(BP)

The Rule of Jenny Pen: I’ve seen this aptly described as a gender-swapped hagsploitation movie. If we’re getting Bill and Ted doing Waiting for Godot on stage, surely Broadway has room for John Lithgow and Geoffrey Rush in Whatever Happened to Baby John? Anyway, Lithgow at 80 is still fucking terrifying, and his character here enters the pantheon of creeps and psychos he’s portrayed during his career. It’s a bit longer than necessary, but it manages to be both a gripping character study about end of life care while also being a creepy potboiler about a violent battle of wills between a principled misanthrope and a human monster he can’t quite comprehend. ***

That’s great, but didn’t Zaslav already get a write-off for shelving it? I have no idea how that works. It makes me think of when Rick Rude couldn’t come out of retirement because he cashed in his Lloyd’s of London policy and he would have had to pay them back to wrestle again.

Vin Diesel’s Kojak could team up with Mark Wahlberg’s Spencer for Hire, throw in The Equalizer with Denzel (okay who are we kidding, Queen Latifah.) Fuck it, Michael Strahan is also in it as Hunter. Let’s do it, let’s go to Hell.

The Boondock Saints guy is Tarantino if he’d imploded and tanked his career in 1993 and never made Pulp Fiction, then in like 2003 made Reservoir Dogs 2: Some Dogs Go to Hell.

I watched it on HBO twenty years ago. From what I remember, it’s a perfectly fine middle of the road post-Tarantino 90s neo-noir. It’s also probably worth it if you’ve ever had a Famke Janssen crush (and who hasn’t.)

60-year-old Woman Who Can’t Open a PDF Takes Apart Mugger’s Gun ‘Jet Li Style.’

Are you thinking of Mr. JL? Because that was Jerry Lynn under a hood.

The last time I gave Scream a rewatch I realized that every single scene has reached some level of iconic stature in horror and even just general pop culture. It’s kind of a marvel. Scream 2 is really only a step behind. It’s remarkable Wes made two of his best movies within the span of like a year-and-a-half, and they were so successful that he finally had a blank check to make his passion project: a Meryl Streep/Gloria Estefan inner city school musical drama? Sure Wes, do your thing, you’ve earned it.

Was La Parka a secondary luchadore? No real programs or title runs, but he still managed to have memorable moments. El Dandy has to be up there if we’re counting their work outside of WCW (same with Park.) I always thought Damien 666 looked cool, but I can’t remember any specific WCW matches.

The Irishman is great, but totally fantastical. Once I got to the part where he single-handedly delivered the weapons used for the Bay of Pigs invasion I knew we were in historical fiction territory.

It’s easily Snyder’s best movie, although that’s mostly because he hadn’t developed his 300 template house style and it was written by James Gunn.

He’s bizarre.

He’s a lot of fun in Beastmaster 2.

It should have never become seriously recognized as a sport. It’s a freak show. The people who manage it and participate in it are freaks. They shouldn’t steer culture or politics. If for some reason we need experts on committing spousal abuse then we can give them a call.

Tiptoes has McConaughey, Gary Oldman, and Patricia Arquette, plus the much Emmy awarded Peter Dinklage.

That first generation digital camerawork didn’t age great either. I hope if Mann gets Heat 2 made he shoots it on film, though I doubt it.

The people who watch that standup comic have more in common with things I’ve picked up on my shoe than with me. I’m quite comfortable saying they’re bad. That doesn’t make me “good.” After all, I’ve spent much of my life trying to intellectualize and artistically defend professional wrestling, which is a trashy pastime that attracts the lowest common denominator.

Yakov Smirnoff: Bury your gays? In Alfred Hitchcock movies, gays bury you!

My favorite little thing in Longlegs is the mirror shots of Blair Underwood. We keep seeing a portrait of Bill Clinton over his shoulder in his office and then towards the end a static shot of Longlegs on the TV is framed over his shoulder the same way.

I guess I always thought Nicolas Roeg was Australian because of Walkabout. Although he also directed Performance, perhaps the most British mod movie I’ve ever seen. I’m not mad about Don’t Look Now at number one, but that’s because I’m a yankee and it’s in my all time top ten.

I hate this. But also, Chris Hemsworth plays Billy Batts. They beat him to death with a big hammer and then bury him under a theme park.

I’m willing to wait and see how that MMA movie from one of the Safdie’s turns out. I think he was on his way to being an interesting character actor before he pivoted to kids movies and then action blockbusters.

I had a bad feeling when I saw he’d canceled on the upcoming MonsterMania con near me.