Super Ape

That LOLTNA wiki is gone. Please tell me someone archived it.

BBQMAS COMES EARLY!

I wouldn't know about child support, but a run-of-the-mill preschool in Philadelphia costs more per month than our rent. That's bullshit.

Fuck my job, fuck being passed up for a promotion I needed, and fuck the staggering bills I can't pay because of fucking CHILDCARE. You know childcare in this country is screwed up when I'm looking forward to enrolling my daughter in the nearby $4,500/year Lutheran school (aka half of what I'm paying now).

And now imagine someone in Japan in 1987 declaring Final Fantasy I the worst ever because it ain't no Dragon Quest.

One wonders who rough off Fujiwara has to be to be getting hit with exploding chairs in his old age. Not gonna lie; when Onita hit that button I thought the ring was going to explode like an FMW show in like a minute.

I never saw that first season of Food Network Star, so I don't recall how anyone could possibly root for Guy. Also, Anthony Bourdain is responsible for the greatest diss in history, when he described Guy as "if Ed Hardy fucked a juggalo." That said, I think the day I found out that Guy Fieri and the fat dude from Smash Mouth are NOT the same person may have been the most "go mad from the truth" experience in my life. I don't know if anyone here has seen it, but there's a show on PBS called A Taste of History hosted by the head chef at Philadelphia's City Tavern, this German guy who demonstrates all these AWESOME-looking 18th-century colonial recipes. I love that show. I also love ATK (even got the Nintendo DS "game" that is really just a digital cookbook) and anything with Alton Brown. And bravissimo to the guy who mentioned Nadia G. (aka the future Mrs. Super Ape) I once saw a YouTube tutorial lead by Gordon Ramsay on how to cook a proper omelet. Suffice to say, the fact that he DIDN'T look like he was two seconds away from an aneurysm was slightly surprising.

Oh shit, OSJ is auditioning for Chopped. We demand videos!

I'll be all about it because I never played X, and the chance to fight an International SUPERBOSS is something I can't pass up.

Goichi Suda reported that Masuda, the head programmer behind the original Pro Wrestling game on the NES and the creator of the Fire Pro Wrestling series passed away at age 48 (yes, that means Pro Wrestling came out when he was around 20). A winner is you forever, Mr. Masuda.

That sounds fantastic. I can't wait to give that a try. Where's Kyle Casey and his fish-and-sausage stew recipe? I've felt like cooking that for a while but I forget exactly how to make it and reading the recipe will remind me of the tweaks I did to it the first time I made it.

I take responsibility for dissing Kid Rock and awakening FSW.

Bah, everyone knows the real star of Homestar Runner is Strong Bad, and unless it revolves around him... A world without Homsar is like a world without sunshine.

HOMESTAR RUNNER UPDATED AND IT'S NOT AN APRIL FOOL'S GAG

I knew using that as my sig would come back to bite me in the ass.

I'm terrified to ask as to why, Matt.

You think Kid Rock and Uncle Kracker are anything other than fucking terrible. Care to rethink your life decisions?

The station my co-worker's radio is set on plays Kracker's shitty cover of "Drift Away" once a day, like clockwork. Because "music that makes you feel good" = "one of Motown's most iconic songs being butchered by someone who looks and sounds like Larry the Cable Guy fucked the fat dude from Smash Mouth in a bathtub full of Summer's Eve." THIS IS WHY I'M MISERABLE, PEOPLE. (Said station also plays "Hey Soul Sister," by Train every day, which I'm convinced is played on auto loop in the waiting room for hell, but that's another story. Which I'm sure I will get to on here someday.)

You ever think if you weren't so miserable you wouldn't be so miserable? That motherfucker unleashed Uncle Kracker on the world. In any sane, rational society that would get him charged with crimes against humanity.

Would if I could. The wife's job forces us to stay in the city, which will make the daughter's schooling a war because she doesn't want her in a parochial school and I don't want her in a public school. Though that's a non-sports issue, so I don't know what moving would do in that regard. When Opening Day came and went without me giving it much regard, I figured that the sports fandom left my body and I'm just dealing with the withdrawal.

So I turn on Raw and get up to date on shit before Wrestlemania. Then I find out Kid Rock did the theme song for this year's Mania. My sig sums up my official feelings on WrestleMania. Fuck Kid Rock.

Let's be honest, you can find a de facto fuck you thread in each of the sports subgroups. The only thing that keeps me from agreeing with you on geography is that the Flyers are actually doing decently and I could not care less. Ditto for the turnaround season the Eagles had. And there are LOTS of Philly-area Cowboys fans, so...

I can't justify paying for basic cable. Some specialty package for a hyper-obscure sport (in the US, anyway) is right out.

I can't think of a better place to put this, because I don't want to post this on the sports forum and this thread seems the best place to bitch about this. But fuck spectator sports. I'm a sports fan who hates what sports has become, and not even because of the clichéd "the players are overpaid waaaaah" shit. NHL: That last lockout too the wind out of my sails, as did the Flyers subsequent bed-shitting after play started again, to the point where I don't even give a shit that they're doing well again. On top of that, it's almost impossible to watch the games without cable, and far too expensive to see a live game, especially with the Phantoms moving out of Philly years ago (I used to get into Phantoms games for $10 as a student), and apparently when they came back in 2012 for that Outdoor Classic game, getting tickets was impossible or very expensive. This hurts the most because hockey was the first sport I fell in love with, and realizing I don't care about it anymore just seems so sad. NBA: I gave this up before the Sixers started Tankapalooza. I already watch professional wrestling. One scripted spectacle posing as sport is enough. When Carmelo bitched about not getting "superstar" calls I knew I made the right choice. NFL: I know I'm going to sound like a colossal hypocrite for all the shit I said about Michael Vick, but I'm not rooting for a team with Buttfumble. MLB: The Phillies come up with more and more reasons for me to hate them. Ruben Amaro runs the team into the ground, and then they rat out that former prospect to the NCAA and pretty much destroy any chance of getting a worthwhile prospect for years. On top of that, they sign that TV deal with Comcast... and Comcast cuts the number of games going OTA this season from 50 to MAYBE 11 or 12. I understand airing games on cable, but since so much tax money went into Citizens Bank Park it doesn't seem so absurd to me that we should get more than a handful of OTA games. Before long radio broadcasts will be moved to SiriusXM and we'll be expected to pay that just to be able to hear a game. And just to twist the knife a little more, this team runs commercials for Comcast Sports Net that say (paraphrased) that if you don't have Comcast cable you should go be a Mets fan. COLLEGE: I swore that I would never watch or endorse any form of college athletics again after Penn State got off the hook in the Sandusky case. Since then Philly's gotten the College Rugby 7s tournament, the College Cup for soccer, AND we'll be getting the Frozen Four in April. And I haven't watched a lick of it because of my principles. Oh, and I live in the home of Big 5 college basketball. Morals suck. And now I'm left with a gaping void where my interest in sports used to be. I hate it, but I'm sick of dealing with something that gives me so much misery and nothing worthwhile in return.

This space reserved for Buttfumble and cute animal gifs.