Contentious C

I'm thinking of a certain old sketch involving HHH where Vince demanded Hunter come to the ring in very particular terms. Turns out he could have just stood there by himself, for the thousandth time. Like we needed any more examples. Too bad there isn't actually a Hell for him to visit someday.

When I saw you were the last post, I fully expected an update on how you delivered your hamburger helper baby this morning. This will do instead.

At least he could scream right back at the POS owner.

Today's Gym Douche is the guy who sees me set up to do T-bar rows in the corner (only location, I can't go anywhere) next to someone using a bench that's in my peripheral vision, and then has to ask me if he can use the ENTIRELY MOBILE Bulgarian split squat stand RIGHT NEXT to me on the other side. My exact response was, "You know, you can use that thing literally anywhere in the gym, dude," and he had to be a snitty little asshat about that response. Just be an adult, don't fucking ask, look for some open space, and pick the goddamn 10-pound piece of equipment up and move it. Of course, he's also the same gym douche who breaks his arm patting himself on the back for doing 5 plates on hip thrusts but also wonders why his deadlifts suck (it's because hip thrusts don't do shit for your glutes like you need, dumb fuck; do some fucking lunges), and spends the ENTIRE workout talking when he isn't lifting (if you have enough energy to talk that much, you aren't going hard enough, dumb fuck), and also asked me once if RDLs made my low back hurt (they don't, maybe if you didn't ego lift 225+ when you're the same size as me *and* have shitty range of motion, yours wouldn't either, dumb fuck). Oh, and he couldn't figure out how to adjust the stand anyway, so he just used a bench (untwist the posts, pull them and adjust pad height, twist back to tighten them in place, dumb fuck).

Tempted to place a bet for a Celtics/Sixers conference finals today. And I don't gamble.

I know the 2 you've seen because we've talked about them. I'm guessing the other three are Eraserhead; Stalker; and Paris, Texas?

The thing I'm wondering about with TD:NC is

Hey @Mike Campbell - poor Uncle Smegma, huh?

Fuck the AFC. Go Lions.

The problem with the Chiefs potentially winning is they have no shot of stopping Baltimore. The Bills at least have the puncher's chance. Please win this, Good Josh.

This...might be Bonkers Night Game #2.

That was pretty.

Hey, it's Good Josh Allen.

Yay Lions Boo all you guys who evidently need some Kleenex

Is it just me, or does Jared Goff look just a little like Ryan Gosling, especially when he's in the game with the helmet on? It's the beadiness of the eyes. I'm calling him Lion Goffling from now on. You do what you want.

I think my neighbors might share one brain cell among the 10-12 of them on this end of the hall. I've had to deal with one brain donor slamming his doors over and over again, because evidently it's impossible to hire a professional to fix the problem. My door has a door closer on it. That's...literally all you need to keep it from slamming if you set the tension correctly. This dipshit? Well, he's been out in the hall fucking with the door for the last 90 minutes, and has managed to slam it about 30+ times in that time frame while being a fuck-up. Thanks, dude. And that's the "good" neighbor, not the drug-dealing wannabe-thug fuckface, or the dumb asshole who lets her child scream like a pig in an abbatoir every time she sets foot in the hallway, or the 'argues at 1 AM through the bedroom wall and slams doors to pout' fuckface.

I thought Mike McCarthy got eliminated already, and yet there's all this terrible clock management. Did he infect LaFleur by being on the opposite sideline?

Sphincters re-tightening to greased BB levels. Man, these Packers are scrappy. Until that kick, anyway. Ick.

Now we got a ball game, and slightly less tight sphincters in Santa Clara. Jesus, this went from defensive scrum to Bugfuck Crazy at Warp 8.

Taybor Pepper doesn't sound like a football player's name, even a long snapper. It sounds like a Macguffin export you fight over in a Star Wars movie.

Cripes, what a catch by Doubs. But SF keeps getting stingy in the red zone.

Yeeeeeeeeesh. Fuck that dumbass Instacart commercial.

This first drive almost makes you wonder if SF is going to get a case of the Shanahans tonight.

Well, this is over.

I was about to say a missed FG and then the Ravens potentially going down the field for 7 would be crucial but, uh, haha, fuck you Ravens, enjoy your second half kickoff.