AxB

So this won't die:

"Let's see how strong you are, Kellett.... Oh My Jesus!"

They tried to say that anyone who tweets using #Maythe4th automatically gives Disney copyright to use the tweet (and username and @) for marketing purposes. So hopefully everyone's going to use #MaytheFUCKING4th instead.

Tope with light tubes. NSFW, obvs.

The only thing I didn't like about Ventura was his continued inability to accept that Brian Pillman played as a Nose Tackle in college. If it had just been a one time thing then fair enough, but to challenge it every time it's brought up? When Booker T and Graves were having their announcer feud (which was basically Graves waiting for Booker to screw up, then mocking him for it) they were calling a Samoa Joe match. Joe threw a series of one handed punches. Booker said they were Southpaw right jabs. Corey started laughing that anyone could be so stupid, as to think that a southpaw right jab could be a thing that existed. So that was silly.

OK, my match from last week that I didn't review until today... I was going to do it on Sunday before work but then I realised it wasn't a fifteen minute video, it was a thirty minute video followed by a eleven minute video, and I only had like half an hour. But then the first twelve minutes were just ring entrances and introductions. The referee gets entrance music! Brad Armstrong comes out to Born in the USA thus cementing himself as foreign heel against Germany's local favourite Fit Finlay, from Belfast Northern Ireland. Round One and Finlay is hard but fair. Throwing in those little touches like cranking the Cravate before hitting the snapmare, or using an armbar into a wristlock into a hammerlock into a headlock to set up the forearm to the jaw. Armstrong starts out working his Southen babyface offence, with the drop down, leapfrog, Dropkick combo that used to be a universal babyface pretty boy thing but is now an AJ Styles trademarked spot. It's that thing where you have a natural heel like Finlay who the crowd loves, and a natural babyface like Armstrong who they take against. But then the penny drops and in round two Armstrong becomes a cheap shot machine, hitting on the break, pausing to adjust his kneepad in the corner and then shooting the legs when Fit looks away. Although Finlay being Finlay goes straight into an I can fight dirty too routine and round two ends with both guys tumbling out of the ring and brawling on the floor. Back in the ring to start round three, and they're arguing before the bell, then Armstrong slaps Finlay right in the face! To the corner, they clubber, but you take a second to look around and Finlay's smashing you all over again. These strike exchanges really show how both guys are masters of that type of selling that tells the audience "I'm a tough bastard, but fuck that hurt". Finlay falls out of the ring for no apparent reason and the round ends. They play music between rounds, you know. So far it's mostly been 80s Rock like Queen and that, but this time it's Kiss. Not normal rock and roll Kiss, I Was Made For Loving You disco Kiss. Round four and Finlay's head is injured. Armstrong works him over and Finlay struggles to make comebacks. The flying headlock takeover is a thing of beauty, but cranking the head on the mat lets Finlay reverse into a Cross Armbreaker as time expires. The rounds system is really helping them tell the underdog story here - you know the Flair touring champ formula of him retaining by time limit draw, but if there'd been another thirty seconds he'd have lost? You can do that several times in one match when there's rounds. Round five, and we've settled into a story of Brad's arm vs Fit's head, both are hurt but which will collapse decisively? Finlay is your honest dirty fighter, and Armstrong is your sneaky snake. Ugh, they're playing Gary Glitter between rounds now. Not even one of the good ones. No, I don't want to be in your gang. Hulk Hogan did a cover of this with Green Jelly once. It wasn't as good as Three Little Pigs. Finlay kicks out of the Side Russian Legsweep and goes back to cranking the arm, so Armstrong decides to go to the eyes. Nice combination hold of a rear double eyegouge and an upper head bite. Wakigatame and times expires. Joan Jett loves Rock n Roll, so put another dime in tyhe jukebox baby. They're going faster now. Before they were hurt and wary of getting hurt more, but now they're desperate, and the need to inflict damage has become greater than the fear of suffering damage. Fit cranking the arm, but he misses a spear into the corner and Armstrong is now working the left shoulder as well. Huge forearm drops Finlay at the end of the round, and Bryan Adams (not the wrestler) got his first real six string and tried real hard. The kicking and the clubbering and the sudden jump cut in the VHS? OK... this is really good, it deserved to be pro shot, not on a crappy handheld. And the video ends before the match does. That was really good. I bet Finlay won in the end.

I'm not going to post one video. Here's a channel link: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYRqU2G_RxGJDWBBVRaS-Ww/videos Lots of WoS. And some old BritWres that isn't WoS, like Reslo. The Satellite Wrestling playlist has all this awesome stuff nobody knows about.

The best thing about Shawn Mickels is that right before he called him that, he mentioned that he spoke to Shawn backstage but Shawn didn't have much to say, other than make sure you say my name right.

I don't think he had very much, no. He had that one WoS match with Sayama where everyone at the time thought he was insulting Sammy in Japanese, but he was just shouting the names of Wrestlers, like a TNA Curry Man promo.

With what, Telekinesis? Social Distancing!

The grand irony of them building the Liger vs Rocco feud is, Rocco was Liger's chaperone for the whole excursion. Liger lived in Rocco's spare room for his entire time in England.

You know who's good at commentary? Both Jeff @Gorman and @DylanWaco Hales are really good. Can we all agree that announcers who don't get on IRL are usually bad, whereas announcers who are legit friends but have a 'wind each other up' commentary gimmick are good? But when you take it further and they're actually having a commentary feud, that's just the worst?

From the Bury Times. Bury is a town in Lancashire. Well, Greater Manchester now, but it's traditionally in Lancashire. Damn Lancastrians not standing up to City dwellers and their power grabs. You'd never see that sort of thing on t'other side of the Pennines, like.

The nature of fight sports. Liverpool only play Man City twice a season, unless they also meet in one of the cups. There are only so many big matches in a league season - by definition most of the teams are mid-table or lower. Whereas Dana is intentionally packing these shows with top to bottom feature matches, that would normally be main events. Makes it harder to say "This show shouldn't happen under these circumstances" if you actually want to see something that's on there.

They told us to tape out zones on the floor of the shop, to show everyone the correct distance to keep. Only the boss messed up and only did them five feet apart. We have no Tape Measure, so he just went by five floor tiles, and as it turns out they're a foot square. So I ripped those out and did them six and a half tiles apart instead. Which isn't actually two metres, because that's Six foot Seven, but it's a lot closer. But, when nobody's there and you try to play the "Cross from one side to the other only by stepping on each line once" game, it's really difficult now. Five feet was easy, you didn't even need momentum.

So who is your favourite commentator, man?

OK fine. Corey Graves, whatever you feel about him personally, is a terrible commentator because he constantly strives to put himself over, at the expense of the match he is calling.

You think Layfield and Graves are good people?

Announce team content? Ok, let's old school it: Best Announce Team: Short lived and obscure, but the most fun I've ever had listening to announcers talk was Gordon Solie & Lord Steven Regal on WCW Worldwide. Worst Announce Team: WWE's gets progressively worse as Vince adds more foibles and bans more phrases, forces people to repeat taglines over and over. Also a lot of their announcers are legitimately awful people (except Mauro). So some sort of Lawler/ Graves/ Layfield / Ranallo/ Cole combination would be the worst. Most Overrated Announce Team: Lots of people have fond memories of the Ross & Lawler duo. False memory syndrome. They sucked the whole time. Most Underrated Announce Team: Schiavone & Ventura. Tony was really good before he became a Monday Night Wars overseller. Jesse was always good with any partner, but his WWF era partners like Gorilla and Vince were pretty annoying and not as much fun as Tony. Honourable Mentions: Personally, I never could get into Bobby Heenan. Probably because the first time I heard him it was in WCW and he was clearly only there for the paycheck at that point. Seemed bored and lazy, when he was sober. But loads of you lads grew up on him and have fond memories, so I'll give him an honourable mention to acknowledge his existence. Kent Walton and Joey Styles were both best as solo announcers, not as part of announce teams. Although Joey outed himself as a massive cunt eventually. Kent Walton didn't. He just became a softcore porn producer instead.

Swearing is only rude if you have an American accent, apparently. They set the precedent with Sheamus' Kiss Me Arse match, so now of course Drew can say Ye're full ae shet.

WWE fired Cain Velasquez. Seems fair, they were paying him a shitload of money and weren't using him.