LA, and in Pittsburgh/Baltimore/Cincy/St Louis/Seattle/Kansas City/Las Vegas

so when Jimmy Hart had the WCW musical "book" for a bit in 97, he knocked off a bunch of currentish songs for WCW themes. Not sure which recent stuff would be good enough to be knocked off if they did that again. But this instrumental version of Antichrist Superstar sounds like it'd be a WWE theme song for someone doing a Bull Buchanan gimmick