FluffSnackwell

Now I need a deep fake of Virgil as Buck Swope being denied a loan to start Virgil's Buck's Super Stereo World by head loan officer Ted DiBiase. "Sports Entertainer! Stop saying that. I'm a wrestler."

Jack Horner scouting new talent?

By the time WrestleMania rolls around, those red lights are going to cause viewers worldwide to have a Silver Shamrock like-reaction. That has to be Vince's end game with this shit before he kicks the bucket. Cause mass hysteria within the audience. The Fiend will probably have an Iron Match after midnight at WrestleMania, leaving every viewer discombobulated worse than Kramer in the Kenny Rogers Roasters episode of Seinfeld.

Basically he morphed from Jon Mikl Thor into some strange hybrid of Guy Fieri and Jon Rhys-Davies, which is oddly fitting since Davies played the Kingpin in The Trial of the Incredible Hulk 1989 TV Movie, which also featured Thor. Correction: After doing a search, Thor was actually in the previous year's The Incredible Hulk Returns, which didn't feature Kingpin as the villain. Daredevil is in both of them though, which is probably what combined them in my head. I just recently saw the last half hour of Returns on ConTV and I was wondering where the hell Kingpin was.

Now I'm picturing Cornette as a false messiah waving his tennis racket at his followers. Obviously the cover can never come off so Cornette can spout a bunch of horseshit about the racket being gimmicked with the power and glory of his father, God. Then tell a bunch of fables about using it to fend off Satanist heathen at a spot show in Kill Devil Hills, North Carolina.

The comedic part is that the whole thing started because Garrett felt the need to talk shit and taunt Mason Rudolph in the first place over the fact that the Browns had just managed to beat a team QB'ed by Mason Rudolph. Cleveland Browns=commitment to flatulence.

I had only read reviews of it on The Unknown Movies Page, then never thought about it until the recent announcement of the Blu-Ray release. About a month ago, it was added to Amazon Prime, which is cool because I wasn't going to use a blind buy on it. I've seen comparisons to Henry and Silence of the Lambs ("Buffalo Bill skins his fifth!") but Raimi is so weird and goofy as Dennis Skinner that it definitely veers into black comedy territory. This is also probably the most character work Traci Lords had to do as the one that got away. Half her character's body is scarred up and she has to stay doped up to deal with the agonizing pain while tracking down Skinner. It was fun as hell though.

Say what you want about the rest of it, but the part where the cheesy biker leader is trying to drive his bike out through the bar window only to get clotheslined in the throat by Chuck with a pool cue, is good shit.

It's basically a forerunner to Behind The Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon. It's not shot faux documentary style but instead presented as a straightforward narrative. A hockey mask wearing-killer, that is clearly a stand-in for Jason, is finishing up slaying a bunch of jackasses in an abandoned flat at the beginning of the movie when he spares a girl after realizing she is blind and mistakes the slasher for her date. The movie is set in London, but the killer, Jackson, does reference him and his mother fleeing to America to get away from his abusive drunk father. While over there, it was mistakenly thought that Jackson drowned, but he didn't and basically ended up committing all the same camp killings as Jason. Of course, Jackson's drunk hermit father still lives in his childhood home, the abandoned flat where the opening killings took place. The rest of the movie focuses on how determined Jackson is to give up his life as a slasher to be in a relationship with the blind girl, Shelly. Everyone from his drunk father telling him he's cursed...... to more idiots (aspiring actors) in a bar wanting his autograph, more or less keep pulling him back in. Whenever he doesn't have his hockey mask on, the killer's face is basically a Toxic Avenger prosthetic. It's funny later when he's in his skivvies and bondage gear with the blind girl, and can't get into S & M because he just can't bring himself to flog her hard. There's also other references to the genre such as Shelly asking him why he hesitated to answer her when they first met, with him explaining that he's never talked to people because most of them never give him the chance before they start screaming their heads off. There's even a scene of the couple going in a costume shop where Jackson gets irritated that Shelly puts on a hockey mask. He also mentions how many of his friends star in their own film franchises. It turns out that the annoying actors at the bar hounding Jackson for an autograph were friends of Shelly's and the climax features him visiting the mansion they're spending the week at.....on Friday the 13th. The opening killing spree features some awesome kills and even kicks off with a Crazy Ralph type figure trying to tell the partygoers how the abandoned house is cursed. The closing killing spree isn't quite as nuts but is still fun. This movie is plenty of fun on its own with all the crazy killings. The humor might be a bit dry but the scenes between Jackson and his father doubting his efforts to go straight with the father also contemplating how great of a killer he could've been if he'd never fallen in love with Jackson's mother, are interesting and also figure into the ending. Horror Movie A Day also did a review of Unmasked Part 25 in the past week. I haven't gotten around to reading it yet but it further explains what the movie is going for. https://horror-movie-a-day.blogspot.com/2019/11/unmasked-part-25.html The movie itself gets the highest recommendation from me. I don't know if it was ever even on DVD, so even without having checked out the extras, it's almost certainly the best presentation it's going to get.

Absurd actually reuses the soundtrack from Pieces. It's actually kind of jarring if you've seen Pieces as many times as I have. The music played in the trailer is the only thing that isn't recycled from Pieces. Actually Pieces was released two years later so I guess it's the one that recycled music from Absurd. It just doesn't seem that way if you've already seen Pieces two dozen times and only recently watched Absurd for the first time. Also their idea of a Super Bowl party doesn't really work. The housekeeper is left alone at the house with the kids while the parents attend a Super Bowl party. I find the lathe drill kill in Absurd to be highly inferior to the one in City of The Living Dead. I guess this was alright. I forgot exactly how the blind girl was so easily able to saw off the big freak's head but it was ridiculous. I've watched Silent Rage a few times in the last month, which also has a Wolverine-like Michael Myers rip-off killer. Silent Rage does have a Rifftrax, even though I still laugh at plenty of shit in it even without the Rifftrax. Chuck Norris's love scenes with the mafioso's daughter from The Wanderers are almost as weird as that goofy Super Bowl spaghetti supper in Absurd. Silent Rage has a cool theme but I must warn you that there are also scenes of Chuck Norris mellowing out in his apartment to imitation Steely Dan muzak. The only change-up is that instead of being pursued by a Loomis figure priest, Ron Silver kind of plays that same basic role as the nut's doctor before he got killed and resurrected, but the other doctor (who basically resurrects him with Weapon X serum) is very protective of his monster. The whole experimental medical facility in Silent Rage is kind of like the hospital in The Beyond, where physicians also help out by performing autopsies. Even though Silver is a psychiatrist, he gets to help operate on his psycho patient after the cops shoot him the first time. The arguments between Silver and the mad doctor over the moral and ethic dilemma of turning a dead loon into an invincible monster are as funny as the arguments in Winterbeast between the lodge owner and head park ranger.

The Fiend is clearly responsible..... taking a page out of this guy's playbook.

The boogeyman I had nightmares about as a kid was a cross between Michael Myers and The Boogeyman from the animated Ghostbusters series. It's either Michael Myers or The Tall Man. Nothing says Boogeyman like a metaphysical shapeshifter that can bend reality and enslaves all the corpses in every town he invades.

Seth should've just turned his back on Bray and refused to believe in him like Nancy did in the original Nightmare On Elm Street. That way the Fiend would've vanished into thin air.

Well, he did constantly accuse the red-headed girl in The Beyond of being on drugs.

October 1st - 7th Humanoids From The Deep (1980) – Only in a movie involving sexual predator mutant fishmen is Vic Morrow firebombing a Native American activist’s cabin a subplot. Also Vic threatens to kick Johnny Eagle’s “drunk ass out of here” even though he’s never seen with a beer in his hand through the whole movie. Unmasked Part 25 (1988) - Great British forerunner to Behind The Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon. The hockey-mask wearing killer, Jackson basically has the same origin story as Jason. The key difference is that Jackson and his mother actually fled London to get away from his abusive, alcoholic, murderous father. Somehow Jackson ended up back in London living in his childhood home where his drunk father still lives. Jackson meets a blind girl and apparently ends his whole schtick as a mute killer (at least when he's around her) humorously explaining that nobody's ever tried talking to him before.....they just start screaming. As Jackson is trying to retire from the game to start a relationship with this blind girl, his father reminds him that he comes from a long line of psychopathic killers. The movie opens up with some awesome kills that are equally ridiculous and ingenious. It ends with another series of kills that are still good if not quite as impressive as the opening killing spree. In between is a parody of a slasher that falls somewhere between the aforementioned Behind The Mask, An American Werewolf in London, and even Spinal Tap. Terror (1978) - This starts off with a witch named Mad Dolly cursing an entire family as she’s being burned at the stake. Like Superstition, the havoc is wreaked in a variety of ways, mostly involving POV murders done by the hand of an unknown killer although flying inanimate objects do their fair share of damage too. Being made by the same guy that made Prey, there is obviously going to be some sleaze. Several scenes take place in a strip club and on the set of a softcore porn shoot. These scenes do lead to the grisly demise of a few characters. Vice Squad (1982) - This is the story of a misunderstood psycho cowboy pimp named Ramrod. The Hidden (1987) - The closest thing you get to a monster in this is an alien parasite that looks like a giant fishing lure. It doesn’t matter because the reason for the season is mindless fun. My favorite throwaway line in the movie is a reply to the doctor after he tells the cops that nobody deserves to die like that. The first guy (that the alien took over as its vessel) is on life support after being shot dozens of times and then being burnt up from his car exploding. The other cop is listing off all the nefarious shit he’s done to deserve to die a horrible death and he mentions stealing luxury sports cars in the same breath as pointing out the guy murdered a couple of children. Priorities, people. Waxwork (1988) – Considering that this only had a $3.5 million dollar budget to $12 million for The Monster Squad, even though this had more recognizable actors in it, it’s no wonder every monster wasn’t up to the level of a Stan Winston creation. Also there were a lot more monsters in this when you take the battle royal finale into consideration. Regardless, I’ll never quit envisioning a Waxwork with Monster Squad’s Wolfman and Gillman murdering a bunch of assholes during the big battle royal finale. Did David Warner ever play Dracula? He would’ve been a better Dracula than Ator the Fighting Eagle.

Highlight of the marathon was easily Tom Atkins calling up to tell Joe Bob he'd kick his ass next time he saw him for talking shit on Halloween III. This was egged on by Darcy the Mail Girl every time Joe Bob pointed out how bad of an idea it was to ever do a Halloween movie without Michael Myers in it. At least the segments with Joe Bob explaining exactly how they ended up with the crap that is Halloween 5 were entertaining.

I tapped out of Joe Bob's Halloween Hootenanny halfway through Halloween 5 to watch my new Blu-ray of Unmasked Part 25 instead. It was right after that daring three .....count 'em three jump scare barn scene.

I bet that fake severed Bray head The Fiend brings to the ring figures into the finish somehow.