Control

Tell that to his face.

Ok so who is the small child tagging with Zeus and Hino?

I’ve never watched them, but the scuttlebutt suggests that both Soya v Ashino matches from last year are worth a watch, plus Ashino v T-Hawk from this year.

Saw Bushwhacker Luke wrestle a 8-10 minute singles match last night. Dude’s 72 and taking flat-back bumps. What a stud.

So if I broker a contract, will the talent I invite from that company still regularly back out on me?

Has anyone managed to scoop a wrestler from another fed (and if so, how)?

Just started year four at #5. Haven’t tried to venture out of my home territory, but have been doing the 40,000 person venue at $60 a seat. My path to success has included using the most expensive ref, plus inviting champs from lesser promotions and taking their belts.

SHOUT! seems to have added the rest of the alphabet to their moving sale.

Thoughts on the finals:

A late Day 17 review~! I'll spoiler it for now I guess.

There are also Valletta truthers out there claiming that his recent high-profile wins are the result of DARK MONEY or some other insidious influence at work in AJ, like the Maltese gov’t or Mafia have a vested influence in Valletta getting some scalps in a mid-level Japanese fed. This is laughable for many reasons, not the least of which is that wrestling is already fixed.

I have discovered that there’s a pretty vocal contingent of Tweeters who seem to unironically think Gianni Valletta is great—like, the best part of AJ—and I just can’t wrap my head around it.

Day 16: A Block Finals. I'm going to spoiler tag this whole thing. Thoughts:

OK, cool, I am all caught up. Day 15 first. Thoughts~!: This is a fine show. The matches are tight but not exceptional, since I think everyone is recovering and/or saving themselves for the final days. Doering vs Redman is probably my favourite Redman match (and maybe best Doering match so far). Because Doering does not look lost by Redman's' wrestling; in fact, he's fine with it, like it reminds him of his training back in the day. Fans love Redman. He comes to the ring shaking hands, kissing babies, etc. Lee vs Adonis: Adonis's tights say, like, "Sexy Violence" or something. This is fine. Adonis is totally OK and Lee is OK too. Adonis really brings nothing to this tournament: less than Cyber Kong. But, this is as good a match as anyone is going to get out of him. Okabayashi vs Aoki is quite a bit of fun, with Aoki trying every type of flash pin to get the win, and selling Oka's offence like it's death. If anything, I think it might be overdone: Aoki might be tiny compared to Oka, but they treat him like his offence can't pose a threat at all, which I think is a bit silly. Dude could try armbars and kicks and shit. He's been wrestling for a long ass time. Still, fun to watch the mismatch. Miyahara can't get the match out of Sai that Zeus did, but this is nonetheless pretty good. All-in-all, an entertaining show, but there's nothing must-see on here. Complete and Objective Match Ratings:

Any chance one of you fine blokes could do me a solid and post/dm me the standings going into (but not including the results of) today, the 25th? like, grab 'em from purolove, who prob posted standings at bottom of yesterday's card? Want to go into today's show unspoiled but also with some idea of how everyone's standing (because I haven't been keeping track and think like almost everyone's tied?_.

I watched day 14 (April 23) of the CC. Thoughts: I haven't been watching the undercards, for the most part, but I wanted to see if Lee/Iwamoto vs Suwama/Okada built on the previous show's Lee/Suwama match. And it didn't. It was also super short, so I'm guessing they're still pretty beat up. I did get to see Iwamoto judo-flip Suwama, though. Yoshitatsu vs Hashimoto is actually a pretty good match. Maybe even a quite good match, but it’s really hard to get emotionally invested in either guy. They start with a lot of pretty good mat/chain wrestling, like they’re worried Redman is watching them and going to go back to England and be all like “lads they don’t know how to wrestle there, it’s all chops and clotheslines and very few drop toe holds or spinning wristlock escapes!” No one fucks up at all and Hash doesn’t look lost, so a real win in everyone’s books, even though the ending seems quite abrupt. Aoki vs Valetta: thanks to lostintube, I now know that when the wrestlers are brawling outside the ring, the announcer is saying “oki o tsuke kudasaI” or “watch your butts, fans!” So it’s delightful to realize that they say the same thing when Valetta is just coming to the ring. Like, “watch out, this mediocre Bruiser Brody clone is too crazy for us to control!” What if AJ didn’t make Valetta a Bruiser Brody clone but a Tiger Jeet Singh clone? I think I’d be down with him waving a sabre and spitting fire at people. Fuck yeah. Side note (to that side note): A chain is actually a pretty shitty wrestling weapon, because it doesn’t look like it hurts, but I bet it probably hurts. Though admittedly this chain seems very light and jingles a lot, like it’s made of tin or something. Or some other light metal. Fuck it, I’m not a metallurgist. This is … also pretty good? Valetta is perhaps learning how to grow into this very limited role he’s been given. Absolute best-case scenario is that he improves enough to kind of make room within the role for his own stuff, like how Doering is meant to be Hansen and still does a lot of Hansen stuff but has definitely become his own guy. But I’m not saying he’s there or even close to getting there. He is doing the right stuff in this role, though, like kicking at young boys and threatening the ref with a heavy chair beating, etc. He also shakes Aoki’s hand at the start, and looks over his shoulder to give the camera a greasy smile, which was a nice touch. Honestly, I think this was Aoki’s chance to do something, like take the chain himself and shit kick Valetta with it. Instead he just wrestling him, what a waste. Sai vs Okabayashi: Sai keeps threatening to superplex people out of the ring, and I gotta say that, on top of the fact that no one is going to take that bump (maybe PCO), shouldn’t it like actually be illegal? If hitting people with a chair is bad, why would I be allowed to throw them off the turnbuckle and into the audience? Anyway, this gets off to a quick start, and other than some very standard weird Sai posturing on the top rope, mostly stays brisk. Good match, but there’s not enough weight to it to be anything memorable. James vs Ishikawa: actually kinda similar to the previous match, in that it was good but they didn’t really put enough into it to make it next-level. Ishikawa is having a great CC, though. I think better than last year’s. It’d be hard not to just slap the triple crown on Ishikawa. He’s always good and he’s incredibly convincing as an unstoppable monster. Dylan James is only 27! If this dude sticks around he’ll be TC champ in a few years for sure. He’s the ideal foreigner: big, beefy, and capable of going 30 minutes if necessary. Though he was looking pretty beat up from that Okabayashi match. Whole show was solid without being great. Complete and Objective Match Rankings: [Ishikawa/Okabayashi might be overrated at this point. It was the first top-tier match of the tournament. I'm probably not going to go back and revisit them anytime soon, though]

I watched day 13~! of the Champion('s?) Carnival. Thoughts~! Good to great matches, here. The story with Redman throughout the tournament has been that he is a riddle each wrestler has to solve. For AJ guys, wrestling is smashing your body into your opponent's body until one body fails; for Redman, wrestling is slapping your thigh and doing head stands on the turnbuckle. He might as well have gotten off a UFO and started wrestling. So, each match is the AJ guy getting frustrated by Redman's bizarre style--either they lose their cool and take the loss, or they solve the riddle and get the pin. But not Yoshitatsu. He's like "oh you like goofy shit brother I live in goofy shit land lets do some goofy shit" And Redman is like "no that's not goofy shit that just kinda bad wrestling" Like why does Yoshitatsu insist on doing moves that he botches 50% of the time. Just replace them with like your standard X Firepro moveset. But actually I'm being hard on Yoshi who really brought his work boots to the CC. Also, I haven't been paying attention to the score, and it kinda feels like he's in the lead? Anyway, YT does this move that is kind like a gogoplata. And they treat it like a sleeper, so that the ref raises the hand three times, and if it falls the third time--uh, the opponent is out, so the ref suggests a pin? Just weird stuff. And he never gets the pin. But LOL, no one told Redman, and the dude taps out like it's a submission. What a dork. People are saying Redman's a great technical wrestler, but I think like this is more of a judgement on quantity than quality. Like, is he good at technical wrestling or does he just do a lot of it? We don't say Hashimoto is good at scream wrestling, even though 63% of his matches is just screaming. Speaking of Hashimoto, Doering smushed him. This is good. OK, so Zeus and Okabayashi is *the match* of this tournament that I've been waiting for. It is a battle of practical muscles vs glamour muscles. Zeus *points at Okabayashi*: Where is your neck, motherfucker? Like Oka/James, there is a lot of chopping. Unlike Oka/James, the chops aren't just killing time, and there's a definite destination for this match. Zeus *taunting Okabayashi*: You may be strong but look at my slender waist. I wear like a 30" in the trousers. Suck it fatboy! Okabayashi: My muscles are a testament to my hard work! Your muscles are a condemnation of your vanity! Honestly, as long as they didn't get injured, I'd have given this a million stars. But it's worth it. Zeus, you are the champion of my heart. And the main event is Suwama vs Lee. Both have been a bit underwhelming this tournament, to be honest So the story here is that Suwama is maybe reaching has-been status; he's tag champ, sure, but he's been locked out of the finals of the singles tournaments and he just got put down by Miyahara. He's got Fat Elvis jowls now. But he's also prematurely morphing into Tenryu before our very eyes. And Jake Lee is the sexy tall Korean who's hoping to ascend to the pinnacle of wrestlehood [if this were the WWE, Lee, Zeus, and Sai would be lumped together in an all-Korean stable. They'd dance to the ring to Gangnam Style ] Jake Lee *points to Suwama*: How much gas do you have left in the tank, old man? Suwama to Jake: Enough to fuck~! your~! mother~! <Dramatization: May Not Have Happened> This is very much a Suwama match, which is to say plodding but in sort of a good way. We start with Lee working on Suwama's arm, which he probably oversells to be quite honest, but he's a generous soul. And Suwama makes a comeback on the outside by lifting Lee up and literally ramming his back into the ring post. Ouch. So now they're both gibbled. And the match seems to meander a bit until a really exceptional part where Lee manages to unload his first running knee to Suwama's chest. I think this is called the Giant Killer (or Giant Killing), but maybe that's a special kind of running knee? In any case, Suwama sells the first one like it's caved his chest in. And he sells the second like his sternum has been split in two. And this is where things get gripping, because though the pace is slow the drama is HIGH A third running knee! Suwama wants you to know his rib-cage has been shattered! His lungs are filling with blood! Though it's a two count, Suwama then---passes out from the pain! We get a close up of Suwama's dead face and Wada checking him for a pulse. I actually think they're going to end with a KO, and that this seems credible says much about Suwama's selling. But anyway, he's too manly for that shit. Suwama is back, but his one arm is clutched to his side while the other attempts vainly to hold the wreckage of his torso together. And from this disadvantage of age and physical condition, Suwama mounts his comeback~! Anyway, very good for drama and maybe less so for actual workrate. The win-loss records of this CC have been wild. Pretty sure everyone's in a big clump in the middle. Prediction: Ryuji Sai beats Okabayashi. Complete and Objective Match Rankings:

Lol, I do the same thing with course outlines, which are long and dull but full of important info, so like on page four under like “email policies” I’ll just drop in “send me a picture of TV’s Alf to receive a bonus point to your final grade” just to see if anyone’s reading.

Shout Factory having a sale Here

I watched day~! 12~! of the Champion Carnival~! Thoughts: Yoshitatsu and Sam Adonis definitely had a match that I haven't completely forgotten already Your enjoyment of Dylan James vs Okabayashi will depend entirely on how much you enjoy two beefbags pounding on each other for an extended period of time. I was very much behind it for about 20 minutes but it got a bit too chaotic and clumsy in the last stretch. Okabayashi has really weird lariats, I'm now noticing. Maybe it's because of his little T-Rex arms or his short stature, but he hooks his arms up a lot and ends up smacking his opponent in the face. E.g. he smacked James in the eye, causing it to swell up and bleed. The two killed time with lots of chops to the chest, like they were Tenryu/Hashimoto or Kobashi/Sasaki. Though they're not those guys. At a few points it was an obvious stalling strategy, but if you're gonna stall, I'd rather see these two chop each other than trade rest holds. Why does Okabayashi do a torture rack? He literally gets choked out of it every time. OK I was happy to see Redman in the ring again, but then he was all like "I slappy slappy my thigh, which means you run at it for no reason and I step over you, and you will be perplexed! Wooooo, BritWres!" and my old hatred flared up. Suwama must like Redman because the back suplex he does that's usually a headdrop was a much safer shoulder drop. Hashimoto is really deceptive, in that, like Sai, his look makes you expect something more. Something better. How can a dude that looks like an anime samurai and/or Mortal Combat fighter be so fucking tepid in the ring? Can you imagine being Nomura, and having an absolute banger against Miyahara, and Akiyama is like "you are one of the new Four Pillars of Heaven," and fans love you, and then Uncle Jun is back and he's like "BTW you're jobbing to Daichi Fucking Hashimoto, try not to make it look like shit"? And then Gianni Valetta had his best match ever. His hero's journey from terribleness to mediocrity continues apace! Complete and Objective Match Rankings:

Gianni Valetta has wracked up a surprising amount of wins over top talent in this tournament. I look forward (?) to his TC match. The funny thing is, no one has ever seen his finisher before, so when he does the TKO for the pin, ppl were like "wait what?"

I watched days 10 and 11 of the Champion's Carnival. Thoughts~! April 16 Not a great show I haven't been watching the non-CC matches, because I haven't the time, but I decided to watch the 6 man with Shrek. There are many facets to wrestling, and one of the facets is the look. And Shrek has that. He is weird and stocky and has an afro. He's terrible at all the other facets of wrestling, though. Like, I've seen local wrestlers debut--17 year-olds with bad tattoos named Justin Maxxx or some shit. And Justin Maxxx would be like "Get your shit together Shrek" Valetta is not the worst guy in this tournament. For shame, guys worse than Valetta. Valetta vs Okabayashi is the best Valetta match ever. Doering and Cyber Kong have a perfectly acceptable match, and then the ending gets duffed badly, with Kong's shoulder drifting off the mat (I guess?), so Doering has to pin him twice. Very weird. Without any sound, you get to hear Daichi Hashimoto's screams, which are weird dog-like yelps, or maybe like a kabuki actor being trying to get across the idea that he's being tormented by scary ghosts! This is the best thing about him. Suwama is not lighting the world on fire this tournament. Last year, there was an argument to be made for Suwama as tournament MVP (or at least kinda dark horse MVP), but he's not doing much this year. April 17 Good main event Not much else that is great Valetta continues to have a surprising tournament Aoyagi is getting the rub from Miyahara (just like Lee did in 2017 and Nomura did in 2018). Showing that he deserves to be in the conversation with Nomura and Jake. Complete and objective match rankings.

Just FYI, my wrestling pet peeve is when a guy stops selling a submission the moment he makes it to the ropes, even though the hold hasn’t been broken yet.