pipGofern

This is the damnedest game... At least the neutral fans are getting a show. Sales of Red Bull are gonna skyrocket in Pittsburgh tomorrow...

Was it a nature film about what would happen if a mega earth quake struck California? Nope, I think you're getting it confused with this film (No wonder Cesaro came out wearing a cape!):

Nope, pretty sure Inoki imbuing guys with his "fighting spirit" via bitchslap is what he was referring to. Oh, I also forgot to mention the Wyatt-Kane Inferno Match. Last week, I called that their promos were clearly indicating an Inferno Match but couldn't reconcile how that would fit in with PG WWE. Well, we got our answer. They're gonna wrestle in a ring surrounded by fire to keep outside interference out but absolutely positively under no circumstance is anybody gonna be burned* *So sayeth Michael Cole, who added that last part in a tone not unlike a teacher warning her students to hush up during a nature film

Between Dean Ambrose's "Ghost of Andre" line and Brock Lesnar mocking Punk "taking a beginner's jui jitsu class" and then Zeb channelling Lex Luthor with his plan to drop California into the sea by setting off an explosion along the San Andreas fault, there were a lot of awesome promos tonight.I only hope next week we get a more in depth discussion of Zeb's redistricting plan, complete with Cesaro drawing in a county all for himself. "Antonioburg?" "It's an itty bitty place." (I would include the entire Bryan-Cena segment which was a billion times better than the Punk-Cena faux shoot nonsense except fucking HHH had to come out and make sure nobody forgot about him.)

People will think the ref missing AJ's tap out was a botch but it was obviously a cleverly concealed set up for a storyline on Total Divas. Tune in next week when Nattie is overjoyed to find out she gets a pinfall victory over the Divas champion *cue Nattie talking with an agent while the Bellas look on enviously* only for something to go horribly awry *cue ominous music* leading to despair in her moment of triumph *cue Nattie coming through the curtain crying while the Funkadactyls rush to consol her*

In which country was this DVD released? I'm intrigued by this Eva Mandes. The only positive to come out of The Spirit was that the movie was such a colossal turd that it torpedoed Gabriel Macht's movie career solidly enough for him seek refuge at the USA Network where he finally redeemed himself as Harvey Specter. I avoided Suits until about 2/3 through the first season because I refused to believe the man responsible for such an abysmal performance could pull off such a cool character. I rewatched The Spirit about a year ago to see if it was as bad I remembered (it was worse) and two things struck me. First was how did Frank Miller get such terrible performances out of so many otherwise good actors. And second was why Kate Beckett on Castle repeatedly referred to herself as a Frank Miller fangirl (I always thought it was just a nod to Nathan Fillion being a geek icon):

Haven't gotten to Flashpoint yet but I did watch both parts of The Dark Knight Returns this afternoon. I enjoy all the DCU releases but this one was particularly outstanding. Taking them together as one movie, I'd probably rank it second or third behind only New Frontier and maybe Crisis as far as best of the DCU. Part One was good but was the weaker of the two as Part Two almost could've stood on its own. The animation did a good job of evoking the Miller style (and the director made sure to include all the iconic shots) and the story stuck close enough to the comics that I didn't mind the tweaks they made here and there. The showdown with the Joker is epic and I liked how they didn't shy away from making Superman a Reagan-era Dr. Manhattan. The voice actors were great. Peter Weller was a fantastic choice for the old grizzled Batman. And I loved Ben Linus as the Joker. I've seen some people complain he didn't do the cackling madman gimmick but I thought his creepy voice and unsettling inflections fit this version of the character perfectly. Also, I thought it was an awesome touch that they brought in:

Cardinal fans care. There were a bunch crying on twitter about the injustice of A-Roid passing up a paragon of virtue like Stan The Man. Oh the irony of the fan base who willingly embraced and later forgave Mark McGwire showing outrage over a PED cheat surpassing a record.

Landry Jones with a positively Mark Sanchezian start to his Steelers career; runs into his own man, fumbles and is tackled for a safety. At least he didn't run smack into his center's ass...

You, sir, are an epic jinx. I fucking hate baseball at altitude.

Heath has to recover from ACL surgery first. He's still on the PUP list and the Steelers have been awfully cryptic about his health. I wouldn't be surprised if David Paulson starts at TE the first month of the season. They drafted a kid out of Penn State named Justin Brown who is 6'3. But at this point he's way down the depth chart, behind all the fast shifty under 6 foot guys.

I'm glad Joe Lucia mentioned Whodunnit a few pages back. I heard it advertised but totally forgot to follow up on when it aired. I detest most reality tv but Clue is one of my all-time favorite movies and this reality version of it has been totally addicting. The dude playing Giles deserves his own series. I hope the ratings are good enough for a second season as I haven't enjoyed a reality program this much since the first season of the brilliant Joe Schmo.Anyway, I blew through the first four eps over the weekend and caught up with the final few last night. I don't know what was the bigger head-slapper; the retired LAPD arson detective being utterly clueless or Ronnie's monkey. I suppose you're right, if he had survived after that Case Statement, he pretty much had to be the killer.So:

Posted this in the Man of Steel thread on the old board the day before it finally slept with the fishes:

I have no idea who should be the favorite but the Pirates must meet the Braves in the playoffs. Call it fate. Call it destiny. Call it kismet.

Didn't that NXT dude with the glasses do that gimmick down in FCW? I think his name was Percy Jackson or some such...

Screw up a bases loaded no out situation in the 8th so a light hitting back up utility guy with one career HR can go yard next inning. Of course that happened. Because 2013 Pirates, that's why.

And Canseco hit 16 homers in only 75 games before he was blackballed the next year. He even says in Juiced (which whatever you might think of him, has proven to be almost completely accurate) the only reason he decided to write the book was he was pissed off at getting blackballed as a sort of token sacrificial lamb when usage was running amok. This is why I wrote on the other page that what Kruk said is nuts. The PED users never go away on their own volition, they basically have to be forced from the game through some sort of collusion. While I am no fan of A-Rod, I completely understand why he's fighting this suspension. Braun interfered with the process as much as he did and got 65 games. How the hell does Bud turn around and justify banning him for 200+? It's a not so subtle blackball tactic, pure and simple.

Getting close time after time but seldom winning the big one, hitting a couple cool moves before ultimately losing and having your so-called "friends" constantly turn on you didn't prevent Sting from being a main event babyface for 30 years.

Snakes, rats, PED users...whatever your vermin, Grandpa Bud will eradicate it. *Cue Orkin Man jingle*

You can tell the WWE is lettting the soap opera writers handle the Divas because this angle is classic soaps. What happens when the crazy girl gets abused and dumped by men one too many times? They go lesbian. And who gets more attention than the two drunk chicks making out at the end of the bar? I was playing Attitude Era mode in WWE 13 recently and it struck me, of all the shitty gimmick matches that have been beat to death, why don't they do another Inferno Match? The promos last night gave the impression that's what they were hinting at.Of course, this is the company that sends EMTs out with sutures and four inch maxi pads to staunch the bleeding whenever someone gets a particularly deep paper cut. I really don't see them setting anyone on fire.

Barry Bonds was still hoping a team would sign him after his contract expired and he sat out of baseball for a year. Jose Canseco wanted to play 2-3 more years and still thinks he could hit 20+ homers as a DH. These PED cheats never voluntarily leave, they have to be driven out like rats carrying the bubonic plague. Which I guess makes Bud baseball's St Patrick.Anyway, as someone who read the Selena Roberts bio on A-Rod, I'm fairly certain humility and the ability to realistically evaluate oneself are life skills Alex Rodriguez does not possess.

If the Royals, As, Rays and Pirates all make the playoffs in the same season, I'd place all the sports executives over at Fox and Turner on immediate suicide watch. And ESPN will still find a way to air 3 or 4 Yankees-Mets games on Sunday Night Baseball next season.

CM Punk is such an uncoordinated dork. I once saw Curt Hennig return to the Royal Rumble after a three year hiatus and with a guy holding each leg and twisted backwards at a 45 degree angle, he STILL managed to swat his gum perfectly. Punk missed by a mile from an Indian Deathlock. How embarrassing.

Ah, the late lamented DVDMC once again pays dividends. Thanks to whomever picked "In The Loop" last go-round, I can actually say I'm familiar with the new Doctor. Not only familiar but actually kinda excited 'cause Capaldi is freakin' awesome. While I don't know who else was in the running, it is sort of a ballsy choice to cast a frumpy 55 year old dude as the lead in a series that is immensely popular with fangirls. I just hope they play to his strengths and write him as more of a misanthropic curmudgeon. Sort of a Dr Who crossed with Dr. House. At the very least, he better use plenty of profanity.

I enjoy going to games but I just wish somebody would do something about the obnoxious scoreboard operator(s). I don't know if it's the same in every park (I've only been to PNC and the Trop) but the constant barrage of sound is extremely annoying. You try to point something out to your dad or convince the guys next to you to vote for Cutch and all of a sudden you're drowned out by blaring music or pointless video packages. And the absolute WORST is the graphic that intones "Everybody clap your hands!" We're watching the fucking game, can't you trust us to cheer at the appropriate moments?